Beyond the bed sheets, beyond the borders: Mexican immigrant women and their sex lives

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BEYOND THE BED SHEETS, BEYOND THE BORDERS: MEXICAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN AND THEIR SEX LIVES Gloria Gonzalez-L6pez A Dissertation Presented to the FACULTY OF THE GRADUATE SCHOOL UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY (SOCIOLOGY) May 2000 Copyright 2000 Gloria Gonzdlez-Lopez Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. UMI Number: 3018003 Copyright 2000 by Gonzalez-Lopez, Gloria All rights reserved. ___ ® UMI UMI Microform 3018003 Copyright 2001 by Bell & Howell Information and Learning Company. All rights reserved. This microform edition is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code. Bell & Howell Information and Learning Company 300 North Zeeb Road P.O. Box 1346 Ann Arbor, Ml 48106-1346 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. UNIVERSITY O F SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA THE GRADUATE SCHOOL UNIVERSITY PARK LOS ANGELES. CALIFORNIA 50007 This dissertation, written by under the direction of Dissertation Committee, and approved by all its members* has been presented to and accepted by The Graduate School, in partial fulfillment of re quirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY Gloria Gonzalez-Lopez D m of Graduate Studies D ate.. A£rii..26< ,...?> g . o . O . Dr. Constance R. Ahrons Dr. Judith Grant \ Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Gloria Gonzalez-Lopez Pierrette Hondagneu-Sotelo B e y o n d th e B ed S h e e ts, B e y o n d th e B o rd ers: M ex ican Im m ig ra n t W o m en a n d th e ir S ex L ives Based on in-depth, tape-recorded interviews with 40 heterosexual Mexican immigrant women living in Los Angeles, this dissertation explains the impact of immigration on the sex lives of heterosexual Mexicanas. Mexican immigrant women enter the United States with particular gendered sexual ideologies and practices. In Mexico, women’s heterosexuality is regulated by: a) an ethic of respeto a la familia which links female heterosexuality to family honor and respect; and, b) machismos regionales or regional patriarchies. While there is diversity, Mexican women’s heterosexuality in Mexico is characterized by: 1) the social construction of virginity as a form of social capital (capital femenino) which women may to use to enhance their life opportunities; 2) women’s perception of premarital heterosexual initiation as dangerous due to sexual violence (e.g., rape, kidnapping), coercive marriage due to pregnancy out of wedlock, or negative feelings associated with a first sexual experience (e.g., shame, guilt, a sense of worthlessness or fracasoy, 3) the belief that families may legitimately control women’s sexualized bodies; 4) the perception of sexual intercourse as a marital obligation exchanged for a husband’s family financial support; and, 5) some women’s contestation of sexual oppression. After migration to the U.S., experiences of motherhood, employment, geographical distance from family and community of origin, social networking with Latina(o) friends, sex education programs at community-based agencies, and Spanish-speaking media, prompt Mexicana immigrant women to renegotiate their sexual ideologies and practices. Via motherhood, women redefine their sexualities in two ways: 1) they transform a punishing ethic of family respect into an ethic of protection for their daughters (e.g., no coercive marriage to punish unwed pregnancy); and, 2) they redefine the value of virginity as capital femenino. Via employment, women use their income to redefine unequal gender and generational family relations controlling their sexual autonomy. Meanwhile, U.S. employment schedules often impose the taylorization of their sex lives, leading to either improvement or deterioration of their sex lives’ quality. Lastly, via networking, sex education programs, and media, they establish new social metrics governing female heterosexuality. Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. D edlco e s t a te s is d o cto ra l a m ifa m ili a c o n a m o r p r o f u n d o y g r a titu d in fln ita I d e d ic a te th is d is s e rta tio n to m y fa m ily w ith p ro fo u n d love a n d in fin ite g ra titu d e * To th e m e m o ry of four beloved p eo p le w ho died w h ile I w o rk ed on th is d is s e rta tio n : M y a u n t G a b rie la Lopez, m y g re a t f rie n d s K a th e rin e R an d o lp h S im s a n d E lia C a ste lla n o de G ris, a n d m y d e a r p ro fe sso r a n d s u p e rv is o r D r. C a rlfre d B. B ro d e ric k ii Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A ck n ow led gm en ts M any generous people offered me their kind support during all stages of m y dissertation work. F irst, I w ant to express m y gratitude to th e forty women who opened up their heart and soul, and trusted me with their personal life and sexual stories. And secondly, I am grateful to the Social Science Research Council for th e generous dissertation fellowship I received through its Sexuality Research Fellowship Program. I could have not worked on this study without such a generous and prestigious award. I am also appreciative to th e m any supportive institutions who cooperated during th e sampling process. I w ant to th an k Alice Heidy, M aria E. Zepeda, Francisco Cacho, Reyna Campos, and Irm a Radillo a t C lm icaPara Las Americas for th eir professional collaboration while helping me identify potential study participants. I am also grateful to additional and countless professionals and volunteers a t Clinica P ara Las Americas, Clfnica Monsenor Oscar A. Romero, Norwood Street School, and Pediatric & Fam ily Medical Center for referring study participants to me. I th an k the Consulate of Mexico for offering me 80 volumes of the Nuestra Familia book which I used as an incentive for study participants. I donated th e re st of the volumes to volunteers and professionals who collaborated in the sampling process. Lastly, I w ant to express m y gratitude to m ental health professionals Chandra Ghosh and M aria Eugenia Sotelo-Regil for helping me to establish contact w ith potential informants a t additional institutions. My profound gratitude is also for professors Pierrette Hondagneu-Sotelo, Ju d ith G rant, and Constance R. Ahrons. F irst, I w ant to th ank P ierrette Hondagneu-Sotelo for being a supportive, enthusiastic, and encouraging dissertation committee chair, mentor, professor, and M end. I w ant to express iii Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m y gratitude to h er for all the support I have always received since I joined the Sociology Departm ent. W ithout h er consistent support, orientation, feedback, m anuscript revisions, and encouragement, this dissertation would have not been organized and finished. Second, I w ant to thank Ju d ith G rant for serving on my dissertation committee and for teaching me to develop and stim ulate m y critical th in k in g as a fem inist. And third, I w an t to express my appreciation to Constance R. Ahrons for all the support I received from her as a professor, dissertation committee member, research advisor, and supervisor throughout m y academic training in the clinical program. I am also grateful to th e m any academics and professionals who have offered m e th eir support during graduate school and while working on m y dissertation: Tomas Almaguer, Carlfred B. Broderick, Diane di Mauro, David Heer, Berenice Ibanez Brambila, Marcia Lasswell, Michael A. Messner, and Alexander B. Taylor. I am also grateful to people who kindly edited and m ade suggestions as they read p arts of m y dissertation: M ary G ardner, M ar P reston, David Shahoulian, Shonna L. Trinch, and Leslie W irpsa. I w an t to express my gratitude to P atricia Em erson for helping me not only w ith some of my dissertations chapters, but for generously offering me her tim e and feedback w ith many of my papers in graduate school a t USC. I would have never gone this far w ithout the loving support of m y family. I w ant to th a n k m y m other Isabel Lopez-Gonzalez for h e r lifelong love, devotion, and care. Since my early years in elem entary school to this day, my m other has passionately pointed to education as the p a th leading to my emancipation as a hum an being and as a woman. I also th an k m y father Jesus Gonzalez for his courage to change and agreeing w ith m y m other later in life. I am also grateful to him for his ramilletes espirituales and endless prayers during many stressful tim es including, b u t not limited to m y qualifying exams iv Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and oral defenses. I w ant to express m y gratitude to m y sisters and brothers, Olivia Guadalupe, M arfa del Refugio, Baltazar, and Gerardo for celebrating and supporting (financially and morally) m y desire to pursue m y education. I am thankful to m y brother Gerardo for living a parallel life along m ine first in Houston and later on in Los Angeles. I w ant to th a n k him for tolerating my strong tem per, and countless endless days and nights of dissertation work in our crowded apartm ent. I thank him for cleaning, cooking, and making my life simpler a t m any stages of graduate school. Lastly, I w ant to th an k Lorenzo Espinosa for his unconditional love and support especially during th e last year of my dissertation work. Finally, I am grateful to m y two psychotherapists for helping me to navigate through the deepest p art of m y emotional life. I am grateful to them for helping m e to resolve m any issues w ith regard to m y body, m y sexuality, and m y sex life. W ithout their valuable professional help, I would have never been emotionally prepared to conduct th e present study. Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table of Contents Dedication............................................................................................. ii Acknowledgments................................................................................. iii In tro d u c tio n ..................................................................................................... 1 I. Methods........................................................................................ 8 A Fieldwork, Sampling, and D ata Collection................ 12 B. Analysis of D a ta ............................................................ 19 C. Q ualitative Research: Methodological Considerations and Limitations................................ 23 D. Conducting Sex Research w ith M exican W omen.. . . 27 n . Purpose of the S tu d y .................................................................. 35 Notes.............................................................................................. 39 C h a p te r 1 Twice Forgotten: Heterosexual M exicanas a n d their Sex Lives in th e United States................................................. 40 I. Immigration Studies.................................................................. 42 A Ethnic/Cultural Resilience Models................................ 42 B. Transnational Models...................................................... 44 C. Assimilation Models....................................................... 46 II. Gender and Sexuality Studies................................................... 48 III. U.S. Mexicana Sexuality beyond Acculturation Dominance.............................................................................. 50 IV. Feminist Sociology of Mexicana H eterosexualities 56 A H istory of Mexicana H eterosexuality........................ 58 B. Normative Female Heterosexuality in M odem Mexican Society........................................ 62 C. Multiple Fem ale Heterosexualities and Popular C ulture in Mexico........................................ 65 V. Notes............................................................................................ 69 C h a p te r 2 Beyond the Hymen: th e Social Construction o f Virginity.. 73 I. The Cult of Virginity: Mexican Women and V irginity................75 H. Preserving Virginity: Beyond the Cult of V irginity.................... 79 A Family Politics and Virginity: Virginity as capital femenino........................................................... 80 B. Machismo and V irginity................................................... 84 HI. Losing V irginity.......................................................................... 89 A Losing Virginity, Finding Pleasure.............................. 92 B. Family Politics and Coercive M arriage....................... 95 C. Le falle a m i mama: I let my m other down................. 101 D. Vestida de bianco: Virginity and its Social Symbolism 105 E. Rape of a Virgin................................................................. 110 IV. Conclusion..................................................................................... 114 V. Notes............................................................................................... 116 vi Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C h a p te r 3 S exu a l id a d , madres e h i j a s : the M other-Daughter Relationship a n d Sexuality...................................................... 124 L Virginity and the M other-Daughter Relationship................ 126 A. Promoting Emancipation and Sexual Autonomy. 131 B. Contesting an Ethic of respeto a la familia Across Generations.................................................... 139 C. Preventing Loss of V irginity....................................... 145 D. Sexual Oppression and Sexism’ s Double Binds 152 E. Virginity, Cross-cultural Differences, and the Gender Maze........................................................... 156 IE. Virginity, Motherhood, and Geographical Differences 159 EH. Mothers, Sons, and Sexuality.................................................. 163 A. ChallengingMicftismo.................................................. 168 IV. Conclusion.................................................................................... 171 V. Notes................................................................................................ 173 C h a p te r 4 Negotiating Pleasure: E m ploym ent M oney, a n d P ow er.......................................................................................... 176 I. Employment and Sex Life in. th e United States........................ 178 II. The Commodification of the Sex Act in M arital and Family Life....................................................................................189 HE. Work, Time, and Sex Life in the United States........................ 198 IV. Employment as a Window to M ainstream Society............... 205 V. Conclusion.................................................................................... 214 VI. Notes............................................................................................... 215 C h a p te r 5 iD e v e ra s? Really?: Networking, Sex Education, a n d Talk Show s........................................................................ 217 I. Networking................................................................................... 219 A. Emancipatory Networking............................................ 220 B. Dangerous liaisons: Networking and Internalized Sexism............................................................................ 232 II. Sex education: Las platicas sobre la sexualidad..................... 237 A. Gender Relations, las platicas, and Sexuality............... 237 B. Becoming Sexually Literate: from Private to Public. 241 C. Beyond las platicas on Sex: Immigrant Women as Active Agents................................................................244 HI. Spanish-speaking talk shows..................................................... 246 A. Social Reality and Sexuality............................................ 249 B. Sexual Literacy............................................................... 251 C. Sexual Liberation................................................................ 253 D. Beyond Talk Shows and S ex.......................................... 259 V. Conclusion.................................................................................... 261 VI. Notes............................................................................................... 262 vii Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C h a p te r 6 C o n fe sio n e s de m u je r : Religion, the Church, a n d Sa cred Morality....................................................................... 265 L Sexuality and Catholicism in Mexico...................................... 267 II. Feminism, the Church, and the Sexual Liberation ofLatinas................................................................................. 269 m . Carta al Papa: L etter to the Pope John Paul II.................... 272 IV. True Confessions: Beyond Cassocks and Penitence 273 A. A Polarized Duality: “The Church is for the spirit, sex is separate”................................................. 281 B. Personal Agency, Religion, and Sex: “The woman is the one who decides more th an anybody else”. . 285 C. Catholic Obedience: “One m ust follow God’ s mandates”..................................................................... 296 V. Abortion: Between la ignorancia and la liberacion............... 297 Conclusion.................................................................................... 307 Notes................................................................................................309 C onclusion............................................................................................................313 I. Gendered Sexuality Luggage........................................................314 II. The Patriarchal F am ily ................................................................ 319 HI. Contesting Oppressive Fam ily Ethics........................................ 322 IV. Machismo.........................................................................................325 V. The Catholic Church.................................................................... 327 VI. The Expropriation of th e Sexualized Body................................ 329 VH. Implications for Clinical P ractice............................................. 332 A. Immigration and Fam ily Life Transitions.......................333 B. Linguistic Therapeutic Tools............................................. 336 C. Group Psychotherapy and Community Support Groups................................................................337 D. Gender and Intraethnic Sensitivity.................................. 338 VIL1. W hat About the M en?.................................................................. 340 Notes..................................................................................................343 R e fe re n ce s......................................................................................................... 344 A ppendix Interview Guide: English version....................................................................360 Spanish version................................................................ 365 v iii Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. T -is t of Tables Table la Demographic Characteristics Study Participants from th e S tate of Jalisco............. 9 Table lb Demographic Characteristics Study Participants from th e Mexico C ity .................. 10 Table Ila The F irst Sexual Experience Study Participants from th e S tate of Jalisco............. 32 Table lib The F irst Sexual Experience Study Participants from Mexico C ity .......................... 33 Table 2.1 Participants’ Pleasure-Danger Continuum .................. 90 Table 3.1 Participants’ Pleasure-Danger Continuum ...................127 Table 3.2 M other-Daughter Pleasure-Danger Continuum...........128 Table 3.3 Women Who Preserved Their Virginity Until M arriage...............................................................................129 Table 3.4 Women Who Lost Their V irginity Before M arriage...............................................................................130 Table 3.5 Sexism’s Double Binds on a Danger-Danger C ontinuum ..........................................................................153 List of Figures Figure A Map of Mexico...................................................................... 11 ix Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Introduction: Breaking the Silence During the fall of 1995,1 started a L atina women’s support group a t an inner-city elem entary school as p art of m y clinical training in USC’s Marriage and Fam ily T herapy Program . Seven of th e eight adult L atin a women participating in these two-hour weekly sessions were bom and raised in Mexico; one of them was bom and raised in Central America. All of them w ere mothers and identified them selves as heterosexual. All of them were or h ad been in a relationship with a m an. For these women, th e support group provided their first opportunity to explore their emotional lives in a safe atm osphere with other adult women. Our support group was initially negotiated with the director of E l Centro de Servicios para la Fam ilia a t th e elem entary school as an “eight-week Latina women’ s support group.” During this period of time, I led these women in discussions about m any of their personal concerns including issues such as self-esteem, domestic violence, drug abuse, family life, parenting skills, among others. Group m em bers faithfully m et every single week, persistently requesting gradual extensions which eventually led the support group to have weekly sessions for a total of 10 continuous months. As these women developed a deep bonding relationship w ith each other and w ith me as their group facilitator, they expressed an insatiable desire to explore the most intim ate feelings of their lives as women. Surprisingly, one of the most crucial issues for them was voiceless during the first weeks: their sex fives. As I became aw are of this fact, I shared my own curiosity about their 1 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. silence with regard to sexuality related issues. Immediately, th ey asked if it was permissible to discuss their intim ate experiences and secrets about their sexual lives. The sessions became intense, the list of their sexual concerns was endless. D uring our group sessions, we explored countless issues involving virginity, orgasm an d sexual satisfaction, love m aking, m asturbation, homosexuality (gay and lesbian), sexual practices, reproduction and sex, oral and anal sex, sexual fantasies, extra-m arital affairs, prostitution, sexually transm itted diseases, sexual morality, machismo, and th eir persistent concern about providing a well-informed sex education for their children. Some of the women felt safe enough to share their pain while describing their own stories of sexual victimization (e.g., rape, incest); some of them felt comfortable enough to share their deepest sexual fears (e.g., becoming a lesbian). For m ost of these women, the group experience became an unfolding journey through which they discovered th eir innerm ost personal feelings as th ey explored th eir most intim ate sexual concerns. For me, the group experience alerted me to what would become the topic for this doctoral dissertation: M exican im m igrant women and their sex lives. Through my clinical experience with this group of women, and later on during my individual clinical work with other Latinas, I learned im portant lessons about Latina im m igrants’ sexuality. I learned, for example, th a t their bedrooms—or the physical spaces where their sexual encounters take place— are important social scenarios witnessing intim ate personal transform ations th a t occurred to them as p art of their immigration experience. I learned as well, th at these innerm ost sexual journeys taking place in th e apparent isolation and privacy of their bedrooms were not divorced from their social contexts and circumstances. Instead, transform ations in th e ir sex lives were linked to important social and personal experiences as im m igrant women. For 2 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. in stan ce, w h at th ey experienced in their so called “public life” (e.g., com munities, schools, support netw orks, etc.) had an im pact a t m any levels and in m any ways on the sexual behaviors and ideologies they displayed during their sexual encounters w ith th eir partners. I will be forever grateful to each one of th e se women for offering m e such an im p o rtan t aw areness as a sociologist and as a psychotherapist. Thus, as a researcher, I was seduced into em barking in an in-depth exploration of the multiple interconnections between Mexican im m igrant women’ s social realities and w h at th ey experience in the privacy of th eir sex lives. A t th e sam e time, I became interested in exploring how w hat happened in th eir intim ate and sexual m om ents had an im pact on their social and personal lives as im m igrant women. A fter learning to navigate through th e rich diversity of the sexual feelings and experiences encountered by the women in th e support group, and while completing both my clinical and academic training, I was left with more th a n one sociological enigma. From a fem inist sociological perspective, th e follow ing research questions emerged: W hat is the im pact of immigration and life in the United S tates on the sex lives of heterosexual M exican immigrant women? W hat sexuality baggage do Mexican im m igrant women bring w ith them to th e U nited States? How do th ey unpack it in their new social context? How do m igration experiences th ro u g h com m unity networks, work, media, motherhood, and religion change their sexual ideologies and practices ? In order to answ er each one of these questions, I im m ersed m yself during th e sum m er of 1997 in various inner-city community-based agencies and elem entary schools serving Latino families in th e city of Los Angeles to begin interviewing Mexican im m igrant women about th eir sex lives. 