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Defectum: a journey toward embracing failure

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Defectum: a journey toward embracing failure

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DEFECTUM

A Journey Toward Embracing Failure

by

Cassidy Pong

A Thesis Presented to the
FACULTY OF THE USC SCHOOL OF CINEMATIC ARTS
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF FINE ARTS
(INTERACTIVE MEDIA)

May 2023

Copyright 2023 Cassidy Pong

ii

Acknowledgements

No amount of words can express the amount of gratitude I have for those who have supported
me throughout the development of Defectum. Despite being a solo project, everyone has shown
and given me a tremendous amount of support and encouragement. Without them, Defectum
would not be the project it is today. Listed below are the individuals who have supported me in
making my project a reality.

First and foremost, I would like to express my utmost gratitude toward Marientina Gotsis, my
thesis chair—her insight, extensive knowledge, understanding, and encouragement were crucial
to the development of Defectum and my growth as a person. Sean Bouchard gave me much
critical feedback, empathy, and support, keeping me grounded and focused on completing what I
could to the best of my abilities. And Robyn Gray for her guidance through a hard thesis year
and providing thoughtful and attentive feedback.

In addition to my committee, I also wanted to thank Maks Naporowski, Laird Malamed, Martzi
Campos, and Jeffery Newell. Maks Naporowski for his immense knowledge in narrative and 3D
work, providing fun and creative ideas throughout the development process. Laird Malamed for
his very thorough feedback and critical insight that made Defectum a better project. Martzi
Campos for her constructive criticism and a keen eye for pointing out specific areas for
improvement. And Jeffery Newell for his tremendous knowledge in the clinical world—teaching
me to become more mindful and aware of my own thoughts and feelings that were used and
addressed within the project.

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Furthermore, my project would not be where it is today without the help of Cloud Tian, Leon
Cruz, and Yimin Zhang. Thank you, Cloud Tian, for your guidance and direction through my
thesis year and for creating a compelling song for my project. And special thanks to Leon Cruz
and Yimin Zhang for your expertise and proficiency in Unreal Engine 4; without you both, I
would not have been able to create and achieve certain features in my project. I also want to take
a moment to thank my cohort—collaborating with them for the past three years has been a wild
ride and I will cherish the moments we had together for a lifetime.

Finally, I would like to thank my friends and family who have shown me incredible support and
encouraged and reassured me when I went through hard times. Thank you everyone for believing
in me—without you, Defectum would not be the project that it is today.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements ..................................................................................................................... ii
List of Figures ............................................................................................................................ vi
Abstract ..................................................................................................................................... vii
Chapter One: Introduction/Artist Statement ............................................................................... 1
Chapter Two: Project Overview .................................................................................................. 3
The Project ............................................................................................................................... 3
Experience Goals ..................................................................................................................... 3
Pillars/Features ........................................................................................................................ 3
Intended Audience ................................................................................................................... 3
Scope of the Project ................................................................................................................. 4
Chapter Three: Game Design/Methodology ............................................................................... 5
Use of Personal Experiences to Create a Narrative ................................................................. 5
Immersion and the Use of VR ................................................................................................. 5
The Flow of the Game ............................................................................................................. 7
Utilizing the Environment and Sound ..................................................................................... 7
Aesthetic Influences: The Visual and Auditory ...................................................................... 9
Chapter Four: The Experience .................................................................................................. 13
Rain/Room of Doors .............................................................................................................. 13
Control ................................................................................................................................... 14
Drowning ............................................................................................................................... 15

v

Judgment ................................................................................................................................ 16
Inner Turmoil ......................................................................................................................... 17
End/The Mirror ...................................................................................................................... 18
Chapter Five: The Development Process .................................................................................. 20
Storyboarding ........................................................................................................................ 20
Prototyping ............................................................................................................................ 22
Platforms ................................................................................................................................ 23
Chapter Six: Lessons Learned ................................................................................................... 24
Critique and Feedback ........................................................................................................... 24
The Importance of Playtesting ............................................................................................... 25
Technical Challenges ............................................................................................................. 25
Insights Gained ...................................................................................................................... 26
Chapter Seven: Conclusion ....................................................................................................... 27
Current Status and Next Steps ............................................................................................... 27
References ................................................................................................................................. 28
Appendix – Defectum Storyboards ........................................................................................... 30

