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La casa chica: an audio memoir

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La casa chica: an audio memoir

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Content LA CASA CHICA: AN AUDIO MEMOIR
BY
Ariana Rodriguez
A Thesis Presented to the
F ACUL TY OF THE USC ANNENBERG
SCHOOL OF COMMUNICA TION AND JOURNALISM
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
In Partial Fulfillment of the
Requirements for the Degree
MASTER OF AR TS
(SPECIALIZED JOURNALISM)
May 2023
Copyright 2023 Ariana Rodriguez
i i
Acknowledgements
Mil gracias to my mother , Maggie Zertuche, for trusting me with her story . I value her
vulnerability , grace and honesty . I will never take it for granted. I hold our journey with such
tenderness and love, and hope this thesis does it justice. Thank you to my friend and podcast
partner , Zoe “Mala” Muñoz, for not flinching when I told her I wanted to pursue a Masters, all
while growing Locatora Productions. Her unwavering support and patience are immeasurable.
Thank you to my partner , Fernando, for encouraging me to bet on myself and providing me with
the space to be a full-time creative and student during my last semester . His spirit, work ethic and
humor motivate me during the toughest times. Thank you to my friend Breana for listening to my
incessant voice memos and braindumps. Mil gracias to my primas , family and friends who
rooted for me and believed in me. T o my cohort and everyone who lent a listening ear , of fered
advice and insight without judgment, thank you.
`Thank you to Oscar Garza for ideating, editing and listening with me for 15 weeks. This
process was made possible by his guidance and brilliance. Thank you to Sandy T olan for
encouraging me to write my family’ s story and teaching me that “audio has better pictures.”
Thank you to Amara Aguilar for championing and af firming the importance of this story in our
community .
My goal has always been to hold up a mirror to the Latinx community and attempt to
dismantle machismo on the micro and macro levels. I hope this audio memoir inspires others to
tell their own stories, especially the ones that are supposed to be shameful. Set the story free. It
might set you free.
i i
T able of Contents
Acknowledgments ........................................................................................................................... ii
Abstract ........................................................................................................................................... iii
Episode 1: A Real-Life T elenovela .................................................................................................. 1
Episode 2: El Mujeriego ............................................................................................................... 1 1
Episode 3: Catedral y Capillas ...................................................................................................... 24
Bibliography – Interviews .............................................................................................................. 34
Bibliography – T ext ....................................................................................................................... 35
Bibliography – Multimedia ........................................................................................................... 46
Abstract
This audio memoir examines a phenomenon in Latinx culture known as la casa chica ,
which translates to “the small house,” referring to a married man’ s alternate life. Through audio
storytelling and interviews, I take a close look at this culturally-sanctioned and accepted way of
life. By doing so, I take a look at my own family structure. This audio project creates a
counter -narrative for la otra , or the “other woman.” She is often villainized and silenced. How
do telenovelas , religion and society contribute to this archetype? This project aims to break the
silence around oftentimes unspoken secrets and understand why the patriarchy allows men to
behave badly .
i i i
Episode 1: A Real-Life T elenovela
https://on.soundcloud.com/P6kCx
00:00:00–MUSIC: “Infiel.” Rocio Dur cal.
00:00:40–HOST : Ariana Rodriguez
This is an iconic ballad by Spanish singer , Rocio Durcal.
“Infiel” was released in the year 2000 and hit #3 on a Billboard Latin Chart. The title translates
to “unfaithful,” and it’ s probably considered a señora jam now . It’ s a classic.
00:00:59 –MUSIC: “Infiel.” Rocio Dur cal.
00:01:09 –HOST : AR
It became the theme song of the Mexican telenovela, “Mujeres Engañadas” – W omen Who Are
Deceived. The song was my awakening to the escándalo of telenovelas – Spanish language soap
operas. I was seven years old when “Mujeres Engañadas” aired. My parents were devoted
viewers – watching the story play out over 120 episodes of this melodramatic series.
I used to pretend to be asleep while they watched it, but I definitely had one eye open. And I
watched it too.
1
00:01:46 –T elenovela Clip: “Mujeres Engañadas”
Univision inicia la nueva temporada esperar con el gran estr eno de la historia que dará de que
hablar todas las noches, Mujer es Engañadas. // Univision presents the new and highly
anticipated premiere of Deceived W omen, which will give you something to talk about every
night.
00:01:59 –HOST : AR
W elcome to the first episode of La Casa Chica, a podcast about uncovering the secret lives of
Latinx families. I’m your HOST Ariana Rodriguez. In each episode you’ll hear my family’ s
story . And I’m not exaggerating here – it’ s a real life telenovela . More on that in a bit.
Novelas are an immersive experience. Each episode always ends with a clif fhanger , which has
you at the edge of your seat. Novelas are also a community experience: mami, papi, abuela , and
los perritos are all watching the novela too. Either by choice or by circumstance.
00:02:44–AUDIO MONT AGE OF T elenovela Scenes.
00:02:59 HOST : AR
There’ s a formula to novelas and they usually follow some of these tropes: Someone is poor , and
was switched at birth, but they’re actually secretly from a wealthy family . Or someone who’ s
rich falls in love with someone who’ s poor . Or maybe there’ s a love triangle.
