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God mode: an exploration in aspirational living through the digital

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God mode: an exploration in aspirational living through the digital

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Content God Mode: An Exploration in Aspirational Living Through the Digital
by
Paulson Lee
A Thesis Presented to the
FACULTY OF THE USC ROSKI SCHOOL OF ART AND DESIGN
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF FINE ARTS (FINE ARTS)
MAY 2020
Copyright 2020 Paulson Lee 
To Dad,
Wish u were here.
집에 가자. i
Acknowledgements.
Dr. Andrew Campbell
Jennifer West
Keith Mayerson
Nao Bustamante
Juan Morales
Johnny Forever
Casey Kauffmann
Dulce Soledad Ibarra
Joseph Valencia
Ana Briz
noé olivas
Thank u.
ii
Abstract.
In this thesis, I explore the performance of self and self-representation in the digital
sphere. Looking at artworks and platforms that center avatar creation and virtual world-
building, I focus on the digital representation of individuals and where the lines blur between
affect and sincerity, fantasy and reality. Utilizing Sims 4 as a platform to illustrate the fluidity of
the digital landscape, I am investigating the concept of the ‘possible self’ introduced by Hazel
Markus and Paula Nurius to highlight the aspirational aspect of digital living and the escapist
notion of performativity. iii
T able of Contents.
Dedication …………………………………………. i
Acknowledgements …………………………………………. ii
Abstract …………………………………………. iii
Introduction …………………………………………. 1
Afterword …………………………………………. 26
Bibliography …………………………………………. 27

It is another beautiful summer day in Del Sol Valley. I wake up next to my gorgeous partner in
my meticulously decorated mid-century modern style home and the first thing I do is reach for my
cellphone to check the analytics of my latest post on social media — a morning ritual that I’ve grown
accustomed to since my rise as a social media style influencer. I’ve recently erupted on the fashion scene
as a notable newcomer and I can’t seem to stop feeding the insatiable hunger that my newfound fame
has developed. I take a selfie, caption it “#wokeuplikethis”, and update my profile. Early bird gets the
likes. I greet my slow-to-wake partner, Fernando, with a quick peck on the cheek and I swiftly leave bed
to get ready for the day. I don’t have the time to have breakfast and I rush out the door, racing to the
end of the block. Fernando and I don’t own a car — no one in this world does. I then disappear from
the game’s interface.
The Sims is a life simulation video game developed by Maxis and published by
Electronic Arts, a game company especially known for their sports simulation games such as
the FIFA series. A video game whose franchise spans four generations of flagship titles, The
Sims is a computer game that initially places the player into a suburban environment. The
world of The Sims is a little slice of the universe under the dominion of the player who now
holds a god-like perspective and agency over the characters, called Sims, that inhabit the
digital landscape of the game. In the game, the player has the choice to create avatars,
designing their personalities, skills, and appearance, or play pre-made avatars to act as their
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digital puppets, guiding them through daily tasks, relationships, and careers. Sims are placed
into either a pre-built home or a house the player has built from the ground up, taking over
management of the household to direct the Sims through typical responsibilities of a home-
owning citizen, such as cooking, cleaning, and going to work.
The Sims was one of the first video games to introduce same-sex relationships, however,
in the first flagship title, same-sex partners were only able to move into a home together
without the option for marriage. Though the couple would have the option to adopt a baby,
1
this is an option extended to all households containing two or more adults regardless of
relationship. The feature of same-sex relationships in The Sims universe would later be built on
top of and advanced in future iterations of the franchise. The inclusion of same-sex
relationships in the first installment of The Sims franchise makes sense — after all, its design
was based on the simulation of real life, a concept that creator Will Wright envisioned after
losing his home in the Oakland firestorm of 1991. While assessing his losses and rebuilding
his life, Wright wanted to recreate the experience of replacing his home and possessions into a
video game that resembles a virtual doll house. Wright was no stranger to simulation games,
having developed the hit city-building video game SimCity in 1989. Nine years later, The Sims
was released February 4th, 2000 for PC.
2
Simon Parkin, “The Kiss That Changed Video Games” The New Yorker, July 18, 2014. https://www.newyorker.com/
1
tech/annals-of-technology/the-kiss-that-changed-video-games.
Lucy James, “History Of The Sims: How A Major Franchise Evolved From City-Builder To Life-Simulator”
2
Gamespot, November 19, 2017. https://www.gamespot.com/gallery/history-of-the-sims-how-a-major-franchise-
evolved-/2900-1623/.
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The game puts the player’s time management skills to the test—you may want to cook
dinner for a cozy night in and attend your friend’s birthday party, but you have to clean the
kitchen before you can use it (the garbage needs taking out), or you notice you are on the
verge of passing out from exhaustion and might pee on yourself from a dangerously full
bladder. The mundane responsibilities of reality come flying at you relentlessly in the
computer game in the form of Sims’ eight basic needs: Hunger, Energy, Comfort, Fun,
Hygiene, Social, Bladder, and Environment. Taking care of these eight basic needs is the
responsibility of every player as they guide their Sims — failure to do so can result in
depression or even death. But, like many other games, there’s always a cheat for that.
Instant gratification is simple to achieve. A simple, fluid combination of CTRL+Shift+C on the
keyboard brings up a command prompt within the game’s interface where I can input phrases such as
“FreeRealEstate On” to make all homes in the game free and “careers.promote styleinfluencer” to
advance in my style influencer career with the simple press of a button. T o reverse death is just as easy.
Luckily, due to my prudent care for my Sims, I rarely come across the game’s Grim Reaper and my focus
is put onto my aspirations to be rich and famous. However, my impatience does not serve me well in this
respect and I type in the word “motherlode” into the prompt, gifting me 50,000.00 simoleons. It’s easy
3
to get rich quick here. Even without cheating the system, money is plentiful in The Sims. The economy is
stable and jobs are easily attainable — one simply has to click on a newspaper or cellphone and pick a
The currency exchanged in The Sims universe is the simoleon.
3
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starting position in any career of one’s choosing, and it’s yours. Still, I choose to take the easy route and
cheat.

