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Exploring racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students through Asiancrit theory…

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Content EXPLORING RACIALIZED EXPERIENCES OF ASIAN PACIFIC ISLANDER DESI STUDENTS THROUGH ASIANCRIT THEORY: DECOLONIZING A SENSE OF BELONGING THROUGH STUDENT-RUN ORGANIZATIONS AND COMMUNITY-BASED PARTICIPATORY ACTION RESEARCH by Alex Luong A Thesis Presented to the FACULTY OF THE USC ROSSIER SCHOOL OF EDUCATION UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree MASTER OF EDUCATION ( TEACHING) May 2023 Copyright 2023 Alex Luong ii Acknowledgements To begin, I would like to acknowledge the efforts and intentions of my thesis committee. From brainstorming, to proposing, to defending, there has been nothing, but unconditional love displayed by my committee. Dr.Banuelos, it all started with you. When I first started the program, I reached out to schedule a meeting with you in hopes of creating a professional plan to start academic advising and make use of my degree. Your response to an eager new graduate student was, “Alex, I much rather learn a bit more about you first.” I carried this message with me throughout this program because it made me realize that I am more than my resume, and my previous and current roles and that I have a story to tell. Thank you for empowering me to tell that story. Dr.Cortes, the only instructor to ever give me a grade less than an A on any of my assignments. I believe most people would have allowed that to hurt their ego, but I leaned into it even more. You have always expected the best out of us and when we did not perform in a way that displayed our best, you were going to let us know about it. I wanted that accountability factor in my thesis committee and you have certainly provided that through our discussions, reviews, and words of affirmation. Your career class was also the first class that I ever worked on an APID-focused project: Career Options for APID students. This project helped me feel more comfortable in speaking about my ethnic identity and how I can utilize that in spaces where value and possibilities are created. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. Dr.Ocampo, I can’t describe in words the amount of impact that you have had on me iii throughout the past few years. What I will miss most about this program is not my colleagues, the campus, or even the courses. I will miss the after-class walks. I will miss standing in the middle of USC at 10 PM discussing our identities and the impact we plan to make on the future. I will miss our one-on-one zoom meetings where we consult with each other on pushing forward our work of decolonization. You have and continue to empower me in ways that I cannot describe in words. This acknowledgment does not serve as a farewell as I know that there is still work to be done and we are only scratching the surface of our work together. Before I started this project, I scheduled a meeting and told you that I wanted to challenge myself. The challenge did not come from writing or research, the challenge came from locating myself and bringing it into this piece of work. Thank you for modeling what it means to be an instructor, leader, mentor, and educator. I certainly would not have been able to pull off this project without the support of my friends and loved ones. Christy, thank you for all the unconditional support you have given me through this process. When I was tired, you revitalized me. When I felt like I couldn’t do it, you reminded me that I can do anything. When I forgot who I was, you reminded me that I needed to be who I am meant to be. Thank you for being my first spectator, guinea pig, and number one fan. To my “write or dies”, thank you for all your support throughout this process. I will never forget our feelings of doubt, imposter syndrome, and group chats, we did it! Jade, Jae Eun, and Rene, thank you three for being a key part of my support system and community from day 1 in our program to the conclusion of our time as graduate students. I am looking forward to more desserts, candles, and adventures together. iv To the generation before me, this includes mom, dad, aunt Kelly, uncle Ky, all my uncles, my aunties, and my ancestors. I hope that the work I am doing is bringing peace to you all. I hope that I am making the sacrifices and suffering you all went through worth it. You have taught me my whole life to stay silent and not bring light to this traumatic and tragic past. Although I understand, I can stay silent no longer. It is a part of who we are, what I am, and what I want to be. Thank you for all you have done for me. I hope that I am making you proud. To Andrew Jr. and Abigail Ngo, carry on our legacy and know that you are both loved. Now, to the most important acknowledgment I need to make: the club. APID Club, you have all impacted me in so many ways. We have shared a lot of stories about ourselves with each other throughout the past few months. Your strength, vulnerability, and light have all been incredibly inspiring and motivating for me to witness and live through. When some of you share that you aspire to be like me and consider me a mentor, I hold that with great honor and with great responsibility. Truthfully, all of this would not have been possible without you, and I hope we can continue to grow together through this experience. Thank you for helping me feel heard, seen, and loved. v Table of Contents Acknowledgements…………………………………………………………………………………………………...……ii List of Tables…………………………………………………..……………………………………………………………..ix Abstract………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….x Chapter 1: Introduction ...................................................................................................................................... 1 Contemporary Asian Pacific Islander Desi ............................................................................................. 5 APID in Higher Education......................................................................................................................... 6 Theoretical Framework ................................................................................................................................. 7 Statement of Problem ..................................................................................................................................... 9 Purpose of the Study ....................................................................................................................................... 9 Brief Description of Methodology ........................................................................................................... 10 Overall Organization of Thesis ................................................................................................................. 11 Chapter 2: Literature Review ........................................................................................................................ 12 Asian Pacific Islander Desi American Demographics ...................................................................... 12 APID Diaspora ............................................................................................................................................ 13 Challenges faced by APID ........................................................................................................................... 14 Perpetual Foreigner ................................................................................................................................. 14 Model Minority Myth .............................................................................................................................. 16 Colonialism ................................................................................................................................................. 18 Xenophobia and APID ............................................................................................................................. 19 Acknowledgment of Heterogeneity, Tensions, and Anti-Blackness within APID............ 20 California Community College System .................................................................................................. 20 Stigma in Community Colleges ............................................................................................................ 22 APID in Community College ................................................................................................................. 23 Challenges.................................................................................................................................................... 23 APID Students with Immigrant Status ............................................................................................. 24 Family Expectations and Influences .................................................................................................. 25 vi Student Groups and Organizations at Community College ........................................................... 26 Culturally-Based Clubs and Organizations ..................................................................................... 27 Sense of Belonging in Higher Education .......................................................................................... 28 Sense of Belonging and Engagement Opportunities ................................................................... 29 Theoretical Framework .............................................................................................................................. 29 Critical Race Theory ................................................................................................................................ 30 AsianCrit Theory ....................................................................................................................................... 30 Seven Tenets............................................................................................................................................... 31 Connections to the Current Study ........................................................................................................... 34 Chapter 3: Research Methods ....................................................................................................................... 35 Participatory Action Research ............................................................................................................. 36 Community-Based Participatory Action Research ...................................................................... 37 Community Engagement in Community-Based Participatory Action Research .............. 38 Method ............................................................................................................................................................... 40 Site selection ............................................................................................................................................... 40 City of Jacaranda ....................................................................................................................................... 41 Participation Selection ........................................................................................................................... 42 Data Collection ........................................................................................................................................... 43 Data Analysis .............................................................................................................................................. 43 Sense of Belonging ................................................................................................................................... 44 Researcher Bias .............................................................................................................................................. 44 Limitations ....................................................................................................................................................... 45 Chapter 4: Presentation of Data ................................................................................................................... 47 Student Pseudonyms ................................................................................................................................... 48 The Dichotomy of Institutionalization and Lived Experiences ................................................... 48 Chartering a Club and Crafting a Mission Statement .................................................................. 49 Establishing Club Positions and Norms ........................................................................................... 50 Creating the Club ...................................................................................................................................... 51 vii Recruiting .................................................................................................................................................... 52 Tabling .......................................................................................................................................................... 53 Foundations of Club Creation through Club Members: Why Join the APID Club? .......... 54 Identifying Community .......................................................................................................................... 56 Cultural Artifact Activity ............................................................................................................................. 58 Samantha’s Share ..................................................................................................................................... 58 Alex’s Artifact ............................................................................................................................................. 59 Attitudes towards APID identities at QMC .......................................................................................... 62 Model Minority Myth .............................................................................................................................. 67 Internal Classism and Proximity to Whiteness ............................................................................. 69 Equity Discussion and Coalition Building ....................................................................................... 71 Operationalizing a Sense of Belonging .................................................................................................. 73 Explicitly Defining a Sense of Belonging.......................................................................................... 73 Implicit Illustrations of a Sense of Belonging ................................................................................ 75 Mask Presentations.................................................................................................................................. 77 Chapter 5: Discussion of Findings and Implications ............................................................................ 80 Discussion of Findings ................................................................................................................................. 81 Asianization: A Consequence of Existing ............................................................................................. 82 Asianization: Model Minority Myth ................................................................................................... 82 Asianization: Perpetual Foreigner ..................................................................................................... 83 Strategic Antiessentialism: We Are Not The Same ........................................................................... 84 Story, Theory, and Praxis: Making Meaning ....................................................................................... 86 Implications for Practice and Policy ...................................................................................................... 87 Recommendations ................................................................................................................................... 88 Implications for Future Research ........................................................................................................... 89 Conclusion ........................................................................................................................................................ 90 Chapter 6: Epilogue ........................................................................................................................................... 92 viii References ............................................................................................................................................................ 95 Appendix ............................................................................................................................................................. 100 ix List of Tables Table 1: Pseudonyms of Participants ……………………………………………….……………………………48 Table 2: Motives for Joining the APID Club …………………………………………………………..……......55 Table 3: Defining Community ……………………………………………………………………………………….57 Table 4: Defining a Sense of Belonging ………………………………………………………………….………74 Table 5: Exploring Research Questions………………………………………………………………………..…81 Table 6: Impact of Project …………………………………………………………………………………………….92 x Abstract This qualitative research study explores the operationalization of a sense of belonging through the voice and lived experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) students participating in a cultural student-run organization at a California community college. In addition, this study explores themes related to the racialized experiences of APID students through the lens of AsianCrit theory and through the analysis of group discussion transcripts using community-based participatory research methodology. Through these approaches, a sense of belonging is identified and created through the voices and lived experiences of the club participants. 1 Chapter 1: Introduction My elementary school cafeteria echoed with sounds of scans beeping from free-lunch card programs, the rustle of plastic wrapping, and the voices of discussion from children. Though the cafeteria served as a place for congregation during most days of the year, one especially electric day was Science Fair Day, the only day all the long tables were rearranged and aligned with a walkway from the front door to the exit. Walking through this science fair exposed me to Styrofoam spheres, volcanoes made from hard clay, and trifold cardboard with cutouts of words and photos glued onto them. Most words are spelled out, such as hypothesis, question, introduction, data, and results. At an early age, I was taught that this is how we, as human beings, are designed to understand the world around us. However, what I saw in the cafeteria and in the classrooms was not consistent with what I saw in everyday life. I grew up in a city that was both predominantly Chinese and Mexican. In my city, you can find Peking ducks hanging with open windowpanes on one side of the block, walk down the street, and find some of the best lengua and carne asada in town. But growing up in a melting pot with ingredients similar to yours yet different offers a unique perspective. As a kid, I felt weird about wearing shoes at my friend’s house and that everyone got red envelopes during Chinese New Year. My non-Asian friends thought I was so lucky when I shared that I got a red envelope with a 20-dollar bill, but I felt so envious when my other wealthier Asian friends would brag about the 100-dollar bills they got. Even though I felt jealous and envious, I still managed to save $20 every year for the one time my mom would take me to Chinatown in Los Angeles and let me buy whatever I 2 wanted. One of my first purchases was a large linen poster of Bruce Lee with three scratch marks across his chest. I idolized Bruce Lee growing up as I watched his movies, used him as a character in video games, tried to learn his martial arts styles, and even wrote my first historical biographical paper on him in the 4th grade. Yet, as I reflect as an adult, I feel that I idolized him because of how he was represented in the media. Growing up, there were no Asian Batmans, Asian Athletes, or Asian hip-hop artists. There were just Asian men who were either portrayed as violent foreigners or demasculinized stereotypical nerds. These stereotypes did not impact me until I was a bit older in middle school when I was in the schoolyard, and “yo mama” jokes were the primary jokes of the time. One time, I went head-to-head with another student and told a “yo mama” joke that caused an eruption of laughter among most kids in the schoolyard. In a moment of uncertainty, the student froze and said, “At least my mama isn’t Asian.” To my surprise, an even louder outbreak of laughter shook the world around me as I experienced my first experience with racism. That memory never left me as I navigated my way through high school. I would hear very often the Asian community words and beliefs that enabled the stereotypes surrounding Asians. I would see the superiority complex that existed within the Asian group as a whole but also Asian groups against other races and ethnicities. But I never understood it because I would hear from outside groups that I was privileged and wealthy but understood that life at home was nowhere near those statements. My parents are ethnically Chinese but born and raised in Cambodia. As refugees, war, death, poverty, and displacement were what my parents had for a childhood. I was constantly reminded about their hardships through life lessons of staying out of the way, not making too much noise or bringing attention to myself, and doing whatever it takes to 3 stay alive. I saw how this trauma impacted my parents through their intense paranoia and restless nights. I saw that there were questions to be asked, but the answers never came because they were tucked away in memories that have been fighting so hard to be forgotten. Their only answers were to work as hard as possible, not bring attention to yourself, and know that there were a lot of sacrifices to allow you an opportunity to do well in the education system, so that is what you need to focus on. So, when someone called me privileged because of my ethnic identity, I accepted that I was because I am Asian, and I think of all my friends receiving $100 red envelopes. Still, it was not cohesive with the $20 red envelope my parents saved up for me by refusing to move into a bigger apartment and even sleeping on the floor. While I tried my best to live up to my family’s expectations of the cost of suffering through achieving academic success, I struggled immensely in academia and considered myself a bad Asian kid, especially as I saw many of my friends applying for prestigious colleges and universities. I heard a lot from these same students that they would end up applying to community colleges if they did not get into the colleges they selected. For me, community college was my only option. When I was asked why I didn’t attend a “real” college in a job interview after high school, I dropped out of college immediately to focus on another perceived value in most Asian families, getting wealthy and helping your family. It was not until much later in my academic career that I learned about how most Asian cultures can be described as collectivist; however, I understood that it was my duty to provide for my family as soon as possible. My parents always reminded me that they could only survive because the family cared for each other. With this pressure, I worked full-time for two years selling cell phones. I got good at selling iPhones in this role because I learned 4 how to code-switch between English and Chinese. My Chinese customers would always compliment me on how I was brilliant and would be a great student one day, but they didn’t know that I lied about being a student to uphold the stereotype of being studious. One day, my father encouraged me to go back to college to become a doctor or engineer, to which I agreed and found myself struggling again. It was through the help of my counselors that I found a love for education and eventually transferred to a 4-year university. That is where I saw a representation of Asian males in higher education that did not involve science, technology, engineering, or math. More specifically, I engaged in an Asian American studies course and read about the Chinese Cambodian diaspora. For the first time in my life, I was learning about something directly related to my family’s experience. Ever since this experience, I have progressed in my academic career and graduate studies with a lens connected to my Asian American heritage. Eventually, I worked as a college advisor in a community that was