University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses

Concept mapping and describing the sources of impact on Black gay college student identity development at 4-year institutions

(USC Thesis Other)

Concept mapping and describing the sources of impact on Black gay college student identity development at 4-year institutions

PDF

Download a page range

Download transcript

Copy asset link

Request this asset

Transcript (if available)

Content
CONCEPT MAPPING AND DESCRIBING THE SOURCES OF
IMPACT ON BLACK GAY COLLEGE STUDENT IDENTITY
DEVELOPMENT AT 4-YEAR INSTITUTIONS
by
Vincent Eugene Vigil
__________________________________________________________________
A Dissertation Presented to the
FACULTY OF THE ROSSIER SCHOOL OF EDUCATION
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
DOCTOR OF EDUCATION
December 2007
Copyright 2007 Vincent Eugene Vigil

ii
DEDICATION
This dissertation is dedicated to my family. My family understood the im-
portance of an education, which resulted in my being a first-generation college
student. My friends, mentors, and the influential Student Affairs staff members
whom I have met throughout my college years will always be amazing.

iii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I thank the members of my dissertation committee: Rodney Goodyear
(Chair), Mary Andres, and Donahue Tuitt. Their support has helped me through
this process and I am eternally grateful to them. I also thank the members of my
dissertation thematic group, especially Michelle Stiles, Jane Robb, and Christopher
Eaton, for their encouragement and guidance.
I acknowledge three women in my life who, without their love, support, and
acceptance, I would not have realized my educational aspirations: my mother,
Elaine Vigil, and my two grandmothers, Josephine Estrella and Rose Vigil. I will
always appreciate them, and I thank them for their positive thoughts as I pursued
my education goals.

iv
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DEDICATION ..........................................................................................................ii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ...................................................................................... iii
LIST OF TABLES ..................................................................................................vii
LIST OF FIGURES ............................................................................................. viii
ABSTRACT ............................................................................................................ix
Chapter 1: CONCEPTUAL AND EMPIRICAL FOUNDATIONS FOR
THE STUDY........................................................................................1
Purpose of the Study.......................................................................................3
Definition of Terms ........................................................................................4
Background of the Problem............................................................................5
Review of the Literature .................................................................................7
Review of Identity Development Models.................................................8
Chickering and Reisser.......................................................................9
Erikson..............................................................................................11
Marcia...............................................................................................13
Cross .................................................................................................14
Review of Sexual Identity Development Theories.................................16
Cass...................................................................................................16
D’Augelli..........................................................................................18
Comparison of Cass and D’Augelli Models.....................................20
Coleman............................................................................................21
Troiden..............................................................................................23
Fassinger...........................................................................................24
Student Perceptions About Gay Students in College .............................25
Studies on Gay Racial Minorities...........................................................26
Rhoads ..............................................................................................27
Stevens..............................................................................................28
Eliason ..............................................................................................29
Renn and Bilodeau............................................................................30
Tremble, Schnieder, and Appathurai................................................31
Literature on the Black Gay Experience.................................................32
Icard ..................................................................................................33
Boykin ..............................................................................................33
Loiacano ...........................................................................................35
Crawford...........................................................................................37
Roberts..............................................................................................39
Richardson, Meyers, Bing, and Satz.................................................39
Herek and Capitanio .........................................................................40
A Review of Critical Incidents and Concept Mapping Methodology....41

v
Significance of the Study and Research Questions ......................................43
Chapter 2: METHOD ...........................................................................................45
Participants ...................................................................................................45
Phase One ...............................................................................................45
Phase Two...............................................................................................45
Raters............................................................................................................46
Measures.......................................................................................................46
Critical Incident Technique ....................................................................47
Paired Comparisons Questionnaire ........................................................48
Procedures ....................................................................................................48
Participant Selection...............................................................................48
Phase One .........................................................................................48
Phase Two.........................................................................................51
Measure Administration .........................................................................51
Phase One .........................................................................................51
Phase Two.........................................................................................52
Data Analysis................................................................................................52
Phase One ...............................................................................................52
Theme Development.........................................................................52
Overarching Themes.........................................................................53
Phase Two...............................................................................................53
MDS..................................................................................................54
Clustering..........................................................................................55
Chapter 3: RESULTS ...........................................................................................56
Phase One .....................................................................................................56
Categories ...............................................................................................56
Year of Occurrence.................................................................................64
Year of Occurrence.................................................................................66
Eventual Effect of Experience on Sense of Self.....................................66
Phase Two.....................................................................................................67
Research Question ..................................................................................67
Multidimensional Scaling (MDS) ..........................................................67
Hierarchical Cluster Analysis.................................................................70
Chapter 4: DISCUSSION.....................................................................................73
Findings in Relation to Research Questions.................................................73
College Experiences That Black Gay Men Perceived as Influential
on Identity ........................................................................................73
Perceived Effect of Experiences.............................................................76
Conceptual Categories of Experiences ...................................................77
Cluster Analysis......................................................................................78
Limitations of the Study ...............................................................................80
Participant Selection...............................................................................80
Validity of the Categories.......................................................................82
Directions for Future Research.....................................................................82
Implications for Practitioners .......................................................................85
REFERENCES .......................................................................................................87

vi
APPENDICES
A. IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT MODELS ...............................................92
B. SEXUAL IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT MODELS ..............................93
C. COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE.......................94
D. COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE
DEMOGRAPHIC INFORMATION .......................................................95
E. RANDOM PAIRED CATEGORY PLACEMENT CHART ..................96
F. COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE CONCEPT SIMILARITY
RATING SCALE (CSRS)........................................................................97
G. PHASE ONE PARTICIPATION EMAIL REQUEST..........................106
H. PHASE TWO PARTICIPATION EMAIL REQUEST .........................107
I. RESEARCH PROJECT INFORMATION SHEET ..............................108
J. COMBINED GROUPS SIMILARITY MATRIX.................................111
K. INCIDENTS ARRANGED BY OVERARCHING CATEGORIES.....112

vii
LIST OF TABLES
Table 1: College and University Participants ....................................................49
Table 2: Incidents Overarching Categories .......................................................65
Table 3: Dimension Values................................................................................68
Table 4: Categories in Clusters..........................................................................71

viii
LIST OF FIGURES
Figure 1: Euclidean distance model ....................................................................69
Figure 2: Dendrogram using Ward method ........................................................70
Figure 3: Concept map with named clusters.......................................................72

ix
ABSTRACT
This study examined two primary research objectives: (a) to identify the
factors that traditional-age (18- to 22-year-old) Black gay college men at 4-year
institutions perceived to have affected their identities, and (b) to determine how
Black gay college men conceptually organized those factors of impact. Phase One
of this study collected 101 experiences through the College Years Experience
Questionnaire (CYEQ) from traditional-age Black gay college men. The CYEQ
used the critical incident technique to collect written student descriptions about
particular experiences that had influenced their sense of identity. Participants were
also asked to rate their experiences on a 7-point scale to discover whether the ex-
perience was positive and uncovered the eventual effect on their sense of self. A
team of three doctoral raters identified 13 categories from the 101 experiences.
In Phase Two of the study the 13 categories were used for the Paired Com-
parison Questionnaire in which 15 students rated the similarity of each possible
pair of the 13 categories, using a scale of 1 (not at all) to 10 (very much). Using
multidimensional scaling, the Phase Two responses were further analyzed and il-
lustrated on a two-dimensional concept map that graphed the experiences for Black
gay college men. The dimensions used to plot the coordinates of the 13 categories
were named (a) External Challenges of Gay Identity versus Internal Challenges of
Gay Identity, and (b) Gay Identity Clarifications versus Gay Identity Confusion.
The hierarchical cluster analysis was used to develop five clusters to describe the
categories contained in each cluster.
The 13 categories from Phase One correlated with previous research that
addressed identity development for Black gay men and validated the results. The

x
clusters explained the support or lack of support that Black gay men receive from
their institutions. The study reviewed limitations and presented recommendations
for future research, and discussed implications for higher education practitioners.

1
CHAPTER 1
CONCEPTUAL AND EMPIRICAL FOUNDATIONS
FOR THE STUDY
College is one of the most crucial times for students because they experi-
ence positive or negative incidents that affect their identity. These experiences can
shape their future existence as individuals and can influence their political attitudes,
personal opinions, and perceptions about others. In fact, there are several identity
development theories that attempt to explain the development process for student
subgroups. The theories address how students develop their identity within particu-
lar domains and create a lens through which cognitive, affective, and behavioral
actions are filtered (Fassinger, 1998). The theories also help higher education pro-
fessionals to understand diverse student populations. However, the theories do not
report particular experiences that influenced identity, which is an important con-
sideration in understanding students.
Identity development theories interpret how student perceptions and atti-
tudes may change while in college, which explains why higher education profes-
sionals commonly use them to serve student populations. Chickering’s seven
vectors of development (Chickering, 1969), for example, comprise the most widely
applied psychosocial theory in student development because they examine personal
and interpersonal lives. The vectors are dimensions or areas of growth that help to
explain the development for college students.
A review of the development process from vector one to vector seven will
help to explain the progression for students that occurs during college. For instance,
competence (vector one) derives from an ability to cope with problems as well as to
learn how to achieve desired goals. Developing integrity (vector seven) explains the

2
equivalence among beliefs, actions, and personal values (Chickering & Reisser,
1993). Although higher education professionals may utilize Chickering’s vectors to
understand student development, it is important to consider the unique experiences
of each student. These experiences can influence development and can create de-
velopment stages or dimensions not mentioned by Chickering.
Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development comprise another psy-
chosocial theory to explain student development: oral-sensory, muscular-anal, lo-
comotor, latency, adolescence, young adulthood, middle adulthood, and maturity
(Erikson, 1959). Within each stage, the person chooses between two possible out-
comes. Each possibility challenges the person to make a choice that affects life
experiences and ultimately identity development (Evans, Forney, & Guido-DiBrito,
1998).
The adolescent stage (stage five) in Erikson theory describes that the
choices that students make can change their identity. For example, homosexual
students may choose to come out to their friends in college but not disclose their
homosexuality to their parents. The chosen resolution with this conflict can influ-
ence how they develop (Torres, Howard-Hamilton, & Cooper, 2003). The theories
of Chickering and Erikson help to explain how students may develop into their
identity while in college, but it is crucial to remember that variations exist and not
all students will progress exactly as the theories predict.
The identity development models set the groundwork to understand students
while in college, but it is important to acknowledge that experiences that students
perceive to influence their sense of self will contribute to the knowledge base of
identity development. Students have multiple identity characteristics that lead them
into different situations and, as a result, they have different experiences that shape

3
their lives (Fassinger, 1998). The identity development may not be similar for all
students, but the realization about diverse personal experiences will help to under-
stand student populations on college campuses, which initial identity development
studies may not consider.
Purpose of the Study
The purpose of this study was to describe the college experiences that influ-
ence the development of Black gay college men. Tremble, Schneider, and Ap-
pathurai (1989) wrote that gay minority youth experience hardships that are not
experienced by their friends, families, and colleagues, which can lead to negative
choices in life. Gay youth may turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with hardships.
In fact, the National Coalition for LGBT Health (2006) found that lesbian/gay/
bisexual/transgender (LGBT) people were 40% to 70% more likely to smoke than
non-LGBT people, one of the highest smoking rates affecting a subpopulation
within society. The American Cancer Society (2003) reported that tobacco kills
approximately 30,000 gay and lesbian people each year in the United States.
Tremble and other authors further urge that research about racial minorities within
the gay population is imperative to provide effective services to this population
within higher education.
In Phase One of the present study critical incident reports document the
experiences of Black gay men. The study used Flanagan’s (1954) research about
critical incident technique to collect written student descriptions about particular
experiences that influenced their development. The incidents were rated on a
continuum based on similarities and then coded to eliminate redundancies. A
workable set of conceptualized experiences emerged from the similarities and were

4
identified for further analysis. For example, involvement in gay organizations may
be a conceptualized experience that has a positive role in academic success. In all,
101 critical incident reports were collected from undergraduate Black gay college
men.
In Phase Two of the study the finalized conceptual experiences were
charted in a paired comparison questionnaire as similar categories and given to 15
students from Phase One. A paired comparison questionnaire listed the conceptual-
ized experiences and the students rated how they related to each experience, using a
scale ranging from 1 (not at all) to 10 (very much).
The student responses from the paired comparison questionnaire were
further analyzed through the clustering method to create a concept map (Tracey,
Lichtenberg, Goodyear, Claiborn, & Wampold, 2003) to uncover similar responses
from the paired comparison questionnaire and graph the similarities. This process is
called concept mapping. Tracey et al. wrote that concept mapping answers, “How
do people in general (of particular groups of people) construe some aspect of
experience?” (p. 237). This methodology is unique because it identifies the college
experiences for Black gay men that influenced their identity development.
Definition of Terms
The following terms and acronyms used in this study describe particular
subgroups within the gay community.
Bisexual refers to people who have sexual and/or romantic desire for some-
one of the opposite gender as well as those of the same gender.
Gay describes homosexual men but also includes people who have sexual
relationships with the same gender.

5
Lesbian exclusively describes homosexual females.
LGBT refers to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities.
MSM describes men who have sex with men.
Same gender loving describes people who have sexual, emotional, and
romantics desires for someone of the same gender.
Transgender is an overarching term applied to a variety of persons,
behaviors, and groups whose self-identified gender identity does not match their
assigned gender (Wikipedia, n.d.).
Background of the Problem
Although empirical research on Black gay men is limited, there is a great
deal of mainstream media focusing on the experiences of this population. The
mainstream media has recently focused on Black gay men due a fascination with
the “down low,” sparked by author J. L. King (2004). King wrote about his
experiences and those of other Black men who self-identify as heterosexual but
engage in homosexual sex. In response to King’s findings, other Black authors such
as Boykin (2005) have written that the “down low” experiences are not only a
Black male issue but are also prevalent among men and women of all racial
backgrounds.
Black Entertainment Television (BET) aired a 1-hour documentary called
“The Down Low Exposed” (Neal, King, & Hinds, 2006) that focused on the
experiences of Black men on the “down low” as well as out Black gay men. The
show featured informal conversations with these men about topics ranging from
conflicts with religion to family perceptions. The Washington Post documented
informal conversations with Black gay men about what it means to be Black and

6
gay in America today (De la Cruz & Kattar, 2006). In this online documentary
Black gay men talked about how their environment, such as the church, Black
community, and family, taught them that homosexuality was wrong, which
prevented their coming out.
The informal discussions and documentaries presented a glimpse into the
experiences that have shaped the identities of Black gay men. Neither of the men
featured were in college, and the information presented from the interviews was not
challenged by formal research. However, the men presented their own perspectives
that research should consider when researching Black gay men. For example, a
common theme was the lack of support from the family once the men came out of
the closet or as they witnessed friends and family members come out.
The Black gay community has begun to mobilize through recent Black gay
pride celebrations, Black gay literature (e.g., Boykin, 2005; Smith, 2005), Black
gay mainstream media specials (e.g., Neal et al., 2006), and the creation of the first
Black gay magazine (Clik). One can argue this mobilization as a community
requires empirical research to be aware of the needs of this rising segment of the
gay population. The Black gay population is growing and wants recognition in
society, which can lead to representation on college campuses. For higher educa-
tion professionals to provide adequate services for Black gay men, more empirical
research is needed.
Empirical research about Black identity development exists through
different models (e.g., Cross, 1971, 1978; Phinney, 1990) but these researchers
have neglected to explain particular experiences that affect identity development.
This study presents the experiences that directly influence identity. For example,
Cross’s (1978) nigresence model of Black identity development explored how

7
Black people encompass Afrocentric ideals and, as a result, are against the
dominant White culture. The Black gay experience is omitted from Cross’s
explanation of Black experiences, even though Cross attempted to describe the
psychological and behavioral characteristics determined by Black experiences with
societal oppression (Torres et al., 2003).
The empirical research about Black identity development models (e.g.,
Cross, 1971, 1978; Phinney, 1990), gay identity development models (e.g., Cass,
1979, 1984; D’Augelli, 1991a, 1991b; Fassinger, 1998; Troiden, 1993), and Black
gay men (e.g., Crawford, 2002) do not address the unique experiences that influ-
ence the lives for Black gay college men. This lack of research is an omission in the
literature because these people may experience additional hardships because they
are perceived as a double minority. One can argue that the oppression of Black gay
men is greater and that these unique experiences are important to explore in future
research. It can also be argued that higher education professionals can benefit from
further research on Black gay men to learn how to work with these people.
Review of the Literature
In the literature about college student development, researchers and
theorists consistently refer to student identity development models such as
Chickering’s seven vectors. Chickering’s theory and similar theories are sources
that foreshadow what this study may uncover from the concept mapping process.
For example, the critical incident reports may describe similarities resembling
Chickering’s vectors and dimensions about development. In addition, understand-
ing previous research and theories can lead to relevant implications for further
research.

8
This literature review incorporates mainstream media attention and popular
reviews about the personal experiences for Black gay men, as well as formal
research literature. An analysis of personal perspectives of Black gay men can
explain how students develop racial and sexual identity. A review of existing gay
identity development theories serves as a basis to explain the commonly used
presumptions about gay students in higher education. It is important to examine the
critiques of the existing theories and research to discover and understand the
experiences of Black gay students.
Although the empirical research describing the experiences of Black gay
college men is limited, this review presents the little extant research about the
Black gay population. Due to the lack of research, facts and perceptions about
Black gays in mainstream media are presented. This review also includes a descrip-
tion of the methods used for this study (i.e., critical incidence and concept mapping
techniques).
Review of Identity Development Models
For this study it is important to review a few identity development models
because they serve as a basis of reference as this study explores student experi-
ences. For example, experiences revealed in the study’s critical incident reports
may resonate with the stages in the development models. The development theories
suggest that students develop new identities in college due to their exposure to
diverse opinions and perspectives. A few identity development models are provided
and offer additional information about the theories, including particular steps
within the models.

9
Chickering and Reisser
Chickering and Reisser (1993) wrote about seven vectors or dimensions of
development to explain the development of students throughout college. A
student’s thought and decision-making process stimulate progression through the
seven vectors. Without stimulation, a student cannot move forward to another
vector but instead may move backward through the vector progression process
(Chickering & Reisser). The seven vectors are (a) developing competence,
(b) managing emotions, (c) moving through autonomy toward interdependence,
(d) establishing identity, (e) developing mature relationships, (f) developing
purpose, and (g) developing integrity (Evans et al., 1998).
The achieving competence (vector one) is important because students
establish coping strategies and develop competency. Chickering (1969) cited that
Within vector one there are three types of competencies for students: (a) intellectual
competence, (b) physical and manual skills, and (c) interpersonal competence.
These competencies reflect the student’s readiness to make decisions, move
forward with actions, and establish consequences that affect development. For
example, the competencies create changes in the student’s life that influence
identity development and help to navigate through the other vectors (Pascarella &
Terenzini, 1991). As students create competency, they develop their identity.
The managing emotions (vector two) dimension addresses a student’s
ability to manage key emotions and broaden the range of emotions. For instance,
students manage their emotions when debating an opposite viewpoint in a
classroom discussion and will broaden their emotions when engaging in an
intellectual dialogue with opposing viewpoints.

10
Moving through autonomy toward interdependence (vector three) describes
how students examine their independence and interdependence. An example may
be that students disengage from parental guidance and make their own decisions.
The establishing identity (vector four) dimension addresses how students
come to terms with multiple identities. such as sexual orientation and racial
identification. For instance, students who have reached this vector may come to
terms with their homosexuality and proclaim their homosexual identity to others.
The students have experienced many significant changes that have helped to
establish their current identification, but this development will continue throughout
their lifetime.
Chickering’s developing mature relationships (vector five) may help to
understand gay students because the students’ interpersonal relationships may
change as they identify with their same-gender attractions. For instance, peers may
not accept the students’ gay friends due to their homosexuality and, as a result, the
gay students may need to seek out new friendships. Chickering wrote that increas-
ing student diversity requires that students develop tolerance to establish intimate
relationships. If students are unsuccessful in creating tolerance, it becomes more
difficult for them to develop substantial interpersonal relationships (Pascarella &
Terenzini, 1991).
Tolerance levels may be important considerations in reviewing experiences
of Black gay men because they may experience a lack of tolerance in college that
can be difficult to handle. The 2005 National School Climate Survey for the K-12
education system revealed that 75.4% of students had frequently or often heard
derogatory remarks such as “faggot” or “dyke” at school (Kosciw & Diaz, 2005).
One can argue that the reported intolerance on high school campuses may also be

11
prevalent on a college campus. This may build extra anxieties in college and Black
students may turn to self-destructive behaviors to overcome anxiety. For example,
the climate survey found that LGBT students were 5 times more likely than the
general population to skip school because of safety concerns.
In addition to establishing tolerance, students develop a purpose (vector six)
for themselves that will guide their life choices in a more specific direction. An
illustration may be that students ask themselves ,”Who am I going to be?” rather
than, “Who am I?” Students begin an internal search to find purpose in their lives,
such as vocational interests and aspirations.
In developing integrity (vector seven), students create their own values and
beliefs system to guide further life choices. Students make decisions based on their
belief system (Chickering & Reisser, 1993). In fact, Chickering and Reisser argued
that, within vector seven, students are compelled to reexamine their identity due to
incidents that they may experience, and the challenge becomes whether the students
maintain their integrity.
Erikson
Another theorist whose research may aid in understanding the experiences
of Black gay men is Erikson (1959), who developed one of the best-known theories
of personality. Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development describes the impact
of social experiences across the lifespan. This theory is crucial to understand as this
study moves forward to explore the experiences of Black gay men in college. One
of the main characteristics about this theory is ego identity formation. Ego identity
is the self-representation that people have of themselves.

12
The ego identity represents a connection to the psychological health of a
person; for example, a person’s ego must achieve integrating functions in order for
that person to establish a stable identity. The lack of a stable identity represents a
failure to achieve ego identity, which results in ego diffusion. It is important to
acknowledge that ego identity is largely unconsciously determined and, as a result,
is difficult to measure.
Each stage in Erikson’s theory contains two possible outcomes in that
people make a choice, and due to the choice, become competent to handle particu-
lar situations. Some people can progress through the theory and some can remain
the same. Erikson’s eight stages are (a) oral-sensory (trust versus mistrust),
(b) muscular-anal (autonomy versus shame and doubt), (c) locomotor (initiative
versus guilt), (d) latency (industry versus inferiority), (e) adolescence (identity
versus role confusion), (f) young adulthood (intimacy versus isolation), (g) middle
adulthood (generativity versus stagnation), and (h) maturity (ego integrity versus
despair; Schultz & Schultz, 1987). People feel confident about themselves and have
a sense of mastery if they continue to progress through each stage. However, a
person who does not progress will feel a sense of disappointment and may feel a
sense of inadequacy. In Erikson’s view, these conflicts are centered on either
developing a psychological quality or failing to develop that quality (Pascarella &
Terenzini, 1991). The stages depict an entire life, from infancy to maturity.
Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development explains the competencies
that people develop as they progress through life and make choices that influence
how they develop. Erikson’s work may foreshadow findings for Black gay men.
Although this study reviewed actual experiences that influenced identity develop-
ment, psychosocial development is important to understand.

13
Marcia
Erikson wrote about psychosocial development spanning from childhood
through mature adulthood (Torres et al., 2003). In Erikson’s adolescence stage
(fifth stage), adolescences develop their sense of their identity. However,
adolescents still struggle with internal questions that affect their development.
Adolescents may have questions about who they are and their role in the world,
such as what they want to do when they grow up. James Marcia (1966) focused on
this adolescence stage and explored development along two dimensions: explora-
tion and commitment (Pascarella & Terenzini, 1991). Marcia used these two
dimensions to assign people to their identity. The commitment dimension focuses
on the decisions that adolescents make that can result in “stability, continuity, and
comfort” (p. 24). The exploration dimension describes the decisions that ado-
lescents make, but for this study the dimension can be used to mark the decisions
that students make while in college. This exploration dimension may resonate with
gay students because these students make a decision to affirm their homosexual
identity.
Marcia (1966) addressed the dimension as well as other aspects of identity
development relating to the dimension with his identity status model. The stages
in this model are (a) diffusion, (b) foreclosure, (c) moratorium, and (d) identity
achievement. In diffusion (stage one) the person has not explored or committed to
life goals. In the foreclosed identity (stage two) the person becomes committed to
goals after exploring opportunities. In the moratorium (stage three) the person
remains in a state of exploration and, as a result, has not committed to a goal. In
achieved identity (stage four) the person makes a commitment to a goal or goals.

