University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses

Haitang 1971

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Haitang 1971

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Content HAITANG 1971
by
Jingwen Ma
A Thesis Presented to the
FACULTY OF THE USC ROSKI SCHOOL OF ART AND DESIGN
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF FINE ARTS
DESIGN
December 2021
Copyright 2021 Jingwen Ma
DEDICATION
I would like to dedicate this thesis project to Haitang Zhang, my mother.
She raised me and encouraged me to become a designer
and to make this world a better place.
ii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to offer my sincerest thanks to my committee members – Brian O’Connell, Ewa
Wojciak, and Haven Lin-Kirk – for their guidance, experience shared, and many efforts into
making this thesis possible. These three individuals taught me more than I can say. Each
provided unique perspectives that enhanced my thesis experience,
and I will be forever thankful.
iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DEDICATION ...............................................................................................................................................ii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ............................................................................................................................iii
LIST OF FIGURES........................................................................................................................................v
ABSTRACT..................................................................................................................................................vi
I. INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................................................................7
II. OBSERV ATIONS ON AND ABOUT THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER .................................................8
THE STAGES: A Popular Model ......................................................................................12
III. DEALING WITH DEATH: PRELUDE TO A DESIGN .......................................................................18
RELIGION.........................................................................................................................18
BUDDHISM: Yulan...........................................................................................................21
THE STORIES...................................................................................................................22
IV . CONSTRUCTION OF HAITANG 1971 ..............................................................................................24
ILLUSTRATION ...............................................................................................................24
FINAL OUTCOME ...........................................................................................................28
CLOSE TO THE END.................................................................................................................................32
CONCLUSION: FORWARD WITH IT ......................................................................................................33
BIBLIOGRAPHY........................................................................................................................................35
iv
LIST OF FIGURES
Figure1. Haitang’s photo, 1980......................................................................................................................7
Figure 2. “You may Want to Marry My Husband” ........................................................................................9
in New York Times.........................................................................................................................................9
Figure 3. The Bowery in two inadequate descriptive system. Martha Rosler, 1974 ...................................10
Figure 4. Left Behind by Jennifer Loeber. ...................................................................................................11
Figure 5. Five stages of grief model. ...........................................................................................................13
Figure 6. Chuanhua and Haitang’s...............................................................................................................17
Wedding Anniversary photo.........................................................................................................................17
Figure 7. Succulent Illustration in Haitang1971 ..........................................................................................25
Figure 8. Math Book Illustration in Haitang1971........................................................................................26
Figure 9. Teddy Bear Illustration in Haitang1971 .......................................................................................26
Figure 10. Quilt Illustration in Haitang1971................................................................................................27
Figure 11. Cover Page of Haitang1971........................................................................................................28
Figure 12. Haitang’s first bicycle and stories behind it................................................................................29
Figure 13. First page, Haitang’s bedroom when she was a child.................................................................30
Figure 14. Haitang’s favorite dish and recipe ..............................................................................................30
Figure 15. Haitang’s math book illustration.................................................................................................31
Figure 16. Grandfather’s handwritten prescription......................................................................................31
v
ABSTRACT
Where do people go when they die? The scientist explains death is the permanent cessation of all
biological functions that sustain a living organism. There is no "heaven" or "hell" that exists in
the world of science. Human beings are emotional animals that do not easily accept the pain of
losing someone they love. As a result, we often find different ways to explain the existence of
death. Since ancient times, religion, artists, and writers have all describe the afterlife. We believe
the ones we love will always be with us even after death.
This thesis explores the meaning of death through book design. The project is a partial biography
documenting my mother's passing, which utilizes original illustrations, collected stories, and
personal text to share the impact of her life on me and those near her. The book is called Haitang
1971.