There’ s a lot of chaos…some predictability…and some level of shock/surprise. But telenovelas
are always wrapped up in the end. The good people get their happy ending and the villains get
2
karmic retribution. I think that’ s why some people become obsessed and glued to their TVs: no
matter how wild the plot gets, the protagonist will be okay and the villains will suf fer .
In this episode of “Mujeres Engañadas,” Y olanda discovers her husband Javier has another
family . Y olanda goes to the home of her husband’ s mistress, Monica. She’ s not there so Y olanda
waits to see who will show up.
00:04:05 –Mujeres Engañadas, Episode 42.
Y a llegamos. Y a llegamos a la casa. // W e’re here. W e’re home.
00:04:09–HOST : AR
Javier arrives carrying a young boy . Javierito is the son he has with his mistress, Monica.
00:04:19 –CLIP: Mujeres Enganadas, Episode 42. 2000.
¿Qué haces aqui? // What are you doing here?
00:04:21–HOST : AR
If you’re familiar with telenovelas, you know what la casa chica means. It’ s an alternative living
arrangement that is so common in Latin American culture that it has its own name:
la casa chica translates to “the small house,” referring to a husband’ s other life. Maybe his wife
knows her husband has a second family . Maybe he’ s a serial cheater and everyone looks the
other way . Or maybe it’ s a secret that he keeps from her .
3
In “Mujeres Engañadas,” Y olanda is blindsided when she discovers her husband has another
family . They’ve been married for 17 years … she thought they were happy . She confronts the
other woman, Monica.
00:05:1 1 - 00:05:24 - CLIP: Mujeres Enganadas.
Y olanda: ¿Por qué cuando te enterraste Javier era casado no lo dejaste, Monica?
Monica: Obviamente por Javierito.
Y olanda: ¿Y qué tiene que ver el niño? ¿Por qué no lo dejaste después? T e seguiste r evolcando
con el.
//
Y : Why didn’ t you leave Javier when you found out he was married?
M: Obviously because of Javierito.
Y : What does the child have to do with it? Why didn’ t you leave him afterwards? Y ou kept
sleeping with him.
00:05:25 - 00:06:02 - HOST : Ariana Rodriguez
Monica is actually really apologetic. She says she tried to stay away from Javier , but couldn’ t.
Her feelings were too strong. They had a child together so she stayed in the relationship even
though Javier would never make her a full part of his life. Monica says she and Y olanda are both
victims to his love.
I know this story all too well. My father has a casa chica . But my mother is not the wife who
was cheated on. My mother and I are my father ’ s casa chica .
4
00:06:04–Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:06:26–HOST : AR
W e see this trope play out on novelas all the time. Is it art imitating life? Or is life imitating art?
An estimated 20 to 30 percent of single American women have been involved with a married
man in their lifetime.
1
During the 1980s, infidelity rates dramatically increased, with reportedly
54% of women and 72% of men engaging in extramarital behaviors at some time in their
marriage.
2
It’ s no surprise that telenovelas often incorporate infidelity and extramarital af fairs into the
storyline. Many people can relate. A dichotomy is created between the wife and the “other”
woman. The wife is good. La otra is bad. Little is said about the man, who links these two
women or sometimes two families together .
00: 07:28-CLIP: Mujer es Engañadas -
Monica: T u nunca me amaste lo suficiente como para dejar a tu esposa. Y no cr eas que
separarme de ti no me duela Javier . //
M: Y ou never loved me enough to leave your wife. And don’ t think that leaving you doesn’ t hurt
me, Javier .
2
I B I D .
1
1 . D e p a M A . T h e P h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l I n v e s t i g a t i o n o f “ T h e O t h e r W o m a n ” i n a n E x t r a m a r i t a l
A f f a i r . P r o Q u e s t D i s s e r t a t i o n s P u b l i s h i n g ; 2 0 1 9 .
5
00:07:37–HOST : AR
T elenovelas can reinforce these tropes about families, relationships and women.
I’m a fan of counter narratives and I’m an even bigger fan of supposed bad women — malas
mujer es.
Many years later , I don’ t know what to make of my parents watching their own story play out on
“Mujeres Engañadas.” They watched the novela in their bedroom after dinner .
Remember I would pretend to be asleep because I was also hooked.
Did they ever feel awkward?
Did the scenes ever feel oddly familiar?
I don’ t know . But what I do know is this:
I can’ t think of my mom as a bad woman.
She’ s someone who remembers every important date.
She will send me a text that says, “Hey , it’ s your Tía Juanita’ s birthday . Please call her .”
She uses mi amor and mija interchangeably and always says “I love you” before hanging up the
phone. She is someone who loves deeply .
When I think of a story that I want to tell: it’ s this one.
My mom was the other woman, but I didn’ t know . And once I really understood what that
meant, I knew I wasn’ t supposed to tell anyone. It became an unspoken secret. This all seemed
normal and natural to me, until one day it wasn’ t.
6
00:09:1 1 –INTER VIEW : Maggie Zertuche
W e would laugh, he would make me laugh. I would make him laugh.
00:09:16–HOST : AR
This is my mom, Maggie
00:09-19–INTER VIEW : MZ
W e would talk on the phone for a long time. So we just enjoyed each other's company
00:09:26 –HOST : AR
When they first met in the late 1980s, my mom was a divorced single mother of two boys. And,
she worked a full time job as a cashier . So she wasn’ t looking for a relationship. I asked her
when she decided to start dating.
00:09:43 –INTER VIEW : MZ
It's not that I started, it's just you meet someone and you're attracted to that person and then you
go out.
00:09:52–HOST : AR
Their first date took place at the hospital where my dad worked. It was all very innocent.
7
00:09:58--INTER VIEW : MZ
W e were at the cafeteria. He was drinking cof fee. I had a coke or Diet Coke or something like
that. And we just talked.
00:10:10: 00:10:31 - HOST : AR
Y ou know that feeling when you start seeing someone new? And you’re anticipating their phone
call or their text? Can you imagine what that must have felt like in the 1980s when you only had
a landline? And caller ID didn’ t exist.