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List of Figures

FIGURE 1 - IMAGE FROM JOOST JORDENS’S TRANSITION (2016) .................................................................. 6
FIGURE 2 - IMAGE FROM JOOST JORDENS’S TRANSITION (2016) .................................................................. 6
FIGURE 3 - IMAGE OF BILL VIOLA’S TINY DEATHS (1993) .............................................................................. 8
FIGURE 4 - IMAGE OF BILL VIOLA’S MARTYRS (EARTH, AIR, FIRE, WATER) (2014) ................................. 9
FIGURE 5 - SCREENSHOT FROM WINSTON DUKE’S LIFELONGFICTION (2016-PRESENT)...................... 10
FIGURE 6 - SCREENSHOT FROM WINSTON DUKE’S LIFELONGFICTION (2016-PRESENT)...................... 11
FIGURE 7 - SCREENSHOT FROM ALEXANDER TARVEL’S THE LONGEST WALK (2022) ......................... 11
FIGURE 8 - SCREENSHOT FROM ALEXANDER TARVEL’S THE LONGEST WALK (2022) ......................... 12
FIGURE 9 - “RAIN/ROOM OF DOORS” SCENE .................................................................................................... 14
FIGURE 10 - “CONTROL” SCENE........................................................................................................................... 15
FIGURE 11 - “DROWNING” SCENE ....................................................................................................................... 16
FIGURE 12 - “JUDGMENT” SCENE ........................................................................................................................ 17
FIGURE 13 - “INNER TURMOIL” SCENE .............................................................................................................. 18
FIGURE 14 - “END/THE MIRROR” SCENE ............................................................................................................ 19
FIGURE 15 - STORYBOARD OF “RAIN/ROOM OF DOORS” SCENE ................................................................ 21
FIGURE 16 - STORYBOARD OF “INNER TURMOIL” SCENE ............................................................................ 22
FIGURE 17 - STORYBOARD OF “CONTROL” SCENE ......................................................................................... 30
FIGURE 18 - STORYBOARD OF “DROWNING” SCENE ..................................................................................... 31
FIGURE 19 - STORYBOARD OF “JUDGMENT” SCENE ...................................................................................... 32
FIGURE 20 - STORYBOARD OF “END/MIRROR” SCENE .................................................................................. 33
FIGURE 21 - ORIGINAL STORYBOARD OF REMOVED “FAILING GRADES” SCENE .................................. 34
FIGURE 22 - ORIGINAL STORYBOARD OF REMOVED “INDECISION” SCENE ............................................ 35
FIGURE 23 - ORIGINAL STORYBOARD OF REMOVED “DISAPPOINTMENT” SCENE ............................... 36

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Abstract
Defectum is a virtual reality (VR) experience that seeks to express and give players a sense of the
fear of failure by utilizing and visualizing my personal experiences and transforming them into a
VR experience. Players are given the opportunity to take a “walk in my shoes” and view the
world through an intimate lens—they will face feelings and emotions such as anxiety, unease,
and a loss of hope and are encouraged to take their time to explore and experience the visuals
that are presented to them.

1

Chapter One: Introduction/Artist Statement
Fear of failure is described as “a tendency to appraise threat and feel anxious during situations
that involve the possibility of failing” (Conroy et al., 2007). In the past, it has been characterized
by two distinct motivational behaviors: the first is recognized as the motivation to pursue
success, and the second is the need to avoid failure (Elliot and Sheldon, 1997). According to
Schultz, 1999, “Individuals whose motive to achieve success exceeds their motive to avoid
failure are said to have achievement-oriented personalities, whereas, if the opposite is true, they
are said to have failure-threatened personalities.”

