University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses

Finding balance

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Finding balance

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Content Finding Balance
Halle Michelle Hazzard
A Thesis Presented to the
FACULTY OF USC ANNENBERG SCHOOL FOR
COMMUNICATION AND JOURNALISM
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF ARTS
(SPECIALIZED JOURNALISM)
DECEMBER 2022
by
ii
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank Dan Birman for his support and creative feedback throughout the
production of this project. This story was both mentally and emotionally very difficult to tell,
and I would not have been able to complete this documentary without his guidance. I would like
to thank my documentary subject, Zoya Johnson, for sharing her inspiring story with me. Thank
you to mental health coach, Lisa Mitzel, for providing her wisdom and benevolent nature in this
documentary. Her insight was influential to the formation of this story, and significant to the
healing process that must begin within the sport of elite gymnastics. I would also like to thank
Selena Harris, and her coach Cassandra Rice, for being so open-minded and patient throughout
the filming process. This documentary would not have been possible without the help of these
individuals, and I am forever grateful for their cooperation and guidance.
iii
Table of Contents
I. Acknowledgements……………………………………………………………ii
II. Table of Contents………………………………………………………………iii
III. Abstract ………………………………………………………………………..iv
III. Introduction……………………………………………………………………..1
IV. Research…………………………………………………………………………2
V. Conclusion ……………………………………………………………………. . 7
VII: References…………………………………………………………………………9
IX: Documentary Script ………………………………………………………………..10
iv
Abstract
“Finding Balance” is a documentary about a young woman who works to overcome the
mental and emotional trauma elite gymnastics caused her, all while finding her identity outside
of the sport as a model and actress. As she reveals sensory and extensive detail about what she
experienced, the audience simultaneously sees how she lives her life now. I chose to do this topic
because of my personal experience as a child gymnast who trained to compete at the elite level.
These nine years of my life marked a challenging period of my childhood where I both witnessed
and underwent strict coaching that involved practicing and competing on injuries, the berating of
young athletes, and the use of fear as a means of motivation for performing. I hope for this
documentary to be a learning tool for coaches and parents as we work to make the sport a safer
place for its young athletes.
1
Introduction
In the summer of 2020, the Emmy Winning Investigative Documentary “Athlete A”
premiered on Netflix, revealing the harrowing process in which Indianapolis Star reporters broke
the story of how former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar sexually abused over 250
young athletes. After its release, gymnasts took to social media exposing the brutal culture of the
sport that not only entailed sexual abuse, but mental, emotional, and physical abuse as well. In
the making of my documentary “Finding Balance”, I realized the causal relationship these types
of abuses share with each other, and worked hard to highlight the fact that if one type of abuse
occurs, others could exist as well. While my personal experiences made me aware of the
mistreatment that is endured in the sport, I think it is important for viewers to understand the
environmental factors that allow tragedies like this to happen.
2
Research
In the sport of elite gymnastics, it is expected that a gymnast endure a tough coaching
style in order to make it to and thrive at the elite level. Upon further research, I learned that this
mistreatment that I received as a young gymnast was not only a part of my gym’s culture, but a
part of the entire culture of USA Gymnastics.
1
Olympians such as Simone Biles, Dominique
Moceanu, Aly Raisman, and so many more, have spoken against the toxic culture in wake of the
Larry Nassar sexual abuse scandal in 2015.
2
However, they have made it clear that the
mistreatment of athletes in the sport goes far beyond Larry Nassar and expands into the realm of
mental and emotional abuse. I chose to showcase this issue through a video documentary
because I believe this was the most effective way for the audience to connect with my characters.
Their perspectives are not representative of all gymnasts, as each athlete has their own
experience, but their personal insights shed light on larger questions concerning athletes’ mental
health. Coaches are taught to push their athletes, but how do we know when they are crossing the
line into abuse, and how can we assess where the line is drawn? I set out to answer this question
through my approach of assessing the mental attitudes of my characters who were open to
sharing their personal stories with me.
The athlete and coach are meant to share a mutually beneficial relationship, however,
coaches often try to build their reputation on the success of their athletes.
3
This leads to coaches
pushing their athletes in ways that only meet the interest of the coach. In 1981, Romanian
1
2020. “Abused in the pursuit of dream: How USA Gymnastics Failed to Protect its Gymnasts” Hofstra Labor &
Employment Law Journal.
2
2019. “Whose Fault Is It Anyway: How Sexual Abuse Has Plagued the United States Olympic Movement and Its
Athletes” Marquette Sports Law Review.
3
2017. “Everything revolves around gymnastics’: athletes and parents make sense of elite youth sport” Sport in
Society.
3
gymnastics coaches Bela and Marta Karolyi defected to the United States in hopes of building
Olympic champions in America. They brought with them their high-volume training approach
that entailed a strict coaching style in which the duo berated their athletes, threw objects at them,
and denied them food and water until they performed to standards.
4
This style of coaching later
became known as the Karolyi method, and despite its abusive tactics, it led the pair to
dominating the competitive gymnastics world. From Mary Lou Retton to Simone Biles, the
Karolyi’s produced countless Olympic gymnasts, working their way up to becoming the National
Team Coordinators for USA Gymnastics. Since their system of abuse was seen as the only way
to produce Olympians, gymnastics coaches across the country adopted the Karolyi method;
which led to the spark of an epidemic of abusive culture within USAG.
5
I set out to see how
years of this coaching style affected the mental health of athletes after they stopped doing the
sport. But during my approach, I had to first understand how the athlete could tolerate this abuse
for an extended period of time. In 2016, researchers did a study to see how athletes and parents
made sense of the strict coaching practices in women’s elite gymnastics. They found that
compliance and docility of athletes were enabled by coaching styles that were autocratically
oppressive, and the desire by athletes to do well in international and national competitions.
6

