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Healthy Hmong relationship initiative project: a prevention of Hmong intimate partner violence
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Healthy Hmong relationship initiative project: a prevention of Hmong intimate partner violence
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HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 1
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT:
A Prevention of Hmong Intimate Partner Violence
Lang Fang, MA, MSW, LCSW
University of Southern California
Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work
DSW Program
Michael Rank, PhD., Professor, Chair
August 2024
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 2
Table of Contents
I. Abstract 3
II. Executive Summary 4
III. Acknowledgement 7
IV. Positionality statement 8
V. Problem of statement and Literature Review 9
VI. Conceptual/Theoretical Framework 18
VII. Methodology 19
VIII. Project Description 24
IX. Implementation Plan 32
X. Evaluation Plan 34
XI. Challenges/Limitations 35
XII. Conclusions and implementations 36
XIII. Appendix A: Information Gathering Matrix 49
XIV. Appendix B: Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide Timeline 51
XV. Appendix C: Journey Mapping 52
XVI. Appendix D: Interview questions 53
XVII. Appendix E: Design Criteria 54
XVIII. Appendix F: Logic Model 61
XIX. Appendix G: GANTT Chart 62
XX. Appendix H: Outreach and recruitment examples 63
XXI. Appendix I: Intake, Participation, Consent forms and Pre/Post Evaluations 65
XXII. Appendix J: Prototype Explanation and Detailed Curriculum 73
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 3
Abstract
This paper presents the Hmong Healthy Relationship Initiative Project, a 12-week
prevention program designed to enhance Hmong individuals' knowledge and skills in building
healthy relationships. The project adopts Hmong Feminism as a conceptual framework and then
uses Bandura's social learning theory to facilitate the learning of adaptive behaviors/skills and
the unlearning of maladaptive ones. The research has identified the significance of Hmong
Intimate Partner Violence as a key factor in Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides, and
thus, the project focuses on four prevention learning objectives: fostering self-development and
the “cultural” self-development; comprehending the impact of trauma on relationships;
navigating conflict and disagreements through mediation; and finally, promoting healthy
parenting practices. The project will additionally perform an analysis of outcomes at the
conclusion of sessions, as well as six months and one-year post-completion, to assess the impact
of the project on the participating couples.
Key words: Hmong healthy relationships; prevention; prevention program; Hmong Feminism;
social learning theory; Hmong intimate partner violence; Hmong intimate partner homicide
suicide
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 4
Executive Summary
The Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative addresses the critical issue of Hmong
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), which significantly contributes to intimate partner homicide
suicides within the Hmong community. The initiative leverages “Hmong Feminism” and
Bandura's social learning theory to examine patriarchal norms and promote healthy relationship
behaviors. This project is set within the context of cultural practices that influence IPV, such as
patriarchy/masculinity constructs, bride prices, early marriages, and the traditional clan system,
making it an urgent area for intervention.
This project directly contributes to the Social Work Grand Challenge of "Building
Healthy Relationships to End Violence." By focusing on prevention and education, it seeks to
enhance healthy relationship skills among Hmong couples through exploration of the self and
cultural identity, trauma informed relating, conflict mediation, and healthy parenting
education. This approach seeks to reduce the prevalence of IPV and its extreme consequences
such as homicide suicides, aligning with broader goals of violence prevention in social work.
Design thinking was crucial in developing this initiative, focusing on empathetic and
culturally sensitive solutions. Tools such as Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide
Timelines, stakeholder interviews, and community feedback loops were instrumental in tailoring
the intervention to meet the unique needs of the Hmong community effectively. Due to the main
designer’s background in social work and mental health, the intervention is very inclusive of
social work and community involvement in addition to best practices for mental health such as
cultural humility, social learning theory, attachment theory, and trauma informed practices.
The initiative seeks to reduce IPV and intimate partner homicide-suicides by employing
social learning theory as its foundational theory of change. The choice to utilize social learning
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 5
theory is strategic, aligning with a widely accepted belief within Hmong culture—that children
learn by observing their surroundings. This existing cultural acceptance suggests that there might
be less resistance to its application, providing a solid base for the intervention.
This intervention promotes the unlearning of maladaptive behaviors and the adoption of
healthier interaction patterns through both group workshops and individual couples’ sessions. In
these sessions, participants are encouraged to open minded, share, and deeply explore their own
thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with themselves and with their partners. Participants are
expected to meet weekly in group sessions focusing on learning new concepts and also
participate in couples sessions to further explore and process the new concepts and
behaviors. Successful implementation is measured by changed thoughts, feelings and behaviors
at the conclusion of the 12-week sessions, six months afterwards and finally 12 months
afterwards.
Additionally, the approach adheres to evidence-based practices in social work and
psychology, emphasizing the importance of fostering healthy relationships, trauma-informed
practices, and parenting interventions that are mindful of and integrated with cultural
values. The critical impact of cultural values and nuances have been left to each participant and
group to create, analyze, and explore, which may be limited to the limited knowledge of the
participants themselves. This may be something to monitor for the facilitators and lean more on
the cultural consultants to examine if needed.
By addressing specific cultural factors that contribute to IPV in the Hmong community, it
sets a precedent for culturally informed social work practices that could be adapted for other
marginalized and underserved groups. The project involves a 12-week prevention program that
includes educational workshops, community outreach, and continuous evaluation to assess
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 6
effectiveness. Future actions focus on expanding the program's reach, continuous improvement
based on participant feedback, and further integration of Hmong cultural practices in prevention
efforts. This project represents a significant step forward in tailored Hmong specific intervention
for intimate partner violence.
The Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative offers a promising approach to tackling the
deeply entrenched issue of IPV within the Hmong community through education, empowerment,
and community engagement. Its success could serve as a model for similar initiatives,
highlighting the importance of culturally competent interventions in social work.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 7
Acknowledgements
This was a labor of love. A love for my community and for many beautiful strong
Hmong women I have had the privilege of meeting throughout my life including those within my
family. It is not only through your strength and wisdom, but your perseverance despite the
obstacles you have endured.
This is also a tribute to my mother, who could out run me playing tag in the house, who
calls me by all my sibings’ names including my brothers—there are 10 of us—before she gets to
me; and who is as feisty as ever despite having sustained strokes and now must rely on a wheel
chair, but still must tell me how to cook while she rolls around in her wheel chair behind me in
the kitchen.
Lastly, I would like to leave a small love note for my son. Currently you are only 26
weeks old, but already dancing and having so much fun in utero. May you always see with open
eyes and seek a beautiful world with your heart. May you recall the men and women that came
before you, honor them with respect, and honor yourself.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 8
Positionality Statement
As a Hmong woman and social work researcher, I am passionate about topics that bring
about social change. Ultimately the center of my capstone, I wanted to better understand why
there was so many Hmong homicide suicides. My identity as a Hmong/Hmong American
individual and training as a mental health practitioner are the foundation of this capstone. The
rich cultural heritage of the Hmong community, with its deep-rooted traditions and values,
informs my perspective and drives my commitment to issues of mental health, empowerment,
equality, and non-violence. With that said, I was raised in America and thus my perspective is
also highly influenced by western paradigms and practices from my academic experience.
Being a woman within the Hmong community, I have witnessed and experienced the
unique challenges and strengths that come with this identity. My educational background has
provided me with tools to critically analyze and address these challenges, particularly those
related to Hmong women's empowerment. I am deeply committed to advocating for gender
equality and envisioning a life for all Hmong women and Hmong men that is free from violence
and oppression.
I intentionally selected my advisors to include diverse perspectives, aiming to incorporate
significant and differing viewpoints in my capstone. While I acknowledge that this diversity may
also create its own conflicting viewpoints in the final product, I purposefully incorporated a
theory of change design to be applicable across a spectrum in hopes that it would decrease the
stigma often experienced by the audience regarding this topic. I recognize that this approach
may still have overlooked other important insights. I welcome more researchers to continue to
build and use what is helpful from this capstone even if to just start conversations.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 9
Problem Statement and Literature Review
“On the planes, we leaned our heads back against the tall headrests, closed our eyes to
what we had known, and imagined futures for our children – not for ourselves, because we knew
that we were too old to start anew and filled with too much sorrow, too many regrets.” These
poignant words express the unspoken emotions of Hmong American author Kao Kalia Yang
(2016), who shares her father’s journey from the jungles of Laos to the shores of America in her
memoir “The Song Poet.” The Hmong people came to the “teeming shores” of America fleeing
persecution and genocide due to providing direct support to American military during the
Vietnam War (TPT Originals, 2019; Twin Cities Public Television, 2017).
In addition to the restrictions imposed by the Geneva Accords of 1954, the fall of Saigon
on April 30, 1975, compelled the American troops to withdraw from Southeast Asia leaving the
Hmong people vulnerable to persecution and genocide (Hmong Timeline, 2023; Pew Research
Center, 2022). According to Pew Research Center’s review of the 2017-2019’s American
Community Survey, as of 2019 there are an estimated 327,000 Hmong people living in the
United States. California is home to 96,255 Hmong people; Minnesota is home to 71,762
Hmong people; and Wisconsin houses 54,641 and the last of the larger population is North
Carolina with 11,315 people. Some of the other states that have some populations of Hmong
people are Michigan, Colorado, Alaska, Georgia, Oklahoma, and then Oregon for our top 10 US
states (Hmong Innovating Politics, 2020). Hmong people have the largest concentration in
Minneapolis-St. Paul, Fresno, Sacramento, and then Milwaukee (Pew Research Center, 2019).
Current literature of Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide especially in the national
database does not consider cultural differences, racial or ethnic background. Specific agencies
such as Asian Gender Based Violence (2022) and Violence Policy Center (2022) provided
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 10
further needed breakdown for this paper. In an online survey with convenient sampling, 65
percent of the participants strongly agreed or agreed that the Hmong culture played a large role
in domestic violence against women (Moua, 2013). The most prevailing cultural norms that hold
these homicide suicides in place include patriarchy and masculinity, the Hmong’s clan system,
the Hmong people’s practice of young marriages and bride prices.
Hmong Culture: Patriarchy and Masculinity
“In our culture, the Hmong culture, you can’t call the police on your husband because,
you know, by tradition, you’re his property,” (page 6). This statement was recorded during a
focus group for the Minnesota report on Violence Against Asian Women and Children (2016).
The notion of property and tradition denotes the practice of patriarchy in the Hmong community.
Patriarchal practices as well as constructs of masculinity have largely contributed to the
perpetuation of IPV (Moore and Stuart, 2005). Patriarchy is the practice, the behavior, and the
way individuals are socialized to subordinate women (Kyler-Yano, 2022). Pa Thor (2013)
explained in her dissertation how some Hmong cultural beliefs perpetuate the notion that if a
man commits suicide because of his wife, he is not a txiv neej yawg, a real man. Conversely, a
masculine man who muaj peev xwm (to have the ability or courage) and truly loves his wife, will
murder her if she leaves him, and then commit suicide. Such narratives and beliefs sadly
contribute to the frequency of HIPHS.
Thor (2020) further describes this as “hegemonic masculinity” examining the possession
of the woman that underlies this type of masculinity. Another researcher on Masculinity and
Asian American Men examined the impacts of intersectionality of Asian American Men’s
masculinity norms and prevalence of IPV (Kyler-Yano, 2022). Findings also included how
experiences of racism, which construct Asian males as more feminine, can increase the
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 11
likelihood of violence especially for those encultured Asian men who reject any femininity and
endorse more cultural norms of traditional gender roles (Kyler-Yano, 2022). The impact of
racism as Hmong men socialized in American may also be contributing to the risk for Hmong
intimate partner homicide suicide. Patriarchy and toxic masculinity largely contribute to how the
Hmong Clan system, the Hmong young marriages and the Hmong bride prices influences
Hmong intimate partner homicide suicides.
Hmong Culture: The Clan System
The Hmong community functions within a clan system, where a clan refers to a group of
individuals bonded by a shared surname through birth or adoption (Lee, 1994 as cited in Moua,
2001). This patrilineal clan system comprises several families that share the same surname (Lee,
1994 as cited in Moua, 2001; Quincy, 1995; Yang, 1992). In total, there are 18 Hmong clans,
each governed by a clan leader (Moua, 2001). Moua's (2001) ethnography on Hmong clan
leaders in Fresno and Merced County highlights the vital role these leaders play in decisionmaking, providing guidance and support to families within their respective clans, and offering
leadership to the broader Hmong society. This is especially observed when there are disputes
within a marriage.
Although the clan system helps to organize the Hmong social system, as the community
acculturates and becomes more Americanized, there has been a shift of values and beliefs (Moua,
2013; Thao, 2021). Conflicts between families and marriages are delegated to the clan leaders to
review and guide (Cha, 2014; Moua, 2001). Because the clan leaderships are passed down by
male blood lines, all clan leaders have been men–their “birthright” (Thao, 2021). Women are
associated with the clans through their father, and thus when they marry, they are removed from
their father’s lineage and they become a part of their husband’s clan (Lemonie, 2012; Thao,
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 12
2021). This can be further emphasized by the social practice when a married daughter visits her
own parents, she is relegated as a “guest” or “outsider” and information about the family may not
be shared with her (Thao, 2021). Accordingly, since clan leaders are all men, and they maintain
the majority of the decision making in the case of disputes in a marriage (Moua, 2001; Thao,
2021). Some researchers have found that the clan system can also contribute if not condone the
behaviors and beliefs that contribute to domestic violence, often perpetrated by men, which
increases the risk of IPHS (Cha, 2014; Thao, 2021). One possible explanation could be that the
responsibility of bringing up domestic violence to the clan leader falls on the victim (Kaiser,
2004) and divorce is rarely an option (Kaiser, 2004; Thao, 2021).