Each time the phone rang you hoped and you wished it was your new crush calling.
00:10:17– AMBI: Phone Ringing
00:10:32–INTER VIEW : MZ
W e would talk on the phone, a landline.
Just, how was your day? What did you do today? And same with him.
Y ou know , how busy he was. He was tired and he was up most of the night. So just that type of
conversation about his work.
00:10:54–HOST : Ariana Rodriguez
After months of dating, the truth came out. I asked her about that moment:
8
00:1 1:00–INTER VIEW : MZ
AR: When did you find out that he was married?
MZ: Not too long after that.
AR: What did he tell you?
MZ: The same story they tell everyone, that they're having problems, that he's not happy .
AR: What did you think?
MZ: I believed him.
AR: What did you tell him after he told you he was married?
MZ: I told him, you know , not to call me. But it was like, kind of too late by then, to be away
from him. So he would go to, where I was, my job and try to talk to me. And then I gave in.
AR: What do you mean it was too late? W ere your feelings strong?
MZ: Right, by that time I was already in love with him. I should have been smarter .
00:12:04–Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:012:32–HOST : AR
This has been going on for more than 30 years. My mom would be your classic telenovela
villain, who deserves whatever tragic ending is written for her . But real life is more nuanced and
complicated. I am an accidental bystander and witness to the wreckage, which means my parents'
story bleeds into mine. I am a vehicle for this story .
00:12:53– “Infiel.” Rocio Durcal.
9
00:13:09–HOST : AR
Latinos have culturally-sanctioned secrets. And by secrets, I mean – they’re often known to
many , but left unspoken by all. This story is about revealing those secrets as a means for healing,
understanding and to finally give a voice to the residents of la casa chica .
In future episodes, we’ll explore how telenovelas reflect real life.
W e’ll hear from my family – including my father .
00:13:43 –Interview: G.R. (My father .)
¿Por qué tengo que contar yo mi vida a todo el mundo?
00:13:46 –HOST : AR
He wants to know why he has to tell his whole story to the world.
00:13:52 –Original Score. Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:14:01--HOST : AR
This is a podcast by Locatora Productions.
I’m your creator , HOST , and executive producer , Ariana Rodriguez.
Thank you to my mom for her vulnerability and openness for this interview .
Bienvenidos a La Casa Chica.
1 0
Episode 2: El Mujeriego
https://on.soundcloud.com/BeBFk
00:00:00 –MUSIC: “Mujeriego.” José José.
00:00:32–HOST : Ariana Rodriguez
It’ s 1973 and my dad arrives in Boyle Heights, a heavily Latino neighborhood just east of
Downtown Los Angeles. He rents a room near Mariachi Plaza. He’ s one of dozens sharing a
house on Pennsylvania A venue.
My dad is from Callaó, a port city in Perú. Chalacos , people from that region, are known to be
amazing salser os , salsa dancers, and my dad is an incredible one.
00:00:49 MUSIC: “Chim Pum Callao.” Zaperoko La Resistencia Salsera del Callao.
00:01:10–HOST : AR
Some time after arriving in Los Angeles, he applied to a university in México.
He shares this story about being in Guadalajara and being followed by a group of young women.
He overheard them saying things like, “ ¿ Será?” and “ ¿ Es el?” They finally approached him
and asked if he was the popular Mexican singer , José José. He played along. He said yes. He
even took a photo with him.
At the height of José José’ s career , everyone said my papi looked like him.
1 1
00:01:44–MUSIC: “Mujeriego.” José José.
00:01:58–HOST : AR
The title of that song is “Mujeriego,” which means womanizer .
The key line to that song translates to
I don’ t car e if they call me a womanizer . I love them. I want them .
I think a lot of dads, abuelos, tíos probably felt or still feel this way . Maybe they never wanted to
be mujeriegos , but cultural norms and religious views only allowed for one type of relationship:
hetero, “monogamous,” and eternal. Or maybe they’re self-proclaimed mujeriegos .
Hey – the patriarchy lets men get away with a lot. My dad included.
00:02:42–Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:02:51–HOST : AR
W elcome to the second episode of La Casa Chica, a podcast about uncovering the secret lives of
Latinx families. I’m your HOST Ariana Rodriguez. In each episode you’ll hear my family’ s
story . And I’m not exaggerating here – it’ s a real life telenovela.
My mom and dad have an alternative living arrangement that is so common in Latin American
culture that it has its own name: la casa chica , which translates to “the small house,” referring to
a married man’ s other life. My dad has been married to another woman for over 40 years. My
mom and I are my dad’ s casa chica .
1 2
But he has reversed the usual script because he’ s actually lived with my mom and I for the past
25 years. I still have a lot of questions about my parents’ relationship and what it means to be a
resident of la casa chica .
Before I dive into that, I want to tell you more about my dad. But by the way , my dad will remain
unnamed throughout this series and I’m not divulging too many details about him.
My dad is a storyteller…
00:04:14–INTER VIEW : G.R. (My father .)
Esa vez que te ha contado que un muchacho estaba asaltando a un señor . Dame la plata! Pum!
// That time that I told you that a young guy was assaulting a man. Give me your money! Boom!
00:04:23–HOST :AR
He can talk to you for hours, but it’ s usually a topic or story he chooses. He talks a lot. But also
shares so little. I still don’ t really know him.
There are a few things I know to be true:
He’ll tell you that he comes from nothing.
That his childhood was tough.
His own father was cold towards him, “era frío” he says, but really af fectionate with my dad’ s
sisters.
His father would disappear , leaving his mom and his 7 siblings for days.
When my father was 8 years old, his father brought 4 children from his first marriage to my
grandmother ’ s house because their mother had died.
1 3
This was the first time my grandmother learned of their existence.
He’ll also tell you:
He used to carry a thick, silver chain in his back pocket for protection, and that he got into