Haitang 1971 will be my mother's biography, based on my memory and the stories her friends
shared with me. In the end, she was not beaten by cancer, and she just traveled somewhere far
away. This is my understanding of death. Designing this biography for Haitang is to honor my
mother. In addition, I want to find a deeper meaning in life and death.
vi
I. INTRODUCTION
Where do people go when they die? Science explains that death is “the permanent cessation of
all biological functions that sustain a living organism.” There is no “heaven” or “hell” existing in
the world of science. Human beings are emotional animals. We cannot accept the pain of losing
someone we love. Usually, we explain death in different ways. Since ancient times, religion,
artists, and writers have attempted to describe the afterlife. We believe the ones we love will
always be with us, even after death.
This thesis explores the meaning of death through book design. The project is a partial
biography documenting my mother's passing, which utilizes original illustrations, collected
stories, and personal text to share the impact of her life on me and those near her. The book is
called Haitang 1971.
Haitang is my mother. We spent the past 23 years together. She
was not just my mother but also my closest friend. She was
diagnosed with gallbladder cancer six months before she died.
Despite the most aggressive chemotherapy and surgery available,
I still lost her on October 15, 2020.
Figure1. Haitang’s photo, 1980
7
During her last days at the hospital, we were together. Sometimes her friends came to see her and
told me about her life before I was born, and sometimes my mother just told me stories about my
childhood. I started to collect those stories and write them down. I attempted to gather the
fragments of life by illustrated objects, real and imagined, and began to write the stories I heard
from my mother’s friends. Designing this biography for Haitang is my way of honoring my
mother and research for a deeper understanding of life and death.
Haitang 1971 will allow me to frame my reactions to my mother’s death and document the
accounts of the social, cultural, and religious perspectives that inform the stories I collect and
illustrate within a larger narrative by others in my journey. I also look to examples of personal
narrative, the use of text and image, and literary and artistic attempts to deal with the loss of
loved ones.
II. OBSERV ATIONS ON AND ABOUT THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER
Since my mother died, I have struggled with the loss that comes with death and its entanglement
with my life. Often I feel confused and have many doubts. All of my confusion is about death,
and I am seeking answers to understand death. Acquiring knowledge about death has become the
thing I want to do most of all; this is because the more I know about death, the closer I feel to my
mother.
8
By collecting a personal narrative and recording my observation, I hope to explore how people
around me deal with impending death, loss, and grief. And how others explain death through
religious traditions they believe in.

Figure 2. “You may Want to Marry My Husband”
in New York Times.
In Amy Krouse Rosenthal's (April 29, 1965 – March 13, 2017) New York Times article "You May
Want to Marry My Husband," Rosenthal discusses her cancer and that she knows she only has
days left. She leaves an empty space for her husband at the end of that article; writing his next
love story can fill it. [1]
Years after reading Rosenthal's article, I saw a TED talk called "The Journey Through Loss and
Grief." In it, Jason Rosenthal, Amy's husband, describes a situation that I find strikingly similar
to my own:
9
I have memories of those final weeks that haunt me. I remember walking backwards to the
bathroom, assisting Amy with each step. I felt so strong. I'm not such a big guy, but my
arms looked and felt so healthy compared to Amy's frail body. And that body failed in our
house. [2]
The book Haitang 1971 is an attempt in part to build a house to sustain the memory of my
missing mother. This project deals with two situations that cannot be described entirely nor
separated—the description of someone who is no longer with us and the experience of that loss
by those who loved her. As a biography, Haitang 1971 must provide two experiences:
1) Know my mother through stories and objects reconstructed as illustrations.
2) The process of producing these stories through grieving, healing, growth and eventual
strength of those left behind.
These two tasks will be accomplished through two different systems—one visual, the other
verbal.