3 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Besides m y clinical experience w ith M exican women an d a special academic interest in studying th eir sexualities, th e present study is also a reaction to both m y own journey from b irth to m y undergraduate years in Mexico, and my personal experience as an im m igrant woman. I received a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from a private university in M onterrey, Mexico in th e early 1980s. A fter being taught to respect, worship, and obey Sigm und F re u d ’s sexist an d phallocentric theory on women’s sexuality, I was convinced th a t Freud’ s theory of penis envy and m any of his sexuality concepts h a d nothing to do w ith M exican women’ s sexuality. I always wondered about w h at Mexican women, if given an opportunity, could say about their own bodies and sexualities. B u t before my early contact with Freud’s ideas, I was exposed to m any questions about Mexicanas’ sexuality. D ining m y adolescent years, I read for th e first tim e the surprising advertising printed on th e back of m y hometown’s yellow pages: a fem ale physician offering plastic su rg ery services to wom en who w anted “to re p a ir” their virginity. Doctor G uadalupe Solis, a controversial physician, has offered since late 1960s to this day h er medical services to women who w ant to have their hym ens repaired. H er advertising caused intense moral discussions and controversy in my hom etow n during th e late 1970s. Back th en I was only a teenager struggling to decipher my own sexuality, I had no choice b u t to w itness the m oral debates in silence. As years have passed by, I always w ondered about M exican women’s sex u ality far beyond F re u d ’s phallic assumptions. Dr. Solis’ plastic surgery of M exican women’ s ruptured hymens has been in my m ind for two decades b u t w ithout any answers. I became a young adult w ith th ese an d m any other questions about M exican women’ s sexualities. However, m y non-academic career choices did not give me the opportunity to explore th eir possible answ ers. I finally m igrated to th e United 4 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. S tates in m y mid-20s and th ese questions becam e p art of m y luggage. Attending graduate school, studying sociology of gender and womens sexuality, and finally working on a doctoral dissertation, has offered me the long awaited opportunity to unpack them. I experienced a sharp downward social m obility im m ediately after migrating to th e United States in 1986. Like some of the study participants, I have worked as a nanny, as a secretary or I have barely survived while being unemployed. Unlike the vast m ajority of them, I had a bachelor’ s degree when I migrated from Mexico and, at some point, I was fortunate enough to beat the odds in order to have a stable life while continuing with my education in graduate school and becoming a teacher, a counselor, and a therapist. As my own personal growth has unfolded while living most of m y adult life in this country—m ostly in th e city of Los Angeles—my exposure to m ainstream society in term s of sexuality has offered to me one of the main sources of stam ina and restless energy to work on the present study. First, as the only L atina in a mainly White academic clinical program embedded in a D epartm ent of Sociology at a m ajor private research university, learning about N orth Americans and sexuality has been fascinating. I still remember the day w hen m y professor teaching a H um an Sexuality graduate course warned us against the sexually explicit m aterial of the videos we would see as part of our training while explaining th a t N orth American society was mainly puritanical in term s of sexuality. My professor’s comments w ere to some extent shocking to m e—I had learned all of my life while growing up in Mexico th a t North Americans were sexually liberal! On the other hand, his comments were not as surprising to me as w hen I learned about one of my W hite male classm ates consulting our M ormon clinical director to m ake su re th a t watching sexually explicit m aterial would not be a th reat against his religious 5 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and m oral principles. In our class discussions, I realized th a t to some extent I was very “liberal” or open w ith regard to sexuality issues, m ore so th an some of my W hite classmates. Second, while working as a Spanish instructor a t th e same university for five academic years, I becam e aw are of the ethics th a t surrounded my teaching experience. I was su rp rised w hen one of m y W hite supervisors recommended th a t I be cautious if I ever planned on u sin g th e game of la loteria in m y Spanish classes. L a loteria, sim ilar to th e N orth American “Bingo,” is a family game containing m any colorful illustrations; la loteria has been played for a t least 100 years by m any generations of M exican families. My supervisor recommended to m e not to include th e card of La Sirena showing th e image of a topless m erm aid because it represented the risk of being m orally offensive to some of m y m ainly White undergraduate students. And third, in my personal life, some of the White m en I have dated since I came to th e U nited S tates, have also utilized m any stereotypes about Latinas while stating th at for a Mexican woman educated in the Catholic faith I was m ore open, em ancipated, and sexually liberated th a n m any of their W hite ex-girlfriends. In m y personal conversations w ith some of my M exican/Latina immigrant amigas, we have always talk ed about these and many of our incredible coincidences w ith regard to our exposure to both North A m erican society’s b ia sed m isconceptions an d ste re o ty p e s about Mexican/Latina women and th eir sexualities, and the conservative nature with regard to sexual morality we encountered a t times in m ainstream society. Being exposed to m orally conservative N orth Am erican classmates and supervisors, and my personal experiences w ith W hite m iddle-class men, represents only one stage of m y journey. M any of the liberal, feminist, and socially progressive North Am erican professors, colleagues, and friends I have 6 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m et while attending m y Sociology courses including Sex and Gender, Fem inist Theory, and clinical coursew ork (in addition to those I have m et a t m any conferences) have helped m e to finally become aw are th a t th ere are indeed m ultiple contrasting and opposing N orth A m erican sexualities a n d sexual m oralities. For in stan ce, w hile atten d in g th e “K insey a t 50” sexuality conference organized by th e Program in H um an Sexuality S tudies a t San Francisco State U niversity in November, 1998, it was interesting for me to w itness a rally organized by a New York-based conservative group called The Pure Love Alliance. They actively protested on campus against th e sexuality conference w hile prom oting in th eir b ro ch u res “th e sim ple concept of abstinence and m arriag e.”1 B u t as I w orked on m y d issertatio n , m y aw areness about th e contradictions in sexual m orality w ithin m ainstream society came m ainly from th e countless m oral an d political debates taking place at th a t tim e in a highly sexualized social and political discourse in the U nited States. As I conducted my d ata analysis, my aw areness of N orth American contrasting sexual moralities was validated in two ways. F irst, after th e m arketing of th e V iagra pill, officials an d representatives of concerned social groups (e.g., insurance companies, sex researchers and therapists, etc.) debated from co n trastin g perspectives ab o u t th e im portance of penile erections for a h ealth y sex life in a strongly phallocentric and heterosexist society. And second, am id a highly apprehensive social atm osphere, N orth Americans experienced contrasting reactions to th eir politicians’ decisions with regard to their president’ s destiny while being trapped in th e unpredictable social, moral, and political labyrinth em erging from the W hite H ouse sex scandal. From the cathedral of politics of th e so called “free world,” Monica L ew insky an d B ill C linton officially dem ystified m onogam y, gave an unexpected tw ist to th e national debate on fam ily values, questioned th e fine 7 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. boundaries betw een “public” an d “private,” created controversy on th e definition of “sexual relations,” and involuntarily shared w ith the entire world the rich variety of heterosexual sex expressions- Personally, the political and social consequences of th e ir sexual adventures helped me to solidify m y aw areness about th e disjunctures and contradictions experienced w ithin m ainstream society w ith regard to sexuality and sexual morality. Based on this aw areness, I conducted th is study while becoming convinced of th e existence of a non-m onolithical sexuality and sexual m orality in N orth American m ainstream society. I t rem inded me, as well, of the same non- m onolithical n atu re of sexuality an d sexual m orality existing in Mexico. Finally, I becam e cognizant of th e m ultiple contrasting social and cultural complexities M exican women m igrating to this country bring with themselves w ith regard to sexuality, as well as th e similar complexities they encounter in th a t same regard in their new social contexts. This study is a serious effort to explore these dynamics. I. Methods This qualitative research study included in-depth, open-ended question interviews, lasting an average of 3 hours with a total of 40 Mexican immigrant women living in the Los Angeles area. My study participants were women who m igrated to th e U nited States a t th e age of 20 years old or older. A t the interview, they were between the ages of 25 and 45 years old. All of them have lived perm anently in the United States between five and 15 years. Half of the sample were women born and raised in the state of Jalisco; the other half included women bom and raised in Mexico City. Study participants included women of all educational, socioeconomic, and m arital status. See Table la and Table lb for demographic characteristics of study participants. See Figure A for geographical location of the state of Jalisco and Mexico City. 8 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table I a Dem ographic C haracteristics Study Participants from the State of Jalisco Place of origin A ge Years In the U.S. Marital Status Children Fem ale Male Education Number of years O ccu p atio n 1 Amparo BArcenas ST 45 25 Married 2 3 Primaria, Academia Homemaker 2 Beatriz Correa ST-50 33 10 Married 1 1 Primaria Seamstress 3 Candelaria de la Rosa ST 36 11 Married 1 3 Primaria, Academia Homemaker 4 Deyanira EstAvez ST=>G 41 11 Married 2 1 Primaria Homemaker 5 Erendira Fuentes G 32 10.6 Single None Secundaria, Academia Health educator 6 Felicia G6mez ST 37 10 Cohabitation* 2 2 Primaria Homemaker 7 Graciela HemAndez ST-50 32 12 Divorced None 2 years Secundaria Artisan 8 Hortencia Ibarra ST-50 33 18 Married 2 1 1 year Secundaria Homemaker 9 Idalia JimAnez ST 30 10 Cohabitation 1 1 Secundaria Homemaker 10 Juanita Loreto ST 30 8 Married 3 1 Primaria Homemaker 11 Lorena MArquez ST 34 10 Married 0 4 Primaria Homemaker 12 Margarita NAfiez ST-50 39 14 Married 2 1 Primaria Homemaker 13 Nora Ovalle ST 33 9 Cohabitation 1 0 Bachelor’ s Degree Physician Assist. 14 Oralia Pacheco ST-50 39 15 Married 1 1 Primaria, Academia Health educator 15 Patricia Quezada ST-60 34 6 Married 3 0 Primaria Child care P/T 16 Romelia SAnchez G 32 7 Cohabitation 2 1 Primaria, Trade school Sales P/T 17 SalomA Tovar ST — > G 43 20 Separated 3 2 4 years Primaria Machine Op, 18 Tomasita Uribe ST 30 9 Separated 4 1 Secundaria Homemaker 19 Victoria YAfiez ST-50 34 14 Married 1 2 6 years Primaria Homemaker 20 XAchitl Arteaga ST 34 9 Married 1 1 Secundaria, Academia Sales P/T Code: ST ST-60 G ST— > G ST=> G Born, and raised in a Bmall town Born and raised in a small town located within 50 mileB from Guadalqjara Bom and raised in Guadalajara Born in a small town and raised in Guadalajara Bom and raised in a small town, migrated as an adolescent to Guadalajara Auerages: 35 11.68 Married; 12 out of 20 VO Cohabitation* Cohabitating, previously married & divorced Primaria: Equivalent to Elementary School Secundaria: Equivalent to Middle School Preparatoria: Equivalent to High School Academia'. Trade school training to become a certified secretary 1.6 1,3 7.1 years of Women with paid education employment: 9 out of 20. Homemaker 11 out of 20. Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission Table I b Demographic Characteristics Study Participants from Mexico City Age the U .S . Years In Marital Status Children Female Male Education Number of years Occupation 1 Azucena Bermiidez 43 11 Married* 1 2 Secundaria, Normal Community Educator 2 Bel6n Carrera 43 9 Married 2 2 Secundaria, Normal Homemaker & volunteer 3 Cecilia Duarte 32 8 Married 2 1 Secundaria, 2 yrs. Academia Office clerk & student 4 Diamantina Estrada 31 6 Married 2 0 Secundaria Homemaker 5 Emilia Falcdn 32 7 Married None 3 yrs, College Tax advisor & student 6 Fernanda Galindo 31 8 Cohabitation* 2 0 1 yr. Preparatoria, Normal Factory assembler 7 Gabriela Hurtado 30 10 Married 1 1 Secundaria, Enfermeria Homemaker 8 Lolita Iglesias 26 5 Single 3 0 Secundaria, lyr, Preparatoria Apartment Manager 9 Irene Juirez 38 13 Married 1 2 Secundaria, Enfermeria Homemaker 10 Jimena Lombardo 40 8 Cohabitation* 2 3 Secundaria Seamstress 11 Macaria Negrete 37 9 Single None Preparatoria, Normal Seamstress 12 Norma Ortega 38 8 Married 1 0 Secundaria, Academia Homemaker 13 Olga Ponce 32 10 Married None Preparatoria, Trade school Tax advisor 14 Irasema Quiroga 39 9 Married* 1 1 Secundaria, Academia Seamstress 16 Rosalia Silva 40 10 Married* 3 3 Primaria Seamstress 16 Soledad Torres 27 6 Married 1 1 Secundaria, Trade school Seamstress - part time 17 Trinidad Urbina 40 10 Married* 1 1 Bachelor’ s Degree Public relations 18 Yadira V^lez 41 14 Married 1 2 Primaria Domestic worker 19 Zenaida Alemdn 33 6 Married 0 2 Preparatoria, 1 yr. College Secretary 20 Azalea Zapata 43 12 Cohabitation* 2 3 Primaria Apartment Manager Code: Cohabitation* Primaria: Secundaria: Preparatoria: Ruerages: Cohabitating, previously married and divorced Equivalent to Elementary School Equivalent to Middle School Equivalent to High School 36.8 8.85 Married: 15 out of 20 Married* Married for the second time Academia'. Trade school training to become a certified secretary Normal: Known as Escuela Normal, equivalent to teachers college Enfermeria: Nursing school 1.3 1,2 10,16 years of education Women with paid employment: 16 out of 20 Homemaker: 5 out of 20 < < u W - 3 00 UU O u * s u. co 11 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. As p a rt of th e selection process, I conducted a b rief pre-selection individual questionnaire to identify qualified individuals for th e study. I asked them three questions: age (between 25 and 45), length of residency in the United States (at least five years), and place of origin (Jalisco or Mexico City). I allowed interviewees to identify th eir sexual orientation during the formal interview. All of the study participants identified themselves as heterosexual. Jalisco and Mexico City represent two of the m ain states “launching” Mexican im m igrant women coming to th e United States (California) through Tijuana (Woo Morales, 1995). Conservative and traditional sexual attitudes have been associated with the sexuality of Mexican female adolescents living in Guadalajara, th e second largest city in Mexico and the capital of Jalisco (Baird, 1993). Based on m y clinical experience w ith Mexican im m igrant women, five years of perm anent residence in th e USA offers a minimum period of tim e to establish a relatively stable personal life. A . Fieldwork. Sampling, and Data Collection Three elem entary schools and four community-based clinics located in inner-city Latino immigrant barrios were the prim ary sites where I identified my final study sample of 40 participants. One of the schools and one of the clinics served as im portant sites w here I completed my clinical training as a psychotherapist through the Liter-Professional Initiative program at U.S.C. Officials a t both institutions supported and were enthusiastic about the present study. The school has a student body of 1,100 students, 98% of whom are of Latin Am erican origin—most of them are children of im m igrant families of Mexican descent. The clinic is one of the oldest non-profit community health organizations providing services to low income Latino children and th eir families. At both institutions, I m et community organizers, counselors, health educators, and school teachers who gradually introduced me to officials working 12 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. at th e other five institutions and/or helped me to recruit qualified participants for th e study. One of the im m igrant women of the support group I conducted a t th e school agreed to p articip ate in the study; I identified the re st of th e participants by utilizing a snowball sampling technique a t the seven research sites. I attended m eetings a t th e parents’ centers of th e schools (e.g., ESL classes for parents, parenting classes, PTA meetings, etc.) to identify potential participants. Sim ilarly, I located potential candidates for the project by visiting the crowded reception rooms of the various clinics where large groups of L atin a im m igrant women were waiting to be called for their physicians’ appointments. M y firs t attem p t to re c ru it p o te n tia l p articip an ts becam e a methodological lesson. T he wording of my invitation to participate in th is project became a crucial component of the sam ple selection process. At all sites, I introduced m yself in Spanish during highly concentrated and lively times of the day in the w aiting rooms of these clinics or school classrooms. I used th e following statem ent a t m y very first attem pt to find interviewees a t the front of a reception area in a busy clinic: Me llamo Gloria Gonzalez Lopez, soy estudiante de la Universidad del S u r de California y estoy entrevistando a mujeres de Jalisco y de la Ciudad de Mexico para un estudio sobre la sexualidad de la mujer m exicana para mi tesis doctoral. iHay aqut mujeres de Jalisco o la capital a quienes les gustaria participar? English translation: M y nam e is Gloria Gonzalez-Ldpez, I am a student at the U niversity of S outhern California, and I am interviewing women from Jalisco and Mexico City as p a rt of a study on the sexuality of Mexican women which I will use in order to work on my doctoral dissertation. Are any of you from Jalisco or Mexico City who would like to participate? 13 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. After I m ade th is statem ent, I only received big eyes and expressive faces in the m idst of an overwhelming silence in the reception area at the very firs t clinic I visited. I left a room packed w ith a t least 25 L atinas while questioning m yself about m y own failure to recruit a t le a st one potential participant. In th e middle of m y disappointm ent, I thought th a t perhaps the word sexualidad w as too loaded. I decided to reword m y invitation in a less threatening and more explicit and personalized way. My new invitation a t the sam e clinic, during th e same week, read this w ay Me Uamo Gloria Gonzalez-Lopez y soy inmigrante mexicana. Despues de muchos anos de vivir en Estados Unidos, ahora estudio en la Universidad del S u r de California donde estoy haciendo un estudio sobre la manera en que nos educany crian, a nosotras las mexicanas, en cuanto al sexo. En la universidad tambien trabajo como consejera o terapeuta. Yo quisiera entrevistar a mujeres de Jalisco y d e la Ciudad de Mexico sobre sus experiencias personales en cuanto a este tema y asi obtener informacion que me va a a yudar a hacer mis tesis en la universidad. iH ay aqui mujeres de Jalisco o la capital que les gustaria participar? English translation: My nam e is Gloria Gonzalez-Lopez and I am a M exican im m igrant woman. After m any years living in th e U nited States, I am now studying a t th e U niversity of S outhern California w here I am conducting a study about th e ways in which we, M exican women, a re educated and raised w ith regard to sex. I also work as a th erap ist or a counselor a t the university. I would like to interview women from Jalisco and Mexico City about their personal experiences w ith regard to this them e and by doing so, I will obtain information th a t will help me to do m y dissertation a t th e university. Do we have here any women from Jalisco or Mexico City who would like to participate? The response to m y second attem p t was astounding com pared to my first venture to identify potential participants. After I finished my invitation, m any women raised their hands while asking me why I was only interested in women from Jalisco and Mexico City. Some of them complained to me w ith a 14 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. loud and u p settin g tone of voice while challenging m y interest in only two clearly identified locations in Mexico. They protested about women from Michoacan, Zacatecas, Sonora, and evidently the re s t of th e country being excluded w hile arguing th at sex education should be im portant in every single Mexican state. O ther women who identified themselves as Central American, yelled a t me a jD iscrim ination!, jD iscrim inacion!” while sim ilarly complaining th at women from other Latin American countries were not being included. The few women from Mexico City and from Jalisco present in this crowded group reacted to me w ith a smile and wrote th eir names on m y clipboard paper while volunteering to participate. As th e receptionist asked me about the endless noise in th e w aiting room, I left th a t area of the clinic in a state of shock but with more th a n three potential study participants. After talking individually with each one of them in a private office provided by the clinic’ s executive director, I started to think about m y fate a t the other clinics and schools I was planning on visiting to find my final sample. My experience a t this first clinic became both a methodological lesson and an accurate anticipation of w hat I would find w hile visiting, more th an twice a week and for more than six months, the additional clinics and schools. I became accustomed to encountering sim ilar responses while identifying m any qualified study participants who openly expressed a curiosity about a study that had to do with Mexican women and sex My sample-finding journey validated the importance of my interest in studying die sexuality cf Mexican immigrant women and provided me with an energized attitude to pursue thefollowing stages cfmy study. I started to interview my study participants during the summer of 1997. By the end of th e spring of 1998,1 had already identified and interviewed my final sample. I interviewed a total of 45 women, five of whom did not qualify for the study. A t th e end of these five interviews, some women talked to me about 15 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. their need to lie because of a hope to obtain some answers from m e about the best way to provide an appropriate and well-informed sex education for their children. And some of them talked about a purely personal curiosity to address th e ir personal concerns to m e about different sexuality related issues (e.g. condom use and HIV/AIDS). After I contacted potential interviewees, I personally conducted all of the interviews at the inform ant’s home or at a private office a t the school or th e clinic. I conducted all of my interview s in Spanish based on my interviewee’ s language preference. After the interview, I gave each participant a copy of the book N uestra F am ilia which I had previously requested and received free of cost from th e Consulate of Mexico. The book was an expression of m y personal appreciation to m y interviewees for participating in the study. The research was conducted in accordance w ith h u m an subjects protocol. The Institutional Review Board a t USC granted research approval to conduct the present study. I asked respondents to sign an informed consent form before our interview, and I obtained their permission to tape record the interviews. I informed respondents of the tapes being erased and destroyed after I completed the transcribing process. I informed respondents of their right to refuse to answer any questions and to withdraw from th e study a t any time. In order to assure the confidentiality and privacy of m y respondents, I use pseudonyms to identify study participants. I conducted inform al participant observations during th e L atina women’ s support group meetings I led for ten m onths at the elem entary school. I obtained authorization from the group members to utilize this m aterial for research purposes. The m aterial offered by these women during our sessions has been useful in th e design of the open-ended question interview guide I 16 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. utilized during m y interviews. The interview guide covered the following topics: 1) general concepts on sexuality; 2) religion and sexuality; 3) sex education in the home; 4) puberty and adolescence; 5) sexuality and the media; 6) sexuality, AIDS, and Sexually T ransm itted D iseases; 7) sexuality, im m igration and cultural differences; 8) sexuality and exposure to social institutions, contexts, and netw orks in th e U nited S tates; 9) sex education: cu rren t beliefs and attitudes as a m other; 10) personal reaction to real life situations (vignettes) regarding women’ s sexuality; 11) interview ee’s personal information; and, 12) interviewee’ s personal reaction to interview . See Appendix A for English and Spanish versions of the interview guide. W ithin m y in-depth, open-ended question interview guide, I freely incorporated two particular techniques or approaches to collect my data. These included: 1) reconstructed recollections of past experiences or w hat I identify as storytelling; and, 2) personal