identical to the community I grew up in, and I saw the same problems: stereotypes based on race and ethnicity, stigmatization of community colleges, and a lack of understanding and community for students based on ethnic/cultural backgrounds. Studying under this lens intensified when I attended a professional conference for Asian Pacific Islander Desi higher education professionals and, for once, felt the questions of my youth being answered. As I eventually transitioned into a role at a community college, the question still vibrated in my consciousness: are there students out there who feel the way I felt? When I learned about an Asian Pacific Islander Desi affinity group, I instantly joined and eventually volunteered to serve as a club advisor for the new student-run organization focused on Asian Pacific Islander Desi culture and heritage. Through this project, I hope to combine my 5 training as a researcher in academia and complement that with the experiences I have gone through as an Asian American male. I hope to embrace opportunities that come from the experiences of the club participants and create an environment where they understand the meaningfulness of their stories by ensuring that they are heard and related to. They are identified as individuals with immense knowledge (Dardar, 1993). The purpose of the student club organization is to create a platform for students to share their stories, lessons, and lived experiences in which all participants feel that there is something to be learned from each other. Instead of living as fragmented human beings, the student organization offers a space where members can genuinely stop choosing what is appropriate to share in an educational setting and finally operate with intimacy regarding their cultural and ethnic roots (Dardar, 1993). As one of my mentors said, the production of this student-run organization offers a chance for us to identify issues and locate all the rich possibilities we have to offer. Though this project won’t be described through trifold cardboard boxes or styrofoam spheres, it offers generational knowledge through stories, themes, and dialogue. Collectively, these findings will not be presented as traditional data but as the truth behind the lived experiences of the community it serves. Contemporary Asian Pacific Islander Desi As a result of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, an outbreak of racism, vandalism, hate crimes, and other forms of xenophobia were targeted at Asians, Pacific Islanders, and Desi community members throughout the U.S. and in other parts of the world (Maglalang et al., 2022). The Asian Pacific Islander Desi American (APID) classification accounts for communities of people with ethnic and cultural roots from over 40 countries within the Asian continent and Oceanic islands. However, the aggregation of these groups has led to 6 the aggregation of the data and research conducted on these groups in higher education settings and beyond. Prior research found that APID communities have resisted and endured historical oppression through the model minority myth, perpetual foreigner stereotype, colonialism, and xenophobia (Chen et al., 2021). For example, the model minority myth paints an image that all APID folks are hardworking and successful and are one of the ethnic groups that can overcome hardship, oppression, and discrimination (Chen et al., 2021). Yet, it should be noted that not all sub-categories within the APID classification experience these forms of white supremacy in identical ways. When disaggregating the APID classification, Sabado-Liwag et al. (2022) found that many Filipinx and Pacific Islander communities still suffer from the aftermath of colonialism and displacement. Mistry & Kiyama (2021) explained that a focus on disaggregating APID data is the key to highlighting the diversity of the histories of APID communities and understanding the marginalization and invisibility faced by many sub-categories of the APID classification. The increase in hate crimes against APID communities during the COVID-19 pandemic highlighted the need to focus on existing systemic problems such as higher education. APID in Higher Education Regarding APID representation in higher education, the Postsecondary National Policy Institute (2022) found that APID students had the highest immediate college enrollment rate at 82% compared to other groups such as White, Hispanic, and Black. During the 2019-2020 academic school year, APID students were the largest represented among the United States public and private non-profit colleges at 10% (Postsecondary National Policy Institute, 2022). However, APID students are considered the minority at 7 public community colleges, where they are represented by 6% throughout the United States. Specifically, in California, APID students only make up 12% of the student population (California Community Colleges, 2022). California community colleges' social stigmatization describes them as backup options or technical schools lacking the academic rigor and prestige to bring students past basic jobs and careers (Gauthier, 2020). These false narratives can be intensified for many communities within the APID classification due to internalizing beliefs around the model minority myth. The narratives typically guide programming, decision-making, and funding that quantitative data, such as enrollment and transfer rates, force historically oppressed and disadvantaged communities to compete against each other for additional help. One concept built off the model minority myth and the perpetual foreigner stereotype is maintaining a sense of invisibility for many APID populations. Because of the quantitative data that supports the idea of APID communities' success in academics, many sub-categories within APID continue to struggle because they are perceived to be successful in quantitative data; however, the qualitative data behind their narratives tell a different story. Theoretical Framework This thesis utilizes the Asian Critical (AsianCrit) theory, grounded in critical race theory, to focus on students' lived experiences within the APID classification. The origins of AsianCrit theory stemmed from the belief that critical race theory disproportionately focuses on the lived experiences and racism experiences within the Black and White paradigm (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). In addition, critical race theory does not discuss the need for the disaggregation of data about APID communities and, therefore, does not offer a 8 deeper inquiry into the experiences of the marginalized communities within the APID classification (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). AsianCrit theory comprises seven tenets: Asianization, transnational contexts, reconstructive history, strategic anti-essentialism, intersectionality, story, theory, praxis, and commitment to social justice. Collectively, the seven tenets of AsianCrit theory attempt to build a framework for understanding historic racism that APID communities have faced both within the United States and globally, rewrite the history books to reanalyze and incorporate the voices of APID persons, empower APID communities, encourage the exploration of the intersectionality that exists within APID communities, and commit to a drive towards social justice for all APID communities and communities of color (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). To discover emerging themes and attitudes towards APID students’ self-identity, this thesis is guided by a student-run organization focusing on cultural identity; AsianCrit theory will be used to explore recurring themes and issues faced by the APID community at a California community college. Utilizing AsianCrit theory as a primary framework will help provide individualized analysis of the data collected and may help guide policymakers and higher education professionals to support APID students within the California community college system. The following research question drove my research:  How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory?  How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? 9 Statement of Problem Two common themes emerge when researching APID populations in higher education: there needs to be a focus on disaggregating the data between Eastern Asian students, Southeast Asian students, Pacific Islander students, and Desi students, and there is currently not enough research conducted on these groups individually and as a whole. There could be many reasons why there is not enough data. Yet, I argue that one influencing factor could be that the model minority myth leaves some researchers wondering if APID students need to be researched in the context of historical oppression or a drive toward social equity. As previously mentioned, the model minority myth and the perpetual foreigner stereotype are two factors that influence a sense of invisibility faced by many APID sub-categories and populations. Especially in California community colleges, APID students are underrepresented, and a lack of focus on this population, as represented by the amount of data available for this population, could impact the overall sense of belonging for APID students on community college campuses. Purpose of the Study Before the student-run organization focused on cultural identity created through the work of this thesis, there had never been a student-run organization focused strictly on APID students at the site where this research was conducted. This study focuses on the lived experiences of APID California community college students participating in a student- run organization focused strictly on their cultural identities. This study will explore themes such as a sense of belonging, the model minority myth, the perpetual foreigner stereotype, xenophobia, colonialism, and other issues that arise through the data collected by the participants. Additionally, this study addresses the need to disaggregate data among the 10 sub-categories within the APID classification to show that the experiences of each sub- group are different and that specialized care and attention should be shared among certain under-represented groups within APID. Furthermore, this study hopes to contribute to the collection of institutionalized research that lacks representation for APID students at community colleges. Finally, this study hopes to provide the participants with a space and platform for active participation and advocacy toward liberation and representation in all spaces. Brief Description of Methodology For this study, I used an approach that focused on decolonizing the methods used to examine and analyze the attitudes for the research question posed by this study. I used a qualitative approach grounded in community participatory action research where all stakeholders were a part of the creation of the research question, the questions being asked in group discussions, the themes and issues that emerged, and the operationalization of what is considered a sense of belonging. The research was conducted with students from Queen Mary College (QMC), a pseudonym created to protect the privacy of the college and the students. Participants for this student were voluntarily self-selected through convenience sampling and participated in weekly focus group discussions around APID identity and communities. Meetings took place in virtual and in-person formats; all meetings were recorded and transcribed. All appropriate precautions were taken to protect the confidentiality of the students by upholding the Institutional Review Board (IRB) protocols. A more in-depth and detailed description of the methodology used in this study is included in chapter 3. 11 Overall Organization of Thesis Chapter 2 of this thesis begins with an in-depth analysis of existing literature focused on APID identities and cultures, challenges faced by the APID community, APID representation and identity in higher education, student-run organizations, and a discussion on the AsianCrit theory framework. Chapter 3 discusses the research design, community-based participatory action research, sense of belonging, and limitations of this study. Chapter 4 of this thesis presents the data collected, and a collective synopsis of the findings is also provided. Chapter 5 will incorporate an analysis of the findings, implications, and a conclusion. Finally, Chapter 6 serves as an epilogue and reflection of how this study has impacted me as an educator and professional. 12 Chapter 2: Literature Review The purpose of this chapter is to present an overview of the currently available literature on Asian Pacific Islander Desi American (APID) communities and students. In this chapter, concepts around racism impacting APID communities, such as the model minority myth, the perpetual foreigner stereotype, xenophobia, and data aggregation, are explored and explained. In addition, the California community college system is reviewed within the context of APID student populations, student-run organizations, and concepts around a sense of belonging. Finally, this chapter concludes with a review of the literature on AsianCrit theory. Asian Pacific Islander Desi American Demographics In 1968, two UC (University of California) Berkeley students, Emma Gee and Yuji Ichioka, created a student organization that focused on increasing advocacy and visibility for students of Asian descent and came up with the Asian American Political Alliance (Kambhampaty, 2020). This organization is believed to be the first to use the Asian American term as an umbrella classification for all students of Asian descent to create a sense of unity (Kambhampaty, 2020). According to the Library of Virginia Education (2020), the term Asian Pacific Islander Desi American (APID) is a pan-ethnic classification that encompasses cultures and populations associated with Asian Pacific Americans (APA), Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI), Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander (AANAHPI), and South Asians from the India continent (Desi). AAPI emerged from the U.S. Census in 1977 to institutionalize a racial category (Gogue et al., 2022). The APID classification is one of the most diverse classifications as it includes over 40 countries from the Asian continent and Pacific Islands: Polynesians (e.g., Samoans, Tongans, Tokelauan), 13 Melanesian, Micronesians, Filipinx, Southeast Asians (e.g., Hmong, Khmer, Laotian, Vietnamese), South Asians (e.g., Bangladeshi, Indian, Nepali Pakistani, Sri Lankan), and East Asians (e.g., Chinese, Japanese, Korean) (Gogue et al., 2022). Between 2000 and 2019, the communities that make up the APID ethnic classification have been the fastest-growing ethnic group in the United States. (Quach et al., 2014). According to the 2020 U.S. Census, over 20.6 million people identify as Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander, or Asian in the United States. When examining all APID classifications, it is critical to analyze the factors contributing to how they got to the United States. APID Diaspora Throughout history, many economic, psychological, and situational factors have led people from Asia and the Pacific Islands to leave their homes in search of new homes in the United States. Mohamed and Abdul-Talib (2020) classified these factors into two major categories - pushing and pull factors. Pushing factors could be described as forcing people to leave their homes due to a lack of opportunities and employment, marginalization, discrimination, political factors, and war (Mohamed & Abdul-Talib, 2020). Pull factors could be described as factors that attract a person to pursue a new life in a new country, like new opportunities, reconnecting with family, and political developments (Mohamed & Abdul-Talib, 2020). It should be noted that not all of the pushing and pulling factors that contributed to the migration of the APID diaspora were voluntary. For example, many Southeast Asian populations have left their homes in response to the wars in their homelands (Sangalang & Vang, 2017). Further, for many Filipinx and Pacific Islanders, the history of colonialism in their homelands has impacted their ability to maintain their own culture. Instead, these 14 communities have found a need to assimilate from their original cultures to the new cultures imposed by their oppressors as a means of survival (Ocampo, 2014). In that regard, migration for many APID communities is as much about leaving behind their cultural customs and identities as it is physically leaving behind their homelands. Challenges faced by APID Although the aggregation of identities from multiple countries could create a sense of unity for APID people, the aggregated data may also mask the crucial differences and disparities among the experiences of the different distinct ethnic groups (Quach et al., 2014). As previously mentioned, there are over 40 countries that make up the APID classification (Gogue et al., 2018). The APID classification includes a diverse population of languages, cultural values, beliefs, religions, ethnic identities, and immigration histories (Chen et al., 2021). Thus, treating APID as a monolithic racial category often hides the complex histories of socio-political systems, colonialism, migration, and culture for sub- categories within the APID classification (Sabado-Liwag et al., 2022). In the next section, I will discuss some of the common challenges and stereotypes faced by specific APID identities that may only sometimes apply to some APID identities. Perpetual Foreigner APID communities consistently face racism and racial discrimination due to their treatment as perpetual foreigners. Chet et al. (2021) describes the perpetual foreigner as when those in the dominant American culture view the APID community as dangerous, dirty, docile, apelike, and a threat to American nationalism. This phenomenon could be traced back to the California Gold Rush when Chinese immigrants migrated in search of opportunity by working in gold mines and taking jobs in constructing the transcontinental 15 railroad (Chen et al., 2021). In response to foreign fears and American nationalism, U.S. Congress passed laws that prohibited Chinese and other Asians from obtaining citizenship, which was the first time the United States passed legislation against a specific ethnic group (Chen et al., 2021). Signs of the perpetual foreigner also impacted many other APID groups throughout history, such as during the World Wars, after the September 11th attacks, and during the COVID-19 pandemic (Chen et al., 2021). In recent times, the ideation of APID students as perpetual foreigners still exists within the higher education system. In 2011, a YouTube video labeled “Asians in the Library” went viral when a white student at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) mocked Asian American students and described the problem of the university accepting a horde of Asian students every single year (Nguyen et al., 2018). Given that over 130 years since the Chinese Exclusion Act and APID students are still faced with racialized and discriminatory experiences stemming solely from their ethnic appearance and roots, the campus racial climate for APID students should continue to be surveyed and studied (Nguyen et al., 2018). Although there are clear and explicit examples of how the perpetual foreigner stereotype exists and materializes in the everyday lives of communities within the APID classifications, there are also ways in which the perpetual foreigner stereotype impacts in more implicit ways. According to Huynh et al. (2011), perpetual foreigner stereotype incidents include the assumption that those who identify as APID do not fit in with the definition of what it means to be in America, subtle and covert marginalization experiences such as questioning one’s country of origin, hometown, and complementing one’s utilization of the English language. Even when the motives for these inquiries or statements 16 are not malicious or racially motivated, these assumptions and comments could result in APID communities and members ultimately feeling less American than their European or White counterparts (Huynh et al., 2011). This is problematic and a challenge for APID populations because it may influence their visibility and sense of belonging and question their cultural identities. Model Minority Myth One phenomenon that has been popularized throughout history by the media and government is the model minority myth. The model minority myth was a term coined in 1960 that described AAPIs (Asian American Pacific Islander), especially Asian Americans, as a law-abiding ethnic minority group that is hardworking and successful. It could overcome hardship, oppression, and discrimination (Chen et al., 2021). Sociologists coined this term to compare Asian Americans and other minority groups in the United States to reference Asians as a “model” and other minorities as unworthy (Chen et al., 2021). However, this turned minority groups against each other and shifted the focus away from challenging institutional racism and inequality. In terms of U.S. racial hierarchy, the model minority myth has placed Asian Americans closer to whiteness, yet they still face challenges like being considered a perpetual foreigner (Chen et al., 2021). Another critical problem with the model minority myth is that classifications like APID assume that all Asian Americans, Pacific Islanders, and Desi groups exist homogeneously and overgeneralize the experiences of APID people. The model minority myth creates an image of societal success. It promotes the ideology of Asian Americans' experiences as problem-free, yet there are still many challenges, discrimination, and racism faced by APID people (Chen et al., 2021). 