Hmong Culture: Young/Early Marriages
The relationship between young marriages and Hmong intimate partner homicide
suicides came to the forefront following the murder of Zyang Vang, 33, and suicide of her exhusband in Fresno of April 2015 was awarded a divorce by the courts due to the unlawful
marriage of herself to her ex-husband because she was only 12 years old at the time (ABC News,
2015). Not only has teenage marriages been practiced in the Hmong community for centuries,
but the Hmong people also continue to practice young marriages today despite impactful
outcomes they later experience (Downing, 1984; Hutchison & McNall, 1994; Lee, 1997; Lee et
al., 2006; McNall, Dunnigan, & Mortimer, 1994; Ngo, 2002; Swartz, Lee, & Mortimer, 2003;
Yang and Her, 2014). One explanation is the Algerian lifestyle which asks for not only large
families to help with the labor need, but the non-existence of an adolescent stage of life, which
emerged as the Hmong community acculturated and made a life in the United States (Symonds,
2004). Another explanation was the preference for virtuous brides, and thus, the younger the
bride, the more desirable she will be (Yang and Her, 2014). Additionally, these young marriages
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 13
also occurred to maintain the good reputation of both families as to help mask an unplanned
pregnancy (Yang and Her, 2014).
According to Yang and Her (2014), young men and women who grew up witnessing teen
marriages tend to view them as acceptable and a common practice. Additionally, they felt a
responsibility to marry at a specific age, as reported by Thao (1986) and Symonds (2004). The
approval of the elders from direct family and extended family also contributed to the increased
likelihood of young marriages (Thao, 1986). Another theme is the use of young marriages to
avoid/escape their current surroundings to gain more autonomy (Yang and Her, 2014). As these
marriages go on, perhaps the reality of less autonomy may be experienced along with the lost
adolescent years and opportunities that go with it. These contribute to higher rates of divorce
among these young marriages (Yang and Her, 2014). Young marriages impact mental health and
economic potential for the young individual, but also it correlates with risk for intimate partner
violence that is especially true during the separation period and access to firearms.
Hmong Culture: Bride Prices
These four themes are often closely related: patriarchy/masculinity, clan system, young
marriages, and bride prices. The meaning behind the practice of bride prices or a dowry in the
Hmong community was meant to replace the loss of someone to help with the household chores,
farming tasks, etc. (Moua, 2001). The meaning was replaced as the community Americanized
and the loss of additional hands with the family household chores were replaced with themes of
possession, the bride’s self-worth, clan’s reputation, creating not only a hierarchy of
power/influence and desirability, but unfortunately a sense of ownership over the bride (Thao,
2021; Thor, 2020; Thor, 2021). This sense of ownership perpetuated and increased to likelihood
of violence and the use of violence to correct behaviors (Thor, 2020; Thor, 2022). This shift
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 14
contributed and perpetuated the likelihood of not only intimate partner violence but increased the
risk of Hmong IPHS.
Solution Landscape
In 2016, the state of Minnesota commissioned an Asian Women’s Health Survey
completed by 425 Asian women. Forty four percent reported not knowing where to go for
information or resources regarding intimate partner violence. Of these respondents, eight percent
reported experiencing intimate partner violence in the last year and 15 percent in their lifetime
(Rainbow Research, 2016). Eighty-six respondents were Hmong or 20.2 percent of the
respondents.
Using the clan for solutions
Moua (2013) found 23 percent of her participants reported, “The best thing for a woman
who is experiencing domestic violence is to seek help from her family or the Hmong 18-clan
system” although 52 percent disagreed or strongly disagreed with the statement. Thirty percent
of Hmong American College students surveyed in 2018 still felt Hmong clans were the most
appropriate community response to domestic violence if the clan was enhanced to be more
supportive of the women’s decision to leave (Takahashi and Lee, 2018). In the same study,
female participants preferred using the clan system over seeking help in mainstream services
(Takahashi and Lee, 2018). From these studies, it is unclear if these participants surveyed had
also personal accounts of experiencing intimate partner violence or were they reporting on their
perception of the effectiveness of the clan system, which would add a more compelling data
point. Although some of the clanship can be problematic, it appears a segment of Hmong
individuals may still rely on its structure for support, thus at least according to these studies, the
Hmong clans and clan leaders may still be an effective intervention if given more domestic
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 15
violence and intimate partner violence education. It is important to note some of the cases listed
on the Hmong IPHS Timeline (Appendix B) also sought support or guidance from their clan
systems, and ultimately, it did not prevent the violence that followed; this encourages the need
for the community to look closer and more critically at the clan system as an avenue for
intervention and observe the complexities of IPV in the Hmong community especially from the
survivor’s perspective.
Community Based Organization: Macro level
Another solution besides the clan system to address the Hmong Intimate Partner Violence is
(California Hmong Advocates Network and Building Our Future (CHAN-BOF), who has
emerged to lead Hmong Gender based violence conversation. CHAN-BOF provides both
advocacy towards policy changes, engagement with community-based organizations, and has
provided some direct service through educational conferences and support groups (CHAN-BOF,
2023a). CHAN-BOF as well as this intervention face challenges in influencing the Hmong
community to recognize homicide suicides as a public health issue. This is further complicated
by the prevailing view of domestic violence as a private matter. Even clan leaders often cite this
"private and personal issue" as a barrier to seeking effective solutions, which may perpetuate a
culture of silence and normalize intimate partner violence within the Hmong community.
Preliminary Research
In the year 2022, there were three total incidents where HIPHS involved marriages where
both parties were identified as Hmong and in the year 2023 so far, two incidents have already
been reported (Appendix B). Reviewing some of the comments of the post for the last incident
that occurred July 3rd, other themes such as infidelity, dating younger women, and the thread
discussing the meaning of “homicide” in comparison to “murder” and the definition of how the
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 16
Hmong man named Tou Pao Khang, age 68, shot and killed his wife in her car and then was
found dead by a self-inflicted gunshot wound (Chapman, 2023; Hmong American Experience,
2023b). Additionally, as a way to continue to capture reports of Hmong Homicide Suicides in
the news, Google alert search was created for contents that include “Hmong Murder,” “Hmong
Suicide,” and “Hmong domestic violence” to better capture published news articles on the topic.
Additionally, a significant difference in data collection involved focusing on Hmong couples
where both partners identified as Hmong, and the reports where only one partner identified as
Hmong required separate consideration for better analysis. Additionally, Hmong news and
reports were through the websites of news stations and social media posts shared by prominent
community authors like "Hmong American Experience," who consistently create and share
relevant Hmong news reports (Hmong American Experiences, 2023a). Their contributions have
been invaluable in gathering pertinent information related to this issue.
The Homicide Suicide phenomenon is first coined in Marzuk, Tardiff, and Hirsh’s (1992)
research within the South African Police Services, where this the relationship of a homicide
followed closely by a suicide of another individual who is usually in an intimate relationship
with the first individual. Van den Heever (2021) found intimate partner violence to be the most
common subtype of homicide suicides and recognizes these acts of violence are usually
femicide-suicides defined as a male killing his intimate female partner and taking his own life
shortly afterwards. Due to limitations in reporting, research demonstrates there are some
components that overlap when studying homicides, suicides and then, homicide-suicides or at
times described as murder-suicides, but as the preliminary research revealed there are very
distinct differences in homicides to homicide-suicides and suicides to homicide-suicides.
(Violence Policy Center, 2020). Moreover, data sets that describe frequencies of homicides or
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 17
suicides do not capture homicide-suicides accurately. The Violence Policy Center (VPC)
reported in their July 2020 American Roulette seventh edition:
● Estimated 11 murder-suicides per week;
● 1,200 Americans died in murder suicides each year;
● Nine out of 10 murder suicides involve a gun; and
● Nearly two thirds of all murder suicides involve an intimate partner.
As of April 17, 2023, Gun Violence Archive reported 208 incidents of Murder Suicide in the
United States with 476 individuals killed with the use of a firearm (Gun Violence Archive,
2023).
A review of U.S. newspapers from 2000 to 2005 identified 160 domestic violence
homicide cases involving Asians. Of those cases where the ethnicity was identified (158 victims
and 122 perpetrators), 10 percent of the victims and 11 percent of the perpetrators were Hmong.
Six out of the 36 cases involving intimate partner homicide suicides involved a Hmong victim or
perpetrator (Dabby and Poore, 2010). Since this report, from 2006 until now, there has been at
least 18 news reports of Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide as captured on a draft by this
researcher (Appendix B). There were 3 occurrences in the year 2022 and already 2 occurrences
by July of 2023 (Chapman, 2023; Hmong American Experience, 2023b). Homicide-suicides
represent the most severe outcomes of Hmong intimate partner violence (Figure 2; Cummin,
2024) and serve as critical indicators of the magnitude of such violence within the community.
Consequently, understanding the frequency of homicide-suicides is essential for assessing the
elevated risk of intimate partner violence within the Hmong community.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 18
Theoretical and/or Conceptual Framework
The conceptual framework guiding this proposal can be captured as “Hmong Feminism”
borrowing from existing feminist theories, common themes that arose during researching Hmong
Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides, and interviewing experts and survivors (Participants A-E,
2023). This researcher is purposeful in emphasizing a postmodern lens of Hmong feminism in
this proposal. The Feminist theory in application to IPV emphasizes power dynamics,
patriarchy, and gender inequality as central factors contributing to IPV (Beauvoir, 1949; Butler,
1990; Crenshaw, 2013; Friedan, 1963; Spencer-Wood, 2016; Wollstone, 1792). The theory
argues that violence against women is rooted in the historically unequal power balance between
genders, with men using violence as a means to control and maintain dominance over women.
The list here are some main components that arose during the interviews but are by no means
exhaustive.
1. Challenging Hmong Traditional Gender Roles: Hmong feminism often seeks to
challenge and redefine traditional gender roles and expectations within Hmong
communities. This might involve advocating for greater gender equality in family and
community life. This can be derived by the impact of postcolonial feminism.
2. Addressing Hmong Cultural Practices: Hmong feminism may address cultural
practices such as early marriages or rituals that discriminate against women, and work
toward promoting more equitable customs within the Hmong culture.
3. Empowering Hmong Women: Empowering Hmong women through education,
economic opportunities, and leadership roles is a common goal of Hmong feminism. This
can include efforts to improve access to education and economic resources for Hmong
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 19
women. This can be derived from liberal feminism, radical feminism, and Marxist
feminism.
4. Intersectionality of a Hmong identity: Like other feminist movements, Hmong
feminism recognizes the importance of intersectionality and the unique challenges faced
by Hmong women who may also belong to other marginalized groups, such as being an
ethnic minority or immigrant borrowing from Queer feminism and third wave feminism.
Methodology
Design Thinking
Four significant approaches (mentioned in Appendix A) were employed to gather
information on the subject:
1. The Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide Timeline, which involved collecting
data from news articles and social media sources (Appendix B).
2. Conducting five interviews with stakeholders and survivors to gain deeper insights into
the challenges and potential solutions related to the subject matter (Appendix A,
Appendix D, and Participants A-E, 2023).
3. Establishing consultants and design partners to rework and gain feedback on the design
and ensure its effectiveness if applied.
4. Utilizing self-journaling throughout the research process to enhance reflection and
maintain objectivity in the context of community participatory action research (Appendix
A).
These methods will be further discussed below and their significance to this analysis.
Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide Timeline
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 20
The Timeline (Appendix B) documenting manually the frequency of Hmong involved
IPV as reported on the media assisted in defining the significance of the wicked problem and
captured how often these incidents were occurring. It also helped provide some insights on
trends such as the use of gun violence or the higher frequency of violence perpetuated on the
female body. Initially, various news stories were collected using the search engine "Google" by
specifically searching for "Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide," which somewhat limited
the search results. Initially, Google alerts were only placed on “Hmong Homicide Murder
Suicide” and no alerts were given. This research went on to expand the alert search content to
include “Hmong Murder,” “Hmong Suicide,” and “Hmong domestic violence” to better capture
published news articles on the topic. Additionally, a significant difference in data collection
involved focusing on Hmong couples where both partners identified as Hmong, and the reports
where only one partner identified as Hmong required separate consideration for better analysis.
Two primary avenues for collecting these news reports were through the websites of
news stations and social media posts shared by prominent community authors like "Hmong
American Experience," who consistently create and share relevant Hmong news reports (Hmong
American Experiences, 2023a). Their contributions have been invaluable in gathering pertinent
information related to this issue.
Stakeholder and Survivor Interviews
During this specific time period, three semi-structured interviews and two unstructured
interviews were conducted, supplemented by in-depth conversations with advocates and
community members (Participants A-E, 2023). The aim was to gather ethnographic data to gain a
deeper understanding of the landscape of the problem and potential solutions. All interviewees
self-identified as Hmong/Hmong American and were residents of the United States, with three
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 21
residing in California and two in another state. Among the interviewees, three were women aged
between 36 and 46. One shared her experiences of violence in the home she grew up in, while
another emphasized the significance of higher education in her life, even though she faced
challenges in recognizing abuse within her own relationship. The last woman bravely shared her
survival story of domestic violence and a harrowing account of a possible murder attempt which
led her to self-love and empowerment. The last two interviewees were men, one in his 30s and
the other in his 40s. The interviews averaged between 1 hour and 30 minutes to a maximum of 2
hours each, and they were recorded and transcribed to identify common themes and new insights.