The game's artificial intelligence ensures that each Sim autonomously responds to
outside conditions, but intervention by the player is necessary to keep the Sims on track as
they have their own desires, habits, and quirks. Stick a computer in the room and your Sims
will stop what they’re doing, make a bee-line for the computer, and play games on it for
countless hours. Art imitates life.
The Sims employs a nonlinear sandbox-style gameplay meaning there is no correct way
to play, and that there is potentially unlimited replay value — there is no winning or losing, no
game-overs or triumphant ends. You go to the toilet, wash the dishes, and go to work every day
until you die; a true to form simulation of real life. Perhaps one of the most enjoyable parts of
the game is narrativizing your Sim’s life, leading them into successful careers, having them
navigate tumultuous romantic relationships, and/or getting them to start families — it is
reminiscent of playing with dolls, only much more technologically advanced with more overt
mature themes.
It is important to note that Sims do not speak English; instead, they speak a calculated
kind of gibberish with pictures that appear in bubbles above their heads that act as subtitles.
They speak a language, Simlish, that prompts players to fill in the missing details in character
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interaction either through context clues or they can fabricate entire narratives in their heads.
This approach to social interaction among Sims forces players to imagine what is not stated.
The players are a crucial aspect to completing the function of the game as they fill in the
blanks that The Sims purposely leaves to create open-ended gameplay. The game relies on the
player’s personal experiences, whims, and desires, handing over the agency entirely to the
player.
Not only do the real-world experiences of players influence their perceptions of their
Sim world, but people project aspects of their own lives into their simulated lives. One of the
initial things that players tend to do when first playing the game is place themselves, their
families, their friends, and their homes into the universe they control as seen in YouT ube
gameplay videos by numerous popular gaming channels.
4
Although there is no real objective to The Sims, things that somewhat resemble failure
do exist in the game. The death of a Sim is possibly the most notable example of this. Sims
may die from starvation, drowning, fire, or electrocution; when this happens the Grim Reaper
appears on-site to replace the lifeless Sim body with a tombstone or urn. Occasionally, the
ghost of the deceased Sim may haunt the building where they died. Children will be sent away
to military school if they fail their classes or a social worker will come take them away if any of
their eight needs are not being fulfilled, especially their need for food. However, even then, the
Such videos uploaded to YouT ube, the popular video sharing platform, are often called “Simself” videos.
4
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player has the ability to take advantage of these in-game failures to abuse and kill their Sims,
turning the game into something surprisingly dark and sadistic.
With no true repercussions, the player is left with an array of in-game options without
having to face any game-overs. The player can simply load up a save file from a previous
session or start over like nothing ever happened — one of the many privileges of being a god-
like figure with access to a plethora of lives to play with. However, what happens when
something goes awry when playing with one’s so-called ‘true’ identity?
I have a complicated relationship with Instagram. It’s practically a pathology. Although I am
constantly on the app, I rarely post. Always exploring the landscape of Instagram, being faced with the
glossy content produced by its users daunts me. I am always faced with the anxiety and pressure to
share a sleek, stylish image, or a high quality photo of my artwork. Whenever I do have the perfect
image to post, I become at a loss for words always searching for the perfect caption. I am always
searching for perfection. I understand it doesn’t exist, but the illusion of it does in the app and I am
bewitched by it. I imagine this is how many other people feel as well. The curated life of an Instagram
influencer weaves a kind of mythology that becomes desired by the masses — and I want it. I want is so
bad that it makes me sick. My eyes are transfixed on pictures of perfect people, places, and things, only
feeding my anxiety, but I can’t stop.

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In 2015, eighteen year old social media influencer Essena O’Neill hit the self-destruct
button on her Instagram account by deleting over two thousand posts and finally setting her
digital presence on fire with revised captions on the remaining ninety-six, deconstructing each
photo with a revealing anecdote that cut through the glimmering artifice she had carefully
curated. Her aesthetic had a sun-kissed appeal with many of her photos depicting her bikini-
clad and beaming against the backdrop of a bright Australian beach. “NOT REAL LIFE - took
over 100 in similar poses trying to make my stomach look good. Would have hardly eaten that
day. Would have yelled at my little sister to keep taking them until I was somewhat proud of
this. Yep so totally #goals”, one caption reads in reference to a photo of O’Neill reclining in a
neon colored swimsuit that has since been deleted. The captions on the rest of O’Neill’s posts
5
were edited to more accurately reflect the emotions she tied to each photo — ones of hunger,
loneliness, and anger. After lifting the veil off of her social media avatar, a ‘celebrity construct’
as she calls it, O’Neill disappeared from all of her social media platforms, deleting her entire
feed and leaving but two photos of inspirational quotes behind.
6 7