17 Further, most published research on APID students has conflated the Pacific Islander populations with Asian American people (Poon et al., 2016). These implications may result in limited attention and resources being placed on some of the sub-categories within APID because all of the research is focused on some of the higher achieving Asian American students. Since APID data is typically aggregated, the data does not honor the individual challenges of Pacific Islanders, Filipinx, and Southeast Asian students (Poon et al., 2016). This study challenges fundamental developmental theorists' perspectives, including Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky. Researchers claim that these theories were developed within Western and Asian cultures and were not considered. Most of these theories fail to recognize the sociocultural aspects, such as harmful stereotyping and racial discrimination, and how they influence an individual's development (Chen et al., 2021). According to Erikson (1968), identity formation is the primary developmental task in adolescence. In a recent study, 99% of ninth and 10th-grade Asian-American students reported encountering at least one model minority stereotype: an image of high academic achievement and being socially and psychologically well-adjusted (Kiang & Thompson, 2011). Internalizing the model minority stereotypes could impact Asian American adolescents’ desire to live up to familial and societal expectations. When they are not met, they could suffer from identity issues, psychological distress, feelings of rejection, incompetencies, shame, self-doubt, and even suicide (Chen et al., 2021). In addition, they may develop negative attitudes toward seeking academic or psychological help due to the fear of letting others down and not living up to the stereotype (Chen et al., 2021). The model minority myth has materialized and impacted many APID groups differently. On one scale, groups are not living up to 18 expectations created by white supremacist motives. On the other hand, some groups are left out of a conversation due to their association with data that associates them with other Asian groups. Colonialism There has been a long history of colonialism or one nation establishing political control over another and disenfranchisement of formerly subjugated people for many APID populations (Sabado-Liwag et al., 2022). The colonialism of the Philippines, India, and many Pacific Islands created a colonial mentality that refers to internalized racism whereby people believe they are racially inferior to their oppressors (Sabado-Liwag et al., 2022). Colonial mentality materializes in colorism or white-skinned bias, feelings of indebtedness to the oppressor, preferring and idolizing Eurocentric phenotypes and culture, discrimination against other immigrants, and devaluing one’s native culture (Sabado-Liwag et al., 2022). Although these experiences are not uniform to all APID identities, American and European influences in many Asian, Pacific Islander, and Desi countries have ties and direct impacts on APID populations. For example, Sabado-Liwag et al. (2022) suggested that U.S. systems were established to influence the Filipinx workforce into a predominantly agricultural and service-oriented economy, such as plantation farming and nursing. There has been a history of exploitation of Filipinx workers for labor to offset U.S. healthcare worker shortages which caused generational displacement (Sabado-Liwag et al., 2022). Colonialism has lasting impacts on many populations within the APID community, and each sub-category experiences these implications in its ways. However, one consistent occurrence is another force moving into one’s homeland and taking advantage of the 19 resources, people, and culture. Ultimately, both push and pull factors are bred from colonialism. Xenophobia and APID During the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, there was an outbreak of anti-Asian racism in the United States and other parts of the world (Maglalang et al., 2022). Former President Trump placed blame on China for the virus with racist remarks such as “China Virus” and “Chinese coronavirus,” which resulted in hate crimes targeted against Asians and Asian Americans as a whole (Maglalang et al., 2022). There were reports of violence ranging from vandalism, verbal harassment, physical harassment, and homicide (Maglalang et al., 2022). It is essential to acknowledge that the recent racist sentiments toward Asian Americans replicate the historical racism faced by the APID community. After the September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York City, vilification of the Muslim and Islamic communities blurred the lines between xenophobia and patriotism (Safeer, 2010). Attacks on religious symbols, mosques, schools and cultural centers increased across the United States, and the world also impacted some of the Desi community (Safeer, 2010). Although some religions followed by Desi groups like Hindus and Sikhs have no relation to the Islamic faith, many Sikhs and Hindus fell victim to the hate crimes related to xenophobia from the September 11th attacks (Dave, 2015). Because Sikhs practice maintaining uncut hair, turban-wearing, and having a beard, many wrongfully associate these Sikh features with the features of Osama Bin Laden, whose image was spread across many newspapers, televisions, and other forms of media (Dave, 2015). After the September 11th attacks, the Desi community was met with increased hate crimes, including acts of vandalism, homicide, and massacre (Dave, 2015). There is a long 20 history of xenophobia for many APID communities, and examples of such include the model minority myth and the perpetual foreigner stereotype. Acknowledgment of Heterogeneity, Tensions, and Anti-Blackness within APID It should be acknowledged and discussed that tension, racism, and anti-blackness exist among groups within the APID community. As a result of entrenched social hierarchies within many Asian communities regarding proximity to whiteness, which is based on the model minority myth, systems of oppression often intersect with a quest for power and climbing up the social ladder (Maglalang et al., 2022). Examples could include internalizing model minority myth stereotypes and implementing those beliefs in everyday interactions among other minority groups or groups within the APID classification. During 1965 immigration law debates and cases, immigrants argued that their proximity to whiteness or Caucasian phenotypes qualified them as part of the Caucasian race. Therefore, a social hierarchy was created among APID communities that placed those with a whiter complexion above those with a darker complexion (Maglalang et al., 2022). It is through the responsibility of recognizing these inequities and socially constructed perspectives within the APID community to begin the journey of liberation and disempowering the oppressive history placed among many APID populations. California Community College System At the time of this writing, there are over 1.8 million college students throughout the 116 California Community Colleges campuses making it one of the largest higher education systems in the United States (California Community Colleges, 2022). About 2 million students enroll in California community college every year, and 69% come from diverse ethnic backgrounds (California Community Colleges, 2022). The goals of community 21 college students include completing noncredit CTE or workforce preparation courses, obtaining specialized certifications for specific jobs, completing general education in preparation for an associate degree, and/or transferring to an in-state or out-of-state university (California Community Colleges, 2022). In 2019-2020, about 51% of California State University students started at a California community college, and 29% of University of California students started at a California community college (California Community Colleges, 2022). About 47% of students in the California community college system do not pay fees because their tuition is covered by some of the financial aid, grants, and funding processed by the federal government or state government (California Community Colleges, 2022). The benefits of a community college education include increased earnings for California community college associate degree recipients by $11,000, adding 15 million jobs for the state of California, and increasing California’s income economy by 128.2 billion dollars (California Community Colleges, 2022). Further, White (2022) suggests that one of the primary goals for students entering postsecondary education is to remain competitive in the market for employment with livable wages and to meet job market demands. In that regard, tracking educational attainment is significant toward those ends. As such, student success at community colleges is measured by metrics of transfer rates, graduation rates, and completion rates which community colleges work to increase (White, 2022). Yet, efforts to increase educational attainment can be strenuous for community colleges because some students have been underprepared for college-level coursework and rely on sometimes unreliable student support services and financial services (White, 2022). Unlike many private and public 4- year universities with higher tuition rates and more funds to reinvest into student support 22 services, community colleges rely heavily on legislative budgets, local politics, and advocacy by community college leaders (Weiss et al., 2019). In sum, the differing budgeting systems and financial allocation aspects associated with 4-year universities differ from community colleges which may influence the types of investments made into student support services and programs. Stigma in Community Colleges Social stigmatization is a part of society that materializes over time. It is described as classifying, labeling, and influencing aspects of a person or organization’s life as deviant behavior based on their association with a specific person or organization (Gauthier, 2020). For many students in high school, the constant social comparisons being made between students pursuing higher education at 4-year universities versus community colleges impact their self-esteem, self-regulatory mechanisms, and self-concept (Bandura, 1993). Community colleges have been historically stigmatized as only providing technical and career advancement education and serving students with lesser abilities than their 4-year university counterparts (White, 2022). As community colleges continue to support a large group of students working towards career and technical education, the stigmatization of community colleges could also be passed onto the students who gain a perception that they do not have the academic intellect to pursue higher education beyond the minimum requirements to qualify for their jobs (Gauthier, 2020). Although the impact of stigmatization of community colleges will not be discussed in detail in this project, its concepts play a crucial role in students’ perception of self and identity. According to the National Center for Education Statistics (2020), 40% of 18-24- year-olds in the United States were enrolled in a college. Of that 40%, 64% of students 23 identified as Asian making Asians the largest ethnic group enrolled in college, while 34% of students identified as Pacific Islanders, which is second to last after American Indian/Alaskan Native (National Center of Education Statistics, 2020). Based on current statistical trends and the data provided on higher education enrollment, we can assert that Asian students are strongly represented in the college setting relative to other underrepresented groups. APID in Community College According to the California community college student demographics by ethnicity data during the academic year of 2019-2020, 11.38% of students identified as Asian, 2.80% of students identified as Filipinx, 0.40% of students identified as Pacific Islander, and 3.81% of students identified as multi-ethnic (California Community Colleges, 2022). Because the data on APID students are typically reported as aggregated data, research on the sub-groups of APID students within higher education, especially at a community college, is limited. This can be problematic as research on specific student populations could influence the allocation of campus resources such as physical space and funding. Challenges In a study further examining the experiences of APIDs in California community colleges, Lew and Wang (2005) posit that the demographics and characteristics of APID students at California community colleges could vary depending on the campus. For example, Lew & Wang (2005) found that out of 168 APID students that attended Rancho Santiago Community College in Orange County, CA, 66% reported attending high school outside of the United States, and 72% reported living in the United States for less than five years. This same study noted that immigrant APID students are less likely than native-born 24 APID students to have the social capital to navigate the U.S. higher education system and recommended that campuses provide additional resources like English as Second Language courses or Asian resource centers (Lew & Wang, 2005). Although more on the immigrant status of some APID community college students will be discussed later in this chapter, the immigrant APID student narrative is one of many narratives that need attention and care when discussing the specific subcategories within the APID classification. Additionally, Hawaiian students are often overlooked in the broad aggregate classification of AAPI or APID (Lew & Wang, 2005). Lew and Wang (2005) indicated that significant predictors of transferring for Hawaiian students included attending high school in an urban setting and specific scholarship funding for Native Hawaiian students. Ultimately, it is essential to recognize that there are many different barriers and challenges that APID students face on California community college campuses. Students have reported dissatisfaction with unwelcoming attitudes, unhelpful teaching styles, a lack of representation in faculty and higher education leadership professionals, and discriminatory behavior from staff and students (Lew & Wang, 2005). Certainly, stereotypes such as the model minority myth or the perpetual foreigner stereotype feed into the general perception of APID students being scholarly and successful in academia; yet, when they are at community colleges, they could be seen as less than, or they could also be seen as naturally gifted and scholarly which could be why they are faced with unwelcoming attitudes or teaching styles (Lew & Wang, 2005). This study hopes to shed more excellent light on these challenges to positively impact the APID student experience in post-secondary education and, specifically, in community colleges. APID Students with Immigrant Status 25 As previously mentioned, students who were not born in the United States make up a large portion of the APID community college population (Lew & Wang, 2005). These APID immigrant students face additional challenges and barriers compared to most native-born students from any ethnic background and deal with added emotional stressors from the differences in identity, culture, and academic expectations (Lew & Wang, 2005). This is especially revealed through the intergenerational trauma from refugee statuses in Southeast Asian families such as Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Lao families who were displaced due to war and political turmoil (Lew & Wang, 2005). Although not all sub- groups within APID have a history of refugee statuses, there is a trend of APID students with limited English capabilities in writing, speaking, and understanding (Lew & Wang, 2005). As such, language barriers could potentially push students away from careers or areas of study that require lots of writing and reading (Lew & Wang, 2005). Overall, it may be said that APID students with immigrant backgrounds or statuses face additional challenges but are not always represented in media or discussions about undocumented statuses. Family Expectations and Influences Further, it is important to discuss family influences to bring greater context to the APID student experience. Dutta (2017) indicated that families play a pivotal role in children’s and adolescents' future aspirations. Dutta (2017) found a heavy influence on Asian families to pursue careers and majors focused on science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Lew and Wang (2005) add that Asian and Pacific Islander students are the only students that ranked familial pressure and parental influence as a reason why they decided on their choice of a career, putting into clear view the impact 26 family influences have on the APID student experience in education. In addition to familiar expectations, there are also familial responsibilities that many APID students face. It should be noted that many different students from different ethnic backgrounds have familial responsibilities outside of their academics; however, for many lower-income immigrant families, college-age students are expected to work to contribute to their family’s income and attend college at the same time (Lew & Wang, 2005). The values of collectivism and taking care of one’s family are vital in many sub-categories, such as Filipinx, within APID; however, in some APID sub-categories, some students are expected to focus purely on their academics to meet societal, career, and academic expectations placed by their parents (Lew & Wang, 2005). Given that there are different cultural norms, familial expectations, and experiences by each sub-group within APID, it stands to reason that understanding the experiences of APID students at California community colleges should be examined with care and consideration, along with being mindful of disaggregating APID data to account for the variety of experiences. The APID population ranges in historical roots, cultural backgrounds, language, immigrant experiences, motives for coming to the United States, socioeconomic status, values, and expectations resulting in distinct experiences among each sub-group and each student. However, stereotypes such as the model minority myth continue to apply to APID in day-to-day interactions and experiences in higher education, data collection, policy decisions, and funding. As such, problems persist for APID students in college and their home life as they navigate their educational experience. Student Groups and Organizations at Community College 27 This study will focus specifically on the impact of student groups and organizations on the educational experience of APID students. In that regard, it’s important to note that students in higher education feel more welcomed and connected to campus when the environment promotes acceptance and tolerance (Simpson & Bista, 2021). Some of the positive benefits under these conditions for students include feelings of connection and mattering, which promotes social interaction, building community, and promoting cooperation (Simpson & Bista, 2021). College campuses can support students’ learning and development by circulating cultural enrichment with experiences such as forums, workshops, learning communities, presentations, clubs, and organizations (Simpson & Bista, 2021). The following section will focus on culturally based clubs and organizations and their impact on the APID student experience. Culturally Based Clubs and Organizations Students from minority backgrounds such as African American or Black, Hispanic American, Asian American, and Native American backgrounds have historically reported barriers in their educational achievement stemming from feelings circulating not belonging and discrimination, especially on college campuses (Bowman et al., 2015). As a result, community colleges have challenges with retention rates and completion rates for minoritized students (Bowman et al., 2015). In addition to academic aspects of college lifestyle, colleges also hold the responsibility of creating an environment that encourages students to engage outside the classroom. According to Bowman et al. (2015), students indicated that participating in clubs and organizations provides them with resources and skills to meet new peers and enhance skills related to communication and leadership, resulting in a more holistically supportive environment. There is a direct positive 28 correlation between club and organization participation for college students and high- grade point averages (Bowman et al., 2015). As Zacherman and Foubert (2014) found in their study, participation in organizations led to students being more knowledgeable regarding identifying their purpose and growth. Some benefits of participating in culturally based clubs and organizations on a college campus include stronger feelings of acceptance, integration, academic persistence, and confidence in cultural awareness and advocacy (Bowman et al., 2015). Sense of Belonging in Higher Education A sense of belonging has been historically described as fundamental human motivation that potentially has an impact on student success, engagement, and well-being (Gopalan & Brady, 2020). In both experimental and correlational studies, researchers found that when a student reports higher rates of feeling a sense of belonging, they are more likely to engage deeply and seek out and use their campus resources (Gopalan & Brady, 2020). However, many of the studies conducted regarding a sense of belonging were conducted at 4-year universities. In addition, many of the studies conducted regarding a sense of belonging on college campuses were conducted on campuses where the benefits of reporting a higher sense of belonging were not equally shared between most students and the underrepresented racial-ethnic minority (Gopalan & Brady, 2020). Gopalan & Brady (2020) note that a sense of belonging did not significantly impact student success outcomes for community college students, but this could be because community colleges and their students face unique challenges compared to their 4-year counterparts such as structural challenges and greater variability among student population and experiences. 29 Sense of Belonging and Engagement Opportunities As the literature suggests, a sense of belonging can be described as a student’s feelings of connectedness to campus and their perception of being a part of the environment (Strayhorn, 2012). Although APID is a growing minoritized group and makes up some of the largest groups in the demographics of college campuses in the United States, APID students are often overlooked as a minoritized community and underrepresented population relevant to campus services, programming, and research (Choi et al., 2021). The statistical representation of APID students in higher education as a homogenous group may also perpetuate the model minority myth by promoting the idea that APID students will find it easier to adjust to college campus culture. However, APID students are a historically marginalized population. They may find it challenging to navigate a college campus if the college is not intentionally creating resources and spaces to increase a student’s sense of belonging (Simpson & Bista, 2021). The lack of belonging on college campuses can compromise academic achievement and a student’s persistence level (Simpson & Bista, 2021). Finally, relevant to the APID experience in post-secondary education is a positive association between a student's sense of belonging and mental health outcomes in which APID students report lower depressive symptoms and positive perceived self-worth (Gummadam et al., 2016). Considering everything, an argument can be made that an increased sense of belonging and opportunities for students to engage in the college environment could improve the general college experience for students. Theoretical Framework As noted in previous sections, historical and societal factors play a role in APID students’ lives and development. When analyzing the impact of a student organization on 30 cultural identity and sense of belonging in APID students, both must be examined through the lens of the student’s experiences relating to cultural identity and how they experience their positionality within a college environment. To analyze these factors, I utilized principles and pedagogy from Asian critical theory and the culturally engaging campus environments model. Critical Race Theory Asian critical (AsianCrit) theory is firmly rooted in critical race theory, which has been a form of resistance against the roles that White supremacy plays in racism, both occurring in everyday life and institutionally (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Critical race theory could be described as an intellectual movement that emerged in academia as a response to the lack of attention toward historical structures of racism and oppression in the United States (Crossing et al., 2022). Some of the fundamental tenets of this theory include racism as a systemic force within the structure of society, neoliberal individualism as a tool to white-wash or obscure evidence of racism in society, acknowledging that support for civil rights and racial justice only emerges when there is a benefit to the interest of white Americans, consideration of intersectionality and experiences with oppression, and providing an emphasis on counter-storytelling as a tool to reveal and resist the racialized society and everyday experiences (Crossing et al., 2022). Critical Race Theory’s place in today’s education system continues to be debated and argued regarding course syllabi and course materials throughout the K-20 systems; however, it has led to many other racial conscious theories, such as AsianCrit theory. AsianCrit Theory 31 AsianCrit theory was founded on understanding the racialized experiences of Asian Americans in U.S. society and education and resisting the significant roles that White supremacy has played in shaping the educational experiences of Asian Americans (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). One of the motives for creating AsianCrit theory is the belief that Critical race theory disproportionately focuses on the experiences of racism in the context of Black and White populations (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Another motive for the creation of AsianCrit theory involves the belief that one universal theory, like Critical Race theory, does not honor the individualized experiences of non-Black communities of color, does not engage in the deeper and more nuanced analysis of these groups, and does not offer deeper inquiry into the experiences of other marginalized communities (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Finally, Critical race theory focuses on the racialization of Asian Americans; however, researchers have not developed a holistic and comprehensive understanding of the multiple and complex ethnic communities within the Asian American classification (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Critical Race theory also does not discuss the need for disaggregating the experiences of Asian Americans and how Asian Americans are typically grouped with their Pacific Islander and Desi counterparts (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The literature used to describe AsianCrit theory is often based on Asian American experiences; however, for this study, the AsianCrit framework will be used to shape and examine the experiences of other ethnic groups that are not Asian American but are a part of the APID classification. Seven Tenets To better understand how White supremacy has shaped the lives and experiences of Asian Americans, the AsianCrit framework focuses on seven tenets that capture the theory (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). 