When I interviewed my main subject, she expressed that she tolerated the verbal and emotional
abuse she received from her coach because she believed it was what she had to endure in order to
get to the Olympics. After suffering nine concussions, she was forced to exit the sport, making
4
2020. “The Larry Nassar Nightmare: Athletic Organizational Failures to Address Sexual Assault Allegations and a
Call for Corrective Action” DePaul Journal of Sports Law.
5
2020. "Athlete A' Empowers Survivors, Exposes System that Protected Capital Over Children." UWIRE Text
6
2017. “Everything revolves around gymnastics’: athletes and parents make sense of elite youth sport,” Sport in
Society.
4
her unable to attain this dream. In the documentary, she openly criticizes this unhealthy way of
coaching and the docility it pushes onto athletes. But although these practices have been
critiqued, I believe that the herd mentality that has been formed behind the Karolyi method, is
why these practices continue to occur. According to research, herding can be defined as the
phenomenon of individuals deciding to imitate group behaviors rather than deciding
independently on the basis of their own private information.
7
When the Karolyi method of
coaching became notorious for developing Olympic gymnasts, coaches hopped onto this method
thinking it was the only way to produce a successful athlete.
8
My main subject made this clear in
her interview when she recalled the harsh nature of a coach that forced her to practice on bars
with new grips. Grips are devices worn on the hands of gymnasts to reduce the wear and tear on
the skin of an athlete’s palms when they perform on the uneven bars.
9
When grips are newly
purchased, the device is often stiff and needs to be worn a couple times before a gymnast can
fully practice on the apparatus. Therefore, my subject’s coach forcing her to do high level skills
on the uneven bars with new grips was an extremely negligent act that put her safety in jeopardy.
In this situation, it became clear that becoming an Olympian trumped the overall safety and
wellbeing of the athlete. Since the herd mentality theory postulates that people imitate and follow
others in a world of uncertainty,
10
I concluded that the Karolyi method caught on so quickly
7
2010. “Herding, social influence and economic decision-making: socio-psychological and neuroscientific analyses.
Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London.
8
2022. “A Foucauldian Analysis of the Romanian School of Gymnastics as a Superpower Between 1976-1981:
What Securitatea Knew About Bela Karolyi’s Method”. Journal of Sport and Social Issues
9
2012. “Injury Prevention in Women’s Gymnastics. Sports Med.
10
2010. “Herding, social influence and economic decision-making: socio-psychological and neuroscientific
analyses. Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London.
5
amongst coaches due to closed minded thinking and the human error of being impacted by
negative social influences within the sport’s culture.
During the 1970s, gymnasts’ performance and bodies drastically changed.
11
The sport
went from consisting of mature women in their early to mid-twenties to young and undeveloped
pre-teens and teenagers. The switch to younger children partaking in the sport allowed for
increased training, and the incorporation of more risk-driven and innovative gymnastics
elements.
12
This opened the door to greater performance possibilities but put the sport in the
position where children constantly answer to authority figures. My second subject for my
documentary was an 18 -year -old girl who trained as a level 10 gymnast. When I visited her
gym in Nevada, I observed that my subject was the oldest athlete there. While shooting, I found
myself making my way through lively groups of toddlers and little kids, who to my surprise,
outnumbered the amount of pre-teens and teenagers in the gym. However, when filming the
older athletes, you could see that they depended on their coach for guidance and approval just as
much as the younger kids did. They often looked to their coach for feedback after each skill, and
some would not even start their routine until they made sure their coach was watching. I noticed
that there was a sense of vulnerability the athletes exhibited in these situations. I made sense of
this through the vulnerability theory, or the recognition that we are all born defenseless, become
feeble, must fear natural disasters, and might be failed by social institutions.
13
When parents drop
their child off at the gym, they expect the coaches to not just look after their child, but to protect
11
2009. “Ballerinas and Pixies: a Genealogy of the Changing Female Gymnastics Body” The International Journal
of the History of Sport.
12
- - -
13
2015. “Always Already Suspect: Revising Vulnerability Theory” Scholarly Works.
6
them. Most kids start gymnastics around ages five to seven
14
, but according to USA Gymnastics,
parents enroll their children in the sport as early as age two. Children and young adults are
certainly expected to be protected by the institution in which they train, however, history has
shown that this has not always been the case. This allows the vulnerability theory to be applied
quite literally because the sport involves young children who are actually defenseless and have
no other choice but to be reliant upon an institution that is supposed to take care of them.
Contrastingly, my second subject attended a wonderful gym that provided a safe and healthy
environment for kids to train in. Unlike the Karolyi method, my subject’s coach did not rely on
intimidation or fear when coaching her athletes. Instead, she would have her athletes play card
games in between turns to distract them from the intensity of the workout. She allowed them to
take breaks when needed and gave them corrections on their skills in a helpful manner. So, while
the age groups were very young and susceptible to that vulnerability, the coaches in the gym
provided a positive atmosphere that encouraged the athletes and allowed them to have fun.

14
2014. “Fundamental Movement Skills Development under the Influence of a Gymnastics Program and Everyday
Physical Activity in Seven-Year-Old Children.” Iranian journal of pediatrics.