reactions to vignettes. S torytelling resembles oral histories because it triggers past life events which are recollected by the inform ants in the present in a particular context. Evidence of the success of this type of approach is offered by K en Plum m er in his book T elling Sexual Stories (1995). Plum m er collected th e coming-out stories of homosexuals and the recovery tales of women survivors of rape. He demonstrates how reconstructing p ast stories while going through a process of story telling becomes a sociological phenomenon: stories help organize the flow of interaction, b in d in g together or disrupting the relation of self to other and community. In his study, rape stories (recovery stories) feed upon and into community. T h at is, they connect th e spheres of w hat is public and private, and secret or known about. In his own words: Sexual stories lay down routes to a coherent past, m ark off boundaries and contrasts in th e present, and provide both a channel and a shelter for the future. (P. 172) 17 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. In th e section called “No Conclusion” of his book, P lu m m e r urges sociologists to see and analyze grounded story telling activities and th e ir lin k s to social structures. In addition, re se arch conducted by M arta Rivas (1996) in Mexico dem onstrates the high value of telling sexual stories as the best m odality for M exican women to organize th e ir own recollections about their personal sex histories.2 In her w ork on sexuality and m arital life w ith M exican women, Rivas found th a t th e m eanings and forms of sexual relations an d practices w ere deeply rooted in p a s t life experiences which w ere draw n o u t by h er inform ants while tracing back in tim e those specific scenarios. Rivas cites Jerom e B ru n er (1990) to argue th a t narrative is one of the m ost common everyday life ways to express and organize language and is the ideal vehicle to express an d give shape to one’s personal experiences. P ersonal reactions to vignettes consist of th e researcher reading a passage to the inform ant in order for her/him to have a personal reaction by articu latin g and expressing h e r ideas, thoughts, and feelings in a verbal m anner. The purpose o f th is technique, in m y study in particular, w as to collect from m y inform ants a self-constructed sexual ideology, i.e., women’ s m orality and sexuality, controversial issues and dilemmas about wom en’s sexuality, etc. I read texts (including a passage of L a Carta a l P apa th a t I fu rth er discuss in chapter 7) describing a specific case where th e central ch aracter is one or m ore M exican woman/women exposing a p a rtic u la r behavior and/or attitude in regard to sexuality. Personal reactions to vignettes have been widely utilized by researchers conducting work on m orality and moral reasoning especially in the fields of psychology and hum an development. In her article “Different Voices, Different Visions: Gender, Culture, and M oral Reasoning” (1994), Carol B. Stack utilized th is technique to conduct research 18 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w ith African American women in order to explore how m oral th in k in g and reasoning is transform ed by the intersections between gender, race, class, and historical contexts. Previously, well-known fe m in is t psychologist, Carol Gilligan, explains in h er book In A D ifferent Voice (1982), how th is research technique allowed her to come to the ground breaking conclusion th a t women’s and m en’ s m oral reasoning and th in k in g is psychologically an d socially developed in contrasting different ways. Finally, after collecting the data, I typed verbatim transcripts of my interview s. I read an d examined th e interview transcripts to identify significant and recurrent themes. Based on th e themes, I categorized and coded m y data in order to develop theoretical analyses between classified m aterials and my theoretical framework. B. Analysis of Data As I gradually scheduled and conducted my interviews, I listened to m y tapes and typed verbatim each one of them on a weekly basis. I engage into this pattern during the entire data collection process. This exercise helped me to establish two stages of data analysis. The first stage unfolded as I progressively conducted each one of m y interview s. The second stage took place after I interviewed all of m y stu d y participants, com pleted th e transcribing process of these interviews, and printed a total of 1,400 single spaced pages containing m y data. The first stage of data analysis consisted of five steps: 1) I review ed th e fieldwork notes (m y personal observations, comments, and reactions) I had w ritten during and imm ediately after my interview with a study participant in order to identify relevant themes; 2) As I typed verbatim the interview, I listened carefully in order to examine my study participant’ s reactions and actual words while talking about 19 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. each one of these specific themes, e.g., rape as first sexual experience, virginity as a form of social capital, abortion: pro-choice women, social networking as a source to resolve sex-related concerns, first sexual experience as pleasurable, sex and family control, among others. 3) I created, identified, and saved separate com puter files for each them e in order to classify inform ation (interview excerpts, quotes) offered by my study participants. 4) I assigned a specific code or category of analysis to each one of these themes, e.g., “danger— rape as first sexual experience.” 5) I printed my files and created separate files (m anila folders) for each one of th ese categories of analysis in order to keep a h ard copy of comparable or sim ilar interview’s excerpt and quotes study participants made with regard to each one of these issues and themes. I consistently followed these five steps process of early analysis based on a technique identified as memo w riting. K athy Charmaz (1983:120) defines memos as “w ritten elaborations o f ideas about th e d ata an d th e coded categories.” L ater on, she explains th is process of early data analysis: Memo w riting takes place throughout the research process starting with the first interviews or observations. These early memos shape aspects of subsequent data collection; th ey point to areas th e re se a rc h e r could explore fu rth e r. (Charmaz, 1983:120-121). By creating these five steps, I developed my own w riting memo technique as I identified and coded other common recurrent them es. Some of these them es included the following: women’s learned fear of sexism, m others’ regional contrasting difference on th e im portance of prem arital virginity, mothers’ attitudes w ith regard to th e sex education they offer to th eir sons, women talking about sex during their conversations w ith their friends a t work, etc Iidentify the files generated during this first stage of analysis as them e files. 20 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. By creating theme files as a technique of data classification and coding, I was able to accomplish a crucial methodological goal indicated by Charm az (1983): to pay close attention and to explore specific research areas in more depth in m y subsequent interview s. For example, as I discovered th a t both a woman’s decision to preserve h er prem arital virginity u n til m arriage and her socially learn ed fear of sexism w ere associated w ith th e expression “ Los hombres te echan en cara cuando no eres virgen (Men throw it in your face w hen you are not a virgin),” I created additional questions while investigating th e theme of losing or preserving virginity before m arriage. Similarly, I expanded on the depth of m y inquiring as I learned from m y study participants about the richness of d ata w ith regard to im m igrant women’ s networking and Mexicanas’ sexuality transform ations. And finally, in the second stage of analysis I used each one of the twelve interview guide sections as a classification criteria to organize th e 1,400 pages of interview data. In this way, I created twelve general categories of analysis: I) general concepts on sexuality, 2) religion and sexuality; 3) sex education in file home; 4) puberty and adolescence; 5) sexuality and the media; 6) sexuality, AIDS, and sexually tran sm itte d diseases; 7) sexuality, im m igration, and cultural differences; 8) sexuality and exposure to social institutions, contexts and netw orks in the U nited States; 9) sex education: cu rren t beliefs and attitudes as a mother; 10) personal reaction to real life situations (vignettes); II) dem ographic information; and 12) interviewee’s personal reaction to the interview. From this exercise, I created a total of 24 com puter files and saved them in a h ard disk. H alf of these files (12) contained th e Jalisco data; the other h alf represented the Mexico City group. I identify each one of these 24 section files as m aster files. 21 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. As I organized and classified my data, I com pared th e inform ation contained in m y theme files an d th e ir corresponding m aster files. From this exercise, m y main topics of analysis emerged as I sim ultaneously reviewed my th eo retical framework. F or exam ple, as I learn ed th a t 11 of m y stu d y p articipants have been exposed to some type of sexual victim ization during th e ir lives and th a t rape for m an y of them h a d been th e ir firs t sexual experience, I decided to adopt th e pleasure-danger continuum th a t I learned in m y Sex a n d Gender class in order to analyze, organize, and explain m y findings. The pleasur e-danger fem inist paradigm became more and more coherent as I learn ed about the other M exicana heterosexuality expressions I gradually discovered: women who h ad experienced th e ir first sexual experience as p leasu rab le; women who h a d been exposed to coercive m arriag e after pregnancy out of wedlock m ade sexual activity visible to their fam ilies; and, women who had lost their prem arital virginity b u t who experienced negative feelings during their first sexual encounters. As I progressively stu d ied and classified m y data, I w as able to selectively discriminate and identify only m aster files th at I would use for this dissertation. In fact, data contained in many of m y m aster files is not included in this project. For example, interview information obtained from questions in section 6 (sexuality, AIDS, and sexually transm itted diseases) and section 10 (participants’ reactions to the m ost of th e vignettes) h as not been integrated in th is dissertation. It proved n o t to be directly relevant to m y analysis of women’s sexuality and imm igration. Consequently, I printed and created hard files (m anila folders) only for m aster files containing the data th a t I was going to analyze. I looked to this more relevant portion of th e data for answ ers to my research questions while gradually visualizing and conceptualizing each one of m y chapters. 22 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I worked on this research project for more th an one academic year, working on a full-tim e basis. I conducted 40 interviews, transcribed and examined each one of them, created them e and m aster files, and organized chapters during this time. This seemingly endless effort was m ade possible thanks to a dissertation fellowship offered to me in 1997 by the Social Science Research Council through its Sexuality Research Fellowship Program. B ut in order to make this privilege even more enchanting, at the earliest analytical stages, I thought about using a com puter software in order to facilitate my analytical tasks. However, I learned very soon about the inconvenience of adopting a computerized program as an analytical tool. First, given m y limited skills in the field of computers, I was afraid th a t formatting m y d ata into a computer program would be costly in term s of tim e and energy. And second, since all of m y data was in Spanish, I was afraid a U.S.-made software would not be appropriate to read and classify d ata w ritten in a foreign language. Instead, I developed both stages of data analysis and my analytical techniques based on John Lofland’s and Lyn H. Lofland’s methodological recommendations discussed in the A n a lyzin g Data section of th e ir book A n a lyzin g Social Settings: A Guide To Qualitative Observation and Analysis (1995:179-203). I consulted both K athy Charmaz’ s article “The Grounded Theory Method: An Explication and Interpretation” (1983:109-126) and David Silverman’ s chapter “Text” of his book Interpreting Q ualitative Data: Methods for A nalysing Talk, Text, and Interaction (1994:59-89). C . Qualitative Research: Methodological ConaiH firntinns and limitations As I was engaged in my analytical tasks, I became keenly aware of crucial methodological considerations. F irst, being an insider (Mexican, immigrant, female, and heterosexual) m ight have influenced the ways in which 23 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I designed an d conducted m y interviews and, coded an d analyzed m y data. From a positivist approach, m y own biases (i.e., being contaminated) m ig h t have offered me some methodological disadvantages. For example, I cam e of age as a senorita while being afraid of prem arital sex. I was exposed in m y grupos de am igas to a particular fear: ‘ M en talk among themselves about th e ir sexual adventures and, during these conversations, m en denigrate the women they have sex with.” Therefore, conducting qualitative research on M exicana heterosexuality— with the explicit objective of explaining th e sexual behavior of other heterosexual M exicanas—automatically reflected back on me. Alternatively, being an insider m ay signify a m agnified strength a s it provided m e w ith historical, social, and cultural backgrounds with regard to th is and m any issues and concerns about M exicana heterosexuality. My own personal background made me particularly sensitive to exploring some specific issues w ith regard to m y participants’ need to preserve prem arital virginity, in addition to m any other sexuality-related themes. In other words, being an insider provided me with deep ‘ insider understandings” (Lofland & Lofland, 1995:61). Beyond this evident advantage, I was determ ined to be a ta c tfu l researcher who is eager to benefit from being an insider, b u t who is also sensitive enough to become an outsider along the en tire research process. Being a th erap ist helped m e to monitor myself w ith regard to my own biases and preconceptions about M exicana sexuality. Being a n outsider m eant to learn to th in k critically about m y own research as I received and examined th e feedback generously offered to me by Latino(a) and non-Latino(a) professors, colleagues, an d friends who thoroughly read and critiqued my work on a frequent basis. In th is w ay, I gradually le a rn e d to b e a researcher w ho “...wishes n o t to be one or the other b u t to be both or either as th e research demands* (Lofland and Lofland, 1995:23). 24 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Being an in sid er offered me another advantage. M y self-disclosed nationality, full nam e, physical appearance, an d language became an asset in a highly xenophobic and anti-im m igrant social atm osphere while interviewing Mexicanas living in Los Angeles. Potential interviewees seemed to perceive me as a harm less M exicana attending college, a notion th a t apparently helped me to conduct the present study w ith no obstacles. A second m ethodological consideration is represented by debates involving two concepts: reliability and va lid ity. F irst, “Q ualitative studies appear especially vulnerable to criticism because they do not proceed from fixed designs,” states J a c k K atz (1983:128) in his exam inations o f th e four “R’s” th a t challenge q u alitativ e research: represen tativ en ess, reactivity, reliability, and replicability. Accordingly, reliability and replicability are difficult to attain in m y qualitative research project. B ut m y stu d y was not designed to offer standardized and fixed responses th a t can be obtained or replicated by different researchers or by the sam e scientist on m ore th a n one intervention—a concept know n as reliability (Silverman, 1994:145). Instead, my m ain purpose was to conduct in-depth exam inations and analyses of the socially constructed meanings attached to w h at heterosexual M exicanas living in the United S tates report they believe (ideologies, beliefs) and take into practice (actual sexual behavior) w ith regard to central aspects of th e ir sex lives. Thus, validity or th e search for tru e testim onies th a t m ay accurately represent the social construction of Mexicana heterosexuality is em phasized in this study. L astly, I used a q u alitativ e m ethodology to investigate sexuality because it is a complicated construct established, formulated and transform ed by, through, and w ithin social practice (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Gagnon, 1977; Weeks, 1985; Plum m er, 1995; Seidm an, 1994). By using a q u an titativ e 25 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. methodology (i.e., a fixed designed) in order conduct a sociological study about the heterosexualities of Mexicana im m ig rants, I would disregard th e fluid nature underlying the social construction of human sexuality. For decades, the field of sociology of sexualities has emphasized this principle. Thus, positivist assum ptions (objectivity, social re a lity as a static process th a t can be m easured and replicated, and the belief th a t we can best know the social world through distance and detachment) are difficult to sustain for a sociological study of M exicana heterosexuality as p a rt of the imm igrant experience. After finishing the study and critically examining m y research work, I was able to identify some of the lim itations of the present project. First, since all of m y interview s were conducted in Spanish (only the excerpt and quotes used in m y analysis were translated into English), I discovered th a t much of the emotional m eaning and tone of th e participants’ stories were lost in the tran slatio n process. If analyses h ad been made in S panish, and if the dissertation had also been w ritten in Spanish, this would have dram atically increased validity. As I further discuss in my conclusion, in the discussion of clinical implications, a person’ s first language is the one in which emotions and feelings are im printed and much of th e nuances and m eaning in Spanish are lost in tran slatio n . I attem pted to save these processes by inserting expressions in Spanish—something th a t was reported as exhausting by some of my monolingual English speaking colleagues and professors who read my dissertation. Second, th e nature of th e present study did not allow me to assess how the specific age of a participant a t time of im m igration m ight have affected her w ith regard to her sex life. Similarly, the im pact of length of time in the U nited S tates on the sex life of these women was impossible to be assessed w ith this sm all of a sample size. Third, my study consisted of “one time interview” m aterials. A longitudinal technique might have contributed to 26 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. examine th e changes women experience through a specific period of time (e.g., five or 10 years). I may consider this issue in th e future. And fourth, a complete outsider might have conducted the present study in a different way, would have created different categories and them es of analysis, and m ight have reached different conclusions. If I had to conduct the same study all over again, I would incorporate the following aspects. First, I would conduct a pilot study in Mexico by interviewing women who are thinking about m igrating to th e U nited States. I would incorporate these interviews as p art of a longitudinal study to assess changes over tim e after they have lived for five or 10 years in th e U nited States. Second, I would ask about fewer them es and I would address other areas such as women’ s sexual fantasies. Third, I would conduct one or two focus groups at my sampling sites in order to explore the pleasur e-danger paradigm as a group. And fourth, I would explore the pleasure extreme in more depth. I would be interested in exploring the mechanisms heterosexual Mexicanas create in order to enjoy th e ir sexual encounters in apparently oppressive circum stances, among others. D. Conducting Sex Research with T V f t y g i r a n Women Mexicanas talking about their sex fives?! As I conducted the present study, I discussed m y project and research findings w ith some colleagues in both the U nited States and Mexico. Some of these conversations were informal and some of them took place within the context of conferences, colloquiums, and sem inars w here I presented my research study. During my conversations with them —some of them Latino(a) and/or M exican scholars doing academic work in th e social sciences—I was consistently interrogated about my sex research w ith Mexican women. “How did you do it to get Mexican women to talk about sex?” “Aren’ t Mexican women 27 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. kind of close-minded and conservative to ta lk about sex?” “I am M exican, I would never talk to anybody about sex! How do you seduce them to ta lk w ith you about all that?” were some of the expressions of curiosity and skepticism I received from m any of these researchers. M y clinical training provided me w ith in-depth interviewing skills, an essential p art of conducting sex research w ith M exican women. D uring m y clinical training, I learned how to do sexual inquiry from m y clinical supervisors and all m y Latina and Latino clients. While conducting clinical work, including sex therapy, w ith each one of them, I learned th a t by facilitating a safe, respectful, and appropriate atm osphere w ith m y interviewees, any M exican woman would be comfortable to talk to me about h e r sex life. While following these guidelines, I was able to help m y study participants to feel protected w hile disclosing th eir in tim ate lives. L ater on, as I began to conduct the interview s for this study, I became m ore sensitive and skillful a t how to approach and pursue w ith softness, sensibility, n a tu ra l touch, an d deep kindness m y endless curiosity as a sex researcher while exploring w ith tru e respect each one of these women’ s sex lives. Interview ing and conducting sex research w ith Mexican women gradually became for me an act of expressing genuine care and concern for them as women. From m y clinical training, I learned to conduct circular questioning, to utilize incomplete sentences to stim ulate dialogue, “to join” m y clients (i.e., to establish rapport or a tru stin g relationship), and to express em pathy and care. 3 E ach one of these elem ents became crucial during my interviews and helped m e to become deeply involved w ith each one of m y study participants while exploring and helping them to reco n stru c t th eir sex lives for me beyond one-sentence answ ers and monosyllables. Before beginning with my interviewing, I was already grateful to th e L atinas participating in the support group and my m any M exicana 28 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. clients for offering me w hat I call “m y A, B, Cs” of Mexican im m igrant women’ s sexuality. L ater on, after I finished all of m y 40 interviews, I experienced a perm anent state of excitem ent for m any weeks while realizing they had been extrem ely generous to me: 40 M exican women have offered to me the entire alphabet of their sexualities. Unquestionably, m y own personal growth, long-term psychotherapy, and m y own sexual evolution helped m e to conduct th e p resen t study. This project would have been extrem ely difficult for me to conduct five or 10 years ago. By feeling more comfortable w ith m y own body and my own sexuality as a never-m arried heterosexual woman in h e r late 30s, I was emotionally prepared to explore the m ost sensitive and delicate areas in a wom an’s sex life. In addition, m y personal development helped me to utilize m yself as a source in order to answer, at all tim es, m any of th e personal questions m y interviewees h ad kept in silence about m y own sex and personal life. At th e end of each one of m y interviews, m y interviewees surprised me w ith their countless personal questions and reactions. I was asked m an y times if I was a virgin, if I had children, if I was m arried or divorced, if I believed in m asturbation, oral sex, and anal sex, if I thought th a t hom osexuality was sinful or not, if I had an opinion about abortion, condom and contraceptive use, if I was a Mexicana or a Chicana, if I was Catholic, if I had ever cohabitated or if I was presently cohabitating w ith a gringo, and if I was satisfied w ith my sex life. One of the women, Tomasita Uribe, after we finished up th e interview looked a t me closely and exclaimed, “jH ijole Gloria!, tu vida sexual debe de ser bien chingona, mira! n i siquiera tienes espinillas o arrugasl (Gee whiz, Gloria! you m u st have a fucking good sex life, look! you do not even have acne or wrinkles!)” Salome Tovar asked me if I had a secret form ula to share with her so she could be able to have sexual fantasies or a t le ast one sexual dream of Jorge Rivero, a 29 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Mexican sex sym bol. “Trato y tratopero pos no puedof gcomo le hago? jdigam e como, senorita! (I try, and try, b u t I can’ t, how do I do it?, tell m e how, young lady!)” exclaimed Salome while sharing w ith me some of her sexual frustrations and explaining some of her feelings of sexual deprivation after getting divorced m any years ago. O ther women, especially those educating adolescent daughters, asked m e about my m other’ s secret to m ake me stay in high school and to go to college. Some women expressed m any of their concerns about educating their children and asked me to give them basic consejos or advice to m ake sure th e sex education they w ere providing for th eir children was appropriate and well-informed. A t all tim es, I did not w ait nor had a doubt to answer w ith complete honesty each one of their questions. Interestingly, after carefully and gradually opening up about my own personal life in order to answer each question, many of them did not let me finish or complete my first sentence and ra th e r interrupted m e to continue w ith th e ir own sexual experiences, fantasies, dreams, fears, and true confessions. The interviewing experience became a seductive and engaging process of sexual exploration for both parts. For me, I could not stop exploring these women’ s ceaseless sexual stories. For them , talking about th e ir sexual stories became a stimulating experience, a jo u rn ey of sexual self-discovery, an experience of sexual reaffirmation. B u t for some of th e study participants, this process became their first and only hope to find professional help and heal painful emotional wounds. As m any of these women shared th eir sexual experiences w ith me, m any trusted me w ith their tears, th e ir recalcitrant pain, fear, anger, and confusion as th ey gradually disclosed th e feelings linked to m any forms of sexual victimization they experienced in th e past. As illustrated in Table It a and Table IE b, 11 out of the 40 women in the study (27.5%) experienced at 30 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. some point in their lives some type of sexual violence. For eight of these eleven women, rape including incest represented th e ir first sexual experience. As these rape survivors disclosed th eir pain to me, I redefined the course of my interviews. At all times, I offered them the option to have the tap e recorder turned, off while disclosing th eir excruciating experiences. Even though none of these women objected to th e use of a tape recorder as they shared their pain w ith me, out of personal respect, I decided to in terru p t some of m y interviews especially w hen th e ir feelings of pain and em otional d istress becam e overwhelmingly intense. These pauses during the interview provided me w ith a space to m ake strategic clinical interventions while validating th e feelings of pain, anger, and rage em erging as they revealed such intim ate experiences to me. M ost of my interviews w ith this particular group of eleven women lasted longer th a n expected. W ith some of them, I conducted my interview s in an average of three hours. However, w ith most of the sexual violence survivors, I had to extend them for one or two more hours in order to m ake clinical interventions as a therapist. A t the tim e of my interviews, none of these survivors had received any type of professional help to cope w ith the sexual abuse traum a. For all of them , participating in th is study represented th eir first time talking to a clinician about their victimization experiences. All of these women described the interview as a cathartic experience. I offered each one of them a list of referrals to professionals providing psychotherapeutic services for women survivors of sexual violence. 