32 The first is called Asianization, entrenched in the reality that the classification of Asians in the United States only exists through the racist agenda of White supremacy (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Examples of this include the creation of laws and policies to dehumanize Asian Americans, such as the Chinese Exclusion Act, stereotypes such as the model minority myth, and racializing Asian Americans as a threat to American values portrayed through the perpetual foreigner stereotype (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The second tenet of AsianCrit theory involves focusing on the Asian American situation with White supremacy in a global context, including both individual levels and levels of policy and structure (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). To understand the experiences of Asian Americans today, a precise analysis must be made of the historical aspects of the Asian American diaspora and the global, economic, political, and societal factors that shaped the conditions faced by Asian Americans (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The third tenet of AsianCrit theory is reconstructive history that focuses on the reality of Asian American voices, experiences, and stories as invisible throughout the United States' history. The third tenet, reconstructive history, exists to reanalyze and incorporate the voices and contributions of Asian Americans within the context of the history of the United States (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The fourth tenet of AsianCrit theory is strategic antiessentialism which builds on the belief that race is a social construct and counters forms of White supremacy that view Asian Americans as a monolithic group within the United States (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). In addition, this tenet focuses on empowering Asian Americans as active participants in intervening against White supremacy by encouraging engagement with coalition building 33 and redefining racial categories to gain political power and influence towards advocacy, such as creating terms like APID (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The fifth tenet of AsianCrit theory, intersectionality, is focused on the full context of White supremacy and exploitation of the Asian American experience, such as imperialism, colonialism, sexism, and heterosexism, paired with other conditions faced by Asian Americans, such as racial identities and social identities like gender and sexual orientations and class identities (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). It is essential to recognize that AsianCrit theory focuses on the intersectionality experiences on many different levels, such as a systemic level, and in the everyday lives of Asian Americans. The sixth tenet of AsianCrit theory is labeled as story, theory, and praxis which is closely related to Critical Race theory’s emphasis on using story-telling and anecdotal experiences as valid forms of knowledge to enrich the epistemology of the experiences of people of color (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Ifitkar & Museus (2018) believe that stories inform theory and practice, practice is guided by theory, and practice can be used to create positive and transformative purposes. The seventh and final tenet of AsianCrit theory involves a commitment to social justice. This tenet is based on the commitment to ending all forms of oppression and exploitation experienced by the APID community and other communities of color (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). It should be noted that AsianCrit theory and its seven tenets exist collectively to advance the Asian American experience in the realm of education by providing a deeper understanding of the impact of racialized narratives created by the dominant parties and White supremacy (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). In addition, AsianCrit theory points out and 34 addresses the impacts of imperialism and colonialism and the trajectories that come out of those principles while pushing forward an agenda that links the past experiences and struggles of Asian Americans with contemporary problems and issues (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Connections to the Current Study In conclusion, some of the challenges faced by some communities involved in the APID classification have been discussed; however, these themes of oppression and white supremacy are not shared by all. Themes such as colonialism, the model minority myth, and the perpetual foreigner stereotype have impacted APID communities but have also impacted each group in their ways. AsianCrit theory will provide my study with a basis of analysis for constructing the purpose and goals of the culturally motivated student-run organization and an opportunity to bring forth discussion topics on what the APID classification means to the students within the organization. Creating a culturally motivated student-run organization could enrich students' culturally engaged campus environment, grounded in the earlier discussion on student organizations and their impact on students’ sense of belonging. More research needs to be done on APID student experiences in community colleges. This study hopes to provide a step to an ongoing journey toward inclusivity and liberation. The next chapter will discuss the research methodology that will be utilized in support of this movement. 35 Chapter 3: Research Methods This study uses a qualitative research method to understand better the impact of a student-run organization focused on culture for APID students on their sense of belonging on a community college campus. The qualitative data was collected through focused group discussions to find consistent themes and relative issues to their experiences as students and community members. Grounded in the work of Community Participatory Action Research methods, a qualitative study was more appropriate as opposed to a quantitative study because a qualitative study allows for research to be conducted in a natural setting, allows for an understanding of the complexities of the process taking place, and provides valuable insights that can be gained such as new topics emerging and rapidly changing information as well (Choy, 2014). Due to the lack of existing research, literature, and data on APID community college students and student-run organizations, a qualitative measure allowed for an assessment of underlying values, beliefs, and assumptions and also provided a platform for broad and open-ended questions which allowed for community members to raise concerns and questions about issues that mattered most to them which is not typically conceived through finite sets of data provided by quantitative research (Choy, 2014). Emerging issues and themes shared by the community members were then analyzed through the AsianCrit theoretical framework to assess individualized and specific implications for APID students at a community college. All focus group discussions were driven by the research questions:  How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory? 36  How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? Participatory Action Research Participatory Action Research (PAR) is a methodological approach that engages those affected by the investigated problem and research process by including them in the action and intervention of the problem (Rodriguez & Brown, 2019). Because positionality is linked to power, Littmann et al. (2021) argue that historical and traditional research often constructs a power dynamic that could be both productive and limiting. PAR tries to work against traditional research methods to center the research findings on the participants' lived experiences and contribute those findings to the epistemological process (Littman et al., 2021). PAR methodology acknowledges that in traditional research, researchers are often considered the experts due to their proximity and exposure to a university setting; however, PAR focuses on the unique insights provided by those involved in the research or local agents and, therefore, provides a collaborative and genuine research experience and findings (Rodriguez & Brown, 2019). PAR also aims to validate the knowledge brought forth by local community experiences and empower those communities to discover the truth in their participation (Rodriguez & Brown, 2019). Rodriguez & Brown (2019) suggests that PAR is also pedagogical since it has been designed to help the local agents and communities develop the knowledge and skills needed to discover and approach the problems they face in everyday life. Because PAR supports questioning, discovering, problem-solving, and constructing knowledge around relevant issues in everyday life, some of the beneficiaries of PAR include communities faced with historical disenfranchisement, poverty, racism, classism, sexism, and cultural bias 37 (Rodriguez & Brown, 2019). PAR principles and emphasis on involving all stakeholders in the research process sets the ideal foundation for the research conducted in this study, as some of the goals of addressing the problems faced by APID communities require full engagement of both researcher and local agents. The next chapter will discuss and utilize a type of PAR as this study's primary research method. The concepts associated with full integration between researchers and participants will also be explored. Community-Based Participatory Action Research Community-Based Participatory Action Research (CBPAR) is one applied research method grounded in PAR. This collaborative approach also involves all stakeholders throughout the research process that aims to address the concerns of people in the community (Burns et al., 2011). Some essential aspects of the CBPAR method include the community’s issue, the action or strategy, and how the research will support those actions or strategies (Burns et al., 2011). As previously mentioned, the power dynamic associated with traditional research could often lead to one party benefiting from the other party’s experiences in their everyday lives. Bradbury & Reason (2008) proposed that CBPAR includes five characteristics: emergent developmental form, human flourishing, practical issues, participation and democracy, and knowledge in action, which offer validity and increased quality of the research. Maiter et al. (2008) suggested that for CBPAR to operate, one of the core values and ethical concerns involves trust and reciprocity, which is respect expressed towards research relationships and exchanges. Examples include the language used by individual researchers and study participants, which should be grounded on parties communicating as equals (Maiter et al., 2008). 38 In terms of CBPAR, communities are often described as physical places, geographic spaces, or locations such as neighborhoods (Burns et al., 2011). CBPAR focuses on place- based strategies that find existing strengths of the community and builds upon that while examining and confronting the many issues faced within the community (Burns et al., 2011). Burns et al. (2011) recognized that those within the community have the best knowledge of these issues and strengths and potentially the types of solutions that will result in the most impactful experience for all project stakeholders. Therefore, a key element of CBPAR involves community engagement during the research process to utilize data collection methods such as focus groups and interviews (Burns et al., 2011). For this study, the community will be defined as a multidimensional representation of influences and impacts placed on the active participants of the APID club. On one level, the community is used to describe the active participants within the club. On another level, the community is used as a description for APID students on the campus of Queen Mary College. On a grander scale, the community will also be used to describe APID identities within the local physical environment of the college campuses. Community Engagement in Community-Based Participatory Action Research One of the core principles of the CBPAR framework is to ensure that the community members are active participants in the research and the development of the research outcomes to make changes within their communities (Burns et al., 2011). These principles require heavy contact between the community and researchers and can be analyzed through a participation continuum. The CBPAR participation continuum scale begins with researchers designing a question and having participants respond to those questions (Burns et al., 2011). The next level involves the community assisting in creating those 39 questions by identifying issues in hopes of creating intentional responses. The researchers conduct the research, analysis, dissemination, and intervention (Burns et al., 2011). A progressing level involves the community identifying issues, creating research questions, and generating solutions based on what is found by the community. Researchers continue to collect and analyze the data while developing interventions based on the community's suggestions (Burns et al., 2011). The final point on the CBPAR participation continuum is labeled community-led and controlled research which describes a situation where the community defines both the research questions and issues, plays an active role in developing and creating the data collection tools, assists in finding participants, collects data, analyzes the data, and collaborates with researchers in finding action plans and implementation of those action plans (Burns et al., 2011). In this study, community participation is essential to discovering answers to the project's research question. Emphasis and focus are placed on ensuring a collaborative culture within the APID club. Through transparency and reciprocity, the interactions within the APID club have followed the principles of a community-led project based on the participation continuum. The goal is to reach as close as possible to the latter half of the participation continuum, where all participants are equally responsible and represented in the research. 40 Method Site selection The research site for this study was a California community college that will be referred to as Queen Mary College (QMC), which is a pseudonym to protect the privacy of the college and its students. QMC’s mission, vision, and values are based on empowering students to be more active and ethical participants in learning and community, promoting and providing equitable and inclusive spaces for all students, and prioritizing diversity, equity, and inclusion with an agenda toward anti-racism and social justice (QMC, 2022). Queen Mary College has two campuses which will be referred to as Water Campus and Ocean Campus. Water Campus is physically located in the central city, while Ocean campus is located north of downtown. The campuses are about 6 miles from each other, and there is no information as to why there are two campuses under the Queen Mary College name. Queen Mary College is considered a Minority Serving Institution (MSI), which is committed to serving minority populations by committing its missions and day-to-day operations to serve the local neighborhoods and communities (Minority Serving Institutions Program, 2022). With over 50% of Queen Mary College students identified as Hispanic/Latino, QMC is considered a Hispanic-Serving Institution (HSI). In addition, QMC is also considered an Asian American, Native American, and Pacific Islander Serving Institution (AANAPISI). The classifications associated with QMC demonstrate the commitment and capacities that QMC holds regarding serving its student populations and communities. Nguyen (2022) explained that the U.S. Department of Education tasked AANAPISIs with the role of improving and expanding their capacity to serve Asian Americans and 41 Native American Pacific Islanders by focusing on increasing enrollment, retention, and college completion rates. Nguyen (2022) acknowledged that research on AANAPISIs is limited due to their short existence; however, it was found that AANAPISIs are the lowest funded out of all the MSIs (Minority Serving Institutions) but maintain some of the highest levels of eligibility. Finally, Nguyen (2022) suggests that the U.S. Department of Education should increase funding for AANAPISIs without the expense of other MSI. Understanding the different types of programs that QMC qualifies for highlights the significant role QMC plays in building and developing underserved populations and communities; however, it also highlights some of the inequities and challenges that come with the institutionalization of racial justice motives in the higher education space. For the academic year 2020-2021, QMC reported 34,463 students enrolled; 4,229 self-identified as Asian and Filipino, and 467 as Pacific Islanders (QMC, 2022). It is unclear why Asian and Filipino students were grouped yet disaggregated. From the data provided by QMC (2022), APID students make up about 14% of the student population at Queen Mary College. When analyzing the statistical data associated with college enrollment based on ethnicity/race, APID students are considered a minority at QMC. This may explain the need for existing programs and clubs focused on APID communities. City of Jacaranda To protect the identity of the college and its students, a pseudonym will be used to describe the city that both Queen Mary College campuses are physically located in, Jacaranda. According to U.S. Census Data (2022), Asians make up 12.8% of the population, Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islanders make up 0.6%, and 6.6% identified as two or more races in Jacaranda. Many sub-categories of the APID classification, such as 42 Vietnamese, Hmong, Japanese, Filipino, and Cambodian, make up the APID population in Jacaranda. Historically, ethnic enclaves such as Cambodia Town were built in Jacaranda as a refuge for many historically oppressed and displaced families and communities (Kim et al., 2013). Kim et al. (2013) found that over a third of all individuals living in Cambodia Town have a poverty rate of 16%. In addition, the Los Angeles Almanac (2020) found that Jacaranda and the cities surrounding Jacaranda house some of the largest Pacific Islander populations in California and the United States. It is important to note and understand the surrounding communities that QMC serves and how these enclaves exist uniquely to Jacaranda and the state of California. Although APID populations are considered the minority compared to other ethnic and racial groups, Jacaranda is home to some sub- categories of the APID classification that are the victims of the aggregation of APID data and some of the lowest performing, underrepresented, and marginalized populations. Participation Selection Participants were selected based on convenience sampling on multiple occasions and volunteered to participate as a member of the APID club. All initial club recruitment occurred during Queen Mary College's “Join a Club Day” events and other cultural celebrations such as the “Latinx Heritage Month Kick-off”. Recruitment took place in a format where I, as the club advisor, set up a table with multiple cultural artifacts and literature centered on APID culture. In addition to the artifacts, a large poster board with all flags representing APID countries was displayed with a flier connecting students to an online interest form. The interest form collected their names, emails, and student ID numbers, allowing them to self-identify whether they identify as an APID student. In addition, club participants were encouraged to invite peers who may be interested in 43 joining the APID club. It was evident in all communication and during tabling that the APID club is not exclusive to students who identify as APID. Data Collection Data was collected through a focus group discussion methodology both in-person and through a virtual conferencing program called Zoom. I recorded the meetings and transcribed the dialogue for accuracy and analysis. The focus group discussion methodology offered a platform for participants to share their perspectives and paradigms while linking participants’ perceptions with their sociocultural situations (Onyumba et al., 2018). Unlike one-to-one or group interviews, focus group discussions allow researchers to adopt the role of facilitator or moderator instead of the investigator, which offers a more consistent methodology with CBPAR (Onyumba et al., 2018). Confidentiality of the college and students was protected under the latest Institutional Review Board (IRB) protocols by respecting anonymity through pseudonyms. During the bi-weekly club meetings, focus group discussions will be conducted and centered on issues, topics, and points that community members decided were of interest. During the first club meeting, all participants were informed of the study's purpose and the focus group discussion process. They were asked for verbal consent to be recorded while having their identities protected via a pseudonym. This project consisted of a total of 5 in-person meetings and two meetings over video conferencing or zoom. Data Analysis After reviewing and transcribing the focus group discussion recordings, I replayed them to ensure that I had transcribed them accurately. After transcribing them, I compared the discussions and searched for recurring themes and critical terms. These themes were 44 filtered through the tenets associated with AsianCrit theory to highlight each community member's individualized experiences and each APID classification sub-category. I also searched for similarities and differences in how each member experienced the tenets associated with AsianCrit theory. Sense of Belonging Traditional research provides many ways to represent and quantify a sense of belonging; however, I am seeking emergent themes which allow for participants to identify and define what a sense of belonging means to them. As this is a qualitative study utilizing a decolonizing research methodology such as Community Based Participatory Action Research (CBPAR), I did not impose on what a sense of belonging should mean from the lens of a higher education professional or researcher. Instead, I am allowing the community members of this student-run organization to be active participants in the research process. Researcher Bias As a current employee of Queen Mary College, I am personally connected to the APID community as a staff representative. In addition, I identify as Chinese-Cambodian and attended a community college during the beginning stages of my trajectory through higher education. Given my affiliation with Queen Mary College and my identity as Chinese Cambodian, I attempted to control my researcher bias by ensuring that focus group discussions were not focused on Chinese Cambodians. In addition, follow-up questions and discussions posed during the focus group discussions-maintained relevance to the current topic and were not influenced by personal beliefs. Finally, I also shared with participants of my position in higher education and as a self-identified member of the APID community to discuss the positionality with which I am involved. 45 It must also be noted that the natural methodology of CBPAR requires active participation in developing research questions, topics, and activities from all stakeholders. To reiterate previous sections about CBPAR, there is a power dynamic in traditional research, and CBPAR attempts to minimize these power dynamics through reciprocity in the project's development. As an attempt to debunk attitudes towards me as an expert, I shared my positionality as a higher education professional, researcher or thesis writer, and staff member of QMC. I also ensured that the process of our focus discussion groups should be democratic and involve all community members. This was an attempt to reinvest the knowledge that I have accumulated and gained through my professional training, academic training, and personal experiences into a space of emergent community scholars, one of the benefits of CBPAR in action. Limitations One of the limitations of this study is that Queen Mary College (QMC) has two campuses, making it challenging to capture the experiences of the APID community at QMC. Both campuses are in different physical locations within Jacaranda, meaning they serve different communities. In addition, each campus had different staff, faculty, and leadership, which may influence campus climate and culture. A second limitation of the study was the institutionalization of student-run organizations at QMC. All student-run organizations required a club chartering process which involved the signing of club waivers, the creation of club rosters, and nominating one student to be an Inter Club Council (ICC) member. ICC members were required to participate in bi-weekly meetings with other ICC members throughout the QMC student organizations. In addition, all student clubs and organizations at QMC had to create a club constitution that consisted of nominating student leaders 46 within the group. Positions such as president, vice-president, treasurer, ICC representative, and secretary needed to be created in the early stages of chartering the club. This limitation removes the organic process of creating a community space and introduces a power dynamic among the group members. To hinder the impacts of this limitation, I reassigned the labels of these positions to more APID-centric themes and language. One limitation is the COVID-19 pandemic, which resulted in a higher enrollment of students in online courses. A higher enrollment rate of students in online teaching modalities resulted in fewer students walking through club recruiting events. Finally, the lack of disaggregation of APID student data made it difficult to truly analyze the need for a student-run organization focused on the cultural aspects of APID identity from an institutional perspective. In this next chapter, we will analyze the qualitative data collected through the CBPAR method and discuss the salient themes connected to AsianCrit theory through the voices of the Queen Mary College APID Club. 47 Chapter 4: Presentation of Data This study was driven by the following research questions:  How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi student participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory?  