As a child, I used to play with Barbie dolls. Barbie was inspiring — an everywoman that has
it all. Having managed to hold down over 200 careers, from yoga instructor to POTUS, Barbie has
Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of T eenagers (New York: Vintage Books, 2017), 281.
5
Essena O’Neill, “ESSENA O'NEILL - WHY I REALLY AM QUITTING SOCIAL MEDIA,” (Y ouT ube video, 17:40,
6
November 5, 2015), https://youtu.be/gmAbwTQvWX8.
essenaoneill, (Instagram post, April 16, 2016), https://instagram.com/p/BEQPd0yKqCR/.
7
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accomplished to do it all while looking great. T o me, Barbie was the ultimate conduit for me to project
all my childhood aspirations onto — allowing me to suture into her pink, plastic fantasy and explore
all the possibilities in life that were not initially offered to me as a little boy. As I grew older, I was
weaned away from playing with dolls and I moved onto video games — where I found The Sims. The
Sims allowed me for the continued play with dolls in a virtual capacity that subverted the supervision of
my family under the guise of a computer game. Here, I surveyed the prospects of gender, sexual identity,
and relationships — all matters that were left unspoken in my household.
Influencer marketing, a rather new concept brought on by platforms such as YouT ube
and Instagram, has infiltrated our lives so much so that major corporations like Mattel, Inc. are
now participants and drivers of social media economies. Barbie, Mattel’s iconic bread and
butter for over fifty years, is now being used as the corporation’s avatar in a new fashion: a
social media influencer with her own vlog series. For years, a branch of the Barbie franchise
included digital entertainment in the form of films and TV shows using CGI. However, this is a
first for Mattel to directly (or perhaps indirectly) interact with their target demographic, and
one of the first to employ these marketing strategies so seamlessly. Barbie Roberts is a teenage
girl who takes us on a tour of her house when her ‘dreamhouse’ happens to hit the market in
our world and she introduces new friends through challenge videos when new dolls under the
Barbie brand get released. She is quite literally marketing and selling herself, the Barbie
8 9
Barbie, “HOUSE TOUR! 🏠 | Barbie Vlogs,” (Y ouT ube video, 3:51, May 4, 2018), https://youtu.be/ynruLJowOPI.
8
Barbie, “Barbie® DreamHouse Step by Step Assembly | Barbie,” (Y ouT ube video, 9:52, July 18, 2018), https://
9
youtu.be/dJiiEEitzfw.
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brand, by leaning into the phenomenon of the digital influencer. Though a corporate avatar,
10
Barbie is branding herself not all that differently from the way human influencers and
vloggers brand themselves and start selling their own products. The only difference is that
vlogger Barbie doesn’t do any of the actual marketing of merchandise. In her universe, she is
actually a teenager living in Malibu but in ours she is a cash cow. Mattel simply pushes out the
products that make teen influencer Barbie’s life so appealing. Though more relatable than ever
before, this adaptation of Barbie is still aspirational — thus the selling of products.
Barbie is not alone. The Internet age has spawned femme bots of different forms from
Hatsune Miku, a vocal synthesizer software anthropomorphized into a holographic Japanese
pop star that has been on the market since 2007, to Lil Miquela, a virtual Instagram model-
turned-musician whose lore paints her as an eternally nineteen year old AI robot. In the
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different platforms where the aforementioned figures live, barriers are lowered which give way
to the creation of multiple digital universes. Virtual landscapes like Instagram collapse time
and space, creating entirely separate universes that exists solely on those platforms. As Martina
Leeker explains it:
There is a specific way of generating a self in digital cultures, which is linked to their
dependency on data and interaction. Only when something is present can it be mined
Cerise Castle, “It's 2018 and Barbie Is Officially Woke,” (Vice, October 16, 2018), https://www.vice.com/en_us/
10
article/evw7za/its-2018-and-barbie-is-officially-woke.
Claire Shaffer, “Hatsune Miku, Holographic Japanese Idol, Makes Her Coachella Debut,” (Rolling Stone, January
11
3, 2020), https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/hatsune-miku-coachella-933263/.
Emilia Petrarca, “Body Con Job,” in New Y ork Magazine (May 14, 2018), 46.
12
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for data and be engaged with. It is only under these conditions that sociotechnological
environments produce a self. This self is an illusion, as it is pure invention and it is not
relevant in itself, but only within its functionality – a principal obscured by the self-
illusion mechanisms of the technological wonderland.
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In this case, the personalities that we see and watch on our screens are individuals that,
although limited to an illusionistic level, take on lives of their own. But what is an illusion if
not a trick of the senses and thoughts to perceive something that is not there to be real? If this
is so, what is the difference between vlogger Barbie and someone like Essena O’Neill, and
what does this do to the real life counterpart behind the Essena O’Neill that existed on
Instagram?
In the advent of technology and digital communications, individuals are given the
agency to virtually represent themselves in ways that transcend their corporeal bodies. This
marking of one’s identity, or perhaps creation of a new one, can be manifested in the mode of
a broad scope of forms from a photograph, a voice, or a username. This practice of self-
14
representation in virtual spaces is commonly referred to as avatar creation. The word ‘avatar’
finds its roots in Hinduism, coming from the word ‘avatara’, a Sanskrit word meaning ‘descent’
used to describe the physical embodiment of a divine being. However, the common use of the
word in its popularity in Western culture is used to describe quite the opposite, taking the
Martina Leeker, “Performing (the) Digital, Positions of Critique in Digital Culture,” in Performing the Digital:
13
Performativity and Performance Studies in Digital Culture (Bielefield, Germany: T ranscript Verlag, 2017), 23.
Sun Joo Ahn, Jesse Fox, and Jeremy Bailenson, “Avatars,” In Leadership in Science and T echnology: A Reference
14
Handbook, 695–702 (Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 2011), 695.
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material (the human body) to create the immaterial (the digital avatar) — to transcend rather
than descend. This calls to mind a surpassing of the limitations of the physical world and
15
stepping into the digital where the possibilities are seemingly endless.
The use of avatars is most commonly in reference to digital spaces such as video games,
online communities and forums, and even social media platforms (such as in the case of
Essena O’Neill). However, the idea of the avatar emerges from the physical. Avatars are a
presentation of the self and in extension, a performance of that self (or selves) to a social
audience around us. As Erving Goffman writes about in The Presentation of the Self in Everyday
Life, the choice to present one’s self is to perform for this social audience as we choose our
gestures, mannerisms, and actions to create a desired impression of the self to others. The
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idea of representational identity refers to intentional performance of the self, the performer
being fully aware in their self-direction. The performer has consciously shaped the kind of
17
person they want to portray: ‘‘Identity is conceptualized as a more or less stable object (i.e., a
self) that is carefully performed for others in an act of impression management,’’. Or, as the
18
self-proclaimed “Queen of Drag,” RuPaul says, “We’re all born naked and the rest is drag,”.
19
Noel Sheth, “Hindu Avatāra and Christian Incarnation: A Comparison,” in Philosophy East and West 52, no. 1
15
(Honolulu, HI: University of Hawai’i Press, 2002), 98.
Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (New York City, NY: Doubleday, 1959), 10.
16
Herbert Blumer, Symbolic Interactionism; Perspective and Method (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1969), 94-95.
17
Ulrike Schultze, “Understanding Cyborgism Using Photo-Diary Interviews to Study Performative Identity in
18
Second Life,” in Researching Virtual Worlds: Methodologies For Studying Emergent Practices, Vol. 14 (Abingdon, UK:
Routledge, 2014), 55.
RuPaul, foreword to Lettin It All Hang out: an Autobiography (New York: Hyperion, 1995), viii.
19
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There are many examples of physical avatars including board game pieces (such as the
top hat piece in Monopoly and the colorful assortment of humanoid figures in Clue),
characters created in Dungeons & Dragons, and embodied personas such as alter egos and
drag queens. Drag queens represent characters, or more appropriately, alter egos that are
different from the self but not necessarily separate. Oftentimes, drag queens are amalgams of
augmented references mined from pop culture and media. Everything is augmented — drag is
exaggeration, it is fantasy. Drag queens are often burdened with the responsibility for bringing
their audiences into a fantasy world, however, they need, and do, feel the fantasy for
themselves before they can bring anyone else along for the ride. But what makes a drag
queen? A wig, a sparkly costume, and a pair of cha-cha heels? Drag is about the control (or
play) of perception; queens use the semiotics of beauty, media, and glamour to command the
audience into suspending their disbelief for three minutes during their number. Cher is on
stage, not a man in immaculate makeup and bone straight hair. Drag queens use this ability to
cast illusionistic glamour onto their viewers, often emulating iconic figures, entertainers, or
characters. This is not much different from the digital avatars that the average person may use
