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Surviving in the shadows: peering into the impact of sexual violence

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Surviving in the shadows: peering into the impact of sexual violence

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Surviving in the Shadows:

Peering into the Impact of Sexual Violence

by

Adrienne J. Lawrence

A Thesis Presented to the
FACULTY OF THE
USC ANNENBERG SCHOOL FOR COMMUNICATION AND JOURNALISM
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF ARTS
(SPECIALIZED JOURNALISM)

August 2020

Copyright 2020 Adrienne J. Lawrence

Table of Contents

Abstract iii
Body Text 1
Bibliography 8
Appendix: Website 10

Abstract

Sexual violence is endemic for women, such that navigating how to deal with it is a part
of our survival. Manifesting in many forms, sexual violence is a sexualized act that harms
another person who is limited by societal power structures. The trauma of sexual violence
changes how a survivor interacts with the world and their bodies. As they instinctively try to
cope, they oftentimes do so in unhealthy ways. On a website, this piece shares a handful of
stories, along with nude photographs of survivors who have learned to embrace their bodies post-
victimization. Every survivor has a story. All survivors need help. Unfortunately, social
resources to aid survivors of sexual violence are scarce in 2020 with the economic downturn
brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. Plus, the patriarchal society in which we live does not
prioritize ending sexual violence, as men typically are the primary perpetrators. As a result, the
structural systems in place that should aid in deterring perpetrators and advancing justice for
survivors, such as law enforcement and the courts, are ineffective. This leaves survivors with
little choice but to navigate victimization alone, to re-learn how to embrace their bodies and to
engage with this world in a healthy way, as that is the only way by which they can survive.

As a sexual assault survivor and former sexual violence counselor, I have an intimate
understanding of how the body can self-destruct in an effort to protect itself.
I was seventeen years old—the first time. The assault didnt last long but the ensuing
damage took years away from me. While others were making life-long friends and lasting
memories during their freshman year of college, my free time was spent in baggy sweatshirts and
bulky sweats, controlling everything I ate and pushing myself on the elliptical for hours at a time.
Heart palpitations and occasionally collapsing couldnt stop me. My body was coping. It was
shedding any semblance of the female form in hopes that androgyny would ward off another
assault.
My body was wrong. It also nearly killed me. The lingering effects changed everything
about me.
Given that, when I had the opportunity to do a thesis for my graduate degree in
journalism, I was moved to capture the images of women who had survived sexual violence and
its cruel aftermath, and to share their experiences.
The women I sat down with, and many of whom I subsequently photographed, were as
bold and unapologetic when sharing their stories with me as their respective assailants were in
trying to take away their dignity. Like me, these women know about survival. Like the immune
system battling the novel coronavirus, their bodies…our bodies…tried to survive in unhealthy
ways, which is typical for those overcoming sexual violence, a rather complex term.
“In my experience, defining sexual violence is a task simultaneously necessary and
nearly impossible, says Sheryl Ring, a womens rights activist and Chicago-based non-profit
attorney who often defends the indigent facing sexual violence. As Ring notes, its necessary that
we define the term as we live in a society laden with sexual violence on every level, but it is

complicated to define because society is constantly inventing new ways to sexually victimize
others (Ring 2020).
Despite its complexity, sexual violence is “a sexualized act that causes harm to another
person against whom societal power structures are wielded, explains Ring (Ring 2020). These
power structures include race, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, class, disability status,
national origin.
Sexual violence, however, doesnt require physical force; nor the overt threat of physical
force or actual sex.
“Rather, the key is whether sex – be it the act or the identity – is the lever being used to
leverage those established societal power structures for ones personal advantage, explains
Ring, who offers the example of a male landlord demanding sex from his female tenant in
exchange for rent, effectively leveraging pre-existing gender, class, and often racial dynamics to
put himself in a position of power over the tenant (Ring 2020).
In fact, since the coronavirus sparked worldwide economic downturn in March, Ring has
seen a threefold increase in complaints that landlords are using quid pro quo-ish sexual violence
against tenants.
Unlike this coronavirus, however, sexual violence is not novel. It is endemic—a natural
and enduring aspect of many individuals lives. In the U.S., for instance, an adult is sexually
assaulted every 73 seconds, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
(RAINN), which also reports that one in six women has endured rape or attempted rape in her
lifetime, as has one in 33 men (RAINN 2020).
Sexual violence manifests in many forms—whether it be sexual assault or sexually
harassing behavior. As Ring explains, “Sexual violence is the culmination of a societys entire