How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? This chapter will center on the co-creation experience of the Queen Mary College Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) club. It should be noted that this chapter does not follow data being collected in chronological order; instead, each section is divided into themes that materialized from the experience of creating the club and through the dialogue that was presented through group discussions. The initial section focuses on identifying student pseudonyms of some of the members that shared their thoughts during the data collection process. In the next section, the theme of creating the club and setting a foundation for the club and how factors such as institutionalization impacted that process. In the following section, the theme of attitudes toward APID identities at Queen Mary College is explored. This chapter is concluded by exploring the impact and concept of a sense of belonging and how it has been implicitly and explicitly described by the APID club. Throughout this chapter, I reflect heavily on my experiences as the club advisor and researcher to interpret the experience of using community-based participatory action research as a foundational methodology of research. 48 Student Pseudonyms In order to protect the identities of the participants involved in the study, each participant will be given a pseudonym. It should be noted that not all participants of the Queen Mary College APID club will be mentioned and only a few with key speaking roles will be shared. Since the APID club is rooted in cultural exploration and identities, only the self-identified cultural identity shared by the participant was recorded and shared in the table below. In a later section, gender roles and sexual orientation are also discussed; however, only gender identities Table 1: Pseudonyms of Participants Amy A self-identified female Samoan-Filipinx American Candice A self-identified female Filipinx American Jessica A self-identified female Cambodian Hmong American Natalie A self-identified female Korean Irish American Phillip A self-identified male Filipinx-American Rebecca A self-identified female Filipinx-American Randy A self-identified female Samoan Sally A self-identified female Filipinx-American Samantha A self-identified female Cambodian Mexican American Thomas A self-identified male Bangladeshi The Dichotomy of Institutionalization and Lived Experiences A prevalent theme throughout this study was balancing the factors of existing as an APID club and the expectations of the QMC’s Department of Student Life. The Department of Student Life has institutionalized student run-organizations on many levels: club positions, the implementation of club notes, the platform in which club communication 49 should take place, and the minimum number of students needed to charter a club. From the start of recruiting and creating a club to operating as a club such as creating club positions, there has been a constant, but slight tension between institutionalized expectations and the collective sentiments of the APID club; however, through unison and togetherness, the APID club was able to navigate and overcome these challenges as noted in the sections to follow. Chartering a Club and Crafting a Mission Statement The process of organizing and chartering a club involved gathering a minimum of 5 student names and student ID numbers as a part of the application for creating a club. In addition, a mission statement and club contract needed to be submitted. The challenge here was crafting a mission statement and club contract before fully developing the club culture and club identity. In order to begin the process of chartering the club, the following mission statement was established by me, the club advisor: The purpose of the organization shall be: A. To expand our knowledge of Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) Club B. To help students advance their organizational skills. C. To provide every member with a chance of becoming a leader on campus. D. To work together with other clubs and assist them with their events. E. To learn the techniques and advancements we will need in order to succeed in our profession. However, during one of our meetings at a much later time, a few members of the APID club brought up the mission statement as not being truly reflective of the goals and attitudes the club wanted to be associated with them. We discussed and found ways to 50 restate our purpose and goals as a club. Together, the new mission purpose for the APID club was modified to: “Our purpose is to provide a safe space for community, enrichment, and educational success within Asian Pacific Islander Desi cultures and identities through advocacy, service, and love.” The new mission shifted the focal point of the club towards fostering a sense of community, enriching each other's knowledge of APID cultures and customs, and finding ways for students to find educational success at Queen Mary College. In addition, the club wanted to establish norms and practices that involved advocacy, service, and operating through love. Establishing Club Positions and Norms Queen Mary College requires establishing specific leadership roles within each club: President, Vice-President, Secretary, Treasurer, and Interclub Council (ICC) Representative. The APID club navigated these requirements in a democratic fashion in which we held our election and club members were able to vote. One significant moment throughout this process was the election of the club president. There was a total of three candidates for the club president and each nominee delivered a speech to the group. As the final candidate finished their speech, all three candidates decided to deliver a shared speech to the group stating that they all have decided that they would rather share the role of president and serve as co-presidents because they all felt that they brought unique skills to the role and would rather operate through shared leadership. 51 This was a transformational incident for me as it showcased the significance and power bestowed on the APID club members. Although I as the club advisor symbolized the bridge between institutional expectations and the true ambiance of the club, the candidates felt comfortable enough to challenge the expectations by amplifying their voices together and bringing forth a solution that was more in line with what they wanted to do and how they wanted to exist as a group. Creating the Club The creation of the Asian Pacific Islander Desi Club at Queen Mary College was initiated through the Office of Student Life as part of an initiative to revamp the student life experience that unfortunately lost a lot of momentum during the pandemic. Queen Mary College began to emphasize the importance of focusing on students’ sense of mattering and belonging to provide an enriching holistic experience for students. The Office of Student Life noticed a decline in student participation and engagement in extracurricular activities. The director of student life offered an opportunity to start and advise a club focused on Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) students. In the past, there have been clubs focused on Filipinx identities, Pacific Islander identities, and other cultural identities; however, there has never been a club focused on APID. One of the driving forces for creating an APID club versus separate clubs for each individual APID category revolved around club funding, representation, and the APID voice in spaces of coalition building and collaboration. A question that came into mind was how our institution can respect and support the different identities within APID yet encourage the club identity to be grounded in the aggregation of all APID cultures and identities. 52 Some of the rules enforced by Queen Mary College’s Office of Student Life include ensuring that there are at least 10 QMC students via their student identification number and emails on the roster before the club can become chartered, a written mission statement, and club roles/positions to be declared before chartering the club. In addition, club communication and enrollment into a club are only recognized through software created by QMC under the pseudonym Queen’s Engagement. It is critical to acknowledge the push and pull factors involved between the institutionalization of student life and clubs and then the genuine nature of creating community space within the APID club. This will be discussed in detail in a further section. Recruiting Although this project was designed to be student-driven, the beginning stages relied heavily on me as the club advisor to recruit and represent the APID club to the student body. One of the primary methods of recruitment involved tabling at QMC’s Club Fair days where multiple student life clubs had the opportunity to decorate a table and recruit students on a busy school day during the Fall 2022 semester. In total, I attended three of these club fair days. Although the club fair is offered on both of QMC’s campuses, I was only able to attend and table at the primary campus due to availability and scheduling conflicts. Another method of recruiting involved accessing the existing database of students who have expressed interest in APID initiatives in the past. In addition to students that voluntarily signed up for APID newsletters, emails were collected from a list of students that participated in an academic program under the pseudonym of Energy, a program designed to support Asian and Pacific Islander students to intertwine English with cultural elements surrounding Asian and Pacific Islander identities. 53 Tabling The APID club table was decorated to represent the many different identities included in the APID classification. The center of the table consisted of a large board with the letters “QMC APID” on the top. The border of the board was lined with miniature flags from each country represented in the APID classification. In addition, a QR code was placed at the center of the board for students to scan and submit their personal information to be contacted for future meetings and events. Finally, artificial flowers, hand fans, literature focused on APID people, and APID-influenced candies were scattered across the table as decorations. The most typical interactions I encountered involved students approaching the table with questions regarding what APID means. My follow-up response would be describing how APID encompasses a lot of different cultures and countries, and I would then ask if they identified as APID and if they see their cultural origins represented on the miniature flags below. Ultimately, it was up to the students to scan the QR code and input their information to be contacted again about future club events. The data collection process was not created or administered at this time, but speaking anecdotally, there were three themes grounded in the responses I received from students when talking about starting an APID club: 1. APID students finally have an organization dedicated to them 2. There should be more discussion about what makes APID sub-categories different, but similar to each other through shared values, cultures, and traditions 3. QMC needs to do more to make sure APID students are represented when discussing student equity efforts 54 Through the interactions of recruiting, there was a feeling of excitement, unity, and relief. After navigating times and days that created a space for accessibility, consistent meeting times were determined and at the time, only online zoom meetings were facilitated. Foundations of Club Creation through Club Members: Why Join the APID Club? Our first meeting as the APID club consisted of about 10 students from different backgrounds and educational pathways/goals. After students were asked to share their names, majors, and most closely identified ethnic origin, students were then asked to answer a few questions shared by me. The tables below outline the questions that were presented and the answers that were received by the participants: 55 Table 2: Motives for Joining APID Club “Why did you decide to join the APID Club?” Themes: Community, Support, and Cultural Enrichment “I want to get to know people in the Asian Community. I have a big Asian family, but I don't have any Asian friends or classmates, or coworkers I know or hang out with. I would like to get to know my community at school.” “I joined APID to learn about the resources that are available to me, as a southeast Asian. I also joined to meet people who are also southeast Asian.” “I decided that I wanted to center my experiences as an Asian American in California and see if other peers have similar experiences. I found that LBCC lacks a sense of community for our students that is focused on APID identities, cultures, and experiences. I hope to be a part of uplifting this community.” “I first found out about this club during club rush, and I signed up. It's my first semester in college and I want to find people who I can connect with. I'm very shy so I also want to put myself out there.” “I want to join this club because I want to meet other students from LBCC in hopes to make friendships and connections throughout the school year.” “I decided to join the APID club to share something in common and experiences as an Asian American as well as to find a community on campus.” “I wanted to be somewhere where I can feel connected to my community.” “I wanted to join because I wanted to have a community where I might share similar experiences.” “Get more involved with what LBCC has to offer, find community & support with other APIDs.” 56 A few prevalent themes emerged through the answers provided by the students in the APID Club: community, support, and a curiosity about one’s own ethnic identity and how it relates to the ethnic identities around them. The motives and reasoning behind why the participants would be willing to join our space would be the driving force behind our club identity and coordination. Identifying Community As the students in the APID club began to express their motives in seeking and creating a sense of community, the significance of operationalizing what community meant to us as a group became apparent. Different descriptions and definitions of the community were outlined by the group in the table below: 57 Table 3: Defining Community Question Responses What does community mean to you? “When it comes to the community our group holds many different perspectives. However, one common ground we all hold is that we hold something personal and more intimate in common. Some of us say this word holds deep meaning through the connections formed within. Some of us view it through the common views and intense support that is provided amongst the community.” “With regards to building community, a big one is support within the community and upholding others within. A familial-like connection is one that helps, even if it is not by blood. It allows that uplifting action with a common relation. Whether that be thoughts, looks, or any other means of building those connections. There is a commonality to be found linking each person together, a goal that helps bring each other together, one which they can share as well.” “Community is the people that you share characteristics with. Community is the people that show up for me and I show up for them. Community is shared experiences and mutual support through actions and listening.” The APID club describes the community as a space that fosters support, uplifts each other, supports, and builds connections. The definition of a community is subjective and can be defined in many ways; however, it is also clear to see that the APID club members were seeking a place for growth, safety, and connection. As this project is grounded in community-based participatory action research, it was critical to involve the members of the group as much as possible. This includes keeping questions open-ended and up to the interpretation of the group but also engaging in conversation that involves both my thoughts as the club advisor while intertwining those beliefs with the sentiments of the group. 58 Cultural Artifact Activity After meeting for several weeks, the APID club decided that it was time to host a holiday potluck in which students had the opportunity to bring a dish that is a part of their culture to share amongst the group. In addition to the food, students were asked to bring cultural artifacts to share. This activity was originally an assignment I completed as a graduate student which inspired me to bring forth and present it as an activity for the participants of this group. This experience was an opportunity for me to reinvest my experiences and knowledge into the process of community building within the APID club. Although the term artifact was used, the cultural artifact could range from clothing, pieces of art, instruments, toys, stories, memories, or anything that the student would like to call an artifact and share about. This activity allowed students to provide a narrative behind the significance of the items they brought and how they related to their lived experiences as self-identified APID students. After participants shared their cultural artifacts, at least two other students were required to share a brief response which could be a question, comment, affirmation, or thought. This practice encouraged a supportive space and provided an opportunity for students to relate their experiences. In addition, it was an attempt to foster an environment where there is more awareness regarding our identities as APID and emphasizing those cultural roots in our existence today. In the following sections, I will highlight a few of the presentations shared amongst the group. Samantha’s Share Samantha was the first participant to volunteer and share her cultural artifact. Samantha: Today I brought my Bau Cua Ca Cop. It is a board game that has 6 different animals or items and three dice. During family gatherings or during new 59 year celebrations, everyone would either bet money, coins, or beans and choose which animal or items they think the dice will land on. This is a gambling game, but I brought it because it is easy to learn and brings all my family together during celebrations. It brings people together and makes people laugh, that’s something that I love about this game. Jessica: Thank you for sharing. When I first heard about your share, it reminded me of a story that my mom would always tell me about how when she lived in the Philippines, people would bet money on spiders fighting. It really makes me wonder why gambling is such a big thing for Southeast Asians. Something that stood out to me in this experience was the fact that two students with different cultures and backgrounds but with similar geographic origins were both able to relate to familial customs and traditions. When Samantha mentioned that her values included a game that brought people together, it resonated with an experience that Jessica had with her family which symbolized a significant element to the group's operationalization of community which is grounded in a sense of togetherness. Alex’s Artifact As a part of community-based participatory action research, it was critical for me to be involved and engage in the activities facilitated by the group. After a few students participated, I decided to volunteer to go next as an effort to share my story and model the shared space that we have together. Provided is a transcription of what I shared with the group: Alex: Initially, I wanted to share something cool like an instrument or piece of artwork, but instead, I am bringing you all a bag of ramen. I know it sounds strange, 60 but ramen literally saved my family’s life. You’re probably thinking that it saved our lives because it is seen as a cheap meal, which it did save us in that way, but that is not what I mean. You see, my family is from Battambang, Cambodia and my parents are survivors of a point in history when the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia shortly after the Vietnam War. From 9 years old to 11 years old, my mom worked in a labor camp where they planted rice with my aunts and uncles where people were dying every day from starvation. When they escaped the labor camps, they had to travel through the jungles of Cambodia into a refugee camp in Thailand. During this time, many refugees were harassed and assaulted and in order to protect themselves, they had to lie about their origins, never question authority figures, and maneuver through dangerous terrains. My mom used to tell me stories of how as she was traveling through the jungle, she would see ramen packets on the floor, and what that meant was a warning from a previous group to inform others that there is a landmine in that location, and they should watch their step. Even in times of hardship and survival, there was always an emphasis on community and helping others. Ramen bags saved my family's life and I always think about the story of struggle, sacrifice, and community and how it relates to my existence in the spaces I am in today. I am recognizing a consistent theme the more I engage with other APID folks here at QMC, a theme of respecting our roots and how they are grounded in this need to survive. I am hoping that by focusing on those experiences and exploring our own cultures, we can begin to move from needing to survive to needing to thrive. 61 Sarah: I love the complexity of the backstory behind something as simple as ramen. Like you go to the store and see a bag of ramen for 99 cents and think nothing of it but in your share, you talked about how it saved your family, and it just made me really emotional. At this point, Sarah had to take a moment and pause as she began to cry. The experience of watching one of the participants open about their shared personal story of struggle highlighted the complexities of survival and how it materializes in different yet similar ways in our experiences. Sarah: Same thing with me, my parents bought a lot of ramen because we were poor and it’s really amazing to see how something so small or simple that we forget every day really brought so many people together. I think it’s crazy that we talk about history so much in school settings, but there is another side to all of the history behind us and we don’t get the chance to learn about it or share it like this. Thomas: This activity really brings me back to elementary school show and tell. But it is more meaningful because, in college classes, you don’t learn about the history of the Khmer Rouge or the history of the Jeeps in the Philippines. And the fact that we can all share a piece of our history on a deeper level…I mean growing up in Bangladesh when Bangladesh just found its independence, my grandpa was a freedom fighter. We were often targeted by the Pakistani army and a lot of people were kidnapped. I remember that we had to stay in very harsh conditions. My mom and dad escaped and I feel like I can really relate to [Alex] now that he shared this story. I feel like we are a lot closer. I never knew that I can relate to someone else with these types of problems. 