countless physical fights as a young man in Peru.
He’ll tell you that he’ s a religious man. He’ s devoted to the Catholic Church. And he believes in
miracles.
00:05:40–INTER VIEW : G.R.
Y o estuve cer ca de la muerte varias veces, sobr e todo de niño. T uve un episodio que yo consider o
como si fuera un milagr o…
V OICE OVER TRANSLA TION: Rafa Sigler
I was close to dying several times, mainly when I was a child. I had an experience that I believe
was a miracle. When I was 16, I didn’ t know how to swim, but I was in the ocean anyway . I
started drowning and I screamed. I swear to God, I stood on the water . And I got out. Since then,
I always felt that God saved my life for a reason.
00:06:09–HOST : AR
There are a few stories my dad tells really well and this is one of them. He saves these anecdotes
for the sobr emesa — the after -dinner chat — or when meeting someone new . He really is a great
storyteller . In another life, my dad would probably have been a writer . But he also likes to be in
control. He omits. He keeps things private or withholds details he doesn’ t think you should
know . When I ask if I can interview him about our family story , I’ll be honest – he probably
1 4
thought it was going to be about his immigration story . Instead, I ask him if he knows what a
casa chica is, if he knows what it means:
00:07:03–INTER VIEW : G.R.
GR: Una familia.
AR: Una familia aparte. Una familia fuera de un matrimonio. ¿V er dad?
GR: Una casa. Eso se llama casa chica? Ok. No sabía eso. //
GR: A family .
AR: A separate family . A family outside of a marriage. Right?
GR: A house. That’ s what a casa chica means? Ok. I didn’ t know .
00:07:14–HOST : AR
He claimed to not know what a casa chica is. And that was just one of the uncomfortable
questions I needed to ask him.
T wo decades of avoided conflict created a distance between me and Papi. But now , after six
years of therapy and this story that’ s bursting out of me, I decide to finally have this
conversation.
There are two versions of me working on this podcast: there’ s the journalist who wants to craft a
complicated but beautiful story . There’ s also the daughter who wants answers and clarity .
I carry both of these truths throughout this interview .
00:07:57–AMBI: Residential Neighborhoods
1 5
00:08:07–HOST : AR
I conducted this interview in my home of fice – a spare bedroom that is now my personal work
space. I painted the room lavender , a calming but inspiring color . Framed words of af firmation
hang on the wall, next to my professional accolades.
The space is mine. I’m comfortable in it.
I set up my recorder and microphone on a small table.
My palms are sweaty , my throat is dry .
So I eased into it by asking my dad what he liked about my mom.
00:08:46–INTER VIEW : GR
Una cosa que me atrajo desde un principio. Su sonrisa fue lo que tenía, una sonrisa
incr eíblemente que se veía. No sé como explicarlo…
V OICEOVER TRANSLA TION:RS
Something that attracted me from the beginning was her smile. Her smile was incredible. I can’ t
explain it. Her way of looking and her smiling captivated me. It was a thing. Her facial
expressions, everything. That was something I loved. I was fascinated. It made her more
attractive when she smiled, her eyes shined and everything.
00:09:19–HOST : AR
The timeline is kind of murky . After about 5 years of being together , they start a family . They
have me. And this changes everything. I don’ t have many early-childhood memories of him. It’ s
1 6
kind of foggy , but I know he’ s sort of present. When I’m four years old, my mom gives him an
ultimatum.
00:09:45–INTER VIEW : Maggie Zertuche
MZ: I said, you know , you either do it now , or you just get out of our lives this minute. And that's
when he moved out and came with us.
AR: How did he react to the ultimatum?
MZ: He was scared. W orried, scared. Because I've never showed that side of me, you know . I
was determined. I was really determined. Because it's like, enough is enough.
00:10:26–HOST : AR
He was married when he met my mom. He was married when they had me. And he’ s still
married now . But he’ s lived with us for 25 years. So why didn’ t he just get a divorce?
My dad has given various answers over the years. He had children from his marriage and didn’ t
want a divorce to af fect their grades. My mom was understanding of that. After his children
graduated college, he said a divorce would be too expensive. Division of assets would be costly .
My mom eventually accepted this answer too. And now , he’ s leaning on religion.
00:1 1:1 1–INTER VIEW : GR
GR: Estoy casado por la iglesia.
AR: Técnicamente, lo están. per o tienes otra mujer .
GR: Mira. Para que la Iglesia Católica te r ompa el matrimonio tiene que poner una razón.
1 7
AR: T iene que ser anulado,
GR: ¿Qué motivo tengo yo para anular? ¿Nada?
//
GR: I’m married through the church.
AR: T echnically , you are but you have another woman.
GR: Look. For the Catholic Church to dissolve a marriage, you have to give a reason.
AR: It has to be annuled.
GR: What reason do I have to annul? I don’ t.
00:1 1:31–HOST : AR
He says the only way to dissolve his marriage is to get an annulment, but he’ s had no real reason
to get one. So why did he never get a divorce? He says it's against the church.
00:1 1:49–INTER VIEW : GR
Y o sigo casado por la iglesia y lamentablemente puedo decir así. No sé, tal vez estoy
equivocado...
V OICEOVER TRANSLA TION: R.S.
I’m still married through the church. Maybe I’m sorry to say . I don’ t know , maybe I’m in the
wrong. Why did God have me get married? He showed me all the paths. Maybe I shouldn’ t have
gotten married, but I did. I think that when God tells you to get married through the church,
what’ s tied here stays here. It’ s tied in heaven and no one can untie it. If I believe in God, I have
to believe in that.
1 8
00:12:24– HOST : AR
I tell him that I’m confused. If he’ s so religious y tan cr eyente en Dios , why did he hurt all the
women in his life? His wife. His other children. My mom. Me. Why was it worse to get a
divorce?
00:12:46–INTER VIEW : GR
Bueno, ha sido. Ha sido una decisión mía. T al vez equivocada…
V OICEOVER TRANSLA TION: RS
W ell, it was my decision. Maybe the wrong one, but it was my decision and I’ve decided to