network of intersectional power levers being used against a person solely for who they are, a
transfer of autonomy and power from the marginalized to the privileged (Ring 2020).Said
another way, its all about power.
Whats also unique about sexual violence is that survivors need not be physically
impacted for the harm to take hold. The threat of victimization alone is powerful enough to force
the body into survival mode, to convince the host that she must adapt to survive.
Lana,1 a German five-foot-ten classically trained dancer, experienced her first memorable
“powerplay when she was fiftee n years old (Anonymous 2020). Today, eight years later, it still
haunts her.
“I remember it like it was yesterday, Lana said. The then -teenager was waiting for her
mother in a train station parking lot when a man suddenly exposed himself and sexually
propositioned her. Without thinking, Lana darted across traffic and barely escaped colliding with
cars. After that, Lana changed her appearance, hiding behind ill-fitting clothes and anything that
would conceal her form. Her problems with sexual violence, however, persisted (Anonymous
2020).
“If I dress like my brother, I get bullied… If I dress like a girl, I get harassed. What are
you supposed to do? (Anonymous 2020).
There is no answer for Lana. No magical fix will guarantee survivors safety. But the body
doesnt know that —just as it doesnt know not to ravage vital organs in the process of fighting
COVID-19. Ultimately, its all about survival.
With the economic downturn brought by COVID-19, resources for sexual violence
survivors are not surviving. Terri Poore, policy director of the National Alliance to End Sexual

1 Certain names have been changed to protect privacy.

Violence, told the ABA Journal that “close to 40% of the rape crisis centers her group surveyed
had seen increased demand for services since the outbreak, yet 89% of these programs need
funding to handle this sudden influx in requests. Poores group, along with other organizations
combatting sexual violence, has petitioned Congress for $100 million in emergency funding—
but no avail (Reynolds 2020).
“Addressing sexual violence isnt a priority to this administration, says Maytha
Alhassen, Ph.D., a professor of feminist studies and TV commentator, who explains that sexual
violence is a product of our patriarchal society (Alhassen 2020).
“Men are reared in a system of domination that has, as part of its ethos, a desire to exert
control—not just control over women but control over land and other men, she says . That drive
to dominate is so fierce that men pursue it “by any means necessary. Hence, within this belief
system, “violence is entirely acceptable, Alhassen explains (Alhassen 2020).
While approximately 90% of sexual violence is committed by men against women,
women also can be perpetrators (Black 2011).
Courtney, a Los Angeles-transplant was sexually violated at the age of seventeen by a
female friend during a high school friends party . Courtney, who was intoxicated at the time, had
passed out on the couch when she was victimized. Although she later awoke with no recollection
of the night, the now 24-year-old aspiring musician learned she had been violated after hearing
from her classmates that a video of her assault was circulating (Anonymous 2020).
Women who commit sexual violence have internalized the patriarchal mindset. As Dr.
Alhassen explains, these women are “trying to emulate the perceived control men have in a
world that values dominant power (Anonymous 2020).

Like many who endure more severe forms of sexual violence, such as sexual assault,
Courtney never filed charges against her assailant as she didnt want to endure the failings of the
criminal justice system. In fact, although sexual assault victims know their assailants in
approximately 80 percent of cases, victims report the assault to police less than a quarter of the
time, according to a 2018 Bureau of Justice Statistics survey (Department of Justice 2018).
“Sexual assaults remain one of the most under-reported, under-investigated and least
prosecuted categories of crimes, largely because the process is so traumatic for victims, often as
traumatic as the assault itself, says Rebecca Kavanagh , a social justice advocate and attorney
who spent over a decade handling sex crimes for the Brooklyn public defenders office in New
York (Kavanagh 2020).
Being on the defense, Kavanagh was situated to observe the many factors that discourage
women from pursuing justice—including police and prosecutors who are supposed to be on the
victims side.
“Women must often deal with unsympathetic, untrained police officers and detectives
who will question them about their sexual histories, how much they drink, and may be wholly
skeptical of their story, Kavanagh said, going on to explain how law enforcemen t often fail to
pursue critical leads (Kavanagh 2020).
Even with more rape victims coming forward today than in previous decades, the
clearance rate for solving rape cases is at its lowest since the 1960s (Sutton 2019, 9). In unlikely
cases when police do charge a suspect, Kavanagh says the process only gets worse for the
woman—both in and out of court (Kavanagh 2020).
In the court of public opinion, she may be forced to endure character assassinations in the
media. This can be devasting for the victim and tough for her loved ones, as her social media