Figure 3. The Bowery in two inadequate descriptive system. Martha Rosler, 1974
10
The problem of image and text as insufficient but reinforcing systems is well known to artists
and designers. In 1974, Martha Rosler placed photos of the Bowery's storefront alongside shots
of typed words related to drunkenness. [3] The resulting disjunction (between words that refer to
the state of all humanity and images without humans) suggests the inherent limitations of
photography and language as "descriptive systems" for solving complex social problems. By
arranging the components of the work in a grid, Rosler broke the traditional concept that most of
the artwork is hung in the museum and can only be treated as a thing of beauty.
Rosler’s work reminds me of many scenes of my mother and me together. Each scene is
associated with an object. Many objects seem ordinary to others, such as bicycles, coffee mugs,
or an old Teddy bear. These "ordinary objects" mean a lot to me. So I started to think of
illustrating these objects and telling the stories behind them.
Figure 4. Left Behind by Jennifer Loeber.
11
Another artist from whose work I have drawn inspiration is contemporary photographer Jennifer
Loeber who in her artist’s statement explains: “I found myself deeply overwhelmed by the
requirement to stay when the foremost mundane of my mom’s belongings when she died
suddenly this past February.” The artist turned to the items her mother left behind, formerly banal
objects transformed into tangible evidence of her mother’s existence, as artistic inspiration. The
resulting images are thoughtful odes to her mother’s memory, as experienced through a tube of
lipstick, a home appliance, a pearl ring, and the other day-to-day objects she used and loved.
Many memories of my mother were also hidden in small places. Our house is full of traces of
her. I found much paper left in her study： the handwritten prescription left by my grandfather
(Grandfather was a doctor), many traffic tickets (She was not a good driver), some diaries, etc.
When I went through these things, I felt as if she was still around. I scanned these documents
with a printer and planned to put them in Haitang1971 because these all proved that she was a
vivid and lovely person. Objects can hold memory, and that many photographers have
documented belongings to tell the story of people's lives, illustration is even a more personal
interpretation of the meaning of an object–as it uses the hand to recreate the object.
THE STAGES: A Popular Model
People have different reactions when they know death is coming, but according to the “five
stages of grief model,” these reactions follow a predictable pattern. Although studies have not
demonstrated the existence of these stages, the model is commonly referenced in popular culture.
When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my family and I had different expressions of
desperation and sadness about her operation and her leaving us. Despite these differences, most
12
of them fit the five emotions outlined by the five models: Denial, Anger, Bargaining,
Depression, and Acceptance. [5]
Figure 5. Five stages of grief model.
Denial / Chuanhua Ma
"It is not true. It is somehow mistaken".
The first reaction to death is "denial." My father, Chuanhua, reacted to my mother's illness and
impending death through denial. When my mother was just diagnosed, the doctor sat Chuanhua
down and let him know that despite the most aggressive chemotherapy and surgery that they
could offer her, she only had perhaps three to six months to live. Chuanhua believed the
diagnosis was somehow mistaken.
I knew his love for Haitang could crush him.
He blindly thought that my mother's disease was curable, and he did not want me to worry about
it. I was in Los Angeles at the time when he called me and told me that my mother had a minor
gallstone removal surgery. He did not tell me then what the doctor had told him. It was
13
gallbladder cancer. He had been actively seeking treatments and pleaded with people to explore
gene therapy in Japan. However, Japan was restricted by Covid-19. Chuanhua believed that
Haitang's disease was curable and that the situation must not be as bad as the doctor's diagnosis.
His approach was pure hope and deep love.
He told me that if there were only one miracle in this world, it would happen to Haitang.

Anger / Biao Duan
“It is not fair?”
“Who is to blame?”
Biao is my cousin. His mother is my mother’s big sister, my aunt. Their home is in another city, a
three-hour drive away. My mother was close to him, and they had a lot of fun together. I cannot
forget the first time Biao came to Taiyuan, where we lived when he was sixteen. Two years later,
when he went to college, he would still come back to visit and spend weekends with us. My
mother would cook for us, and she was the best cook in her family. My uncle and aunt’s cooking
are hard to describe. They always try new combinations that can be downright scary.
When Biao learned that my mother was diagnosed with cancer, he reacted with great anger and
made a lot of hurtful comments. Perhaps the worst of all was, “your mother had a pitiful life
because your father was too busy to stay with her. I hate your dad!”
His words hurt me, not because I thought he was telling the truth but because I resented him for
putting these negative feelings on me.
14
I know his reaction came from his love for Haitang and anger at her cancer, but he did not know
how to express his feelings. He was consumed by anger during those days. I could barely speak
to him. I knew how hard it was.