Several common themes emerged from these interviews, including
Patriarchy/Masculinity, bride prices, young/early marriages, and the clan system. Notably, a
significant cluster of values contributing to the "culture of silence" was identified (Ngo and LeetOtley, 2011 and Thor 2020), which included duty, filial piety, shame, and guilt—imposed either
by the Hmong women themselves or by the cultural context. These important findings are
included in the design of the prototype itself.
Cultural Consultants and Design Partners
These cultural consultants and design partners contributed significantly to the design of
this project and assisted in providing helpful and important feedback to more effectively
implement the intervention.
Laura Vu is the Program Manager of California Hmong Advocates Network and Building
Our Future (CHAN-BO) for Peace is a nonprofit organization and collective primary mission of
CHAN-BOF is to combat gender-based violence by empowering survivors and the community to
challenge prevailing cultural norms in the Hmong and Mong underserved communities (CHANBOF, 2023a and 2023b). Vu assisted with insightful feedback regarding design theories, realistic
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 22
application of the intervention, and highlighting the continual understanding of the relationship
of power and control perspective of this intervention. This insight is included the Week Eight
section for Anger Management and Emotional regulation (Appendix I) to provide the
participants more time to build rapport and learn more coping mechanisms in order to be more
open to this concept.
Cher Teng Yang, also known as Bee Yang, has served as an academic lecturer in the
Social Work Department at Fresno State University for over 20 years. Yang's extensive
background encompasses cultural humility, community organizing, and conducting workshops
on Hmong marriage and funeral rituals and ceremonies. Acting as a cultural expert, Yang
provided insightful feedback to enhance the design and implementation of the intervention.
Yeng Xiong and Jenna Yang contributed extensive personal and family experiences
regarding cultural ceremonies, rituals, and behaviors, offering valuable feedback on Hmong
marriages in both cultural and contemporary contexts. Both Xiong and Yang's families are
deeply involved in providing cultural workshops for the public in the Sacramento area, with
Xiong continuing to share his knowledge on present-day marriage ceremonies and the challenges
faced by Hmong men during these events.
Cindy Thao, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Fresno, California,
specializing in children and youth, provided support and clarification for sections addressing
psychoeducation, communication, and parenting within multi-generational households. Thao
also shared how often times American interventions are overlooked for the application for the
Hmong community that may limit the ability of the community to use them as a tool or guide as
it applies and largely the community loses out on its benefits as well for the fear of the risk of
validity. One example she provided was the current use of “gentle parenting” and how in the
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 23
Hmong culture the idea of Shamanism and spirituality asks adults to not yell or be aggressive
with their children because they will “lose their spirit” and get sick.
Lastly, Joshua Thao, holding a master's in social work and experienced in providing
direct care for adults and the elderly, shared firsthand accounts from the perspective of Hmong
men, particularly focusing on the intervention's effectiveness for less acculturated individuals,
stigma, guilt, and the reluctance to seek help due to rigid definitions of Hmong masculinity. This
consideration heavily influenced the intervention's design, prompting the introduction of
exploratory approaches with deconstruction and reconstruction components to better address
these concerns.
Design Justice Principles
All participants and contributions of the design of this project self-identify as
Hmong/Hmong American. The design itself is situated in those who would benefit from its
implementation and individuals who caution the risks it can bring. Additionally, the use of the
interviews with the cultural consultants and survivors of IPV highlighted much needed and
missing components to prevention and early intervention models for Hmong related IPV designs.
Lastly, it is also important to emphasis, the writer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker,
with a background in social justice grass root work, women and children work, and exposure to
the challenges of IPV work and direct client care. Along with her background mentioned, it was
also imperative to journal during the process of designing, testing and interviewing for the
capstone.
The journaling was an ongoing process throughout the research to help reflect and
process such an intimate and personal topic. It provided another avenue for this researcher to
examine possible provider and family member real life experience while providing care for
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 24
someone who is experiencing intimate partner violence and was high risk for intimate partner
homicide suicide. A key insight after the self-journaling was the strong need to include selfreflection and self-care in an intervention kit for providers. It was a good indicator on how
pervasive toxic masculinity can be and how much each participant needs to continually reflect
and take time to unlearn harmful behaviors such as blaming the victim, this is ever more so when
considering the Hmong community with its long historical, psychosocial dynamics of patriarchy.
Market Analysis
Due to the continual reporting of Hmong intimate partner homicide suicides in the news
and the accessible vehicle of social media, the market for this project or product may be high in
demand. Latest Hmong IPHS incident while this paper was written was dated June 11, 2024
(Stein, 2024).
Project Description
As previously mentioned, challenges with current interventions such a clan system and
policy changes/macro level impact, this project aims to provide direct interventions to couples in
group and individual settings buttressed by social learning theory and psychoeducation from
mental health and public health fields of study.
Grand Challenge for Social Work
This paper attempts to address the “Building healthy relationships to end violence” grand
challenge of social work (Bent-Goodly et al., 2019; Friedman and Neuman Allen,
2011). Building healthy relationships can assist with addressing violence in the home setting
through addressing domestic violence, intimate partner violence, and gender-based violence to
name a few. This paper focuses on an analysis of Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide
(HIPHS) to better inform specifically the Hmong community and other stakeholders to build
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 25
healthier relationships and contribute to the ending of violence. The increased use of social
media along with news reports that sensationalize Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides,
the Hmong community and public has been overly exposed to the details of these incidents along
with notices the high frequency of incidents that impact only the Hmong community.
Design Criteria
In the first portion of the design, the researcher conducted a literature review, concluding
main themes influencing Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides while also gathering
incidents of HIPHS (Appendix B) reported by the media from 2006 until 2023 to continue to
collect the data Dabby and Poore (2010) started. Additionally, the researcher conducted
interviews of stakeholders and survivors to gain a grounded perspective on the design and along
with using cultural consultants and design partners drafted a working prototype for testing. The
following tools were used to support the design process: Information Gathering Matrix
(Appendix A), the Hmong IPHS Timeline (Appendix B), Journey Mapping (Appendix C),
Interviewing Stake holders and survivors (Appendix A and D), and then a Design Criteria was
created (Appendix E) to assist with better understanding of the user experience. The Logic
Model (Appendix F), and GANTT Chart (Appendix G) were created afterwards to assist in
bringing the abstract idea of the intervention to implementation.
Prototype Description
This proposal for the Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative project will be held every
week for a duration of 12 weeks (approximately three months). The Prototype Explanation and
Detailed Curriculum (Appendix J) can be located at the end of this paper. These sessions will
focus on the discussion and exploration of Healthy Hmong Relationships with learning
objectives which include self-development/cultural identity, trauma informed dating, mediation
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 26
of conflict/disagreements, and healthy parenting. There are essentially four main goals in this
project:
1. The development of the “Self” and “Cultural Self;”
2. Trauma informed relating;
3. Mediating conflicts and disagreements; and
4. Healthy Parenting and child development.
These project goals are further detailed in learning objectives which will also be measured with a
pre and post survey including Likert scale and qualitative inquiry questions to measure the
effectiveness of the project. Prior to the start of the project, surveys will be conducted, and from
the responses of the survey, four to five couples will be selected for face to face or virtual
interviews. These prescreening interviews will focus on the goodness of fit for the project,
stages of change of the participants, and the group sessions.
The sessions will include both group sessions lasting for two hours and couples' sessions
lasting for one hour. These couples’ sessions are intended to offer safe spaces to individuals who
may find it difficult to express themselves or communicate effectively within a group setting. If
the need for individual sessions arises, participants will be referred to a mental health therapist
who can provide to the individual's needs while still participating in this project. It would ideally
recommend the involvement of individuals who are in relationships, with a minimum of two
participants attending each session. Nevertheless, relationships involving two or more
individuals are also warmly welcomed to participate.
This proposal is grounded in the recognition of the limited accessibility of couples
therapy for many Hmong couples who may not have the financial means to cover the costs.
Additionally, it incorporates the vital integration of "Trauma-informed" perspectives (Reeves,
2015), a critical component currently missing from traditional couples therapy approaches but
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 27
increasingly supported by a growing body of literature in family systems work (Schwartz, 2012
and Schwartz, 2013). Ultimately, this proposal and its objectives aim to provide guidelines and
culturally sensitive support to couples and family systems seeking additional assistance and
resources (Rothbaum, et al., 2000).
Target Population
The target population for this proposal consists of eight to ten individuals who either
identify as Hmong or are in a relationship with someone identifying as Hmong. These
individuals should be in a serious committed relationship, considering marriage, or have been
recently married within the last year. For consent purposes, it is required that at least one partner
in the relationship is at least 18 years old. For access purposes, it would also be beneficial if
participants reside in the Sacramento area or can participate in group sessions virtually to
increase the likelihood of the participants active engagement. Additionally, it would be helpful if
the participant can understand some English as the sessions will be conducted primarily in
English with some use of the Hmong language.
After recruitment and outreach has concluded, intake forms will be completed which will
include usual information such as demographics, benefits and risks of participation, limits of
confidentiality, and overview of expectations and timeline for the participants. Understandably
the intervention is new and can be uncomfortable, it would be important to ask if participants
could at least commit to first three sessions to see if it is a good fit for the participant. Below are
objectives of each 12 session. An overview of the session objectives and the full detailed
curriculum can be found in Appendix J:
• Week One: Orientation and Building Rapport
• Week Two: Assessing Current Relationship Dynamics
• Week Three: Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy
• Week Four: Communication Skills
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 28
• Week Five: Recognizing and Addressing Trauma
• Week Six: Building Trust and Safety
• Week Seven: Conflict Resolution Skills
• Week Eight: Anger Management and Emotional Regulation
• Week Nine: Healthy Parenting and Child Development
• Week Ten: Positive Parenting and Role Modeling
• Week Eleven: Closing session
• Week Twelve: Closing individual sessions
Throughout the 12-week program, the Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative Project
applies current best practices of couples therapy alongside trauma informed relating and health
parenting while incorporating and respecting Hmong cultural values, norms, and traditions as
each couple shares it. The psychoeducation that guides these objectives including visual aids will
be located in the Prototype Explanation and Detailed Curriculum (Appendix J). The goal is to
also create a new understanding of their Hmongness and their partnership that may be unique to
their own situation. Participants are encouraged to apply the culturally sensitive concepts
learned within the context of their own Hmong relationships, fostering an environment of mutual
support, cultural awareness, and growth.
Theory of Change: Social Learning Theory
Due to existing and familiar ways the Hmong community has learned new skills and
tasks from gender roles and expectations to clan and family values, the social learning theory can
be applied to unlearning or a preventive measure to intimate partner violence and thus
decreasing the likelihood of intimate partner homicide suicides. The Healthy Hmong
Relationship Initiative Project intends to use this same theory to promote change by better
understanding the contributing factors as derived by the theory.
The social learning theory is a psychological and sociological theory that suggests
individuals learn behaviors, attitudes, and values through observation, imitation, and modeling of
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 29
the people around them, particularly those they think are significant or influential in their lives.
Bandura's (1977, 1986, 1997) Social Learning Theory also highlights the role of cognitive
processes, such as self-efficacy and outcome expectations. In the context of IPV, individuals may
be more likely to engage in abusive behavior if they believe they can get away with it or if they
expect positive outcomes from the behavior such as gaining control or power of the relationship
(Akers and Jennings, 2015; Bandura and Walters, 1977’; Johnson and Bradbury, 2015). This
theory was developed by Albert Bandura and has been widely applied to various aspects of
human behavior including the study of intimate partner violence (IPV).
The application of the social learning theory to the prevention of intimate partner
violence includes the following main components:
Modeling and Observations: According to Social Learning Theory, individuals learn by
observing the behaviors of others. In the context of IPV, this means that people may learn
violent and abusive behaviors by witnessing them in their families, communities, or
through media. The more obvious examples of this can be seen how if the parents engage
in violent behaviors in their relationship, the children may be more likely to replicate
those behaviors in their own relationships. Additionally, with the contagion effect
(Carlyle et al.; 2018; Richards, Gillespie, and Givens, 2014) where more and more
reports of Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides, considered the highest level of
intimate partner violence, are reported on Hmong TV, Hmong radio, and social media,
this may additionally been contributing to the normalization of this act of violence.
Reinforcement and Punishment: Social Learning Theory also emphasizes the role of
reinforcement and punishment in shaping behavior. If someone observes that abusive
behavior is rewarded or goes unpunished, they may be more likely to engage in such
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 30
behavior themselves. Conversely, if they see that non-violent conflict resolution is
encouraged and rewarded, they may be less likely to resort to violence in their
relationships. A large movement in the Hmong community called into this exact
normalization of violence towards Hmong women, coined by the statement often used to
help pacify a Hmong women’s report of violence. The term “ua siab ntev,” which means
“have patience” in the Hmong language, is often the response of elders, parents to young
Hmong women who reported IPV from their spouses (Lor, 2016).
Cognitive Processes: Bandura's Social Learning Theory also highlights the role of
cognitive processes, such as self-efficacy and outcome expectations. In the context of
IPV, individuals may be more likely to engage in abusive behavior if they believe they
can get away with it (low self-efficacy for non-violence) or if they expect positive
outcomes from such behavior (e.g., gaining control or power). This can be seen through
the role of patriarchy in the Hmong community and the clan system, a social system in
which oftentimes IPV disputes are presided over by a Hmong clan leader (Moua, 2013;
Takahashi and Lee, 2018).
In summary, the social learning theory provides a needed framework for understanding
how Hmong intimate partner violence and how it contributes to Hmong intimate partner
homicide suicides are sustained. The Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative aims to use this
same theory of change to create an intervention for prevention of IPV in the Hmong community.