in their virtual lives to perform as in video games, on social media, and on other online
platforms.
The city Fernando and I live in, Del Sol Valley, is the Sims 4 equivalent of Los Angeles,
specifically the Hollywood Hills. This world comes with The Sims 4 Get Famous expansion pack, which
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allows Sims to pursue careers in acting and chase fame. While I am away at work, my control has
switched to my partner Fernando, a famous artist who occasionally passes my paintings as his own in
order to supplement his new growing body of work. I don’t mind that we live out the plot to Big Eyes
every now and then. After all, it’s the least I can do since it’s his cut of his painting sales that paid for
the recent renovations to my dream home. He hops out of bed with a spritely step and immediately
heads to his studio, resuming the paintings he’s been working on, but I grow impatient as a god figure
and press the ultra-speed button to exponentially increase the speed in which time passes. His fame is
waning as he hasn’t had a solo show in a while despite working tirelessly to get his new paintings
finished.
I finally return from work with a big promotion and bonus, but Fernando doesn’t greet me with
a hug and kiss as he usually does nor does he congratulate me on my big score. I can only assume that
there is a bit of tension brewing. Perhaps he doesn’t enjoy seeing my success while he struggles to keep
his, but much like men in real life, I ultimately cannot read his mind despite my god-like powers in the
game.
I get a call from an acquaintance congratulating me on my promotion and he asks me out on a
date but I decline as I am happily partnered, but his offer makes we wonder “What if?” After all,
Fernando and I have been on the rocks for the past hour — a whole two weeks in game. I shake off
those thoughts and head into my office to update my blog. I then go to the kitchen to prepare dinner:
herb-crusted salmon — a Martha Stewart recipe I’ve been keeping in my back pocket. Once I finish
making dinner, I serve Fernando and myself dinner and we silently eat out meal. I head to the laundry
room to throw some clothes into the washer (despite the fact that I have a growing pile of laundry I
need to do in real life). Why am I left to do everything around the house?
I end up turning in early — I’ve had a big day — while my partner heads to the living room to
watch a romantic film. While my Sim-self sleeps, I am left to voyeuristically watch Fernando slip into a
flirty mood but that's too bad because I'm sleeping. Shaking it off, he goes to clean up the kitchen. I
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appreciate that. Perhaps he’s not so bad after all. After loading the dishwasher, Fernando sneaks into
my office to use my computer to go into an online chatroom. He better not be chatting with other Sims
romantically. I suspect that he might be, so I use my agency as the player to put an end to it. Even when
I’ve constructed the perfect virtual boyfriend, I still sleep uneasily with the thought that he may be
unfaithful. But I made him the man he is today and I could just as easily take that away from him.
He makes a bee line for our pool and strips off his clothes, jumping into the water for a quick
skinny dip. This goes on for quite some time before he gets all pruny and then pulls himself out of the
water, drying himself off as he heads back inside. Naked, he takes a seat on our couch to continue his
movie even though I’ve told him time and time again how much I dislike that. The couch is fabric so it's
quite difficult to clean but I’m asleep so I can’t do anything about it. That bastard. He yawns and heads
to the bedroom to join me in bed. Time immediately speeds up as we both sleep. The sun rises and it’s
another beautiful summer day in Del Sol Valley. My eyes flutter open and I immediately reach my
phone.
Everyone plays The Sims 4 differently -- there’s no right way to play. Each gameplay
differs from player to player and is a reflection of them. In my own real-life desire for success,
I find myself playing out the banal tasks of the everyday and caught in the loop of routine for
hours. The illusion of productivity exists in game as character progress. There is no need to
address my responsibilities in reality while I tackle them in-game. As my eyes are glued to the
screen, life happens outside and my real-world duties begin to pile up, pushed to the side so I
can do laundry and cook dinner in a computer game.
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Watching my Sim-self navigate his daily life, I wonder if he’s happy. I then take a look at
myself and wonder if I’m happy. I’ve constructed a dream life for myself and yet I don’t find it
especially enjoyable. Perhaps it’s time for a change. I load up a different save file, where I have my Sim-
self apply to the two universities that exist within the Sims 4 universe, the University of Britechester and
Foxbury Institute. This version of me is a single party animal with a romantic side who lives in a studio
apartment. Unemployed, I sleep during the day, wake up at midnight, and pee. I head to the kitchen
and cook myself a blackened bass dinner, eating it while standing since I have no chairs nor table -- I’m
on a budget.
Despite my penchant for partying, I painstakingly put together my school applications,
scholarship applications, and grant proposals. Crossing my fingers, I slip my applications into the
mailbox at the break of dawn and head to the library so I can scope out the academic environment and,
more importantly, flirt with other Sims. I spot Noah, a drama major at Foxbury Institute, sitting at a
library computer and I approach the student with a flirty introduction. The flirtation goes without a
hitch, much thanks to my level 7 in charisma. I spend the rest of the day touring both campuses and
flirting with every sim I come across.
I head back home and go to bed at 4:00 pm. I sleep soundly until a vampire breaks into my
home once the sun sets and I do all I can in my power as a god figure to stop myself from being
munched on. I do a series of actions, using a cheat to teleport myself from my bedroom to the bathroom
and then to my kitchen but the vampire persists. I finally relent and let the vampire drink my blood. I
pass out from the blood loss and wake up in the morning. Did the vampire just fix my sleep schedule?
It’s now day time and today is the day — I check the status of my applications and lo and behold: I’ve
been accepted to both universities! Each university specializes in different fields — University of
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Britechester specializes in the arts such as drama, fine art, literature, history, and communication and
has a New England, old university vibe while Foxbury Institute is a state-of-the-art institution that
specializes in the sciences, mathematics, and, oh, villainy.
I enroll in the fine arts program at the University of Britechester — I can’t help myself. With the
credits I’ve enrolled in plus university housing, the tuition comes out to 1553.00 simoleons. However, I
secured scholarships and grants totaling in 1200.00 and so I only have to pay 353 out of pocket. I have
the option to take up a student loan but even in this digital universe, the interest alone will come biting
back later down the line. I’ve played that game before in real life, I’m not going to do it again on a
computer game. I pay the remaining balance and I’m whisked away to my new living situation on the
Ivy League-style campus.
I’m dressed to impress on my first day on campus in a full Dries Van Noten ensemble, one of the
many pieces of custom content I have acquired from the Internet. Even with my designer wardrobe, I
can’t afford a laptop so I take a part-time job as a barista. My outfit doesn’t impress some of my new
roommates, Raylan, another fine art major, Bradford, a computer science major, and Navya, a villainy
major. I’ve been assigned to share a room with Navya but I don’t like the sound of rooming with a
future villain, so I ask to switch beds with Bradford so I can sleep soundly but he refuses. I guess I’ll
sleep with one eye open.
Avatars can range from images pre-programmed by game developers to entirely unique
representations created by the user utilizing the built-in artistic software. Usually, the latter is
more desirable and is oftentimes a main draw to video games and virtual worlds such in the
case of platforms such as Second Life and IMVU where social interaction between users are
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pushed to the forefront. One of the defining characteristics of virtual worlds is how users are
visually represented. In these virtual social environments, how one is perceived is what
matters most when there is no other evidence to support your credibility or even likability. In
almost all cases, social interactions are mediated by their avatar, a virtual body created by users
to project their identity and actions into the world. Therefore, these virtual interactions are
based on a simulated face-to-face metaphor, with users puppeteering a virtual body to control
actions such as bodily movements and gestures. However, avatars fulfill more than
communication needs. Avatars are a visual representation of the user, a tangible embodiment
of their identity. Avatar building, or character creation as it is commonly referred to, is how
individuals are greeted by these virtual worlds as they are handed an opportunity to be born
by their own hands. In recent years, avatar customization options have increased greatly. Now,
many virtual worlds allow individuals to change their avatars’ physical features from eye color,
height, and body type to clothing, accessories, and personality traits. These features provide
users the freedom and agency to experiment and build their self-representations with unique
appearances, personalities, and personalized behavioral patterns to support their social
interactions online.
I look at my reflection in the mirror, reflection in my webcam, and photos of myself, analyzing
every aspect of my face as I mold my Sim to resemble me. I have the opportunity to build myself
digitally from scratch through The Sims 4 and I am faced with three different ways I could go about it.
!17