7
Conclusion
It was not difficult to find research that aligned with my personal experiences, or the
personal experiences of my subjects. The research was consistent with the personal stories they
shared with me, and I was able to learn a lot listening to them. I am glad I expanded my character
base and obtained a coach’s perspective whose teaching style was positive. It made the piece not
only a memento of my subject’s experiences, but a learning tool for coaches and parents. The
coaching style displayed can be used as a model for the upcoming generation of athletes and
coaches who wish to make the sport a safer and more fun environment. In pre-production, I
lacked research that supported this part of my documentary, however, I later realized that there is
not much research on training environments that are healthy. A majority of research done on
training environments in gymnastics is negative because abuse is prevalent throughout the sport.
So much that when I type in “USA Gymnastics” into my search bar, scholarly journals and
articles concerning sexual, physical, mental, and emotional abuse only appear. I found that
research on these issues dates back to 2004. Prior to then, I did not find research that addressed
any types of abuse in the sport.
Upon entering this graduate program, documentary filmmaking was new to me. I
struggled to work with a camera, but with practice I was able to improve. The most challenging
part of filming was learning how to shoot sequences. At first, I found myself not knowing what
types of shots I needed. For example, a few of my earlier shoots lacked variety to help give a
viewer a more immersive experience. Documentary requires variety such as close-up shots and
cutaways within the environment in order to create relatable sequences. It is difficult to put
together a sequence in the editing process without these types of shots.
8
I learned to think of the process from an editor’s point-of-view when actively capturing
images. That way I know what shots I’ll need to make the editing process easier. I also learned
that you should not just look at the negative side of a story. As a journalist, it is essential to
overcome bias and throughout the course of filming this documentary, I believe I was able to do
so. By expanding my character base, I revealed that the sport of gymnastics could go in a
positive direction, and I think that’s what both previous and upcoming coaches need to recognize
in order to save the sport.
9
References
1. “Everything revolves around gymnastics’: athletes and parents make sense of elite youth
sport,” Sport in Society.
2. 2020. “Abused in the pursuit of dream: How USA Gymnastics Failed to Protect its
Gymnasts” Hofstra Labor & Employment Law Journal.
3.
2020. "Athlete A' Empowers Survivors, Exposes System that Protected Capital Over
Children."
UWIRE Text
4. 2019. “Whose Fault Is It Anyway: How Sexual Abuse Has Plagued the United States
Olympic Movement and Its Athletes” Marquette Sports Law Review.
5. 2020. “The Larry Nassar Nightmare: Athletic Organizational Failures to Address Sexual
Assault Allegations and a Call for Corrective Action” DePaul Journal of Sports Law.
6. 2022. “A Foucauldian Analysis of the Romanian School of Gymnastics as a Superpower
Between 1976-1981: What Securitatea Knew About Bela Karolyi’s Method”. Journal of Sport
and Social Issues.
7. 2010. “Herding, social influence and economic decision-making: socio-psychological and
neuroscientific analyses. Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London.
8. 2012. “Injury Prevention in Women’s Gymnastics. Sports Med.
9. 2009. “Ballerinas and Pixies: A Genealogy of the Changing Female Gymnastics Body” The
International Journal of the History of Sport.
10. 2015. “Always Already Suspect: Revising Vulnerability Theory” Scholarly Works.
11. 2014. “Fundamental Movement Skills Development under the Influence of a Gymnastics
Program and Everyday Physical Activity in Seven-Year-Old Children.” Iranian journal of
pediatrics.
10
Documentary Script
https://youtu.be/uqQzUDnRxEM
Video Audio
Prologue Music
NAT Sound
Clip 0295
Zoya stands in the sun
VO Lisa Mitzel
Title: Mental Training and Mental Health Coach
0:03
Clip 0292
Zoya does a bridge
Clip 0294
Zoya does press handstand
Clip 107
Selena on bars
Clip 158
Selena on beam
Clip 78
Cassie coaches
Clip 0295
Zoya stands in the sun
0:25
Clip 160
Selena sits by beams
I think the history of sport has been
focused on the body and what the body
can do. It’s strong. It's agile. It's artistic
and graceful. So I just don't think that the
training has ever been there historically to
ever focus on the mental and emotional
side of the athletes experience.
11
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
Title: Model, actress, and former elite gymnast
0:31
IMG 8576- Archival
Zoya competes on bars
I was training to be an Olympic gymnast.
Around 16, I realized that I kept getting
hurt.
VO/SOT Lisa Mitzel
0:42
Clip 27
Selena squats down with coach
Clip 29
Selena does flips down the floor
You're getting athletes, you're getting
young girls, young gymnasts who are
willing to push and push and push through
it. And then you will see a certain
percentage who can survive.
VO Zoya Johnson
0:55;11
Clip 162
Zoya puts face up to the sun
But humans, not even just gymnasts. We're
at a point where we understand enough
about how we function as a species to also
understand that survival is not enough.
VO Lisa Mitzel
1:12
Clip 78
Zoya looks ahead
Clip 158
Selena on beam
Clip 99
Zoya models
Clip 64
Zoya does yoga on beach
IMG-8561- Archival
Zoya does front aerial on beam
*DIP TO WHITE
Growing up, dealing with pressure, having
to work very hard when you have that
great desire inside of you; that it isn't
sacrifice everything to reach it. It's always
a balance.
12
Title Reveal “Finding Balance”
*DIP TO BLACK
Music fades
Beach Sequence
Establishing shot of sunrise
Getty Image
NAT SOUND
1:46
Clip 018
Zoya walks out of corridor
Clip 20
Walks towards door
Clip 21
Closes door behind her (exits frame)
Clip 23
Gets in car
VO Zoya Johnson
Title: Model, actress, and former elite gymnast
1:56
Clip 29
Zoya’s hand on the wheel
Clip 25
Zoya drives
Clip 32
Gets out of car
Gymnastics was my entire life for the first 22,
23 years of my life.
13
VO Zoya Johnson
NAT SOUND
2:16
Clip 33
Establishing shot of street
Clip 34
Zoya packs her things
Clip 84
Cutaway of palm trees
Clip 35
Takes bag and closes trunk
I was training to be an Olympic gymnast, and
around 16 , I realized that I kept getting hurt.
NAT SOUND
VO Zoya Yaseka Johnson
2:29
Clip 86
Shot of street
Clip 36
Zoya walks to beach
Clip 37
Walks out of frame
From that point, it was kind of like
okay, what is next?
NAT SOUND
2:39
Shot of the ocean
“Dockweiler Beach, California”
14
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
2:46;03
Clip 72
Does press handstand
During gymnastics, I had a lot of overuse
and growth related issues. So like weak
growth plates, lots of swelling in my joints,
tendonitis, fevers, stress fractures in both
knees. The kind of things you'll see in like a
70, 80-year -old person at 13.
NAT SOUND
VO Zoya Johnson
3:02
Clip 60
Yoga
Clip 61
Yoga
I've had nine concussions. Concussion six, I
kneed myself in the face on a double
Arabian. So I had, like, a black eye.
Everything from here was swollen.
//When I went to school the next day, like
there was just ringing in my ears the whole
day. So, of course, I didn't go to practice,
right?
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
3:28;18
Clip 62
Yoga
Clip 62
Yoga
Clip 64
Yoga
Clip 65
Yoga
But someone else had gotten a black eye,
maybe a day or two before, and she came
to practice. So when I came back two days
later, that's the first thing I heard.
//Mind you, the re's still ringing in my ears.