Revised Logic Model
The Logic model for this project located at Appendix F establishing consultants, lead
facilitators, location or venue, internet access and needed technology, and recruitment of
participants zero to two months before the start of sessions and further breaks down important
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 31
tasks before and then after the sessions. Following the sessions, the logic model also includes
short term, midterm, and long-term outcomes to highlight to need to capture post evaluations of
participants to gather any data on changed behaviors.
Ethical Considerations
Ethical considerations within the intervention are directly addressed in the intake packet,
which outlines both the benefits and risks associated with participating in the project. This
approach ensures that participants can make informed decisions regarding their involvement.
One potential risk highlighted is for individuals in established committed relationships, where
exploring personal identity and growth may lead to difficulties in reconciling differences,
potentially contributing to relationship challenges or even ending. From a prevention of intimate
partner violence (IPV) perspective, while this outcome may be disappointing, it can also serve to
prevent future IPV incidents by addressing unresolved conflicts. Despite potential disapproval
from some Hmong elders (Participant A, Participant B, Participant C and Participant E), divorce
or separation might be viewed as a preferable alternative compared to the severe consequences
often associated with IPV incidents within the Hmong community.
Likelihood of Success
Big Success would be the first cohort to have at least two paired couples (potentially four
participants) and completion of the evaluations for the long-term marker (Appendix I). Even if
only sections of the intervention are attended, the education and psychoeducation can assist the
individual in changing their thoughts and possibly their behavior. The capstone relies heavily on
the knowledge, time, and ability of the facilitator thus the potential for an alternate facilitator
would also be helpful to the project’s continuation. The capstone is sustainable granted the
facilitator(s) is committed to it and understands the time they will need in order to have fidelity
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 32
of the design, which also includes self-reflection. Therefore, with necessary elements such as
consultants, facilitators, venues, the participants would greatly contribute to its project’s success.
Implementation Plan
Recruitment and Outreach
Included on the Logic Model (Appendix F) and the GANTT chart (Appendix G), during
this time period, the objective would be to identify those interested and create interest through a
small social media campaign on Facebook page where individuals can sign-up if they are
interested in the goals and objectives of the project. If opportunity presents, an interview,
podcast, and creation of a short video to introduce the purpose of the project would also increase
visibility and decrease stigma.
An example of the Facebook event can be found on Appendix H. While recruiting and
outreaching, it is important to keep a few factors in mind to maximize potential interested
parties:
• Using simple language to increase access and understanding to the general public;
• Normalizing help seeking behavior to decrease stigma; and
• Continually work on creating safe environments for participants through
protecting information and identities.
Participants
The goal is to finalize participant before the planned start date. An initial assessment of
current relationship dynamics, including participants' personal histories, their understanding of
their partners, and the impact of Hmong culture on their experiences, will already have been
conducted. Anticipated concerns to address and plan for include potential challenges with
commitment and individuals reconsidering their participation due to barriers such as stigma,
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 33
shame, and guilt. Although participation is voluntary, clearly outlining the benefits may enhance
rapport and participant engagement. Offering incentives such as gift cards may be necessary to
ensure attendance. It could also be beneficial to have a couple who has completed the project
share their experience through interviews to encourage others to join. Additionally, at this stage,
securing a suitable location for group sessions and face-to-face couples' sessions is crucial.
Establishing a telehealth link for virtual sessions and arranging necessary administrative
materials for the sessions are also key tasks to be addressed.
Lead Facilitators and consultants
An important aspect of ensuring the efficacy of this project is selecting an appropriate
facilitator. Ideally, this individual should possess both training and a personal interest in the
development and healing of others, particularly with a background in mental health, such as a
licensed or associate clinical mental health therapist comfortable with group, couples, and
individual settings. While a mental health background is not obligatory, it proves beneficial in
cases where participants may share complex or painful experiences requiring professional
assistance. Additionally, the facilitator is encouraged to engage in regular reflections between
sessions and cohorts, as the audience shifts, expecting changes in the interpretation of "Hmong
culture" over time. These reflections serve to keep the facilitator attuned and grounded in group
and couples' work, alongside undertaking self-work to help with group learning, maximize
learning opportunities, and effectively manage personal triggers as they arise during sessions.
Furthermore, the inclusion of cultural consultants is imperative to enhance and adapt intervention
components, ensuring ongoing relevance to evolving participants and the dynamic nature of
Hmong culture.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 34
Evaluation Plan
Measuring Social Change/Impact
Working with such agencies as CHAN-BO (CHAN-BO; 2018, 2023a, and 2023b) as
previous mentioned would assist in identifying and creating a pathway to social change and
impact since their agency works closely on the macro level to enact change for Hmong genderbased violence. With the findings from the pre and post evaluations, a fact sheet can be created
to easily share and increase the impact of these findings on the public. This approach with the
inclusion of social media as a communication vehicle as well as the objective of measuring
social change will increase the likelihood of impact in comparison to the other research regarding
Hmong IPV in the past, which primarily remained in academia.
Data Collection Plan
For this project, the use of the evaluations (Appendix I) will be imperative and the
encouragement of individual interviews to capture the personal stories of change would be ideal.
These pre and post surveys using the Likert scale can be tracked and offer a numerical measure
of behavioral change. These surveys will be collected and scored following the conclusion of the
sessions and participants will be asked to remain in contact with lead facilitator through updating
phone, address and email addresses to complete midterm outcomes and long-term outcomes
(Appendix F and Appendix G). Incentives may need to be provided for those who complete
these outcomes.
Communication Plan
For reporting the results and findings, again the identification and relationship of CHANBO will be helpful in identifying a pathway if not platform to assist in communicating these
findings. If the opportunity presents where findings are invited to be presented on Hmong radio
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 35
and Hmong TV, it would be important to clarify the findings to ensure the understanding of the
relationships between Hmong IPV and Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicides.
Challenges and limitations
International marriages
The two themes that was not directly addressed in the intervention were international
marriages (Aswarini, 2023) and Hmong Shamanism/Spirituality (Symonds, 2014 and Thor,
2020) as it pertains to Healthy Hmong relationships. These two themes may be something the
facilitator and cultural consultant may need to seek more research to other understand and
support these themes. By observation, there has been an increase in international marriages
where one partner is an American citizen and seeks romantic relationship with partner from Laos
or Thailand (Aswarini, 2023). The trend is older Hmong men, who may have lost their wives,
will seek younger Hmong romantic interest in these other countries (Aswarini, 2023). The allure
appears to be her ability to still cook, clean, and complete traditional gender roles and
responsibilities in addition to taking care of him in his old age. Unfortunately, constraints of
their masculinity construct, restricts any infidelity from the women’s perspective despite
mitigating circumstances such as sociopolitical economic power imbalances that pushes these
women to seek these relationships but also to self-actualize outside of these marriages (Aswarini,
2023). This theme is not well explored in the Hmong IPHS timeline (Appendix B), but it is
prevailing.
Hmong Shamanism/Spirituality
The other theme of Hmong Shamanism/Spirituality that contributes to Hmong Women
remaining in their high-risk relationships (Lemoine, 2012; Symonds, 2014; and Thor, 2020).
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 36
In the culture, the husband’s family is responsible for the burial of the wife because during the
marriage process, the women’s “spirit” is tied to the husband’s family (Thor, 2022). Nothing is
problematic until incidents of adultery and infidelity where the husband’s family do not want to
honor her or take on the responsibility. If she is not buried, she could not be reborn and wonder,
which for the Hmong people is even worst (Vang, 2015). Hmong culture believes that the
afterlife is very important too at times more important than this life, as we return to where we
were made and then to be reborn. This process is sacred. Even according to Thor (2022),
Hmong women remain her husband’s property even after death. More to the point, the husband
can be estranged from the family, commit acts of infidelity and even yes, homicide, and still the
families will bury his remains. Thus, the pressure to remain in an abusive partnership can
transcend the social aspect of patriarchy, to the very soul of the person (Vang, 2015; Thao, 2021;
Thor, 2022).
Conclusions and implications
Lessons Learned
Reviewing the prototype with stakeholders revealed a need for further clarification of
cultural meanings by the participant, the couple, and the systems such as clan and family systems
which contribute largely to how the couple makes meaning of culture will be important. In this
project, which explores this challenge of cultural definitions of the self, the relationships and
then the clan/community, it creates an internal dialogue and consideration where culture is selfdefined, inclusive and flexible. This inclusive approach aims to reduce stigma and shame,
promoting exploration and understanding. It would be imperative for each individual and then
couple, to weigh in on how much they want to be influenced by the external push and pull
factors and what they will be willing to give up in order to stabilize.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 37
Also, the importance of confidentiality and limitations of confidentiality in a group
setting will be important to emphasize and uphold throughout the intake and program to create
safety and decrease stigma with the participants. Clear expectations and boundaries will be in
the intake paperwork to ensure participants understand the seriousness of confidentiality
breeches. Both of these lessons help to address the restrictive definition of culture and the
“culture of silence” that can persist in the community (Ngo and Leet-Otley, 2011; Thor, 2020;
and Participant E, 2023).
Implication for Practice and Future Use
Much like the API Stop the Hate campaign (Stop AAPI Hate, 2023), a development of a
website to collect data around instances of Hmong homicide suicide events, may be helpful in
gathering and centralizing these reports from news stations, Facebook/social media, and personal
accounts. Perhaps even linking the website to established sites such as the Asian Gender
Violence website (Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence, 2022) to increase exposure
and platform. To start moving towards this goal, the gathering of the news reports and creating a
timeline of Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide will help also provide a chorological
account of this trend. A preliminary timeline can be seen in this paper, Appendix B.
Community Action Participatory Research
Another opportunity is to use principles of community action participatory research to
inform a possible family tool kit to addressing Hmong Intimate Partner Homicide Suicide.
Hmong IPHS data is very limited and challenging, but using the community participatory action
research could be helpful in grounding the findings in the community’s perspective and asking
the community to consider solutions (Shiu-Thornton, 2003; PreventConnect, 2018). When
reviewing the resources provided by CHANBOF on interventions, possible missing interventions
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 38
would be prevention in the way of offering accessible healthy couples and family systems
inventions to prevent the escalation of violence. In this way, the information may have a higher
level of validity. Some ideas of conducting a community participatory action research on
Hmong IPHS include:
● Preliminary informal interviews,
● Formal survey on social media,
● Town Hall meetings,
● Structured and unstructured focus groups, and
● Individual interviews of key stakeholders (Community Based Participatory Research
toolkit, 2017).
Contagion Effect and Gun Violence Policy
The opportunity to create policies and guidelines for Hmong centered media outlets to
monitor and manage contagion effects and finding avenues to participate and advocate towards
gun control policies may have some direct impact on the frequency of Hmong intimate partner
homicide suicides outsides of shifting cultural meanings. While collecting data for the Timeline
(Appendix B), the use of firearms is highly correlated to the homicide suicide incidents.
Action Plan
As mentioned previously in the recruitment and outreach section, the initial step involves
creating a Facebook page, potentially complemented by a Facebook event invite to provide a
brief overview of the project and establish a sign-in list for interested individuals. Another
crucial task, as outlined in the Logic Model (Appendix F), includes recruiting cultural
consultants and lead facilitators, confirming a venue or location, setting up the video link for
remote session access, and prescreening at least two to six couples to proceed. It's worth noting
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 39
that some couples may opt out at a later stage, necessitating the inclusion of additional
participants to ensure the desired number for data collection. Targeting a group size of eight
participants, aiming for ten participants or five couples would be advantageous.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 40
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HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 49
Appendix A
Information Gathering Matrix
Stakeholder:
who do you
want to hear
from?
Rationale: why is it
important to
capture their
voice(s)?
Format (ex: interview,
observation) with
appendices [ex: questions,
observation checklists] as
appropriate
Key Takeaways (complete for
Assignment 2)
News reports Details, frequency Archival No other researcher has completed this,
needed data
Social Media
(Facebook,
twitter,
Instagram)
Missing from news
reports
Facebook posts, specific
well-known entities who
posts (Hmong American
Experience. Etc.)
Not all the stories are printed, thus the
use of social media to help capture
those not printed; may be difficult to
verify
CHANBO Community based
agency working
towards HIPHS
Help review the findings for
accuracy and increase
validity
Able to attend their meeting,
redefinition of intimate partner
violence, exploration of gender-based
violence in relation to Hmong intimate
partner homicide suicide/murder
suicide
Fresno/Sac
DV shelter
What are they
currently seeing?
Semi Structured
Interviews—current
problem landscape
Not able to create a connection yet with
someone to help with the interview,
will continue to check with others
doing the work.
Myself Reflections Journaling This is not separate of me, very
personal, sometimes it was hard to
remain compassionate and
understanding, blaming the self or her.