14
Marcia’s diffusion and moratorium stages describe how people search for
identity by trying to find answers in life. People often remain uncommitted to a
goal to continue their search for answers in the diffusion and moratorium stages,
but in foreclosure and achievement stages they are committed to a goal.
In the moratorium stage people may experience a crisis, which triggers
them to search for a meaning for their existence (Pascarella & Terenzini, 1991).
Possible examples are gay students who may realize that they have same-gender
attractions and, as a result, begin to find meaning associated with their same-gender
attractions. Through this search for meaning, identity further develops.
Cross
The Cross (1971) model of psychological nigrescence is the most cited
model of racial identity development; it reveals the developmental process for
Black men. The model describes Black identity through five sequential stages that
are reactionary to the social and environmental circumstances: (a) pre-encounter,
(b) encounter, (c) immersion-emersion, (d) internalization, and (e) internalization-
commitment.
In the pre-encounter stage Blacks believe that racism is abolished and
society is oblivious to skin color. Blacks consider themselves color blind in this
stage. Encounter (stage two) is triggered by a positive or negative event that occurs
due to their skin color. If the event is negative, the encounter can force them to
become conscious about racism and ponder how racism influences their lives. They
may view themselves as a target for racism. The immersion and emersion stage
(stage three) occurs in two simultaneous phases in which people explore their
Black culture and develop a positive self-concept. In this stage Blacks begin to

15
explore social networks within the Black community and develop distrust for the
White community due to their recent encounter with racism (Pascarella &
Terenzini, 1991). In this stage some Blacks actively explore their own history,
culture, and family background. In internalization (stage four) Blacks develop a
positive opinion about the Black culture and integrate this new affirmation into
their existence. As a result, they achieve inner security and self-confidence with
their Blackness and are able to establish relationships with Whites. In internaliza-
tion and commitment (stage five) Blacks continue their involvement with the Black
community and view their ongoing support as helping to advance the Black
community.
The Cross model serves as a reference to understand what it means to be
Black and how people develop a Black identity. Black gay men in the immersion-
emersion stage, for example, may question their understanding of being Black and
gay (Pascarella & Terenzini, 1991). A racist experience in the gay community may
lead a Black gay man to re-evaluate how he identifies with the gay community.
This lack of support can also be true for homophobia experienced in the Black
community.
Cross’s developmental model provides useful information to assist with
critical incidents because some incidents may describe some of the above men-
tioned stages. For example, the incidents may describe similar attributes described
in these models, and perhaps the categories will correlate with the stages. Appendix
A presents the identity development model proposed by Cross and other theorists
(e.g., Chickering & Reisser, 1993; Cross; 1971; Erikson, 1959; Marcia, 1966).

16
Review of Sexual Identity Development Theories
Higher education professionals refer to psychosocial sexual identity
development models (e.g., Cass, 1979; Coleman, 1985; D’Augelli, 1991a;
Fassinger, 1998; Troiden, 1993) to explain the development process for gay and
lesbian persons. Reviews of the theories are relatable to the experiences of this
study’s participants. For instance, some of the categories developed from the
critical incident reports may resemble stages from gay student development
theories. The literature about development for gay men can assist in interpreting
experiences for Black gay men. This section provides a brief description of gay
student development theories as well as additional comparisons and contradictions
between the theories.
Cass
A majority of research about gay student development utilizes the work of
Cass (1979, 1984). In fact, the Cass model is the founding theory about homo-
sexual identity development and, as a result, it serves as the foundation for many
theorists. It is also used to educate higher education professionals about gay and
lesbian college students. Although Cass’s model is one of the oldest dealing with
sexual identity development, the progressive stages still have relevance in under-
standing homosexual student experiences.
The Cass stages are (a) identity confusion, (b) identity comparison,
(c) identity tolerance, (d) identity acceptance, (e) identity pride, and (f) identity
synthesis. The stages take into account “the significance of both psychological and
social factors” (Cass, 1979, p. 220) for the individual. It is crucial to understand
that the Cass model is based on two assumptions: (a) One acquires identity through

17
development processes, and (b) one’s behaviors are a result of interactions with
others and their environments (Cass, 1979).
In identity confusion (first stage) people begin to question their sexuality
and discover that they have same-gender attractions. They internally acknowledge
their homosexual thoughts but do not share this revelation with others. In identity
comparison (stage two) they begin to recognize differences from their heterosexual
counterparts. They may feel conflicted to seek interactions with other homosexuals.
In identity tolerance (stage three) they begin to tolerate their homosexuality but
remain unsure as to whether they want to interact with other homosexuals. A gay
student, for instance, who develops friendships with other homosexuals may
experience negative reactions from others, such as friends and families, due to
his/her homosexual friends. The negative comments may affect the person’s
comfort with his/her own homosexuality. In identity acceptance (stage four),
people accept their homosexual identity and begin to tell a few selected people.
They share this information only with people whom they trust and do not volun-
tarily reveal this information to others. At this stage they begin to interact with
other homosexuals and may decide to act on their homosexual feelings. Gay
students, for instance, may go to a LGBT social event to interact with other gay
students. In identity pride (stage five) they are proud of their homosexuality and
choose to interact only with homosexual people and not with heterosexuals. They
completely emerge themselves in the gay community; for example, they may move
to a gay residential area and associate only with gay friends. Synthesis (stage six)
describes how people are comfortable in telling others, regardless of their sexual
orientation, about their homosexuality and enjoy interacting with all people,
regardless of their sexual identity.

18
In the final stage gay students become more comfortable in interacting with
their heterosexual counterparts (Cass, 1979). For example, they begin to form
friendships and alliances with heterosexual people. In this stage they may want to
contribute to the campus LGBT community and serve as a mentor for other gay
students who are struggling with their homosexuality. They may choose to become
leaders in their campus LGBT organizations to implement changes to help other
gay and lesbian students (Evans et al., 1998).
The Cass model explains the experiences of homosexuals throughout their
lifetime. In the final stage gay people become comfortable with their own homo-
sexual identity. The Cass stages are linear because people are allowed to progress
from one stage to another in a hierarchical order. According to Cass, people cannot
move backward along the stages nor revisit previous stages. Cass’s stages are
important for gay and lesbian researchers because they explain behaviors in certain
stages of life.
D’Augelli
D’Augelli (1991a, 1991b) presented another homosexual identity develop-
ment model to explain how people navigate through their sexual identity develop-
ment and their self-identity. D’Augelli’s six stages are (a) exiting heterosexual
identity, (b) developing a personal lesbian/gay/bisexual identity, (c) developing a
lesbian/gay/bisexual social identity, (d) becoming lesbian/gay/bisexual offspring,
(e) developing a lesbian/gay/bisexual intimacy status, and (f) entering a lesbian/
gay/bisexual community (1991a). In this theory people are able to move from one
stage to another, either in or out of chronological order, contrary to Cass’s model.

19
The exiting heterosexual identity (stage one) is the point at which people
realize their same-gender attractions. In developing a personal lesbian/gay/bisexual
identity (stage two), they develop a lesbian/gay/bisexual identity. In developing a
lesbian/gay/bisexual social identity (stage three) they begin to explore homosexual
community networks and friendships. Furthermore, the lesbian/gay/bisexual
offspring (stage three) explains how they decide to tell their friends and family
members about their homosexual identity and, as a result, deal with the ramifica-
tions of this disclosure. For example, friends and family members may not accept a
person’s new identity declaration of being homosexual and consequently decide not
to associate with the person. In developing a lesbian/gay/bisexual intimacy status
(stage four) they develop intimate same-gender relationships but find the invisi-
bility of same-gender relationships frustrating. In stage five, entering a lesbian/gay/
bisexual community, they become active in the homosexual community.
It is important to mention that the key factors in the formation of identity
are the unique and individualized experiences that can influence the development
process. The experience can be detrimental as people navigate through these stages.
For example, people bring forth their own perceptions and feelings about sexuality
that their family teaches to them, which can drastically affect their coming out
process. A student may choose to come out to friends while away at college but
choose not to tell parents. Such students are developing internally about their
sexuality and externally with friends but not with family. These limitations can
affect development within the stages.

20
Comparison of Cass and D’Augelli
Models
The D’Augelli model is different from the Cass model because D’Augelli’s
stages are fluid and Cass’s stages are linear. One can argue that a linear sexual
identity model limits the development progression for homosexuals because it does
not present flexibility. For example, students may come to terms with their homo-
sexuality but, after some time, they can become confused about their gay identity.
Practically, confused students will not move forward with development and will
instead move backward. They will return to the identity confusion stage in Cass’s
model, but the model does not explain situations in which students can return to a
previous stage. The D’Augelli model explains that students can move back and
forth within the stages. Evans et al. (1998) classified the D’Augelli model as
developmental plasticity due to its flexibility throughout the stages.
The D’Augelli model explains that external factors, such as social networks
and environmental settings for gay students, affect their development. D’Augelli’s
model suggests that sexual development is responsive to the environment.
D’Augelli clearly articulates the concept of influential environments but Cass
neglects to emphasize its importance. Instead, one can argue that Cass explains the
internal emotions and challenges through which people go while they develop but
does not consider how the environment can modify the development process. The
environment can include life changes, social networks, and personal relationships.
For example, negative reactions by family and friends to a gay person’s coming out
can hinder that person’s identity development.
D’Augelli elaborated that external relationships with family, friends, and
colleagues can influence identity development (Bilodeau & Renn, 2005). The
D’Augelli model explains that people shape their identity to coexist with their

21
already established environmental context. For example, students attending a
religion-affiliated college may not come out to all friends on campus but do so only
with selected people. Instead, the Cass model suggests that the environment shapes
the person. For example, people may come out later in life to parents because they
are not dependent on their parents and are removed from their parents’ financial
support. As a result, the environmental context has changed and they feel more
comfortable to share their gay identity with their parents. Even though the theories
are different, each supports the idea that external factors create unique experiences.
Coleman
Although the Cass and D’Augelli models explain gay identity development,
it is important to explore alternative perspectives. Coleman (1985) created a model
to educate psychotherapists about interactions with gay clients. This model is also
useful for higher education professionals who work with gay students. The
Coleman model has similar progressive stages to those of Cass and D’Augelli to
explain the emersion of same-gender attractions. Coleman’s five-stage model
includes (a) pre-coming out, (b) coming out, (c) exploration, (d) first relationships,
and (e) identity integration.
In pre-coming out (stage one) gay people are not conscious of their same-
gender attractions because they have strong resistance against their unwanted
sexual attractions. They feel different from others but do not know why they are
different. The coming out stage (stage two) explains how they become conscious or
semiconscious of their same-gender attractions and, as a result, they begin to share
this realization with a selected group of people. They are still somewhat confused
about homosexual identity. In exploration (stage three) they begin to interact with

22
other homosexuals and develop a better self-image. In the first relationships stage
(stage four) they develop relationships based on their physical and emotional
attractions. In the final stage, identity integration (stage five), they merge their
private homosexual identity with their public image and are satisfied with being
homosexual in public. They also feel comfortable to tell others about their sexual
orientation.
Coleman’s model is similar to D’Augelli’s model in that Coleman’s stages
are fluid. Students do not experience the stages in a chronological order but rather
can move among the stages. In addition, Coleman argues that people may work
within multiple stages simultaneously. For instance, their identification can be at
the coming out stage and at the same time at the first relationships stage (Coleman,
1985).
Coleman’s pre-coming out stage is similar to Cass’s identity confusion
stage because in both stages gay people are not completely aware of their same-
gender attractions. This confusion about their attractions can lead them to develop
negative attitudes associated with their same-gender feelings. Coleman wrote that
conflicted gay people might have “behavioral problems, psychosomatic illnesses,
suicidal attempts, or various symptoms” (1985, p. 33). Such destructive behavior
can influence identity development in gay students. In fact, these negative
responses may detour students from acknowledging their gay identity, which will
present additional problems to hinder development. The present study reviews
experiences that may or may not correspond with Coleman’s assertions.

23
Troiden
Troiden’s (1993) homosexual formation model is based on research by
Cass. The stages are (a) sensitization, (b) identity confusion, (c) identity assump-
tion, and (d) commitment. Sensitization (stage one) occurs in early adolescence
when gay people become aware that they are different from peers due to their
same-gender attractions. These people may feel marginalized for being different
from their peers. In identity confusion (stage two) they struggle with their homo-
sexual feelings and experience inner turmoil about their sexual identity. Identity
assumption (stage three) describes a stage at which they begin to self-identify with
their same-gender attractions and declare their homosexuality to others. In commit-
ment (stage four) they accept their same-gender attractions and become committed
to a homosexual lifestyle. At this stage they are content but external factors can still
challenge the commitment to the gay identity (Troiden).
The external environmental settings can play a major role in identity
development because gay people may or may not disclose their gay identity based
on possible responses from certain people. Troiden classified homosexual identity
into three dimensions: (a) a self-identity, (b) a perceived identity, (c) a presented
identity, or all three (Troiden, 1993).
The homosexual identity is a self-identity when people see themselves as
homosexual in relation to romantic and sexual settings. It is a perceived
identity in situations where people think or know others view them as
homosexual. It is a presented identity when people present or announce
themselves as homosexual in concrete social settings. (p. 194)
Gay people may feel comfortable to disclose their gay identity in one
setting but not in another. They may not feel comfortable sharing their gay identity
at a religious group meeting because they fear rejection from the group. For
example, a Black student raised in a Baptist religious background may choose not

24
to disclose his or her homosexuality at a Baptist student organization meeting
because peers at the meeting may not accept homosexuality due to their religious
opinions.
Many homosexual identity development researchers view the final stages in
most of the above mentioned models as self-identification as homosexual (Eliason,
1996). Progression to this identity can be difficult because gay people need to
become comfortable with their gay identity. Eliason found that people with gender-
atypical behavior (i.e., behavior associated with the opposite gender) were more
likely to recognize their homosexual identities at an earlier age than those with
more gender-typical behavior (i.e., behavior associated with their gender). For
example, a male who has feminine characteristics is likely to come to terms with
his homosexuality earlier in life than a male with masculine characteristics.
Fassinger
Fassinger (1998) explored sexual identity development as it relates to group
membership identification. Fassinger’s model is inclusive of demographics and
racial differences among homosexuals. The model mentions the differences
associated with coming out by members of racial groups. For example, it may be
difficult for students with Black backgrounds to disclose their homosexuality to the
family due to the hypermasculinity associated with being a Black male.
The Fassinger model includes (a) awareness, (b) exploration, (c) deepening/
commitment, and (d) internalization/synthesis. Each phase corresponds to the
feelings and actions that happen internally with a person as well as the develop-
ments for external group membership identification. In awareness (phase one) gay
people discover that others have sexual orientations that are different from theirs. In

25
exploration (phase two) they begin to explore their same-gender attractions.
Deepening/commitment (phase three) occurs when they develop deeper under-
standings about their gay identity and, as a result, become committed to gay
identity. In internalization/synthesis (phase four) they have fully accepted gay
identity and they express their identity to others.
The external group identifications address how gay students may interact in
various group settings. For example, Black gay students may act differently in a
group setting with other Black people than in a gay setting. Most of the other
models do not consider racial dynamics. The group dynamic explanation is helpful
in examining the experiences of Black gay college men. Appendix B presents the
stages proposed by Fassinger and the other theorists (e.g., Cass, 1979, 1984;
D’Augelli, 1991a, 1991b; Troiden, 1993) in which gay students develop their
identities.
Student Perceptions About Gay Students in College
For the current study it is important to examine student attitudes toward gay
men. Student attitudes about gay peers may contribute to influential experiences for
gay students. In Engstrom and Sedlacek’s (1997) study participants who identified
as African American expressed a more negative attitude toward gay men and
lesbians than did other racial groups. The study randomly sampled about 224
heterosexual students at a large southeastern university, and only 18 participants
identified as African American. Male students expressed more homophobic feel-
ings than their female counterparts. The heterosexual men were uncomfortable with
the mere suggestion of situations involving gay men, such as being invited to a gay
bar, seeing two gay men hold hands, or even working with a gay class member on a

26
project. The men also stated that they would not be happy if a male sibling were
gay. However, in a contrary discovery, the participants expressed their outrage
against physical assaults or hate crimes attacking gay students.
Herek and Capitanio (1995) reported that respondents who indicated that
they knew at least one gay person possessed more positive attitudes about gay men
than did respondents who did not know a gay person. One can assume that the
more accepting the study body is toward gay people, the more positive experiences
gay students may experience on campus. Although students enter the university
with their own presumptions about gay people, the university may provide educa-
tional opportunities to promote tolerance and acceptance. It will be significant to
investigate the ways in which Black gay students indicate that campus experiences
have influenced their identity development.
Studies on Gay Racial Minorities
To understand the student critical incident reports, it is important to review
previous studies about gay racially diverse people. The previous studies may be
similar to the findings from this study. Although there is little literature on racially
diverse gays, the studies reviewed in this section have substantial findings relatable
to Black gay men.
A few models deal with gay identity development simultaneously with
racial identity development. As a result, some valuable information is absent from
studies that address gay identity development. Black gay men, for instance, may
develop differently than White counterparts due to their multiple identities. This
section highlights findings about racially diverse gay people.

27
Rhoads
Rhoads (1997) studied the experiences of gay and bisexual students at a
large research university in a 2-year ethnographic study. He interviewed about 40
males who were gay, bisexual, and in the closet. (The term in the closet refers to
persons who have not publicly made their homosexuality known to others.) From
interviews and observations Rhoads discovered commonalities in their experiences
that influenced their identity development while in college. The commonalities
included coming out, visibility, and issues of harassment and discrimination.
Many of the participants explained that the coming out process had drastic-
ally changed their lives because they had acknowledged their homosexuality and
told others. As a result, peers and friends on campus had changed how they inter-
acted with their “out” gay friend. Participants reported discrimination and homo-
phobia from people on campus, which affected how they felt about safety and
social relationships with other campus members.
Rhoads merely explained and described the experiences that the gay
students experienced on campus. It is unfortunate that this study neglected to cite
the racial demographics of the participants because it would have been helpful to
review how the experiences of racially diverse students differed from those of
White students. For instance, racial demographics could have shown whether
discrimination was highly experienced by diverse gay students versus White
students. Although the particular experiences of racially diverse students were not
blatantly mentioned, the study identified key concepts experienced by gay college
men at a large research university. The present study about Black gay men also
uses large research universities. In fact, it may be discovered that Rhoads’s three

28
commonalities (coming out, visibility, and issues of harassment and discrimination)
may be similar experiences for the Black gay men used in this study.
Stevens
Stevens (2004) wrote about critical incidents in college that influenced gay
identity for students in the college environment. Stevens interviewed 11 self-
identified gay college men. Stevens discovered the different experiences for
racially diverse gay students, which is helpful for the present study about Black gay
men.
Stevens found that the level of acceptance of gay students on each college
campus had a major influence on gay identity development for the participants. The
acceptance levels, for example, predicted how and when gay students chose to
disclose their homosexuality to others on campus. Stevens found that the accept-
ance levels among peers and family influenced development. For instance, students
with high anxiety to disclose their homosexuality to family members had delayed
success in college (Stevens, 2004). The anxiety to disclose their gay identity to the
family affected their work in college.
Stevens (2004) found that the racially diverse students had different
experiences than their White counterparts, which was different as they came to
terms with gay identity. For instance, Stevens found that racially diverse students
felt rejection from both the gay community and racial minority communities on
campus. The gay minority students had higher feelings of isolation due to lack of
support and rejection from both communities. Stevens found that identity develop-
ment was different for racially diverse gay men because they had to deal with two
hardships: homophobia from their racial communities and racism from the gay

29
community. “For men of color, racist attitudes complicated their developmental
process because they often had to maneuver through homophobic tendencies in
racial communities and racial prejudice in gay communities” (p. 202). Stevens
presented a new validation for future research about racially diverse gay men in
their racial and gay identity development simultaneously affecting their develop-
ment.
It is important to acknowledge Stevens’s study because, unlike the standard
gay identity development models, he acknowledged the complications for racially
diverse gay men. Some studies and theories categorize all gay participants in a
homogeneous subgroup where racial identity is not an issue, but Stevens argued
that racial demographics is a major issue that affects development. Stevens’s
findings validate the student population used for this study, Black gay college men,
because their experiences in college are unique and important to recognize.
Eliason
Eliason (1996) addressed the importance of acknowledging the difference
in experiences of racially diverse gay students. After reviewing sexual identity
development models (e.g., Cass, 1979; D’Augelli, 1991a, 1991b; Troiden, 1993)
and gay-related studies, Eliason discovered a gap in the research about racially
diverse gays, noting that a majority of the research involved White, middle class,
and well-educated men. Eliason wrote that these models and studies were biased
because they did not present the dissimilar experiences of racially diverse gays.
Eliason argued that existent gay identity development models and studies do not
resonate for racially diverse gay people. The present study challenges Eliason’s

30
argument as the experiences of Black gay college men are revealed through the
critical incident reports.
Renn and Bilodeau
Renn and Bilodeau (2005a, 2005b) wrote about the hardships that racially
diverse gays may deal with in their development. They termed the identification
with a racial and gay identity as a dual identity. Renn and Bilodeau explored two
factors that affect racially diverse gays: student involvement and mentorship. Both
of these factors had a positive effect on identity development in racially diverse
gays.
Renn and Bilodeau (2005a, 2005b) analyzed factors that affect gay students.
They found that racially diverse gays had difficulty in connecting with their racial
communities and organizations on campus. For example, two participants in their
study explained similar experiences. The participants found it difficult to identify
with their racial communities due to preconceived notions (e.g., stereotypes and
presumptions) about gay people. As a result, the racially diverse gay students had
peers from their racial communities who did not want to associate with them
because of their personal prejudices about gay people.
Renn and Bilodeau’s (2005a, 2005b) study confirmed that students of color
experienced difficulties in finding acceptance among gay and racial communities.
This lack of acceptance may be an incident that Black gay men experience while in
college, which is why reviewing Renn and Bilodeau’s study is important. The
findings suggest that additional research about racially diverse gay students is
needed to understand personal experiences in college and provide adequate support.

31
Tremble, Schnieder, and
Appathurai
Tremble et al. (1989) investigated how racial identity affects the develop-
ment of gay young people as well as the how this dual identity affects their fami-
lies. They identified three areas of concern for racially diverse gays: (a) coming out
to family members, (b) support networks to rise above racism in the gay com-
munity, and (c) difficulties in balancing gay and racial identities. They interviewed
10 young people between the ages of 16 and 21 to explore their relationships with
parents and discover other cultural norms among their racial identities. The goal of
the study was to discover how social stigmas of cultural structures and mainstream
society affected the coming out process for the gay participants.
For the first identified area, coming out to family members, participants
presented similar experiences and feelings that existed when they knew they were
gay. For example, a majority of the participants discussed that once they admitted
their same-gender attractions to themselves, they had a high anxiety to disclose
their gay identity to their families. The researchers concluded that racially diverse
gay participants were in constant conflict with themselves, their families, and their
cultures.
Moreover, the study cited struggles that the participants experienced with
regard to their families. The participants confessed that their parents were often
confused about what it meant to identify as gay and the parents blamed mainstream
society for the child’s gay identity. The racially diverse gay participants also
explained that their parents assumed that being gay was a White characteristic
because they did not know any people from their racial community who were gay.
However, many of the racially diverse gay participants described that, as time
passed, their parents became accepting of their gay identity and loved them.

32
The second identified area indicated that racially diverse student partici-
pants developed support networks to rise above racism in the gay community.
Participants explained that it was difficult to find visible gay role models from their
own racial group. The lack of role models suggests that racially diverse gay
students struggle to find a sense of belonging and, as a result, find it difficult to
balance their gay and racial identities because they lack mentorship. The third area
identified in this study explained the difficulties in balancing gay and racial
identities because racially diverse students lacked mentors and a support network.
Tremble et al. (1989) concluded found that racially diverse gay students had
more difficulty in attaining acceptance by family and peers than did their White
counterparts. However, each family unit is unique and may react differently to a
child’s gay identity. The reaction by family and peers is an experience that influ-
ences identity development of students because positive and negative reactions
from the family affect the students’ choices and decisions in college. For example,
if the family disowns the child financially and emotionally due to homosexuality,
the hardships for the student may affect academic success and the student may have
to leave college.
The studies cited in this section describe the possible experiences for
racially diverse gay students that may be found in the critical incident categories for
this study. For example, racially diverse gay students are in conflict with their gay
and racial identity, which can have an adverse effect on their identity development.
Literature on the Black Gay Experience
The literature that describes the experiences of Black gay men is limited.
Therefore, this section’s research borrows from popular literature that shares the

33
opinions, experiences, and perceptions about Black gay people. The empirical
research presents studies that represent specific circumstances for gay persons who
are Black. This section does not include empirical research that describes specific
Black gay experiences while in college because such research does not exist. Each
study is relevant because it exposes circumstances with which Black gay men may
deal, such as social stigmas, discrimination, homophobia, and health precautions.
Icard
Icard (1986) wrote about his own observations in dealing with oppression of
Black gay men. He asserted that Black gay men experience homophobia from the
Black community and racism from the gay community. Icard contended that White
counterparts in the gay community perpetuate racist attitudes, while the Black
community is dominated by a hypermasculine approach that enables homophobia.
In addition, Icard wrote that Black gay people do not receive the same positive
support and feedback as their White counterparts in the gay community or as their
heterosexual counterparts in the Black community. The lack of support makes it
even more difficult for Black gay people to navigate through their identity develop-
ment due to the racism and homophobia. Icard’s belief about the negative circum-
stance from the gay and Black communities is not supported by empirical evidence;
rather, it is his assumption through personal experiences. However, these assump-
tions may be evident in the experiences of Black gay men while in college.
Boykin
Although research (e.g., theories and studies) has expanded for racially
diverse populations, there still needs to be additional research about specific racial
groups and their experiences in the gay community (Bilodeau & Renn, 2005). Such

34
future research can test Icard’s assumptions. However, the search for literature
depicting the Black gay experience mentions one author consistently: Keith
Boykin. Boykin is a mainstream author who writes about his own experiences with-
out using qualitative or quantitative techniques. He writes from personal experi-
ences and previously published studies about the Black community. Admittedly,
there is criticism from empirical researchers against mainstream authors due to a
lack of empirical evidence and specific data sets.
Boykin is a creditable source of information about the Black gay experience
due to his own life experiences being a Black gay man. He has a list of noteworthy
accomplishments that support his creditability to write about Black gay issues. For
example, he is a Harvard Law School graduate and worked for 2 years as a special
assistant and director of specialty press for President Clinton. He served as
Clinton’s liaison for African American and LGBT media.
Boykin (1996) confirmed Icard’s assumptions as he wrote about the blatant
homophobia in the Black community and racism in the gay community. He also
acknowledged the lack of support from the heterosexual Black community, who
refuse to understand or sympathize with Black gay people. Instead, the mindset of
the Black community is that homosexuality is a White issue due to media images
and stereotypes. These Black gay people do not have a support network and the
Black community chooses not to support them. Boykin wrote that the Black
community might feel that Black gay people have made a choice to identify with
the gay community by coming out and have discarded their connection to the Black
community. One can argue that gays may encounter the same racism as their
straight counterparts; it can also be argued that gays must struggle more with
discomfort among their own racial community due to existing homophobia.