31 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table II a The First Sexual Experience Study Participants from the State of Jalisco Age Age F ir s t tim e had Intercourse: R A P E (R .) o r fir s t tim e had at present Before A fter H as never had Incest (I ) o r Intercourse tim e marriage marriage Intercourse Sexual abuse (voluntary) as a child (S A ) as her fir s t sexual experience 1 Amparo Bdrcenas 21 45 X 2 Beatriz Correa 22 33 X 3 Candelaria de la Rosa 16 36 4 Deyanira Estevez 16-18 41 X 5 Erendira Fuentes Not yet 32 6 Felicia Gdmez 19 37 X 7 Graciela Hemdndez 22 32 X 8 Hortencia Ibarra 14 33 X 9 Idalia Jintenez 21 30 X 10 Juanita Loreto 19 30 X 11 Lorena Mdrquez 22 34 X 12 Margarita Nufiez 25-26 39 X 13 Nora Ovalle 28 33 14 Oralia Pacheco 18 39 X 15 Patricia Quezada 22 34 X 16 Romelia Sdnchez 14 32 X 17 Salonte Tovar 15 43 X 18 Tomasita Uribe 14 30 19 Victoria Ydflez 16 34 20 Xdchitl Arteaga 23 34 X Rape (R ) o r Incest (I) after fir s t sexual experience R , I R R R U) to Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table 1 1 b The First Sexual Experience Study Participants from Mexico City Age Age F ir s t tim e had Intercourse: fir s t time had at present Before A fter H as never had Intercourse tim e marriage marriage Intercourse (voluntary) S ex Abuseasa C h ild (S A ), R A P E (R ), o r V iolent Rape (R )o r Sexual A ssault V iolent Sexual w ithout penetration A ssault (V S A ) (V S A ), or Incest ( I )as after fir s t sex u a l fir s t sexual experience experience 1 Azucena Bermudez 16 43 X 2 Bel^n Carrera 9 43 SA, I R 3 Cecilia Duarte 16 32 X 4 Diamantina Estrada 19 31 X SA, I (*) 5 Emilia Falcdn 19 32 X 6 Fernanda Galindo 18 31 X VSA VSA 7 Gabriela Hurtado 17 30 X 8 Lolita Iglesias 19-20 26 X 9 Irene Ju&rez 25 38 X 10 Jimena Lombardo 18 40 X 11 Macaria Negrete Not yet 37 X VSA 12 Norma Ortega 25-27 38 X 13 Olga Ponce 25-27 32 X 14 Irasema Quiroga 19 39 R R 15 Rosalia Silva 19 40 X 16 Soled ad Torres 21 27 X 17 Trinidad Urbina 17 40 X R 18 Yadira Vdlez 20 41 X 19 Zenaida Alemdn 19 33 X 20 Azalea Zapata 18-19 43 X (*) Both SA and I without w w penetration F in ally , conducting sex research w ith M exican women raise s controversial issues especially when the interview is conducted in the apparent privacy of th e ir houses. Being interview ed about sex in th eir hom es represented for some of th e women a challenge to be honest while being cautious an d discrete especially w hen fam ily m em bers were present. I interviewed some of these women in their kitchens or their living rooms w hen their relatives were n ot a t home. However, when th a t was not the case, m any of them identified th eir bedrooms as the safest place to be interviewed about their sex lives. W hen I went to interview Yadira Velez a t her home, I was greeted by her children and her husband. She introduced me to them as a counselor a t th e clinic while showing m e h er many lithographs of th e Virgin of Guadalupe and other images of Virgins hanging on the wall. Then, she gradually led me to a bedroom while telling me in a whispering tone of voice, “If we are going to talk about sex, well... we need to go to the bedroom.” She opened the door to a small and crowded bedroom decorated w ith more religious images, a t least one crucifix, and m any stuffed animals. Then, she laid down on the floor while complaining about th e hot summer day and invited m e to sit next to her and asked me to start w ith m y interview. Shortly after, she said she felt tired and jumped onto a twin size bed where she laid down. I rem ained seated on the floor while stretching m y exhausted back m any tim es against her bed in a scene th at made me feel like an orthodox psychoanalyst and h er patient dining a free association session. I experienced a sim ilar scenario w ith more women. W hen I interviewed Graciela Hernandez, I m et with her a t one of her friend’s house. Graciela complained about her lack of privacy at home and invited me to m eet her at a friend’ s house where her friend would offer us a bedroom to use in order for me to interview her. As w ith Yadira, Graciela did not wait long to take me 34 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. to her friend’ s bedroom. “Right on! The bedroom is the ideal place to talk about sex,” she stated as she laid down while padding th e queen size bed and inviting me to sit down next to her. As with Yadira, I rem ained seated next to Graciela during th e en tire interview while feeling, once again, as a F re u d ian psychoanalyst in search of this woman’s innerm ost fears and fantasies. I experienced sim ilar circumstances w ith Rosalia Silva, Romelia Sanchez, and Fernanda Galindo, who identified th eir bedrooms as th e ideal places to be interviewed. Conducting sex research interview s in these women’ s bedrooms m ay highlight some polemic issues (e.g., not establishing “scientific” boundaries w ith a study participant, getting “too personal” w ith an inform ant, etc.). However, it offered privacy, safety, and a sense of protection to these women while providing them w ith an apparent symbolic freedom and a censure-free scenario to talk about th eir sex lives. II. P urpose of th e study This qualitative study provides an in-depth feminist exploration of the ways in which M exican im m igrant women socially construct and consistently reconstruct th eir sexualities and sex lives as p a rt of th eir im m igration experience in the U nited States. The study has four goals: To expand on our knowledge on th e dynamics underlying the sexuality of Mexican im m igrant women: th e social, cultural, and historical contexts in which sexuality was established as well as the sexuality transitions during and after their m igration and settlem ent experiences. To capture th e voices of th ese women in order to dem ystify outdated, restrictiv e, and stereotyped conceptions still p rev alen t on Latina/Mexican women sexuality. 35 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. To b rin g heterosexual M exican women’s sexual practices to th e fore in order to exam ine heterosexuality as a political institution in which m en dominate, oppress, and disempower women (Rich, 1980; Accad, 1991; Segal, 1994; Katz, 1995). To respond to th e freq u en tly cited need expressed by L atin a scholars from different disciplines for theoretical and em pirical analyses of th e sexuality of M exican women living in th e U nited States (i.e., Amaro. 1988; Argiielles & Rivero, 1993; Espln, 1996). W hile attem pting to achieve each one of these goals, m y dissertation is divided into seven chapters. C hapter 1 examines m y theoretical fram ew ork while addressing th e importance of exploring heterosexual Mexicanas’ sex lives due to their prevalent absence in two areas of the academic world: imm igration studies and, gender and women’s sexuality studies. Im m igration studies on Mexican women are recent and desexualized. T hat is, th ey have exam ined m any im portant aspects of th eir lives, b u t not th eir sexualities.4 Similarly, gender and women’ s sexuality studies have offered inform ative and brilliant exam inations on gay and lesbian sexualities b u t hetero-norm ativity h as n o t allowed academics to problematize heterosexuality until recently. 5 And even though fem ale heterosexuality h as been th e object of im portant fem inist examinations and debates, th e experiences of N orth Am erican and E uropean middle class heterosexual women have been at the center of these analyses.6 A sociological study on M exicana heterosexuality is incomplete if it does not include an exam ination on virginity. Chapter 2 offers m y central argum ent on Mexican women’s need to preserve prem arital virginity: far beyond religious obedience an d th e cult of virginity historically prom oted b y the Catholic Church, M exican women socially construct virginity as a life-enhancing 36 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. resource. I introduce th e concept of capital fem enino to argue th a t prem arital virginity is a form of capital possessing a social exchange value. Mexican women, as a subordinate social group struggling to improve living conditions and opportunities in a patriarchal society, use capital femenino to enhance their life opportunities. In addition, a need to preserve prem arital virginity interacts w ith gender dynamics in two ways: 1) a woman’ s need to preserve her virginity until marriage is deeply rooted in a punishing ethic of family honor and respect; and 2) a woman’s need to preserve h er virginity is linked to a socially learned fear of machismo (sexism) and men’s expectation of m arrying virgin women. Interestingly, th e majority of the women (70%) in the study were not virgins w hen they got m arried. Their sexual stories with regard to loss of virginity suggest the existence of multiple female heterosexualities w ithin the context of Mexican society. T hat is, these women’s testimonies unm ask first, th e m oral contradictions and social m echanism s of sexual oppression heterosexual women experience while being educated in a patriarchal society. And second, they offer th e possibility for women to explore sexual agency, pleasure, and autonomy in oppressive social contexts. Finally, both preserving or losing virginity, through social constructed symbols (e.g. the white dress) transfigure a woman’ s virginity from intim ate and private into a public, family, and social affair. C hapter 3 is an extension of th e previous chapter. This chapter explores th e sexuality tran sitio n s th a t m others in th e study experience as they educate their daughters w ith regard to sexuality in general, and virginity in particular. Across generations, these mothers transform a woman’ s education w ith regard to sexuality from a controlling and punishing ethic of respect for the fam ily into an ethic of protection of their daughters. Based on th e gender an d sexual oppression experienced by them selves as women, m others pass on to their daughters, via motherhood, th eir personal 37 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. ideology w ith reg ard to virginity. I introduce the concept of machismos regionales or regional patriarchies (urban versus rural) to illu strate how m others educated in social contexts characterized by em phasized gender inequalities and rigid sexual moralities (e.g. pueblos or small towns) are more likely to assign a higher value to virginity as a capital femenino while educating their daughters th a n those mothers educated in social contexts w here sexism is disguised or less intense (e.g. u rb an contexts or large cities). I also dem onstrate how double morality standards or la doble m oral are alive and well in both Mexican society and im m ig ran t communities as well as mothers’ involuntary participation in the social reproduction of m achism o while mothering their sons. Chapters 5 and 6 examine the sexuality transformations experienced by the women in th e study after migrating and establishing a perm anent life in th e U nited S tates. Beyond traditional argum ents on M exican women’s acculturation and changes in their sexual behavior, chapter 5 looks a t how Mexican women’s sexuality and sex lives are transform ed by th eir social and economic conditions in the new country. Besides these social circumstances, chapter 6 exposes th e sexuality transform ations Mexican women experience as they converse w ith each other w ithin th e im m igrant women’s community and a culture of sexuality they actively create while establishing new social metrics with regard to sexual morality and sexuality. Lastly, ch ap ter 7 explores th e interconnections betw een sexuality, religion, and sexual morality. This chapter examines how and w hy Mexican im m igrant women m ay actively challenge, rebel against, and reform ulate Catholic sexual m orality based on th eir own experiences as heterosexual women. Even though the overwhelming m ajority of the women participating in th is stu d y described th e religious in stitu tio n as a m orally fractured 38 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. organization and as needing socially progressive changes, these women do not abandon th e ir faith or religious practices. Instead, they selectively reconcile these disjunctures in two ways: 1) th ey either establish a division between both th e “sex/sexuality/the body” versus “religion/the C hurch/the spirit” as autonomous and unconnected personal dimensions in a woman’ s life; or 2) th ey assert personal agency by selectively embracing, incorporating, andrecondling into th eir sex lives only specific m oral prescriptions according to their own personal judgm ent and social circumstances. N O T E S 1 The Pure Love Alliance is located on 305 Madison Ave, Suite 1166, New York, NY 10165; e-mail: pureali@aol.com; website: www.purelove.org. 2 Marta Rivas is the author of 'L a entrevista a profundldad: un abordaje en el cam po de la sexualldad." 1996. In Ivonne Szasz's and Susana Lerner's book: Para com prender la subjefividad: Investigacidn cualitatfva en salud reproductiva y sexualidad. Mexico: E i Colegio d e Mexico. 3 Circular questioning is an interviewing technique utilized in the field of family therapy. The technique is characterized by a curious and harmless therapist using the interviewee's responses to crea te new questions and stimulate in-depth inquiring in her/his research expedition on family life. For more information on circular questioning, see Nichois, Michael P. and Richard C. Schwartz, 1991, Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods. N eedham Heights: Allyn and Bacon, pp. 137, 140-141, 386. and 434-436. 4 In my next chapter, I exam ine som e of these immigration studies on Mexican women. Please refer to Note 2 at the en d o f next chapter for som e references about this particular topic. 5 'Hetero-normativity is the myth that plain vanilla, m onogam ous heterosexual sex is the norm" (Grant, 1999). See University of Southern California, Center for Feminist Research Newsletter, Spring 1999. Volume 11, Number 2, p. 11. Important examinations analyze th e experience of hom osexuals including Latina/Chicana lesbians and Latino/Chicano gay men. For instance, sex research on Latin Americans and the literature on Latina/Chicanas h ave exam ined m ale and fem ale homosexuality and discussed painful hom ophobic practices (i.e.. Carrier, 1985, 1995; M oraga & Anzaldua, 1981; M oraga, 1983; Arguelles & Rich, 1984, 1985; Rosenberg, 1993; Almaguer, 1993; Espfn, 1986; Anzaldua, 1987 an d 1993; Dfaz, 1998). Scholars such as Janet Hailey (1993), Chrys Ingraham (1994), Lynne Segal (1994), Jonathan N. Katz (1995), an d Michael Messner (1996) a d v o c a te critical examinations of heterosexuality in the power structure. 6 S ee important feminist exam inations conducted by Brownmiller (1975); Millett, (1970); Dworkin, (1981, 1987); Vance. (1984); Haug, (1987); MacKinnon, (1993); Segal and McIntosh, (1992); and, Segal (1994). 39 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 1 Twice Forgotten: Heterosexual M exicanas and their Sex Lives in the U nited States “I w ork and support m yself so I do not have to have sex w ith m y husband if I don’ t feel like doing it,” Azalea Z apata stated assertively. Then she commented w ith a chuckle, “In Mexico, I worked in a factory b u t over here I became an apartm ent m anager and before he used to do whatever he w anted to. If he w anted to have sex, then I had to go right th ere and do it, either day or night, I h ad no choice. B u t now, all th a t is over!, now all th a t is history!” The testim onies of M exican women like A zalea challenge th e research on the sexuality of L atinas based on acculturation paradigms (e.g., Guerrero- Pavich, 1986; M arin, Gomez, and H earst, 1993; F ra ser et al. 1998). M ainly conducted in the behavioral sciences, the acculturation perspective resonates with assim ilationist sociological paradigm s by a ssu m in g th at as L atinas and Latinos are exposed to an d adopt or acculturate into m ain stream society’s values and attitudes (i.e., m odern and liberal W hite/North American dom inant culture), th ey are m ore likely to experience changes in th eir previously established sexual behaviors and attitudes (i.e., conservative and traditional H ispanic/Latin A m erican culture). However, for th e women in th is study, exposure to m ain stream cu ltu re and society is n eith er a d irect nor an im m ediate force responsible for any transform ation in their sex lives. Instead, 40 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. as illustrated by Azalea, a Mexican im m ig ra n t’s sex life is connected to complex gendered socially constructed dynamics. For the Mexicanas in this study, female heterosexuality echoes w ith extensive examinations of hum an sexuality as a complex construct created and transform ed by, through, and w ithin social practice (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Gagnon, 1977; Weeks, 1985; Plummer, 1995; Seidman, 1994) and through th e expression of power relations (Foucault, 1977). The acculturation perspective is beginning to influence recent examinations of U.S. Latino sexuality in th e sociology of sexualities scholarship (e.g., Schwartz & R utter, 1998). Based on m y study findings, th is chapter analyzes these uncritically accepted traditional examinations and offers an altern ativ e fem inist sociological perspective to stu d y th e im pact of immigration and life on th e sexuality of heterosexual Mexicanas. The proposed fram ew ork establishes theoretical connections betw een two areas of sociological inquiry th a t have excluded these women’s sex lives: imm igration and gender & sexuality studies. This model develops a perspective of gender and power relations to examine M exicana heterosexualities as a socially constructed phenom ena th a t interw eave w ith the social, economic, and everyday life contexts and experiences im m igrant women live in th e new country. It perceives Mexicanas as active social agents who construct and reconstruct their sex lives through and w ithin multiple social practices of gender inequality taking place w ithin th eir im m igrant communities as they unpack their “sexuality luggage”— Mexicanas’ gendered sexual ideologies and practices previously established in Mexico. 4 1 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I. Im m igration Studies fem ale sexuality, a virginal territory Sociological research of Mexican women exam ining th eir immigration experiences to th e U nited States received special attention during th e last three decades.1 These studies have explored im portant aspects of Mexican immigrant women’s lives (i.e., fam ily gender relations, labor m arkets, etc.), but not their sexualities.2 There is clear evidence th at Mexican im m igrant women, besides working and surviving, do in fact have a sex life: 1) L atina teenagers of Mexican descent represent the ethnic group triggering a dram atic increase in teenage pregnancy more th an any other social group in the nation (Healy, 1 9 9 8 ) .3 2) M exican families are changing th e demographics in the country w hich m eans th a t M exican women a re sexually active. L atinos represent alm ost 30 m illion of th e U nited States population, 60% of them are of Mexican origin. It is predicted th a t by the year 2050, 1 out of 4 U.S. b o m citizens are going to have at least one L atin American a n c e s t o r . 4 In spite of th e desexualized n atu re of im m igration studies on Mexican women and m en, interdisciplinary L atino and L atin a sexuality studies incorporating th e im m igration experience have been conducted based on specific paradigms. From the least to th e most influential and prolific, three broad im m igration paradigm s can be identified w ith th ese studies: 1) ethnic/cultural resilience, 2) transnationalism , and 3) assimilation. A . Fthni n/Cultural Resilience Models resisting change “Mexicans have a hundred ways of saying no w ithout ever saying it,” prom inent L atina clinician and academic Celia J. Falicov identifies as a popular proverb in h er 1982 article M exican F am ilies. In term s of sexuality, how would Mexican im m igrant women say “No” to potentially contrasting or conflicting sexuality-related ideologies and practices encountered in their new 42 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. social contexts? Would th ey seize, protect, an d reinforce th eir sexuality luggage as th ey live these experiences? Why? How? Sociological exam inations of M exicana sexuality based on ethnic/cultural resilience paradigm s w ould reflect on th e history of anti-assim ilationist social struggles w itnessed since th e 1960s Chicano m ovem ent (Omi & W in an t, 1994:108-109) an d th e “cu ltu ra l L atinization” observed in th e U S S outhw est since th e 1970s (G utierrez, 1998:315). E ven though sociological studies based on th is perspective have not been conducted, they would identify imm igrant women as reclaim ing and embracing the previously established traditional sociocultural ideals associated with their sexuality as women. A single im m igrant w om an might decide to follow previously learned ideals about preserving her virginity until m arriage while w itnessing th e AIDS epidemic in the new country; a M exican im m igrant m other m ight promote virginity as a moral value in h er daughters as a way to protect them from th e increasing num ber of pregnant adolescent Latinas so prevalent in her community. While women in this study did in fact say to identify w ith these ideologies and begin to explain th e ir corresponding rationale behind it, the in te n t of exam ining th eir sexualities based on exclusive ethnic/cultural resilience paradigm s assumes th a t M exican culture is monolithic and static. In addition, it m ay obscure the social richness and m ultiple gendered sociological nuances interlocking with their sex lives. In ad d itio n , it id en tifies M exican c u ltu re as th e ce n tral th e o re tic a l conceptualization within which Mexican women become passive social agents who o u t of some sort of social or cultural fear ju s t readapt to previously established sociocultural prescriptions on fem ale sexuality. And lastly, even though th is perspective is validated by researchers who have found M exican American adolescent women to be traditional and conservative in their sexual attitudes (e.g., Padilla & O’Grady, 1987; Padilla & Baird, 1991), it has the risk 43 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of reinforcing cu ltu ra lly stereotyped conceptions of L a tin a women and traditional and monolithic perspectives on th e Mexican/Latino family (egDiaz- Guerrero, 1955,1994; Paz, [1950] 1987;Pefialosa, 1968;Paniagua, 1994)t B. Transnational Models sexualities in circular flux across borders Recent interdisciplinary studies on L atina and Latino sexuality are incorporating im m igration from a transnational perspective as an im portant context in which sexualities are organized. Arglielles and Rivero (1993) offer the only study on L atina sexuality from th is perspective and illustrate how transnational m igration, both to th e U nited States and re tu rn to Mexico, constitute for th e L atina im m igrant one more strategy to cope w ith or escape from gender and sexual abuse and heterosexist oppression. Arguelles and Rivero expose how, on one hand, a Latina im m igrant escapes from Guatemala to the U.S. in order to avoid her husband’ s sexual and physical abuse. On the other hand, a n im m igrant woman goes back to Mexico C ity after her brother—who sexually molested her as a child—migrates to the United States and attem pts to continue practicing the sam e sexually abusive behavior. After being eaposed to her alcoholic and abusive father in Mexico City, she decides to come back to the United States b u t now to a big city (Los Angeles) in order “to get lost” and avoid her abusive brother. These stories illustrate how sexualities m ediate and connect w ith m igration and re tu rn migration dynam ics for M exican women. S im ilarly, recent stu d ies on Latino homosexuals and transnational m igration examine the m ultiple connections between sexuality and the immigration experience. Sex research on the experience of Latino hom osexuals, the AIDS epidemic, and transnational m igration provides im portant resources for an understanding of the dynamics between sexuality and m igration. Carrier 44 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. (1995) exam ines how the traditional “activo/pasivo” dichotomy (dominant or anal ins ertive/submis sive or anal receptive) is transformed by migration to the United S tates. He illustrates how Mexican gay m en experience changes in traditional gender roles during th eir sexual encounters which result in the creation of a th ird category: intemacionales. Internationales have no sexual role preference and play both anal insertive and receptive. 