But there's nothing
visibly wrong with
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
3:54;08
Clip 76
Packs up blanket
Clip 85
Establishing shot of street
What the concussions did for me was
made me realize that as long as there's breath
as long as I am able, there's a purpose for my
life.
you besides the bruising, you kno w?
in my body,//
15
Clip 78
Walks up pathway
Clip 81
Walks up pathway (front view)
Clip 82
Walks behind purple flowers
NAT SOUND
4:09;00
Clip 90
Closes trunk
Clip 89
Shot of street
Clip 91
Gets into car, closes door
*DIP TO BLACK
Archival Sequence
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
4:19
IMG-8561-Archival
Starts beam routine
When I was a gymnast, one I wanted to win.
Two, I wanted the validation. And three, it
felt good to accomplish those things and
have something tangible to say, like I'm
awesome.
NAT SOUND
VO Zoya Johnson
IMG-8569-Archival
Vault
Archival 1651
Climbs rope
In club, there was never really a point where//
I could be real about how I was feeling.
16
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
4:56;03
IMG 8576- Bar routine
Getty Image
Picture of grips
I do remember this one time distinctly like I
had to break my grips in. So I broke them in for
the rest of the morning practice. And when we
came back in the afternoon, I was told that I had
to do my entire assignment from the morning,
combine it with my assignment for the
afternoon. Usually you give yourself like a
couple practices, at least, to break in new grips.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
5:16;16
IMG 8576-Archival
Slow motion
The major release was like a ray. You know,
when you start in a handstand, put your
toes on circle at the bottom released. Let go
and catch again. And I remember missing
the release, standing up and being like, I
can't even remember what I-, but I
screamed.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
IMG 8576-Archival
completes bar routine
She was like “Get out of here!” And I just
remember saying something like, //
“This isn't sa fe!//
I don't feel safe!” And then being made to
apologize the next day.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
IMG 8561
Beam routine
I remember even that year there was a
point where one of my coaches was like,
“You guys are all lazy!” I was like, where
though?! How? How do you expect us to
stay motivated? How do you expect our
spirits to not be broken for this to be what
you're saying when we're not perfect for 5
seconds? // Where does it end? When does
it end?
TEXTCARD
6:21
Romanian gymnastics coaches, Bela and Marta Karolyi,
worked as the National Team coordinators for USA
gymnastics for over 30 years before retiring after the 2016
Rio Olympics.
The pair was notorious for their strict coaching styles, in
which they used authoritarian tactics while working with
young athletes. This coaching style led to an investigation
concerning the training environments of USAG.
17
Today, more than 200,000 athletes,
professionals, and clubs are members of USA
Gymnastics.
*DIPS TO BLACK
Gymcats Sequence 1
NAT SOUND
8:34
Clip 11
Shot of Gym
Clip 7
Close up of calendar
Clip 3
Shot of leotards
Clip 5
Pan of leotards
Clip 4
Cutaway of leotard
Clip 24
Shot of Olympic flag
NAT SOUND
VO Cassandra Rice
Title: Owner of
GymcaGymnastics
9:00
Clip 26
Selena does conditioning
Clip 28
Cassie watches
Clip 26
Selena continues
exercises
Clip 41
Cutaway of clock
So from the beginning when I was a
younger coach, we followed Bela Karolyi
and kind of that harsher, rigid and tough
coaching style. He didn't know that it was
harming self-esteem and harming people
who become adults later and feeling good
about themselves.
18
Clip 26
Selena continues exercises
Clip 30
Does conditioning on bars
SOT Cassandra Rice
7:54
Clip 30
Bar conditioning
Clip 34
Cassie coaches
Clip 30
Bar conditioning
Clip 34
Cassie coaches
It goes, six, chin up pull over! Six,
forward roll, chin pull over!
VO/SOT Cassandra Rice
8:02;04
Clip 40
Shot of Water bottle
Clip 25
Cassie moves equipment
Constantly criticizing and telling them
what's wrong and what they need to do
more of without involvement from them and
choice that does harm their self-esteem and
it does take control away from them, and
that's really hard on them.
VO/SOT Cassandra Rice
NAT Sound
8:14
Clip 32
Clip 33
Shot of Selena
Clip 29
Shot of gym
Clip 33
Selena does front tucks
I try to help each athlete with where
they're at and what their goals are
because every athlete doesn't have the
same goals. It's not always great to want
your goal to be training 4 to 5 hours a day
and giving up everything else for it. So we
really try to help them and guide them and
go, It's okay to take breaks. It's okay not
to train every single day. And though that
kind of choice has helped them finish their
gymnastics career and not have this
negative feeling about themselves and
their job.
19
Clip 45
Cassie watches
Clip 33 (Continued)
Clip 27
Looks at paper
VO/SOT Cassandra Rice
NAT SOUND
8:52
Clip 28
Close up of paper
Clip 28
Shot of selena
Clip 36
Does exercises
Clip 51
Wraps hands
So Selena went all the way to the elite
level and did very, very well. She finished
her junior year. I think she ended up 10th
or 12th in the country, which was
amazing. She knew that the five, 6 hours
a day was just a little too much. So she
didn't choose to go on to the senior ranks
in elite gymnastics and just go back to
the what we call the junior development
level. It has just been the best decision for
her to try to just focus on college. You
know, getting a scholarship in which she
has.
SOT Cassandra Rice
NAT SOUND
9:31
Clip 53
Cassie speaks
Clip 54
Selena listens/puts on grips
For the basics, to hips, off of a block. So we