35
Boykin (1996) wrote that Black gays who are comfortable with both their
racial identity and their gay identity could be viewed as pioneers for setting new
imagery within the Black community about what a gay person may look like. These
pioneers also challenge perceptions about heterosexual and homosexual Black men.
Boykin’s assertions and experiences address the validity of traditional homosexual
models, theories, and studies that do not consider racial, ethnic, and cultural
experiences of their gay populations. In addition, his comments serve as a possible
foreshadow of what may be seen in the experiences of the Black gay college men
participants in this study.
Loiacano
Among the limited empirical research for Black gay students, Loiacano
(1993) coordinated an exploratory study with three Black gay men and three Black
lesbian women to discover identity development issues. All except one participant
had a Bachelor’s degree. Loiacano interviewed participants with a six-question
questionnaire. The questions correlated with existent gay identity models such as
Cass, Troiden, and Coleman. The questions addressed awareness about same-
gender feelings, coming out experiences, and external experiences of being gay in
the Black community.
The study revealed three thematic areas: (a) finding validation in the gay
and lesbian community, (b) finding validation in the Black community, and (c) the
need to integrate identities. In finding validation in the gay and lesbian community
(theme one), the participants expressed experiences of discrimination from the gay
community due to their racial identity. One example was from a participant who
mentioned that he did not receive adequate service at gay bars. This participant

36
explained that he was often neglected at the bar counter while the White customers
were acknowledged before him. This inequality in service saddened the participant
because he assumed that the gay and Black communities were both fighting against
inequality (Loiacano, 1993). This lack of customer service for the Black participant
can be interpreted as racist and a common occurrence for Black persons in gay
settings.
Finding validation in the Black community (theme two) explained partici-
pants’ experiences homophobia and/or discrimination from the Black community.
For example, one Black lesbian participant and gay participants explained how they
never interacted with other Black gay people; therefore, they never had role models
and a social support network to seek for comfort. One participant mentioned that,
when going to gay activities, he never saw Black gay people. Another participant
expressed his continual struggle for validation, which made it difficult for him to
move past the scrutiny of others. As a result, discrimination from both the gay and
Black communities led some participants to seek their own support networks
(Loiacano, 1993).
In fact, the need to integrate identities (theme three) showed that the Black
gay and lesbian participants began to create their own Black gay support networks
to help themselves and others in their position. The networks also helped them to
cope with the struggles and hardships that their dual minority identities presented.
Rhoads (1997) would argue that Black gay role models can help these participants
with their identity development because a lack of mentorship may hinder the
identity development for them.
In Loiacano’s (1993) findings the participants deeply desired acceptance
from the Black community. Some participants, for example, feared that their

37
identification with the gay community or coming to terms with their gay identity
might compromise their acceptance in the Black community. It is clear that the
participants feared negative consequences of coming out. As a result, some Black
gay people may choose not to disclose their gay identity to heterosexual Black
people. For instance, the lack of support from the Black community may make
Black gay students reluctant to disclose their homosexuality (Battle, Bennett, &
Shaw, 2004). The Black community is obviously an important facet of identity
development for Black gay people, which researchers should consider in future
studies. The homophobia that Black gays experience from their own community
can add a dimension to their development that is often neglected.
Crawford
Crawford (2002) argued that, as long as Black gay men kept their gay
identities a secret, the Black community would tolerate them. This struggle to keep
their identity a secret can have a long-lasting psychological effect. Crawford found
that, due to this pressure, some Black gay men might keep their gay identity a
secret and lead a double life as heterosexual for the Black community and homo-
sexual for the gay community. The Black men who secretly engage in gay sex may
use their sexual encounters as a means of escape from the pressures associated with
their double life. These men may engage in risky sexual practices to combat their
feelings. Crawford advocated for interventions from both the Black and gay com-
munities to teach these men self-respect and coping strategies to deal with the
anxiety associated with their double lives.
The hardships that Black gay men and women may face in society and
among their own Black community can be detrimental to their identity

38
development. Crawford (2002) found that African American gay and bisexual men
(AAGBM) made choices and experienced hardships that drastically affected their
identity development. Crawford discovered that social pressure for AAGBM to
view their identity as a singular construct; as a result, they feel pressure to choose
between race/ethnicity and sexuality. For example, he found in the AAGBM
experience the following: (a) substance abuse problems (higher rates than hetero-
sexual counterparts), (b) high suicide rates, (c) depression and anxiety disorders
(higher rates than heterosexual counterparts), and (d) minimal decreases of the
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS).
Crawford (2002) assumed that gay persons who come to terms with their
racial and gay identity would have higher self-esteem and greater life satisfaction
and that Black gay men who engaged in social participation in the Black and gay
communities would have higher self-esteem. He asserted that, as Black gay men
become comfortable with their gay identity, they take safer sex precautions and
avoid risky sexual behavior. However, the homophobia from the Black community
and racism from the gay community prevent Black gay men from coping with their
dual identities. The difficulties identified by Crawford can affect identity develop-
ment in Black gay college men. Crawford’s research serves as a reference as
students explain their experiences through critical incident reports.
Crawford (2002) wrote about the negative consequences that Black gay
men experience from the Black and gay communities and captured the struggles
and social pressures for these men experience. However, Crawford examined Black
gay men in general and did not specifically address the influential experiences for
Black gay men in college. Therefore, there needs to be more research to understand
Black gay men in college.

39
Roberts
It is important to explore the perspectives of the heterosexual Black com-
munity to understand why they choose not to accept their homosexual counterparts.
Roberts (1994) argued that Black men’s masculinity is based upon a hypermascu-
line attitude. He wrote that heterosexual Black men are not accepting toward Black
gay men because heterosexual Black men view their relationships with other men
as a competition to determine who is more masculine. Due to gay stereotypes,
Black gay men cannot be considered masculine because they are viewed as
feminine, with stereotypical female characteristics such as shopping and cooking.
As a result, they lose all masculinity in the eyes of heterosexual Black men.
Heterosexual Black men also have homophobic viewpoints because of their
high esteem for male friends. This high esteem and close friendship among Black
males is typically an emotion reserved for family members; therefore, to accept a
gay friend would be similar to accepting a gay relative (Roberts, 1994). Black
heterosexual men do not tolerate having a Black gay friend through these standards
nor a Black gay family member. Roberts contended that Black heterosexual men
perpetuate homophobia due to their perceptions about masculinity.
Richardson, Meyers, Bing, and Satz
Another important assertion about Black gay men experiences was
presented in an epidemiological study by Richardson, Meyers, Bing, and Satz
(1997) that addressed hardships for Black gay men. These hardships are important
to consider when exploring the experiences of Black gay men in college. For
example, a hardship for Black gay men is that they have higher rates of substance
use than their White counterparts. In addition, the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention (CDC) indicated that the suicide rate among Black boys and young men

40
increased to 105% between 1980 and 1995 (CDC, 1998). The levels of depression
and mood anxiety disorders have elevated among Black gay men as compared with
their White gay counterparts or their Black heterosexual counterparts (Richardson
et al.). The latter assumes being male, Black, and gay can be a major hardship due
to homophobia experienced by both the Black and gay communities. This homo-
phobia and struggle to find acceptance can be a major determinant for substance
abuse, depression, or suicide.
Herek and Capitanio
Herek and Capitanio’s (1995) study investigated perceptions about Black
homosexuality through a two-wave telephone survey with a national sample of 391
Black heterosexual adults and White heterosexual adults. The survey’s primary
focus was U.S. adult attitudes about AIDS. The study aimed to understand the
personal perceptions of the gay and bisexual population in relation to AIDS preven-
tion and outreach. Herek and Capitanio wanted a comparison study between the
attitudes of Black and White heterosexuals toward homosexuality because such
research is limited. They found that 74.1% of the Black respondents agreed that sex
between two men was wrong, leading to the assumption that the Blacks represented
in this sample were not accepting of homosexuality.
Herek and Capitanio (1995) also reported that Black respondents were less
likely to have anti-gay attitudes than White counterparts. A national survey con-
ducted by Marsiglio in 1993 (as cited in Herek & Capitanio) found no significant
differences in expressions of disgust about male-to-male sex. When posed with the
statement, “I think male homosexuals are disgusting,” the percentages were similar:
57.4% of Blacks agreed with the statement, 41.4% of Blacks disagreed, and 58.4%

41
of Whites agreed. The averages were based on a Likert-type scale that combined
agree strongly and agree somewhat responses as well as calculated disagree
comments. From the findings it is clear that gay men face discrimination and anti-
gay attitudes from both Black and White heterosexuals. However, Black hetero-
sexual men are more negative toward gay men than White male counterparts.
From this sample, Herek and Capitanio’s (1995) study statistically supports
the assumptions made by authors such as Icard, Boykin, and Loiacano that homo-
phobia is evident in the Black community. The study showed that homophobia is
obviously triggered by the negativity toward gay people.
A Review of Critical Incidents and
Concept Mapping Methodology
The critical incident technique developed by Flanagan (1954) is a quali-
tative research method used to solved practical problems. Flanagan developed this
technique to understand change in particular situations. Many organizations and
organization stakeholders have used it because it helps to evaluate consumers’
expectations and perceptions as well as evaluate quality. Critical incident research
involves the collection of brief, written, factual reports describing particular
actions, experiences, and responses to specific situations. People who actually
experience the situation may write the actual incident reports. An incident is critical
when it helps to resolve a problem or situation. The incident describes a situation
that had a lasting impact on the participant’s development; it can either be an
effective or ineffective outcome (Fivars & Fitzpatrick, 2006). Critical incidents
identify and describe the actions that people take in a variety of situations, but the
researcher who is requesting the incident report determines the specific situations.

42
Proposals must include a clear, concise statement of the purpose or aim of
the study; specifications for the types of data to be collected; plans for
selection of the population to be sued; guidelines for observing, interpreting
and classifying critical incidents, plans for analyzing data and for
interpreting and reporting results. (p. 1)
Clarity is vital for the critical incidents because they are analyzed qualitatively and
quantitatively. Researchers have an obligation to interpret the experiences of their
subjects accurately. From the critical incidents researchers can discover new
strategies to address the perceived problem and enhance existing programs and
services.
Concept mapping is a methodological approach to code key categories and
elements of information from participants. Goodyear, Lichtenberg, Tracey,
Claiborn, and Wampold (2005) explained that concept mapping focuses on the
knowledge gained by individuals and groups. Goodyear and his colleagues
expressed that concept mapping studies answer the question, “How do people in
general (or particular groups of people) construe some aspect of experience?”
Through these experiences, concept mapping uses a “multidimensional scaling and
cluster methods” (p. 237) to map the similarities between information concepts.
The clusters of information create general themes from the interviews and the
paired comparison questionnaire uses these themes. Then the questionnaire asks
participants to rate themselves in relation to their personal similarities with the
categories on the questionnaire. For example, each theme on the questionnaire can
ask, “How does this term relate to you?” The participant respond using a scale
ranging from 1 (not at all) to 10 (very much), and the responses are summarized
and mapped onto dimensions on a concept map. Although this methodology section
is unique, it is valid in identifying similar concepts from the design’s mixed
methods finding approach.

43
Significance of the Study and
Research Questions
A lack of research about student experiences presumably explains why
higher education professionals create assumptions about students based upon
existing identity development models. It is important to understand that current
research may not mention the unique experiences for student subgroups such as
racial minorities.
The belief that students’ sense of identity is developed during the college
years is widely accepted; what has not received as much attention is the
influence of race, ethnicity, other social categories, or the interrelationship
of multiple identities on the development during the college years. (Torres
et al., 2003, p. 14)
One can conclude that previous research is incomplete because the experiences of
student subgroups are missing.
Rhoads (1997) wrote that research about gay student college experiences is
limited, which is a gap in the literature that future research should explore. Icard
(1986) also found that research about the Black gay experience is limited and stated
that future research should include influences experienced while in college. The
present study explored the experiences of Black gay students to discover through
their own perspectives and opinions what factors had influenced their identity
development.
This study provides information about the experiences of underrepresented
gay people, particularly Black gay men, and contributes to the limited research
about gay student experiences. An assumption is that the experiences of these men
presents new perspectives to consider. The study was guided by the following
research questions:
1. What factors do traditional-age (18-22) Black gay college men at 4-year
institutions perceive to have affected their identities?

44
2. What conceptual maps do Black gay college men use to organize theses
factors?

45
CHAPTER 2
METHOD
This chapter describes the methods used in this study. It addressed the
study’s participants, raters, measures, recruitment strategies, and procedures.
Participants
Phase One
Sixty-nine undergraduate men participated in the first phase of this study.
Thirty-two (46.4%) of the 69 men who completed the first section provided
information in the second incident section of the CYEQ. Thirty-five (50.7%)
identified themselves as Black, 24 (34.8%) as African American, and 10 (14.5%) as
multiracial. With regard to sexual orientation, 45 participants (65%) identified as
gay, 12 (17.4%) as bisexual, and 11 (16%) as either same-gender loving, down low,
homosexual, or queer. Their mean age was 20.75 years (SD =1.3 years).
All of the men were pursuing an undergraduate degree at a 4-year educa-
tional institution. The colleges and universities spanned the United States. The
participants were of freshman to senior class standing to guarantee that they had
been exposed to the college environment: 35% were freshmen, 23% were sopho-
mores, 21% were juniors, and 22% were seniors.
Phase Two
In Phase Two 15 participants completed the Paired Comparison Question-
naire. These participants were a subset of the original participants from Phase One.
Their mean age was 20.8 years (SD = 0.77 years) with an age range from 20 to 22.

46
The second phase participants were from 4-year institutions across the
United States. A majority (n =6, 40%) were from one university: University of
Southern California. Nine (60%) participants were juniors and 6 (40%) were
seniors.
Raters
The raters for this study were three doctoral students (one of whom was the
author) at a large private university: a White/European female, a White/European
male, and a Mexican American male. Two of the raters self-identified as gay and
one self-identified as lesbian. All of the raters were familiar with the mixed-
methods technique utilized for this study, and they had completed all necessary
coursework in their doctoral program.
All raters participated in mock rating sessions that used data collected from
a CYEQ pilot experiment. A trained faculty member, well versed with the critical
incident technique and concept mapping, supervised the raters. The raters coded the
incidents and eliminated possible redundancies among the reports.
Measures
This study utilized two measurement strategies. During Phase One
Flanagan’s (1954) critical incident technique was used to collect experiences that
had occurred during college that the respondents stated had had a direct impact on
their identity development. A paired comparison questionnaire was developed for
the second phase of the study, using Phase One categories. This questionnaire
collected data that would be used for the multidimensional scaling (MDS) and
cluster analysis to create the conceptual map that participants used to organize the
experiences.

47
Critical Incident Technique
Phase One used the CYEQ (appendix C) based on Flanagan’s (1954)
critical incident technique. The CYEQ asked participants, through an online survey
collection program, to reflect on a personal experience while attending college. In
addition, participants could record at least one incident or experience that had
affected their sense of self.
Participants were asked to recall significant experiences, either negative or
positive, that had had a dramatic affect on them while in college. The CYEQ asked
participants: (a) to describe a particular incident, (b) to mention whether other
people were involved, and (c) to explain why the incident was important to them.
Participants were also asked to rate on a scales of 1 = very negative to 7 = very
positive the degree to which the experience was positive and the eventual effect that
the experience had on their sense of self.
Demographic information about the participants was also collected
(appendix D). This information included open-ended questions about sexual
orientation identification, age, ethnicity, class standing in school, and the name of
the college or university. The final questions on the CYEQ asked participants
whether they would like to participate in the second phase of the study; they could
provide their email address to receive further notification about the second phase.
Eleven doctoral students created the initial CYEQ and piloted it two times
to test the questionnaire and they gathered feedback from pilot participants. The
first pilot participants were doctoral students who were members of the research
team. Participants for the second pilot were colleagues of the doctoral students. The
pilots allowed the doctoral students to improve the CYEQ. Participant feedback
initiated discussions among the students, resulting in some changes to the CYEQ.

48
Paired Comparisons Questionnaire
Raters created 13 categories from the responses from Phase One critical
incident data. These categories were used to create the paired-comparison question-
naire, the College Years Experience Concept Similarity Rating Scale (CSRS). Each
of the 13 categories was paired with each of the other categories, creating a 78-item
questionnaire. The placement of the paired categories for the CSRS was determined
by using a random number table (appendix E). The CSRS was emailed to 15 Phase
One participants via an online survey program.
Participants were provided descriptions of the 13 categories before taking
the CSRS to understand the meaning behind each category and they were instructed
to rate the similarities between the categories on a 6-point scale of 1 = not at all
alike, 2 = not alike, 3 = slightly alike, 4 = somewhat alike, 5 = alike, 6 = very much
alike (appendix F).
Procedures
Participant Selection
Phase One
Four-year colleges and universities across the United States were used to
recruit participants for this study. The 121 colleges and universities registered with
the National Consortium of Directors of LGBT Resource in Higher Education were
solicited to send the CYEQ questionnaire to their students. The consortium is a
members-only community for colleges or universities with paid staff working at
higher education-based LGBT, programs, or offices.
Thirteen percent (n =16) of the consortium colleges and universities had
participants who completed the CYEQ (Table 1). None of the consortium sites was

49
Table 1

College and University Participants

Colleges and universities Incidents

University of Southern California
a
20
University of California, Los Angeles
a
10
Pepperdine University 4
Western Michigan University
a
4
California State University, Northridge 3
Georgia State University 3
Ohio University
a
3
University of Arkansas at Little Rock 3
Brown University
a
2
Buffalo State College 2
Clark College 2
Cornell University
a
2
Emory University
a
2
Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis
a
2
North Carolina Central University 2
Pacific University 2
Santa Monica Community College 2
Syracuse University
a
2
Texas Southern University 2
Texas State University 2
Wayne State University 2
University of California, Santa Barbara
a
2
University of Maryland, College Park
a
2
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
a
2
University of Southern Mississippi 2
University of Wisconsin-Madison
a
2
University of Wisconsin-Parkside 2
Yale University 2
Xavier University of Louisiana 2
Art Institute of Atlanta 1
California State University, Los Angeles 1
California State University, Northridge 1
Morgan State University 1
New York University
a
1
Oregon State University
a
1
San Francisco State University 1
University of Michigan
a
1
University of Mississippi 1

*College and Universities that are registered with the National Consortium of
Directors of LGBT Resources in Higher Education.

50
required to forward the Internet link for the CYEQ, but all 121 sites received the
link via the consortium listserv. Overall, 57% (n = 58) of the incidents were from
consortium colleges and universities.
Black gay leaders from across the United States assisted in the collection of
43% (n = 43) of the incidents. Black gay activists such as, but not limited to, Keith
Boykin, Jasmyne Cannick, Herndon Davis, Jeffrey King, and Deondray Gossett
assisted in soliciting participants. Similar to the consortium colleges and universi-
ties, the leaders sent the CYEQ announcement (appendix G) on their interactive
blog sites and listservs. The support from Black gay leadership helped the author to
recruit participants for this sample selection.
One hundred eighty-six persons accessed the online version of the CYEQ.
Of those who accessed the questionnaire, 154 (82.8%) completed the demographic
section and 69 (37.1%) completed the first incident section. Thirty-two of the 69
persons (46.4%) who completed the first section provided information in the
second incident section of the CYEQ. This resulted in 101 critical incidents.
The CYEQ announcement was available for participants online through an
electronic online survey. Due to the nature of the sampling selection, it was
important to have the CYEQ available online to guarantee that participants could
complete the questionnaire in a private space. The CYEQ included a brief descrip-
tion about the study and the purpose. It was also a strategy of the author to include
in the announcement that this research was the first of its kind for Black gay
college students. The online link allowed the participants to remain anonymous and
provided a confidential method if participants were interested in participating in
Phase Two.

51
Phase Two
The final question on the CYEQ asked the Phase One participants whether
they were interested in participating in the second phase of the study. Participants
who were interested type their email address in the text box. Forty-five of the 69
Phase One participants (65.2%) provided an email address, which indicated that
they wanted to participate in the second phase of the study. When the CSRS
became available, the author emailed to 30 participants, chosen at random, an
announcement about the CSRS (appendix H). Fifteen participants (50%) completed
the CSRS.
Measure Administration
Phase One
The CYEQ (appendix C) was adapted to an online format through a survey
service to guarantee greater participation due to the specific sampling selection.
The author provided the registered consortium colleges and universities as well as
the Black gay leaders the solicitation email announcement (appendix G) to send to
their listservs or post on their blogs. The email included the Web address where the
CYEQ could be accessed. When potential participants logged in to the survey, they
were provided an opportunity to read the Research Project Information Sheet
(appendix I) or they could proceed directly to the questionnaire.
The CYEQ remained available through the online survey service until at
least 100 incidents had been obtained. Incidents were deemed usable if the
respondent completed the description of an experience while in college.

52
Phase Two
The CSRS (appendix F) was adapted to an online format through a survey
service to guarantee greater participation. Thirty Phase One participants (selected at
random) who had provided an email address for Phase Two were sent a CSRS
announcement (appendix H) by the author. The CSRS remained open until 15
usable responses had been received. A response was deemed to be usable if the
respondent completed the entire 78-item questionnaire. When 15 useable response
sets were received, CSRS was closed on the service.
Data Analysis
Phase One
Theme Development
After the CYEQ was closed, the author downloaded the responses from the
service and generated a spreadsheet file that contained all of the incidents and the
demographic information (sexual orientation identification, age, ethnicity, standing
in school, and name of college or university), point in college at which each inci-
dent occurred, and the positive experience and effect self-rating for each incident.
The experiences, along with each experience’s Internet Protocol (IP) address, were
transferred to a word processing document and given to the raters for category
development.
Using the word processing document, the raters independently generated a
list of categories found in the incidents. The raters read each incident and listed the
category that they believed it represented. All the categories generated were placed
on individual lists. The raters then met as a group to review their category crea-
tions. The categories were reviewed and similar categories were recorded, while the

53
remaining categories were discussed to understand the rater’s rationale. The raters
reexamined the remaining categories as a group and developed categories that
represented the corresponding incidents. The raters fortunately developed similar
category ideas, which may be because the raters were familiar with LGBT student
experiences. The raters were all researching an aspect of the LGBT student
experience while in college. When the categories were created, the raters developed
and approved 13 general categories from the 101 incidents.
Overarching Themes
The categories were assigned to the Phase One incidents by the raters.
Raters read the incidents and assigned one of the 13 categories as the category that
best represented the incident. The individual assignments were compiled by the
author and raters either in person or by telephone to discuss the results. The raters
agreed to have a majority rule approach in discussing category assignments.
However, if all raters assigned an incident a different category, then the incident
was reexamined by the group and assigned a category that all raters accepted.
Phase Two
After Phase Two data collection, the similarity ratings of each participant
were arranged into a separate similarity matrix. Each of the 13 categories was listed
both vertically and horizontally in the matrix. The similarity scores (6-point scale)
given by individual Phase Two participants for each paired comparison were
entered in the appropriate cells below the diagonal. These data served as the basis
for the concept mapping analyses.
The similarity ratings by each participant were subjected to both nonmetric
multidimensional scaling and hierarchal cluster analyses of the combined group

54
similarity matrix (appendix J) to depict the structures that participants used in
thinking of the sources of impact that college had on their identity development.
All analyses employed the computer statistics program Statistical Package for the
Social Sciences™ (SPSS).
MDS
With MDS, Kruskal and Wish (1978) recommended not to interpret more
dimensions than the number of elements (in this case, category) divided by 4. Thus,
for example, participant A, who generated eight categories, should have no more
than two dimensions. In addition, because its representations are spatial, MDS is
not generally useful with more than three or four dimensions.
Choosing the optimal number of dimensions is not always easy. The
relative fit of the MDS solution to the data serves as the primary selection criterion.
The common indicator of fit is stress
1
, which is the square root of the normalized
residual sum of squares. Values of 0 indicate a perfect fit of the model to the data,
and larger values indicate a lesser fit. Kruskal and Wish recommended that a one-
dimension solution with a stress < .15 suggests that this solution is the best
representation. Failing this, the study examined solutions with more dimensions.
The “elbow” in the stress fit values examined in a manner similar to the scree test
in factor analysis. Kruskal and Wish recommended the cutoff of stress < .10 as a
criterion of adequacy in deciding on the elbow; in other words, does the elbow
adequately account for the data by being below the .10 threshold?
After this fit criterion, Kruskal and Wish (1978) recommended interpreta-
bility, ease of use, and stability as other criteria to use in selecting dimensions.