5 Sim ilarly, Bronfman and Lopez Moreno (1996) examine how m igrants from Michoacan (homosexual men, and heterosexual men and women) have learned a diversity of sexual practices during migration. Studies based on th e tran sn atio n al m igration model illu strate the im portance of exploring sex u ality an d im m igration as interconnected phenom ena. For some of th e M exicanas participating in th is study, “transnational m igrant circuits” (Rouse, 1996:254) explain th e following: 1) Mexican im m igrant women have the potential to offer the m eans to help their relatives living in Mexico to become sexually literate (e.g. women offering HIV/AIDS education); 2) M exican im m igrant women embracing progressive sexual ideologies feel reassured in their perspectives while being confronted during th eir visits to Mexico b y th e sexually oppressive experiences of their female relatives living back home (e.g. women witnessing m arital infidelity); and, 3) Mexican immigrant women have the potential to be influenced in their sex lives as th ey expose their sexualities to their relatives and/or close Mends living in Mexico (e.g., women being advised on contraceptive methods). An increasingly popular perspective in the immigration literature, a transnational perspective explains central aspects of th e fluidity of M exican women’s sexualities an d the continuing, circular, and interm inable n atu re of their transform ations beyond borders. Yet, it is incomplete if these examinations do not incorporate the gendered social processes and complexities th a t define 45 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. those dynamics in their transnational com m u n itie s. Thus, a bridging of both im m igration and gender & sexuality fields is necessary for a comprehensive fem inist exam ination of M exicana heterosexualities beyond borders. Based upon Hondagneu-Sotelo’s (1994) exam inations of gender as a dim ension of power relations th a t shape and organize m igration, C antu (1997) defines sexuality as “a dimension of power th at—sim ilarly to gender—also shapes and organizes processes of m igration and modes of incorporation.” C antu cites specific ways to apply th e resulting integration betw een both immigration and sexuality fields. C. Assimilation Models “ sexual acculturation” within mainstream society Research finally em erging on the sexuality and sex lives of U.S. Latinas and L atinos is located prim arily in psychology and/or behavioral sciences. M ostly inform ed by th e acculturation model established in the early 1980s (Padilla, 1980), this sexuality research associates changes in Latina women’s sexuality (behavior and attitudes) w ith a c c u l t u r a t i o n . 6 The acculturation level is m easured by the utilization of instrum ents (survey questionnaires) called acculturation scales. ? The prolific and highly respected work produced by the various research team s formed by B arbara VanOss M arin and Gerardo M arin exemplifies this tendency in th e field of Latina an d Latino sexuality research. Sex research based on th e acculturation model perceives the sexuality of Latinas and Latinos as a unidimensional en tity th a t is transformed along a continuum between both a H ispanic or Latin A m erican sexuality (traditional and conservative) and a N orth American sexuality (m odem and liberal). 8 Based on this analytical fram ework of sexual acculturation, th e representation of th e sex lives of L atin as an d Latinos and th e ir sexuality tran sitio n s experienced in the United States is identified as follows: 46 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. As th ey acculturate, H ispanic m en an d women apparently begin to tak e on Hie attitudes an d behaviors of sexuality th a t are p a rt of m ainstream U.S. cu ltu re, which differs from trad itio n al H ispanic culture. (M arin, Gomez, and H earst, 1993:173) This model clearly sustains parallel processes to linear assim ilationist paradigm s in sociological im m ig ratio n lite ra tu re (R u m b au t, 1997). Accordingly, assim ilation or “renouncing to original cu ltu ral identity” is identified as one of th e two positive acculturation v arieties—versus two negative types—in pioneering behavioral sciences acculturation literatu re (Berry, 1980).9 Sex re se a rc h conducted w ith L a tin a s and L atin o s b ased on acculturation models has brought out of th e silence the sex lives of this social group. It has offered interesting uniform patterns with regard to m ulticultural and gender differences involving th eir sexual behavior as a n ethnic group (Amaro, 1995). It has also made highly valuable and informative contributions for a b etter understanding of Latino(a) sexuality and specific issues (e.g., HQV/AIDS education, homosexual com m u n ity , drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, etcOAO Accordingly, I was strongly influenced by the acculturation paradigm while conducting th is stu d y especially during th e early stages of m y dissertation work. However, as I continued w ith my fieldwork, completed my interviews, and finished m y data analysis on these women’s sexual histories, I experienced some type of deep theoretical disenchantm ent. As I im m ersed myself in their socioeconomic and ethnic segregation, and learned about the complexities of M exicanas’ daily lives w ithin their im m igran t com m u n ities, a need for a fem inist sociological perspective sensitive to th e im m igrant experience to study M exicana heterosexuality emerged. As I discovered the invisibility of Mexicana heterosexualities in th e gender and women’s sexuality 47 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. literature, I also innovated a sociological paradigm to examine L atin a heterosexuality in the borderlands between th e im m igration and, sex and gender literature. n. G e n d e r an d Sexuality Studies “studying up” on female sexuality Sociological studies of sexuality examining the experiences of gays and lesbians have received special attention since th e mid-1970’s (M essner, 1996). A long history of painful, m arginal, and socially oppressive life conditions experienced by gays and lesbians (White and Non-White), along w ith the AIDS epidemic, has resulted in im portant and inform ative sociological analyses th a t “study down on s e x ”12 T hat is, th e sexualities of th e marginalized and oppressed (i.e., homosexuals) has been extensively examined w ithin th e heterosexist social stru ctu re of power an d control where th e privileged group (i.e., heterosexuals) determines w hat is normative as socially accepted, appropriate, and “normal” in term s of hum an sexuality. Why heterosexuality? A recent interest in “ studying up on sex” has been addressed w ith the purpose of “revealing and demystifying the mechanisms of power, identifying their internal contradictions and cleavages, so as to inform movements for change” (Messner, 1996). Similarly, Rich (1980) and Accad (1991) h av e explored the roots for social change by incorporating heterosexuality and sexual politics into women’s struggle for social justice. Scholars such as Jan et Hailey (1993), Chrys Ingraham (1994, 1999), Lynne Segal (1994), Jo n ath an N. Katz (1995), and M ichael M essner (1996) also advocate critical examinations of heterosexuality in th e power structure. Using the innovative sociological approach “ studying up on sex,” Segal (1994) analyzes the sexual experiences of heterosexual W hite women. She uncovers the social an d cultural forces th a t promote the suppression of heterosexual 48 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women’s sexual agency. Segal also examines th e passive role of these women in th e ir sexuality in th e context of gender inequality and oppression. In addition, K atz (1995) explains how th e te rm “heterosexuality” h a s been created and established in th e late nineteenth and early tw e n tie th centuries as a privileged and norm al sex category. As consequence, socially organized practices of unequal power in which men dominate women, and heterosexuality dom inates homosexuality, have been established. Katz also uncovers the dynam ics b y which heterosexuality h as been established by scien tists throughout history as norm ative and non-problem atic. This offers some explanation for why social scientists have n o t viewed heterosexuality as a “problem” to be studied or analyzed. W hy Mexican women living in the U nited States? Since exam inations on heterosexual women’ s sexuality focus m ainly on the experience of W hite middle-class women, by conducting my study from this innovative sociological approach to “ studying up on sex, ” the heterosexuality of Mexican women living in the United States will stop being invisible in three ways: It will explore these women’s perceptions of the power dimension th at exist in heterosexual relationships especially in sexually oppressive patriarchal societies (Segal, 1994). It will increase our understanding of th e conflict and contradiction of being a heterosexual fem ale in Mexican society (Alarcon, Castillo, & Moraga, 1993; Salgado de Snyder, 1993). It will complement our knowledge of th e sexuality of lesbian L atinas living in th e U nited S tates (M oraga & Anzaldua, 1981; M oraga, 1983; A rguelles and Rich, 1984, 1985; Anzaldua, 1987, 1993). Studying up on Mexicana sexuality w ill examine socially constructed m echanism s reproducing female sexual oppression, but it will go beyond radical perspectives of female heterosexuality. It will also explore the social conditions 49 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. associated to female agency, se x u a l em an cip atio n , a n d liberating heterosexuality expressions beyond orthodox paradigm s in both women's sexuality and imm igration studies. m . U.S. Mexicana Sexuality Bevond Acculturation Dominance: Is there a “ Mainstream North American sexuality?” As discussed in m y introduction, I conducted m ost of m y dissertation w ork in th e m idst of highly xenophobic and sexualized social discourses. Besides th e sociological lessons I learn ed from these historical events, m y theoretical vision on Mexican im m igrant women’s sexuality w as transform ed by the study participants’ sexual testim onies. As I exam ined these women’s sexual stories, I discovered th a t a M exican woman’ s sexual transform ations in th e U nited S tates w ere sophisticated an d non-linear. T h eir sexuality transitions involved complex social processes th a t had nothing to do w ith becoming sexually acculturated. Instead, due to segregation, a transform ation in a Mexican woman’s sexuality was deeply immersed in and connected to fluid social dynamics an d processes ta k in g place w ithin th e ir own im m igrant communities. For instance, as I exam ined th e many social processes linked to the sexuality transitions experienced by Mexican imm igrant women, I learned th a t many of their emancipatory or liberating sexuality transform ations were not necessarily associated to acculturation or assimilation dynamics. Instead, Mexican women, while exchanging inform ation and sharing th eir sex lives as p a rt of their everyday life experiences w ith other im m igrant women, actively participate in both emancipatory and oppressive sexuality transform ations in th e new country. As I will discuss in chapter 6, Mexican im m igrant women talk about sex w ith each other as p art of th eir networking efforts to help each other and to cope w ith their personal sexual difficulties and concerns. Some of th em become sexually literate in th e process, some becom e sexually 50 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. em ancipated, and some become sexually oppressed. F or example, a woman from a sm all town in Jalisco m ay be exposed in her im m igran t community to an amiga who was raised m ore liberated in term s of sexuality back in Mexico City and m ay help her to become more open w ith regard to sexuality m atters. Thus, w om en who become m ore liberated in th eir sexual behavior are not necessarily responding to processes of “sexual acculturation.” Instead, they are responding to m any of th e social circum stances and situations th a t surround them th a t exist beyond m ainstream society. These women are being sexually transformed w ithin and by their same im m igrant communities, not by a dom inant culture. T heir sexuality transitions are m ore sophisticated, Mexican im m igrant women do not automatically become, sexually speaking, more “Americanized.” In sum , in this study I try to go beyond th e acculturation paradigm currently dom inating both th e behavioral sciences an d th e sociology of sexualities literatu re in th e ir studies of L atin a and L atino sexualities. Sociologists Pepper Schw artz an d V irginia R utter, for example, in th eir publication The Gender o f Sexuality (1998) offer a G ender, Ethnicity, and Sexual O rientation section w here they state: “In Latino families, for example, Catholicism is an im portant cultural influence. Because m any Latinos are Catholic, th e church’ s rules about sex and relationships are followed more closely am ong lower-income L atinos th a n among lower-income whites or African A m ericans. Few o th er racial groups have th is kind of religious homogeneity. Thus, we w ould expect to find sexual commonalities among Latinos of all social classes—like lower m asturbation ra te s—and we do. The extent to which these sexual practices are changing am ong Latinos is a good m easure of acculturation, or th e adoption of m ainstream ‘ American’ trends and the rejection of traditional religious teaching” (p. 127). 51 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. This conclusion clearly assumes th a t Latinos, as an ethnic group, are monolithic and as such th ey sire more likely to be Catholic, religious, and therefore sexually conservative w hen com pared to N orth A m ericans. Accordingly, as Latinos become acculturated th e y become less traditional in term s of religion an d more “Americanized,” an d therefore more sexually liberated. This type of generalization about the sexuality of Latinos brings to mind a central question w ith regard to sexuality in N orth America: Is there a “m ainstream N orth A m erican sexuality”? C an we say there is a “W hite middle class N orth American sexuality”? In case it does exist, W hat are the sexual and m oral characteristics of w hat W hite middle-class m ainstream North American sexuality is supposed to be? Lastly, final questions arise from a global perspective, W ould we ever w itness a L atin American country spending more th a n $40 million dollars to investigate the sex life of one of its presidents, to condem n his extram arital affairs, and to conduct DNA examinations of the stains of his semen in the clothing of his lover? Would we ever listen to a L atin Am erican president addressing the nation in order to apologize for his inappropriate sexual behavior? As previously explained in my introduction, giving an answer to each one of these questions would uncover m any of th e social and m oral paradoxes and complexities we encounter in contemporary N orth American society. Analyses conducted by Schwartz and R utter, and by Latino and L atina sex researches explaining th e sex lives and practices of Latinas and Latinos from th e acculturation perspective reflect th e sexual stories some Latinos m ay offer. However, th eir depictions of Latino sexuality are traditional, dangerous, and m ight be misleading and misinforming. They also have the risk of promoting stereotypes while offering such dangerous and indiscrim in ate generalizations. Finally, they encourage ethnocentric tendencies underlying 52 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. assim ilationist ideologies th a t associate “foreign” w ith “in ferio r,” and “American” w ith “superior” (Rum baut, 1997). Yes, there are Latinos a n d L atinas who are sexually conservative but this is not th e reality for all of th e Latinos and L atinas living in th e United States nor in L atin America. Yes, th ere are N orth American m en and women who are sex u ally liberal b u t th e re are also Norteamericanos who are conservative like m y W hite classm ate taking th e hum an sexuality class, my White supervisor warning m e against the risk of using la loteria card displaying a naked m erm aid in my S panish classes, and th e Pure Love Alliance White activists I m et in San Francisco. Sexually speaking, Latinos and Latinas, as an ethnic group, are not represented by rigid and monolithic models of sexual ideologies and behaviors. As O liva M. Espin (1986), one of th e leading and pioneer academ ics conducting sexuality exam inations of L atin as, states: “Despite shared features of history and culture, attitudes towards sex-roles are extremely diverse among H ispanic women. For instance, some L atin women are willing to endorse “modem” and “liberated” sex-roles concerning education and employment, while m aintaining very “traditional,” “conservative” positions concerning sexual behavior or personal relationships. Others are traditional in all respects and still others reject all traditional beliefs concerning the roles of women. Consequently, it is v ery difficult to discuss the sexuality or sexual behavior of L atin women w ith o u t th e danger of m aking som e sweeping generalizations” (p. 272). In sum, from a feminist sociological perspective, the assimilation-based acculturation paradigm m ight n o t be appropriate for the sociological study of Mexicana im m igrant heterosexuality for the following reasons: . A cculturation m odels m ay overlook intraethnic differences by creating H ispanic or Latino categories as a monolithic, rigid, an d u niform 53 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. entities. Similarly, it m ay overlook inter- and intra-regional contrasts w ithin the Mexican category. T his approach m ay unintentionally create and promote stereotypes and traditional representations about th e sex lives and sexualities of Mexican women and m en. . A cculturation models m ay prom ote th e im age th a t “becoming American” or “assim ilated” is good or promotes positive outcomes in th e sex lives of M exican im m igrant women. Recent exam inations in the im m igration studies u n m a sk th e d eterio ratio n im m igrants m ay experience as th e y assim ilate into North Am erican society. 13 A cculturation m odels m ay perceive th e sexual behavior of Mexican im m igrant w om en as variables isolated from th e social and real economic contexts in which, immigrants live. . A cculturation models may tre a t gender as ju s t another “variable” and overlook th e centrality of gender as a social organizer of the im m igration experience and life in th e U nited States (Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994). B ey o n d is o la te d p ro cesses of e th n ic /c u ltu r a l re s ilie n c e , transnationalism , sexual acculturation, or p u rely sexual oppression, th e M exican im m ig ran t w om en p artic ip atin g in th is stu d y experienced transform ations in their sex lives based on the following dynamics: 1) The sex lives of heterosexual Mexican women are surrounded and imprinted by a triad of social dimensions. These include: class and g e n d e r (i.e., th eir socioeconomic conditions determ ined by class and gender as m u tu ally interlocking dynamics); immigration (i.e., th eir everyday life experiences as im m igrant w om en surviving in a complex capitalistic and sexually intrusive society); and, 54 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. community (i.e., their immig ran t communities where women actively participate and create a culture of sexuality). Mexicanas socially construct an im m igrant woman’s sexuality discourse through their daily life conversations and dialogues about sexuality-related them es w ith other L atinas. This discurso sexual ultim ately becomes an im portant p a rt of life and survival as im m igrant women. 2) As th e ir everyday lives interw eave w ith these th ree social complexities, th e sex lives of heterosexual M exicanas are im pacted by redefined gender relations of power and inequality w ithin the socioeconomic context in which th ey live in the U nited States. More egalitarian redefined gender relations m ay enhance the n a tu re and the quality of a Mexican woman’ s sex life (e.g., sexual autonomy). In contrast, unequal power relations m ay promote sexually oppressive p attern s previously established in a patriarchal society (e.g. domestic prostitution). Im m igration studies have exam ined th e c e n tra lity of gender relatio n s as crucial for a b etter understanding of th e im m igration and settlem ent experiences of Mexican women and men (Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994). 3) As p a rt of th e im m igrant experience, M exicanas unpack their sexuality luggage through community networks, work, media, motherhood, and religion. As a result, m ultiple female heterosexualities previously established in Mexico are further reproduced. In m y study, I learned th a t as women are educated in contrasting geographic and social contexts in Mexico, they are exposed to m ultiple machismos regionales or regional patriarchies and their corresponding sexual moralities. These social dynamics eith er promote or challenge women’s sexual oppression and as a consequence socially reproduce the existence of m ultiple and contrasting female heterosexualities in Mexican society. This evidence resonates w ith ground breaking fem inist examinations conducted by Lynne Segal (1994) on female heterosexuality which address the 55 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. im portance of recognizing th e existence of m ultiple female heterosexualities. In addition, it further supports th e endless effort by social scientists across disciplines warning us against m aking sweeping generalizations and promoting stereotypes or traditional representations of Mexican women and m en in th e social sciences literatu re (Baca Zinn, 1982; E spin, 1986; A m aro, 1988; Gutm ann, 1996). 4) M ore th an an y social institution (e.g., Church, m ain stream society), th e family is the prim ary locus of social control th at redefines and commands politics of gender inequality linked to female heterosexuality beyond borders. I introduce th e concept of capital fem enino to illu stra te how prem arital virginity is a form of capital possessing a social exchange value. Mexican women, as a subordinate social group struggling to im prove living conditions in a patriarchal society, use capital femenino to enhance th eir life opportunities. In addition, a need to preserve prem arital virginity interacts with gender dynamics including both a pu n ish in g ethic of family honor and respect, an d a woman’ s socially learned fear of machismo (sexism) an d m en’ s expectation of marrying virgin women. 5) T hus, heterosexual M exican wom en experience se x u ality transform ations not in social isolation but in intim ate connection to complex social processes imm igrant women go through in th e new country. Based on my research findings, I propose an alternative paradigm to exam ine th e sexuality transitions experienced by heterosexual Mexican imm igrant women. IV. Feminist Sociology of Mexicana Heterosexualities female heterosexuality through M exicana immigrant voices This study offers a feminist-informed sociological alternative fram ew ork to study th e sexualities of heterosexual Mexicanas b y bridging across fields (immigration and, sex and gender studies) and by crossing orthodox theoretical 56 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. frontiers (assimilation/acculturation; W esternized White middle-class feminist assum ptions about fem ale heterosexuality; and, restrictive and stereotyped conceptions on M exicana sexuality). The proposed framework establishes a m u tu ally inform ing connection betw een th e im m igration and women’s sexuality literature by formulating the following: 1) Mexican female heterosexuality is socially constructed as p art of a w om an’s im m ig ra tio n experience by, through, and w ithin th e gendered everyday social practices in which a M exicana participates. As such, any transform ation in a heterosexual woman’s sex life is better understood w hen it is exam ined w ithin th e context of reorganized social prescriptions of gender relations of power an d control over fem ale heterosexuality as p a rt of her imm igration experience. 