I struggle with wavering degrees of fear of failure. It is both a motivator and a handicap that has
affected me for as long as I can remember—it has pushed me to excel in academics, work, and
extracurricular activities, but oftentimes I find myself distressed and unmotivated, causing me to
hesitate and falter in many situations.
1

When approaching the development of Defectum, one of my goals was to create a piece of
artistic expression—an experience that gives its viewers a sense of the fear of failure
accompanied by the emotions and feelings that can arise from it. One of the most challenging
factors of Defectum was determining a way to illustrate and portray a profoundly abstract and
emotionally charged experience that could be understood and related to by others.

1
Atkinson, John William. “Motivational determinants of risk-taking behavior.” Psychological Review, vol. 64, Part
1 (6), Nov. 1957, pp. 359-72, doi:10.1037/h0043445.

2

An early motivator I had when developing Defectum was my interest in the field of exposure
therapy
2
and utilizing games and virtual reality (VR) as a means to treat patients who suffer from
anxiety disorders.
3
However, the core intention of Defectum was not intended to be used in this
way. But keeping this interest in mind, I wanted to create a project that has the potential to raise
awareness about what a phenomenon feels like, similar to that of Erin Reynolds’s Nevermind
4

and Lingxiao Wang’s Chaos.
5

Furthermore, an additional goal for creating Defectum was to learn and work with new programs
and technology platforms while being able to experiment with unique mechanics and narrative. I
took this time as an opportunity to teach myself Unreal Engine 4 and incorporate Quest 2. Both
were challenging in their own right. However, I believe I have achieved a great amount of
knowledge and self-sufficiency that can be applied to future projects.

In summation, Defectum was developed with the intent of self-expression, creating a meaningful
experience that may hopefully touch the heart of those who seek to understand new experiences.

2
Abramowitz, Jonathan S., et al. Exposure therapy for anxiety: Principles and practice. 2nd ed., Guilford
Publications, 2019; Craske, Michelle G et al. “Maximizing exposure therapy: an inhibitory learning approach.”
Behaviour research and therapy, vol. 58, May 2014, pp. 10-23, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006.

3
Alexandrovsky, Dmitry, et al. “Playful User-Generated Treatment: A Novel Game Design Approach for VR
Exposure Therapy.” Proceedings of the Annual Symposium on Computer-Human Interaction in Play (CHI PLAY
'20). Association for Computing Machinery, New York, NY, USA, Nov. 2020, pp. 32–45, https://doi-
org.libproxy2.usc.edu/10.1145/3410404.3414222.

4
Reynolds, Erin Elizabeth. Nevermind: Creating an Entertaining Biofeedback-Enhanced Game Experience to Train
Users in Stress Management. 2012. University of Southern California, Master of Fine Arts thesis, USC Libraries,
https://digitallibrary.usc.edu/Share/us7i61xhs236f850e84dxx5ff5t3g3uv.

5
Wang, Lingxiao. Chaos. 2021. University of Southern California, Master of Fine Arts thesis, USC Libraries,
https://digitallibrary.usc.edu/Share/7ocx7p7647dexga75h6yoc1m477n7a2j.

3

Chapter Two: Project Overview

The Project
Defectum is a VR experience that attempts to give viewers a sense of the fear of failure by
portraying abstract visuals derived from my own personal experiences. Players are invited to
enter stressful environments, each featuring unique visualizations of my perception of failure.

Experience Goals
Defectum is a first-person VR experience built on personal experiences that stem from my
personal fear of failure. The player’s goal is to explore and experience abstract depictions
associated with the fear of failure—feelings such as control, anxiety, depression, and loss of
hope.

Pillars/Features
Defectum relies on the use of a series of mini vignettes as a method to both separate and unify
differing experiences into a whole. To complement its simplicity, progression through the game
is controlled by a single mechanic that associates effectively with fear—the use of a “gaze”
mechanic (accurately controlled by head tracking). Players must focus and stare at objects in the
direction of their gaze in order to progress through each scene.