55
Interpretability refers to the solution that makes the most sense conceptually. Fewer
dimensions are preferable because they depict the structure more simply.
Clustering
Clustering analysis explores whether the data are better depicted with a
discrete, rather than dimensional, representation. Clustering focuses on differences
of “type,” in contrast to MDS’s differences of “amount,” and examines how the
categories generated were qualitatively different. The similarity matrix was
examined using both hierarchical clustering and add-tree clustering methods. The
two methods involve different assumptions, a presentation of which is beyond the
scope of this paper; however, by using both and looking for commonalities, it was
presumed that the process would yield more confidence in structures. The rates
focused more on hierarchical clustering, using Euclidean distance and Ward’s
method of linkage, with complete linking as an added check.
The selection of the number of clusters is rarely clear (Borgen & Barnett,
1987), and selection procedures range from informal to statistical. Given the
study’s focus on interpretability and ease of use, the informal approach was used.
The logic is similar to that of the scree test in factor analysis. Hierarchical cluster-
ing presents the data in the form of a dendrogram, which is a representation of the
distance of each category from each other category. The fusion coefficient (i.e., the
value of the distance parameter listed in the clustering dendrogram for each number
of clusters) is examined for an “elbow,” as in MDS, using the criteria of interpreta-
bility and ease of use to yield the final cluster representation.

56
CHAPTER 3
RESULTS
Results from each of the two phases of the study are reported in this
chapter. Phase one incorporated a qualitative approach to identify categories of
impacts that Black gay men had experienced. Phase Two employed quantitative
data to depict a cognitive map of these students’ experiences.
Phase One
Categories
The three raters grouped the 101 CYEQ responses into 13 categories of
experiences that participants had found to be significant in their identity develop-
ment during college. The 13 categories are described in the material that follows,
along with illustrative examples.
Coming out to self. Eleven of the 101 incidents were grouped in this
category, the second greatest number of incidents. Participants mentioned that the
college experience was a time in their lives when they were coming to terms with
their gay identity and their attractions to other men. Some mentioned that they
came to terms with their gay identities after a romantic relationship with women.
I first realized that I had to live my life for me it had become overwhelm-
ingly evident that I was not into women. I decided one night after coming
back from my home town where my girlfriend was still residing that I
would no longer subject her to my unhappiness. . . . She did not appeal to
me the way that the guys did that I noticed on campus.
I got a massive crush on this [male] TA teaching one of the discussion
sections I attended. I wasn’t really expecting to get a crush on another guy,
so it was a bit of a surprise and betrayal from what I had assumed I would
like. So, I mulled about it for the 5 five years or so, and recently got more or
less comfortable with my sexuality.

57
Third year of school, a fellow classmate (a girl) expressed an interest in me,
I declined. She was a classmate whom I knew only from one semester in
college. I considered her a good friend. This was the “nail in the coffin” in
terms of me deciding that the opposite gender was not in fact where I would
find happiness.
I really liked a girl and she turned me down. . . . After calming down my
anger, I realized I only wanted to date her to fit in more and be normal.
However, I couldn’t even see myself want to have sex with her. It helped
me realize I can be who I am and I don’t have to lie to myself.
My incident occurred when a fellow female student attempted to seduce me
after I gave her a message. I realized that I did not get any pleasure out of it
or her. Afterwards, I realized that I could no longer pretend to enjoy the
company of a female.
I was never completely satisfied or content with women, so I’d experiment
with men whenever I wasn’t dating a woman. Many would probably con-
sider me to be a down low brother but I declared my privacy by maintaining
my discretion. Eventually (jr. year), I got sick and tired of living for others
and pretending to want the opposite sex . . . so I broke up with my last
girlfriend and pursued a man. I’m happier now with more peace.
Experiencing a gay romantic relationship for the first time. Seven of the
101 responses were placed in this category. These experiences were concerned with
participants’ initiating dating or romantic relationships with other men. Some parti-
cipants mentioned that having a romantic relationship with another man helped
them come out to others about their gay identity.
I had my first date with another guy. He was really cute and smart; he was
one of my co-workers at Abercrombie and Fitch. He is Salvadorian and did
I mention cute! We had dinner and saw a movie. This experience has
opened me up to dating and being myself.
Another important experience was meeting my first boyfriend while a
freshman in college. The experience was important because it was my first
time being in same-sex relationship that was out in the open in the sense
that we both had friends who knew we were a couple. This relationship also
became the catalyst for my eventually coming out to my parents.
My sophomore year of college, I met my boyfriend. Before then I was not
out. He changed me in so many ways, for the better. I am more aware of
myself and my surroundings.

58
Some participants also mentioned that this romantic relationship validated
their gay identity by feeling at ease and comfortable being romantic with another
man.
The first time I was fully intimate with another guy changed completely
changed my life. When I was next to him, and communicated with him, I
felt as if I was finally interacting with another human being in the way the
uniquely meant for me. When I held him, and he held me, it felt better than
the way it had with my ex-girlfriend. This was very important for me,
because it affirmed that my longings were more than mere desires, they
were necessities for me.
Having a gay sexual encounter. This was one of two categories that con-
tained 10 incidents. In this category, participants mentioned having had sexual
encounters with other men. This was different from the gay romance category in
that the experiences were explicitly sexual, without romantic expectations with the
sexual partners.
I was at Band Camp with football players. . . . I knew I liked guys but never
acted on them until I was in college. . . . To make a long story short, here
was a jock and a band student exploring what was told a taboo in our lives.
I had sex with the head of the GLBTA, and after realizing he slept around a
lot and that he was just using me for sex, I realized that I was having sex
with men to get them to like me.
Some students reported that they participated in anonymous sexual
encounters with other men.
I was approached by a guy in the shower; caught him eyeing me, we went
back to his room. The experience was hot and intense.
During the summer of 2006, I had lost my virginity to a guy I had met
online. He doesn’t go to USC, nor is he a college student. It was impromptu
but not entirely. Extensive talking online had occurred beforehand.
I was “propositioned” anonymously. . . . The guy (I’m not 99% sure he was
another male undergraduate student) contacted me by email, which he
probably got from the student directory.
Experiencing a gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting. Six
responses were classified in this category. These experiences concerned

59
participants not feeling that they “fit in” with gay peers on campus. As a result, the
participants felt uncomfortable in socializing with other gay students on campus.
My first off-campus party with members of the local gay male community
exposed me to a very homogenized view of what was desirable among these
men. I therefore felt extremely out-of-place, awkward and undesirable.
When I first came out of the closet, I tried to make friends with other gay
males in the community, [by whom] I was rejected. At the time I was over-
weight, had no sense of style and very low self esteem, and my one gay
friend discussed how many gay men will not be friends with someone they
are not attracted to in some way.
Having sexual identity affirmed in classroom, campus center or local
community. In the six responses in this category participants described having
experienced a positive climate for gay students in the classroom, on campus, or in
the surrounding community.
I took a brain and behavior course from a Doctor of Neurophysiology. One
day in class, he went on a long tirade about how homosexuality was not a
choice. He presented dozens of studies that had empirical evidence that the
brains of gay men and transgender people are not the same as everyone
else’s (lesbian women’s brains tended to be normal when compared to their
heterosexual counterparts). Here it was! The evidence I had been looking
for my whole life! Scientific proof that I wasn’t strange.
Participants also reported a positive climate for their gay identity on
campus.
I was elected to our student senate in September of my freshman year. The
experience was memorable because it provided me with lifelong mentors,
opportunity to experience real government at work, develop a passion for
politics, and gave me a sense of purpose early in my college career.
Incidents in this category concerned a positive climate from the surrounding
community.
I had a plan when I came to New York to accomplish my dreams and goals.
Starting right when I turned 18. I became active in New York’s unique
nightlife scene, building connections in fashion, press, and club music for
my budding career.

60
Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity. Only three incidents com-
prised this category. These incidents concerned experiences in which participants
needed to reinforce their masculinity due to their gay identity.
There was this guy who I immediately became friends with. It was com-
pletely platonic, but he kept saying things to me in a joking manner about
how I was not man enough like him, because I didn’t like basketball or I
would prefer bowling over basketball, and that I needed pussy because I
was tense.
During my sophomore year I lived in university sponsored housing, I had a
friend fall asleep on my bed in my room. The next day my three roommates
started calling me a “homo.” It started to get real ugly on campus in general
for me.
I always found myself trying to project the stereotypical Black male in all
his bravado and hip-hop attire. I thought, of course, if I projected this per-
son, my sexuality would never be questioned. Although I was in a meaning-
ful relationship with a man during my freshman year, I still told myself that
I needed to prescribe to the heterosexual norms set around me, and so I
found myself constantly giving off a hard exterior.
Encountering unexpected adversity (independent of sexuality). The nine
incidents in this category concerned personal struggles that had affected
respondents’ identity while in college.
I couldn’t pay my tuition and I had to leave school for a semester. It was
negative; however, I was able to know what I wanted to do at school and no
longer helpless in my own life. I could come back, pay tuition, get the
student loan I needed, and resume studies.
I had to leave school when I was lacking tuition; I was more worried about
what people thought of me instead of my education. Then I had to under-
stand that my education belonged to me, no one else. It gave me ownership.
I was a true junior at the university and that was the year that my father took
his life at home. I had to withdraw that semester. His death was very diffi-
cult to overcome, as he never knew of my true self.
I lost a dear person in my life. His death was very hard to deal with because
the part of him that I knew was the part I had to hide from his family
because they did not know about his sexuality.
My experience was struggling academically during my first semester. This
experience taught me that I’m not in college for other people. I’m here for
myself and to better myself.

61
Having a direct experience with discrimination based on sexual orientation
and/or race. This was the category with the greatest number (16) of incidents.
Participants’ experiences were of either homophobia or racism.
The negative experience that I had was based on a classroom discussion.
Somehow, one of the students was always bringing up sexual orientation.
We were discussion public policy in general and before I knew it my fellow
students brought up their interpretations on the Bible. I have no idea how
this happened but the classroom turned on me. Somehow this got back to
my off campus employer and I was fired for bring incompatible with the
company.
I’m a victim of gay bashing but I was silent about my sexual orientation.
I’m praying to God.
I have always been surprised by the number of Black people that just say
things like sweet, or gay, or soft, etc. There are people who don’t even
know me and don’t want to take the chance to get to know me.
Black students destroyed all of the posters that had queer people in Black
history on them.
I pride myself with my unique sense of dressing and most of the straight
boys at my school hate it but one day when I was getting my ass handed by
some stupid guys . . .
I was hanging out with a few of my friends drinking in the dorms when they
wanted to go to another party that was happening. I was told by the people
hosting the party that I wasn’t welcome because I am a gay Black man and
because of that, I scared them.
My SHADES (LGBT people of color) support organization that I started at
Ohio University hosts the National Day of Silence every year, and I sent out
a mass email informing the school of the event, we received a lot of sup-
port, but I personally receive a good number of negative emails in response.
I was called a faggot and a nigger in one of these; I traced the email back
and found out that it came from a person who I speak to from time to time
since we lived on the same floor in our dorm.
Coming out to friends and family. Eight incidents comprised this category.
Category incidents concerned telling friends and family about their gay identity.
Recently I admitted to my best friends (1 who is male, 2 females) that I was
attracted to and sexually active with males. This was very important to me
because they are my best friends, and my sexual preference is something I
have to keep from my family.

62
Being honest with my fraternity about my sexuality. I had to have indivi-
dual conversations with almost everyone in the brotherhood. This was
important so they could understand who I am as a person. The long-term
effect is that they understand me, who I’m dating, and aren’t in the dark. It
has made our relationships more honest.
I came out, to the surprise of everyone, during a round table discussion
about race, gender, and sexuality.
I decided to tell two different people that I was gay because they were my
friends and I no longer wanted to hide it from them.
Receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus center or organiza-
tion. Ten incidents fit in this category. In these incidents, participants experienced
acceptance and support from friends through involvement with a formal LGBT
campus center or student organization.
An experience that affected my life would probably be when I attended a
gay alliance meeting at school with my close friend. I then realized I could
be myself (gay) publicly with out feeling scared. The importance of the
experience was a forever changing. From that point on I was able to gradu-
ally feel comfortable in my own skin.
During my sophomore year I felt intensely lonely and isolated, which made
me consider leaving SC. I talked to different people who offered advice that
didn’t influence me to reconsider until I talked to the staff in the CBCSA
office and they suggested I get involved with the Black community at SC. I
took that advice and found that it helped me to create a sense of belonging.
Before beginning my freshman year at Yale, I applied to participate in an
early orientation program for minority students. . . . Essentially, the pro-
gram allows you to come to campus a few weeks prior to the start of the
freshman semester to become acclimated to the college setting. I found it
personally impacting since I was the first in my family to attend college.
I think that all throughout college I didn’t care to think about my forming
my own identity. However, I think that going to my university’s gay/
lesbian/queer center for the first time marked the beginning of my journey
into self-discovery.
Recently I attended a call out for the beginning of a new student LGBTQA
group. There were both staff and students involved. Staff and students
represented the entire LGBTQA spectrum. This experience was significant
to me because it gave me the opportunity to sit with like-minded people and
voice my concerns for the LGBTQA community on campus, and gave me
an outlet for group association.

63
Making a conscious decision to remain closeted about one’s sexual identity.
The seven incidents in this category concerned respondents making a conscious
decision to avoid public disclosure about their sexuality and choosing not to
acknowledge their gay identity to others. They chose instead to stay closeted in
certain social settings.
I remember a time when students in class were discussing homosexuality
and I was scared to speak up and defend the subject matter of being found
out about my sexuality
I had not come out at this time. My background was very religious, where
even though I knew I was gay, I just wanted it “out of me.” My family was
strongly Baptist, and I even went to a Baptist university for my undergradu-
ate studies (not because I was gay, but it did make me even more deter-
mined to hide my sexuality).
I was very active with a number of organizations on campus, including the
Association of Black Students and Baylor Chapter of the NAACP. . . . I
remember one guy was so afraid of being seen talking alone with me he
kept looking over his shoulders to make sure no one saw him. I later found
out from a friend that there was a rumor on campus about all the Black
students who were suspected of being gay, and I was on the list. . . . I
worried about everything after that because Baylor has a policy on the
books that being openly gay is grounds for removal from the university.
Imagine that.
Challenging other’s beliefs about homosexuality. The four incidents in this
category concerned participants challenging preconceived notions about gay people
through their friendships and discussions or simply being out on campus.
During my freshman year I was one of the few openly gay students on my
campus of 1,100 students. People had a lot of questions for me, seeing as
how I am a minority in more than one sense.
Being told by a classmate who hailed from a small conservative town that I
changed his perception about who/what gay people are. This classmate was
someone who was in two of my classes in the same semester and someone I
collaborated with on a project.
Having a positive gay role model. The three incidents in this category con-
cerned participants experiencing exposure to inspirational gay peers and devloped
mentor relationships with other Black gay people.

64
I met the president of GLBTSA (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and
Straight Alliance). He was a Black gay male as well. He introduced me to
other gay people on campus.
I went to New York to visit a friend of mine who is very out. We have been
friends since high school and he invited me down so I could see what I was
missing. He is one year older and works in PR. We went to a gay club and I
had what I can definitely call the best time of my life!
These 13 categories are sumarized in Table 2, which includes the mean
values for the year in college that the experience occurred, the positive values for
the incidents, and the values for the eventual effects on the sense of self. An
explanation for the values is reported in the following sections.
Year of Occurrence
Table 2 provides the mean for year of occurrence for each category of
incidents. They ranged from a low of 1.71 (freshman year) for Experiencing a
Romantic Relationship to a high of 3.29 (junior year) for Deciding to Remain
Closeted. Three categories had a mean of 2.0 for their years of occurrence: Having
Sexual Identity Affirmed, Experiencing Discrimination, and Having a Positive Gay
Role Model, and three categories had a mean below 2.0: Experiencing a Romantic
Relationship, Experiencing an Unfriendly Community, and Receiving Support.
Challenging Others’ Beliefs about Homosexuality has a clear mean of 3.0. Five
categories had a mean value ranging between 2.0 and 3.0: Coming out to Self,
Having a Sexual Encounter, Experiencing a Challenge to Masculinity, Encounter-
ing Unexpected Adversity, and Coming out to Friends/Family. Deciding to Remain
Closeted is the only category with a mean above 3.00 (3.29) as its mean for year of
occurrence.
The experiences that tended to occur earliest were Experiencing a Romantic
Relationship (1.71) and Experiencing an Unfriendly Community (1.83). The

65
Table 2

Incidents Overarching Categories

College Positivity Impact
year
a
rating rating
Category f M SD M SD M SD

Having a positive gay role model 3 2.00 1.73 7.00 0.00 7.00 0.00
Having sexual identity affirmed 6 2.00 1.55 7.00 0.00 7.00 0.00
Receiving support 10 1.90 0.99 6.6 0.70 5.8 1.03
Coming out to friends/family 8 2.75 1.04 6.00 1.20 6.50 0.76
Experiencing a romantic relationship 7 1.71 0.76 5.86 1.68 6.71 0.49
Challenging others’ beliefs about
homosexuality 4 3.00 1.41 5.00 1.63 6.25 0.96
Experiencing an unfriendly
community 6 1.83 0.98 4.5 1.76 3.83 1.72
Having a sexual encounter 10 2.3 1.25 4.3 1.57 5.30 1.42
Coming out to self 11 2.27 1.01 4.36 1.50 6.18 0.87
Encountering unexpected adversity 10 2.80 1.03 3.7 2.36 5.00 2.45
Experiencing a challenge to
masculinity 3 2.33 1.53 3.67 3.05 3.67 3.05
Deciding to remain closeted 7 3.29 0.95 2.86 2.60 4.71 2 .21
Experiencing discrimination 16 2.00 1.21 2.25 1.98 3.44 2.25

a
1 = freshmen, 2 = sophomore, 3 = junior, and 4 = senior.

experience that occurred later in college was Deciding to Remain Closeted (3.29).
Appendix K contains the responses reporting the actual incidents collected for each
of the eight categories.

66
Positive Value Rating
Participants were asked two questions about each reported incident. The
first request was to rate “the degree to which you experienced this incident or
experience as positive” on a 7-point scale ranging from 1 = very negative to 7 =
very positive. The second request was to rate “the eventual effect this incident or
experience had on your sense of self,” using the same 7-point scale.
As shown in Table 2, six categories of experiences were perceived as
positive, with mean values ranging from 5 to 7 on the 7-point scale. The categories
with the highest mean values for positive experiences were Experiencing a
Romantic Relationship (5.86), Coming out to Friends/Family (6.00), and Receiving
Support (6.60). Four categories of experiences were perceived as negative:
Experiencing Discrimination (2.25), Encountering Unexpected Adversity (3.70),
Deciding to Remain Closeted (2.86), and Experiencing a Challenge to Masculinity
(3.67). Experiencing Discrimination received the most negative rating and was the
largest category with the most experiences collected in Phase One. The categories
with mid-level perceptions on the 7-point were Having a Sexual Encounter,
Coming Out to Self, and Experiencing an Unfriendly Community.
Eventual Effect of Experience on Sense of Self
The differences between the mean for ratings of positivity and for eventual
impact were not great. In fact, three of the mean values were similar: Experiencing
a Challenge to Masculinity (3.67), Having Sexual Identity Affirmed (7.00), and
Having a Positive Gay Role Model (7.00). The mean value for the most positive
eventual effect was 7.00 and the lowest value for the eventual effect was 3.44 for
Experiencing Discrimination, which also had the lowest mean value for the initial
incident question.

67
Eight categories (Coming Out to Self, Experiencing a Romantic Relation-
ship, Having a Sexual Encounter, Encountering Unexpected Adversity, Experi-
encing Discrimination, Deciding to Remain Closeted, Challenging Others’ Beliefs
about Homosexuality, and Coming Out to Friends/Family) were rated more posi-
tively than the value for the initial experience. Two categories (Experiencing an
Unfriendly Community and Receiving Support) were rated more negatively than the
value for the initial experience. Although the mean values varied, it is important to
consider that differences between the initial incident and eventual effect questions
were not great.
Phase Two
Research Question
The research question that guided Phase Two of this study was, What con-
ceptual map do Black gay college men use to organize their experience of these
categories of experiences? Similarity data from the CSRS were analyzed using
both MDS and cluster analysis. Results of each are reported in this section.
Multidimensional Scaling (MDS)
The MDS solutions were examined initially for both three-dimensional and
two-dimensional solutions, which had stress values of .16 and .26, respectively; the
RSQ values (variance accounted for) were .75 for the three-dimension solution
and.57 for the two-dimension solution. Despite the stress and RSQ indicators that
the dimensional solution was better, the result of the two-dimensional solution was
employed for the concept map. Table 3 illustrates the dimension weights for

68
Table 3

Dimension Values

Dimension
Category Abbreviation (x) (y)

Coming out to self SELF -0.15 -1.27
Experiencing a gay romantic
relationship for the first time ROMANTIC 0.07 1.29
Having a gay sexual encounter SEXUAL -0.07 -0.41
Experiencing a gay community that was
unfriendly or rejecting UNFRIEND -0.33 -1.82
Having sexual identity affirmed in classroom,
campus center or local community AFFIRMED 0.16 1.18
Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity MASCULIN 1.71 0.11
Encountering unexpected adversity
(independent of sexuality) ADVERSIT -1.65 -0.47
Having a direct experience with discrimination
based on sexual orientation and/or race DISCRIMI 1.55 0.96
Coming out to friends and family FRIENDSF 0.01 -0.27
Receiving friendly support from a formal
LGBT campus center or organization SUPPORT 1.63 -1.16
Making a conscious decision to remain
closeted about one’s sexual identity CLOSETED -0.60 0.56
Challenging other’s beliefs about homosexuality CHALLBLF -1.27 0.96
Having a positive gay role model ROLEMODE -1.05 0.33

two-dimension solution for the 13 categories. The two-dimension weights for the
categories are plotted in the Euclidean distance model, as shown in Figure 1.

69

Figure 1. Euclidean distance model.

The interpretation of dimensions is an important task in understanding the
meaning of the data. These data suggest that participants in this study separated
receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus center of organization at
one end of Dimension 1 and encountering unexpected adversity (independent of
sexuality) at the other end, while the other categories fell between the two ends.
Therefore, Dimension 1 seems to demonstrate internalized clarification of gay
identity and confusion of gay identity. The dimension was labeled “Gay Identity
Confusion vs. Gay Identity Clarification.”
The two extremes of Dimension 2 were experiencing a gay community that
was unfriendly or rejecting and experiencing a gay romantic relationship for the
first time. For this dimension raters interpreted unfriendliness as a challenge to gay
identity and romantic relationships as contentment with gay identity, labeling the
dimension “Challenges to Gay Identity vs. Contentment with Gay Identity.”

70
Hierarchical Cluster Analysis
Cluster analysis examines the manner in which categories might be aggre-
gated into larger categories, allowing raters to identify similarities and patterns
from the data. The dendrogram (Figure 2) depicts the hierarchical clustering and
represents the distance of each category from the other categories.

Figure 2. Dendrogram using Ward method.

At point 10 on the dendrogram a five-cluster solution is evident, and this
solution was utilized for the concept map, as it seemed to make conceptual sense. It
is important to mention that receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus
center or organization was an outlier to the cluster analysis and remained
independent. The categories that formed each cluster are listed in Table 4.

71
Table 4

Categories in Clusters

Personal Interpersonal Divided
Conflict perspective Validation affirmation identities

ADVERSIT CHALLBLF ROLEMODE ROMANTIC DISCRIMI
UNFRIEND CLOSETED SEXUAL AFFIRMED MASCULIN
SELF
FRIENDSF

Raters named the five clusters based on the categories represented within
each cluster. In Cluster One participants experienced conflict with peer groups on
campus and dealt with some personal difficulties not related to their sexuality. The
cluster was named Conflict.
Cluster Two categories dealt with a personal choice that participants made
that involved the disclosure of their sexuality as well as choosing to challenge
others’ beliefs about homosexuality. These categories explained the personal
decisions of participants; this cluster was named Personal Perspective.
The categories in the third cluster represented incidents in which partici-
pants sought validation for their sexuality through role models, friends, and family,
as well as through sexual encounters. The validation helped participants to come to
terms with their sexuality. This cluster was named Validation.
The fourth cluster was named Interpersonal Affirmation because the cate-
gories explained the affirmation that participants had toward their sexuality,
whether through a romantic relationship or in the classroom.

72
In the fifth cluster the categories dealt with experiences in which partici-
pants had difficulties in dealing with their attributes and expectations associated
with their dual identities: Black and gay. This cluster was named Divided Identities.
The two-dimensional MDS and cluster analysis results are presented in the
concept map shown in Figure 3.