posts may be weaponized against her, her past aired out for condemnation, her guilt or innocence
put on trial.
Meanwhile, in the court of law, the victim will almost always have to testify about the
assault, re-living much of the trauma in the presence of her assailant, and a room full of strangers
tasked with judging her account, recollection, veracity. Shes not without opposition, however,
as defense attorneys, like Kavanagh, are tasked with trying to dismantle the victims case.
“Unlike other cases where physical evidence or financial transactions may be at the
center, nearly all sexual assault cases come down to credibility, so a persons character is
literally on trial, Kavanagh explains. The victims effort is arduous and often for naught. “The
rate of conviction for sexual assault cases is very low, so many women regret pursuing the
cases, says the attorney (Kavanagh 2020). Indeed, a mere 0.7 percent of rapes and attempted
rapes end in a felony conviction and even less result in a prison sentence (Van Dam 2018).
The victims suffering doesnt cease when the prosecution ends (if it ever began). At least
90 percent of sexual assault victims experience distress, with nearly half enduring severe levels
of distress that appear in the short and long term (Langton and Truman 2014). This includes
depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicidality, among other ailments.
Body dysmorphia and eating disorders too are common. Bianca, a bubbly Colorado
native said she battled anorexia for years after a family friend raped her when she was fourteen.
“After he was done, he said he picked me because he liked thicker girls. Im sure you can guess
what I did after that, she said. Looking back, Bianca feels her body betrayed her by making her
believe being thin would protect her from a future assault. But she also appreciates that it was
part of her bodys coping process. “Its like youre on auto -pilot (Anonymous 2020).

Sexual violence changes you in a way that is destructive and often indescribable. A part
of you dies. Whats left learns to merely exist as fragments of the soul you once were, trapped in
a body that is yours no more.
“If they took my body from me, it must not be worth anything. That was Marias
mindset after being gang raped by five or six men in the elevator of an apartment building in
Queens, New York, when she was thirteen years old (Anonymous 2020). Maria doesnt know
exactly how many men assaulted her, as one of them smashed the elevators overhead light
moments after she entered as the doors closed.
Maria spent decades blaming herself for the assault and for the years thereafter when she
gave away her body to men, believing it to be worthless. “My sexual assault for many years
made me feel like it was my fault; like I put myself in that situation, she said. “Sex for me
became a commodity, so to speak (Anonymous 2020).
Now married and a mother of three living in a small town in Long Island, Maria still
doubts her instincts. She also worries about her daughters, hoping they will never be sexually
assaulted.
“Its hard cause you want them to grow up to avoid mistakes that can lead to long -term
consequences, Maria said. “I dont want anyone else to live the way I did, especially my kids
(Anonymous 2020).
No one should have to live like Maria did, devaluing and doubting herself. Nor should
they spend years like Courtney and Bianca, questioning who they can trust; or carry on as Lana
and I did, concealing our form. I can assure you its no way to live . For theres a reason they call
us survivors: after sexual violence, theres no life —just survival.