2) Studying up on sex reform ulates th e sociological stu d y of M exicana sexuality from both theoretical and methodological perspectives. T h eo retically , b e c a u se h e te ro se x u a l M exican w om en’s s e x u a lity transform ations are b etter understood w hen they are examined w ithin the power stru ctu re of society from a studying up on sex fem inist perspective w ithin th e “m atrix of domination,’ ’ th a t is, th e socially organized interlocking system between race, class, gender, and geographical location (Collins, 1991). And from a methodological perspective, “studying up” equally integrates theory and social practice. Symmetrically, it incorporates both previous theoretical paradigm s and em pirical data as study participants inform our sociological research as active social agents articulating their sexualities in first person. Sociological sex research th a t “studies up ” actualizes, validates, an d refines our previous knowledge on sexuality through study participants’ voices as they assert th eir sexual stories. Studying down on sex has the risk of promoting both theoretical and methodological ethnocentrism when is purely conducted 57 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. on preestablished paradigm s th a t are ju s t verified or tested while looking “down” upon study subjects. 3) Studying up on sex facilitates exam inations of the social construction of female heterosexualities emerging along a pleasure versus danger continuum of female sexuality (Vance, 1984). T hat is, it is based on a fem inist paradigm th a t explores women’s sexuality as, ... sim ultaneously a dom ain of restriction, repression, and danger as well as a domain of exploration, pleasure and agency. To focus only on pleasure and gratification ignores the patriarchal structure in which women act, yet to speak only of sexual violence and oppression ignores women’ s experience w ith sexual agency... (Vance, 1984:1) 4) Mexican im m igrant female heterosexuality is extrem ely complex. It is a social an d a political issu e (Segal 1994). T h a t is, M exicana heterosexuality is linked to gender politics resulting from culturally-influenced and historically-determ ined social an d economic forces before and after migration. A M exican woman’s heterosexuality is better understood when it incorporates, from a fem inist perspective, m ultidisciplinary knowledge on female sexuality in general, and on M exican women’s sexuality, in particular. A . History of Mexicana Heterosexuality Mexico is a very different society a t th e end of th e tw entieth century th a n it was a t th e beginning. F irst, th e first two fem inis t conferences in Mexican history took place in Merida, Y ucatan in 1916 (Rocha, 1991:257-258). Second, M exican women were finally allowed to vote in 1953 (Galeana, 1998). Third, oral contraceptives entered th e M exican m arket and were first used by women in th e 1960s (McCoy, 1974:379). This issue deserves special attention given th e decrease in b irth rates d u rin g th e last decades of th e tw entieth century. According to the Programa N ational de la Mujer 1995-2000, “global fertility rate w ent from an average of 6.8 children per woman a t the end of the 58 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 1970s, to an average of 3.0 children in 1994.” Studies conducted in ru ral areas experiencing gradual in d u strializatio n during th is period of tim e (e.g., Michoacan) have identified women’s exposure to both contraceptive and family planning professional services since th e 1980s, and pressure from national economic recession, as influential on a woman’ s decision to have three or four children in recent years (M um m ert, 1992a). In th e 1970s, the M exican governm ent played a role in th is phenomenon as th e y invested in m ajor national family planning programs th a t repeatedly played a song “La fam ilia pequena vive mejor (The small fam ily lives better)” in th eir TV advertising. Lastly, feminist academics and activists supporting the endowment of the fem inist movement and socially progressive women’s organizations have passionately defended women’ s rights and concerns since th e 1970s to this day (Lagarde, 1997; Lamas, 1 9 9 8 ). ^ B u t in spite of modernization attem pts, globalization, neo-liberalism, and th e wide expansion of in tern et and cybernetics in M exican territory, in term s of sexuality and sexual morality, traditions and social norms regulating heterosexual women’s sexuality in contem porary society still reflect th eir colonial origins. T he social control of heterosexual women’ s sexuality in contemporary Mexico w as shaped about five hundred years ago. The history of M exican female sexuality is profoundly associated with Spanish values of power and control w hich have been carried and socially reproduced since colonial Mexico. Scholars across disciplines (e.g., Twinam, 1989; Tostado Gutidrrez, 1991) consistently illustrate how the original social m echanism controlling female sexuality in colonial Latin America was established through a system of power and control interconnecting race, class, and gender subordination: 59 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. The control of female heterosexuality was established through racism because elite S p an ish fam ilies ru lin g th e colonial society placed a great im portance in the inheritance of honor which w as secured by proving their purity of blood and hence making sure th at their ancestors were not Jews, Moors, Indigenous people or Blacks. The control of female heterosexuality was established through classism because fam ily honor and respect would force a woman not to get involved w ith a m an from a low er status or class. “Fam ily protection attem pted to be erected on a solid barrier to protect a daughter’s honor: virginity was th e only certificate of w orthy re p u ta tio n , a n indispensable req u irem en t to m eet pretendientes ‘ decentes’ or ‘d ecen t’ potential dates w ith whom wom en could get acquainted a t social and religious events.” (Tostado Gutierrez, 1991:23-24, translation is mine) The control of female heterosexuality was established through g en d er subordination because women and th e ir sexualized bodies, as th e locus of reproduction, w ere autom atically confiscated by society via th eir families. As stated by Tw inam (1989), “The colonial code of honor th u s attem pted to control female sexuality through either virginity or m arital chastity” (p. 124). This patriarchal paradigm of social control established by th e colonial elite was reassured by Catholic ideals of sexual morality. Classism m ade sure th is model gradually became extended to and adopted by subordinate social classes. To th is day, M exican so ciety —w h at once w as th e official headquarters of colonial Spanish Am erica—has faithfully and system atically p ro crea ted th is u n d e rly in g social m ech an ism co n tro llin g fem ale heterosexuality. T hroughout history, social and geographical contexts influenced by the S panish conquest have socially reproduced th is paradigm through multifold social mechanisms. For instance, historian Ann Twinam ’s (1989) examinations on th e state of fem ale heterosexuality affairs in colonial L atin Am erican accurately explain w h a t m any Mexicanas experience in contem porary but still very colonial social contexts, especially women who live Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. in pre-industrial ru ral social contexts (Le., small town or pueblos): “Questions of honor, fem ale sexuality, and illegitim acy th u s become inextricably linked. Women who engaged in prem arital or extram arital sexual relations not only lost personal reputation and honor, b u t could beget additional family members whose illegitim acy excluded them from fam ily honor. T he double standard characteristic of colonial society m ean t th a t sim ilar sexual activity did not as certainly th rea ten th e personal honor of th e elite m ale as th a t of th e female” (p. 124). Thus, even though both trad itio n al and contem porary literatu re may emphasize th e im portance of th e Catholic Church as a determ inant source of oppression and suprem acy on M exican women’s sexuality (e.g., Paz, [1950] 1987; G uerrero Pavich, 1986; E spin, 1986; A m uchastegui, 1994; Zavella, 1997), th e fam ily system em bedded in a patriarchal society is th e social channel through w hich Mexican women’s heterosexuality h as been socially controlled and governed throughout history. Beyond Catholic m oral ethics, gender dynamics linked to crucial aspects of a woman’s heterosexuality (e.g., virginity, pregnancy out of wedlock, etc.) are defined through m any socially constructed fam ily politics. Catholic religious guilt and punishm ent becomes a subjective or internalized (personal, private) form of sexual m orality ideals w hereas the fam ily order represents a powerful externalized (social, public) source of sexual control. In other words, to this day, th e Catholic Church may promote, in theory, ideologies th a t are sexually oppressive and restraining to heterosexual M exican women. H ow ever, th e fam ily, as a n in stitu tio n imm ersed in an d in complicity w ith a sexist society, is th e one th a t in fact reformulates an d governs gender politics linked to female heterosexuality and ultim ately takes them into practice. 61 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. B. Normative Female Heterogwmalitv in M^graM eacan Snriptv In contemporary Mexican society, traditions and social norms regulating heterosexual women’ s sexuality identify a young woman’s sexuality as fam ily property. Living w ith their families and leaving th e family home until they get m arried is th e social norm for young women in m ost geographical regions. Idealized values of family honor and respect create a family expectation of sexual abstinence on a single daughter’s part. A daughter’s decency and good reputation, and a mother’ s competency to teach m oral values to her daughter are defined through this sexual m orality principle of moralidad, decencia y buenas cos tu mb res (morality, decency, and good social manners). In addition, sexism or machismo becomes a powerful ideological influence interacting w ith family politics controlling female heterosexuality. A single woman m ay deprive herself from being sexually active before m arriage as a way to protect h er family from m oral dishonor an d disrespect. As a consequence, fear of fam ily punishm ent and coercive m arriage due to pregnancy out of wedlock m ay prevent a single woman from engaging in prem arital intercourse. In addition, sexism, th e sexual objectification of women, and a socially learned fear of being recrim inated against by a future husband for not being a virgin a t m arriage, m ay reinforce and enhance social control on a heterosexual woman’ s sex life. In m ost geographical regions, traditionally heterosexist practices also indicate th a t a young wom an would have a relationship of noviazgo or courtship w ith h er boyfriend. After a period of tim e, and after becoming engaged, a young man visits th e family home in order to propose to her and inform s th e futu re bride’s p aren ts of his form al intentions to m arry her. Through th is traditional ritual identified as pedir la mano de la novia (literally “to ask for th e girlfriend’ s hand”), the future husband m akes their m arriage 62 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. commitment official. In urban and some semi-industrialized social contexts, an excited future bride receiving th e engagement ring from h er future husband usually precedes th e couple’s formal commitment to get m arried. In most social contexts (urban, semi-industrialized, and pre-industrial rural areas), m arriage is th e idealized m oral rite of passage a heterosexual virgin woman goes through in order to officially become sexually active. Aside from regional variations, for a middle class virgin heterosexual woman (and a non-virgin who was fortunate not to get pregnant), the traditional social norm for her first m arriage includes a series of W esternized socially constructed rituals. !5 These include the following: buying the most flattering white dress th a t will socially symbolize her virginity a t the wedding day; preparing her wedding invitations; attending her despedidas de soltera or parties organized by close female friends and relatives who create and play sexual games to prove and tease h er about her “sexual innocence”; going through her exhausting legal and religious ceremonies; posing for a photographer at a professional photo studio to get the memorable wedding picture th at will decorate one of the walls a t her fixture home; enjoying her lively wedding reception traditionally paid for by her father; getting anxious while thinking about her long-awaited honeymoon; and, 63 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. bleeding while having intercourse for the first tim e during the wedding n ig h t as a way to confirm th e sexual purity of h er virginal hymen. In sum, as a heterosexual woman becomes engaged, th e fam ily is the one that, in theory, gives a daughter m oral authorization to become sexually active but only sifter m arriage. Only after an d w ithin m arriage, a woman is m orally entitled to exercise an active sex life. Through m arriage, both a woman’s sexuality and h e r identity are transform ed from being h er family’ s property into becoming a m an’ s possession. The most symbolic indication of this process is a woman’s traditional change of h er name after m arriage. From using both h er father’s and m other’s last nam es, she changes h e r nam e by deleting her m other’s an d adding her husband’s after her fath er’s by using “ de”—a Spanish preposition literally meaning “of” or “from” w hich in semantic term s expresses possession or ownership. From being Laura Rios Juarez, a hypothetical single M exican woman would become Laura Rios de Garcia after she m arries a m an whose la st nam e is Garcia. While becoming aw are of these gender dynamics, a heterosexual woman m ay either patiently conform or m ay actively contest them while searching for ways in between to explore, reclaim, and possess her own sexuality. These possibilities take place w ithin specific social contexts where gender inequalities m ay either be extrem ely oppressive (e.g. pre-industrial rural communities) or more flexible and permissive to women (e.g. urban areas). Accordingly, women and their sex lives socially coexist and interact w ith either more restrictive or less severe expressions of hegemonic m asculinity which I identify as machismo rural and machismo urbano, respectively. In th e process of deciphering these social predicaments, across geographical regions, Mexican women become active social actors participating inthegendered reproduction cfmultiplefemale heterosexualities. 64 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C . Miiltinlf* Fftmalft H <»terrM i»T m fllitifi« and Popular Culture in M pyiihi The m ost powerful social expression of m ultiple female heterosexualities is located in contem porary M exican society and th ree of its popular culture expressions: m usic, movies, an d theater. F irst, th e new wave of rockeras singing Rock en E spanol du rin g th e 1980s a n d 1990s offers clear social representations of mujeres atrevidas or women who dare to transgress social and m orality reg u latio n s controlling fem ale heterosexuality. The m ost controversial a n d fam ous of them is Gloria Trevi. Gloria, an attractive and polemical rockera bom and raised in my hometown Monterrey, became famous for inviting her m ale fans to join h er singing her socially provocative songs on stage while she seductively undressed them. Gloria Trevi produced a picture calendar displaying m onth by m onth her sexually explicit body postures. Li addition, one of G loria Trevi’s m usical productions included a compact disc th a t created controversy due to its suggestive title. Mas turbada que nunca, was the CD’s title lite ra lly m eaning “More disturbed th a n ever,” b u t w hich Mexicans also in te rp reted as “M as-turbated th a n ever,” as th e y added a semantic tw ist to it. C ontroversy h as in creased Gloria T revi’s popularity am ong her fans—some of whom include well-known intellectuals—living in u rb an and semi-industrialized contexts w here her fame has been successfully distributed via television, records, and magazines. Gloria is still popular to this day in spite of her unexplained disappearance during the late 1990s and the legal scandal which ensued after she was captured in Brazil and sent to prison in Jan u ary 2000, accused of sexual abuse of minors participating in her artistic activities. H er fans and friends supported h er by organizing a m ass a t one Catholic church in M onterrey as a w ay to offer moral support to her so justice m ight be 65 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. applied satisfactorily and she can be set free soon. A friend of mine living in M onterrey ju s t informed me about h er interest in buying Gloria Trevi’ s entire collection of records as a way to offer moral support to her. Second, recen t movies display th e social spaces in which m oral transgressions of heterosexual women are not only accepted or tolerated but acclaimed by the Mexican masses. Nationally and internationally celebrated movies such as Como agua para chocolate display representations of female characters who are no longer objectified by male sexual desire. Instead, women become subjects who sexually desire. In Como agua para chocolate, Gertrudis pleasurably identifies and enjoys th e intense aphrodisiac effects of her sister T ita’s love dish m ade with rose petals. G ertrudis intense sexual desire is graphically represented as she desperately runs away from the dining scene to immerse h er naked body in a rudim entary shower built inside a wooden shack. G ertrudis’ burning sexual desire is m etaphorically represented by the steam generated as she sensually bathes her voluptuous body. Her sexual urge is symbolically satisfied after she gets out of the shower to ru n away while riding a horse naked with an attractive revolutionary who opportunely passed by. More recently, movies such as De noche vienes Esmeralda (Esmeralda, you come by night) shows the compulsory heterosexuality (usingAdrienne Rich’ s article title) of a sensual and assertive woman obsessed about m arrying m an after m an without divorcing. Esm eralda is sent to trial for her morally erratic behavior, b u t the attorney prosecuting her case (like all of Esm eralda’s ex-lovers) falls in love with her helplessly and becomes her next husband. Based on a novel w ritten by highly respected Mexican novelist and w riter E lena Poniatow ska, De noche vienes E sm eralda m ight be a social counteroffensive to th e commonly accepted phenom enon known as la casa chica. La casa chica is a socially produced and tolerated expression of bigamy, 66 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and a t times polygamy, in which a m arried m an establishes and supports (but not always) a separate household w ithout divorcing. In chapter 2 , 1 discuss some of the dynamics connected to this common social phenom ena which is gradually less and less sustainable due to the various economic crises faced by th e country in recent decades. Beyond th is possibility, De noche vienes Esmeralda received excellent reviews and acclaim in Mexico in the late 1990s. In addition, the recent and endlessly celebrated blockbuster Sexo, Pudor y Lagrimas (Sex, Decency, and Tears) openly displays the m any relationship com plexities experienced by two yuppie heterosexual couples living in contemporary Mexico City. Loving relationships, m arital conflict, search for love and spirituality, blurred boundaries between friendship and sex, unresolved old flames, and m arital infidelity perform ed equally by women and men, connect the lives of th e six m ain characters who frequently curse as th e story unfolds in the heart of th e cosmopolitan city. Sexo, Pudor y Ldgrimas became a millionaire success a t the box offices all over Mexico in 1999. And lastly, th eater offers some spaces in which female heterosexuality and its expressions of pleasure are enacted by women who become agents openly expressing their sexual desire for men. In a show accurately called Solo para mujeres (For W omen Only), female heterosexual agency is purposely stim ulated by a group of attractive m ale singers and actors who dance seductively and undress sensually in front of an intense female audience th at cheers, yells, and scream s as these m en expose th eir well-sculptured bodies. As a Mexican version of th e Full Monty, the Solo para mujeres show is mix of a N orth American Chippendale and a m usical showing a group of m en who ostensibly spend hours every day working out to achieve highly desirable m uscular bodies for th e groups of M exicanas who have celebrated th eir presentations a t m any locations all over Mexico. Solo para mujeres recently 67 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. offered a one-tim e show a t th e U niversal Studios A m phitheater for th e enjoyment of Mexicanas and Latinas living in Los Angeles. Gloria Trevi, G ertrudis, Esm eralda, women representing th e m arital lives of upper-middle class young Mexicanas living in th e capital of Mexico, and th e m any women enjoying S6lo para mujeres, highlight some of the social avenues through which popular culture grants social perm ission to Mexicanas to express th eir traditionally repressed sexual agency an d eroticism. I t is relatively recent th a t sexually desiring women are portrayed in M exican popular culture in ways which do not demonize them , e.g., prostitutes or ficheras / cabareteras, or as “th e lover” or la amante. In part, this reflects th e impact of globalization and neo-liberalization on M exican popular culture. Like entrepreneurs elsewhere, Mexican businesses have learned th ey can tap into new m arkets by commodifying male sex objects. These representations also, however, are im portant because they transform M exicanas as objects of men’ s sexual desire into sexual subjects possessing sexual agency. They become desiring women. To w hat extent do these emerging social images reflect changes in real Mexicanas’ sex lives in recent decades? Do they rep resen t a counter-popular- culture contesting trad itio n al values and ideologies attach ed to fem ale heterosexuality? How do these representations affect th e sex lives of real Mexicanas living in a transition between two centuries? I t is beyond the scope of this dissertation to answer these questions. In this dissertation, my point of departure is th a t sexuality constantly in flux even in rem otely located hinterland areas of ru ra l Mexico. In the following chapters, I will examine the ways in which 40 heterosexual Mexicanas living in Los Angeles socially create and continuously renegotiate their female heterosexualities. They do so within social contexts in th eir Mexican places of origin (Mexico City and ru ral Jalisco), 68 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and later on in Los Angeles, after they m igrate and establish a perm anent life in the U nited States. These women discussed th e following them es: th eir preservation and loss of th e ir virginity, th e relationships w ith th eir own daughters w ith regard to sex education, and th e sexuality transform ations taking place w ithin both th e ir socioeconomic contexts and a culture of sexuality th ey actively create in their own im m igrant communities. Finally, they share th eir true confessions about w hat it m eans to be Catholic, female, and heterosexual in a society historically oppressive to all women. NOTES 1. In "Las mujeres migrantes: <i,un tema olvidado o ignorado?’ (Immigrant women: a forgotten or ignored topic?), Woo Morales (1996) reflects on major a ca d em ic exam inations on M exican immigration to argu e that immigration studies h a v e encountered som e difficulties to g e t to a com m on agreem ent in regard to the “quantitative' importance of Mexican women and migration to the United States. 2. Immigration studies on Mexican women explore reasons for immigration, i.e., family reunification, econ om ic factors, etc., and migration dynamics in general (e.g., Fernbndez-Kelly, 1983; Kossoudiji and Ranney, 1984; Chavez, 1986, 1988; Simon and DeLey, 1986). Second, they address the effects of acculturation on immigrant wom en (e.g., Melville, 1980). Third, they offer dem ographic analyses of Mexican immigrant women while focusing on legal status (e.g., Simon and DeLey, 1986). And fourth, they have exam ined the com plex dynam ics of gender relations underlying migration and settlem ent processes (e.g., Gonzdlez d e la Rocha, 1989; Hondagneu-Sotelo. 1989, 1994; Salgado d e Snyder, 1993), and their impact on Mexican women's participation in the labor market both in Mexico and the United States (e.g.,Guendelm an, 1987; Arias and Mummert, 1987; Gonzdlez d e la Rocha, 1989; Mummert, 1992b; Hondagneu- Sotelo; 1994). 