Cluster Analysis
-2
-1.5
-1
-0.5
0
0.5
1
1.5
-2 -1.5 -1 -0.5 0 0.5 1 1.5 2
Gay Identity Confusion vs. Gay Identity Clarification
Challenges with Gay Identity vs.
Contentment with Gay Identity
Self
Romantic
Sexual FriendsF
Affirmed
Discrimi
Masculin
Support
Unfriend
ChallBlf
Closeted
RoleMode
Adversit
DIVIDED
IDENTITIES
VALIDATION
CONFLICT
PERSONAL
PERSPECTIVE
INTERPERSONAL
AFFIRMATION

Figure 3. Concept map with named clusters.

Dimension 1 used gay identity confusion versus gay identity clarification
and Dimension 2 used gay identity versus contentment with gay identity. The
points were plotted and the five clusters (Conflict, Personal Perspective, Validation,
Interpersonal Affirmation and Divided Identities) are circled and named.

73
CHAPTER 4
DISCUSSION
This study focused on Black gay college men, a minority student population
whom researchers have neglected. It had two research objectives: (a) to identify the
factors that traditional-age (18-22 years old) Black gay college men at 4-year insti-
tutions perceived to have affected their identities, and (b) to determine how Black
gay college men conceptually organized those factors of impact.
In this chapter the findings are discussed in relation to those two research
questions that guided the study. The study’s limitations, directions for future
research, and implications for higher education practitioners are also presented.
Findings in Relation to Research Questions
College Experiences That Black Gay Men Perceived
as Influential on Identity
This study’s results suggest that Black gay college men experience the same
types of discrimination that Black gay men experience from mainstream society.
The greatest number of incidents that Black gay college men reported concerned
Having a direct experience with discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or
race. Consistent with previous research about Black gay men, participants reported
having experienced both racism from the LGBT community and homophobia from
the Black community (Battle et al., 2004; Boykin, 1996; Crawford, 2002; Eliason,
1996; Herek & Capitanio, 1995; Icard, 1986; Loiacano, 1993; Roberts, 1994; Renn
& Bilodeau, 2005a, 2005b; Richardson et al., 1997; Stevens, 2004; Tremble et al.,
1989).

74
One might expect that college students on a college campus would be
liberal and would accept a peer’s gay identity, yet the incidents suggested other-
wise. Based on the findings, Black gay men can experience discrimination and
homophobia regardless of their settings. Not surprisingly, participants rated these
experiences as quite negative.
The participants reported as significant events the experiences of coming
out to self and to others (in the Coming out to self and Coming out to friends and
family categories) that were similar to what has been reported in previous research
involving sexual identity development. Although the sexual identity development
models were primarily based on experiences of gay White men and not gay Black
men, the results suggest that these models are valid for them: the process of coming
to terms with one’s sexual identity is similar for men, regardless of their ethnicity.
Although there may be different external factors involved for ethnic gay men (e.g.,
cultural expectations; expectations surrounding masculinity), these study results
suggest that the internalized self-exploration by Black gay men is similar to what
the existent sexual identity development models describe.
One category of coming out focused on self-negotiation of sexual identity,
which corresponded to what was mentioned in the homosexual identity
development theories (Cass, 1979, 1984; Coleman, 1985; D’Augelli, 1991, 1991b;
Fassinger, 1998; Troiden, 1993). For instance, the first three stages of the Cass
model (identity confusion, identity comparison, and identity tolerance) explain the
developmental progression that people undergo internally and externally as they
acknowledge or question their same-gender attractions.
The other type of coming out (Coming out to friends and family) was more
typically associated with the term; it concerned declaring one’s sexual identity to

75
others. Participants described their anxieties when debating whether to come out to
friends and families, especially for those associated with hypermasculine organiza-
tions (e.g., fraternities, athletics, religious affiliations). Participants attempted to
find tolerance or acceptance for their gay identity, which is similar to characteris-
tics associated with identity acceptance in the Cass model and becoming a lesbian/
gay/bisexual offspring in the D’Augelli model.
Previous research relating to experiences of Black gay men in society corre-
lates with the research from this study with regard to sexual identity development
and discrimination. Although there is no specific previous research about the
experience for Black gay college men, this study demonstrates that they are likely
to experience discrimination on college campuses. In addition, their sexual identity
development may not be different from that of others, regardless of ethnicity. How-
ever, external factors may pose difficulties for Black gay college men, including
religion, family values, and a sense of masculinity.
Another crucial element to consider when reviewing the reported discrimi-
nation incidents is the positivity score that participants ascribed to them. Having a
direct experience with discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or race was
rated as negative (M = 2.25). After experiencing racism from the gay community, a
respondent reported, “This event was important because I realized that racism was
in society and in what was suppose to be the ‘gay community.’ The long-term
effect was feeling no sense of commitment to the ‘gay community.’” This incident
occurred in the third year of school and received extremely negative ratings for
positivity; the student felt neither support nor validation from the campus gay
community. From this experience, the student did not feel supported or validated
from the campus gay community. Black gay college students may need extra

76
support from their campuses to combat or provide assistance when they deal with
discrimination or sexual identity development.
The creation of a supportive campus climate for Black gay college students
is important when dealing with issues of discrimination, since many discrimination
experiences are unreported. If these students acknowledge that there is a safe place
for them on campus to share their experiences regarding discrimination, in the form
of a LGBT resource center or campus cultural center, then appropriate intervention
strategies can be generated. The main issue for college campuses is to end these
incidents of discrimination for Black gay men.
Perceived Effect of Experiences
Incidents of discrimination and homophobia (Making a conscious decision
to remain closeted about one’s sexual identity and Having a direct experience with
discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or race) were perceived as negative
(scores of 3.5 or below) yet were given neutral scores for their impact on identity.
This is an interesting finding because the impact on identity remained neutral
although the incidents were clearly negative. Participants clearly experienced
negative incidents but they did not agree that the incidents had affected their sense
of self.
In contrast, the remaining 11 categories had positive mean values for impact
average scores for two categories (Having a positive gay role model and Having
sexual identity affirmed in classroom, campus center or local community) received
the highest possible mean score (7.00) for positivity and impact. Six categories
(Having a positive gay role model, Having sexual identity affirmed in classroom
campus center or local community, Receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT

77
campus center or organization, Coming out to friends and family, Experiencing a
gay romantic relationship for the first time, and Challenging other’s beliefs about
homosexuality) had a mean value of at least 5 for positivity. The categories with
neutral positivity rating between 5.00 and 3.50 mean score were Experiencing a
gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting, Coming out to self, Having a gay
sexual encounter, Experiencing a challenge with one’s masculinity, and Encounter-
ing unexpected adversity (independent of sexuality).
Conceptual Categories of Experiences
The second research question concerned the conceptual maps that Black gay
college men implicitly use to organize their experiences. On the obtained concept
map, the first dimension (gay identity confusion vs. gay identity clarification) con-
tained Receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus center or organiza-
tion on one side of the map and Encountering unexpected adversity (independent of
sexuality) on the other. This indicates that Black gay college men experience a
range of experiences, from those in which their homosexual identity is confusing to
those in which it is clearer. The progression is also evident in the homosexual
identity development models.
In the second dimension (challenges with gay identity vs. contentment with
gay identity) Experiencing a gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting is on
one side and Experiencing a gay romantic relationship for the first time is on the
opposite end. This dimension illustrates some of the challenges (external and
internal) that participants encountered due to their gay identities and the content-
ment that participants eventually had with their gay identities, either through
campus services or personal relationships. The continuum is similar to the identity

78
development models reviewed in chapter 1. Some participants had grown through
their experiences in college to have a stronger sense of identity.
Cluster Analysis
The 13 categories of participant experiences were reduced to five clusters in
the cluster analysis.
The Personal Perspective cluster was concerned with the personal decisions
to challenge others’ views about homosexuality or to remain closeted about sexu-
ality in certain situations. This cluster explains the personal prerogatives, whether
they are vocal or not, to take a personal stance about gay identity. Based on previ-
ous research (Boykin, 2006; Crawford, 2002; Icard, 1986; Loiacano, 1993), Black
gay men may choose to remain closeted due to cultural issues and they may not
want to confront others for fear of exposing their gay identity to others. These
categories provide the personal perspectives of the participants that they make their
own choices on how to deal with being Black gay men.
The Validation cluster deals with participants seeking validation for them-
selves from friends, family members, or role models, or even through sexual
encounters. The homosexual identity development models (Cass, 1979, 1984;
Coleman, 1985; D’Augelli, 1991a, 1991b; Fassinger, 1998; Troiden, 1993) address
the coming out process for gay people and the importance for them to feel validated
by others. Although this can be a difficult process for some students, the need for
validation is important to feel a sense of belonging.
The Conflict cluster describes genuine personal struggles that participants
experienced while in college. Many of these conflicts were directly related to being
gay, but others were independent of sexuality. The Experiencing a gay community

79
that was unfriendly or rejecting category explains how participants were con-
fronted by unfriendly peers and struggled to build friendships. Some authors
(Boykin, 2005, 2006; De la Cruz & Kattar, 2006; Icard, 1986; King, 2004) have
noted that some Black gay men struggle to meet people in new environments due to
other people’s internalized homophobia and racism.
The Interpersonal Affirmation cluster is the opposite of the Conflict cluster,
including positive categories that assisted participants to feel comfortable with their
sexuality. Each category presented personal affirmations by participants in relation
to their gay identities, such as the establishment of romantic relationships or class-
room discussion that supported gay issues. As a result, this cluster illustrates
experiences that are consistent with being gay due to positive reinforcement. This is
seen through a need to find a positive group identification with others who are the
same as themselves (Fassinger, 1998; Johns & Probst, 2004; Porter & Washington,
1979; Savin-Williams, 2005; Sullivan, 1998).
The Divided Identities cluster addresses the contrasts between the dual
identities that Black gay men represent. The Having a direct experience with dis-
crimination based on sexual orientation and/or race category explained injustices
that these participants had encountered from their own Black and gay community,
whereas the Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity category described a
need to prove masculinity to Black peers due to their sexuality.
Among these categories, a clear divide resonated among the expectations by
these participants regarding their Black and gay identities. Neither the gay nor the
Black communities were satisfied with the dual identities of these participants and,
as a result, the participants struggled with separation in both communities. This was
a common theme from authors who wrote about the experiences of being Black and

80
gay (Battle et al., 2004; Boykin, 2005, 2006; Crawford, 2002; De la Cruz & Kattar,
2006; Icard, 1986; Loiacano, 1993; Neal et al., 2006; Porter & Washington, 1979;
Soule, 2006). Although the authors did not write about college experiences, it is
clear that Black gay men experience this divide regarding their dual identities,
regardless of their environment.
It is important to mention that the category Receiving friendly support from
a formal LGBT campus center or organization category was an outlier and did not
cluster with any other category. This category was unique because it addressed
support that the participant received from the college community, whether from
a LGBT center or a student organization. It is crucial for campuses to provide
supportive services (e.g., mentoring programs, discussion groups) for students to
assist with their identity development.
Limitations of the Study
Two types of limitations are addressed in this section: (a) participant
selection, and (b) validity of the findings.
Participant Selection
A limitation to this study was the manner in which participants were
selected, raising the question of whether this sample therefore represented the
undergraduate Black gay men population generally. Many participants were
recruited from LGBT resource center listservs across the country by the National
Consortium of LGBT Resource Center Directors. Therefore, students who were
recruited were or may have been active with their campus LGBT student services.
Based on this recruitment, the raters assumed that a majority of the participants had
received some form of support from or validation by their campus.

81
Moreover, some participants were recruited from Black student organiza-
tion listservs. These student organizations were selected at random and were asked
to forward an email announcement with the survey link to their constituents. Howe-
ver, this request process presented some complications. For example, one Black
organization did not feel comfortable forwarding the study announcement if the
primary researcher was not Black. This organization requested the racial identity of
the primary researcher and, once they learned that it was a “first-generation college
student who identified as Mexican American, the organization agreed to forward
the request to members, but there is no confirmation that the announcement was
actually sent.
As a result of this particular incident, a new strategy was used when sending
this study’s announcement to additional Black organizations. Instead of a direct
request from the primary researcher, prominent Black gay leaders in Los Angeles
and New York areas were recruited to assist in recruiting participants.
A majority of participants attend Predominantly White Institutions (PWI).
In fact, the announcement was forwarded to Historically Black Colleges and
Universities (HBCUs) but none of these students participated. The HBCU student
experiences would have provided interesting perspectives, since many of the
HBCUs do not have formalized LGBT centers or support groups.
Another limitation in the participant selection process was the decision to
include only students who had completed their junior and senior years in college.
The rationale was that these students would have more holistic experiences in
college when describing their experiences via the CYEQ. In addition, including
only juniors and seniors may have helped in collecting rich, thick experiences
because, at this point in their college lives, the participants may have been through

82
more experiences as a Black gay person than underclassmen would have had. Cass
and other homosexual development theorists explain the importance of identity
acceptance for gay students; as students progress along their gay development and
college careers, they may have enough acceptance of their gay identity to feel
comfortable to complete the CYEQ. However, the delimitation to juniors and
seniors presented difficulties in recruitment. As mentioned above, it was difficult to
find Black gay participants; to filter that into a smaller minority presented a tough
and long recruitment process.
Validity of the Categories
The validity of the categories created from the reported incidents survey
data could be called into question. The rater team of three doctoral students
analyzed the experiences into categories but their interpretations of the experiences
may have been different from what the participants intended.
A verification process of the interpretation of the experiences might have
helped in the creation of the 13 categories, especially for the positivity and impact
ratings. Such verification might have altered the categories and clusters.
Directions for Future Research
Based on the results of this study, three areas for future research could be
helpful in furthering understanding of the experiences of Black gay college men:
(a) investigate outcomes of the experiences, (b) compare and contrast the
experiences of Black gay college men with other racial gay student communities,
and (c) examine correlations between Black identity development and gay identity
development.

83
The CYEQ presented two questions that asked participants to describe their
college experiences: What do you think was important about this experience or
incident, and why? and What you believe the long-term effect to have been on your
sense of who you are? These questions asked participants not only to describe the
experience but also to explain how it had affected their sense of self.
However, the study did not utilize the descriptions for the long-term effect
on sense of self that were in some cases included with the experience description.
That would be an important kind of data for future researchers to use, having the
potential to create new conclusions about the effects that the experiences had on the
participants’ identity development.
The second area for future research is to compare and contrast the experi-
ences of Black gay college men with those of other racial gay student communities.
Studies modeled after this study could research the college experiences for other
racially diverse gay college men and compare and contrast multiple concept maps
for each racial group. Eaton (2007) conducted this same study but for gay students,
and a majority of his respondents identified as Caucasian. In his results, the experi-
ences were very similar to those obtained in this study. Major category differences
were this study’s Having a direct experience with discrimination based on sexual
orientation and/or race, Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity, and
Experiencing a gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting, which could be
associated with racism and cultural attitudes toward masculinity. These between-
studies similarities create a greater question about what the experiences are for
other racially diverse students.
The third area for future research is to examine the correspondence between
Black identity development and gay identity development. From the Divided

84
Identities cluster, the conflict between Black and gay identities was clear but Black
gay men may hinder their Black identity development because they may not
connect with the Black community due to homophobia. This aspect of having to
choose a community can be explored by correlating Black identity development
with gay identity development. For instance, these men may never reach the Cross
stage of internalization because they may not form a positive opinion of the Black
community. In the end, these Black gay men may not integrate into the Black com-
munity. Questions are then presented about their Black identity: Does this make
them less Black? Are they not fully developed into their Black identity? Often, the
Black gay men may feel that they have to choose between the Black community
and gay community and, depending on acceptance by either community, their
choice may help or hinder their development.
These questions could be answered through further research about the corre-
lations between Black and gay identity development. Although the two processes
might seem on the surface to be different, they are actually similar. For instance,
research by Cross and Cass has evident thematic similarities, such as having pride
for one’s identity and being confused about one’s Black or gay identity. These
similarities are also found in most identity development theories, but a compilation
of a Black and gay identity development through experiences in college could be a
possible revelation for future research. The impact of being a double minority on a
college campus, one minority visible through skin color and the other invisible by
sexuality, can be studied to advance understanding of the experiences of Black gay
men.

85
Implications for Practitioners
The most important implication for practitioners is to acknowledge that
Black gay men exist on their campuses. The stereotypes often associated with
hypermasculine Black men dominate the presumptions about Black gay men, as
evident in Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity. These men are strong,
masculine Black men and, therefore, it is presumed that they cannot be gay. This
cultural stereotype only hurts the gay community and perpetuates homophobia and
racism. Practitioners should become aware of the experiences of Black gay men in
order to provide adequate services to address their needs.
The research presented about racial minorities in the gay community (e.g.,
Rhoads, Stevens, Eliason, Renn and Bilodeau, and Tremble, Schnieder, and
Appathurai) addressed the feelings of isolation often associated with Black gay
men due to homophobia from the Black community and racism from the gay
community. The issues addressed in Having a direct experience with discrimina-
tion based on sexual orientation and/or race, which was the largest group of
experiences, clearly affected the college experiences of Black gay men. If these
men do not have a support network from either the gay community or the Black
community on campus, where can they find support?
At the 2007 conference of the University of California Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual, Transgender, and Intersex Association (UCLGBTIA), LGBT students
came together in a Queer People of Color Forum and addressed racism and
homophobia with which they consistently deal. The students spoke about how they
did not feel represented by the LGBT organizations on their college campuses or
nationally. In another meeting at this conference, the student affairs professionals
who work as front-line managers (e.g., program coordinators) for LGBT student

86
services talked about how they found it difficult to reach out to LGBT students of
color. A reason for this difficulty is that neither they nor the directors of their
LGBT centers typically are people of color.
From the research and the experiences reported by the participants in this
study, it is clear many Black gay men do not feel accepted or supported by their
campus resources. Practitioners must remember that LGBT people are diverse; they
come from many cultural groups, socioeconomic backgrounds, religious affilia-
tions, and so forth. It is important to acknowledge this diversity and provide sup-
port through programs, events, and services that address this intersection of identi-
ties to show the inclusion of diversity in LGBT student services. The University of
Southern California, for example, sponsored a Black QueerStory event in which
Black gay leaders from the past were remembered, present leaders were honored,
and future leaders within the community were acknowledged. The event high-
lighted current and future leaders from the campus as well as local Los Angeles
Black gay leaders.
It may be helpful for LGBT student services to take a multicultural
approach to their programming to guarantee that Black men as well as LGBT
students of color feel included and represented. Collaboration with the Black
student organizations or cultural centers could foster this inclusivity.
Directors or managers of LGBT student services must be educated about the
diversity issues within the Black gay community to be able to educate others about
current concerns for this population. It is as simple as searching the Web and
reading Black gay blogs or reading recent mainstream or empirical research, but
most important, talking confidentially with Black gay students to learn about their
experiences on campus.

87
REFERENCES
American Cancer Society, New England Division. (2003). Tobacco and the GLBT
community. Retrieved May 19, 2007 from http://www.glbthealth.org/
documents/GLBTTobacco.pdf
Battle, J., Bennett, N., & Shaw, T. C. (2004). From the closet to a place at the table:
Past, present, and future assessments of social science research on Black
lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender populations. African American Re-
search Perspectives, 10(1), 9-26.
Bilodeau, B. L., & Renn, K. A. (2005). Analysis of LGBT identity development
models and implications for practice. New Directions for Student Services,
11, 25-39.
Borgen, F. H., & Barnett, D. C. (1987). Applying cluster analysis in counseling
psychology research. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 34, 456-468.
Boykin, K. (1996). One more river to cross. New York: Anchor Books.
Boykin, K. (2005). Beyond the down low: Sex, lies and denial in Black America.
New York: Avalon.
Boykin, K. (2006). One more river to cross: Black and gay in America. New York:
Anchor Books.
Cass, V. C. (1979). Homosexual identity formation: A theoretical model. Journal
of Homosexuality, 4, 219-236.
Cass, V. C. (1984). Homosexuality identity formation: Testing a theoretical model.
Journal of Sex Research, 20(2), 143-167.
Centers for Disease Control. (1998). Suicide among Black youths 1980-1995.
MMWR, 47(10), 193-206.
Chickering, A. W. (1969). Education and identity. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Chickering, A. W., & Reisser, L. (1993). Education and identity (2nd ed.). San
Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Coleman, E. (1985). Developmental stages of the coming out process. In J. C. Gon-
siorek (Ed.), A guide to psychotherapy with gap and lesbian clients (pp. 31-
43). New York: Harrington Park Press.
Crawford, I. (2002). The influence of dual-identity development on the psycho-
social functioning of African-American gay and bisexual men. Journal of
Sex Research, 39, 179-189.

88
Cross, W. E. (1971). The Negro to Black conversion experience: Towards the psy-
chology of Black liberation. Black World, 20, 13-27.
Cross, W. E. (1978). The Thomas and Cross models of psychological nigrescence:
A literature review. Journal of Black Psychology, 5, 13-31.
D’Augelli, A. R. (1991a). Gay men in college: Identity processes and adaptations.
Journal of College Student Development, 32, 140-146.
D’Augelli, A. R. (1991b). Teaching lesbian/gay development: From oppression to
exceptionality. Journal of Homosexuality, 22, 213-227.
De la Cruz, B., & Kattar, P. (2006). Being a gay Black man. Retrieved July 14,
2006, from http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/interactives/
blackmen/blackmen.html
Eaton, D. C. (2007). The sources of impact in college gay male student identity:
The current student perspective. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Univer-
sity of Southern California.
Eliason, M. J. (1996). Identity formation for lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons:
Beyond a “minoritizing” view. Journal of Homosexuality, 30, 31-58.
Engstrom, C. M., & Sedlacek, W. (1997). Attitudes of heterosexual students toward
their gay male and lesbian peers. Journal of College Student Development,
38, 565-576.
Erikson, E. H. (1959). Identity and the life cycle. New York: International Univer-
sities Press.
Evans, N. J., Forney, D. S., & Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998). Student development in
college: Theory, research, and practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Fassinger, R. E. (1998). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual identity and student develop-
ment theory. In R. L. Sanlo (Ed.), Working with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender college students: A handbook for faculty and administrators
(pp. 3-12). Westport, CT: Greenwood Press.
Fivars, G., & Fitzpatrick, R. (2006). The critical incident technique bibliography.
Retrieved February 7, 2006, from http://apa.org/psycinfo/special/cit-intro.
pdf
Flanagan, J. C. (1954). The critical incident technique. Psychological Bulletin, 51,
327-358.
Goodyear, R. K., Lichtenberg, J. W., Tracey, T. J. G., Claiborn, C. D., & Wam-
pold, B. E. (2005). Ideographic concept mapping in counseling psychology
research: Conceptual overview, methodology, and an illustration. Journal of
Counseling Psychology, 52, 236-242.

89
Herek, G. M., & Capitanio, J. P. (1995). Black heterosexuals’ attitudes toward les-
bians and gay men in the United States. Journal of Sex Research, 32, 95-
112.
Icard, L. (1986). Black gay men and conflicting social identities: Sexual orientation
versus racial identity. Journal of Social Work and Human Sexuality, 4, 83-
93.
Johns, D. J., & Probst, T. M. (2004). Sexual minority identity formation in an adult
population. Journal of Homosexuality, 47, 81-90.
King, J. L. (2004). On the down low. New York: Random House.
Kosciw, J. G., & Diaz, E. M. (2005). The 2005 School Climate Survey: A report
from the gay, lesbian and straight network. Retrieved May 19, 2007, from
http://www.glsen.org/binary-data/GLSEN_ATTACHMENTS/file/585-1.pdf
Kruskal, J. B., & Wish, M. (1978). Multidimensional scaling. Beverly Hills, CA:
Sage.
Loiacano, D. K. (1993). Gay identity issues among Black Americans: Racism,
homophobia, and the need for validation. In L. D. Garnets & D. C. Kimmel
(Eds.), Psychological perspectives on lesbian and gay male experiences
(pp. 191-217). New York: Columbia University Press.
Marcia, J. E. (1966). Development and validation of ego identity status. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 3, 551-558.
National Coalition for LGBT Health. (2006). LGBT people and clean indoor air.
Retrieved May 19, 2007 from http://www.lgbthealth.net/downloads/
tobacco/factsheets/smokingcleanair.pdf
Neal, S., King, J. L., & Hinds, S. (Executive Producers). (2006). Black Entertain-
ment Television News: Down low exposed [Television broadcast]. New
York: BET Network, a subsidiary of Viacom, Inc.
Pascarella, E. T., & Terenzini, P. T. (1991). How college affects students. San
Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Patton, M. Q. (2002). Qualitative research and evaluation methods (3rd ed.). Thou-
sand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Phinney, J. S. (1990). Ethnic identity in adolescents and adults: Review of research.
Psychological Bulletin, 108, 499-514.
Porter, J. R., & Washington, R. E. (1979). Black identity and self-esteem: A review
of studies of Black self-concept, 1968-1978. Annual Review of Sociology, 5,
53-79.