Bargaining / Myself
Negotiate with God.
I was the last one to find out.
It was the 31st of July 2020, four months after the diagnosis. I was home in my apartment when
my dad called.
Chuanhua: "I will tell you something, but you have to be strong. Your mom's condition is not
good. You have to be prepared. I was afraid of telling you because I know you won't accept it.
But your mom only has one month left, don't ask me more. Please, just come home."
I do not remember what happened after that phone call clearly. I know that I called many people
to check if what my father had told me was true. I cried. The first thing I did was to search for
therapies for my mother. Like my father, I convinced myself there must be some therapy her
doctors had not yet found.
The pandemic travel ban between China and the United States was in effect, and in order to go
home, I had to self-quarantine for fourteen days before flying to China, and when I arrived, for
another fourteen days in a hotel. That was the longest month of my life. I barely slept. I was
looking for something to make my mother feel better, sending e-mails to different cancer centers,
asking if other than traditional therapies were available, and even looking into superstitious
methods. I needed a way to give her more time.
15
After receiving tons of tactful rejections, I was desperate. I knew there might not be a way to
save my mother's life, but I still did not want to give it up.
I needed more time to be with her. I had already wasted a lot.
Depression / Everyone She Loved
Depression feels like it will last forever.
Haitang left us on the 15th of October.
In China, we have a tradition that family members have to stay at home for five weeks following
the death of a loved one. This does not mean staying at home from morning till night, but it
requires being home every night and not traveling during those thirty-five days.
I had heard of this tradition, but I did not know its purpose. I asked my aunt.
My aunt said, “There is an old saying that people’ s souls will stay in the world for five weeks
before disappearing. She will go home to check on you and your dad these days, make sure you
are doing well, then she can disappear without worries.”
I never knew there was such a romantic story behind this tradition, and I do not know why but I
believed it.
I waited for her many nights. Finally, one day around 11 pm, I thought my dad had already fallen
asleep but had not turned the light off.
I went to his bedroom and saw him gently touching my mother’s quilt.
Acceptance / Haitang
16
Haitang ate her last meal in February 2020. Based on her work experience—she had worked for
a medical company for a decade—she knew something terrible would happen early on before
there was a diagnosis.
She called my aunt Dongxue. She said, “I might have tumors.”
The ironic thing is, we never officially told her that she had cancer, and she never asked. We lied
to her until the last day. My father firmly said that we must not tell her about her actual
condition. He did not want her to know. He believed that a positive attitude could cure cancer.