And thus, this can help inform the idea
that also support systems who are
cheering on those who are in IPV need
space to recharge, refocus, and space
despite the fear that space will allow
the DV the continue. help understand
how the research impacted me, but also
how myself creates a lens to understand
what I found; how does
countertransference and participatory
observation mean, how can being a
therapist create challenges and
opportunities/insights during the
interview; help me process how my
own family members who are going
through dv and how that impacts as
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 50
well as creates challenges for me while
I am doing this work; need to include
self-care as a part of solution
Participant A Family member
impacted by DV
Semi structure interview Lived in a family with DV, making
meaning of the situation, current
situation with a loved one, what does it
mean to watch someone you love to go
through it, equalized to leaving DV like
a goal = keep trying; privilege can play
a strong role in how to navigate DV
situations; plan was to separate victim
from perp, as a small solution to the
complexity of DV, Privatization of the
problem vs. how to deal with it when
the whole family deals with it; the
acculturation level matters impacting
how we derive solution
Participant B Survivor of DV Semi structured interview Traditional households, education, the
use of education as a means for
shaming and control, financial abuse,
physical abuse, reputation, love; need
for reconstructing the interview
questions, the use of self-disclosure to
help normalize and increase
interviewee’s response
Participant C Survivor of
DV/possible
attempt
Semi structured interview Empowered, created meaning of her
experiences, abled to move on with
new family and children, theme of selflove to help alleviate themes that
contributed to DV
Participant D DV home, gender Unstructured interview Possession, infidelity, mental health,
PTSD, dissociation, karma, next life,
constructions of masculinity,
normalization and socialization,
firearms
Participant E DV home, gender Unstructured interview Entitlement, more important, location
impacting experiences, red flags
=temper issues, immediacy of safety
response, just leave, don’t talk about it,
embarrassment, changing mindsets,
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 51
Appendix B
Data collection of Hmong Homicide Suicides
URL:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xzpUZwFB2hxYt9ok6uIM7mozItVzqgVSFwcOYlouX
MA/edit?usp=sharing
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 52
gni paMyenruoJ
hcaertuo/tnemtiurceR
kobecaF ●
etisbeW ●
tsacdop/oediv ●
egaugnalelpmiS ●
tro pus gnikes ezilamroN ●
amgits esaerceD ●
ytefaSgnitaerC ●
BnalP
delornehguonetoN ●
scitcathcaertuO ●
telpmochguonetoN ●
?noitavitoM ●
yevrus ekatnI
roivahebdegnahcrofnoitavitoM ●
krow selpuocnidetseretnI ●
sretabrofTONsinoitnevretnisiht:noituaC ●
ekatnI/tset/erP
krowrepaP ●
puorgdnaevitcejbohtiwtifossend oG ●
senilediuG ●
ksirdnasnoitatcepxE ●
snoisses pohskrow/noitnevretnI
rorenepoemas/snoitseuqgnidiug*
resolc
esaercniot wolfdnanoisehocetaerc*
puorgehtnihtiwtro pardnaniyub
srebmem
.svyparehtselpuoC
yparehtlaudividni
semoctuo/noissestsoP
pohskrowtsoP
dnaegdelwonkdesaercni*
sliks wenotstpmeta
latnemercniemos*
QIlanoitomenisesaercni
sliks gninetsilevitca*
sliks noitlacs ed*
shtnom6-tsoP
ronoitacinummocyhtlaeh*
titastpmeta
fopihsrenwoerom*
sgnil efdnasnoitome
shtnom21-tsoP
tnemtimmocdesaercni*
pihsnoitalerehtsdrawot
yamnoitrapes emos*
n es n ebosla
selpuocrolaudividni*
dednetaypareht
Appendix C
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 53
Appendix D
Interview questions for stakeholders and Survivors
Family members of those impacted by Hmong Intimate partner homicide suicide
1) Tell me a little about your relationship with (the individual)?
2) How do you want her/him/they to be remembered?
3) What happened from what you understand?
4) What happened before the event?
5) What do you think from what you now know that could have helped your loved one be
with you still today?
6) What would you advise other Hmong family members who want to continue to see and
be with their loved one?
7) What do you feel are the red flags in retrospect?
8) What do you think the Hmong community and/or Hmong clan leaders need to do
differently?
Survivors of Hmong IPHS attempts
1) Tell me a little bit about who are you.
2) Could you share as much as your comfortable sharing, your survival story?
3) How much if at all, do you feel your Hmong identity impacted your experience of
violence in this relationship?
4) What do you feel were the red flags?
5) What would you like other people who may be at risk for IPHS to know
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 54
Appendix E
Design Criteria
What have you learned about the target population’s needs?
● Psychoeducation regarding self-development and relationship to others may
be helpful
● These individuals seek to connect with others but may find difficulty because
they lack self-awareness, lack awareness of others, and other people’s
feelings - they can feel helpless and at times other people’s reactions to them
feel randomized or they are “immoral” thus bad things happen to them
● Relationship repairing is difficult, does not come naturally, nor do the
population recognize it as a necessary part of building and sustaining
relationships
● Population may want to seek help, but do not know where to go, how to start,
and those around them may be observed punishing/shaming others who seek
help, decreasing the individual from seeking help themselves
● Population can experience a lot of conflict when transitioning from dating to
marriage because in the Hmong community, “you marry the whole family”
or “if you marry into a family that steals, you steal too” as the saying goes.
What needs (functional, emotional, psychological, social) does the design have
to fulfill for the target population?
The design/intervention aims at addressing emotional, psychological, social
needs which contributes to stabilizing the Hmong family system.
What is strategically important to address those needs?
Design Goal
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 55
● Exploring and creating space for the individual to increase their sense of self,
identify the “self” and the Hmong community/culture as separate but in
relations to one another
● Communication skills needed to de-escalate, learning to listen, learning to
speak about one’s own thoughts and feelings
● Learning and understanding trauma, how it plays out in relationships, in
attachments
● How to create safety for oneself and one’s partner
● Mediating conflict, anger management and emotional regulation
● Healthy parenting, child development, developmental stages
How important is your proposed offering (e.g., service, program) to the
target population’s well-being?
The target population can continue as it is, but the risk factors remain,
What does ease of use mean for the targeted population?
The intervention appears very obvious, and thus many folks will feel it is easy to
use, but to the trained eye, the intervention is challenging and needs a very astute
facilitator and cultural consultant to help guide and support the couples while in
the intervention. It has been expressed that some learning objectives may be
even more effective when expanded upon such as the recognizing trauma,
attachment, and building safety and trust.
User Perceptions
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 56
Does the solution (e.g., service, product) capture, store, and/or
transmit information about usage? How?
At this moment, no. A possible integration of posting the findings from the pre and
post evals after more cohorts can be on the horizon and using identified agencies as
platforms can also help distribute the findings.
Does the solution need to be designed for use in a specific environment
or situation? If so, list the attributes.
Yes, the design needs face to face as well as virtual options. It is best when the
attendees are committed thus specific decisions may need to be made to increase
accessibility such as location of the venue or even hosting the design near the
facilitator’s homebase, etc. It would make more sense to also host the intervention
in cities that have larger populations of Hmong people in order to maximize the
number of potential participants. This may mean St. Paul, MN; Fresno, CA; or
Sacramento, CA.
Are there bandwidth and connectivity issues you have to account for?
● If they were to have those, we would make accommodations such as
face to face or more individual sessions, but limited by the facilitator’s
availability
● It may be important to share attendance expectations to help moderate
and decrease the amount of accommodating the facilitator may do for
1 couple
○ 3 missed groups may be problematic
● 2 missed couples session may be problematic
Physical Attributes
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 57
What do your interviews and research tell you are absolutely
necessary attributes for the project?
● Must include parenting; some of these IPV and homicide suicides include
children who must leave with the aftermath of their parents’ choices OR in
some extreme cases, familicide
● The usual, anger management, conflict mediation, but also trauma,
attachment and safety must be included
● Better understanding of the why survivors do not leave and do not tell
anyone - lots of stigma, shame, and family pressure to stay
● The understanding of how violence comes into the family system or home;
how to talk about it to prevent it
Does the solution need to accommodate specific user-case scenarios? If so,
list the attributes.
● Users who are unable to participate in groups face to face; the facilitator needs
to be or have someone help with technology for integration; or have a separate
group only with virtual participants
● Ensuring participants’ safety by possibly following policies around telehealth
services such as confirming location of participants in case emergency
services need to be called
● Language considerations: monolingual Hmong couples; may prompt a need
for separate groups or more individual sessions from a facilitator who is also
able to speak Hmong fluently
Functional Attributes
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 58
● Ensuring the participants can indeed participate virtually, have high speed
internet, privacy to participate, and ability to be on video
● Highly qualified facilitator who can also spot and provide direction for
participants who may be exhibiting hurtful, painful, and inappropriate
responses while in group and individual sessions - Ex: Couples who are
currently experiencing domestic violence but did not report it during
assessment.
● Only 1 partner is committed to the intervention: Facilitator may need to pivot
and examine more closely the couples’ sessions to encourage the other
partner’s engagement level through empathy, validation, and exploration
Does the design need to address compatibility or standard issues? If so, list
the attributes.
● Language - participants in this design need to speak and understand
English
● Population: recently married or in committed relationship ready to be
married
● International marriages and challenges are not addressed in this
intervention, and may require a different design and setting
● Concerns that begin to be viewed as “gossiping” or “venting” without
steps towards changes and accountability would not be a good fit for
this design - this design does not include peer support
● Population: interested and motivated to change from both parties
Functional Attributes
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 59
What constraints does the sector and/or environment impose?
The environment is still largely patriarchy thus when feeling insecure and blamed,
some of the men may revert back to the previous behaviors, may seek more security
and safety in the very model that can harm or does harm their partner. This pattern
would be good to observe and allow the partners to reflect on for greater insight.
Are there ecosystem and regulatory concerns? If so, list the constraints.
● As mentioned, the culture is largely patriarchy thus this will continue to be a
restraint that the couple must learn to navigate through together.
● Role of the in laws: As a daughter in law, it is important to understand
what the role of the in-laws can play in the relationship in order to see
what options and decisions you are able to make in order to create a
relationship where you and your partner can be happy.
Constraints
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 60
What changes should your design/project produce? After someone engages
with the design/project, what should be different?
After someone engages in the project, the participant would at least begin thinking
differently about healthy relationships, healthy connections with their partners, and
attempt to continue to learn new behaviors to help create more healthy dynamics
within their relationship.
What do your interviews and research tell you about the desired outcomes that
a good solution would produce?
A desired outcome of this project is if a relationship goes through something
difficult, like a death in the family, job loss, loss of a breadwinner due to medical
reasons, and the couple is able to manage the waves and pull through together
seeking help if needed. This would be a good measure of if the intervention was a
good solution for healthy relationships.
Outcomes
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 61
Appendix F
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 62
Appendix G
GANTT Chart
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 63
Appendix H
Facebook event and sign-up list example
Join the Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative Project!
We are excited to invite you to participate in a transformative 12-week program aimed at
enhancing relationship skills within the Hmong community. Sessions begin in March 2025 and
are available virtually or face-to-face in Sacramento.
Main Goals:
1. Development of Personal and Cultural Identity
2. Trauma-Informed Relating
3. Conflict Mediation Skills
4. Principles of Healthy Parenting and Child Development
Eligibility Criteria:
• At least one partner identifies as Hmong/Hmong American
• In a committed relationship with intentions of marriage or recently married
• Fluent in English
• Committed to maintaining confidentiality
Participation Details:
• Weekly individual and group sessions
• Virtual participation available
Enrollment Steps:
1. Add your name and contact information to our waitlist.
2. Attend a pre-screening and meet with our facilitator.
3. Placement in the appropriate session.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 64
For more information or to join the waitlist, contact us at [Your Contact Information].
Together, let’s build stronger, healthier relationships!
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 65
Appendix I
Intake Forms: Participation, consent, pre/post evaluations
Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative Project
Consent to Participation:
I, ___________________________________ (Name of participant), voluntarily agree to
participate in the Promoting Healthy Hmong Relationship Project, including group and
individual sessions for the 12 weeks and agree to have my anonymous responses documented for
the sole purpose of gathering data in order to better understand Hmong relationship dynamics.
At any point, I can withdraw my consent. I understand that these services aim to promote wellbeing and healthier relationships.
Expectations of Participation:
● I commit to attending scheduled sessions regularly. I understand that missing two
consecutive sessions, whether group or individual, without prior communication, may
lead to discharge from the program.
● I agree to communicate any potential absences in advance to facilitate better planning and
continuity of care. Additionally, as this project is voluntary, I understand I can
discontinue my participation at any time.
● I also agree to behave respectfully and continue to keep an open mind while I participate
and learn new ideas in this project.
I understand if my conduct is considered harmful to myself or others, the facilitator will
enact their safety measures to keep everyone safe.
Benefits of Participation:
Participating in both group and individual sessions provides a supportive environment to explore
personal challenges, learn new coping strategies, and enhance interpersonal relationships within
the Hmong community. These sessions are designed to offer emotional support, increase selfawareness, and improve communication skills.
Risks of Participation:
While participation in mental health sessions is intended to be beneficial, discussing personal and
emotional issues may cause discomfort or emotional distress. Support will be provided
throughout the process, and any concerns can be discussed with the mental health provider.
Client Signature: ________________ Date: ______________
Provider Signature: _____________ Date: ________________
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 66
The Relationship Assessment Tool
This comprehensive assessment tool aims to gather detailed information about an individual's
demographics, dating history, current concerns, attachment style, responses to Gottman's Four
Horsemen, and trauma-informed perspective. The information collected will guide therapeutic
interventions and support the individual in achieving their desired outcomes in your relationship
and the project.
Demographic Information:
Name:
DOB:
Address:
Gender:
Sexual Orientation:
Ethnicity/Race:
Marital Status:
Education Level:
Occupation:
Emergency Name and contact number:
What is the current reason you are participating in this workshop?
Personal History of Dating:
1. How old were you when you first started dating?
2. How would you describe your experiences with dating in the past?
3. Have you been in any long-term relationships? If yes, please describe.
4. What were some positive aspects of your previous relationships?
5. What were some challenges or difficulties you faced in your previous relationships?
6. Have you ever sought therapy or counseling related to your relationships? If yes, please
describe.