90
Renn, K. A., & Bilodeau, B. L. (2005a). Leadership identity development among
lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender student leaders. NASPA Journal, 42,
342-367.
Renn, K. A., & Bilodeau, B. L. (2005b). Queer student leaders: An exploratory
case study of identity development and LGBT student involvement at a
Midwestern research university. Journal of Gay and Lesbian Issues in Edu-
cation, 2(4), 49-71.
Rhoads, R. A. (1997). Implications of the growing visibility of gay and bisexual
male students on campus. NASPA Journal, 34, 275-286.
Richardson, M., Meyers, H., Bing, E., & Satz, P. (1997). Substance use and psy-
chopathology in African American men at risk for HIV infection. Journal of
Community Psychology, 25, 353-370.
Roberts, G. W. (1994). Brother to brother: African American modes of relating
among men. Journal of Black Studies, 24, 379-390.
Savin-Williams, R. C. (2005). The new gay teenager. Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press.
Schultz, D. P., & Schultz, S. E. (1987). A history of modern psychology. Orlando,
FL: Harcourt-Brace.
Smith, F. (2005). Down for whatever. New York: Kensington.
Soule, T. (2006). The low down on the down low. Blade, 14(11), 12-20.
Stevens, R. A., Jr. (2004). Understanding gay identity development within the col-
lege environment. Journal of College Student Development, 45, 185-206.
Sullivan, P. (1998). Sexual identity development: The importance of target or
dominant group membership. In R. L. Sanlo (Ed.), Working with lesbian,
gay, bisexual, and transgender college students: A handbook for faculty and
administrators (pp. 3-12). Westport, CT: Greenwood Press.
Torres, V., Howard-Hamilton, M. F., & Cooper, D. L. (2003). Identity development
of diverse populations: Implications for teaching and administration in
higher education (ASHE-ERIC Higher Education Report, Vol. 29, No. 6).
Hoboken, NJ: Wiley Periodicals.
Tracey, T. J. G., Lichtenberg, J. W., Goodyear, R. K., Claiborn, C., & Wampold, B.
E. (2003). Concept mapping of therapeutic common factors. Psychotherapy
Research, 13, 401-413.
Tremble, B., Schneider, M., & Appathurai, C. (1989). Growing up gay or lesbian in
a multicultural context. Journal of Homosexuality,17, 253-267.

91
Troiden, R. R. (1993). The formation of homosexual identities. In L. D. Garnets &
D. C. Kimmel (Eds.), Psychological perspectives on lesbian and gay male
experiences (pp. 191-217). New York: Columbia University Press.
Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. (n.d.). Transgender. Retrieved October 19,
2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender

92
APPENDIX A

IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT MODELS

Chickering &
Reisser (1993)
Erikson (1959) Marcia (1966) Cross (1971)
Seven Vectors of
Development
Identity Formation Identity Status
Model
Model of
Psychological
Nigrescence
Developing Com-
petence
Oral-sensory
(trust vs. mistrust)
Diffusion Preencounter
Managing Emo-
tions
Muscular-anal
(autonomy vs.
shame and doubt)
Foreclosure Encounter
Moving Through
Autonomy Toward
Interdependence
Locomotor (initia-
tive vs. guilt)
Moratorium Immersion-
Emersion
Developing Mature
Relationships
Latency
(industry vs. infe-
riority)
Identity
Achievement
Internalization
Establishing Iden-
tity
Adolescence (iden-
tity vs. role
confusion)
Internalization-
Commitment
Developing
Purpose
Young Adulthood
(intimacy vs.
isolation)

Developing
Integrity
Middle Adulthood
(generativity vs.
stagnation)

Maturity
(ego integrity vs.
despair)

93
APPENDIX B

SEXUAL IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT MODELS

Cass
(1979)
D’Augelli
(1991a, 1991b)
Coleman
(1982)
Troiden
(1989)
Fassinger
(1996, 1997)
Confusion Exiting Heterosex-
ual Identity
Pre-
Coming
Out
Sensitization Awareness
Comparison Developing a
personal
lesbian/gay/bisexual
identity
Coming
Out
Identity
Confusion
Exploration
Tolerance Developing a les-
bian/gay/bisexual
social identity
Exploration Identity As-
sumption
Deepening
Commitment
Acceptance Becoming les-
bian/gay/bisexual
offspring
First Rela-
tionship
Commitment Internalization
/ Synthesis
Pride Developing a les-
bian/gay/bisexual
intimacy status
Integration
Synthesis Entering a les-
bian/gay/bisexual
community

94
APPENDIX C

COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE

Developing a sense of who we are occurs across time and in many situations. But college
often is unique in the ways it can affect that sense of self. Moreover, there often are par-
ticular incidents or experiences that stand out as having been particularly influential.

Think back over your experience as a college student and identify one incident or experi-
ence that had particular influence on your sense of who you are. This could have been
either positive or negative.

Please describe that incident or experience in a few sentences. Be sure to indicate
(a) what that incident or experience was,
(b) if another person or persons were involved in this incident or experience, describe them
and their relationship to you, and
(c) what do you think was important about this experience or incident, and why?
(d) what you believe the long-term effect to have been on your sense of who you are?

At what point in your college experience did this incident or experience occur (please check
one)?
Freshman year
___
Junior year ___ Other (please specify)
_______________________
Sophomore year ___

Senior year
___

Please respond to the questions below by circling the number that best represents your
answer.

Very Negative

Very Positive
Degree to which you experienced this in-
cident or experience as positive

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
The eventual effect this incident or experi-
ence had on your sense of yourself

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Source: Prepared by Vincent Eugene Vigil.

95
APPENDIX D

COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE
DEMOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

What is your sexual orientation? ______________
Age: _________ Gender: ___________________
Ethnicity: ________________
Standing in School: _________________
Name of College or University: _______________________________________

96
APPENDIX E

RANDOM PAIRED CATEGORY PLACEMENT CHART

Category 1
Category 2
Category 3
Category 4
Category 5
Category 6
Category 7
Category 8
Category 9
Category 10
Category 11
Category 12
Category 13
Category 1 0 65 46 39 51 60 41 44 48 50 48 59 54
Category 2 0 63 30 43 41 34 31 43 53 42 40 49
Category 3 0 35 40 39 29 33 35 40 43 39 36
Category 4 0 30 58 67 72 43 27 65 51 25
Category 5 0 38 37 32 52 71 39 52 63
Category 6 0 64 53 52 40 62 67 47
Category 7 0 74 46 39 55 51 39
Category 8 0 48 30 56 53 35
Category 9 0 56 47 60 51
Category 10 0 28 63 69
Category 11 0 35 33
Category 12 0 44
Category 13 0

97
APPENDIX F

COLLEGE YEARS EXPERIENCE CONCEPT
SIMILARITY RATING SCALE (CSRS)

Welcome
Hello, this is Vincent E. Vigil. I am a doctoral candidate at the University of South-
ern California’s Rossier School of Education. First, I would like to thank you for
participating in Phase One of my dissertation study about the college experiences
of Black gay, bisexual, or same gender loving males.

Secondly, thank you for expressing an interest in participating in Phase Two of this
study. This portion is fast, quick and easy. You just need to click on appropriate
boxes. Please click on your first instinct; there is no need to overanalyze your
choices.

Your participation in Phase Two will help me understand your opinion about spe-
cific categories created by a research team. The categories are based on the previ-
ous experiences collected from Phase One. The following webpage describes the
thirteen categories created by a research team.

I would greatly appreciate your participation in this final step of my study.

Please know that this survey is also anonymous and your contributions will enable
me to conduct quantitative analyses of the experience categories. The findings of
this study will help develop intervention strategies to better serve college students
like you.

If you wish to view a copy of the stamped approved version, please contact me at
vincenev@usc.edu

USC IRB #: UP-06-00355

Categories
1. Coming out to self: Students come to terms internally with their gay identity
after experimenting sexually with women.
2. Experiencing a gay romantic relationship for the first time: Students initiate dat-
ing or attempt to have a romantic relationship with other men.
3. Having a gay sexual encounter: Having sexual encounters with other men.

98
4. Experiencing a gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting: Students feel
they did not “fit in” with their gay peers on campus and some students mentioned
they felt uncomfortable socializing with other gay students because they were the
only Black gay student among the group.
5. Having sexual identity affirmed in the classroom, campus or local community:
Students experience a positive climate for gay students either in the classroom, on
campus or in the surrounding community.
6. Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity: Redefining their masculinity due
to their sexual identity.
7. Encountering unexpected adversity (independent of sexuality): Dealing with
personal struggles that may hinder academic achievement, i.e. some students ex-
plained how they had to take a semester off due to financial struggles.
8. Having a direct experience with discrimination based on sexual orientation
and/or race: Students experience either homophobia or racism on campus or off
campus.
9. Coming out to friends and family: Telling family and friends about their gay
identity.
10. Receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus center or organization:
Feeling accepted and supported by friends, through involvement with a formal
LGBT campus center or student organization
11. Making a conscious decision to remain closeted about one’s sexual identity:
Students make a conscious effort not to acknowledge their sexuality and avoid
public acknowledgement of sexual identity, and students have an internal debate
about whether or not to come out. As a result they decide to remain closeted.
12. Challenging others’ beliefs about homosexuality: Students challenge peers’
preconceived notions about gay people either through friendships, discussions or
simply being out on campus.
13. Having a positive gay role model: Students experience exposure to inspirational
gay peers and develop friendships with other Black gay people.
Demographic Information
Age: __________
Standing in school: ___________
What is the name of your college or university: _____________

99
Instructions
Now that you have read the 13 categories, we are interested in assessing how simi-
lar you view them.

Look at each question (1 to 78) below. Notice that the categories are paired to-
gether. Each line has 2 categories from the total 13. Please rate the extent to which
you view these two categories as similar using the scale below:

1=not at all alike 2=not alike 3=slightly alike
4=somewhat alike 5=alike 6=very much alike

For example:
If we ask you about “coming out to self” and “having a gay sexual encounter”
If you think that they are very much alike, you would circle 6.
If you think that they are only slightly alike, you would circle 3.

Paired Categories
Not
at all
alike
Very
much
alike
1 “coming out to self” & “coming out to friends
and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
2 “having a direct experience with discrimination
based on sexual orientation and/or race” &
“having a positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
3 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “having a positive gay
role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
4 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “receiving friendly
support from a formal LGBT campus center or
organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
5 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “making
a conscious decision to remain closeted about
one’s sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
6 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “coming out
to friends and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “chal-
lenging others' beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6

100

8 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “encountering unexpected
adversity (independent of sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
9 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “challenging others' beliefs about homosexu-
ality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
10 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “having a
positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
11 “coming out to self” & “making a conscious
decision to remain closeted about one's sexual
identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
12 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “receiving friendly support
from a formal LGBT campus center or organi-
zation”
1 2 3 4 5 6
13 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “having a direct experi-
ence with discrimination based upon sexual
orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
14 “coming out to self” & “having a direct experi-
ence with discrimination based upon sexual
orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
15 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “making a conscious
decision to remain closeted about one's sexual
identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
16 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “having a positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
17 “coming out to friends and family” & “having a
positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
18 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “experiencing a chal-
lenge to one's masculinity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
19 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “having a direct ex-
perience with discrimination based upon sexual
orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
20 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “making a conscious decision to remain clos-
eted about one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6

101

21 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “receiv-
ing friendly support from a formal LGBT
campus center or organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
22 “coming out to self” & “encountering unex-
pected adversity (independent or sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
23 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “coming out to self”
1 2 3 4 5 6
24 “coming out to friends and family” & “chal-
lenging others' beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
25 “making a conscious decision to remain clos-
eted about one's sexual identity” & “challenging
others' beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
26 “coming out to self” & “receiving friendly sup-
port from a formal LGBT campus center or
organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
27 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “making a conscious
decision to remain closeted about one's sexual
identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
28 “making a conscious decision to remain clos-
eted about one's sexual identity” & “having a
positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
29 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “experiencing a gay commu-
nity that was unfriendly or rejecting”
1 2 3 4 5 6
30 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “having a gay sexual
encounter”
1 2 3 4 5 6
31 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “having a direct experience
with discrimination based on sexual orientation
and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
32 “coming out to self” & “having a positive gay
role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
33 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “receiving friendly
support from a formal LGBT campus center or
organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6

102

34 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “encoun-
tering unexpected adversity (independent of
sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
35 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “having a positive gay role
model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
36 “coming out to self” & “experiencing a gay
community that was unfriendly or rejecting”
1 2 3 4 5 6
37 “having a direct experience with discrimination
based on sexual orientation and/or race” & “re-
ceiving friendly support from a formal LGBT
campus center or organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
38 “coming out to self” & “experiencing a chal-
lenge to one's masculinity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
39 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “having a sexual iden-
tity affirmed in the classroom, campus, or local
community”
1 2 3 4 5 6
40 “having a sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus, or local community” & “coming
out to friends and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
41 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “coming out to friends and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
42 “receiving friendly support from a formal
LGBT campus center or organization” &
“making a conscious decision to remain clos-
eted about one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
43 “having a direct experience with discrimination
based on sexual orientation and/or race” &
“making a conscious decision to remain clos-
eted about one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
44 “having a direct experience with discrimination
based upon sexual orientation and/or race” &
“coming out to friends and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
45 “having a direct experience with discrimination
based on sexual orientation and/or race” &
“challenging others' beliefs about homosexual-
ity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
46 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “coming out to friends and
family”
1 2 3 4 5 6

103

47 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “having a
positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
48 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “challenging others'
beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
49 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “receiving
friendly support from a formal LGBT campus
center or organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
50 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “having a direct experience with discrimina-
tion based on sexual orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
51 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “making a conscious decision
to remain closeted about one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
52 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “making a
conscious decision to remain closeted about
one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
53 “coming out to self” & “challenging others'
beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
54 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
55 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “en-
countering unexpected adversity (independent
of sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
56 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “experiencing a challenge to
one's masculinity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
57 “coming out to friends and family” & “receiv-
ing friendly support from a formal LGBT cam-
pus center or organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
58 “receiving friendly support from a formal
LGBT campus center or organization” & “hav-
ing a positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
59 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “experi-
encing a challenge to one's masculinity”
1 2 3 4 5 6

104

60 “receiving friendly support from a formal
LGBT campus center or organization” &
“challenging others' beliefs about homosexual-
ity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
61 “challenging others' beliefs about homosexual-
ity” & “having a positive gay role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
62 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “having a
direct experience with discrimination based on
sexual orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
63 “experiencing a challenge to one's masculinity”
& “receiving friendly support from a formal
LGBT campus center or organization”
1 2 3 4 5 6
64 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “coming out to friends
and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
65 “encountering unexpected adversity (inde-
pendent of sexuality)” & “challenging others'
beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
66 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “experi-
encing a challenge to one's masculinity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
67 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “having a positive gay
role model”
1 2 3 4 5 6
68 “coming out to self” & “having a gay sexual
encounter”
1 2 3 4 5 6
69 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “challenging others' beliefs
about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6
70 “having sexual identity affirmed in the class-
room, campus or local community” & “having a
direct experience with discrimination based on
sexual orientation and/or race”
1 2 3 4 5 6
71 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “coming out to friends
and family”
1 2 3 4 5 6
72 “coming out to self” & “having sexual identity
affirmed in the classroom, campus or local
community”
1 2 3 4 5 6
73 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “challeng-
ing others' beliefs about homosexuality”
1 2 3 4 5 6

105

74 “having a gay sexual encounter” & “having
sexual identity affirmed in the classroom,
campus or local community”
1 2 3 4 5 6
75 “experiencing a gay community that was un-
friendly or rejecting” & “encountering unex-
pected adversity (independent of sexuality)”
1 2 3 4 5 6
76 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “having sexual identity af-
firmed in the classroom, campus or local com-
munity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
77 “coming out to friends and family” & “making
a conscious decision to remain closeted about
one's sexual identity”
1 2 3 4 5 6
78 “experiencing a gay romantic relationship for
the first time” & “having sexual encounter”
1 2 3 4 5 6

Thank you
Thank you for your assistance with my dissertation study. I expect to finish this
research by June 2007. If you would like to learn about the study results, feel free
to e-mail me at vincenev@usc.edu. Again, thank you for participating in this im-
portant research.

106
APPENDIX G

PHASE ONE PARTICIPATION EMAIL REQUEST

Subject: Help Further the Research of Black Gay College Men

As you may know, the research about Black gay men is slim to none, especially
Black men in college. My name is Vincent Vigil (vincenev@usc.edu) and I am a
doctoral candidate in the School of Education at the University of Southern Cali-
fornia. My dissertation study attempts to uncover the college experiences that in-
fluence the development for Black gay, bisexual, same gender loving men.

The goal of this study is to uncover how unique experiences affect these men’s
lives while in college. I hope that through this research, colleges and universities
can better serve this minority population. Please help me to expand the research for
Black gay college men.

If you are a Black man in college (either a junior or senior) and identifies as either
gay, bisexual, same gender loving or on the down low, please participate in this
study. This study is anonymous and is no longer than 30 minutes. Click here
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=218282538076

USC UPIRB # UP-06-00355

Vincent E. Vigil
Ed.D. Candidate
Rossier School of Education
University of Southern California

107
APPENDIX H

PHASE TWO PARTICIPATION EMAIL REQUEST

Subject: Help with Phase Two for Research of Black Gay College Men

Thank you for participating in Phase One of my study and for volunteering to help
with Phase Two. This is Vincent Vigil and I would like your assistance again with
my study. As a reminder, my dissertation study attempts to uncover the college
experiences that influence the development for Black gay, bisexual, same gender
loving men.

The goal of this study is to uncover how unique experiences affect these men’s
lives while in college. I hope that through this research, colleges and universities
can better serve this minority population. Please help me to expand the research for
Black gay college men.

Please participate in this study. This phase is anonymous and is no longer than 30
minutes. Click here http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=569423349867

USC UPIRB # UP-06-00355

Vincent E. Vigil
Ed.D. Candidate
Rossier School of Education
University of Southern California

108
APPENDIX I

RESEARCH PROJECT INFORMATION SHEET

University of Southern California
Rossier School of Education
Ed. D. Program
Waite Phillips Hall, Room 802, Mailcode 4038
University of Southern California
Los Angeles, CA 90089-4038

INFORMATION SHEET FOR NON-MEDICAL RESEARCH

Sources of Impact on College Students’ Development: Describing and Map-
ping Their Experiences.

You are asked to participate in a research study conducted by Rod Goodyear, Ph.D.
and a research team, from the Rossier School of Education, Ed.D. Program, at the
University of Southern California. The results of this research study will contribute
to a dissertation.

You were selected as a possible participant in this study because you are in one of
the targeted college student subgroups who are the focus of this study. This is a two
phase study and 100 responses are necessary from each subgroup for Phase One. In
each case, 15 participants from Phase One, who indicate interest in continuing, will
participate in the second phase of the study.

Your participation is voluntary and you must be at least 18 years old to participate.
You should read the information below, and ask questions about anything you do
not understand, before deciding whether or not to participate.

PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
We are asking you to take part in a research study because we are trying to learn
the sources of impact (either positive or negative) that students in the targeted sub-
groups perceive to have affected their sense of who they are (i.e., their personal
identity). We also are interested to learn the manner in which students organize
these categories of experiences in their thinking. That is, the “cognitive map” they
impose on them.

Completion and return of the questionnaires will constitute consent to partici-
pate in this research project.

109
PROCEDURES
In the first phase of the study, you will be asked to reflect on your experience as a
college student and identify one incident or experience that has affected your sense
of who you are. The College Years Experience Questionnaire (CYEQ) asks you to
describe what the incident was, if another person or persons was/were involved,
why the incident was important to you, and what you believe the long-term effect
has been. The questionnaire also asks for basic demographic information. The
questionnaire should take you approximately one-half hour to complete.

If you would like to participate in Phase Two of this study, you can click on the
continuation option.

If selected to continue to Phase Two and wish to participate, you will be asked rate
the similarities of the categories of sources of impacts from the CYEQ on a scale of
one to six (1=not at all alike; 6=very much alike). Similar to CYEQ, this paired
comparison questionnaire is (called the College Years Experience Concept Simi-
larity Rating Scale; CSRS) will be posted on a web-based survey, depending on
your preference. If you participate in this phase of the study, the web address will
be emailed to you along with instructions for completing the CSRS.
The CSRS should also take about one-half hour to complete

POTENTIAL RISKS AND DISCOMFORTS
There are no anticipated risks to your participation. You may be inconvenienced
from taking time out of your day to complete the questionnaires. It also is possible
that in recounting an incident that was especially important to you, you may find
yourself experiencing uncomfortable memories.

POTENTIAL BENEFITS TO SUBJECTS AND/OR TO SOCIETY
You may not directly benefit from your participation in this research study.
However, there are potential benefits to the higher education community.
Specifically, it could be important to higher education professionals who work to
ensure that the college environment maximizes the opportunities to foster optimal
student development.

PAYMENT/COMPENSATION FOR PARTICIPATION
You will not receive any payment for your participation in this research study.

CONFIDENTIALITY
No information that is obtained in connection with this study can be identified with
you. Contact information that is supplied by Phase One participants will be stored
with a password on the online survey site.

110
The data from this study will also be stored in a password protected computer
and/or survey site. Only members of the research team will have access to the data
associated with this study. The data will be stored for three years after the study has
been completed. After the three year period, the data will be destroyed.

PARTICIPATION AND WITHDRAWAL
You can choose whether to be in this study or not. If you volunteer to be in this
study, you may withdraw at any time without consequences of any kind. You may
also refuse to answer any questions you don’t want to answer and still remain in the
study. The investigator may withdraw you from this research if circumstances arise
which warrant doing so.

RIGHTS OF RESEARCH SUBJECTS
You may withdraw your consent at any time and discontinue participation without
penalty. You are not waiving any legal claims, rights or remedies because of your
participation in this research study. If you have questions regarding your rights as a
research subject, contact the University Park IRB, Office of the Vice Provost for
Research, Grace Ford Salvatori Hall, Room 306, Los Angeles, CA 90089-1695,
(213) 821-5272 or upirb@usc.edu.

IDENTIFICATION OF INVESTIGATORS
If you have any questions or concerns about the research, please feel free to contact
the highlighted member of the research team:
Tony Arguelles – arguelle@email.usc.edu
Christopher Eaton – davideat@email.usc.edu
Roza Ekimyan – ekimyan@email.usc.edu
Paul Harrington – wharring@email.usc.edu
Merrill Irving – mirving@email.usc.edu
Jane Robb – jrobb@email.usc.edu
Virginia Sarkissian – vergenes@email.usc.edu
Michelle Stiles – mstiles@email.usc.edu
Surendra Verma – surendrv@email.usc.edu
Vincent Vigil – vincenev@email.usc.edu
Kimberlee Woods – woodsk@email.usc.edu

Rod Goodyear, Ph. D. - goodyea@usc.edu
Rossier School of Education
University of Southern California
WPH 1100A
Los Angeles, CA 90089-0031
(213) 740-3267

Date of Preparation: July 5, 2006 – Info Sheet USC UPIRB # UP-06-00355

111
APPENDIX J

COMBINED GROUPS SIMILARITY MATRIX

SELF
ROMANTIC
SEXUAL
UNFRIEND
AFFIRMED
MASCULIN
ADVERSIT
DISCRIMI
FRIENDSF
SUPPORT
CLOSETED
CHALLBLF
ROLEMODE
SELF 0 23 68 36 72 38 22 14 1 26 11 53 32
ROMANTIC 23 0 78 29 76 56 8 31 46 12 51 69 35
SEXUAL 68 78 0 30 74 66 34 62 6 49 52 73 10
UNFRIEND 36 29 30 0 39 18 75 13 71 33 15 48 67
AFFIRMED 72 76 74 39 0 59 55 70 40 21 5 7 47
MASCULIN 38 56 66 18 59 0 54 50 41 63 20 9 16
ADVERSIT 22 8 34 75 55 54 0 19 64 4 27 65 3
DISCRIMI 14 31 62 13 70 50 19 0 44 37 43 45 2
FRIENDSF 1 46 6 71 40 41 64 44 0 57 77 24 17
SUPPORT 26 12 49 33 21 63 4 37 57 0 42 60 58
CLOSETED 11 51 52 15 5 20 27 43 77 42 0 25 28
CHALLBLF 53 69 73 48 7 9 65 45 24 60 25 0 61
ROLEMODE 32 35 10 67 47 16 3 2 17 58 28 61 0

112
APPENDIX K

INCIDENTS ARRANGED BY OVERARCHING CATEGORIES

Having a direct experience with discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or race
(DISCRIMI)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Junior 1 2
Western Michigan University
During my college years, I went to predominately Caucasian/White majority gay clubs
because I had no knowledge of any gay clubs owned by African Americans in the area.
When in the Caucasian majority clubs, the white males would rarely look at me or speak
to me which influenced me to feel less than a person. This event was important because I
realized that racism was in society and in what was suppose to be the “gay community.”
The long-term effect was feeling no sense of commitment to the “gay community.” I feel
very strong for bettering the conditions for African Americans “in the life,” but no sense
of commitment to the overall gay agenda.