On the morning of the 14th of October, 2020, she woke up and called my father. She said, “I am
sorry.” Chuanhua asked her what she is sorry for? But she did not answer. Later, she said
again, “I am sorry,” and repeated it three times. She lost consciousness later that afternoon and
slept peacefully. I sat next to her bed and held her through the night. I was terrified. I never felt
so scared. I knew I would lose her soon. I saw her breath gradually stop. I told her, “I love you.
Do not be afraid. We will see each other again one day.”
Figure 6. Chuanhua and Haitang’s
Wedding Anniversary photo
17
III. DEALING WITH DEATH: PRELUDE TO A DESIGN
We always celebrate when someone is born but avoid talking about death.
What is death?
Since ancient times, religions have offered people much understanding and knowledge about
death. Everyone is afraid to talk about death. Religions subtly defend people's fear. Religions
promise a solution for the deepest and most primitive psychological fear—the afterlife.
On the other hand, modern medicine has given people another perspective on death, a
perspective that is somewhat frightening because it is too real and direct.
Researching interpretations of the afterlife in different religions convinced me that my mother
may be in a "better place" now. It has also motivated me to continue to produce the book that has
become the focus of this thesis. The process of designing this biography is more than just
creating a record of the memories between my mother and me, and it is a way of communicating
with her. The following religiously informed meditations on the afterlife offered to me by my
friend Candy and my aunt Yulan form the basis for the textual components of Haitang 1971.
Additionally, I have relied on stories based on folklore shared by family and friends.
RELIGION
CHRISTIANITY: Candy and Me
The earliest Christians believed that Jesus Christ rose from the dead after he was crucified and
will return soon to complete the things he needs to finish.
18
Some of the earliest documents in the Christian New Testament, epistles or letters written by
Paul, provide answers: The dead just fell asleep, they explained. When Christ repays the dead,
they will also rise in the new body and be judged by Christ himself. After that, they will reunite
with their bodies again and be resurrected in a perfect form.
Swedish theologian Emanuel Swedenborg (1688 – 1772) described his spiritual experiences
in Heaven and Hell.[6] He reported a wide range of the afterlife related to Christianity.
Furthermore, he was trying to explain heaven, marriage, children, time, and space.
Heaven
Candy was my host mother in North Carolina, and she is also one of my closest friends. She led
me to Christianity. She introduced the bible to me. I prayed at the hospital every day. I asked her
about miracles and the existence of heaven.
She sent me a letter:
I brought you before the Lord in prayer He spoke these words in my spirit for you.
From Jesus-
Beautiful Daughter Michela I am with you every minute. Remember that you are my
child, my beautiful purchased possession. My love reaches out to your mother as she
draws closer to eternity and it surrounds you. Do not doubt that your faith is empty for it
is exactly as I have planted in your heart. Even my disciples that walked, talked and
fellowshipped with me when I walked the earth questioned how they could know for sure
if their faith was true. My words are recorded by my beloved disciple John in Chapter 14:
19
5-6 " Thomas (the doubter) said unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and
how can we know the way? Jesus saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no
man cometh unto the Father, but by me." " The prayers that you have offered for you
mother are heard and every tear is saved in heaven. It is her decision to accept me but
you have every right to claim her salvation as part of your household and the blood that I
shed for you also is available to her so that she may find forgiveness and comfort in me.
My Holy Spirit can speak to her heart and draw her with great love into the eternal
kingdom of my Father where there is no more suffering, pain or grief. Even if you don't
think she hears you, she does hear and she can hear my voice calling her to peace. Do
not lose heart. Do not abandon your faith in me for I am the Faithful and True.
All my love,
Jesus
She told me she lost her mother to cancer at home. That helped, but it is never easy to say
goodbye. But there is a heaven with Jesus Christ and God our Father. This is for everyone who
will believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
20
BUDDHISM: Yulan
Haitang’s best friend
The Buddhist "Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" records: Death is a mirror in which the entire
meaning of life is reflected.

Everyone needs to face death. When we are alive, we can deal with death in two ways. Ignore it
or face our own death. Moreover, it may reduce the pain of death to think clearly about death.
However, neither of these two methods helps us overcome death.