Current Dating Concerns:
1. What are your current dating goals or desires?
2. What do you find most challenging about dating?
3. Are there any recurring patterns or issues you encounter in your dating life?
4. How do you typically handle conflict or disagreements in your relationships?
5. How do you prioritize your own needs and boundaries in relationships?
6. What are your expectations regarding communication and emotional intimacy in a
relationship?
Attachment Styles:
1. How would you describe your relationship with your primary caregivers during childhood?
2. Do you feel comfortable with emotional vulnerability in your relationships?
3. How do you typically respond to moments of emotional distress or neediness from your
partner?
4. How much do you rely on your partner for emotional support?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 67
5. Do you fear abandonment or rejection in your relationships?
6. How do you cope with separations or periods of distance from your partner?
Please take some time to take this 5 minute quiz on attachment style.
URL: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
After taking this attachment style quiz, what was identified as your style:
● Anxious/Preoccupied
● Avoidant/Dismissive
● Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant
● Secure
Gottman's Four Horsemen:
1. Criticism: How do you express dissatisfaction or disappointment in your partner?
2. Contempt: Do you ever feel superior or dismissive towards your partner? If so, how do you
express it?
3. Defensiveness: How do you typically respond when your partner raises a concern or criticism?
4. Stonewalling: How do you handle intense emotions or conflicts in a relationship? Do you tend
to withdraw or shut down?
Please take some time to answer and score Gottman’s four horsemen questionnaire attached to
this form.
Trauma-Informed Questions:
1. Have you experienced any significant traumatic events in your life? If comfortable, please
describe.
2. How have past traumas impacted your ability to trust or connect with others in relationships?
3. What coping mechanisms or strategies have you developed to deal with the aftermath of
trauma?
4. Do you find it challenging to establish boundaries or assert your needs in relationships due to
past experiences?
5. How do you manage triggers or flashbacks related to past trauma within the context of a
relationship?
6. Have you ever received therapy or support specifically focused on trauma recovery? If yes,
please describe your experience.
Desired Outcomes from this Assessment:
1. What do you hope to gain from participating in this relationship assessment?
2. Are there specific areas of your relationship skills or understanding that you would like to
improve?
3. How do you envision this assessment assisting you in your current or future relationships?
4. Are there any particular challenges or concerns you would like to address through this
assessment process?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 68
SELF-TEST (THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE)
1. At times, during an argument, I think it is best just not to respond at all.
2. During an argument I keep thinking of ways to retaliate.
3. During a hot argument I think, “It doesn’t matter what you say” and I stop listening.
4. During arguments, it is important to me to point out inaccuracies or explain my position.
5. I don’t get credit for all the positive things I do in our relationship.
6. When my partner is upset, I think “I don’t have to take this kind of treatment.”
7. When I see a glaring fault in my partner, I can’t recall my partner’s positive qualities
8. I hate it when things in our discussions stop being rational.
9. My partner can be pretty stubborn, arrogant and smug at times
10. I let things build up for a long time before I complain. I don’t complain until I feel very hurt.
11. I often feel a sense of righteous indignation when my partner is complaining.
12. I only bring up problems if I know I’m right and want my partner to accept my point of view.
13. I point out patterns and analyze my partner’s personality as part of my complaints.
14. I think that it is best to withdraw to calm down, avoid a big fight and not get my feelings
hurt.
15. I withdraw when my partner’s emotions seem out of control.
16. In a disagreement, I think it’s important to determine who is at fault.
17. In a discussion, I make general points instead of being specific about one situation or action.
18. In arguments I may be emotional, sarcastic, or call my partner names. Later, I regret this.
19. It’s hard for me to see my partner’s point of view when I don’t agree.
20. When complaining to or about my partner, I use phrases like “you always” or “you never”.
21. My partner is too touchy and gets his/her feelings hurt too easily.
22. To avoid blame, I have to explain why and how the problem arose
23. When my partner complains I feel like I just want to get away from there.
24. When my partner complains, I have to control myself to keep from saying what I really feel.
25. When my partner complains, I realize that I also have complaints that need to be heard.
26. In arguments, sometimes my response is to sigh, or roll my eyes.
SCORE: Circle any numbers you said “yes” to. Your total
Criticism: 4 10 12 13 16 17 20
Contempt: 2 7 9 18 19 21 26
Defensiveness: 2 3 4 5 11 21 22 25
Stonewalling: 1 3 6 8 14 15 23 24
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 69
Pre-Evaluation (administered at intake)
Please rate each response according to the following scale:
1 (Strongly Disagree) 2 (Disagree) 3 (Neutral) 4 (Agree) 5 (Strongly Agree)
1. I understand how Hmong cultural values influence personal beliefs about self-esteem and selfworth.
2. I am familiar with self-reflection exercises that integrate cultural expectations of love, shame,
and guilt.
3. I feel confident about my self-efficacy within my current relationships.
4. I use communication skills that respect Hmong cultural norms in my daily interactions.
5. I am currently able to resolve conflicts using culturally appropriate communication techniques.
6. My understanding of trauma and its impact on relationships helps me manage my emotional
responses.
7. I feel safe and trusted in my relationship.
8. My partner and I manage conflict effectively.
9. I manage anger effectively within the context of my cultural background.
10. I am satisfied with my current parenting style and believe it reflects both Hmong traditions
and modern principles.
11. I understand the relevance of child development theories in parenting.
12. I set healthy boundaries in my relationships that respect both my needs and those of my
partner.
13. My skills positively impact my relationship with my children.
14. My relationship is currently strong in terms of emotional intimacy and understanding.
15. I feel equipped to handle relationship challenges without additional support.
Please write in your responses for the following questions:
1. Describe a recent situation where you had to use communication skills in a challenging
scenario. What was the situation and how did you handle it?
2. How has your understanding of trauma affected your personal relationships? Provide an
example.
3. What are the main areas you believe you need development in to improve your relationship or
parenting skills?
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Post Evaluation (following the immediate conclusion of intervention)
Please rate each response according to the following scale:
1 (Strongly Disagree) 2 (Disagree) 3 (Neutral) 4 (Agree) 5 (Strongly Agree)
1. I understand how Hmong cultural values influence personal beliefs about self-esteem and selfworth.
2. The self-reflection exercises have helped me reconcile my personal experiences with cultural
expectations of love, shame, and guilt.
3. I feel more confident in my self-efficacy within my relationships than I did at the beginning of
this program.
4. I effectively use communication skills that respect Hmong cultural norms in my daily
interactions.
5. The program has improved my ability to resolve conflicts using culturally appropriate
communication techniques.
6. Understanding trauma and its impact on relationships has helped me manage my emotional
responses more effectively.
7. I feel safer and more trusted in my relationship due to the trust-building exercises we
practiced.
8. My partner and I have learned healthier ways to manage conflict as a result of this program.
9. I am better at managing anger within the context of my cultural background.
10. I have noticed positive changes in my parenting style that reflect both Hmong traditions and
modern positive parenting principles.
11. The program has significantly improved my understanding of child development and its
relevance to my parenting.
12. I am confident in setting healthy boundaries that respect both my needs and my partner's.
13. The child developmental stages has helped me positively interacted with my children.
14. My relationship with my partner has improved in terms of emotional intimacy and
understanding since starting the program.
15. I feel equipped to maintain the improvements in my relationship beyond the duration of this
program.
Please write in your responses for the following questions:
1. Reflect on a specific instance where you applied the communication skills learned in this
program in a real-life situation. What was the outcome?
2. How has your understanding of trauma influenced your relationship dynamics? Please provide
a detailed example.
3. As the program concludes, what are the key areas you feel you need further support or
development in to continue progressing in your relationship?
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Midterm Evaluation (6 months post intervention)
Please rate each response according to the following scale:
1 (Strongly Disagree) 2 (Disagree) 3 (Neutral) 4 (Agree) 5 (Strongly Agree)
1. I have maintained improved communication skills as learned in the program.
2. My understanding of trauma continues to positively affect my relationship dynamics.
3. The trust-building strategies learned have had a lasting impact on my relationship.
4. I regularly use conflict resolution techniques that are sensitive to Hmong cultural norms.
5. I have effectively managed anger in challenging situations as taught in the program.
6. The positive parenting approach I learned has been consistently applied in my family life.
7. I feel confident in my role as a positive role model for my children.
8. My relationship with my partner has shown continuous improvement in emotional support and
understanding.
9. I feel better equipped to navigate cultural challenges in my relationship using skills from the
program.
10. I feel equipped to sustain my improvements independently of further program support.
Please write in your response for the following questions:
1. Describe a recent challenge in your relationship and how you applied the skills learned from
the program to address it.
2. How have the changes you made during the program impacted your relationship or family life
over the past six months?
3. What are some areas where you feel you could use additional support or training?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 72
Long Term Evaluation (12 months post intervention)
Please rate each response according to the following scale:
1 (Strongly Disagree) 2 (Disagree) 3 (Neutral) 4 (Agree) 5 (Strongly Agree)
1. The communication skills I learned are still effectively used in my daily interactions.
2. My partner and I continue to build trust and safety in our relationship.
3. I feel that my understanding of trauma and its effects on relationships has deepened over time.
4. I have maintained the ability to manage conflicts effectively using culturally appropriate
methods.
5. The anger management techniques learned have become a regular part of how I handle stress
and conflict.
6. The positive parenting practices have enriched my family's dynamics.
7. I consistently act as a positive role model for my children, incorporating Hmong values.
8. The emotional intimacy and understanding within my relationship have continually improved
since completing the program.
9. I feel a strong sense of self-efficacy in maintaining healthy relationship dynamics.
10. The skills and knowledge gained from the program have become integrated into my everyday
life.
Please write in your response for the following questions:
1. Reflect on the overall impact of the program on your personal growth and relationship after
one year. What has been the most significant change?
2. How do you apply trauma-informed skills in your current relationship or family situations?
3. Looking forward, what further areas of personal or relationship development are you planning
to focus on?
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Appendix J
Prototype Explanation and detailed Curriculum
This detailed curriculum of the project is written as a guide for the facilitator and thus is
written as if the facilitator is speaking to the audience. Sections will have an explanation of the
background of the session for more information followed by a detailed agenda and additional
information can be located at the end of curriculum.
Preparation stage
Recruitment and outreach for participants
During this time period, the objective would be to create a small social media campaign
and use the snowball method to invite participants to the project. The expectation would be to
complete and confirm participants before the intended start date. An assessment of current
relationship dynamics will also already be administered, which can include participant’s personal
histories, current understanding of their partners, and how their Hmong culture impacts their
experiences. Some concerns to adjust and plan for may be difficulty with commitment,
individuals changing their decisions to participate, which brings up barriers such as stigma,
shame, and guilt too. Although voluntary, the benefits may need to be more explicit for rapport
and buy in from participants. Incentives such as gift cards may be needed to manage and
encourage attendance.
Location of face-to-face session both for group and individual
Also in this stage, establishing a location for the group setting as well as the face-to-face
couples’ session would be important. The telehealth link to be used for virtual sessions will also
need to be established and other administrative things such as materials needed for the sessions.
Identifying an appropriate facilitator
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 74
An important aspect of ensuring the efficacy of this project is selecting an appropriate
facilitator. Ideally, this individual should possess both training and a personal interest in the
development and healing of others, particularly with a background in mental health, such as a
licensed or associate clinical mental health therapist comfortable with group, couples, and
individual settings. While a mental health background is not obligatory, it proves beneficial in
cases where participants may share complex or painful experiences requiring professional
assistance. Additionally, the facilitator is encouraged to engage in regular reflections between
sessions and cohorts, as the audience shifts, expecting changes in the interpretation of "Hmong
culture" over time. These reflections serve to keep the facilitator attuned and grounded in group
and couples' work, alongside undertaking self-work to help with group learning, maximize
learning opportunities, and effectively manage personal triggers as they arise during sessions.
Furthermore, the inclusion of cultural consultants is imperative to enhance and adapt intervention
components, ensuring ongoing relevance to evolving participants and the dynamic nature of
Hmong culture.
Preparation to do list:
Identify and confirm lead facilitators (at least two)
Identify and confirm cultural consultants (at least one)
Confirm location
Establish virtual link for video conferencing
Social Media Campaign – FB introduction event and sign-up list
Establish projected timeline based on projected desired outcome completion
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 75
Week 1: Orientation and Building Rapport
Each session includes preparation time for the facilitator, items needed for the session
such as pens, paper, etc.; reviewing ground rules as needed after the first session. Each session
has essentially six core components: Introduction/Check in (Estimated time allotted 10-15
minutes depending on size of the group), psychoeducation/education (15-20 minutes),
activity/role play (30 minutes), discussion (30 minutes), conclusion (5-10 minutes), and
homework (2-5 minutes). Below is an example of a potential breakdown of session with time
general time blocks tasks before and after session.