Intended Audience
The intention behind this project began as a form of personal creative expression. While it was
tailored toward my needs, the subject of the project could also be intended for a particular

4

audience—touching those who seek to understand others or those who wish to experience
something new.

Scope of the Project
The overall design of Defectum was to create a project encompassing a large collection of
varying experiences, however, considering the short timeframe and working solo, the project was
scoped down to focus on four main scenes in addition to a beginning and an end. A myriad of
technical challenges and visual/auditory aesthetics were also considered, leading to the decision
to rely more heavily on creating an environmental experience and focusing on ambiance and the
player’s surroundings rather than very fine detail work. Scoping down gave me the time required
to research, experiment, develop, and iterate as needed.

5

Chapter Three: Game Design/Methodology
When approaching the creation of Defectum, I was quick to realize that there would be many
components to this project that I would not be able to fully address, therefore, being decisive on
elements that I deemed most important became paramount, including the use of VR, determining
the flow of the game, and establishing the overall visual and auditory aesthetic.

Use of Personal Experiences to Create a Narrative
Defectum was developed based on my personal experiences, where the essence of each scene is
both abstractly and semi-realistically portrayed in a digital space. The core idea behind Defectum
stems from the emotions and feelings that I feel when faced with difficult challenges that harbor
the possibility of failing. These experiences range from feeling controlled and trapped by my fear
of failure, battling constant, negative internal thoughts, experiencing a sense of dread or
drowning, and feeling scared and judged by others.

Immersion and the Use of VR
With one of the primary goals of Defectum to evoke a sense of the fear of failure, the use of
virtual reality felt like a well-suited medium that would achieve the need of immersing its
audience. As evident in several notorious VR games such as Beatsaber,
6
Echo VR,
7
and Half-
Life: Alyx,
8
it has been shown that virtual reality provides a much more positive and immersive
experience than that of desktop games (Pallavincini and Pepe, 2019). Furthermore, great
inspiration was taken from Mike von Rotz and Joost Jordens’s piece: Transition
9
—a virtual

6
Beat Saber. Oculus Quest version, Beat Games, 2018.
7
Echo VR. Oculus Quest version, Meta, 2018.
8
Half-Life: Alyx. Personal Computer version, Valve Corporation, 2020.
9
Jordens, Joost. “Transition.” Transition, 2016, https://joostjordens.com/transition.

6

reality experience based on the music of Kettel & Secede - 'Canned Forever.' Despite the project
being a metaphor for death, their goal when creating Transition was to create a “soothing
experience,” inviting their audience to enjoy the piece while lying down and taking them on a
beautiful journey through mystical landscapes and mysterious creatures from one world into
another. Their ability to grasp and immerse their viewers into another world is desired and
something I sought to achieve with Defectum.

Figure 1 - Image from Joost Jordens’s Transition (2016)

Figure 2 - Image from Joost Jordens’s Transition (2016)

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The Flow of the Game
The gameplay of Defectum centers around the player exploring and experiencing an abstract
depiction of the fear of failure. The experience follows a simple, repetitive flow: the player
begins in a dark, empty space lit by a dull haze of blue. Rain sprinkles from above while water
droplets splash on the floor. Four pathways extend from where the player stands, greeting the
player with a set of four doors. Each door leads to its own scene: “Control,” “Drowning,” “Inner
Turmoil,” and “Judgment.” Players enter the doors one by one, returning to the set of doors after
completing a vignette. After a vignette is fully experienced, its respective door vanishes. Finally,
once all the doors are entered, a pathway extends forward from the player, and a mirror is
presented. When players stare at the mirror, it shatters, and the experience ends.