continue exactly how I am. Like I said, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’ s a wrong or bad decision.
I’ve continued and continue to be how I am. And that’ s it. Do I want to change? No.
00:13:10–HOST : AR
And my mother has put up with it too. She’ s had agency . Throughout the course of their
relationship, she’ s given countless ultimatums. That never led to any real change.
I ask my dad if he’ s tired of living a double life.
00:13:30–INTER VIEW : GR
GR: No tengo doble vida. En r ealidad, no tengo.
AR: Per o tu estas diciendo que unos saben y otr os no.
GR: Muy poquitos, poquitito saben.
//
GR: I don’ t have a double life.
1 9
AR: But you’re saying some know and some don’ t.
GR: Just a few , very few know .
00:13:37–HOST : AR
He says that 70% of people know he lives with my mom and me. He also says “muy poquitos,”
just a few…not sure what to make of that.
And this is when he almost starts to convince me that his choices are okay . Because he’ s right—
he does spend the majority of his life here. He’ s here every night. In our home.
But the division of my dad’ s double life is so strategic that I didn't even realize it until I was in
my mid-20s. I asked myself,
Why doesn’ t my dad get any mail here?
Why won’ t he give me his work address?
A few years ago, he asked me to renew his car registration online. As he handed me the
paperwork, he hesitated. W e both felt the tension.
It dawned on me that I was about to see an address I had never seen before.
His wife and other children know about his casa chica .
I sometimes have nightmares about his other family turning us away at his funeral.
I imagine a scenario where even after he’ s gone, my dad escapes accountability .
This is way more fucked up than I even realized.
00:15:14–Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
2 0
00:15:27–HOST : AR
Throughout our interview I try to push back on his beliefs, his religion. His marriage. I confront
him with the fact that he’ s still married to someone other than my mother . And he finally snaps.
00:15:44–INTER VIEW : GR
Mira hija. Stop it.
V OICEOVER TRANSLA TION: RS
Look, stop it. If you’re going to interview me, ask me questions. I’ve told you more than what I
imagined telling you. I don’ t want to talk anymore. The only thing I can tell you is that I’m here.
I didn’ t leave years ago because of you. I didn’ t want the story to repeat itself.
00:16:10–HOST : AR
I warned you that my family’ s story is a telenovela .
And in every telenovela , there is a villain.
But who is the villain here?
My mom, because she fell in love with a married man?
My dad, because he justifies his casa chica by hiding behind religion?
Also in telenovelas , the villains are just evil.
They’re never given a backstory .
But here I know everyone’ s backstory .
And maybe I’m a villain too, because I decided to air our dirty laundry .
But what does it mean to be a villain?
2 1
T o put yourself first?
T o set boundaries?
Maybe to speak loudly?
T o say the truth.
T o lift the rug up.
T o reveal.
T o share secrets.
T o break cycles.
This would be my villain origin story .
00:17:25–INTER VIEW : GR
Y o hablo y le digo, le pr egunto a Dios, por qué estoy bien?
Por qué me siento bien? Por qué estoy…Por qué me dejas? //
I talk to, tell and ask God, why am I healthy?
Why do I feel good? Why , why am I still here?
00:17:33–HOST : AR
I had few expectations for our interview . I expected him to be defensive, but I didn’ t expect the
final excuse. I didn’ t expect him to use religious guilt to justify his actions.
The nine-year -old in me, however , had expectations. She wanted to hear a profound and honest
mea culpa , an admission of guilt and wrongdoing. But it never came.
2 2
My family hardly ever says what they’re really thinking or feeling. W e let things marinate and go
unsaid. This is how unspoken secrets and rules can thrive for so long. W e pretend they don’ t
exist and we ignore any sign that they do.
Machismo doesn’ t make space for accountability . Maybe that’ s what I’m doing here. W e’re
healing through it and we’re gonna talk about it too.
It’ s been months since my dad and I had this conversation… and he hasn’ t brought it up since.
00:18:51–Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:19:01– HOST :AR
This is a podcast by Locatora Productions.
I’m your creator , HOST , and executive producer , Ariana Rodriguez.
Original score created by Chrisol Lomeli & Brian Gazo
V oice acting by Rafael Sigler
Thank you to my dad for sitting in discomfort with me.
Bienvenidos a La Casa Chica.
2 3
Episode 3: Catedral y Capillas
https://on.soundcloud.com/qCckV
00:00:00--AMBIE: Restaurant.
00:00:08–HOST : Ariana Rodriguez
It’ s April, 2002, a Sunday , a day reserved for God and brunch.
My dad usually works on Sundays, so after misa , my mom and I head to a restaurant .
I'm nine-years-old, wearing a classic church look: a simple pink dress, ballet flats, dainty gold
hoops, and barrettes in my hair . Siempr e bien peinada, like Mami.
Around us, families drink their cof fee and mimosas; laughter fills the patio as servers hustle from
kitchen to table . It was an ordinary Sunday morning. It was just our normal life, then suddenly it
wasn’ t.
My mom looks around the room to see if anyone is listening. No one is. She puts down her
cof fee and clears her throat, hesitating a moment.
She leans in and quietly says, “I have something to tell you…”
This is when she reveals to me that she and my dad are not married. They’re in this limbo. W e
are, in fact, my dad’ s second not-so-secret family . W e are la casa chica .
00:01:42–AMBIE: Restaurant. Distorted.
2 4
00:01:43–HOST :AR
The world keeps spinning around us, but I am frozen in the moment. This day changed me.
W e are no longer mother and daughter having brunch. W e are two friends and I have just become
the secret-keeper .
Little things that didn’ t make sense, now came into focus.
My mom wore a diamond ring on her left hand, but when I would ask about my parents’
engagement story , they avoided the question.
00:02:18 –Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:02:26–HOST : AR
W elcome to the third and final episode of La Casa Chica, a podcast about uncovering the secret