I could portray myself sans plastic surgery, the way I would have looked if I hadn’t undergone any of
the cosmetic procedures I did at the age of eighteen. I could portray myself accurately, adding the
cosmetic alterations — the only difference being that these alterations would be genetic rather than
additive. Finally, I could portray myself aspirationally, creating myself the way I wish I looked like —
an amalgamation of representations of male beauty in media, ideas of masculinity, and my Korean-
American male identity.

The concept of altering, or even transforming, human appearance pervades the
sociocultural system of our world. Minor cosmetic modifications such as the changing hair
color, makeup, and clothing are seen as socially acceptable, if not beneficial and encouraged.
However, the ability to absolutely transform oneself has long been reserved for figures in
myths and fairytales, a powerful and deadly function associated with magic. For example,
consider werewolves from European lore, the fox spirit from East Asia, and the Hindu God
Vishnu who adopts various incarnations (and for whom the term ‘avatar’ in its original
definition is best associated with). Although drastic physical self-transformations on the
20
body are either costly or laborious as seen in cosmetic surgery and gender affirming surgery,
flexible and effortless transformations are accessible in virtual environments where users have
The nine-tailed fox spirit is a common motif in East Asian mythology. The fox spirit is depicted as a shapeshifter
20
with the ability to take the form of a humanoid, often a beautiful young woman. Variants include the huli jing in
China, the kitsune in Japan, and the kumiho in Korea.
!18