Utilizing the Environment and Sound
Although Defectum seeks to portray the feeling of fear of failure, it was never intended to be a
traditional horror experience that scared its viewers. Rather, it sought to focus on other aspects of
fear, such as feelings of dread and isolation. I was influenced by the work of Bill Viola,
10
in
particular, his installation pieces Tiny Deaths (1993)
11
and Martyrs (Earth, Air, Fire, Water)
(2014).
12
Tiny Deaths was an installation piece that relied on the use of sound and projections to
immerse its audience—fleeting projections of ghostly figures sporadically appeared and
disappeared while strange sounds and muffled dialogue enveloped the darkened room. Martyrs
(Earth, Air, Fire, Water) is a video installation consisting of four high-definition vertical
monitors, each depicting a single figure who is progressively overwhelmed by the onslaught of
the four classical elements. Although the installations look simple and modest, their presentation,

10
Viola, Bill. “Bill Viola.” Bill Viola. https://www.billviola.com/biograph.htm.
11
Viola, Bill. Tiny Deaths. 1993. Video Installation. Tate Modern, London.
12
Viola, Bill. Martyrs (Earth, Air, Fire, Water). 2014. Video Installation. St. Paul’s Cathedral, London.

8

use of surroundings, and application of sound turn them into profound and beautiful pieces of art.
With these elements in mind, it encouraged the use of darker features that were both abstract and
semi-realistic, in addition to the use of evocative sound effects and intense dialogue to heighten
the experience. Using traditional enemies felt unsuitable to the experience; therefore, I thought it
appropriate to utilize the space as an antagonist to stimulate and invoke chosen emotions.

Figure 3 - Image of Bill Viola’s Tiny Deaths (1993)

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Figure 4 - Image of Bill Viola’s Martyrs (Earth, Air, Fire, Water) (2014)

Aesthetic Influences: The Visual and Auditory
In conjunction with the use of space and sound to make an emotionally charged piece, it was
important to determine the visual and aural aesthetics. Finding a way to effectively portray
abstract concepts was a difficult task. Therefore, it was beneficial for me to look toward other
works of art for inspiration. I was greatly influenced by the works of Winston Duke’s
Lifelongfiction
13
: a series of abstract, animated gifs that seek to explore into the “world of
abstraction and wonderful organic entities.” All gifs are rendered in black and white, relying on
fluid motions and simple objects to create profound and fascinating animations. Even though
these gifs look simple in nature, they have influenced the visual aesthetics of Defectum to lean
toward a “dreamlike” yet realistic design, encouraging me to select a monochromatic/solid color
palette, which in turn, helped to keep the technical challenges to a minimum. Furthermore, sound
aesthetics play a significant role in Defectum; similar in theme, The Longest Walk
14
by
Alexander Tarvel is a biographical walking-simulator game about his father dealing with

13
Duke, Winston. “LIFELONGFICTION.” LIFELONGFICTION, 2016-present, https://lifelongfiction.com/.
14
Travel, Alexander. The Longest Walk. Personal Computer version, Abertay Game Lab, 2022.

10

depression. The game revolves around an audio recording of his father talking about his
depression, paired with pixelated imagery of Tay Road Bridge, an infamous landmark to those
who seek to end their life. This experience has inspired me to utilize emotional and evocative
dialogue to create and express a sensitive topic without having to rely on music to create an
immersive experience.

Figure 5 - Screenshot from Winston Duke’s LIFELONGFICTION (2016-present)

11

Figure 6 - Screenshot from Winston Duke’s LIFELONGFICTION (2016-present)

Figure 7 - Screenshot from Alexander Tarvel’s The Longest Walk (2022)

12

Figure 8 - Screenshot from Alexander Tarvel’s The Longest Walk (2022)

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Chapter Four: The Experience
As Defectum attempts to portray a sense of the fear of failure, every visual aspect of each
vignette needs to be symbolically important. A lot of the decisions made throughout the
development process were both intuitive and influenced by prior art—down below I will discuss
the thought processes and symbolism in each scene.

Rain/Room of Doors
The “Rain/Room of Doors” is one of the first scenes the player will see when starting the
experience. I wanted to open the experience with something profound and emotional akin to the
way Bill Viola uses the environment to create an experience; the use of rain felt appropriate and
suitable as a means to convey several different feelings and emotions, such as a sense of peace,
calmness, sorrow, and emptiness. Rain can be a very symbolically charged medium; to me, rain
can feel nostalgic, refreshing, and relaxing, but it can also be melancholic, sad, and depressing.
As a way to address both positive and negative feelings and emotions, I decided to open the
scene with a light sprinkle that gradually grows into a downpour as the player progresses through
the experience.