Objectives:
1. Introduction to the program and facilitators.
2. Establishing group norms and building rapport with participants.
3. Encouraging participants to share their expectations and goals for the program.
Before session:
● Set up the room, if not seats so they turn towards each other, extra paper, pens, markers,
whiteboard pens, write agenda on the board
● Set up food, desk for sign in outside of door, considerations for privacy
● Prepping journals for participants; bring extra intake packets
6:00PM - 6:30PM Introductions
● Introduce the Project and purpose
● Highlight the objectives of the project
● Expectations and attendance
● Informed Consent, Confidentiality and limitations of confidentiality, benefits and risk
6:30PM - 7:00PM Check in with group, group dynamics
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 76
● Go around in circle, introduce yourself and what you hope to gain/walk away with while
participating; write down for facilitator before you leave, what is something you fear may
happen, and signing up for a slot for individual/couples outside of group time
● Establishing group norms, what are somethings that the group can do to increase your
sense of belonging and safety, normalize individual sessions
● Extra sensitivity: to individuals who do not want to be present, increasing empathy,
compassion, and seeking if participant can identify a small insight, they may want to
work on despite not wanting to be there
Things to bring:
● Snacks, water, juice, plastic cups, small plates, napkins
● White board pens
● Homework:
○ Any other paperwork that is still pending to complete
○ Encouraging Journaling thoughts and feelings
○ Confirm weekly individual session appointments with each couple
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 77
Week 2: Assessing Current Relationship Dynamics
In weeks one to three, the facilitator builds the foundation for the intervention through
gauging the participants, checking in, assessing participants current experiences and
understanding as well as providing the participants an opportunity to also separate and allow
their sense of self to separate from their Hmongness and their community/clan. In this an
attempt to increase their sense of self enough to help better identify the internal conflicts or pain
points that may exist within each participant outside of their relationship too. This will also
allow the participants to see how these entities then can overlap more depending on how each
individual would like to create those relationships.
Objectives:
1. Summarizing and compiling the pre-assessment insights to share with the group.
2. Psychoeducation and exploration: Attachment styles and how they relate to our
relationships.
a. Educate about the 4 styles, history, and how they can contribute to unmet needs
b. How do these unmet needs show up in our past relationships?
c. How does it show up in our current relationships?
d. Review attachment findings and allow for individual reflection on their own
attachment styles.
3. Using Gottman’s four horsemen to increase psychoeducation regarding couples
and dynamics.
4. Exploring each participant’s current pattern of mediating conflict and anger in
their relationships (including past relationships and current ones)
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 78
Introductions: Let’s do a small grounding activity to help you check in with how you’re doing
after a long day.
Check in with group, group dynamics – How do you all feel at this time about the ground rules?
Need to add more and remove one? – get a group consensus on this task and move on
Discussion topic: Attachment styles and Four Horsemen
● Education: Request participants to check in with their own attachment styles
○ Scoring it and then reading more about it, who was not surprised by the results? Who
was surprised? Who felt the results did not match?
○ Explore and redirect participants the attachment styles are a clue to how we may
experience attachment and then safety in our relationships but of course, it may also
not be match. The facilitators approach would be neutral, open, understanding and
giving space and empathy to the participants who may be learning hard and painful
things with these results.
● Reviewing: Request if the participants also reviewed their results from Gottman’s Four
horsemen questionnaire. Invite the participants to share any insights, but also reserve space
for the couples to talk more freely in individual session about this questionnaire as it pertains
more to arising conflict and may need a more private space.
Closing
• Thank the participants for their willingness to be open, brave, and lean into these
new things.
o “Grow and change is on the other side of discomfort.”
Homework: Only journaling about your results and session.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 79
Week 3: Self Awareness and Self Efficacy
Objectives:
1. Exploring Hmong cultural values related to self-esteem and self-worth.
2. Using guided self-reflection exercises that integrate Hmong cultural perspectives
examining shame, guilt, and love, as experienced in the participant’s life.
3. Introduction to self-efficacy within the context of Hmong relationships.
Introduction and temperature check on the group dynamic
● What are values you feel or believe are important to “Hmong people?”
○ Family, clan, loyalty
○ Sacrifice, respect, roles, responsibilities, filial piety
○ Public face, higher education, avoidance of scandal
● Objective: to get a better understanding of your audience, what they believe and value,
and also, what they understand from the “Hmong Culture”
● Introduce the main objective of this session: learning more about ourselves, our
Hmongness and how it can serve us and cause us pain
Activity: Diagram highlighting overlaps and exclusion of the “self,” “your Hmongness” and
“Hmong community/External Hmongness”
First examine to help introduce this concept is trait such as “love”
● What does “love” mean or look like in the Hmong community?
● What does “love” mean or look like to you as a Hmong person?
● What does “love” mean or look like to just you? Whether that is “Hmong” or not?
Important note for facilitator:
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 80
• no wrong answers because most of these statements are for reflective and to
increase self-awareness
• Examine how these three concepts then relate to create meaning for shame and
guilt. A brief operational definition of shame and guilt can be introduced:
● Shame is used by external/others to make you feel a certain way or do a
certain thing.
● Guilt is a feeling you make yourself feel; internalizing
Discussion: What do these have to do with a Hmong marriage? Or a marriage with a Hmong
individual?
● Can you create a world where the self can include the other two and how much gets
decided by you? And your partner?
● What holds this in place? (The individual makes the community the community holds
this in place is a perspective.)
● Can we make everyone happy? What happens when what makes us happy is in conflict
with the community?
● How do we navigate this?
● Does this challenge and threaten the community? What are the ways in which this has
happened in the past? How have I reacted to it?
● Hmong marriage values
○ No divorces, love once
○ If you have trouble, ask the paternal parents for help
○ When it cannot be resolved, reach out to the Meekong to negotiate
○ Bring it up with the wife’s clan, seek resolution
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 81
○ Wife will need to bring it up, and provide proof
○ The concept of patience and “siab deiv” or
○ The practice of using violence to control behavior - use with kids, so thus your
wife, why can’t wives use it control his behavior? Because his bx is inherently
right, he is the carrier of the bloodline, respect, the spirituality
Homework:
● Journal for at least 30 minutes on what we spoke about today, what happened, what came
up for you, what do you think about what was discussed, etc.
● If you would like to, I also encourage you to discuss with your partner
○ Discussion means, listening, and communicating our thoughts
● Check in with me during the couples session about how the discussion went.
○ Any insights gained? Any challenges observed? Barriers to communication?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 82
Week 4: Communication Skills
The week four topic regarding communication, the facilitator will provide education
regarding a commonly accepted communication style highlighting the circular nature of
speaking, listening, the message, and confirming the message. The facilitator will also
encourage discussion about personal experiences from participants to continue to shape and
ground the group in their own experiences, emphasizing ground rules of respect and
disagreements which were established early in the group formation. A topic that was not
documented on the curriculum (Appendix J), was aggressive and confrontational communication
styles within the partnership or relationship. This topic can be examined from a learned behavior
of the individual from their family or origin and the use of empathy and recognition of one’s
impact to others may be a good avenue to explore and begin resolving this behavior that can
impact the relationship.
Objectives:
1. Teaching effective communication skills, integrating Hmong communication
styles. (Draw the cycle of communication for the group)
2. Role-play exercises that incorporate Hmong cultural communication norms.
3. Encouraging participants examine culturally appropriate communication within
relationships and alternatives to increase awareness and thoughtfulness.
Introduction/check in: How did it go with the discussion between the partners?
● Were there any insights? Observations? Trends?
● Any challenges come up for the participants?
Education portion: What are some common communication styles you have observed in the
Hmong community?
● Implicit and observations; repetition but no direct questions
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 83
● Use of metaphors and stories to elicit insights and lessons
● Circular logic, telling the point, retelling the point, going back to the point
Role-play exercise:
1) Listening to someone speak
2) Check in with the speaker what you heard is correct
3) Speaker to clarify with the listener about the accuracy of the message
4) Listener and speaker to agree the message is correct or as accurate to the original
meaning as possible.
Discussion:
● Things to be mindful of when considering how communication may look like in public
Hmong settings (to increase awareness not for judgment)
○ Some contexts may prefer for disputes to be conducted behind doors
■ Possible reason why - prefers the private to remain private
○ Decision making process - what would you both like to do? What does your
family or clan like for you to do?
■ Decisions made by head of households or men only
■ Decisions made by the wife only and openly in front of others
■ New options: Men to discuss with their partners first before making the
final decision - how you can acknowledge the culture, but consider your
partner’s feelings too since it will impact her
○ Common discussion points for couples: financial decisions, buying a house or
large purchases, having children
Conclusion
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 84
● Connect and review insights, summarize main points and introduce next session to help
prepare participants
○ If you are feeling nervous about the next session, that is okay, come anyways
Homework: Journaling
● What is something you notice you do during communication with your partner that helps
make it easier for both of you?
● What is something you notice you do during communication with your partner that
creates barriers/challenges with your partner?
● What are you most excited about or concerned about talking about trauma and yourself in
the next session?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 85
Week 5: Recognizing and Addressing Trauma
In the week five portion, the facilitator is using Walker’s (2020) Trauma Recovery model
which is grounded in trauma informed practices, attachment theory, internal family systems and
parts work (Trauma Recovery: Guidebook for Therapists, Simple instructions for navigating
complex trauma). The facilitator will prepare for this session to be difficult and may even go
over the time allotted. The facilitator can encourage the participants to schedule a couples’
session and plan for at least a two-hour session to help support and resolve, if possible, anything
that came up or was triggered during the group session. This may also be a good moment to see
if the group is needing another session to help the group gain enough support to move onto the
next session which can include more time to journal as well.
Objectives:
1. Trauma 101: Understanding how historical trauma and acculturation impact
Hmong relationships, educate participants on bodily reactions to trauma: fight, flight,
freeze response. Add: Fawn response.
2. Identifying personal and partner's trauma history while considering Hmong
cultural sensitivities.
3. Exploring attachment styles of each participant to normalize and explore how
trauma can play a role in relationships and conflict.
4. Individual sessions: to focus on each couples’ trauma history and examine how
they may trigger one another.
Introduction: What does “trauma” mean? What is it?
Psychoeducation:
● Psychosocial Historical background of Hmong people
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 86
○ Vietnam War, Refugee Camps, acculturation traumas, discrimination, poverty,
violence, gangs, PTSD, etc. (If the facilitator does not already have some
knowledge of these things, it would be important to be aware of them by
researching.)
● Trauma: Fight Flight Freeze responses - What is it? What does it mean? Why is it
important?
○ What is something you also observed within your family system that was an
example of one of these trauma responses? - we have natural responses to trauma,
and we also learn them by observation usual in our family of origin/caregiver
○ These trauma responses are related to attachment styles.
○ **The way your partner attaches to you is directly related to how he/she/they
respond to trauma.**
■ What style are you? How does this help and create
conflicts/misunderstandings in your relationship?
Homework:
● Required: 2-hour session with facilitator as a couple to discuss main points in group
● Required: Journaling about attachment styles, trauma responses, and how this plays out in
your relationship
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 87
Week 6: Building Trust and Safety
Objectives:
1. Exploring trust-building exercises that align with Hmong cultural values and with
each participant to increase understanding and compassion.
2. Discussing boundaries and consent within the individual relationships.
3. Role-play exercises that incorporate Hmong cultural communication norms and
explore/introduce new ways of communication to increase trust and safety.
4. Encourage couples to use couples’ sessions to increase feelings of trust and
safety.
Introduction/Check in: How was the last session about trauma for you? Today’s session: trust
and safety
● Check in question for the group: How would trauma and then trust and safety relate to
one another?
● Answer: Trauma can make it harder for someone to trust and feel safe in a relationship or
with themselves.
● Deeper insight: Whose job is it to keep us feeling safe?
○ Safety is our own job. This can help to understand how we have control over our
responses and ultimately, can change the way we react to them even outside of
our partners.
■ Hmong culture: Role of the male counterpart being the only acceptable
active role; how do you and your partner want to navigate this?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 88
○ If you know your partner’s trigger, it would be more supportive to acknowledge
it, move away from it, and discuss it when the partner has returned to their
window of tolerance or de-escalated.
Psychoeducation: How to create trust and safety for our own self?
● Establishing boundaries - I feel statements … when you … because …
● What are some boundaries you feel exist in your relationship?
○ Examples: monogamy; informing each other where they are or if they are running
late to an event; communicating needs first to the partner than to external
individuals
Homework:
● Required: Couples’ session - to further discuss and role play trust and safety in the
relationship
● Journaling: What makes me feel safe? What makes me feel unsafe? How do I create
safety for myself?
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 89
Week 7: Conflict Resolution Skills
Objectives:
1. Explore and share conflict resolution techniques from the individual, the couple,
the family and from the clan system.
2. Addressing the role of power and control in conflicts, considering Hmong gender
dynamics.
3. Group discussions on culturally sensitive and healthy ways to manage
disagreements within Hmong relationships.
Introduction/check in: How do you create safety for yourself? - round robin check in
● Affirm the participants for their responses
● Helps you gauge the participants how the last session went and helps each other learn
about options for themselves too
● Connect the importance of safety/trust and establishing boundaries to better mediate
conflicts within the relationship
○ Have you ever had a fight and not know what you were fighting about?
■ What was the last small fight you had that you didn’t know at the time
what you were fighting for?
■ Did you figure it out later? What did you need to do to find out what you
were fighting about?
● Answer may include reflecting, thinking about it, time away from
another, space to think on it
Today’s agenda: Conflict mediation within the relationship first
Psychoeducation/Ground rules:
● Conflicts are normal;
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 90
● Besides more serious dynamics, a conflict may indicate the need for communication,
resolution, change and growth;
● Monitor the use of substances such as alcohol when fighting
● Conflict can be an opportunity for growth and change.
● Establishing and respecting rules when fighting.
○ Example: No cussing at each other; no leaving the premise when angry
Partner Activity: What are at least 3 rules you both would like to establish and the reason why?
● Work on establishing 3 rules for your own relationship
● If comfortable, sharing it with the group to help create more ideas for the group
Homework:
● Required: Couples’ session - What does conflict mediation look like in the clan or when
it includes the family outside of your relationship?
● Example: conflict with the in laws; father in laws or mother in laws
● Journaling highly encouraged
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 91
Week 8: Anger Management and Emotional Regulation
Objectives:
1. Understanding anger triggers within Hmong cultural contexts and explores
individual triggers of anger.