the ability to choose and customize their own avatars. The mercurial nature of our self-
21
representations in online environments is a fundamental aspect of what it means to have a
virtual identity.
The ‘Create a Sim’ mechanic (CAS) is how users customize an individual Sim’s
appearance and personality. The parallel ‘Create a Family’ mechanic is used to organize Sims
into families or households, customizing relationships within a household before placing them
into a particular home or neighborhood. The CAS system options in the first installment of
The Sims were rather limited in its customization options in comparison to those of the game’s
sequels — in The Sims 4, customization ranges from voice pitch to feet size to the appearance
of a Sim’s teeth.
The options in The Sims 4 are seemingly endless with its sculpting mechanic that
allows users to sculpt features on a Sim’s body like clay. However, if the amount of
customization that comes with the game doesn’t suit a gamer’s fancy, they have the ability to
download modifications and custom content from resource websites that specialize in user-
created content to enrich their experience with any of The Sims installments. Said user-created
content includes but is not limited to custom clothing and hair options, additional eye colors
and skin tones, and Sim sculpting tools. Though these additions to the CAS system aid in
creating a more individualized experience specific to the gamer, allowing said gamer to
simulate people that reflect more accurately to their life (or perhaps reflect an aspirational
Nick Yee and Jeremy Bailenson, The Proteus Effect: Modification of Social Behaviors via T ransformations of Digital
21
Self-Representation (Stanford, CA: Department of Communication, Stanford University, 2007), 271.
!19