Senior 1 6
University of California, Los Angeles
As a business economics major, I am frequently surrounded by conservative individuals.
I remember hearing incredibly negative remarks made about homosexuals within a group
of folk in a finance class. This indicated to me that, as homosexuals, we must continue to
fight for equitable treatment and respect. Despite our right to express ourselves, we must
at all times remember that we do have something to prove and that we must earn and
demand respect. This experience amongst others encouraged me to speak to other gay
youth about the way they conduct themselves and the potential professional and personal
limitations that can be placed on them. We must exert our influence and rise to levels of
managerial excellence so as to dispel the rumors that homosexuals will not be respected
and cannot perform as well as heterosexuals in traditionally masculine fields such as fi-
nance and economics.

Freshman 1 1
Texas Southern University
Greek Fraternities and knowing the underline rules stays NO GAYS. being on campus
and seeing the interest meeting flyers and knowing that I could not be a part of this. I
knew this was the one thing on the campus I could not join not cause I was femine or
flamboyant. but of the principle and the fact i was out of the closet and was not retreating.

Senior 1 1
Georgia State University
The negative experience that I had was based on a classroom discussion. Somehow sex-
ual orientation was always being brought up by one of the students. We were discussion
public policy in general and before I knew it my fellow students brought up their inter-

113
pretations on the Bible. I have no idea how it happened but the classroom turned on me.
Some how this got back to my off-campus employer and I was fired for being incompati-
ble with the company. I looked into it and found that there was nothing I could do about
being fired in the state of Georgia. I pushed my orientation underground got another job
and finished school. Over the years I've seen more people fired for trumped up reasons,
but actually because they decided to be open about their sexual orientation. It isn't worth
losing everything you work to achieve. I'm in Law School now and it is important for me
to get a decent job, it won't happen if I decide to make my sexual orientation an issue and
I don't intend to work for little more than minimum wage after the money I'm spending.

Sophomore 3 3
Wayne State University
My experience at Central State made aware how Homophobia the Black College because
was no support groups or counseling for Black LGBT student most of the guys on Down-
Low so I was on the Down-Low on Campus. I transfer to Miles College in Birmingham. I
experience extreme Homophobia on Campus. I was sexual Harass by another guys on
Campus, I'm a victim of Gay-bashing but I was silence about my sexual orientation I'm
praying to God to Deliver out of at that school. It open me about how Black man very
insure cure about their sexual. God deliver out. my going to Black College it was open
my eyes. I'm still a struggle college student dealing with pass.

Senior 7 7
California State University, Northridge
I took a psychology development course that was completely unorthodoxed from the
start. It was taught by a Chinese woman who was very radical in her approach to the
course. The university was very displeased with the way she taught her course. While
should have been learning about Pavlov, we instead were learning about social and race
relations as it applied to psychology. There was lab after the class where we sat around in
a circle and spoke candidly about race and phobias. It got VERY honest because every-
one in the class trusted each other. My boyfriend and I of 7 years took the class together.
Some school mates knew as roommates while others knew us as cousins. My boyfriend
and I had a different story depending on who we were talking to at the time, so everyone
had a different explanation/definition of our relationship. Then one day, on the last day of
the lab, all of us were supposed to go around the circle and express what we had gotten
out of the course. My boyfriend went before I did. He admitted to the other students that
he was gay, but he didn't out me with him. About 7 other students went after him, then it
was my turn. I beat around the bush a long time and them admitted that I had been in a 7
year relationship. It was terrifying, yet gratifying both at the same time. Everyone's reac-
tion went from, Oh My God, to that is so cool. There were some people who said nothing
at all. In the class was another extremely alpha male african american man in the class.
We had befriended him, and played the “hard” role when around him. He was the one I
was most afraid to find out about us. As it turns out, he was one of the most easy-going
about it; however, hanging out with him after class lessened. All in all I think had more to
do with him socially than him personally. Personally he had no problem with it, but after
we came out publicly, he didn't want anyone to think that he himself was gay. Other girls
in the class wanted to ask questions which we welcomed, no matter how ignorant they
were. African american women in the class were deeply disappointed, but didn't reject,

114
but rather tried to get to the bottom of why we were the way we were. One thing that I'm
so happy of, is that most of the students had become really close to us. We were strait by
all appearances, so they never pre-judged us. It blew their minds that we were not only
gay, but had been in a 7-year committed relationship. I also got to express my disdain
with the notion that being gay is a choice. I explained that if I had to chose who I was, I
would've chosen the most socially accepted persona that was available. But went further
to say that I was proud of who I am. It was one of the most pivotal moments in my life.

Freshman 1 2
University of Wisconsin - Parkside
I have always been surprised by the number of Black people that just say things like
sweet, or gay, or soft, etc. There are people who don't even know me and don't want to
take the chance to get to know me. We had comedian Bruce bruce come to campus one
year and he made fun of this rather effeminate guy and everyone laughed. No one ques-
tioned Bruce they just laughed. The object of amusement was less then enthused.

Freshman 1 1
University of Wisconsin - Parkside
Black students destroyed all of the posters that had queer people in black history on them.

Freshman 6 6
Texas State University
I pride myself with my unique since of dressing and most of the Str8 boys @ my school
hate it but one day when I was getting my ass handed to me by sum stupid guys a football
player came up and told me I looked kool and those guyz leave me alone now.

Sophomore 1 3
Pacific University
I was hanging out with a few of my friends drinking in the dorms when they wanted to go
to another party that was happening. I was told by the people hosting the party that I
wasn't welcome because I am a gay black man and because of that, I scared them. I was
more shocked than offended at the time that people thought like that, and then I became
angry. I believe that this experience was important for me because it opened my eyes to
the discrimination that still exists in this world that I didn't experience a lot of where I am
from. I think I will just be more cautious about the areas I choose to live in the future.

Freshman 2 6
Ohio University
My SHADES (lgbt people of color) support organization that I started at Ohio University
hosts the National Day of Silence every year, and I sent out a mass email informing the
school of the event, we received a lot of support, but I personally receive a good number
of negative emails in response. I was called a faggot and a nigger in one of these, I traced
the email back and found out that it came from a person who I speak to from time to time
since we lived on the same floor in our dorm. It was at this point that it really hit me, I
have already grown up having to deal with racially discriminatory issues and now another
layer of prejudice was being added to my sweet cake of life. For a short while I felt I was
all alone once again like I felt when I first came to realize my sexual orientation, but I got

115
over it and it motivated me to reach out, teach and open the eyes of close minded indi-
viduals with my positive attitude and involvement on campus.

Freshman 5 7
Ohio University
The LGBT Programs Center puts out “Faces of Pride” posters and I decided to participate
and have my face put up on every floors of every dorm and college as a gay male. As a
result I experienced a few “friends” avoid me and stopped wanting to hang out with me
because they didnt want others to think they themselves were gay. This was saddening to
me, but on the other side of the rainbow, I had at least 100 people approach me saying
how much they admired me and appreciated me being myself, also there were a few indi-
viduals who came to me and actually came out to me...

Junior 1 2
University of Southern California
I went to a black party on campus with some friends. I really didn’t know any of the
people there because I am not really involved with the campus black community, but I
soon realized why. Everyone was staring at me and some of the guys were laughing after
making some comments. I didn’t know what was their problem, but my only guess is
because I am openly gay on campus.

Freshman 2 6
University of California, Los Angeles
My freshman year at school, my roommate was not cool with the fact that I am gay. He
made a huge drama to try to get out of the room with me. It sucked.

Sophomore 2 4
University of Southern California
On my campus, we don’t have many black students so I am one of a few. You can tell
you are a minority when you go to parties and you’re the only black guy there. One time,
I heard some of the white kids tried to jump a black group of kids for no apparent reason.
I stay away from the parties unless it’s people I know.

Freshman 1 1
California State University, Los Angeles
My first year on campus, the campus gay students of color group had a multi-cultural
LGBT program on campus and all the fliers were taken down by people overnight.

116

Coming out to self (SELF)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Junior 1 7
University of Southern Mississippi
My incident occurred when a fellow female student attempted to seduce me after I gave
her a massage. I realized that I did not get any pleasure out of it or her. Afterwards I re-
alized that I could no longer pretend to enjoy the company of a female.

Sophomore 4 6
University of Southern Mississippi
I first realized that I had to live my life for me it had become overwhelmingly evident
that I was not into women. I decided one night after coming back from my home town
where my girlfriend was still residing that I would no longer subject her to my unhappi-
ness. She was never perfect in my eyes. It hit me over the head that she was not for me
simply because she was a female. I loved her, not as my companion, but as a friend. I was
intimate with her only because I felt obligated to be intimate with her. She did not appeal
to me the way that the guys did that I noticed on campus. That night, when I decided to
break up with her and discontinue my need to satisfy my family and my mother, was the
night that I believe opened me up to possibility that I could be happy and free to be me.

Sophomore 3 7
University of Maryland, College Park
I got a massive crush on this (male) TA teaching one of the discussion sections I at-
tended. I wasn't really expecting to get a crush on another guy, so it was a bit of a surprise
and betrayal from what I had assumed I would like. So, I mulled about it for the last five
years or so, and recently got more-or-less comfortable with my sexuality.

Junior 5 6
University of California, Santa Barbara
The experience with the greatest impact on my sense of identity in college has been my
involvement with the department of Residential Life on the campus and the diversity/
identity training that employees of the department receive. Others involved were fellow
staff members who participated in the training with me, and who served as support and
mentors as I began to think about and discover more of my identity during the training.
Particularly of great help to me was a (gay) friend and mentor who provided me with the
comfortable space to share feelings that I never shared with anyone before. The experi-
ence gave me the space to open up with myself and truly be honest about who I was and
how my identity has been shaped through the course of my life. The long-term effect of
this experience has been to allow me to slowly come to be honest with myself, and my
friends about who I am, and what I believe.

117

Freshman 6 6
University of Southern California
I had a crush on a guy of the same gender. This second guy was straight, but was a very
good friend, possibly my very best friend during my first year at USC. This finally
proved to me that I was indeed attracted only to people of the same gender. After my first
year in college, and after this experience, I certainly became aware of who I am and never
looked back...

Junior 5 6
University of Southern California
In my third year of school, a fellow classmate (a girl) expressed an interest in me, I de-
clined. She was a classmate whom I knew only from one semester in college. i certainly
considered her a good friend. This was the “nail in the coffin” in terms of me deciding
that the opposite gender was not in fact where I would find the most happiness. Even
now, a few years later, when I look back on avoiding a heterosexual relationship with this
girl, I have no regrets and am thankful that I made the choice to not deceive women.

Sophomore 6 7
Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis
When I started attending college I identified as being gay, but never felt that that really
defined me or what and who I was/am. Recently I had a girlfriend for about 5 months
which led me to identify as queer instead of bisexual or gay. My ex girlfriend was a 24 yo
white female, who had already graduated from Smith College. She is very intelligent and
driven, and in many ways successful. She and I have remained friends since our break up.
This experience was important because it helped me to realize that there is more grey
area in sexuality than just being gay, straight, or bi. I feel as though I am just different.
When love finds me, it will be with a person. Not necessarily one of either sex more spe-
cifically. In the long-term I think that this realization has and will help me with my confi-
dence knowing that there is no right or wrong way to live my life.

Freshman 4 6
Pepperdine University
For a while I thought I might be Bi. I really liked a girl and she turned me down. She said
she didn't date bi men. After calming down my anger, I realized, I only wanted to date
her to fit in more and be more normal. However, I couldn't even see myself or want to
have sex with her. It helped me realize I can be who I am and I don't have to lie to my-
self. Long-term, it helped me become more comfortable with the fact that I may have
liked her, but enough to want to have sex with her. I got over it really quick. It was
probably best she turned me down anyway.

Freshman 4 4
University of Southern California
I had a cursh on a guy, let's call him Kai. He is.... no, i should use “was”. Okay, he was
way too cute that I thought he could not be stright. And we had a very ambiguous
relationship, like, we didn't seem just friends if you listen to what we were talking on the
phone. I didn't know that I am gay, but one day my mom heard that we're talking, and she

118
said “Is it the way you talk to your guy friend? That seems gay”. Since then, I started to
explore myself, to identify myself, and figured out that Kai was not gay. Damn it! (LOL)

Junior 4 7
University of California, Los Angeles
My last date with my girlfriend was due to me realizing I was gay. I had been as some
people say on the ‘down low’ for a while but never wanted to face my sexual attractions.
I had to stop dating a woman because I wanted a man.

Senior 6 6
University of Southern California
All my life I had a dream about my life, I was going to get married and have children, but
while in college I learned more about the homosexual lifestyle. I became a supportive
ally my junior year, which had a profound affect on me because I learned about the gay
community. I slowly began to question my sexuality and realized I was gay.

Having a gay sexual encounter (SEXUAL)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Junior 4 7
Western Michigan University
I was never completely satisfied or content with women, so I'd experiment with men
when ever I wasn't dating a woman. Many would probally consider me to be a down low
brother but I declared my privacy by maintianing my descression. Eventually, I got sick
and tired of living for others and pertending to want the opposite sex. I began to journal
and those excercises allowed me to embrace my own truth; so I broke up with my last
girlfriend and pursued a man. I'm happier now with more peace.

Freshman 5 4
University of California, Los Angeles
I was attending a gays night out with friends. I decided to stay the night at the house of
one of the friends. We were drunk but decided to do some ecstacy and we got intimate.
That’s all I remember but neither of us talk about it anymore he has a girlfriend and so do
I. He is in love with his girl and I like my girl more everyday, but I still think about that
time. I’m not sure if it was good enough for me to be full out gay but I did like it.

Senior 5 6
University of Maryland, College Park
After getting mildly injured in a traffic accident, I popped into some irc chats during my
convalencence with a male character and hooked up text-style with some other guys who
were online, then this girl, to see what it might be like. Random internet people who like
to hit on new users. Although I had a pretty good time with most of the guys, and the
quality of the netsex with the girl ranked in the middle third, it was definitely not as fun
for me. I decided it would probably suit me better to get a internet boyfriend rather than
an internet girlfriend for the near future.

119
Junior 3 4
University of Arkansas at Little Rock
After the death of my father, I then began to experiment sexually, as I was still a virgin at
21 yrs old. Some of those experiences where negative and others, not so. Most, however,
where with anonymous strangers met in bars and parks, etc. The aftermath was not as
positive as they shaped me to have difficulty in re-focusing my sense of self and value.

Freshman 6 7
Georgia State University
I was at Band Camp with Football players my freshman year in college, I knew I liked
guys but never acted on them until i was in college..To make a long story short here was
a jock and band student exploring what was told a taboo in our lives..we both walk away
better people because we now know that it is the same gender that we have come to ap-
preciate in our lives and love..he was later kick off the football team but reinstated the
following year and I lost my scholarship and had to move to another college.

Senior 6 5
Clark College
I was approached by a guy in the shower; caught him eyeing me, we went back to his
room. The experience was hot and intense.

Sophomore 6 7
University of Southern California
During the summer of 2006, I had lost my virginity to a guy I had met online. He doesn't
go to USC, nor is he a college student. It was somewhat impromptu but not entirely. Ex-
tensive talking online had occurred beforehand. I had approached the situation cautiously
and with an enormous amount of thinking over whether I felt that it was time for me to
experience the loss of my virginity to another guy versus the potential consequences of
that action. Essentially a weighing of emotional benefits versus emotional and--possibly--
physiological consequences. I had consulted a number of my closest friends about the
decision and prayed that I make the best one, while being well-informed. So I had de-
cided that it was time and that the circumstances of the situation (though a bit ambiguous
due to the nature of online dating) were relatively safe... a gut instinct, perhaps, or maybe
even spiritually guided. Afterward, the worst-case scenarios that I had envisioned were
never realized and the experience really opened up my perspectives on the issue of vir-
ginity loss and how that affects one's outlook on relationships and such. To my surprise, I
did not attach sexual intimacy with love which seemed to have been a natural--or simply
naive--reaction that I held. The experience was a fulfillment of a need that certainly lev-
eraged me closer to my current emotional state. Before, depression and negative thoughts
of not being wanted among other issues were plaguing me on a constant basis. After,
those issues no longer bother me as much.

Freshman 2 3
University of Southern California
I was “propositioned” anonymously when I was a freshman (18 years old). The guy (I'm
99% sure he was another male undergraduate student) contacted me by email, which he
probably got from the student directory, but we never met personally (as far as I know).

120
This was significant because it was my first sort of “homosexual occurence,” and came at
a time when I just starting to become curious. The long-term effect was a negative one,
because his advance was so unexpected, and because it was anonymous. I became mis-
trustful of his motives. I had this horrible feeling that I was being pranked, or worse, de-
liberately baited. It was 1999, and I knew that gay bashings were a very real possibility.
The experience made me extremely hesitant to open up concerning my sexuality.

Freshman 4 5
Brown University
During freshman year, myself and another student (as openly gay as myself) flirted and
spent a lot of time together. Around Thanksgiving, we finally kissed. For two days, it was
bliss, but after that he approached me and told me that nothing could ever happen be-
tween us because he had no one else to turn to. I was shocked into loneliness and depres-
sion, and spent the rest of the year pining over my best friend. I learned so much about
how I needed to have a developed sense of self before trying to “make myself whole.” In
essence, I had to realize that I was already whole before entering any relationship.

Junior 2 5
University of Southern California
I had sex with the head of the GLBTA, and after realizing he slept around a lot and that
he was just using me for sex, I realized that I was having sex with men to get them to like
me. I also realized that a lot of gay men see me as a large penis because I am black. After
this experience I started making friends and dating people who liked me for who I am and
I realized I have a lot to offer other than sex.

Receiving friendly support from a formal LGBT campus center or organization
(SUPPORT)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Sophomore 7 5
Western Michigan University
During my first year as an undergrad at WMU (I attended another college as a freshman
prior to WMU), I learned of an organization for gay students on campus. I was too afraid
to walk right in to the room, so I hovered in the hallway. Later a saw a couple of African
American males who I did not know and had never seen, go into the room. Seeing them
enter the room without fear gave me courage to enter. One of the males looked overtly
gay and the other did not. Seeing them helped me to feel that I was not alone. That night I
met them and began a friendship. This incident was the start to me accepting myself as a
same-gender affectionate man.

121

Sophomore 6 6
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
I met the president of GLBTSA (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Straight Alliance).
He was a black gay male as well. He introduced me to other gay people on campus. This
really allowed me to see that there were other facets to the gay community than sex. This
experience has let me become open and comfortable with who i am.

Freshman 7 7
Yale University
Before beginning my freshman year at Yale, I applied to participate in an early orienta-
tion program for minority students. Since graduating, the program has broadened to
become an early orientation program for all entering freshman. Essentially, the program
allows you to come to campaus a few weeks prior to the start of the freshmen semester to
become acclimated to the college setting. I found it personally impacting since I was the
first in my family to attend college. I met many of my closests college friends in this
program--friends, many of whom (like myself) eventually came out as gay men while in
school. In a way, we all became a tremendous source of support for on another at what as
a liberal but nevertheless still traditional Ivy League campus.

Freshman 7 7
Art Institute of Atlanta
During my freshman year, I made a lot of friends. Well, my birthday came up came up a
couple of months after the start of the first semester. my roommates, even though they
didn’t have a lot of money or knew me well at all, they throw me a great birthday party
with everyone we knew there. It was the first time anyone outside of my family ever
thought enough of me to throw me a b-day party. it made me feel like i was important in
this world.

Senior 5 6
University of California, Los Angeles
I think that all throughout college I didn't really care to think about my forming my own
identity. however, I think that going to my university's gay/lesbian/queer center for the
first marked the beginning of my journey into self discovery.

Freshman 7 5
Oregon State University
At Oregon State we have a queer week. During queer week I had went to a Drag show
that was on campus and was able to see how man gay and bisexual and lesbians where on
the campus. At first I thought I was alone but I soon realized that I was not. After I saw
so many that were like me I started to talk with others just like me and make me feel like
my sexual orientation was ok.

Sophomore 7 6
Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis
Recently I attended a call out for the beginning of a new student LGBTQA group. There
were both staff and students involved. Staff and students represented the entire LGBTQA

122
spectrum. This experience was significant to me because it gave me an opportunity to sit
with like minded people and voice my concerns for the LGBTQA community on campus,
and gave me a outlet for group association. Considering long-term benefits, I am not sure
how this will affect me. I hope that I will develope friendships with some or many of
these people.

Junior 7 5
Brown University
While sitting with a new freshman last year, the conversation got around to sexuality and
he emphatically stated “I'm so happy that you're gay. And I really mean it. I'm happy that
you are a homosexual man.” It was absolutely mind-blowing, simply because I'd always
viewed my sexuality as a problem, rather than something to be proud of. And that a
friend of mine found that a quality that he was truly happy about changed my life.

Freshman 7 7
Santa Monica Community College
An experience that affected my life would probably when I attended a gay alliance
meeting at school with my close friend. I then realized I could be myself (gay) publicly
with out feeling scared. The importance of the experience was a forever changing. From
that point on I was able to gradually feel comfortable in my own skin.

Sophomore 6 4
University of Southern California
During my sophomore year I felt intensely lonely and isolated which made me consider
leaving SC. I talk to different people who offered advice that didn't influence me to re-
consider until I talked to the staff in the CBCSA office and they suggested I get involved
with the black community at SC. I took that advice and found that it helped me to create a
sense of belonging. What I realized is that having a community of people you identify
with is a huge part of your success and happiness in college. In the long-term I think that
this experience taught me that confidence can be found in welcoming environments.

Encountering unexpected adversity (independent of sexuality) (ADVERSIT)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Senior 7 7
University of California, Los Angeles
I couldn’t pay my tuition and I had to leave school for a semester. It was negative; how-
ever, I was able to know what I wanted to do at school and no longer helpless in my own
life. I could come back, pay tuition, get the student loan I needed, and resume studies.
Overall, it was one of the best things that happened to me. I was more afraid of what
people would have thought of me.

123

Senior 1 4
University of California, Los Angeles
I worked in residential life as a hall director. The department head during that year was
in my personal opinions based on experience, an unethical individual who had a tremen-
dously negative impact on student and staff alike. The year culminated with my choosing
not to continue in the role as a senior despite my joy for the job – and in my decision not
to pursue student affairs as a career. This event provided me with first hand knowledge
regarding the importance of personal and professional ethics and equitable treatment on
all levels. This negative experience changed me in many ways but most importantly it lit
a fire within me showing that I must argue and fight for this, and it is our responsibility to
represent those who cannot represent themselves.

Junior 1 1
University of Arkansas of Little Rock
I was a true Junior in at the university and that was the year that my father took his life at
home. I had to withdraw that semester. His death was very difficult to overcome as he
never knew of my true self. I attempted to return to the university in Spring of 1985, but
was unable to focus and had to withdraw. I eventually returned in Fall and am succeed-
ing. The long-term effects of his death have at times shattered my confidence and my
experiences in trying to develop love relationships with other gay men.

Sophomore 4 4
University of Mississippi
This was my Sophomore year, I was dating a DL brotha, and I thought he really cared for
me, but he would never bring me around any of his friends so I confronted him one in
front of his friends and he tried to kill me...Never date a man or boy on the DL because if
he only wont to see you in the dark than you have no business with him in the first place..

Junior 5 7
University of Wisconsin-Madison
I had to leave school when I was lacking tuition; I was more worried about what people
thought of me instead of my education. Then I had to understand that my education be-
longed to me, no one else. It gave me ownership.

Senior 7 7
Buffalo State College
During school, I lost a dear person in my life. His death was very hard to deal
with...because the part of him that I knew wat the part I had to hide from his family be-
cause they did not know about his sexuality. It hurt because I couldn't morn the way I
wanted to for fear they would suspect we had be together. I remember deciding in that
funeral service that my family would know about the man I was with...I would hate to
pass and have somone sit unable to cry and say how they felt about me because I was
scared to share my sexuality.

124

Sophomore 1 1
University of Southern California
The issue of alcohol is used by nearly every college student except me. I'm afraid to be-
cause of the unloosining it does. People dumb stuff when they drink and reveal more than
they should, but for me, I can't reveal myself to others for what I want. Everyday, I see
with my eyes in others that desire I want, fascinated by their appearances, but I can only
see, and not touch. Once I've touched, I've transgressed and alcohol would do that to me.

Freshman 5 7
University of Michigan
My experience was struggling academically during my first semester. This experience
taught me that I'm not in college for other people. I'm here for myself and the better my-
self. I think this experience has made me more independent and goal oriented.

Sophomore 2 5
Santa Monica Community College
Trust, an emotion I was very loose with as well as drinking while on a trip in Los Vegas.
While in Vegas I was their with some friends, friends who I trusted. However the trust
was not mutual. i start drinking way more than my body could handle and they attempted
to take advantage of the situation. However one friend came through and stopped any-
thing from occurring.

Junior 4 7
University of Southern California
I was studying finance and hated it, but didn't get out of it because I was afraid to make
decisions on my own. After having a breakdown because of failing grades, I realized I
had to start doing what I wanted to do. I changed my concentration to business communi-
cations, which was one of the best decisions I have ever made. After this I realized that I
was afraid to make decisions on my own, and that I am a lot stronger than I thought.