could just bring over any block. Roll the
dice. And under swing big baby, big baby,
roll the dice.
NAT SOUND
VO Cassandra Rice
9:42
Clip 54
Finishes putting on grips
Clip 69
Selena swings on bars
Because gymnastics can be grueling and
tiring and boring because you're
repeating skills and trying to perfect
them. We try to do a game atmosphere,
so it's a little bit more fun and there's
teams and contests and games
associated with our workouts.
20
Clip 55
Cassie picks up cards
Clip 71
Selena takes cards (close up)
Clip 72
Selena plays with cards
VO/SOT Cassandra Rice
Clip 72
Selena plays with cards
Clip 73
Points to pile of cards
Clip 67
Jumps up to high bar
Clip 62
Tightens grips
VO/SOT Cassandra Rice
Clip 72
Selena plays with cards
Clip 73
Points to pile of cards
Clip 67
Jumps up to high bar
Clip 62
Tightens grips
VO Cassandra Rice
When it becomes too important and too
stressful and everything is hinging on you
doing this. It creates this… I call it bricks on
your shoulders where they're so stressed
out and it's so hard for them that you
know it. It's creating a stress that doesn't
need to be there if we just kind of
minimize the importance of it all.// So
Selena, because she had that elite
background, her gymnastics skills are
really, really good. So there's both sides to
it. Like what was good about elite, but
then if you do it too harshly, they'll want
to quit a little bit earlier than they would
have if you didn't train them that way.
21
VO Cassandra Rice
10:22
Clip 86
Walks towards bars
Clip 88 - Swings on bars
Clip 91
Swings on bars
Clip 88 (Continues)
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Selena Harris
10:43
Clip 111
Shot of spray bottle
Clip 89
Selena tightens grips
Clip 112
Shot of gym
Clip 117
Selena swings on bars
Clip 56
Cassie shuffles cards and waves
*DIP TO BLACK
So Selena, because she had that elite
background, her gymnastics skills are
really, really good. So there's both sides
to it. Like what was good about elite,
but then if you do it too harshly, they'll
want to quit a little bit earlier than they
would have if you didn't train them that
way.
I remember when I was doing elite, like,
there was a lot of girls that would say
their coaches are so hard on them and
their practices are for hours long. And I
would come here and I just like do my
normal 3-4 hour practice, my coaches
give me high five, we play connect 4,
(laughs) like it’s just little things like
that. Playing with cards or playing with
chips, there’s so many pieces. It just
helps you take faster turns without you
even realizing it. So she tries to form it
into a way where we don’t really see us
working that hard, but we are actually.
So she’s a smarty that way.
Hiking Sequence 1
NAT SOUND
11:29
Clip 10- Shot of mountains
Clip 14 – Zips up backpack
Clip 15- Picks up backpack
Clip 20 - Walks up hill
22
VO Zoya Johnson
11:40
Clip 21 – 25- Walks up hill
Clip 35- Shot of mountains
I had the concussions and realized that I
couldn't compete or workout or do
gymnastics at the level that I had been
doing it my entire life. So I kind of fell into
coaching because I had
always been really good at it.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
12:00
Clip 25- Continues walking up hill
DJI-0805- Drone shot of mountains
I also realized that I did not want my kids
to leave. My hands broken, the way I felt
like the sport had left me and my
teammates and most of the gymnasts
that I had known in my
career.
SOT Zoya Johnson
12:17
Clip 11- Shot of mountains
Clip 37- Zoya talks to camera
Clip 44- Shot of mountains
If you type in submarine rock and just
continue past the rock, we're here. We're up
Coral Canyon. And I am here this morning
with my partner, Matai. We caught the
sunrise this morning because that's my
favorite thing to do. So we're going to catch
some cool shots while we're up here and
we're going to start our day on the best foot
possible.
NAT SOUND
VO Zoya Johnson
15:11
Clip 84- Red jacket on the ground
Clip 31- Stretches arms out
Gymnastics...the culture was very toxic,
even as a coach.
NAT SOUND
VO Zoya Johnson
Clip 63- Shot of mountains
For example, I had a situation where I had
a head coach that I was working with.
23
VO/SOT Zoya Yaseka Johnson
13:07
Clip 29- Zoya meditates
Clip 30- Continues meditating
Clip 82- Takes pictures of Matai
Clip 77- shot of engraving on rock
I had gotten into this habit of getting on
the child's level when I needed to really
connect with them. And so I would get
down, take their hands in my hands, and
we would have whatever conversation
on a very grounded level. And it would
create a situation where I was letting
them know that they're safe.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
13:32
Clip 87- Zoya takes pictures
Clip 85- takes pictures
And I noticed that the same coach would
take those
mannerisms. And after saying something
very damaging, doing something very
damaging, do the same things.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
13:47
Clip 56- Close up of climbing socks
Clip 49- Art engraved on rock
Clip 98- Zoya puts on coat
Clip 110- Couple walks onto a new trial
//emotionally, you're programing that
child to say, I've just abused you, but this
is love. Think about that. Think about
how many children are subject to that
because they're really good at what they
do.
Gymcats Sequence 2
NAT SOUND
16:46
Clip 176- Shots of beams
Clip 136- Close up of beam
Clip 162- Child colors
Clip 138- Athlete flips on beam
Clip 143- Selena cheers on teammate
Clip 135- Cutaway of blocks and cubes
24
VO/SOT Selena Harris
14:29
Clip 140- Close up of feet on beam
Clip 136- Selena does back handsprings
Clip 151-Does front toss on floor