“Room of Doors,” is an accompanying scene that immediately follows the spawn of rain. Like
rain, doors are also symbolically charged objects, symbolizing both opportunity and
imprisonment. I decided to use doors to illustrate my way of compartmentalizing and confronting
my fear of failure—the doors keep me away from and contain the fear, but by choosing to enter a
door, I acknowledge that I will have to face what lies beyond it.

14

Figure 9 - “Rain/Room of Doors” Scene
Control
The “Control” level was built to explore the feelings of being controlled and held hostage by
debilitating thoughts from the fear of failure. Oftentimes, I feel like I am held against my will,
unable to do what I want or fully appreciate something I enjoy. I feel like my fear of failure
controls me, like I am a puppet, pulled and moved by the strings of fear. It traps and confines me,
preventing me from moving forward and progressing. To represent these feelings, I decided to
open the scene with a cage that falls from above, encapsulating the player, symbolizing the
feeling of being a prisoner or feeling like you are trapped and being held against your will. Next,
the cage sinks into the floor, spawning rays of light that recede away from the player across the
floor, climbing up toward the ceiling. Finally, a flurry of chains shoots out from the walls,
surrounding and enclosing the player, representing feelings of oppression, confinement, and
restriction.

15

Figure 10 - “Control” Scene
Drowning
The “Drowning” level explores the feelings of emotionally sinking and falling into a dark place.
When facing my fear of failure, I periodically feel lost and discouraged, as if I am drowning and
unable to stay afloat. To portray these emotions, the player is dropped into a large body of water
upon entering the scene without the ability to swim. Helpless, the player can only look around
them as they slowly sink to the bottom.

Furthermore, I often feel hopeless, as if there is no escape. When the player looks up toward the
water’s surface, rays of light shine and dance brilliantly but slowly dissipate as they sink deeper
and deeper to the bottom. But despite these negative feelings, I also experience moments of
courage and determination; even though the bottom may seem dark and ominous, a small amount
of light still reaches the bottom and projects itself onto the floor below.

16

Figure 11 - “Drowning” Scene
Judgment
A major aspect of my fear of failure is feeling worried and scared about being judged by others
as if my thoughts and actions are constantly monitored, watched, and evaluated. The “Judgment”
scene opens with a group of figures that arise from the floor, surrounding the player in a circle,
all facing toward the player. A smile slowly spreads across their faces as if they are laughing and
judging the player. Next, eyeballs spawn around the player, focusing their gaze upon them.
When the player looks back at an eyeball, it shifts its gaze—I always feel like I am being judged
in secret, that others look at me behind my back. Therefore, I never want to face them or look
them in the eye. But on the rare occasions when I do, most people feel uncomfortable enough
and look away.

17

Figure 12 - “Judgment” Scene
Inner Turmoil
With my fear of failure come many relentless, internal, negative, and intrusive thoughts that
ceaselessly dance inside my head. To depict these thoughts and emotions, I decided to keep the
scene simple, focusing heavily on using sound to evoke emotion and particles to represent the
many bouncing thoughts that happen in the mind. I created a soundscape that moves and changes
around the player, barraging them with dark thoughts and remarks, and I paired it with simple
particles lit by a red glow. The particles react and move to the audio, moving slower and
smoothly with quieter sounds and faster and more suddenly with intense audio.

18

Figure 13 - “Inner Turmoil” Scene
End/The Mirror
A mirror can hold a lot of meaning: it can symbolize a window to the soul, reflection,
introspection, sight and truth, and even arrogance and vanity. In this case, however, I wanted to
use the mirror as a symbol for self-reflection. When it comes to complex feelings and emotions,
it can lead to many unanswered questions, and can often feel very inconclusive, ambiguous, and
incomplete when seeking answers. Therefore, to end the experience, I implemented the use of a
mirror to give players a chance to self-reflect and think about how this experience and others
have affected them as a person.