3. See article “Latina Teens Defy Decline in Birthrates' by Melissa Healy, in the Los Angeles Times, Section A, p ages 1 and 14, February 13, 1998. “California has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation,' Is cited by Get Real! About Teen Pregnancy in the internet. In a different paragraph they cite the California Department of Health Services (1997) to state the following: “In 1997, 61,107 California teenagers g a v e birth. Of the 61,107 births: 38,625 were by Latino mothers." Information obtained from Get Real! About T eenage Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy in California: Facts at a Glance. May 1999. http://www.letsgetreal.org/fs_tpfactsheet.html. 4. The Tomas Rivera Policy Institute reports that 64% o f the 32 million Latinos who currently live In the United States are of Mexican origin. Of those 32 million, 4,029,394 live in Los Angeles county. Statistical predictions indicate that by the year 2050, 96.5 million Latinos will live in the United States. By that sam e year, Latinos will represent 24.5% of U.S. population. Information obtained from The Tomas Rivera Policy Institute. Research Areas, http://www.trpi.org/facts2.htm. (D ecem ber 13, 1999) Another report on California dem ographics indicates that the proportion of Latinos living in the state quadrupled from 1950 to 1990. Information obtained from The Berkeleyan. Report Documents Latino Demographics and Voting Behavior in California. http://w w w . urel.berkeley.edu/berkeieyan/1998/1104/latinos/htm l. (D ecem ber 13, 1999) 5. According to Carrier (1995), it has b ecom e “politically correct' for Mexican g a y men to m ove aw ay from being a “puro paslvo" (only anal receptive) or “puro activo" 69 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. (only anal insertive). That Is, to b ecom e like their g a y m ale counterparts in the neighbor country who, based on popular ideas in the gay world in Mexico, are not into static sex role playing. 6. The acculturation m odel in the field of behavioral sciences em erged in the early 1980s. The 1980 publication Acculturation: Theory: Models, and Some New Findings edited by Amado M. Padilla p aved the road for the prolific research designed to this day to analyze many of th e aspects in the lives of Latinas and Latinos as they incorporate their lives within the new country (i.e., m ental and physical health, education, etc). in the field of behavioral sciences, and in particular Latina sexuality studies, the co n cep t of “acculturation' has been more popular and widely used than the o n e of “assimilation.' The former seem s to have a more positive connotation versus the latter which may b e politically or culturally incorrect or ethnically compromising. The acculturation approach has b ecom e the dominant approach or paradigm to study many aspects in th e lives of Latinas and Latinos. For instance, I found that the Hispanic Journal of Behavioral Sciences, the oldest a ca d em ic publication in the United States examining the behavior of Latinas and Latinos, published from 1979 to 1998 at least 30 articles that included the term “ acculturation' in their titles. In June 1987, Vol. 9, No. 2, this journal d ed icated an issue to acculturation research and Latinos. In May 1994, Vol. 16, No. 2 was d ed ica ted to two specific areas: acculturation an d wom en's studies. Sex research and scholarship examining Latinos' and Latinas' sexual behavior that incorporate acculturation m odels as part of their analyses or examinations include the following: Guerrero-Pavich. Emma (1986) “A C hicana Perspective on Mexican Culture and Sexuality," Journal of Social Work an d Human Sexuality, Vol. 4, No. 3, pp. 47-65. Amaro, Hortensia (1988) ‘Women in the Mexican-American Community: Religion, Culture, and R eproductive Attitudes and Experiences," Journal o f Community Psychology, Vol. 16, 6-20. Marfn, Barbara V.. G6mez, Cynthia A., and Hearst, Norman (1993) ‘ Multiple Heterosexual Partners and Condom Use Among Hispanics and Non- Hispanic Whites," Family Planning Perspectives. 25. pp. 170-174. Marfn, Barbara V., Gdmez, Cynthia, and Tschann, Jeanne M . (1993) “Condom Use Among Hispanic Men with Secondary Female Sexual Partners" Public Health Reports, Vol. 108, No. 6, pp. 742- 750. Reynoso, Teresa, Felice, Marianne E . and Shragg, G. Paul (1993) Does American Acculturation Affect O utcom e of Mexican-American T eenage Pregnancy? Journal of Adolescent Health, 14, pp. 257-261. Marfn, Barbara V., Tschann, Jeanne M., Gdmez. Cynthia A. and Gregorich, Steve (1998) “Self Efficacy to Use Condoms in Unmarried Latino Adults," American Journal of Community Psychology (1998), Vol. 26, No. 1, pp. 53-71. Dfaz. Rafael M . (1998) Latino G ay Men a n d HIV: Culture, Sexudlity, an d Risk Behavior, New York: Routledge. 7. Marfn and Marfn created their own acculturation scale in 1991 which is called the Marfn Acculturation Scale. In addition, Cuellar, Arnold, and M aldonado (1995) state that the ARSMA or the Acculturation Rating Scale for Mexican Americans (the most popular acculturation scale published by Cu6llar, Harris, and Jasso in 1980) was cited in 30 research publications b etw een 1980 and 1993 as the instrument to m easure acculturation in the study of the mental health of Latinas and Latinos. Cuellar et al. (1995) published a revised version of the original sca le and proposed an ARSMA-II. For a review of an actual acculturation scale, see Cuellar, Arnold, and M aldonado (1995) ‘Acculturation Rating Scale for Mexican Americans-ll: A Revision of the Original ARSMA Scale," Hispanic Journal o f Behavioral Sciences, Volume 17, No. 3, August 1997, pp. 275-304 8. Acculturation experts Cuellar et al. (1995) h ave stated a clear ca u se-effect relationship b etw een acculturation and the behavior of Latinas an d Latinos: ‘Acculturation phenom ena im pact individuals a t all levels of functioning, including behavioral, affective, and cognitive. The behavioral levels includes m any types of behaviors, including verbal behavior or language." (P. 281). 9. According to John W. Berry (1980), on e o f Padilla's contributors in his 1980 publication (see note 6), the co n cep t of acculturation appears in the literature as early 70 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. as 1880. Since then, the co n cep t of acculturation has been exam ined through many a cad em ic lenses and across disciplines. Acculturation, according to Berry, has four varieties. Two types o f acculturation are positive: 1) assimilation (renouncing to original cultural identity), and 2) integration (maintaining original cultural identity and m ovem ent toward integral part of society). And tw o types of acculturation are negative. 1) rejection (self-defined withdrawal from society), and 2) decuituratlon (the person d oes not belong to neither mainstream nor original culture (p. 13) A m ado Padilla defines the con cep t of "bicultural* to identify those individuals who have acculturated enough to b e ab le to function within mainstream society but have not m ove aw ay from the culture of origin (p. 75) 10. Given th e ch a o tic e ffect of the AIDS ep id em ic on Latino populations, contem porary research based on acculturation paradigm s has crea ted social awareness and has b een useful and necessary for the examination of Latinas' and Latinos' specific sexual behaviors and attitudes. Thus, it has b een informative for the design of HIV/AIDS prevention and education programs. First, this research helps to predict condom use am ong Latino m en b ased on acculturation level (Marin, Gomez, and Tschann, 1993); second , it indicates the proclivity of highly acculturated Latinas to have multiple partners (Marfn, G 6m ez, an d Hearst, 1993); third, it addresses the importance of co n d o m use self-efficacy for heterosexual Latinas and Latinos (Marin, Tschann, G om ez, and Gregorich, 1998); and , fourth, it has stim ulated qualitative research for a better understanding of Latino g a y m en's lives with regard to HIV/AIDS, risk behaviors, and g ay mainstream culture (Dfaz, 1998). 11. These exam inations analyze th e ex p erien ce of hom osexuals including Latina/Chicana lesbians and Latino/Chicano g a y men. For instance, sex research on Latin Americans an d the literature on Latina/Chicanas h ave exam ined m ale and fem ale homosexuality and discussed painful hom ophobic practices (i.e., Carrier, 1985, 1995; M oraga 8c Anzaidua. 1981; M oraga, 1983; Arguelles 8t Rich. 1984, 1985; Rosenberg, 1993; Aimaguer, 1993; Espfn, 1986; Anzaidua, 1987 and 1993). 12. During the last ten years, after the dramatic conseq uences of the AIDS epidem ic on the Latino population, the sexual practices and attitudes of U.S. Latino/Hispanic cultural groups h a v e b e c o m e the main focu s of research. Multiple analyses of the possible causes for such a dramatic incid en ce of HIV/AIDS in the Latino population have produced prolific and sophisticated studies on this phenom enon. Just to mention som e of the scholars who have con d u cted studies in this field: Nyamathi 8t Vazquez, 1989; Richwald e t al... 1989; Schinke e t al.. 1989; Bracho d e Carpio e t a/., 1990; Ceballos-Capitaine et al.. 1990; Kaminsky e t al.. 1990; studies by Marin, Marin, and colleagues (1990a, 1990b); Morales. 1990; Singer et al., 1990; Carrier 8t M agana, 1991; Negy & Webber, 1991; Thomas 8 c Hodges, 1991; Baldwin e t at.. 1992; Yep, 1992; Alonso 8 c Koreck. 1993; Amaro, 1995; Gil. 1996; Dfaz. 1998. S ee reference list for com plete citations on Latino/a and HIV/AIDS studies. 13. Rumbaut (1997) uncovers “the assimilation and its discontents' as he exposes the risk of perceiving assimilation first as "a g o o d thing" or the ideal goal for immigrants. And sec o n d , h e ch a llen g es th e c o n c e p t of assimilation (closely related to acculturation) as a linear process of transformation or change. See Rub<§n G. Rumbaut, ‘Assimilation and Its Discontents: Between Rhetoric and Reality," International Migration Review. Volume 31, Number 4, Winter 1997, pp. 923-960. In addition, acculturation field experts Cuellar e t al. (1995) are aw are of the vulnerable state of their own field. As they h ave stated: ‘The field of acculturation research app ears to suffer from problems of definition and problems of a d e q u a te measurement of acculturation" (p. 294). In Assimilation in American: The Role o f Race, Religion, an d National Origins (1964), Milton M. Gordon addresses som e o f the early confusion with regard to the conceptualization of assimilation versus acculturation. 14. Information on w om en's political participation was obtained from personal communication with professor Patricia G aleana on April 28, 1998 after her conference presentation on M exican wom en at E l Instituto Cultural Mexico no in Los Angeles. Professor G aleana is a gender and w om en studies professor and researcher a t the Universidad Nacional Autdnoma de Mexico (UNAM) in Mexico City. 71 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 15. S ee Chrys Ingraham (1999) 'W h ite Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular C u lt u r e New York: R outledge for important analyses on heterosexuality and th e social and e co n o m ic fo rces a sso cia ted with m arriage an d w ed d in gs in contem porary North American society. 72 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 2 Beyond the Hymen: The Social Construction of Virginity “I will preserve m y virginity u n til I get m arried—not because of religion— because of myself,” said E rendira Fuentes. “I will preserve it to avoid m any problems, like pregnancy, and also to concentrate better on m y studies, am ong other things,” she em phasized. E rendira, an imm ig ra n t from Guadalajara, has lived in Los Angeles for more than 10 years. She has never been married, and at the age of 32, she is adam ant th a t she will w ait until she gets married to have sexual intercourse for the first time. Lorena Mdrquez, a 34-year-old housewife who has lived in Los Angeles for a decade after migrating from her small town in Jalisco, expressed the following: “It is terrible to have sex before marriage, you lose your dignity as a woman. I was a virgin when I got m arried and now I do not have any problems with my husband. I have a happy life w ith him, you know, I have my own home and everything. M any women lose their virginity before m arriage and then they do not live well. That is the reason why women always have problems with their husbands.” The testim onies of these M exican im m igrant women challenge traditional scholarship which largely attributes the practice of Latinas and/or mexicanas preserving prem arital virginity to compliance with Catholic sexual morality, religion, or sacred beliefs (Paz, [1950] 1987; Guerrero Pavich, 1986; Espin, 1986; Amuch&stegui, 1994; Zavella, 1997). The Catholic Church is a powerful source of sexual oppression and control over the sexuality of Mexican 73 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women. B u t th e m oral standards of Catholicism are only one variable influencing women’s ideas about virginity. Beyond this factor, gender dynamics in Mexican society impact women’s preservation of prem arital virginity. For the women in th is study, Catholicism is not a prim ary influence and rarely even a direct influence on th e need to preserve virginity u n til m arriage.1 Instead, as E rendira’ s and Lorena’ s testimonies illustrate, virginity has m any complex social m eanings th a t go beyond the cult of virginity traditionally associated w ith Mexican women in both academic and popular literature. In th is chapter, I exam ine from a fem inist perspective of gender relations, power, and inequality, the m any ways in which Mexican imm igrant women socially construct virginity. Mexican women engage into this social process based on the following four gender dynamics: V irg in ity is so c ia lly c o n stru cted a s a life- enhancing resource. P rem arital virginity becomes w hat I call capital femenino. T hat is, virginity begins to possess a social exchange value th a t M exican women utilize, as a subordinated social group in a patriarchal society, in order to improve and maximize their life conditions and o p p o r t u n i t i e s . 2 P rem arital virginity is tied to socially constructed fa m ily a n d gender dynam ics. First, th e im position of virginity on a woman is interwoven with a sophisticated ethic of respeto a la fam ilia (respect for the family) which links family honor w ith a daughter’ s virginity. And second, the ideal of preserving virginity until m arriage stems from a woman’s socially learned fear of men’s deeply rooted expectations to m arry virgins.3 Loss o f p rem a rita l virginity p u ts w om en a t risk. F em ale heterosexualities a re represented along a dynam ic pleasure-danger continuum . The overwhelming m ajority of th e women in th e study (70%) w ere not virgins w hen th e y were m arried. These women’s firs t sexual experiences reveal the m any m oral and social contradictions th a t oppress Mexican women’s sexualities as well as the possibilities for them to explore sexual autonomy, agency, and pleasure. 74 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. V irg in ity is so cia lly constructed. Both, preservation a n d loss of p rem a rita l virginity, through, th e ir socially constructed symbolisms (e.g., pregnancy o u t of wedlock, the w h ite dress, th e orange blossom, th e w h ite coffin, etc.), transform what is intim ate and private into a public, family, and social affair. L The Cult of Virginity: Mexican Women a n d Virginity The literature on th e sexuality of Mexican women consistently discusses how the two sources of M exican religiosity (Spanish Catholicism and m ultiple Pre-Columbian indigenous religious practices) have blended over the course of almost 500 years (Lavrin, 1989; Rocha, 1991; Tostado G utierrez, 1991; Tunon, 1991; T unon Pablos, 1991; A m uchastegui, 1994; and, Rubio, 1997). T his unique mestizo mixture of religious beliefs has molded M exican society’s values and m orality w ith regard to women’s sexuality.4 V irginity in particular h as been at th e center of interdisciplinary scholarly exam inations analyzing this sophisticated interaction betw een Mexican women’s sexuality and Catholicism. Consistently, these scholars discuss how a “cu lt o f virginity” has been historically worshiped in M exican society. This cult of virginity is associated with Catholic religion in three ways: 1) by the strong role held by the Catholic church and its insistence on virginity for women a t m arriage (Guerrero-Pavich, 1986; Zavella, 1997); 2) by th e Church’s alliance w ith a patriarchal society which lowers th e moral sta tu s of women who cannot or will not m aintain virginity (Espin, 1986; Twinam , 1989); and, 3) by th e social mechanisms of moral control which have historically defined a woman’s virginity as “sagrada y pura” (sacred and pure) vis-a-vis a woman’s sexual activity as “ profana e impurei” (profane and impure) (Amuchastegui, 1998).5 Interestingly, the role played by im portant pre-H ispanic indigenous groups living in Mexican territo ry has been ignored as an influential factor on 75 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Mexican women’s cult of virginity. It is well-documented th a t virginity was valued, ritualized, an d promoted by som e indigenous groups such as the Aztecs, Tzotzils, and Zapotecs (Domecq, 1992).6 While this evidence could have reinforced th e M exican Catholic church’s consolidation of its “cult of virginity,” the intent of Catholicism to a n n ih ila te indigenous religions m ay have contributed to th e general absence of such accounts from th e m ajority of traditional literature. Finally, this ethic of virginity has been translated into a dichotomous paradigm to explain M exican women’s sexuality, th a t is: passive/active (pasiva/activa), good/bad (buenaf mala), or virgin/whore (la virgenlla p u ta ) (i.e., Paz, [1950] 1987; Almaguer, 1993; Alonso and Koreck, 1993). Based on this perspective, th e wom an with an in tact hym en represents “sexual purity, honor and decency,” an d the one w ith a ruptured hymen represents “dishonor, profanation, and lack of virtue.”? Octavio Paz’s controversial The Labyrinth o f Solitude (first p u blished in 1950) is perh ap s th e m ost w idely known perspective on Mexican women’ s sexuality which explains this paradigm. Paz associates a woman’s body and her sexuality w ith an essentialist perspective th a t stem s from M exican culture an d its popular in te rp retatio n s of masculinity and manhood. Since the ideal of manhood consists in never having to “crack/split” or rajarse, Paz associates a woman’s inferiority w ith the penetrable nature of h e r sexualized body. Opening up to be penetrated means being weak, treacherous, and untrustw orthy. Accordingly, for a Mexican woman, losing h er virginity would imply rajarse (to be cracked or split), thus she would possess an everlasting wound. As he states in the Spanish version of his El laberinto de la soledad: Las mujeres son seres inferiores porque, al entregarse, se abren. Su inferioridad es constitucional y radica en su sexo, en su ‘ rajada’ , herida que jam as cicatriza. (P. 27) 76 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. (Women, are inferior beings because, w hen th e y give them selves over sexually, they open up. Their inferiority is c o n s titu tio n a l an d is ro o ted in th e ir sex, in th is ‘crack/split/rupture’, a wound th a t never heals.)8 P az co n tin u es w ith h is abrir/activo-cerrarfpasivo (open/active- close/passive) paradigm within a psychoanalytical perspective to explain w hat could be the first, most painful and most symbolic rajada or virginal rupture in Mexican history. The indigenous woman Malinalli Tenepal, best known as L a Malinche, gave herself by “opening up” to el conquistador H em an Cortes which resulted in the metaphorical b irth of el mestizaje in Mexico in the early 1500s. 9 According to P az’s misogynist analysis, La M alinche n o t only became th e ultim ate symbol of la chingada (the fucked one), b u t she opened up to th e invader in more th a n one way. From a masculinist perspective, La Malinche was also responsible for the overthrow of Mexico: she served as an interpreter who spoke M ayan, N ahuatl and later on Spanish—another way of “opening up” and betraying her people. For Paz, la Malinche embodies la chingada, or th e devalued feminine condition present in the sexuality of Mexican women who open up, women who rupture them selves through th e sexual act and whose feelings of inferiority, betrayal, and dishonor are unavoidable. Accordingly, th e antithesis of la Malinche is la Virgende Guadalupe: the sacred, pure, and immaculate madre de los mexicanos whose presence, after her controversially m iraculous appearances in th e early 1530s in Mexico City, is central in the life of th e Mexican Catholic Church. La Virgen never experienced sexual pleasure as she gave birth to h er son while preserving her sexual integrity. She symbolically represents the woman who, through motherhood, m ay gain honor and social respect.9 Octavio Paz’s obsession w ith the multiple conjugations of the verb chingar (to fuck) and his misogynist analysis of La Malinche within the context 77 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of th e conquest of Mexico, have been passionately exam ined and convincingly criticized by leading Chicana fem inist s c h o l a r s . * ! In sum, defining virginity while exploring theoretical perspectives on M exican women’s sexuality exposes m any complex dynamics. Octavio Paz’s concept of “ rajada,” for example, implies th a t virginity is represented by an in tact hym en th a t is ru p tu red by penetration th e first tim e a w om an has intercourse. From this essentialist perspective, bleeding after th e ru p tu re of th e hym en would be th e m ost reliable way for a m an “to prove” a woman’s virginity. Beyond theoretical paradigm s on the social construction of sexuality, this argum ent may result in a reductionist and dangerous view of virginity due to the countless non-sexual circumstances in which a hym en could be ruptured and/or th e sophisticated anatom ical differences am ong women. However, there is strong evidence of th e overwhelming social value “an in tact hym en” has as a valid proof of virginity in m ost Mexican geographical regions. Ju an ita Loreto, a study participant, offers a compelling illustration: One o f my sisters was very concerned because the day she got married she d id not bleed, and she says th a t she feels sad because o f that. A nd I have asked her, “ Has your husband ever said anything about it? ” and she says, “ No, no, he has not said anything but I feel very sad because even though I was a virgin it hurts not to have bled th a t day. Even more explicit are professional advertisem ents by a physician in N o rth e rn Mexico para reparar la virg in id a d (to “rep air” virginity). Himenoplastia—plastic su rg ery to restore a ru p tu re d hym en—h as been conducted by Dr. Guadalupe I. Solis on L atina women (90% of them rape survivors) since 1968. Women from Mexico, South Texas, Spain, C entral and South America have requested himenoplastia services from Dr. Solis (Solis, 1998). According to Dr. Solis, after being “rep aired ” w ith himenoplastia, women are guaranteed to bleed after the hymen is r e - r u p t u r e d . 12 78 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Beyond a cu lt of virginity, th e virgin/whore dichotomy, m asculinist ideologies, and himenoplastia, w h at sexual stories are told by th is group of Mexican im m ig ra n t women w ith regard to virginity? n. P reserv in g Virginity beyon d the cult of virginity Based on th e history of how th e Catholic Church has influenced Mexican women’s values a n d sexual m orality, one m ight anticipate a h ig h “virginity until m arriage” incidence in alm ost an y research project on M exican women’s sexuality. For th e women in th is study, 39 out of th e 40 participants were educated in the Catholic faith. 13 However, 70% of these wom en were not virgins w hen th ey w ere m arried; only 12 out of the 40 women in the study remained virgins u n til marriage, i* As stated earlier, religious beliefs and th e Catholic C hurch w ere described as a poor source of influence on a woman’ s sexuality. The opinions of this group of women about the Catholic Church and its teachings on sexuality are revealing. A typical response to m y question, “W hat beliefs in regard to sex did you learn from your religion?,” w as “ No, nada (nothing), you d id not talk about it.° As some of these women expressed: None... like I said, they d id not talk about it, not even your parents, unless you were forced to have your confession and then the priest guided you or said som ething about it. B u t from the church I have not received anything to this day. (D eyanira Est&vez) Well... they do not teach you anything over there. My mother used to send us to Mass every Sunday, but they do not talk about that at church, they do not teach you anything about it a t Mass. (Hortencia Ibarra). Nada... I do not know how to explain... but they really do not talk about it over there. (Patricia Quezada) 79 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Interestingly, others answ ered th e sam e question by associating religion’s teachings on sexuality w ith the sex education, guidance or advice provided by their parents. As th ey expressed: Pues nada (well, nothing), because when you go to church you do not even pay attention to what they are saying, and in case you do, you do not obey. I think it is more a t home where they should teach you about it. With regard to the church, as far as I remember... nada. (Candelaria de la Rosa) Well... they really do not talk much about sex..., it is something th a t we learned a t home, because my mother always told us, “ No, no, until you get married you will not be alone with a man, not before, th a t is bad.” I t was not bad in regards to ia morbosidad or anything, but it was alw ays like a sin to have premarital sex. 15 (Oralia Pacheco) Therefore, beyond religion and the Catholic Church, a profound analysis of th ese w om en’s testim onies is necessary for a m ore comprehensive understanding of Mexican women’ s sexuality beyond the cult of virginity. A. PamilvPnlitira andVirguiitv! Virginity as capital femenino “I th in k it is because of tradicidn de la fam ilia (family tradition). My grandmother always said th a t all of her granddaughters tenian que casarse bien (had to get m arried the right way), I think th a t is the reason why I am still a virgin,” proudly stated M acaria Negrete. M acaiia, who m igrated from Mexico City, has worked in Los Angeles for nine years. She has never been married, has no children, and a t the age of 37, she has never experienced any type of sexual encounter—w ith the exception of being sexually assaulted, w ith no vaginal penetration, as an adult woman. For women like M acaria, virginity m ust be preserved and prom oted as p a rt of fam ily honor, dignity, and tradition. 