lives of Latinx families. I’m your host Ariana Rodriguez. I’ve been telling my family’ s story .
And I’m not exaggerating here – it’ s a real life telenovela.
My mom and dad have an alternative living arrangement that is so common in Latin American
culture that it has its own name: la casa chica, which translates to “the small house,” referring to
a married man’ s other life.
My dad has been married to another woman for over 40 years. My mom and I are my dad’ s casa
chica . But he has reversed the usual script because he’ s actually lived with my mom and I for
the past 25 years.
00:03:24–MUSIC: “Or gan Music.” Eduardo Albertoni.
2 5
00:03:32–HOST :AR
I attended Catholic school from grades K through 12.
In first grade I was cast as the V ir gin Mary in the school Christmas play .
In 8th grade, on Halloween, my school required us to dress up as saints or religious figures.
In 1 1th grade at my all-girls high school, when I was 16, my Sacraments teacher assigned a
“W edding Book.” W e were instructed to plan our future weddings.
I’ve read scripture passages countless times throughout my life.
Attended mass, twice a week.
Friday with the entire school, Sunday with my family .
Being in Catholic school meant reenacting a lot of the Bible:
The washing of the feet.
The last supper .
The stations of the cross.
I get it.
By showing us the extreme sacrifice that Jesus made to save us, the sinners, we’re meant to have
unwavering faith.
The number of Latinos in the U.S. who are Catholic has been in decline for decades, but it’ s still
more than half the population.
It’ s been hard for me to keep the faith, especially to separate Catholicism from Colonization.
Religion was used during conquest to subjugate Indigenous peoples.
That’ s one of the reasons I call myself a recovering Catholic…It’ s taken years to undo the shame
I was taught. About sex and sexuality , gender…
2 6
But this isn’ t a podcast about Catholicism…more so, it’ s about understanding a culture and
society that enables machismo .
00:05:36–MUSIC: “La Rosa de Guadalupe” by Hank W arner .
00:05:41–HOST : AR
Even though I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore, it still informs so much of Latinx culture.
The two are tied together: just look at La V ir gen de Guadalupe’ s iconic stature.
I’ve been on this lifelong journey to understand why la casa chica is normalized in Latin
American culture, pop culture and my family .
00:06:1 1–INTER VIEW :GR (My father .)
Y o siento que, por qué Dios me hizo que me casara? Él me puso todos los caminos. Y o
equivocado o no. Per o me casé… //
I feel like, why did God have me get married? He showed me all the paths. Maybe I shouldn’ t
have gotten married, but I did...
00:06:20–HOST :AR
After hearing my dad’ s excuse about not getting a divorce because of his religion, I really wanted
to talk to a priest. But as I said, I’m not practicing anymore. I don’ t belong to a parish.
2 7
Finding a Catholic cler gy who was willing to talk to a journalist was challenging. I called,
emailed and visited my local church numerous times and no one would meet with me.
But then I met Deacon Paul. He serves USC’ s Caruso Catholic Center .
00:06:57–INTER VIEW : Deacon Paul Pesqueira: Now my role as coordinator of sacramental
preparation, as I do with anybody that wants to be married in the Roman Catholic Church...
00:07:06–HOST : AR
The Catholic guilt still has a hold of me because I’m actually so nervous to have this
conversation with Deacon Paul – even though he’ s a layman and not a priest. After becoming
acquainted with each other , I get the sense he’ s going to be open. He calls me mija and asks if
I’m a local girl. I am.
I asked Deacon Paul if he was familiar with la casa chica . He says he’ s not familiar , but when I
explain it to him, he immediately recognizes it.
00:07:43–INTER VIEW :PP
I hate to use the word secret but, you know , the other family often times — the spouses, the
abuelas— they know what's going on. Right? So is it a secret? Y es, kind of.
00:07:58–HOST : AR
While doing research for this show , I came across this dicho , this saying:
T engo mi catedral y tengo mis capillas .
2 8
“I have my cathedral and I have my chapels.”
This is another phrase that alludes to an extramarital af fair . Kind of like a casa chica .
00:08:21–CLIP: Podcast: El Bueno, La Mala, El Feo
El Bueno: Oye, espérame. Y la esposa sabia de la otra también?
Don T elaraño: Sí. Hay catedral, una sola catedral
EB: Y hay capilla
DT : En el pueblo no puede haber dos catedrales.
EB: No señor es. Nomas una.
//
EB: W ait, and the wife knew about the other woman too?
DT : Y es. There’ s a cathedral, one cathedral.
EB: And there’ s a chapel.
DT : A town can not have two cathedrals.
EB. No, sir . Only one.
00:08:34–HOST :AR
I found this podcast episode by “El bueno, la mala, el feo.” In Spanish-language radio, there’ s a
tendency to have a character serve as comedic relief. In this show , the character of Don T elaraño
says that wives should let their husbands have other women. That it’ s against nature for a man to
be monogamous.
2 9
This clip is machismo disguised as humor . I know it’ s supposed to be a joke, but this type of
humor is not for me – and it helps to perpetuate a poisonous tradition.
More importantly though, why is there a cheating metaphor that uses a cathedral and a chapel as
an example? I asked Deacon Paul about this dicho as well.
00:09:27 –INTER VIEW :PP
W e talk about, in marriage preparation, creating the domestic church. They are to create that
domestic church, maybe what you would say [is] the cathedral, and their responsibility is to get
their spouse to heaven. The little chapel, out on the side, is very much in contradiction to what
we believe in the Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.
00:09:59–HOST : AR
Deacon Paul had his own experience with a second, not-so-secret family while he was a
bereavement minister .
00:10:09–INTER VIEW :PP
I had a family tell me, [As] soon as we'r e done with the funeral, I want you to shut off the mics
and the power , because [they did] not want so and so to get up on the mic. And I go, W ell, who is
this person? Oh, that's mi abuelo’ s other family . And he had his wife, he had his children, they