My mom's best friend is Yulan, and they were college classmates. Yulan is a devout Buddhist.
Since my mom got sick, she had been chanting scripture and praying every day.
She was trying to explain death to me in a Buddhism way.
She told me - death is about the body, and the body is not oneself. People who study Buddhism
must understand, our body belongs to us. Just like clothes, if the clothes are dirty or worn out,
you naturally change them; if your body is damaged, you will quickly change to another.
Therefore, the birth and death of this body are the same as putting on clothes and taking off
clothes. They have no nostalgia. They have no pain. If there is no pain, you will get better and
better.
The ultimate goal of Buddhism is liberation, transcendence, freedom, or nirvana. Buddhism
hopes that people can reach "nirvana" as a state of freedom and liberation from real
suffering. Nirvana is a spiritual realm that transcends even the immortality of phenomena.
21
THE STORIES
A Bell / Chuanhua
My father asked the monk from the temple for a giant bell, and he placed that bell on the
southern corner of our home.
The monk said, “Ring the bell every morning. Your wife will be blessed.”
Lucky Bracelets
Before I departed Los Angeles, I went to a jewelry store to purchase lucky bracelets for my
mom. I asked a salesperson which one would bring luck and health. She gave us a red Alhambra
bracelet.
Haitang loved this bracelet, and she always wore it till 15th October.
Last Wishes
We all wanted Haitang to be as happy as possible during her short remaining time. However, she
almost lost all of her energy trying to have fun. Two people she cared about most in her life: my
father Chuanhua, and the other was me. Haitang refused to sleep during the night when we were
at the hospital. She wanted to stay with us for a bit longer. Her last wish was for my father and
me to live a good life, even without her.
Quit Bad Habits / Chuanhua
My dad has been drinking and smoking for almost twenty years. This was always my mom’s
biggest concern. She was worried about his health.
22
During the hospital stay, Haitang was more worried about Chuanhua’s mental health than his
drinking. She knew that my dad would feel anxious and hurt as her health condition worsened.
A lot of nights, she told Chuanhua, “Go and have a glass of wine if you like.”
Someone Will Love You Like I Do / I
Engagement with Youwei
Youwei is my boyfriend, and we love each other. We planed to be engaged after we graduated
college.
I have always known that the person my mother cared for the most was me. She had lots of
fantasies about me as a mother, and she said my baby would be the cutest, and she wanted to
cook for my baby every day.
We knew that her wish for a baby was impossible in such a short time. So, to keep her from
worrying about my future, Youwei and I got engaged.
I still remember the scene when Youwei came to my home to meet my parents for the very first
time. He was so nervous and sweated a lot. My mom was too weak to talk, but she whispered in
my ear and said, “How cute he is. I like him.”
Youwei spent two weeks with my mom. Before he had to leave, he held my mom’s hand and
said: I will take care of Diandian (my nickname) no matter what happens. I love her.
“That is my only request.” It is the last sentence my mom said to Youwei.
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IV . CONSTRUCTION OF HAITANG 1971
Haitang 1971 combines text-based traditions related in the previous section with depictions of
the very personal objects my mother left behind. I have chosen to illustrate these objects
according to specific stylistic choices. I bring these texts and illustrations together in book form
as Haitang 1971. In what follows, I describe some of the images and objects in detail, as well as
my decisions regarding layout, color, text and image in the production of the book.
ILLUSTRATION
I drew a lot of illustrations about some things that are important to my mother.
Maybe these things are ordinary to most people, but each item has a story behind it, and those
stories are very important to me. I want these stories to be recorded. The memories of her will
not completely disappear, but they are going to fade away. However, those memories and stories
are the things I do not want to forget.
In the process of creating these illustrations, I have been thinking about how to define them.
Looking at the coffee mug she loved and those succulents on the balcony, I would imagine that
the time she spent with them on a beautiful afternoon. She must be enjoyed.
My mother left me some handwritten letters. Most of them are like notes—short, cute, and
predictable. She enjoyed reading and writing sentences in a notebook. I don’t think she knew
24
how to write in beautiful calligraphy, but she did try hard. She took classes and practiced every
day. I know she cared about handwriting that much because of what happened when I was seven
years old and in the first grade. My English teacher required a signature from parents every day
to make sure we had reviewed our vocabulary. My mother wrote like a child, and her
handwriting was huge, clean, and neat. So the signature she signed for me always made the
teacher suspect that I wrote it myself. So after that, I never asked her to sign again. I went to my
father instead.
I knew it might hurt her feelings. So afterward, she started to practice different handwriting
Succulent
Figure 7. Succulent Illustration in Haitang1971
Mother's love of succulents can be described as crazy.
In my memory, our small balcony at home is like a little garden. Most of the plants are meaty
and of the same species. Since my mother started to raise succulents, her passion influenced
many of her friends. Later, a small group of succulent growers was founded by my mom.
She became a master of succulents, irrigating them every day.
Now looking at the fleshy meats on the balcony, I feel that there is a feeling of connected destiny.
25
Math Book