2. Learning common techniques for managing anger and stress while honoring
Hmong cultural traditions and encouraging alternative/unique ways individuals have also
learned.
3. Role-play scenarios that incorporate Hmong cultural nuances to practice
emotional regulation. (The POWER and CONTROL WHEEL illustration found at end
of the narrative.)
Introduction/Check in: Last week we spoke about conflict mediation within your relationship and
met during couples’ session to discuss conflict mediation with the family or clan; anyone would
be willing to share an insight they had?
Today’s topic is anger, both individually and perhaps the triggers within the culture.
Psychoeducation: Anger is one of the basic emotions we experience. So, it is normal. Anger can
indicate that something is not right; it has a role to play in helping you understand possibly what
is happening to you. Examples of when anger can be triggered:
● Violation of Expectations or Boundaries
○ Anger often arises when an individual's expectations are violated or when their
personal boundaries are crossed. This can include feeling like things are unjust,
unfair treatment, or disrespectful
● Sign of Unmet Needs
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 92
○ Anger can indicate that your needs are not being met. This could be physical
needs (like hunger or sleep), emotional needs (such as the need for respect or
love), or psychological needs (such as the need for autonomy or control).
● Response to Threats
○ Anger can be a natural response to perceived threats, whether physical,
emotional, or psychological. It prepares the body to fight back or defend itself, an
evolutionary trait for survival. (Remember the previous session about trauma
responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze.)
● Expression of Hurt or Pain
○ Anger can also mask deeper feelings of hurt, sadness, or vulnerability. It can be
easier for some individuals to express anger than to show these more vulnerable
emotions. This can be how you were raised and if you consider your gender
construct.
● Check in with group regarding examples of anger within Hmong context:
○ “I get angry when my father uses my tools and does not put them back and so I
cannot find them when I need them.” (Hmong son describing what his father did.)
■ What could the son’s anger be indicating?
■ What could possibly resolve his anger?
■ Deeper question: what could the father be thinking?
○ “I get angry when my husband promises to complete a household task, but he
does not get it done.” (Hmong wife who is sharing about her partner.)
■ What is the possible trigger for this situation?
● Ways to manage and deescalate the anger
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 93
○ Awareness and Acknowledgment: Recognizing and acknowledging feelings of
anger is the first step in managing it effectively.
○ Healthy Expression: Finding healthy ways to express anger, such as through
assertive communication, physical activity, or creative outlets.
○ Cognitive Restructuring: Reshape the way you are thinking about the triggered
situation or etc. For example: Did your friend intend to disrespect you? What if
they are also a poor communicator or also not aware of how their words impact
you?
○ Relaxation Techniques: To help the body also manage and deescalate the anger
response. Techniques can include deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness;
reframing your thinking and feeling, etc.
○ Seeking Support: Sometimes what we experience is hard and too much and we
need to ask for help. Therapy or counseling can provide strategies and support for
managing anger more effectively.
Homework: None; take some time to reflect, allow yourself time to be uncomfortable, and
journal if you would like to. Please confirm and schedule your couples’ session if you would
like to speak more together.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 94
Week 9: Healthy Parenting and Child Development
It is worth mentioning that the inclusion of parenting as a core component in this proposal is due
to the significant representation of couples with children in the data related to Hmong intimate
partner homicide-suicides. This inclusion is relevant even if the target population may not
currently have any children but may want children in the future. Once again, this underscores the
primary goal of this intervention, which is prevention rather than intervention for partners at a
high risk of experiencing homicide-suicide incidents.
Objectives:
1. Discussing the impact of relationship dynamics on Hmong children also in
consideration of acculturation.
3. Exploring Erikson’s developmental model and Hmong child developmental
norms as discussed as a group and a parent’s role nurturing it.
Introduction/Check in: Practicing 4 count deep breath work to start the session. Slowly bring
participants back to the session’s topic: healthy parenting and child development. The additional
layer of children on top of a marriage can contribute to the stress level at the home.
Psychoeducation: Exploring Erikson’s developmental stages chart (cite).
● Present a copy of the breakdown, reviewing each age group and providing an example.
Check in with the participants what are their thoughts about it. Caution: This model
along with others are for guidance, not a rule.
○ Main points to highlight:
■ Infancy stage: trust vs. mistrust
■ Toddlerhood: Autonomy vs. shame and doubt
■ Early school age: Initiative vs guilt
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 95
■ Middle childhood: Industry vs. inferiority
■ Early adolescence: Group Identity vs. Isolation
Discussion with group: Thoughts on the stages of development.
● Is this also true of your experiences in the Hmong culture? Is it a little different and how
so?
● How do generational differences also impact Hmong culture and developmental stages?
For example, what is something in your parents’ generation that has differed or been lost
in your generation in terms of developmental milestones?
○ Answer: Early marriages are not as accepted as it was before, or new generations
have more opportunities to explore themselves in their teenage years in
comparison to the past where you go from childhood to adulthood.
● Types of additional challenges to parenting that contribute to your stress:
○ Finances, unemployment
○ Housing situations, such as not enough room
○ Lack of self-care and space/time for yourself
○ Children’s school conduct/behavior
○ Discuss these and examine some solutions within the group or during individual
couples’ session
Homework: Pick 3 of the additional challenges you experience within your relationship with
your children (or if you don’t have children, if you were to plan for children), explore that
conversation with your partner modeling communication style we reviewed, conflict mediation,
and other previous tools provided. See what solutions you can share with the group next week.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 96
Week 10: Positive Parenting and Role Modeling
In the closing session both in group and individual, post evaluations for group sessions
will be provided for the participants to learn if the intervention was effective and how effective if
at all. Additionally, it is important the facilitator provides closure for the participants. This can
be done where the facilitator hands back the initial assessment and learning expectations each
participant made at the start and check in on if these expectations were met to provide each
participant a small symbolic item to indicate the ending of the project but a reminder for the
participants about everything they learned. Lastly, providing the participants with resources for
additional support if needed would be highly encouraged.
Objectives:
1. Emphasizing positive parenting practices rooted in Hmong traditions.
2. The importance of being positive role models for Hmong children.
3. Sharing stories and insights about successful Hmong parenting while respecting
cultural values.
Introduction/Check in: What is positive parenting and role modeling? And why is it important to
us?
Activity: Draw a timeline on the board that also reflects the age groups as defined by Erikson’s
developmental stages. Ask the participants to put the Initials or Name of their child, and age on
a post it notes and put it on the timeline where the age is indicated. This will give the group and
facilitator an overall picture of the age groups of the children of the parents in the room and also
allow the parents to focus on their children individually. For those parents who did not have
children, can also put a post it up on the zero age to indicate they do not have children. For the
couples who have decided not to have children, they can imagine their nieces and nephews in
this discussion. Distribute copies of Erikson’s developmental chart.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 97
Psychoeducation: Review the stages of child development and the goals of each age group for
the group. Provide examples for each and also check in with the audience on their
understanding.
• Do any of these stages or developmental goals align with what you thought? Any
were new for you and helped you better understand your child/children’s
experiences?
o Take note: 0-2 – concept of shame and guilt is already introduced this
early in a child’s development according to Erikson.
Definitions:
• Positive Parenting
o UC Davis breaks positive parenting down further with slides found here:
https://health.ucdavis.edu/media-resources/children/documents/patienteducation-A-to-Z/Parenting.pdf
o Something to be mindful of for Father-Son relationship: There is this
moment where the son is meant to take on the leadership of the family, be
mindful of this transition. It may be uncomfortable but trust you have
given him all the tools he needs to take on that role for you and the family,
that’s all you can do – accept and let go of the reins. If you do not, it can
cause a rift and distancing.
• Role modeling (and how it relates to attachment)
o Reference: https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-ofarticles/focus-parents/role-model-promise-peril/
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 98
o Children do what they see, recall our first few sessions about social
learning theory
o Children absorb and learn by watching you 24/7
o What are some things you would not want your children to learn? - share
this with your partner.
▪ What are ways to stop yourself, pause yourself, to think before you
do it?
▪ If you’re also unsure, think of someone or find someone you also
look up to, and respect. You can emulate them or even ask them
what they do.
Discussion: Role of fathers for their daughters and sons
Closing:
• Positive Parenting and being a role model are difficult.
• Put yourself also on “time out” – just like your kiddos when you need it
• Give yourself patience and grace; this is a lifelong goal
Homework:
• Seeking couples session for further discussion
• Encourage discussion with your partners
• Journaling
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 99
Week 11: Closing Group Session
Objectives:
1. Group reflection on personal growth, relationship improvements, and the cultural
relevance of concepts learned.
2. Identifying areas where Healthy Hmong Relationship Initiative Project objectives
have been successfully applied within the relationships.
3. Goal setting for maintaining healthy Hmong relationships beyond the program,
incorporating Hmong cultural values as identified by the participant.
Discussion:
• Using the objectives, ask the group either to verbalize it and write each response
on the board or paper so each and see and ground their experiences together or at
least write them down on paper and be able to keep the responses for yourself to
help document.
• Transitional item: Each participant is asked to write themselves a letter using a
few responses to each objective mention above and to open it in one year to
remind themselves how far they have come.
Closing:
• Thank the participants for their appreciation and give some time for the first post
evaluation of the project.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 100
Week 12: Closing individual sessions
Objectives:
1. Checking out with each couple identifying successful implementations of insights
and any areas of continued support needed
2. Providing resources for continued support, including Hmong-specific community
resources and referrals.
3. Scheduling post survey appointment 3 months later to also check in with each
couple/individual.
Concluding things to do:
Confirming consent for continued communication for the sole purpose evaluations
Reiterating confidentiality to ensure safety and decrease stigma
Creating and sharing additional resources for participants
Transitional items to assist participants in grounding their learning and recall their
insights
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 101
Prototype References
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Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1989). Attachments beyond infancy. American Psychologist, 44, 709-716.
The Attachment Project. (n.d.). Free Attachment Style Test. Retrieved from
https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1979). The bowlby-ainsworth attachment theory. Behavioral and Brain
Sciences, 2(4), 637-638.
Butler, L. D., Critelli, F. M., & Rinfrette, E. S. (2011). Trauma-informed care and mental
health. Directions in Psychiatry, 31(3), 197-212.
Brown, B. (2013, January 15). Shame vs. guilt. Brené Brown.
https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/
Carmichael, M. A., Neufeld, B., & Neufeld, M. (2005). Self test for the four horsemen. Retrieved
from https://www.marleneandbob.com/selftest4horsemen.pdf.
Center for Parenting Education. (2006). Being a role model - The promise and the peril.
Retrieved from https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/focusparents/role-model-promise-peril/
Cote, J.E., & Levine, C.G. (2002). Identity, Formation, Agency, and Culture: A Social
Psychological Synthesis (1st ed.). Psychology Press.
https://doi.org/10.4324/9781410612199
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The Duluth Model. (2017). Power and control. Retrieved from
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Fujishin, R. (2009). Creating communication: Exploring and expanding your fundamental.
Rowman & Littlefield, p. 8.
Green, E. J. (2008). Individuals in Conflict: An Internal Family Systems Approach. The Family
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Hooper, A., Spann, C., McCray, T., & Kimberly, C. (2017). Revisiting the Basics:
Understanding Potential Demographic Differences With John Gottman’s Four Horsemen
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Eriksonian psychosocial development: Setting the stage for late-life cognitive and
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508. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0039875
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and Marital Satisfaction: Mediating Role of Gottman's Marital Communication Model.
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Mojta, C., Falconier, M. K., & Huebner, A. J. (2013). Fostering Self-Awareness in Novice
Therapists Using Internal Family Systems Therapy. The American Journal of Family
Therapy, 42(1), 67–78. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2013.772870.
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Office of Children & Families in the Courts. (2022). Child development bench card laminated.
Retrieved from https://ocfcpacourts.us/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Child-DevelopmentBench-Card-LAMINATED.pdf
Orenstein, G. A., & Lewis, L. (2022). Eriksons stages of psychosocial development.
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nursing, 36(9), 698-709.
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Security in the United States and Japan. American Psychologist, 55, 1093-1104.
Schwartz, R. (2013). Evolution of the internal family systems model. Retrieved from
https://www.opa.org/assets/docs/Conference/C21/HANDOUTS/Nancy%20Morgan%20-
%20Evolution%20of%20the%20Internal%20Family%20Systems%20Model.pdf
Schwartz, R. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the internal
family systems model. Sounds True.
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10-21.
Therapist Aid. (2021). Four horsemen. Retrieved from
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/four-horsemen
UC Davis Health. (2024). The power of positive parenting. Retrieved from
https://health.ucdavis.edu/children/patient-education/Positive-Parenting
Walker, R. (2020). Trauma recovery: Guidebook for therapists, simple instructions for
navigating complex trauma.
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 104
Additional Resources for Curriculum
Power and Control Wheel
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 105
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 106
Healthy Communication Diagram
HEALTHY HMONG RELATIONSHIP INITIATIVE PROJECT 107
Erikson’s Developmental Chart
Abstract (if available)
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Asset Metadata
Creator
Fang, Lang Jane
(author)
Core Title
Healthy Hmong relationship initiative project: a prevention of Hmong intimate partner violence
School
Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work
Degree
Doctor of Social Work
Degree Program
Social Work
Degree Conferral Date
2024-08
Publication Date
08/07/2024
Defense Date
07/16/2024
Publisher
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University of Southern California
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Tag
Hmong Feminism,Hmong healthy relationships,Hmong intimate partner homicide suicide,Hmong intimate partner violence,OAI-PMH Harvest,Prevention,prevention program,social learning theory
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Tags
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