Clip 153- Does side aerial on floor
Clip 134- Selena looks at teammates
Clip 148- Athlete turns on beam
Gymnastics is like an escape place for me.
The sport just needs to be really, really, toxic
from what I've heard. And it's caused a lot of
issues for a lot of girls, which I haven't had to
experience, which I'm super grateful for
because my coaches being super positive
that they are. It's definitely helped me to not
be like negative to myself and to not like
basically hate myself like other girls do
because of the way their coaches make them
feel. It's just mentally challenging.
NAT SOUND
17:35
Clip 162- Red chalk bin
Clip 171- Selena does tricks on beams
VO/SOT Selena Harris
17:47
Clip 171- Falls on dismount
Clip 159- Looks for marker on ground
Clip 160- Selena colors/closes marker
Clip 160- Sits on ground-looks around
*DIP TO BLACK
I remember two summers ago, I had like a huge
mental block on my dismount. So when Simone
said she had the twisties at the Olympics, like, I
understood that because I had the twisties, I
wasn't able to do my dismount for months. So
when she showed that she had the twisties, like
the goat has like a problem that every other
gymnast probably has. It feels good that people
can make mistakes like that and show that she's
not okay to compete. So makes me feel better.
NAT SOUND
18:26
Clip 51- Street signs
Clip 47- Front door
Clip 45- Shot of flowers
Clip 38- Buddha fountain (close up)
Clip 37-Buddha fountain
25
NAT SOUND
VO Lisa Mitzel
Title: Mental Training and Mental Health Coach
Clip 27- Lisa shuffles through mail
Clip 43- Stack of books (close-up)
Clip 23- picks up jewelry from dresser
Clip 16- Lisa reads a book
When coaches and parents, their intention
is to see their young gymnasts have success,
that they put that as the priority. And
maybe it's unintentional too, for them to
ignore or not think about their mental and
emotional health.
VO/SOT Lisa Mitzel
16:32
Clip 15- Close up of book
Clip 9- Shot of window
Clip 12- Close up of book
Clip 149- Selena does beam routine
Clip 158- Selena does beam routine
As adults, we're looking at this
training in these athletes through the
adult lens. If I was a tough athlete and
I think I was, I could do it. Why can't
you? Then we're not looking at it
through their lens, through their
thoughts, their feelings, their
nervousness.
VO/SOT Lisa Mitzel
16:53
Clip 149- Selena does beam routine
Clip 158- Selena does beam routine
Clip 147- Selena does beam routine
So we really have to kind of shift our
view and our and be curious. That's the
huge word right there is, be curious;
because when we are, then we're not
in this position of power, but now
we're relating to them.
NAT SOUND
VO Lisa Mitzel
17:15;11
Clip 182- Child jumps on trampoline
Clip 189- Selena tumbles on trampoline
Clip 188- Selena tumbles on trampoline
Clip 115- gymcats sign on equipment
Clip 190- Teammate tumbles on trampoline
Clip 212- Vault coach speaks
Clip 211- Close up of Selena
The child's brain does not fully develop
until their mid-twenties; 25 or older.
The more that we say “you're not
working hard enough”, then that's
what they say to themselves,// What
they see then is mirrored back in their
own mind.
NAT SOUND
VO Lisa Mitzel
Clip 201- Athlete vaults
Clip 194- Teammate throws blocks in the pit
Clip 195- Selena sits behind red mat
Clip 200 -Athlete vaults
Clip 202- repositions equipment
So the fact that we keep in gymnastics
criticizing and even telling them they're
not good enough,//, we don't recognize
that now, we're developing the child's
brain to think in that negative way.
26
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Lisa Mitzel
Clip 164- Selena smiles at teammates
Clip 210- Athletes vault together
Clip 92- Gymcats sign on tumble track
Clip 185- Selena tumbles on trampoline
Helping them just little by little, they will
perform better when they get 10 seconds to
take a pause, and take a breath. And the
coaches are like hmm? You know, because they
have numbers to get done. They want to get in
the repetitions. But then I'll say, you invest just
a little bit of time and you will get a better,
more motivated, more focused athlete.
And the performance will show it.
NAT SOUND
18:22
Clip 224- Selena runs towards vault
Clip 226- Lands vault
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Lisa Mitzel
18:30
Clip 98- Parents in the viewing room
Clip 215- Selena fans herself
Clip 225- Cutaway of red mat
Clip 237- Athlete vaults
Clip 222- Teammate adjusts equipment
Clip 198- Athlete moves shoulders
I think the coaches and parents are
just not aware. And that's what we're
doing is we're increasing awareness
because we literally are damaging
these kids mental health and
wellbeing by just focusing on success.
NAT SOUND
VO Lisa Mitzel
18:45
Clip 233- Selena run towards vault
Clip 235- lands on mat
Clip 232- Teammate adjusts equipment
Clip 231- Athlete vaults
*DIP TO BLACK
Hiking Sequence 2
And then who are they if
they're not this successful
athlete?// And that's painful.
27
NAT SOUND
19:01
Clip 17- Shot of sunrise
Clip 107- Trail sign
Clip 262- Zoya and partner walk past flowers
VO Zoya Johnson
19:27
Clip 264- Zoya and partner walk down from hill
Clip 193- Walk towards large rock
For most of my life. I was very easily
described as a gymnast, and I would
have described myself that way.
VO Zoya Johnson
19:38
Clip 198- Zoya looks at rock
Clip 202- Takes pictures
And then there was kind of this
background character who was
always developing, who was like
trying to get out of gymnastics and
that identity.
NAT SOUND
VO/SOT Zoya Yaseka Johnson
19:52
Clip 199- Zoya takes pictures of Matai
Clip 201- Matai sticks his head out of rock