62 Sally: Thank you everyone for being vulnerable. I really want to get to know every single one of you more now. And just being a person sitting in this chair, in this space, like your existence already means a lot to me and I want to say that I appreciate you all, even though we just met today. This sharing and experience gave some of the students the opportunity to share narratives about how they have experienced the world and how they have witnessed the struggle of a generation that has come before them. It was mentioned to Thomas that these stories and narratives would never materialize in the traditional classroom setting and there is a greater appreciation for each other as a community through this experience. To emphasize that our ethnic backgrounds within the group have such different origins, yet our struggle and relationship with sacrifice were so alike stressed the reality of shared experiences among many APID identities. Many participants had the opportunity to share their cultural artifacts and I can conclude that this experience brought all of us closer as a group. There was more understanding and respect for each other through our shared experiences and through our differences in culture as well. One key point of the meeting was when Sally thanked everyone for their vulnerability and expressed her gratitude and appreciation for everyone’s existence. This was an incredibly powerful experience for me as the club advisor as this activity and experience showed me the significance of bringing one’s own experience and lessons into different spaces to see what kind of conversation and dialogue can flourish. Attitudes towards APID identities at QMC 63 A few weeks after the cultural artifact activity, club meetings became more consistent, and the group began to grow from 10 members to about 20 members. During one of the in-person meetings, we created an agenda focused on event planning and seeking community engagement. In addition, this meeting had the theme of celebrating the Lunar New Year as an attempt to engage in cultural enrichment. For this meeting, I decided to bring a collection of Chinese dishes and a student asked me why I decided to go with Chinese food to which I replied: Alex: Chinese food is very important to me. Chinese food always reminds me of my dad because when he came to the United States, he experienced a lot of racism and didn’t speak any English, but he noticed that a lot of Americans loved Chinese food. He saw it as an opportunity for survival because he knew how to cook Chinese food. Growing up and watching him work 12-hour days and work in conditions that required hard labor, I respected my dad for his work ethic and always appreciated it when he came home with a box of beef and broccoli or kung pao chicken. About 7 years ago, I was on a road trip with my dad, and it has always been hard to communicate with him because of his broken English and my broken Chinese. I asked him about his childhood and what he wanted to be when he grew up. He laughed at me and said that he never had a dream job because he has always lived in reality; he didn’t have a choice. My rebuttal to him was to just say an occupation if he was forced to choose and he told me that his dream job would be to just do good for others. That made me think a lot about all the sacrifice, suffering, and hardship many immigrant parents must go through to give the next generation a chance in the future. It makes me think about why I love what I do in education, but why am I 64 sharing this now? Because I would never have the chance to talk about my dad in business meetings, in any of my classes, or even with my friends. With you all, I feel safe, I feel understood, I feel like I can be myself, and I feel loved. I hope we can remember this type of energy and space when we plan our events and community service activities. In a lot of APID cultures, we never talk about mental health, or feelings, or even say we love each other. My dad has never said he loved me, but I know he does because he expresses it through Chinese food. Which is why I brought Chinese food for you all today. I don’t know the relationship you all have with your parents but based on what many of you have shared in the past, I know that we are the product of a lot of suffering and sacrifice. I want to remind everyone that through our work, we can dream for them, we can make their struggle and sacrifice worth it, and we can make them proud. My dad does not know about the APID club, but I know that he would be proud of all of us. Because through his dream, I know we will do good for others. At this point of the meeting, students thanked me for my story, and I asked the group if anyone had any questions or comments before we dove into our event and activities planning. Sarah: Thank you so much for opening to us about this. Thank you for bringing us a part of yourself that is so close to home and family. I can really relate to what you said when you mentioned how your dad noticed that people love Asian food but were still racist to him because he is Asian. I feel that society selects what they like from Asian cultures: whether that is anime, our food, our music, or our style, but they don’t respect our identities. 65 Natalie: To add to that, I feel that Asian women are hypersexualized in American culture. We are seen as nerdy or submissive and that somehow makes us sexualized and if not, we are exotic or foreign or fetishized. On top of that, people love to take from our culture without respecting our culture, I think it’s called cultural appropriation. At this time, I noticed that although I had an agenda set forth based on event planning and cultural enrichment, I wanted to pose a question to the group as it became apparent that the energy of the group now was going towards meaning making and discussing experiences at a deeper level. Alex: It sounds like we all have a lot to say about this subject. I know we wanted to focus on future events and activities, but I want to focus our discussion on a theme that I am seeing here. How do you all feel about APID specifically at QMC? One of the first comments made after this question involves a lack of unity and community among APID students. Rebecca: I feel like when I walk around campus, I see a lot of Asian people and Pacific Islanders. I think our campus is pretty diverse, but at the same time, I don’t see any groups or initiatives that focus on bringing us together. This APID club is the first time I heard of us getting together, which is why I joined. Christina: Yeah, I agree with Rebecca. We always discuss how there are so many different cultures within APID, but I don’t really see us represented by our professors, staff, or even through our clubs sometimes. I mean I do see a lot of Asians teaching our science or math courses, but I really wish we were more visible on campus. 66 Randy: I definitely see what you both are saying about representation, but I feel bad for saying this, but I feel that even then, only Eastern Asians are represented in our faculty, like where are all the Pacific Islanders? I see so many Pacific Islanders on campus, but not on the other side of the classrooms. Alex: Randy, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being honest with us. I just want to remind you that there is no need to apologize and that you are in a safe space. I am glad that you are comfortable enough to share your honest thoughts here. It became apparent that many participants within the club shared similar sentiments regarding the campus environment at Queen Mary College: there is a lack of representation for APID students, but APID student presence and visibility within the student body are in abundance. Although there are many APID students on campus, there was a lack of institutionalized making of space for the community until the APID student club was established. At this moment, I recognized the significance of creating these community spaces for students to share their thoughts and perspectives on campus. During our dialogue, Randy apologized for sharing his honest thoughts to which I affirmed his perspective and reminded him of the safe space he is in. This experience made me reflect on whether these thoughts and sentiments would have ever been shared in other spaces. Even within the classification of APID, there are apparent differences in sentiments regarding representation. On one side, students feel that Eastern Asian staff and faculty are represented through science and mathematics instructions, and on the other side, Pacific Islander students share that they are not represented at all. These differences in lived 67 experiences highlight the significance of how APID identities are often aggregated though they undergo different challenges in life and in academia. Model Minority Myth One key difference mentioned in Christina and Randy’s statement about representation in specific areas of academia lead our conversation to the model minority myth. The model minority myth materialized in many of the previous conversations we had as a group, but this is the first time that we engaged in speaking about it explicitly. Rebecca: Not even talking about just what it is like on campus, but what it is like in general: I feel like APID people, specifically Eastern Asian people are seen as stereotypical doctors, lawyers, nerds, or scientists. But it isn’t even like that for all of us. It sucks because people just think that all Asians have it good or we are all rich or something. Ever since Crazy Rich Asians came out. Jessica: Yeah, I can’t remember what class it was, but I remember learning about the model minority myth. Something about how white people wanted to use Asians as a scapegoat so other races and cultures can be blamed and white people can say that Asians are successful so it’s not a racist problem, I don’t know if that makes sense. It was at this time that I interjected into the conversation to reinvest some of the knowledge that I have gained as a graduate student. Alex: That does make sense Jessica. You hit it right on the nose. Something that I learned in my Asian American studies class during my undergraduate studies is the concept of the model minority myth. Basically, one of the factors of why this myth exists is because it was convenient for oppressive populations to cluster minorities together to create conflict among them. In many Asian cultures, there is an emphasis 68 on respecting authority, not questioning your elders, and collectivism. This means that we emphasize sacrificing our own independence for the greater good of our community or families. Again, this is not a universal truth for all APID folks, but it is a common theme across many cultures. Some would argue that this made Asians an easy target. In short, they wanted to create a way where they can say, “We aren’t racist, if the Asians are minorities and immigrants and they’re doing well in society, that proves that we are not racists towards non-white minorities”. Obviously, there are a lot of flaws in this way of thinking but fast forward to society today, and I think we can all agree that it is problematic. Sally: Thanks for sharing that, Alex. I really relate to what you said about staying silent and respecting our elders. Growing up, I was always taught to just listen to my parents and to avoid getting in trouble… my parents just wanted me to do well in school and not cause any problems or bring any attention. And now that I am older, sometimes I find it hard to speak up or advocate for myself. I still must be super respectful to my parents, even when I don’t agree with them. At this time, a lot of head nods as an act of validation and agreement filled the room. Many students responded with “me too”. Rebecca: Thanks, Sally. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Like, I feel that in different ways too. Like when I am with a group of friends, both Asian and not, stereotypical Asian jokes get brought up all the time and I just laugh with them. Like we are seen as smart or destined to go to UCs (University of California) or Cal States and since I go to a community college, I just stay quiet. I don’t feel like I have the courage to say anything about it and I wonder if it is because I am shy or I don’t 69 know. I guess I am just used to minimizing myself to make others more comfortable. It became apparent to me that many members of the APID club have encountered a lot of similar experiences as it pertains to stereotypes among the APID population, and some have had the opportunity to learn of the origins of those stereotypes in some of their classes at QMC. However, this dialogue also highlighted how many students did not learn of the model minority and brought higher value to this conversation as it invited students to bring their own background and knowledge into the realm of academia as topics of discussion. At this point of the meeting, our space was focused heavily on the experiences of a specific APID population, and a turning point occurred to recognize some other challenges faced by many APID populations within the group. Internal Classism and Proximity to Whiteness Throughout the meeting, personal anecdotes and stories of experiencing racism as an APID person were shared. One turning point of the meeting involved a Pacific Islander student sharing their thoughts. Randy: I don’t mean to go against what everyone is saying here, and I don’t want to say that I am talking about every single Asian culture here. But sometimes I feel like Asians and Pacific Islanders should not be put in the same category. Like sometimes I feel some Asian groups are pretty racist or think they're better than Pacific Islanders. Sally: Randy, I totally agree with you. I am Southeast Asian and I feel the same way. There are different levels of Asians and I totally feel it. It’s like Eastern Asians like Chinese, Korean, and Japanese are all celebrated as these stereotypical Asians, but 70 even interacting with those cultures, it feels like sometimes they think they’re better than Southeast Asians (Cambodians, Vietnamese, Hmong, etc.). I mean I don’t know the statistics or whatever but it seems like the wealthier Asians come from the East and from my own experience, most Southeast Asians I know are living in poverty. I mean even if you look at those countries, a lot of Southeast Asian areas are still looking like third-world countries. Rebecca: Yeah, going back to my comment about the racism I experience within Asian groups. It’s like some Asians are proud of the stereotypes associated with Asians but those only apply to certain Asian groups. No one looks at a Cambodian and thinks about the same stereotypes like being wealthy and becoming a doctor. I think it’s really messed up that even within APID, there’s that competition or people thinking they're better than others. Amy: You know, when I first joined this club, I thought it was going to be another group where we only focus on Asians and not so much Pacific Islanders. I wanted to see if we can branch out and have our own Pacific Islander club because I am tired of us being put together since we are so different. But being here and talking to you all, I think we are more similar than I thought. Yes, we are very different, but I never thought I would learn about some of the same struggles we have. But something I want to say is that Pacific Islanders and Southeast Asians tend to have darker skin than Eastern Asians, does that have something to do with it? Alex: Have you all heard about a concept called the proximity to whiteness? Basically, things that are closely associated with whiteness tend to be seen as better in today’s society. But throughout history, there have been examples of how 71 whiteness was seen as better than Blackness. Examples include whitening make-up or creams and concepts around anti-Blackness. The conversation around classism and the proximity of whiteness for some APID groups brought forth the current attitudes of students within the APID club. It created a safe space for students to say what was on their minds and express their lived experiences. This was critical in building authenticity and naturally as we were working towards a sense of community and belonging as a group based on our shared mission statement and goals. Equity Discussion and Coalition Building As we began to discuss more the struggle of classism within APID, we also began to discuss how APID identities and experiences are viewed by groups outside of the APID community. Candice: I am a part of a few other student organizations like ASB (Associated Student Body) and I am usually in the room when we talk about some of the initiatives that QMC is focusing on. Something that they are really focusing on right now is persistence and retention. Alex: For the folks who don’t know what that is, persistence and retention are ways that QMC measures student success by focusing on the percentages of students that enroll from Fall to Spring and enroll again in the following year. It is one of the many metrics used by the institution to measure student success. Candice: Thanks, Alex. Yeah, it just feels awkward when I am in the room because we talk a lot about persistence and retention for Black/African American students, Latinx students, and Pacific Islander students, but I feel that it adds to the narrative 72 that Asian students are not struggling because they are doing “better” in these areas. Rebecca: I don’t think QMC is trying to do this, but by focusing on that, it feels like they are othering us and putting us closer to white students and ultimately feeding into the stereotypes that we talked about today. Candice: Yeah, and I am all about working together and unity which is why I think we should work together with other clubs and groups on campus to show that we are with them and support them instead of making it seem like we are successful, and they are not. Alex: I think that is a great idea, Candice. I think we can focus some of our efforts on coalition building and supporting other campus groups. Amy: Yeah, I think it is important to state that even though the numbers say we are doing well in certain categories, it doesn’t mean that we are all experiencing that type of success. Maybe since we are so large, it's easier or more convenient for them to put us all together. One key component of this dialogue is centered on how the quantitative measures of student success brought forth and utilized by Queen Mary College as significant evidence for equity gaps do not always fall in line with the lived experiences of the students that Queen Mary College serves. Candice shares about persistence and retention as two key aspects that illustrate students' success in which APID students are excelling; yet both Rebecca and Candice share that the values placed on these measures contribute to a sense of othering or leaving APID students out of the discussions of struggle and equity. In addition to not all APID groups being accurately reflected in these statistics, these values 73 also contribute to themes such as the model minority myth and steer away the focus on providing spaces and resources to APID students. One impactful moment through this dialogue on me as the club advisor was how club members still wanted to focus their attention and efforts on building community with other cultural groups and clubs to promote a better understanding of the true lived experiences of everyone at Queen Mary College. Operationalizing a Sense of Belonging The following section will discuss how a sense of belonging was operationalized within the APID club. Although many conversations emerged about a sense of belonging throughout the journey of creating a club and engaging in club meetings/activities, there was only one occurrence where a sense of belonging was discussed explicitly. This section will be divided into two parts: explicit discussion about a sense of belonging and implicit illustrations of a sense of belonging. Explicitly Defining a Sense of Belonging This next section will analyze the discussions held on the explicit operationalization and descriptions following what a sense of belonging means to the APID club at Queen Mary College. Before the start of a club meeting, I asked the club members to start thinking about what a sense of belonging means to them and that we will discuss their thoughts at our next meeting. Please see the table below for guiding questions and responses: 74 Table 4: Defining a Sense of Belonging Questions Responses What does a sense of belonging mean to you? Sense of belonging means to be part of a community where I am not judged for who I am but rather, I am able to relate to others by feeling safe and heard. A sense of belonging to me means being a community and being with people that you can be yourself with. Understanding and relating towards others as well as growing individually. A sense of belonging means that you feel included and that you’re comfortable enough to be who you are around either a person, place or thing. I personally think it also includes different forms of careness for one another along with it being tied to your personality. To be able to feel safe and comfortable in an environment. That you don’t feel distant as if you’re an outsider. A sense of belonging means having a space in which you feel comfortable to express yourself without fear of judgment. Through having this community that you share values, beliefs, and experiences with, you feel seen. How has joining the APID club impacted your perception of a sense of belonging? It has helped me understand that there are others who relate to me in terms of culture, which has impacted me into feeling a sense of belonging. APID club has impacted me in so many different ways. Joining the club was one of my best decisions in life because we’re like a family and I can be open and be myself. Joining the LBCC APID Club has impacted my perception of a sense of belonging by opening up and giving me a chance to be vulnerable around my community or people in general. It really showed me that it’s okay to meet new people and build new bonds. I felt how I described what a sense of belonging is. I also felt welcomed which is what I also believe a sense of belonging is. I was under the impression that building bonds with people takes time. Doing so takes vulnerability, which takes a lot of 75 energy, especially if you don’t know if you’ll receive that same energy back. Joining APID has helped me reframe my view on a sense of belonging. Every person, from the advisor to the members, came with the intention to build relationships and bond with new people. This made it easy for me to express myself in a space where I feel valued. When asked to explicitly identify a sense of belonging, there seem to be centralized themes on capturing elements of community, feeling heard, safety to be oneself, and the potential for growth through similarities and differences. At this time, I wondered if a sense of belonging was something that the group experienced and would therefore be able to describe, or if these descriptions were preconceived through their lived experiences and those ideologies were brought upon the club. This question is explored in the following section. When asked directly and explicitly whether the APID club had an impact on the member’s perception of sense of belonging and their own sense of belonging, members shared that finding a sense of belonging was centered on creating a space that accepts and fosters vulnerability, helping members feel valued, and finding other people who can relate in terms of culture. Through the activities and discussions, I feel that a sense of belonging was both created and fostered through the club’s commitment to each other and the community. In addition, there are ways that a sense of belonging could exist without clear definitions or identifying factors which will be explored in the following section. Implicit Illustrations of a Sense of Belonging In this section, implicit illustrations serve as more of my reflections as the club advisor and researcher that could only be achieved through practicing community-based participatory action research (CBPAR). Being in the club, guiding the club, leading and engaging in dialogue with the club, and crafting the experience with the club reflected a 76 sense of belonging that heavily involved a sense of community. Implicitly, a sense of belonging is used almost interchangeably with a sense of community within the APID club. One example of this could be found in a previous section when the community was defined, and club goals were set that centered on creating that community for club members. In addition, examples of the implicit impact on a sense of belonging can be found in some of the activities facilitated as a group. 