Bibliography

Alhassen, Maytha. Virtual interview with author, May 18, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, January 9, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, January 24, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, January 25, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 1, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 9, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 16, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 18, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 23, 2020.
Anonymous. In-person interview with author, February 29, 2020.
Anonymous. Virtual interview with author, May 17, 2020.
Avenaim, Jerry. Personal communications with author, February 19, 2020.
Black, Michele C., Kathleen Basile, Matthew J. Breiding, Sharon G. Smith, Mikel L. Walters,
Melissa T. Merrick, Jieru Chen, and Mark R. Stevens. 2011. “The National Intimate
Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA:
National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf
Bloom, Lewis. In-person interview with author, January 18, 2020.
Department of Justice. 2019. National Crime Victimization Survey, 2018. Office of Justice
Programs. Bureau of Justice Statistics.
Kavanagh, Rebecca. Virtual interview with author, May 16, 2020.

Langton, Lynn and Jennifer Truman. “Socio-economic impact of violent crime. Office of
Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics (Sept 2014)
https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/sivc.pdf
Ring, Sheryl. Virtual interview with author, May 15, 2020.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). 2020. “Victims of Sexual Violence:
Statistics. Last modified September 22, 2019. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-
sexual-violence
Reynolds, Matt. 2020. “How the COVID-19 pandemic creates obstacles for sexual assault
survivors. ABA Journal, Apr 23, 2020. https://www.abajournal.com/web/article/how-
the-pandemic-creates-obstacles-for-sexual-assault-survivors
Sutton, Halley. 2019. “Sexual assault case closure rates lowest in 50 years. Campus Security
Report 16, no. 3 (June): 9-9. https://doi.org/10.1002/casr.30535
Van Dam, Andrew. “Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions. At least 89% of victims
face emotional and physical consequences. Washington Post, Oct 6, 2018.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/10/06/less-than-percent-rapes-lead-
felony-convictions-least-percent-victims-face-emotional-physical-consequences/

Appendix

www.adriennejlawrence.com/thesis

Abstract (if available)

Abstract Sexual violence is endemic for women, such that navigating how to deal with it is a part of our survival. Manifesting in many forms, sexual violence is a sexualized act that harms another person who is limited by societal power structures. The trauma of sexual violence changes how a survivor interacts with the world and their bodies. As they instinctively try to cope, they oftentimes do so in unhealthy ways. On a website, this piece shares a handful of stories, along with nude photographs of survivors who have learned to embrace their bodies post-victimization. Every survivor has a story. All survivors need help. Unfortunately, social resources to aid survivors of sexual violence are scarce in 2020 with the economic downturn brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. Plus, the patriarchal society in which we live does not prioritize ending sexual violence, as men typically are the primary perpetrators. As a result, the structural systems in place that should aid in deterring perpetrators and advancing justice for survivors, such as law enforcement and the courts, are ineffective. This leaves survivors with little choice but to navigate victimization alone, to re-learn how to embrace their bodies and to engage with this world in a healthy way, as that is the only way by which they can survive.

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Asset Metadata

Creator Lawrence, Adrienne J. (author)

Core Title Surviving in the shadows: peering into the impact of sexual violence

School Annenberg School for Communication

Degree Master of Arts

Degree Program Specialized Journalism

Publication Date 07/14/2020

Defense Date 07/14/2020

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag Abuse,coronavirus,COVID-19,OAI-PMH Harvest,patriarchy,predators,rape,Sexual assault,sexual harassment,sexual violence,sexualized,survivors,victimization,Victims,Women

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor Pecot-Hébert, Lisa (committee chair), Dhillon, Kiran (committee member), Richardson, Allissa V. (committee member)

Creator Email adriennelawrence@me.com,ajlawrence@protonmail.com

Permanent Link (DOI) https://doi.org/10.25549/usctheses-c89-330213

Unique identifier UC11664319

Identifier etd-LawrenceAd-8678.pdf (filename),usctheses-c89-330213 (legacy record id)

Legacy Identifier etd-LawrenceAd-8678.pdf

Dmrecord 330213

Document Type Thesis

Rights Lawrence, Adrienne J.

Type texts

Source University of Southern California (contributing entity), University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses (collection)

Access Conditions The author retains rights to his/her dissertation, thesis or other graduate work according to U.S. copyright law. Electronic access is being provided by the USC Libraries in agreement with the a...

Repository Name University of Southern California Digital Library

Repository Location USC Digital Library, University of Southern California, University Park Campus MC 2810, 3434 South Grand Avenue, 2nd Floor, Los Angeles, California 90089-2810, USA