Figure 8. Math Book Illustration in Haitang1971
My aunt told me that my mother was a smart girl when she was six years old.
She was obsessed with solving math problems.
Pink Teddy Bear
Figure 9. Teddy Bear Illustration in Haitang1971
26
When I was a little girl, I went to Beijing for the first time.
It was my first trip with my mother.
We took the train for a long time and lived in her friend's apartment.
I still remember how surprised we were when we arrived in that big city.
We went to the botanical garden together and spent a few yuan riding a camel.
We took a lot of photos together at the entrance of the park.
We went shopping in the mall and saw this little pink Teddy bear, and It was cute.
It smelled like a flower because there were some tonka-beans sewn into the bear's hand.
The pink teddy bear is still by my bed.
Kitty Quilt
Figure 10. Quilt Illustration in Haitang1971
When I was born, my mother sewed me a cartoon cat pattern quilt with blue lace.
We named it Kitty Quilt.
She used soft cotton cloth with a thin layer of cotton inside the quilt.
Kitty quilt has been with me for eight years.
27
It has been washed too many times to a whitish pink. It was very soft, like a cloud.
The summer vacation after the second grade, I lost my Kitty quilt on the train to grandma’s city.
In my memory, it was a sad summer vacation.
FINAL OUTCOME
Figure 11. Cover Page of Haitang1971
The graphic on the cover of Haitang 1971 was my first design piece when I was in college. I
remember the professor in the typography design class gave us an assignment: choose a
meaningful phrase and create a typography design of it. So I chose my mother's name, Haitang,
28
in Chinese characters. My mother had always used this graphic as her profile photo on all of her
social media. After so many years, when I look back at this typography design, it is not perfect.
But I always remember how happy and proud she was when she saw this design.
The biography is a place where I can permanently store information. For me, it is a good place to
store many memories related to my mom.
Figure 12. Haitang’s first bicycle and stories behind it
29
Figure 13. First page, Haitang’s bedroom when she was a child
Figure 14. Haitang’s favorite dish and recipe
30
Figure 15. Haitang’s math book illustration
Figure 16. Grandfather’s handwritten prescription
31
There is no particular order in this book. When I thought of a specific memory or saw an object
related to my mother, I would draw it on the iPad, and this was because when I was in the
hospital with my mother, the iPad was the only tool I had. Every time she fell asleep, I would
start to illustrate the objects related to her. I also wrote down the story associated with the object
next to it. There are also a lot of handwritten letters from my mother I collected from her study.
So in Haitang 1971, I presented them as an extended dialogue with my mother.
About Color
I used low-saturation colors for my illustrations. Most of the objects I chose are very old and no
longer have their true colors.
CLOSE TO THE END
I chose to collect these things about my mom. For me, it is like peeling off the softest part of my
heart. So many caring friends said I have to do something distractive, like going out for a walk,
watching a movie, something else except focusing on the loss. But I cannot. My brain is full of
some memory fragments of my mom, those warm touches, love genuinely happened in the past,
like yesterday. Those memories are real, too real to feel she is not around. I know love and pain
will not disappear, but the memories will fade away as time passes. I am afraid of forgetting, so I
will start to collect memories.
32
Recently, what makes me feel happiest is when her friends come by to visit and tell stories of her
life before she had me. Her sister told me she was clever, good at math when she was 7. Her
middle school friends talk about how popular she was. And my dad, her college classmate,
telling me how thrilled he was when my mom was his girlfriend when he was 20. I treated those
stories as treasures.
It is her history, and those stories validate who I am.
CONCLUSION: FORWARD WITH IT
I still don't have a conclusion for my initial question: Where do people go when they die? I am
still confused and sometimes ask myself where my mother is now and if I will ever meet her
again. Designing this book for my mother is a way of answering some questions. The blood and
memories had closely connected my mother and me. Also, I felt a particular bond when I drew
those objects and collected some of the paper she left.