19

Figure 14 - “End/The Mirror” Scene

20

Chapter Five: The Development Process
Defectum was developed as a solo project over the span of approximately 18 months. The first
eight months were dedicated to discovering and refining the idea; researching and collecting
prior art and references; and developing prototypes to test, experiment, and demonstrate many
mechanics and designs. The remaining 12 months were committed to developing the project,
implementing the technology, and refining the user experience.

Storyboarding
An advantageous method to developing Defectum relied heavily on storyboarding; the visual
quality of storyboarding provided an efficient way to represent abstract concepts that were easier
to understand than their textual counterparts. Storyboarding provided a quick and effective
method of mapping out each vignette while also giving a quick sense of the experience and what
players could expect. It also helped maintain the scope of the project in mind by keeping the
storyboards small and concise.

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Figure 15 - Storyboard of “Rain/Room of Doors” Scene

22

Figure 16 - Storyboard of “Inner Turmoil” Scene
Prototyping
The idea behind Defectum withstood many conceptual iterations before landing on the project
that it is today. Prototypes played an essential role through the early stages of its development:
from topic change, narrative revision, and technological modifications. Platforms such as Twine
and Unity provided quick methods to develop simple prototypes that helped with decision-
making and clarifying the overall scope of the project. Twine was an important tool in testing out
the flow of the story—its ability to be quick and efficient at structuring and organizing a
narrative was helpful, while Unity was valuable for showing usability and defining the project’s
scope.

23

Platforms
Defectum was developed using Unreal Engine 4, a powerful game engine known for its ability to
develop graphically beautiful games. Though developed for and playable as an executable PC
build, Defectum was intended to be played in virtual reality, specifically developed in tandem
with Meta’s Quest 2. The HTC Vive was a respectable consideration. However, the easy
implementation of the Quest 2, coupled with the stationary gameplay of Defectum showed the
Quest 2 to be a more suitable headset. But with future development, I would like to make the
experience more accessible and expand the project to different platforms.

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Chapter Six: Lessons Learned
As a form of self-expression, Defectum has brought about many complex and profound thoughts
throughout its development period. It was not an easy task to work on a project that explores
such a sensitive and personal topic, let alone allow peers and others to analyze and critique every
decision made. However, it has helped me to become more mindful and aware of my own
thoughts and emotions, as well as giving me more confidence in asserting my decisions.

Critique and Feedback
Receiving meaningful feedback from an outside perspective was a difficult task, especially when
the subject matter was not relatable or engaging to everyone. Therefore, I tried to focus more on
the use of qualitative questions rather than quantitative, asking my audience how they felt instead
of asking if an aspect of my experience achieved or evoked a sought emotion or feeling. For
example, many players were impacted by the “Inner Turmoil” scene and described it as a very
powerful and emotional experience. I received a lot of feedback regarding the positioning of the
audio. Originally, the audio was stationary and directional based changing according to the
player’s direction. However, many thought that moving the audio around the player would
provide a more powerful experience. In response to their feedback (and technical competency), I
changed the audio from directional-based, to 3D audio that plays at different distances. While the
feedback varied greatly, the feedback received helped inspire and influence the development
process.

25

The Importance of Playtesting
Playtesting is an important aspect of game development and one that I wish I had done more
often. It was a challenge to playtest a VR experience: there was a lack of strong technological
availability to run a high graphics build; it has low accessibility from VR; it required in-person
playtesting to achieve a full experience; and while the spread of Covid-19 has significantly
reduced, lingering concerns hindered frequent use of VR headsets. As a workaround, an
executable build that could be played on PC was exported, and gameplay footage was recorded
and sent to playtesters with an attached survey. Despite receiving useful feedback from peers,
professors, and outside playtesters, I thought there was still a considerable lack of necessary
feedback to help improve user experience. This may stem from an oversight on my end, and I did
not conduct enough playtesting.