knew about it. And he had this woman, and he had two children from her . And she felt like [she]
should have an opportunity to speak as well. And the family said no.
3 0
00:10:50 –HOST :AR
What Deacon Paul experienced is my biggest fear…
W e all think about what it means to one day lose our parents. Especially in my family . My mom
has her funeral arrangements ready and reminds me often. It’ s so morbid, but I love that my mom
has her plans – her final act of mothering.
Unlike my father , like many other things, I have no idea if he even has plans.
As you’ve listened to this podcast, you’ve probably had some questions about my dad’ s first
family . And to be honest, I do too.
I wish I could have a conversation with them.
A chance to heal from one common thing: my father .
T o protect their privacy , all I can say is this:
My dad shares things about his other children, but I’ve never met them. Or his wife.
When I was a kid, it was weird to know there were two people out in the world that I shared
DNA with. I felt sad that they never wanted to know me. As an adult, I get it. It’ s an impossible
situation. That none of us asked for .
So when I think about my father ’ s inevitable funeral, I wonder if that will be the first time I meet
them? There’ s so much anticipated drama around a really sad thing. W ill it be like Deacon Paul
described?
I didn’ t plan to meet with Deacon Paul the Thursday before Palm Sunday , it just worked out that
way . When I asked him about people, like my father , who used their faith to justify their bad
choices, he talked about the gospel of hypocrisy .
3 1
00:13:04–INTER VIEW :PP
This Sunday is the gospel of the hypocrisy . So what is the hypocrisy? The hypocrisy is that at the
beginning of that Gospel reading, everybody is welcoming Jesus with open arms. They actually
have palms and he's walking, he's coming into Jerusalem Amano on a colt, and they're saying
Hosanna in the highest blessing, right? And then a little while later , they're screaming c Cucify
him! It's hypocrisy . And we're hypocrites. W e, as people, are imperfect beings.
00:13:47–HOST :AR
Is reckoning possible? Deacon Paul shared that when the disciple Peter asks Jesus how many
times do we for give, he responds with an infinite number . This podcast is not about for giveness.
It’ s about understanding and uncovering as means for liberation. If for giveness is a byproduct of
this, great. But it’ s not my ultimate goal.
I don’ t harbor a grudge against my father , but I am looking for accountability . How do you hold
someone accountable when he won’ t admit to hurting you?
00:14:35–INTER VIEW :PP
The reckoning is…do you allow somebody to continue to take char ge of your life? Do you allow
somebody's actions to control who you are and how you act? And I hope the answer to that is no.
If it's a negative impact, at what point do you say I for give you ? I don't appr ove of what you have
done . But now I know how not to act.
3 2
00:15:09–HOST :AR
Lately my mom has been saying she wants to end things with my dad.
I’ve been waiting for her to leave him practically my entire life.
I hope she means it this time. She’ s always deserved more.
And what I deserve is honesty .
Even though I knew my casa chica was a secret, it was my normal.
And when your baseline for normal is skewed, you stop questioning it.
Going through this process has exposed the cracks in our family’ s foundation – in our casa
chica . I have just as many questions as I had when I started. I don’ t know if there can be closure,
but at least I can let this story go.
It no longer defines me. I have broken the cycle by telling our story .
00:16:13– Original Score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
00:16:25–HOST : AR
This is a podcast by Locatora Productions.
I’m your creator , host, and executive producer , Ariana Rodriguez.
Original score by Chrisol Lomeli and Brian Gazo.
Thank you to Deacon Paul Pesqueira for participating in this interview .
Bienvenidos a La Casa Chica.
3 3
Bibliography – Interviews
Interview with Zertuche, Maggie on October 1, 2022.
Interview with G.R. on November 13, 2022.
Interview with Deacon Paul Pesqueira on March 30, 2023
3 4
Bibliography – T ext
Depa, M. A. (2019). The phenomenological investigation of "The other woman" in an
extramarital affair (dissertation).
3 5
Bibliography – Multimedia
Larrosa , E. (2000). Mujer es engañadas . Y ouT ube . Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved 2022, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=QjUQ1eaiq4U.
Larrosa , E. (2000). Mujer es engañadas . Y ouT ube . Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved 2023, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=2iELJd_b2Z0.
Larrosa , E. (2000). Mujer es engañadas . Y ouT ube . Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved 2023, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=q94TKH6cIXM.
Larrosa , E. (2000). Mujer es engañadas . Y ouT ube . Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved 2023, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ULXWz_AnOyk.
Castro, Alberto Jose. (2004). Rubí. Y ouT ube. Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved, 2023, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=PKKN3t51r0c.
Bechalani, Mimi. (1989). T er esa. Y ouT ube. Mexico ; Las Estrellas. Retrieved, 2023, from
https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=Ijx-IEbJlxo.
Castillo, V .Y . (2000). Infiel [Recorded by Rocio Durcal].
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=nGp4bu0PiUM.
Garcia, R.F ., Livi, R. (1995). Mujeriego [Recorded by José José].
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=UYfCGXfAMNU.
T ara, F . (2015). Chim Pum Callao. [Recorded by Zaperoko La Resistencia Salsera del Callao].
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=zBTh7URaUEM.
W arner , H. W arner , P . (2008). La Rosa de Guadalupe.
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=QAXXEocX8hQ.
Albertoni, E. (2020). 1 Hour Church Or gan Hymns.
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=nLH_wmNFOl8.
Sleep Sounds Express. (2015).
Retrieved from https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=xY0GEpbW re.
Lomeli, C. Gazo, B. (2023). La Casa Chica original score.
3 6