77 Mask Presentations Through one of the foundations of CBPAR, I attempted to reinvest one of my professional and academic experiences through an activity with the club members. Members engaged in creating a physical mask and were invited to be creative in designing and decorating a face mask. On the outside of the mask, members were tasked to draw words or pieces of art that symbolized how they believed the world perceived them and on the inside of the mask, they were tasked to draw words or pieces of art that symbolized how they perceived themselves. Sally: So I was not really sure how to go about this, because I kind of don't know how other people perceive me. Because I kind of act differently depending on who I am with. I kind of focus on the stereotypes and the negative things people might see against me. The biggest one is that I am Asian. Like people just see me generally as Asian and think I am Chinese, but on the inside of my mask, I wrote that I am Filipinx. On the inside, I wrote that I am fragile, helpless, innocent, an easy target, and a little girl. I feel like I can’t stand up for myself, but I am independent, I had to be growing up. Even my own family sees me as this small girl and something that needs to be protected. But I know I am really strong, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get taken advantage of all the time. With all of that, there is another part of my identity which is that I am bi-sexual. I never came out like that to anyone before, even my family. Thomas: Thank you for your share. You know, you said a lot of negative stuff about how you describe yourself, but I don’t see that at all. Especially within our 78 community, you’re really a treat to have around and you make me feel so comfortable. Alex: I would like to say my two cents… You started off your presentation by saying you do not know how others perceive you, well let me tell you: Sally you are smart, wise, funny, exceptional, warm, powerful, strong, a leader, a game-changer, but most importantly, you are Sally, so keep being you. A few other comments and responses affirming Sally’s existence within the club and at Queen Mary College were made by other club members. At this point, it was moving to see that the club has evolved into a space where Sally is comfortable enough to share such intimate parts of her experience not only at Queen Mary College but through existing as a human being. When Sally shared that she was unsure about how others view her and went on to share how she views herself, there was an apparent conflict between the perceptions of others and her perception of self. Through the feedback and responses from myself and other members, the APID club shared how we saw Sally and reminded her that she belongs in our group and in our lives on a multitude of levels. In addition, Sally felt comfortable enough to share a part of her intersecting identity that she had never shared with anyone else: her sexual orientation. This was a powerful moment for me as I recognized that the space and community, we created together was strong enough for a member to feel comfortable enough to reveal a piece of themselves that they have never shared before. Sally’s share was one of the many examples of students reaching a level of comfort to bring their lived experiences into the spaces that we have created. Based on my experiences and observations as the club advisor, the implicit definition of a sense of belonging within the APID club include: 79 1. Being in a place where one is comfortable enough to express vulnerability and where they can be themselves without judgment 2. Existing in a safe environment where all their identities and perceptions of the world are valued and respected 3. Being a part of a group where one could share ideas and feel supported The significance behind separating explicit and implicit definitions of a sense of belonging involves finding meaning and value behind both methods of identifying and describing a principle grounded in how one interprets one’s place in space. In this study, students were given the opportunity to make meaning of a sense of belonging directly, but also displayed how a sense of belonging could exist through simply existing. 80 Chapter 5: Discussion of Findings and Implications The purpose of this study was to contribute to the existing literature on the impact of student run-organizations and analyze the racialized experiences of APID students at a California community college through the lens of AsianCrit theory. Primarily, the community-based participatory action research method was used in this study as it aimed to find solutions for a community by joining the community and working with them directly throughout the study. This study was driven by the following research questions:  How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi student participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory?  How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? The following chapter reviews the findings of this study in detail. The following table summarizes how these research questions were answered utilizing the findings of this study: 81 Table 5: Exploring Research Questions How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory? The findings in this study captured through participants’ qualitative narratives found that lived experiences circulated around tenets of AsianCrit such as Asianization, strategic antiessentialism, and story, theory, and praxis. How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? The findings in this study captured through participants’ qualitative narratives found that the co- creation and participation in an Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) student-run organization impacted the perception and attitudes on a sense of belonging for the participants in the APID club by contributing to the operationalization of a sense of belonging and emphasizing the significance of cultural identity and community. Discussion of Findings In this section, I summarize the qualitative data collected throughout my research and analyze my findings through the lens of AsianCrit theory. AsianCrit theory is made of up seven tenets designed to advance the Asian American experience in the realm of education and attempts to provide a deeper understanding of racialized narratives produced by dominant parties and White supremacy (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Of the seven tenets, the tenets of Asianization, strategic antiessentialism, and story, theory, and praxis are all intertwined and apparent in the experiences shared by the members of the Queen Mary College Asian Pacific Islander Desi Club. Through this study, racialized perspectives on both personal, academic, and professional levels were collected and documented to highlight the lived experiences of APID students at a California community college. 82 Asianization: A Consequence of Existing Asianization is described by AsianCrit as a tenet used to provide a better understanding of pertinent themes surrounding how the classification of Asians only exists as a racialized category constructed from White supremacy (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). The data collected throughout this study could be summarized through three stereotypes often faced by some of the subcategories within the APID classification: the model minority myth and the perpetual foreigner stereotype. Asianization: Model Minority Myth Chen et al., (2021) describe the model minority myth as the image of Asians as a hardworking and successful minority that has overcome hardship, oppression, and discrimination. These beliefs were prevalent and mentioned among the APID club when talking about their attitudes toward APID representation among staff and faculty at Queen Mary College. Members of the club mentioned that there is only representation of APID faculty in science and mathematics which reinforces the optics of the model minority myth. In addition, the model minority myth has been internalized in some of the beliefs of some of the APID club members. When Rebecca mentions that she must minimize herself when there are jokes about how Asians should be attending elite universities and 4-year universities instead of community college, Rebecca is allowing the model minority myth to influence her responses to stereotypes placed in society before her individualized experience. Finally, one salient theme from the dialogue within the APID group was surrounded by the notion that APID people do not experience struggle in the eyes of other minorities or other groups. Whether it was when Candice brought up how APID is seen as excelling in the 83 discussion regarding equity gaps because of institutional descriptions of student success or how many of our club members shared about how they have struggled or how their parents have struggled at some point, these narratives and experience would have never materialized or been understood without the space and community provided by the APID club. This could result from how APID people are viewed as successful and do not experience racism and inequities compared to other groups according to the model minority myth. Asianization: Perpetual Foreigner In addition to the model minority myth, many participants shared experiences related to the perpetual foreigner stereotype: the assumption that those who identify as APID do not fit in with the definition of what it means to be in America promoting subtle and covert marginalization experiences such as questioning one’s country of origin or hometown (Huynh et al., 2011). Utilizing the lens of AsianCrit theory, Asianization can describe the racialized lived experiences of some of the APID club members as pertinent themes grounded in the perpetual foreigner stereotype began to emerge. When Natalie shared an experience about Asian women in particular, the theme of hyper-sexualization of Asian women as exotic, foreign, or fetishized in Western cultures emerged. These notions are intensified as described by Asianization through categorizing Asian women as not a part of American culture. In addition, Natalie shared sentiments regarding how many other cultures like to take from APID culture whether it is through art, music, food, etc., as a form of cultural appropriation. Elements of cultural appropriation also materialized through my dialogue when I shared that my father’s experience with cooking Chinese food was a method of survival when he was a chef, yet his Chinese identity 84 brought forth many different forms of racism. Through the lens of Asianization, APID people are seen as exotic or foreign as a result of categorizing and classifying APID cultures as non-Western or non-American. Strategic Antiessentialism: We Are Not The Same Iftikar & Museus (2018) describe strategic antiessentialism as one of the tenets of AsianCrit theory that counters a form of White supremacy: the idea that race exists outside of being a social construct and that Asian Americans exist as a monolithic group. In summary, themes surrounding the issues and problems that rise from the aggregation of APID groups resurface and appear throughout most of the dialogue collected through the APID club meetings. APID encapsulates over 40 different countries and cultures and within those cultures, different languages, customs, religions, ways of life, and traditions. Although there was value in appreciating the similarities of cultures and shared practices, one key incident that stood out was when Randy shared that being Pacific Islander is a completely different experience compared to other Asian cultures. The APID club gave members like Randy a space and outlet to express their thoughts and sentiments on being aggregated with other Asian classifications. The discussion around internal classism within APID highlighted the dangers behind aggregating the diverse set of cultures within the APID community. Along with the model minority myth stereotype, the aggregation of APID cultures could have made the racialization of APID communities convenient for Western cultures. In addition, combining and throwing all APID cultures into one classification may have an impact on where APID students feel they are in the commitment to social justice with other groups. As Candice shared her experience sitting in discussions regarding how equity gaps are measured at Queen Mary College, Candice reflected on feeling like APID 85 students were not the focal point of this discussion because they are achieving in the quantitative measures that surround specific groups within APID. Although the aggregation and grouping of many APID cultures and classifications together can make racialization of these groups convenient, Ifitkar & Museus (2018) also share that the gathering of these identities can contribute to encouraging engagement with coalition building and influence towards advocacy. This was a consistent and key principle throughout the process of creating and establishing the APID as we were grounded in focusing on both our similarities and differences as a group yet focused on advocating together. 86 Story, Theory, and Praxis: Making Meaning The creation of the APID club and the practice of exercising activities using dialogue and sharing of lived experiences is grounded in the AsianCrit tenant of story, theory, and praxis. Ifitkar & Museus (2018) described storytelling and the sharing of anecdotal experiences as forms of knowledge that contribute to the body of language and data in academics to support people of color. In addition, Ifitkar & Museus (2018) believed that the knowledge gained from stories helps inform theory and practice and both can be used to create transformative and positive change if needed. In all the activities, dialogue and storytelling were required. The space encouraged vulnerability and challenged students to seek answers to questions that are rooted in their cultural and ethnic identities. Through the shares and activities, students were able to navigate their own place in where they stand in their familial timelines regarding culture and decide for themselves what they plan to do with that knowledge. In addition, they were able to learn about other students’ experiences, whether it brought them closer through similarities or closer through differences, most students shared that they were not only pleased but found a place for community through the stories and experiences shared. Transformative processes occurred through these experiences as shared by some of the students, especially when defining what a sense of belonging means to them and if that was heightened or fostered through their participation in the APID club. In conclusion, AsianCrit theory and its seven tenets were created to advance the Asian American experience in academia by finding avenues of knowledge gaining in relation to racialized narratives created by dominant parties and White supremacy (Iftikar & Museus, 2018). Although only three tenets were discussed in this study, all the tenets 87 materialized throughout the creation of the club and the facilitation of the activities. Contemporary issues and problems described by the APID community impacted their sentiments regarding a sense of belonging; yet their participation in this club ultimately supported these participants gained a better understanding of what it means to belong and how the APID club is providing that for them. Implications for Practice and Policy Implications for practice and policy involve providing more spaces in academia for students to share their lived experiences, expanding ethnic studies, disaggregating APID classification when determining and allocating resources to students, and placing value and emphasis on measures in equity discussions that go beyond what could be measured through numerical data. By creating more safe spaces within the classroom and/or in academic environments, these practices could aid in dismantling a shared sentiment in many APID cultures which is a lack of discussion regarding mental health and a lack of platforms to share experiences that do not coexist with traditional academia. In addition, by expanding ethnic studies, students both within and outside of the APID classification will have an opportunity to learn about the experiences and history behind the racialized experiences of APID populations. As mentioned, the aggregation of APID cultures and identities contributes to internal classism and leaves some groups out of the discussions regarding equity gaps. Disaggregating the existing data for the APID classification through policy and practice may allow for an opportunity to reconsider where funding and resources go to serve other student populations. Finally, one key sentiment shared was how colleges and universities describe, identify, and place value on what they consider to be equity gaps. Instead of 88 attempting to operationalize and measure how groups struggle through data collected through enrollment, colleges and universities can put in practice alternative ways to collect the attitudes of the APID student body on campus. This is especially critical when measuring a sense of belonging as a sense of belonging has proven to be subjective and perhaps only measurable through qualitative data collection. Recommendations Informed by the findings of this study, I encourage educators to seek and locate opportunities to serve in capacities beyond their roles at their institution. Speaking specifically as a club advisor, co-constructing a space for APID students has given me the opportunity to serve this student population which I feel can be replicated for many intersecting identities. By working with this group and learning of the outcomes on their perceptions and feelings of a sense of belonging, I conclude that the following principles can assist in finding meaning and value in student-run organizations: 1. From the beginning, encourage and foster a sense of acceptance and inclusion for all identities 2. Co-construct safe spaces by informing members of the club about confidentiality and a judgment-free space 3. Reiterate value in the lived experiences of the community by informing students of the power behind their stories and experiences 4. Reinvest knowledge through your own lived experiences and training by finding opportunities to share relevant themes, topics, or advice in the space 5. Model vulnerability, care, attention, support, and love to the students, and that will contribute to students doing the same for each other 89 Through these five principles, I hope that the improved sense of belonging and co- creation of a community space can be replicated in a multitude of environments in higher education and across a diverse range of identities. Implications for Future Research This study focused on a small sample size of students from a multitude of cultural and ethnic origins. Implications for future research consist of conducting more qualitative studies centered on the lived experiences of each individual culture within the APID classification. It may be helpful to learn about the individualized experiences of each sub- group and then compare those findings. In addition, future research can follow up on the data collected with questions regarding APID classifications. Also, this study was conducted at a California community college where students felt represented in the student body, but not the faculty and staff. Future research could be conducted at colleges where students do not feel represented in the student body or where they do feel represented by the faculty and staff. Finally, future research could focus solely on specific APID categories within APID student services or groups. An example could be focusing on the lived experiences of Southeast Asian students within an APID student-run organization. Ultimately, navigating the existing literature and research for this study was difficult as most of the available data and resources circulated around traditional academic standards: theories, quantitative measures, and surveys/questionnaires. Future research implications consist of providing more studies where participants can freely share their thoughts, sentiments, experiences, and historical stories and those responses could be recorded and provide meaning in understanding the experiences of APID students. 90 Conclusion In conclusion, Asian Pacific Islander Desi students are made up of numerous identities, experiences, cultures, religions, languages, customs, and traditions. Due to the diverse set of populations within the aggregated population of APID, the experiences of each individual APID person could be different depending on the sub-category ethnic origin. Concepts such as the model minority myth and perpetual foreigner stereotype describe all APID populations as successful, achieving, struggle-free individuals that are close enough to whiteness to scapegoat, but still not a part of the American culture. The racialized experiences of APID persons as outlined by Asianization, strategic antiessentialism, and story, theory, and praxis capture how historically rooted racism and white supremacy impact the contemporary issues and problems faced by many APID students today. Yet, these experiences and struggles faced by APID students today do not emerge without space and platforms that encourage dialogue, vulnerability, and community. Through the APID club, students were able to feel comfortable enough to share aspects of themselves and their experiences that otherwise would not have been discussed in traditional academia. Through participation in the APID club, students were able to navigate their own place in the trajectory of their academic journey with an emphasis and appreciation for their own cultural origins. When asked what a sense of belonging means and if it can be fostered and created, the APID student club shared that it can be created and fostered by those who participate in the operationalization of those concepts. Finally, there were many concepts and perspectives that were only grasped through the active participation and involvement of the researcher and the participants. By utilizing 91 community-based participatory action research, power dynamics did not come into play in identifying what is considered significant and authenticity surfaced through modeling and acting genuinely. In order to truly understand and capture the feelings and beliefs of a student population, one must create spaces that encourage students to share their lived experiences and find both value and meaning behind their history, stories, and how they are experiencing life. 92 Chapter 6: Epilogue As an educator, the joy of finding meaning in life often involves not only understanding the world around us, but helping others understand the world around them. Unfortunately, growing up for me involved explanations through the scientific method, and by not understanding those methods completely, I lost myself as a learner. Because of my racialized experiences and how Asians were portrayed in the media and through stereotypes around me, I felt that I was not living up to my potential or who I should be. The richness and privilege of growing up in a community diverse in culture and background also came with the consequences of being othered and being met with expectations that were grounded in racist ideology. Living life involves subtle pressure to prove to the world that I am more than a martial artist and that just because I am not going to become an engineer or doctor, I still must navigate this world as a child of immigrants to make their sacrifices worth it. No matter how hard I worked and how hard I struggled in the realm of education, I still could not find value in the work I was doing. When I was asked to co-create and advise the APID club, I was also entering a time in my academic journey where I had the opportunity to either take on a project to receive a grade or take on a project that is meaningful to me. I decided to take on the challenge of taking on a project that involved something I cared about. As I approach the conclusion of this project, I have reflected on a few lessons that I have learned through this process, which are separated in different themes: Table 6: Impact of Project Working on this research project in academia 1. Tradition hinders growth and potential 2. If you care about something enough, find ways for coherence to thrive 93 3. The observer can also be the observed Co-creation of APID club with students 1. Always listen 2. Co-lead and they will follow 3. Sometimes, all they need is a little bit of encouragement and for a seed to be planted 4. Working in higher education gives you the opportunity to work beyond your job description 5. You can find love in simply existing, and that is enough Becoming me 1. Finding meaning and making meaning are not the same 2. Instead of planning to fall back, fall forward 3. Love is in abundance Ultimately, this project has taught me a lot about my place in higher education, my potential in academia, and the significance of what it means to be something in someone’s life. Although most of the students would share that they see me as a mentor, I consider myself a friend. I consider myself someone who is trying to pass on the knowledge that has been shared with me, but also recognize that a lot of that knowledge was gained through those who consider me as their mentor and friend. I hope to take my research experience and expand the existing pool of literature by bringing forth more opportunities for meaning-making and knowledge-sharing. I will continue to emphasize the significance of sharing stories, passing along historical anecdotes, and making sense of how we all experience the world. As an educator, the joy of finding meaning in life also involves not only understanding how the world works around us, but learning from how the world works around others. 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Applied Economics, 11(3), 253–297. https://doi.org/10.1257/app.20170430 100 Appendix Research Questions:  How are the racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students participating in a cultural club reflected through AsianCrit Theory?  How do student-run organizations focused on cultural identity impact Asian Pacific Islander Desi students’ perceived sense of belonging at a California community college? Focus Group Questions: 1. Why did you decide to join the APID club? 2. What does community mean to you? 3. How do you all feel as APID specifically at QMC? 4. What does a sense of belonging mean to you? 5. How has joining the APID club impacted your perception of a sense of belonging?