Technical Challenges
There were many technical challenges faced when developing Defectum. I used this time as an
opportunity to teach myself Unreal 4 in addition to virtual reality (specifically using Quest 2).
My goal was to become more self-sufficient and learn how to make a game in Unreal, more
specifically: how to use blueprints, how to link VR and Unreal together, how to create a gaze
mechanic, how to utilize Unreal’s materials and create custom shaders, how to animate and
create level sequences in Unreal, etc. While there were several helpful tutorials that were found
online, Unreal lacks a lot of documentation when it comes to finding an answer to a specific
problem. Thus, there were many times when I had to “think outside the box” and find alternate
solutions to my technical problems. Furthermore, keeping track and documenting each tutorial,

26

forum, and site used was helpful when revisiting or finding a solution that could be potentially
applied to another problem.

Insights Gained
Although it was highly encouraged for us to recruit other people and work as a team, I chose to
stay on a solo project. By no means is there a “better” way when it comes to working alone or on
a team, however, I decided to go solo for several reasons: Although working solo means having
to rely on your own capabilities and working around your limits, it gave me a chance to control
and manage all elements of the project. In addition, working solo meant greater efficiency in
making decisions—while having a team can help provide better ideas or feedback, coming to a
unified decision can be difficult with multiple opinions. Finally, working solo means you can
work on your own time without relying on others to complete their part. There is no right or
wrong when deciding to work with a team or going down the solo route. If one is to choose the
solo path, understanding your own limits and capabilities is paramount to scoping down,
avoiding burnout, and producing a quality project.

27

Chapter Seven: Conclusion
Current Status and Next Steps
Defectum is a virtual reality experience designed to address selected emotions and experiences
that stem from firsthand experiences. Future plans for this experience include expanding and
exploring more feelings and emotions and developing more artistically immersive environments
to help invoke a richer experience.

Even though Defectum is still in an early stage of development, I believe Defectum to be a step in
the right direction in creating projects that help portray difficult emotions and experiences that
may be experienced by others. Developing this project has been a long and unforgettable
journey—it has pushed me to become more self-aware, mindful, and open to seeking, exploring,
and discussing difficult and sensitive topics. It has also pushed me to go beyond my limits and
the comforts of what I already know, encouraging me to learn and use new programs and
platforms.

While Defectum is, first and foremost, a personal project of self-expression, I hope this project
may bring about more awareness and connect to those who share and identify with the same
emotions and experiences, all the while encouraging others not to be afraid of using art to
express their feelings and emotions.

28

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Beat Saber. Oculus Quest version, Beat Games, 2018.

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Pallavicini, Federica, and Pepe, Alessandro. “Comparing Player Experience in Video Games
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30

Appendix – Defectum Storyboards

Figure 17 - Storyboard of “Control” Scene

31

Figure 18 - Storyboard of “Drowning” Scene

32

Figure 19 - Storyboard of “Judgment” Scene

33

Figure 20 - Storyboard of “End/Mirror” Scene

34

Figure 21 - Original Storyboard of Removed “Failing Grades” Scene

35

Figure 22 - Original Storyboard of Removed “Indecision” Scene

36

Figure 23 - Original Storyboard of Removed “Disappointment” Scene

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Chaos

Asset Metadata

Creator Pong, Cassidy (author)

Core Title Defectum: a journey toward embracing failure

School School of Cinematic Arts

Degree Master of Fine Arts

Degree Program Interactive Media

Degree Conferral Date 2023-05

Publication Date 04/12/2023

Defense Date 05/09/2023

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag Anxiety,Depression,experience,Experimental and Molecular Pathology,Fear,fear of failure,Games,interactive,OAI-PMH Harvest,phobia,virtual reality,VR

Format theses (aat)

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor Gotsis, Marientina (committee chair), Bouchard, Sean (committee member), Gray, Robyn (committee member), Naporowski, Maks (committee member)

Creator Email cassidy.pong@gmail.com,cpong@usc.edu

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