Abstract (if available)

Abstract This audio memoir examines a phenomenon in Latinx culture known as la casa chica, which translates to “the small house,” referring to a married man’s alternate life. Through audio storytelling and interviews, I take a close look at this culturally-sanctioned and accepted way of life. By doing so, I take a look at my own family structure. This audio project creates a counter-narrative for la otra, or the “other woman.” She is often villainized and silenced. How do telenovelas, religion and society contribute to this archetype? This project aims to break the silence around oftentimes unspoken secrets and understand why the patriarchy allows men to behave badly.

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Asset Metadata

Creator Rodriguez, Ariana (author)

Core Title La casa chica: an audio memoir

School Annenberg School for Communication

Degree Master of Arts

Degree Program Specialized Journalism

Degree Conferral Date 2023-05

Publication Date 10/20/2024

Defense Date 04/20/2023

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag audio memoir,casa chica,counternarratives,Infidelity,la otra,Latina writers,Latino families,mujeres engañadas,OAI-PMH Harvest,telenovelas,the other woman

Format theses (aat)

Language English

Contributor Electronically uploaded by the author (provenance)

Advisor Garza, Oscar (committee chair), Aguilar, Amara (committee member), Tolan, Sandy (committee member)

Creator Email ariana.zrodriguez@gmail.com,arianar3@usc.edu

Unique identifier UC113062981

Identifier etd-RodriguezA-11682.pdf (filename)

Legacy Identifier etd-RodriguezA-11682

Document Type Thesis

Format theses (aat)

Rights Rodriguez, Ariana

Internet Media Type application/pdf

Type texts

Source 20230421-usctheses-batch-1028 (batch), University of Southern California (contributing entity), University of Southern California Dissertations and Theses (collection)

Access Conditions The author retains rights to his/her dissertation, thesis or other graduate work according to U.S. copyright law. Electronic access is being provided by the USC Libraries in agreement with the author, as the original true and official version of the work, but does not grant the reader permission to use the work if the desired use is covered by copyright. It is the author, as rights holder, who must provide use permission if such use is covered by copyright. The original signature page accompanying the original submission of the work to the USC Libraries is retained by the USC Libraries and a copy of it may be obtained by authorized requesters contacting the repository e-mail address given.

Repository Name University of Southern California Digital Library

Repository Location USC Digital Library, University of Southern California, University Park Campus MC 2810, 3434 South Grand Avenue, 2nd Floor, Los Angeles, California 90089-2810, USA

Repository Email cisadmin@lib.usc.edu