Abstract (if available)

Abstract Full title: Exploring racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students through Asiancrit theory: decolonizing a sense of belonging through student-run organizations and community-based participatory action research. Abstract: This qualitative research study explores the operationalization of a sense of belonging through the voice and lived experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APID) students participating in a cultural student-run organization at a California community college. In addition, this study explores themes related to the racialized experiences of APID students through the lens of AsianCrit theory and through the analysis of group discussion transcripts using community-based participatory research methodology. Through these approaches, a sense of belonging is identified and created through the voices and lived experiences of the club participants.

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Creator Luong, Alex (author)

Core Title Exploring racialized experiences of Asian Pacific Islander Desi students through Asiancrit theory…

School Rossier School of Education

Degree Master of Education

Degree Program Teaching

Degree Conferral Date 2023-05

Publication Date 05/01/2023

Defense Date 03/15/2023

Publisher University of Southern California (original), University of Southern California. Libraries (digital)

Tag Asian,Asian Pacific Islander Desi,Asiancrit,Asiancrit Theory,California community college,community college,community-based participatory action research,decolonization,Desi,model minority myth,OAI-PMH Harvest,Pacific Islander,perpetual foreigner,racialized experiences,sense of belonging,South Asian,student clubs,student life,student run organizations

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Advisor Ocampo, Atheneus (committee chair), Banuelos, Sheila (committee member), Cortes, Richard (committee member)

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