Clip 200- Matai Climbs rock
Clip 205- Zoya climbs rock
Matai is like a jack of all trades. //Super
adventurous and like has had a life where he
was able to try a lot of things all the time,
you know, and I've only gotten to that place
probably within the last like six years, you
know, where I'm trying things that aren't
specific to gymnastics, you know?
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
20:24
Clip 206- Reaches to the top of the rock
When you're doing anything that's,
like, extreme and, like, gives you a
rush of adrenaline. This is where I
want to stay. Even as an adult, I can
see myself, you know, unlearning
that need for validation.
28
NAT SOUND
Clip 207- Zoya falls down rock
Clip 229- Cutaway to flowers
NAT SOUND
SOT Zoya Johnson & Matai Blackwell
20:52
Clip 208- Zoya shows bleeding hand
Matai: Why does it trigger so much
stress in you right now?
Zoya: Go away.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
21:03
Clip 208- Zoya shows bleeding hand
I still have a hard time not being
the best at things. I still have a
hard time being a beginner at
things.
SOT Zoya Johnson & Matai Blackwell
21:11
Clip 209- Matai and Zoya talk
Matai: It’s behind you but it’s never
not with you.
Zoya: I don’t want to do this.
Matai: You don’t want to get hurt.
Zoya: No.
VO/SOT Zoya Johnson
21:21
Clip 217- Sits on rock; looks at bleeding hand
Clip 233- Cutaway of plant
I got to a point where I was like, you
are going to have to try it. And it'll be
okay if it's not perfect or you look
stupid or like, you know, you have no
idea what you're doing. Like, it's okay!
29
SOT Zoya Johnson
24:18
Clip 234- Cutaway of flowers
Clip 216- Zoya sits on rock
I love being in nature. It's like always
medicine and you're always getting
exactly what you need it like,
depending on where you are mentally,
spiritually, physically. Like you get what
you need every time you come out.
SOT Zoya Johnson
21:57
Clip 175- shot of pathway
Clip 218- Zoya sits on rock
Clip 232- Burnt tree branches
It’s a little triggering seeing a rip on
my hand. It’s like, ugh.
NAT SOUND
SOT Zoya Johnson
22:08
Clip 232- Burnt tree branches
Clip 210 - Close up of Zoya’s feet
*DIP TO BLACK
I think I handled it quite well!
Photo Shoot Sequence
NAT SOUND
22:19
Clip 117 -Zoya walks with her partner
Clip 116 - Walks with her partner
NAT SOUND
22:26
Clip 109 - “Arts District” sign
30
VO Zoya Johnson
22:30
Clip 101- poses with partner for photo shoot
Clip 103 -Poses are held; characters slowly exit
frame
It’s been really cool to tap into the
creative part of myself. It's been really
cool to kind of be living out the
childhood dreams I had before
gymnastics took over my life.
VO Zoya Johnson
22:50
Clip 97 - Zoya models
Clip 96- Continues posing
Clip 97- turns body
Clip 98 – Poses
Once I couldn't do gymnastics at the level
that I was used to doing it that there
were many other things I was good at.
There was so many other things that I was
that I just completely didn't even forget
about like, they did not register the same.
NAT SOUND
23:12
Clip 95 – Continues posing
TEXTCARD
“Zoya models for We Speak Model Management,
an agency that focuses on overcoming traditional
beauty standards Clip 31 -Shot of street
Clip 105 -Establishing shot of “2nd St” Sign
VO Zoya Johnson
23:28
Clip 10- Zoya models
Clip 11 -buttons up her jacket
The gymnastics journey had been
very magical in the sense that I said I
wanted to go to the Olympics and
that kind of path unfolded to do it at
the highest level. The same thing
happened once I changed my focus.
NAT SOUND
23:46
Clip 12 - Matai comes into shot
Clip 13- Zoya poses with Matai
31
VO Johnson
Clip 14 - Zoya poses with Matai
Clip 15 - Zoya looks into the distance
Clip 16- close-up of heels; steps out of frame
After the experience as an
athlete, when I was phased
out I felt forced out due to
injury. // I felt broken.
VO Johnson
24:11
Clip 32 -Poses with matai
So after gymnastics I really had to
come to a place of finding who I was
without that title.
MONTAGE Begins
24:19
Clip 53 - Zoya poses next to a gray wall
Clip 54 - poses next to a gray wall
[Instrumental Music plays]
MONTAGE
Clip 01- poses with her partner in alley way
Clip 17 - walks with her partner in the street
Clip 86 - poses with partner against wall with
vines
[Instrumental Music]
MONTAGE
Clip 61- poses with partner against black
gate
Clip 88- poses on ladder
TEXTCARD- As a consultant to Jamaica’s
Amateur Gymnastics Association, Zoya
helps to build the Olympic Program in her
home country, Jamaica.
[Instrumental Music]
32
MONTAGE
Clip 93 - poses in front of a parking garage
Clip 85 - poses by a yellow car with Matai
Clip 99- Models with Matai
TEXTCARD- She does through her mindfulness
programming, Prescription for Life, which teaches
coaches and athletes how to mentally and
emotionally sustain their highest selves.
Clip 04 - Poses with partner by gated stairs
[Instrumental Music]
MONTAGE
Clip 20- poses with Matai
Clip 58- poses with Matai
Clip 59- Zoya and Matai walk down the sidewalk;
photographers follow behind them
*DIP TO BLACK
[Instrumental Music]
25:05
TEXTCARD
In 2017, Former U.S.A. Gymnastics
Team doctor, Larry Nassar, was
sentenced to life in prison for sexually
abusing over 250 young women who
were under the care of USAG. *DIP TO
BLACK
25:13
TEXTCARD
Since then, current and former gymnasts have
come forward on social media to address the
culture of abuse that has been prevalent
throughout the sport’s history.
*DIP TO BLACK
[Instrumental Music]
25:22
TEXTCARD
Today, young women like Zoya continue to
speak out against the culture and work to make
the sport a safer environment for its current and
former athletes.
*DIP TO BLACK
[Instrumental Music]