component), there are further additions that can supplement the gaming experience from
custom furniture to modifications that create custom gameplay options (some mods add in
explicit violence and sexual content).
With each official expansion pack EA releases enhanced with user-created
modifications, players can construct a microcosm to live out multiple possibilities in a digital
environment that mirrors reality — a move towards hyperreality.
Jean Baudrillard’s notion of hyperreality is an inability of the consciousness to
differentiate reality from a simulation of reality. Fact and fiction become seamlessly
intertwined so much so that there is no distinct border between where one starts and the
other finishes. This idea is most often applied to the fields of virtual reality and artificial
22
intelligence, where they coalesce with physical reality and human intelligence in post-modern
societies. When one slips into the skin of their avatar, the avatar and the physical person unites
into one self. Just as a handheld tool like a cooking spatula becomes an extension of one’s
body (becoming a part of oneself), the avatar serves a similar purpose. Just as these extensions
of the self exist in reality, they also exist in the virtual. The self, whether that lies in the mind,
body, or “soul”, extends into the fingertips, which extends into the mouse, which extends into
the program where the avatar finally lies. Further, if the avatar were to enter a car or an
airplane, it also becomes an extension of the avatar — thus, becoming a part of the entire
encompassing self.
Jean Baudrillard, Paul Foss, Paul Batton, and Philip Beitchman, Simulacra and Simulation (Los Angeles, CA:
22
Semiotext(e), 1983), 2.
!20

Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius first introduced the notion of possible selves in their
1986 article in American Psychologist entitled “Possible selves.” They hypothesize that the self
23
is a malleable construct -- people act differently in different situations, they are influenced by
social roles and cues, and they have a need for self-presentation. They describe possible selves
as an individual’s theory of oneself that has to do with how people think about their potential
and future. Avatars are often used as vehicles to escape the limitations, or constraints of our
24
physical bodies. Through avatars, users are given extensive opportunities to explore their
possible selves by reconstructing their own identities and experimenting with different
identities and personas in the virtual realm. But when we reconstruct representations of the
self, do those self-representations change our behavior? As we choose or create our digital
avatars and socialize while using them, how do our new digital self-representations change
how we interact with others? In new interactive media such as virtual worlds, the malleable
nature of the self becomes even more apparent as different aspects of the self can be altered
or even concealed.
Markus and Nurius’ concept of possible selves is blended with Baudrillard’s one of
hyperreality in Micha Cárdenas’ “Becoming Dragon” project in 2009, a durational performance
in Second Life using mixed reality — the plan for this project being for the performer to live
in a mixed reality environment for a 365 hours with a dragon as an avatar. This performance
germinated from Cárdenas’ research discovering many members of online digital
Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, “Possible Selves,” in American Psychologist, no. 41 (1986), 954-969.
23
Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, “Possible Selves,” in American Psychologist, no. 41 (1986), 962.
24
!21

environments feeling more themselves in their avatar personas than they do in real life, a
narrative Cárdenas found to be parallel to the transgender experience where trans people feel
they are in the wrong body or that the gender they were assigned at birth does not mirror
their true self. In this light, virtual worlds become safe spaces where folks can find their true
25
selves, while also engaging in the construction of a self. “Becoming Dragon” stems from the
practice of transgender people having to live one full year as their chosen gender before being
eligible for gender confirmation surgery and asks if this real-world experience could be
replaced with one year of experience in Second Life. Cárdenas concludes:
What I want to say about Becoming Dragon is that I began the project by thinking of
gender as an expressive texture, a way of naming forms of bodily expression, and in
trying to imagine genders outside of male and female, many people identify their
genders as other species or other than human, bunnies, monsters, cyborgs. These are
some genders that friends of mine identify with. Given this, I wanted to ask if one
could really become one's avatar. What I discovered is that people's identifications with
their avatars in Second Life went beyond playtime fantasies. Many people deeply feel
that they can only be their “true selves” in Second Life.
26
Micha Cárdenas, Christopher Head, Todd Margolis, and Kael Greco, Becoming Dragon: a 365 Hour Mixed Reality
25
Performance in Second Life (San Diego, CA: Center for Research in Computing and the Arts, California Institute for
Telecommunications and Information Technology, University of California, San Diego, 2009), 2.
Micha Cárdenas, Christopher Head, Todd Margolis, and Kael Greco, Becoming Dragon: a 365 Hour Mixed Reality
26
Performance in Second Life (San Diego, CA: Center for Research in Computing and the Arts, California Institute for
Telecommunications and Information Technology, University of California, San Diego, 2009), 10.
!22

Possible selves “represent individuals’ ideas of what they might become, what they would like
to become, and especially what they are afraid of becoming.” Individuals usually shape a
27
concept of themselves based on their perceptions of past experiences. However, possible selves
are constructed based on representations of an individual’s past as well as a hypothetical
future (i.e. potential, desires, and goals). This concept provides a conceptual link between
cognition and motivation, connecting the understanding of one’s capability and one’s
ambition. Though different and dissociable from the current self, possible selves are intimately
linked to the individual as they represent specific and significant aspirations, fears, and
fantasies.
These possible selves are unique to each individual but are also social, meaning that
many of these possible selves are the byproduct of the moments in which an individual’s
thoughts, feelings, traits, and behaviors have been compared to those of public figures — what
someone is, I could also become. When someone examines a painting at a museum or gallery,
remarking “I could make that,” that is a possible self in the making. Whether this is true or not
does not matter as this mode of thinking is common amongst visitors of any institution of art,
and any seed of thought or belief that an individual could possibly recreate a Pollock, for
example, is the beginning of the formation of a possible self. That same individual may feel
inclined to pick up a paintbrush for the first time and attempt to emulate Jackson Pollock’s
splashes and splatters, fostering a new, burgeoning skill and setting a new future possibility
into motion. An individual has the capacity to create a wide array of various possible selves,
Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, “Possible Selves,” in American Psychologist, no. 41 (1986), 954.
27
!23