Coming out to friends and family (FRIENDSF)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Junior 6 6
North Carolina Central University
Recently I admitted to my best friends (1 who is male, 2 females) that I was attracted to
and sexually active with males. This was very important to me because they are my best
friends, and my sexual preference is something I have to keep from my family, but it is a
part of me, and i am more able to be myself at college, so I wanted the key people in my
life to be aware. It was also important because it brought me a little out of the denial
phase. As far as long-term effect it has made me more comfortable with my sexuality,
and my friends are actually more comfortable with it than i am, so it showed me that my
friends were more than friends, but my family, and that they would support me.

Senior 7 7

125
California State University, Northridge
Coming out to my faculty and peers. I came out to the surprise of everyone during a
round table discussion about race, gender, and sexuality. The conversation was very
touching and many of my classmates shared very private emotions and experiences in
their lives I had grown very close to my classmates during this course. When it was my
turn to talk I opened up about my sexuality and my reasons for being closeted on campus.
Many of my classmates cried because they were touched by the admission. Right after
me my boyfriend came out and admitted we were a couple. The experience actually
brought us all closer together. Our coming out offered my classmates and faculty an op-
portunity to challenge many of the stereotypes they held about gay men. It helped build
my confidence as a man, not just gay man.

Senior 7 7
Clark College
Went to a gay bar and ran into some classmates who are gay. We all talked about being
gay in Atlanta with all the hot men here.

Junior 4 6
University of California, Santa Barbara
I think particularly of the moment in which I “came out” to my close friend and mentor. I
simply told him that one of the band members was “fine,” and that was my way of telling
him that I was attracted to men. This person was a close friend and also a co-worker with
whom I had had a growing friendship for a number of months. The experience was im-
portant because it was the first time that I admitted being attracted to men to any close
friend. The long-term effect is that it was in that moment that I began to work on being
more and more comfortable with revealing information about my sexuality to others.

Sophomore 7 7
Pepperdine University
Being honest with my fraternity about my sexuality. I had to have individual conversa-
tions with almost everyone in the brotherhood. This was important so they could under-
stand who I am as a person. The long-term effect is that they understand me, who I'm
dating, and aren't in the dark. It has made our relationships more honest.

Sophomore 7 7
Pepperdine University
When I finally came out to my closest friend here at college. It was probably one of the
more difficult things because we are so close and I was unsure of how she would take it.

Junior 5 5
University of Southern California
I decided to tell two different people that I was gay because they were my friends and I
no longer wanted to hide it from them. The first friend that I told was a Christian and
their response consisted of intense shock followed by them telling me about what God
and Jesus Christ can do for a homosexual. It was what I expected and I felt as if after
telling her this our relationship was not the same because I felt as if she would look at me
from then on as a sin sick homosexual who needed to be saved. The other friend I told

126
responded by telling me that they kinda already knew and they accepted with no condi-
tions or lectures, it felt good. What I think is important about these two incidents is that I
realized the huge impact outside affirmation has on your identity. I'm glad this happened
because it allowed me to learn how to surround myself with people who will accept me
unconditionally rather than compromising who i am to fit in. In the long run I will be
more confident in who I am and try not to allow the opinions of others to affect seeing
myself in a healthy light.

Freshman 5 7
Emory University
The most influential period was my coming out at college. I had recently lost my best
friend at college because of rumors that we were a couple, but I had the support of the
freshman women in my class who helped me cope. Later my friend, himself, came out,
but it was this experience that provided me the strength to then come out to everyone on
campus and to my family and friends at home.

Making a conscious decision to remain closeted about one’s sexual identity (CLOS-
ETED)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Senior 6 6
Western Michigan University
Before I could actually admit to my family that I was gay I tried church, confessions,
depriving myself from sex, promiscouity with women and considered suicide. In the
thought of dying I began to cry because I knew I'd hurt more people than I could imagine.
This moment represents the first time I took ownership of my genuine feelings and inti-
mate yearning for a man. I quickly made a list of my wants but expereince has taught me
not to hold my breath for my Ideal gay Black Man as a partner.

Sophomore 1 1
Texas Southern University
I remember a time when students in class were discussing homosexuality and I was
scared to speak up and defend the subject matter of beinf found out about my sexuality.

Sophomore 1 3
North Carolina Central University
I was hanging out with a lot of people, all who were gay or bisexual (i didn't know at the
time), and I had not come out to anyone yet, but one of my friends who was in the group
knew. After a lot of drinking he made a comment about me being gay. I don't know for
sure why the experience is so important to me, but it is something that i would never
forget. I do remember feeling very ashamed and I did isolate myself from the friend. As a
long-term effect I do kinda keep my business to myself, and I did deny my sexuality
longer because of it.

Senior 1 7
Syracuse University

127
I found out that my uncle was HIV positive, only after he had been so ashamed to let
anyone know that his immune system had been complete compromised. My uncle was a
black, gay man. As am I, but we were both closeted, and I was so closeted I wouldn't
even let him know for fear that my whole family would find out. I guess that was his fear
as well, for he soon became hospitalized and died in March 2000. I had not come out at
this time. My background was very religious, where even though I knew I was gay I just
wanted it “out of me.” My family was strongly Baptist, and I even went to a Baptist Uni-
versity, Baylor University, for my undergraduate studies (not because I was gay, but it
did make me even more determined to hide my sexuality). After my uncle died however,
everything changed. I heard the comments from family almost blaming him for being
infected. Attacking his sexuality and “those nasty gays” exactly as he feared. It broke my
heart, at first. Then, it angered me. I knew then that I was going to come out. But it would
be another six months before I did. I knew of no one who was black and gay and had no
one to turn to. I felt a lot of guilt after my uncle died because I could have helped him and
he could have helped guide me in my coming out process. But I wouldn't be silent any-
more, in hopes that it could help someone else not make the same mistake.

Junior 1 5
Syracuse University
I was very active with a number of organizations on campus, including the Association of
Black Students and Baylor Chapter of the NAACP. My self-esteem was very low back
then, but joined in hope of making new friends. There was something odd about the in-
teraction with the people I knew. Outside of meetings there was almost an invisible wall
around me and some of the other students. I remember one guy was so afraid of being
seen talking alone with me he kept looking over his shoulders to make sure no one saw
him. I later found out from a friend that there was a rumor on campus about all the black
students who were suspected of being gay, and I was on the list. I suspected it was after
two girls I knew had made obvious interest in my and I showed absolutely none in them.
The rumor mill was fast and strong in such a small community of color on such a (then)
small campus. I worried about everything after that, because Baylor has a policy on the
books that being openly gay is grounds for removal from the university. Imagine that.

Senior 7 7
California State University, Northridge
The incident was being caught telling contradicting stories about the nature of me and my
boyfriend's relationship. We often told people we were cousins or brothers. One day we
told differing stories to the same person and had to attempt to cover it up. That's was
when I realized that I was tired of pretending to be someone that I wasn't. I learned that I
would never be comfortable as long as I feared other peoples perception and judgment of
me. I learned to let go and be who I really am in spite of others. I am much more fulfilled
and balanced as a person.

128

Senior 3 4
University of Southern California
This year, I have a single dorm room and a T3 internet connection. I download a fair
amount of gay porn. I left one video on the desktop instead of moving it directly to a
folder as I usually did, and left the room for something. One of my friends/hallmates
came into the room and apparently “discovered” the porn clip. He made a non-
threatening comment about finding it, but I still became totally paranoid he would tell our
other hallmates what he'd found, and I'd be outed. I think I avoided him for the next four
or five days, and we never mentioned it again.

Experiencing a gay romantic relationship for the first time (ROMANTIC)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Sophomore 7 7
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
I had my first date with another guy. He was really cute and smart; he was one of my co-
workers at Abercombie and Fitch. He is Salvadorean and did I mention cute! We had
dinner and saw a movie. This experience has opened me up to dating and being myself.

Junior 3 7
University of Wisconsin-Madison
I had a horrible break up with an ex. We had personality differences; and it was ex-
tremely difficult for me. I always wanted to project this image that we were a functioning
couple. But it wasn't that way.

Freshman 7 7
Yale University
Another important experience was meeting my first boyfriend while a freshmen in
colllege. The experience was important because it was my first time being in same-sex
relationship that was out in the open in the sense that we both had friends who know we
were a couple. This relationship also became the catalyst for my eventually coming out to
my parents. I think the fact that the relation was with another black man, who was also a
freshman at the time, was also significant. We came from similar working/middle class
backgrounds and Yale was a far stretch from any experience any of our relatives and
friends from back home had had.

Freshman 4 6
University of Southern California
A guy also from USC had established contact with me through Facebook during the
second semester of Freshman year in 2005. We had talked online with each other for
about three to four weeks before even meeting in-person. I was physically attracted to
him at first and after some time for talking I had begun to make some sort of emotional
connection. After this period, we met in-person and soon thereafter socialized like normal
friends with added sexual benefits. He was the first guy that I've ever had serious sexual
contact with so the relationship set a precedent that had positive and negative

129
implications that I painfully discovered 3-4 months later. I assumed that we were in a
closed relationship, which I had misinterpreted. Whatever relationship we had was
broken off upon that realization. He has asked me if I would take everything back if
given the chance. I gave it thought and decided I would not because, in spite of the
dangerous emotional state that I was in, it was an inevitable incident that I learned from
and grew in my understanding of intimate relationships and what is reality and what is
not. Without that wreck of an experience, aside from others since then, I certainly would
not have achieved the much more stable and learned emotional state I'm in today, almost
two years later.

Freshman 7 7
University of Southern Califorrnia
I had my first boyfriend and first date. I realized that night that I had a lot of misplaced
rage. I was angry that everyone (it seemed) around me could freely express their sexual-
ity, find love, and fall into it. Turns out I was confined by my own cowardice. We broke
up several months later, but if I had to pinpoint the moment where I let go of my suffo-
cating, all encompassing shame it would be that on that date, when he held my hand in
the concert hall.

Sophomore 7 7
Pepperdine University
My sophomore year of college, I met my boyfriend. Before then I was not out. He
changed me in so many ways, for the better. I am more aware of myself and my sur-
roundings.

Sophomore 6 6
Xavier University of Louisiana
The first time I was fully intimate with another guy changed completely changed my life.
When I was next to him, and communicated with him, I felt as if I was finally interacting
with another human being in the way the uniquely meant for me. When I held him, and
he held me, it felt better than the way it had with my ex girlfriend. This was very impor-
tant for me, because it affirmed that my longings were more than mere desires, they were
necessities for me.

Experiencing a gay community that was unfriendly or rejecting (UNFRIEND)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Junior 5 4
Wayne State University
I transferred to Ferris State University a predomanly White university in Big Rapids,MI it
was a very liberal school it had a LGBT Student groups on Campus it all white gay Stu-
dents. all the Black gay student was scared to go. I went but I feel like a outsider, on
campus at Ferris State you saw a like openly White gay/lesbian Students handing
hands/kissing on campus. but most Black Brothas was on D.L only in our school's gospel
Choir called Ferris State Gospel Choir you saw a lot openly Black gay men. but I love my
Ferris State

130

Freshman 3 1
Cornell University
In thinking about my sense of self being affected, I'm forced to recount a social experi-
ence rather than an academic one, so I hope that's ok. My first off-campus party with
members of the local gay male community exposed me to a very homogenized view of
what was desirable among these men. I therefore felt extremely out-of-place, awkward
and undesirable. This experience eventually lead to a lower self-esteem and a kind of
“take whatever I can get” attitude, because I couldn't make room for what I looked like
with what they were looking for. Slowly, that poor sense of myself is shifting and be-
coming more positive, but I will never forget what that felt like and I still think that be-
cause of it there are circles that I will never feel good enough to travel in - no matter how
many people tell me how attractive I am.

Junior 3 3
University of California, Los Angeles
Well, as an undergrad student in Los Angeles, I don’t really have a lot of friends or ways
to connect to the social aspect of the college experience. It is also very difficult to con-
nect with other black students who were not gay. So as a result I have feelings of alien-
ation. Which has been a ongoing problem.

Freshman 6 6
Ohio University
When I first got here I met a lot of gay people and a lot of them were upperclassmen. I
heard a lot about the gay culture here from some of my straight that go here. Many of my
friends told me that I was just going to be a slut and lose my virginity and end up getting
a STI. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react, either lose my morals or stick with them
and not become the slutty gay freshman. So I got and still am getting many offers to sleep
with or fool around with allot of guys on campus and I say no. And it showed me that i
can keep my morals while in college and not go with the flow of things.

Freshman 3 4
University of Southern California
When I first came out of the closet, I tried to make friends with other gay males in the
community, of which I was rejected. At the time I was overweight, had no sense of style
and very low self esteem, and the one gay friend that was aforementioned discussed how
many gay men will not be friends with someone they are not attracted to in some way.
Feeling horrible, I went on a diet, ate right, and lost nearly 40 pounds. When I came back
next year, amazingly all the ones who had shunned me before wanted to be my best
friend. This has always caused to never fully trust any other gay male, because I feel
there is some motive behind every action.

Sophomore 7 5
University of Southern California
I attempted to go to a local gay party. The straight women were friendly, but the gay men
were not. I never hung out with these people again. It was a positive experience because
I learned that people are shallow and are going to dislike me because of my appearance.

131

Having sexual identity affirmed in classroom, campus center or local community (AF-
FIRMED)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Freshman 7 7
University of Arkansas at Little Rock
In my freshman year I took a class for my architecture major called concepts and theory.
The class really taught me to look at the underlying symbols and situations that really
occur in the real world and not to judge others based on appearances alone. The book I
had to read really helped me with these ideas. The book basically was a collection of
essays by Jewish philosophers using architecture as a metaphor. It really helped me , and
so did the professor, to mature significantly in a year's time. Now I definitely do not
believe in God , but I believe that we are basically the creators of our own destiny, in a
sense , we are gods in our own particular right. And I also changed my major because of
it. Social Work is definitely now what I want to do , I really wan to help people, and if I
can , help gay black men in particular in school.

Freshman 7 7
Xavier University
I was elected to our student senate in September of my freshman year. The experience
was memorable because it provided me with lifelong mentors, opportunity to experience
real government at work, develop a passion for politics and gave me a sense of purpose
early in my college career.

Senior 7 7
California State University, Northridge
I took a brain and behavior course from a Doctor of Neuropsychology. One day in class
he went on a long tirade about how homosexuality was not a choice. He presented dozens
of studies that had emperical evidence that the brains of gay men and transgendered
people are not the same as everyone else's (lesbian women's brains tended to be normal
when compared to their heterosexual counterparts). Here it was! The evidence I had been
looking for my whole life! Scientif proof that i wasn't strange. Scientifiv proof that I had
no choice in my sexuality. I fell in love with the class, the teacher, and neuropsychology
after taking this course.

Senior 7 7
San Francisco State University
Going to school with a large gay community has made a huge impact on my educational
experience. Being able to make friends that have similar interest and a common ground
has and is having a very postive effect on me and my over mental health.

Freshman 7 7
New York University
As stated before, I had a plan when I came to New York to accomplish my dreams and
goals. Starting right when I turned 18 (last year) I became active in New York's unique

132
nightlife scene, building connections in fashion, press, and club music for my budding
career.

Freshman 7 7
Texas State University
I think the experience that I had that really influenced the way that I am is when I started
going to clubs and realizing im fabulous. I was sitting in this club rain and I saw these
Guys BUCKIN' and like now thats all i do. so yah

Challenging other’s beliefs about homosexuality (CHALLBLF)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Senior 7 7
University of Southern California
Being told by a classmate who hailed from a small conservative town that I changed his
perception about who/what gay people are. This classmate was someone who was in two
of my classes in the same semester and someone I collaborated with on a project. This
incident not only changed one person’s stereotypical perceptions about bring homosex-
ual, but also allowed him to see that no matter what persuasion one may be they need not
fit into a box. The long term effect this has had on me is that I allowed me to take owner-
ship of myself as a gay man, and helped me to realize that I need not subscribe to a
certain persona or ideology simply because I identify as gay.

Freshman 3 3
Morgan State University
There was this guy who I immediately became friends with. It was completely platonic,
but he kept saying things to me in a joking manner about how I was not man enough like
him, because I didn’t like basketball or I would prefer bowling over basketball, and that I
need some pussy because I was tense. Eventually I just stop acknowledging his existence
because he kept trying to emasculate me.

Junior 5 6
Cornell University
In being interviewed by a friend of mine for a paper he was writing, he asked me to
chronicle my experiences with a particular group on whose executive board he sits. This
friend of mine is a white bisexual (I think) male, not that it matters tremendously and we
are just friends. During the course of this interview, he noticed a trend in my speaking
about the group which downplayed my involvement in the active shaping and assistance
of the group. His comments made me realize that I was only categorizing “involvement”
as direct involvement with the executive process and completely ignoring the other things
that I ended up doing for the organization on a yearly basis. This ended up changing my
view on being involved somewhat and allowing me to realize that you don't necessarily
always need to be a leader in every situation to be helping to make a difference, despite
the propoganda that is so prevelant in the black community about succesful black men
being few and the superb importance of being a leader. After a while, it had become my
battle cry and if I wasn't leading it, then I obviously wasn't a part of it.

133

Freshman 5 5
Pacific University
During my freshman year I was one of the few openly gay students on my campus of
1100 students. People had a lot of questions for me, seeing as how I am a minority in
more than one sense. It was a good experience for me because it allowed me to educate
people and I also learned a little bit about culture outside of urban and large suburban
areas. I know this isn't a specific incident, but it had a big impact on me, and that was that
people generally want to know the unknown, whether it is to not be scared of it anymore,
or because they are truly interested.

Experiencing a challenge to one’s masculinity (MASCULIN)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Sophomore 1 1
Georgia State University
During my sophomore year I lived in university sponsored housing, I had a friend fall
asleep on my bed in my room. The next day my three room mates started calling me a
“homo”. It started to get real ugly on campus in general for me. It wasn't until I screwed a
girl in the room that weekend that it stopped. I moved out into a dumpy apartment off
campus at the end of the school year. I never got too close with any of the guys after that.
I really do have a hard time making male friends. I've become very private about my life
in general.

Senior 7 7
Buffalo State College
I always find myself trying to project the stereotypical black male in all his bravado and
hip-hop attire. I thought of course, if I projected this person, my sexuality would never be
questioned. Although I was in a meaningful relationship with a man during my Freshman
year, I still told myself that I needed to prescribe to the heterosexual norms set around
me, and so I found myself constantly giving off a hard exterior. After sharing with my
mother that I was gay in my sophomore year of undergrad things got better, I started
thinking less and less about the norms set in place and allowed myself to be seen with
doing things that would make someone suspect that I could be in fact gay. It was a battle,
I had the support of my family, who never questioned or teased me, but I had black cul-
ture constantly reaffirming my weakness in being gay. The second semester of my junior
year I went abroad to London. It was in Europe that I had embraced my sexuality and
come to terms with what I felt was expected of me by others. I found that in Europe I was
never subjected to knowing the things that straight black men should know or do for that
matter. There was a sense of freedom in my identity; I was allowed to display the many
sides of me and became so comfortable in that space. My return to America wasn't ex-
citing, I knew I had to finish my education here and continue my studies over here as it
would be too costly abroad. But I have remained comfortable in my skin, just as I did
abroad. I've embraced who I am. I don't feel the need to share my sexuality with every-
one, but I know that I am gay. I still worry about what some may perceive, but at the end
of the day I'm happy just knowing how far I've come in loving everything that is me.

134

Senior 3 7
Emory University
Another was during senior year when I used an example that included a same sex couple
during class. Even though I was out to most classmates, the hesitation from the professor
resonated throughout the room I was fearful that the revelation would influence my grade
but after the incident it only bolstered my truth.

Having a positive gay role model (ROLEMODE)
Year of Occurrence Positivity Impact
Senior 7 7
University of California, Los Angeles
I went to New York to visit a friend of mine who is very out. We have been friends since
high school and he invited me down so I could see what I was missing. He is one year
older and works in PR. We went to a gay club and I had what I can definitely call the best
time of my life! It lasted about two hours but the atmosphere and the people were amaz-
ing, freer than LA and very secure in who they were. People in New York generally seem
to be less taken up with what others do just so long as you stay out of their personal
space. Here UCLA is a little more conservative and very few blacks attend this school. In
LA in general the gay community is a synonym for the white/asian gay community and
that is reflected at UCLA. I felt like in New York there was a tangible black gay com-
munity - brothers that would talk up to you on the street, the clubs, the parties - generally
the support was definitely felt. Now I feel like it is possible to be both black and gay and
enjoy my youth without having to have sex with girls as a front. Fucked up really - even
ironic - but I just felt like image mattered less when I was in NY than it does when I am
in LA. Image being straight image. Even doing this survey I feel like I should hold back
so I don't come off as being too gay or whatever - ah fuck it.

Freshman 7 7
University of California, Los Angeles
The Chair of the African Student Union came out as a Lesbian my freshman year giving
me the courage to come out myself. The actual process of coming out however, was pro-
pelled by my attendance and a conference for the United States Student Association
which I later took an active role in - mainly around queer people of color issues. It has
allowed me to be comfortable with my identity, but that process is still ongoing.

Freshman 7 7
University of Southern California
Being in college are my first experience with any sort of contact with other gay men and
women. I had known I was gay for a few years but then, but always had convinced my-
self that I would just live a life not acting on it and hiding it from my friends and family
forever. I remember specifically making my first gay friend, and I was so envious of him
because he could be completely open and had such pride and no regrets pertaining to the
fact that he was gay, and it was inspirational for me. He was the reason I started to come
out to people, because I wanted that sense of freedom. As for long-term effects, it has

135
caused me to never hide who I am to anyone, because it just feels too good to be able to
truly be who I am.

Abstract (if available)

Abstract This study examined two primary research objectives: (a) to identify the factors that traditional-age (18- to 22-year-old) Black gay college men at 4-year institutions perceived to have affected their identities, and (b) to determine how Black gay college men conceptually organized those factors of impact. Phase One of this study collected 101 experiences through the College Years Experience Questionnaire (CYEQ) from traditional-age Black gay college men. The CYEQ used the critical incident technique to collect written student descriptions about particular experiences that had influenced their sense of identity. Participants were also asked to rate their experiences on a 7-point scale to discover whether the experience was positive and uncovered the eventual effect on their sense of self. A team of three doctoral raters identified 13 categories from the 101 experiences.

Linked assets

University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses

Conceptually similar

PDF

The sources of impact in college on gay male student identity: the current student perspective

PDF

Discovering the sources of impact of college on LGBTQ students' identity development and mapping those experiences

PDF

Concept mapping of the sources of perceived impact on community college students' identity development: a students' perspective

PDF

Describing and mapping the sources of college impact on the identity development of African American college students attending a predominantly white institution

PDF

From their perspective: discovering the sources of impact on older women undergraduates' identity development and mapping those experiences

PDF

The sources of impact on first-generation Latino college students' identity development: from the students' perspective

PDF

Undergraduate single mothers' perception of the impacts of college on their cognitive and psychosocial development

PDF

Student perspectives on identity development: describing the experiences sorority members perceive influenced their identity

PDF

More than one barrier to break: mapping the impact of college on identity in Latina undergraduates

PDF

Executive realness: examining the identity construction of black gay male educators and its influence on authentic identity expression in the K-12 workplace

PDF

First-generation Armenian American community college students' perception of events affecting their identity development

PDF

As the world turns: being Black and gay on campus in the 21st century

PDF

Racial/ethnic identity socialization as a method of fostering positive racial/ethnic identity in adoptees

PDF

Belonging: interplay of race and sexuality with Black gay undergraduate male students

PDF

Beyond the binary: a phenomenological study of the campus experiences and social identities of bisexual, pansexual, fluid, and queer students at a public university

PDF

STEM identity development: examining the experiences of transfer students

PDF

The impact of learning communities on the retention and academic integration of African American students at a highly selective four-year private institution

PDF

Ethnic identity development, ethnic student organizations, campus racial climate, cultural integrity, and sense of belonging for Filipino American undergraduate students at a selective predominan...

PDF

The Cambodian American college experience: intergenerational transmission of trauma, intergenerational conflict, and multiple worlds and identities

PDF

Women and leadership: the impact of collegiate athletics on leader identity development and attainment of leadership positions

Asset Metadata

Creator Vigil, Vincent Eugene (author)

Core Title Concept mapping and describing the sources of impact on Black gay college student identity development at 4-year institutions

School Rossier School of Education

Degree Doctor of Education

Degree Program Education (Leadership)

Publication Date 11/05/2007

Defense Date 06/06/2007

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag African American gay men,African American men and homosexuality,Black gay men,Black homosexuality,LGBT Black,OAI-PMH Harvest

Language English

Advisor Goodyear, Rodney K. (committee chair), Andres, Mary (committee member), Tuitt, Donahue (committee member)

Creator Email vincenev@usc.edu

Permanent Link (DOI) https://doi.org/10.25549/usctheses-m908

Unique identifier UC1468113

Identifier etd-Vigil-20071105 (filename),usctheses-m40 (legacy collection record id),usctheses-c127-588094 (legacy record id),usctheses-m908 (legacy record id)

Legacy Identifier etd-Vigil-20071105.pdf

Dmrecord 588094

Document Type Dissertation

Rights Vigil, Vincent Eugene

Type texts

Source University of Southern California (contributing entity), University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses (collection)

Repository Name Libraries, University of Southern California

Repository Location Los Angeles, California

Repository Email cisadmin@lib.usc.edu