Abstract (if available)

Abstract “Finding Balance” is a documentary about a young woman who works to overcome the mental and emotional trauma elite gymnastics caused her, all while finding her identity outside of the sport as a model and actress. This thesis is a critical analysis of the documentary that provides an explanation as to how and why such abuses in the sport of elite gymnastics have occurred. The research and theories found align with the personal experiences of my subjects in the documentary, and could be used as a learning tool for coaches who wish to make the sport a safer environment for its current and future athletes.

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Asset Metadata

Creator Hazzard, Halle Michelle (author)

Core Title Finding balance

School Annenberg School for Communication

Degree Master of Science

Degree Program Specialized Journalism

Degree Conferral Date 2022-12

Publication Date 10/19/2022

Defense Date 10/19/2022

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag Abuse,Coaching,elite gymnastics,herd mentality,injuries,OAI-PMH Harvest,vulnerability theory

Format theses (aat)

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor Birman, Daniel (committee chair), Fellenzer, Jeffrey (committee member), Turner, Myra (committee member)

Creator Email halle2417@gmail.com,hhazzard@usc.edu

Permanent Link (DOI) https://doi.org/10.25549/usctheses-oUC112124631

Unique identifier UC112124631

Identifier etd-HazzardHal-11277.pdf (filename)

Legacy Identifier etd-HazzardHal-11277

Document Type Thesis

Format theses (aat)

Rights Hazzard, Halle Michelle

Internet Media Type application/pdf

Type texts

Source 20221019-usctheses-batch-987 (), University of Southern California (contributing entity), University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses (collection)

Access Conditions The author retains rights to his/her dissertation, thesis or other graduate work according to U.S. copyright law. Electronic access is being provided by the USC Libraries in agreement with the author, as the original true and official version of the work, but does not grant the reader permission to use the work if the desired use is covered by copyright. It is the author, as rights holder, who must provide use permission if such use is covered by copyright. The original signature page accompanying the original submission of the work to the USC Libraries is retained by the USC Libraries and a copy of it may be obtained by authorized requesters contacting the repository e-mail address given.

Repository Name University of Southern California Digital Library

Repository Location USC Digital Library, University of Southern California, University Park Campus MC 2810, 3434 South Grand Avenue, 2nd Floor, Los Angeles, California 90089-2810, USA

Repository Email cisadmin@lib.usc.edu