however, the pool of possible selves an individual collects is extracted from the classifications
relevant to the individual’s history, socialization, and culture. Additionally, these possible selves
may be a response to the models, images, and cultural symbols most salient to the individual’s
immediate exposure to media and social experiences. Possible selves affirm the constructive
and resourceful nature of the self, while also revealing the self as a socially determined
construction, restricted to sociocultural boundaries of the individual’s surroundings.
28
There is an aspirational aspect to the concept of possible selves that is connected to
the politics of public representation, a facet of this concept that largely affects those that
belong to minority groups. Many people base their aspirations and gauge their potential
through examples that exist in our world. At the time of the publication of Markus’ and
Nurius’ article on possible selves, the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles was a then-
relevant example case study in the context of the creation of possible selves. Their
29
conclusion was that the Olympic Games created powerful possible selves for young athletes.
They note that the performance of Carl Lewis, who won four gold medals that year, had
created many possible selves in young runners, just as how Lewis claimed to have used the
track victories of Jesse Owens, four-time gold medalist in the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin,
to create a possible self for himself. Lewis would go on to win five more gold medals in the
following Olympic Games. However, something like Derek Redmond’s tearing of his
hamstring during the 400 meter semi-final at the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona could
Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, “Possible Selves,” in American Psychologist, no. 41 (1986), 958.
28
Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, “Possible Selves,” in American Psychologist, no. 41 (1986), 955.
29
!24

have aided in the creation of a different kind of possible self — one built from fear of injury,
misfortune, or failure.
As I lie there in my bed, the room faintly illuminated by the city lights trickling through my
curtains, I wonder if this is all there is to life. The ceiling creaks to the movement of my upstairs
neighbor’s midnight pacing and the thin walls vibrate to the sound of my next door neighbor’s
television. I had plans to move but after recently losing my job at the flower shop, it’s unfeasible at this
point. I sit up with the sudden craving for a grilled cheese and promptly navigate through the darkness
of my apartment to the kitchen, a skill I’ve acquired after weeks of midnight snacking. I assemble the
sandwich (bread, butter, and a few slices of cheddar), plop them onto a pan, and flip on the gas burner.
Although I’m no cook, I can make a pretty decent grilled cheese. Quickly, I realize I spoke too soon and
the stove catches fire. The alarm goes off and I’m frozen with fear, the incessant beeping matching my
thumping heart rate. I’ve never been good under pressure. The fire spreads to the countertops and I feel
the heat lick my skin as everything begins to go ablaze. It feels like my entire world is going up in flames
and at this point, all I can do is laugh.
!25

Afterword.
As I conclude my edits to my written thesis and wrapping up my time at the University of
Southern California, the world has gone into pandemonium with the COVID-19 pandemic. With
Governor Gavin Newsom issuing the “Safer at Home” emergency order within the state of California, I
have been sitting at home longing for the outside world. Quickly forced to confront our mortality in a
way that is foreign to many, we feel very much in our bodies — every cough (whether or not related to
the virus) a memento mori. Currently, we are all facing human limitations on a global scale.
I have witnessed society turning to the virtual, moving their careers, plans, and events to digital
platforms — virtual family gatherings, company meetings, and nightclubs. In addition to conference
call platforms and video chat programs, people are also turning to virtual avatars as outlets of
communication to connect to others. These virtual worlds are aiding in making sense of the realities of
late and navigating our emotions through fantasy. With these transitions of lifestyles, I cannot help but
ponder on the possibilities of the development of a new virtual world.
The time I have been left in self-isolation has been an introspective experience. I yearn for a
world devoid of the issues we have all been faced with in our reality, one that transcends this mortal
coil. However, I do recognize I speak from a position of privilege where I am able to lock myself in and
daydream — those who cannot afford to stop working and those who work in essential fields do not
enjoy the same privilege. As my own loved ones come up against anxieties, medical issues, and financial
crises, my heart breaks because I suddenly feel so powerless and mortal.
And so while the world locks down, pride and prejudice battles against kindness and
generosity, and jobs vaporize, I return to The Sims, whose world is left unscathed, untouched, and
unmoved since the last time I loaded up the game.

P !26
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28

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Asset Metadata

Creator Lee, Paulson (author)

Core Title God mode: an exploration in aspirational living through the digital

School Roski School of Art and Design

Degree Master of Fine Arts

Degree Program Fine Arts

Publication Date 05/13/2020

Defense Date 05/12/2020

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag art,artwork,aspiration,aspirational,avatar,avatars,digital,digital art,digital influencer,fine art,identity,identity politics,IMVU,influencer,Instagram,OAI-PMH Harvest,possible self,possible selves,second life,selfies,self-representation,Sims,Sims 2,Sims 3,Sims 4,social media,social networking sites,video game,video games,virtual,Web 2.0,YouTube

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor Campbell, Andrew (committee chair), Mayerson, Keith (committee member), West, Jennifer (committee member)

Creator Email lee043@usc.edu,paulson@paulsonlee.com

Permanent Link (DOI) https://doi.org/10.25549/usctheses-c89-306225

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