The process of being a designer and artist allowed me to grow closer to my mother and to
understand some of the objects in her life. So if there needs a conclusion for all of my research, it
will be: Time is flowing, taking away many things and people. But there are also many things
that time cannot take away, such as memories and love.
At first, I wanted to record what happened by separating the timeline before her illness and that
after. But later, I have found I shouldn't do that because it is her completed life. Cancer took her
33
away but hasn't changed our love and our relationship. She will always be the most important
part of my life. No exception.
I like what Nora Mclnerny said about grief. [7]
But grief is kind of one of those things, like, falling in love or having a baby or watching "The
Wire" on HBO, where you don't get it until you get it, until you do it. And once you do it, once it's
your love or your baby, once it's your grief and your front row at the funeral, you get it. You
understand what you're experiencing is not a moment in time, it's not a bone that will reset, but
that you've been touched by something chronic. Something incurable. It's not fatal, but
sometimes grief feels like it could be. And if we can't prevent it in one another, what can we do?
What can we do other than try to remind one another that some things can't be fixed, and not all
wounds are meant to heal? We need each other to remember, to help each other remember, that
grief is this multitasking emotion. That you can and will be sad, and happy; you'll be grieving,
and able to love in the same year or week, the same breath. We need to remember that a grieving
person is going to laugh again and smile again. But yes, absolutely, they're going to move
forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on.
The hardest moments of our lives change us, more than any goal we could ever accomplish.
I will try to move forward with it.
34
BIBLIOGRAPHY
1. Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s “You May Want to Marry My Husband”, New York Times article,
2017.
2. Jason Rosenthal, “The Journey Through Loss and Grief”, TED talk.
3. Martha Rosler, The Bowery in two inadequate descriptive systems, 1974/1975.
4. Jennifer Loeber , “Left Behind”, 2014.
http://www.jenniferloeber.com/left-behind/x0q85xo11nn6d5y56sju803i1j8sgi
5. Kübler-Ross first introduced her five stage grief model in her book "On Death and
Dying",1969.
6. Heaven and its Wonders and Hell From Things Heard and Seen, or, in Latin: De Caelo et Eius
Mirabilibus et de inferno, ex Auditis et Visis. It gives a detailed description of the afterlife; how
people live after the death of the physical body.
7. Nora Mclnerny, We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it. TedWomen 2018.
35

Abstract (if available)

Abstract Where do people go when they die? The scientist explains death is the permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism. There is no "heaven" or "hell" that exists in the world of science. Human beings are emotional animals that do not easily accept the pain of losing someone they love. As a result, we often find different ways to explain the existence of death. Since ancient times, religion, artists, and writers have all described the afterlife. We believe the ones we love will always be with us even after death.? ? This thesis explores the meaning of death through book design. The project is a partial biography documenting my mother's passing, which utilizes original illustrations, collected stories, and personal text to share the impact of her life on me and those near her. The book is called Haitang 1971. ? ?Haitang 1971 will be my mother's biography, based on my memory and the stories her friends shared with me. In the end, she was not beaten by cancer, and she just traveled somewhere far away. This is my understanding of death. Designing this biography for Haitang is to honor my mother. In addition, I want to find a deeper meaning in life and death.

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Asset Metadata

Creator Ma, Jingwen (author)

Core Title Haitang 1971

School Roski School of Art and Design

Degree Master of Fine Arts

Degree Program Design

Degree Conferral Date 2021-12

Publication Date 11/10/2021

Defense Date 11/10/2021

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag afterlife,death,Illustration,OAI-PMH Harvest,religious,Story telling

Format application/pdf (imt)

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor O'Connell, Brian (committee chair), Lin-kirk, Haven (committee member), Wojciak, Ewa (committee member)

Creator Email majingwe@usc.edu,majingwen221@gmail.com

Permanent Link (DOI) https://doi.org/10.25549/usctheses-oUC16661210

Unique identifier UC16661210

Legacy Identifier etd-MaJingwen-10212

Document Type Thesis

Format application/pdf (imt)

Rights Ma, Jingwen

Type texts

Source University of Southern California (contributing entity), University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses (collection)

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Repository Name University of Southern California Digital Library

Repository Location USC Digital Library, University of Southern California, University Park Campus MC 2810, 3434 South Grand Avenue, 2nd Floor, Los Angeles, California 90089-2810, USA

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