16 These three principles are linked by an underlying core concept: respeto a la fam ilia (respect for the family). Respeto a la fam ilia is a set of values a w om an learn s from any fam ily a u th o rity figure (parents, 80 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. grandparents, uncles, aunts, older siblings, etc.). For Macaria an d for the other women I identify as ‘ Virgins-until-marriage” in th is study, respeto a la familia means a total renunciation of their sexuality. A woman’ s virginity, and hence her sexuality, becomes a family possession. W hen a woman disowns her sexuality and surrenders total control of it to h e r family, it becomes more than a fam ily value. Respect for the family is a t th e core of a w om an’ s lack of control of her own sexuality and, therefore, of an y sexual agency. For women like M acaria Negrete, this perspective on virginity is more th an evident. For mexicanas like her, casarse bien is an expression of respect for the family. Casarse bien, which literally m eans “to m arry well,” h as a stronger connotation: rem aining virgin until marriage. Casarse bien represents purity, virtue, goodness, all in all, a behavior in accordance to appropriate and expected moral values. Casarse bien brings a woman the m oral satisfaction of complying w ith a family moral expectation of preserving her personal dignity. It also guarantees economic and social benefits later in m arriage: casarse bien m eans vivir bien (to live well). Lorena M arquez, 34, from a sm all town in Jalisco, explains th is clearly. She illustrates th at: 1) casarse bien is a mandate imposed by a fam ily on a daughter; 2) casarse bien m eans to have one’s personal dignity intact; and, 3) casarse bien gets translated into economic stability and independence for her and her sisters later in their m arriages.1 7 W hen I asked Lorena if she would have liked to have had sex before marriage, she exclaimed “No!... not having sex before m arriage is som ething beautiful because th at is som ething th a t my parents imposed on me, to be a virgin, and th a t was right!” As we continued, she described how for her and h er sisters, keeping th e ir virginity had translated into a reassurance of attain in g a stronger socioeconomic statu s and apromise ofm arital stability and happiness: 81 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. In my fa m ily all o f the w om en were virgins w hen we got married, todas nos casamos bien (all of us got m arried the right way). Now all o f us are living well w ith our husbands a nd we all have our own homes, independent and everything. A n d to me it is beautiful to be a virgin when you g et married, without being with anybody before you get married. L orena’s words confirm th e social reality of M exican women as a subordinate group. Even though th e quality of life (i.e., education, employment, health, etc.) for Mexican women h a s improved in the last decades, studies of their living conditions dem onstrate th a t access to m arriage is still a woman’s m ost im portant vehicle of survival (Szasz and Figueroa, 1997). The sam e authors also examine how social regulations on female sexuality become more rigid for women living in social contexts where there is insufficient access to resources or w here opportunities are nonexistent for women (i.e., rural areas, sm all towns). In these social contexts, virginity, as a v irtu e or a personal quality, acquires a higher “exchange value” (p. 13). 18 Interestingly, this social dynamic has prevailed throughout M exican history since its conspicuously evident origins in colonial society. Accordingly, for m any women like Lorena Marquez and h er sisters, preserving virginity gets translated into an increased likelihood of having access to a financially stable, conflict-free, and safeguarded marriage, and ultimately, into a less vulnerable and more secure personal life as a woman. Thus, prem arital virginity has an exchange value and becomes a form of social capital which I identify as capital fem enino.19 Virginity, as capital fem enino, possesses th e following characteristics: 1) it is a form of capital only w om en possess in th e context of el mercado m atrim onial [m arriage m arket] in a p atriarch al society, 2) it functions as a transaction commodity, and depending on th e social context, it m ay acquire a higher or lower social value: the more em phasized the gender inequalities and/or sexual moralities in a given social context (e.g., small town or pueblos), the higher the 82 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. value of virginity as capital femenino; 3) it has its historical roots in the various forms of gender inequality promoted in Mexican colonial society which linked female sexuality w ith a wom an’s moral virtue (i.e., virginity), h er potential socioeconomic sta tu s, an d fam ily h o n o r . 20 B ased on th e se dynam ics, prem arital virginity h as been historically promoted in Mexican society an d still prevails. W ithin th e context of family life, sexual purity m ay be am plified through th e family’ s coercion of a daughter. As p a rt of an ethic of respect for th e family, control over a woman’s virginity is strengthened by the fear inflicted by parents. Virginity functions as a safety lock guarding against potential risks: pregnancy out of wedlock and family punishm ent. “jE l miedo, el miedo de que sus padres a uno le vayan a hacer algo! (The fear, th e fear th a t your parents would do something to you!)” exclaimed Azalea Z apata w hen I asked h er “W hat was the m ost im portant reason for you to follow th e beliefs th a t you learned from your religion about sex? U nlike most of th e women in the study, A zalea Zapata learned religious values w ith regard to sexuality. However, her fear of family punishm ent was ultim ately her m ain reason for preserving virginity until marriage. Following a sim ilar p attern , o th e r w om en expressed a fear of fa m ily pu n is h m e n t associated w ith other possible consequences of th e loss of virginity, especially th e fear of getting p re g n a n t out of wedlock. W hile reflecting on th e consequences of losing virginity before m arriage and the risk of becoming a single mother, Olga Ponce, explained how fear of family punishm ent superseded her fear of God: D id you follow some religious teachings w ith regard to virginity? Yes, but I d id n o t follow them because o f religion, I followed them because o f fear... becauseoffearofm y mother! Basically... because I was afraid o f my family and the fact that I could get pregnant... because you have your fam ily inveighing against 83 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. you i f you g et pregnant, that is w hy I was terrified... to g et pregnant, to not be able to go to school, and to become like those women with many children and all those problems. That exact p attern is followed by Soledad Torres who responded to the same question by articulating a clear rationale, with tears in her eyes: No, I think that more than committing a sin it was the fear o f getting pregnant! A nd fear o f my mother! She was so abusive, ju s t the way she talked, she would be furious while talking to me, she always said, “[No!, jvirgen hasta que te cases! (No, you will be a virgin until the day you get married!) or else men leave and you are left pregnant with problems and all those things!” Similarly, as illustrated in the introduction to th is chapter, Erendira Fuentes has used h er virginity to protect herself from getting pregnant out of wedlock and its life-long consequences (i.e., not being able to complete her education). “I will preserve my virginity until I get m arried—not because of religion—because of myself,” Erendira emphasized as she discussed why as woman would preserve her prem arital virginity as a protective safety lock against potential risks. Beyond the fear of pregnancy out of wedlock and a potential punishm ent from their parents, virginity, for these women also provided protection from a persistent th rea t outside th e family home. For the rest of th e women who preserved their virginity u n til they got m arried, virginity could also protect them from the sexism of “machismo.” B . Marliismn and Virginity “Una mujer es como unapieza de pan, siy a estds toda manoseada, iquien te va a querer asi? (A woman is like a piece of bread, if you have been touched all over, who is going to w ant you?)” expressed Azalea Zapata, explaining what happens to a single woman when she allows herself too much sexual freedom. She continued, “It’s like w hen you go to buy el pan, you say, W ell, Fll take this piece of bread from th e tray, the one they ju s t took out of the oven’—you take 84 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the one th a t has not been touched by anybody! It’s th a t way, you say, ‘ No, no, w hat for?.’ I t is the same w ith men, son machistas (they are sexist), they want a wom an th a t has never been touched by anyone.” For women like Azalea, preserving virginity w as n o t only promoted by sexually-oppressive family politics, h er prem arital virginity was also controlled by her response to a recalcitran t machista (sexist) sexual ideology w hich perm eates M exican society.21 In h er book Psicologia de las mexicanas (1974:147-148), Ju an a A. Alegrfa passionately asserts: “Men expect women to be virgins because they are u p set w hen women have belonged to other m en before them ; th is excuse implies another concept: belonging.” A m an expects a woman to be virginal in body a n d soul because it is a reassurance th a t sh e will be his exclusive property. In addition, experiencing any type of sexual activity m ay provide a woman w ith a previous fram e of reference for com paring fu tu re sexual p artners. In th is way, th e woman becomes the m an ’ s object for h is sexual satisfaction; as his sex object, she becomes the exclusive possession of one and only one man. This machista paradigm was the reason why half of th e “virgins until m arriage” women in this study maintained virginity before m arriage: Los esposos se lo echan en cara a uno cuando uno no es virgen (Husbands throw it in your face w hen you are not a virgin). For these women, this patriarchally- based ideology left a deep im print on their sexuality. I t is im portant to mention th a t five out of these six women were from small towns in Jalisco and only one was from Mexico City. Seemingly, machismo, w ith regard to virginity, m aybe more likely to be em phasized in smaller towns or provinces th an in a big city such as Mexico City.22 In m y next chapter, I introduce th e concept of machismos regionales (machismo rural versus machismo urbano) in order to exam ine how gender dynam ics controlling fem ale h etero sex u ality are connected to differences in social, economic, and industrial development across 85 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. geographical areas. B ased on these dynamics, I also explain how an d w hy some of th ese m others n o t only em braced th is b e lief for them selves h u t educated th eir daughters u n d er th e same ideology, w ith a strong conviction th a t virginity would protect them against the dangers of machismo. According to th is paradigm , being a virgin a t m arriage guarantees respect, w hich is tran slated into an absence of resen tm en t from th e m an tow ard th e woman, and therefore into a lack of m a rita l conflict. L orena M arquez’s words clearly exemplify this dynamic: I have always had a good relationship w ith m y husband, we never have arguments where he could complain that I was with another man or anybody. A n d I see th a t m any women get married that way an d then they have problems, and that is the reason why they have problems, that is the reason why you start having marital problems. Some of these wom en exam ined the associations between machismo and a need for virginity a t m arriage. Salome Tovar reflected on this topic to exemplify how her widowed friend is still paying th e consequences of h er husband’ s jealousy regarding h er non-virgin sta tu s a t m arriage. In a high pitched voice, she explained: Men throw it in your face for as long as you live! I was thinking about w hat happened to a friend o f m ine whose husband is always throwing it in her face. A nd on top o f th a t he would not let her watch her favorite telenovela “ Te Sigo Amando” (I Still Love You) because he thinks that watching it w ould make her think about her previous husband... and th a t is w hy he did not w ant her to watch la telenovela because a she still loved him ” Clearly, a woman who is not a virgin a t m arriage runs the risk of being devalued and disrespected. T his is a misogynist m andate imposed by m en, transm itted by mothers throughout generations, and well-learned and clearly understood by all women including both those who preserve their virginity until 8 6 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m arriage and those who do not. The testimonies offered by Erendira Fuentes, Romelia Sdnchez, and Victoria Yanez are compelling: They are telling you, that i f you do it you are nothing, that the m an w ill not respect you anymore and that the man will not look a t you the same way. Besides that, i f you get married w ithout being a virgin, the m an is going to throw it in your face all your life. (Erendira Fuentes) My mother said, When a man touches you, you are worthless, when you are not a virgin anym ore” And ay!, oh my God! I did not let the boys touch me. (Romelia Sanchez). My m other used to say that we should not allow men to touch us because when you get married you have to be a senorita, because i f you are not, your husband will not w ant yo u .23 (Victoria Y&fiez) In sum , “virgins-until-m arriage” women have learned sexist lessons about preserving virginity: virginity is a “seal of guarantee” which is respected bytheir husbands and which offers women a greater possibility to conquer happiness. Unfortunately, virginity is not always a safeguard for a woman. In spite of her well-intended efforts to preserve h er virginity u n til m arriage and thus secure respect, Azalea Zapata painfully learned why this strategy does not always work. H er first husband complained during intercourse about her normal sexual arousal: ponerse mojada (getting wet, lubricated). For men such as h er husband, the norm al physical reaction of vaginal lubrication during intercourse represented a woman’s lack of virtue and goodness: a virginal vagina is not only one th a t has never been penetrated b u t one th at does not yet know how to respond to any type of erotic pleasure or physical sensation. 24 Azalea revealed this sexual ordeal: My husband alw ays asked me why I g o t mojada (wet, lubricated) when we were having sex and we argued a lot because o f it. He always told me that a woman should not be th a t way, that a woman should be dry and clean for her husband. B ut how clean could I be if he was the only man? No... I never thought about being with another man. And he 87 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. always asked me i f I was una puta (a whore) or i f I had been w ith someone else. A n d yes, then, we d id not stay married for that long... nine years, and then he looked for another woman. Azalea tearfully explained the sadness and guilt she experienced when she realized th a t h er husband had an extra-m arital affair. When Azalea got divorced, th e legal separation did not help ease h er confusion about h er husband’s rationale to have a lover: her “inappropriate” sexual response. Intercourse between Azalea and her hu sb an d is an act of extrem e machismoz it confirms how th e sexual act does not occur in a social vacuum; the sex act occurs in a political context of a “power relation th at is pervasive and incontrovertible,” as Andrea Dworkin (1987) states in her book Intercourse. Behind a m an ’s a b e rra n t ignorance about fem ale physiology and h is incongruous jealousy, we find a mechanism of social power: 1) a man defines a woman’s sexuality; 2) a woman does not have th e right to own her body or to experience sexual and/or erotic pleasure; and, 3) a m an enjoys the exclusive privilege of getting rid of a woman whom he considers is no longer useful as a sexual object, and he m ay replace her w ith another woman by practicing adultery. By having a lover, he validates not only an erotic need but a political one: a m an is allowed to have la casa chica (“the sm all home”), elsegundo frente (second front), or la amante (mistress or lover). La casa chica is a common form of relationship in Mexican society. It is a relationship between a m arried m an and h is female lover which, over time, goes beyond a casual relationship and acquires a different character: the lover and th e children he conceives w ith her become la casa chica, a separate household which receives, though not always, th e financial support of the man. A deterioration of Mexico’ s economy in the last 20 years has made impossible for m ost m en to m aintain this type of social arrangem ent (Rubio, 1997).25 88 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Women like A zalea learn th a t experiencing th e m ost intim ate and long awaited sexual encounter is far from a pleasurable and safe experience. The sex act becomes a dangerous th re a t and in a m etaphorical w ay reflects the ways in which Mexican society functions. The ‘ V hgm s-m itil-m arriage” women cannot afford th e luxury of spontaneous or casual sex: sex is dangerous and virginity is a safe protection from th e fam ily system and from m en. The Mexican im m igrant women in th is study who have preserved th e ir virginity until m arriage have learned this dynamic well. B ut w hat happens to the other women who have transgressed th e “virginal order” imposed by fam ily politics and sexist ideologies?26 m . Losing Virginity between pleasure and danger Since such a large percentage of the women interviewed did not preserve virginity until m arriage, one m ay perceive a diguncture or incongruity between values (beliefs, ideology) and behavior (practice, lived reality). This seeming paradoxical revelation unm asks th e sexual realities for these women. W hat we find are diverse forms of female heterosexuality along a bipolar paradigm represented by a pleasure-danger continuum .27 On one extreme, I examine the sexual stories th a t offer possibilities for M exican women to reclaim and experience sexual autonomy, agency, and pleasure. On the other end, I identify the m any moral and social contradictions th a t oppress M exican women’s sexuality. A wide variety of m echanism s of social control linked to a woman’s loss of virginity emerge between both extrem es. Table 2.1 illu stra te s these dynamics. 89 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table 2.1 Participants' Pleasure-Danger Continuum Loss of premarital virginity is associated with... . Sexual victimization: (rape and incest) . Pregnancy and coercive marriage Intense negative feelings associated with her first sexual experience including feelings of disobedience due to ethic of family respect, shame, fear, sexual agency f confusion, frustration, and ambivalence, worthlessness, autonomy and failure or fracaso Sexual freedom - Sexual risks/threats • gradually increase Sexual oppression These tendencies are not equally balanced; th e danger end of th e continuum is overrepresented. The patterns of sexual behavior covering this spectrum of fem ale heterosexualities include th e following th ree central patterns of sexual experience: 1) P le a s u re . A w om an m ay be able to question the various dynamics controlling her sexuality and come to reclaim it so th a t she can experience it w ith freedom and pleasure. The stories sh ared by the women identified w ith th is tendency expose mechanism s of social control and offer some alternatives to explore potential ways for women living in patriarchal societies to enjoy th e ir sex u ality w hile contesting sexually oppressive ideologies. 2) S e x u a l risks a n d th r e a ts . A w om an m ay tak e the risk of claim ing and experiencing h er sexuality w hile encountering dangerous situations and experiencing painful repercussions: 90 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the risk of getting pregnant, and in a worst case scenario, of being coerced by h er family into a m arriage she would not have chosen; the th re a t of feeling guilty or disobedient for n o t complying w ith an ethic of family respect; and, the danger of experiencing unpleasant feelings of shame, fear, confusion, frustration, ambivalence, worthlessness, and failure or fracaso during her first sexual encounters. 3) Danger. A wom an has the risk of being sexually coerced or victimized and involuntarily losing her virginity due to the sexual violence (i.e., rape, incest, etc.) she is exposed to while growing up in a patriarchal and sexist society. For one third of th e women who lost th eir virginity before m arriage, rape and/or incest were th eir first sexual experiences. An overwhelming 80% of women survivors of sexual violence in the study lost their virginity while being sexually victimized. Their painful stories reveal mechanisms of sexual control and power hidden behind sexualized gender relations. From a fem inist perspective, each one of these th re e fem ale heterosexual experience p attern s resounds w ith fem inist theorist Lynne Segal’s (1994) proposal to acknowledge th e existence of m ultiple fem ale heterosexualities. As stated by Segal: Once we look for sexual diversity and fluidity, the fluctuating n atu re of heterosexual encounters or relation-ships (sic) is obvious: some are pleasurable, self-affirming, supportive, reciprocal or empowering; others are compulsive, oppressive, pathological or disabling; most move between the two. (P.260) The sexualities of m ost of these heterosexual Mexican women do not necessarily move betw een th e two extremes identified by Segal. In m ost cases, th e danger extrem e is overrepresented. M ultiple sources of sexual oppression are still encountered by many women bom and educated in Third World and developing nations. However, Segal’s invitation to recognize m any 91 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. heterosexualities w hile examining women’ s sexuality as a social and political issue offers an enlightening altern ativ e to explore both: 1) th e m any possibilities for M exican im m ig ra n t women to claim th eir rights to sexual autonomy, pleasure, and agency, and, 2) each and every one of th e social, cultural, and political forces th a t oppress th eir sexuality as heterosexual women.28 A . T ^ t ai n g Virginity. Finding- Oliva Espin (1986) accurately w arns us against th e danger of making sweeping generalizations about the sexual behavior of Latin American women. In addition, Lynne Segal (1994) w rites of the need for a more comprehensive approach to examine how and w hy women who live within patriarchal social contexts can still experience sexual pleasure and empowering feelings related to their sex lives. In this study, not all of the women who voluntarily decided to have sex before m arriage experienced guilt, shame, fear of sexism or family moral prosecution. Unfortunately, only a sm all number, five out of tw enty (25%) of those who had prem arital sex experienced it in a positive way. They said they did not regret having prem arital sex; instead, having sex for the first tim e had a special meaning, and for all of them the sexual experience had been a part of trusting and deeply loving a man. As they explained: Well... I felt good, I did not feel nervous or anything, and I never regretted it or anything. Because everything was working fine but later on he told me th a t he was not going to be w ith me anymore... but that was fine. B u t I really loved him, I had sex with him because I really loved him. (Graciela Hernandez) I felt happy because he was my first boyfriend and I did it for the first time w ith him and felt happy. I have never regretted it. (Rosalia Silva) I think that since I trusted him... and I loved him..., I did not feel bad. In other words, I felt good. (Lolita Iglesias) 92 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. U nlike women who reported a fear of m en com plaining th a t they lo st their virginity before m arriage, for two of the women, having prem arital sex enhanced th eir romantic relationships.29 Zenaida Alem an from Mexico C ity and O ralia Pacheco from a sm all tow n in Jalisco recall th eir experiences. Zenaida described with an elated tone her first experiencia sexual: I felt happy because I adored that man. I adored that person..., and to me doing it was p a rt o f w hat we were in. ^Nerviosa...? no, I never felt nervous because I knew w hat was happening, an d I d id not feel afraid either. A ll I remember is that I felt so happy, and so in love with him... Did you notice a ch an g e in your relationship with him after both of you had sex? Well, it got better, the relationship got better, we got closer to each other, we had a great time... but later on, you know, we broke up. A n d second, by connecting p rese n t w ith p a s t feelings, O ra lia’s excitem ent about her first sexual experience is sim ilarly as exciting and pleasurable as Zenaida’s. O ralia recounted her first sexual experience: Honestly... beautiful. I never felt bad, quite the contrary, I felt... I do not know, as i f he was already a part o f me. When I looked a t him from the distance, I really rejoiced. Did you notice a ch an g e in your relationship with him after both of you had sex? It got better, yes, it got better. Have you and your husband talked about it now that you are married? He says that if we liked it that much... why didn’t we try to have sex even before that time? W hat does it require for a wom an educated in a patriarchal society to own h er sexuality, to experience it w ith pleasure, and to m ake a personal decision to have sex before m arriage? Questioning Catholic Church teachings 93 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. on sexuality, fam ily isolation, social awareness, an d a profound connection between sex and love is th e answ er for this sm all group of women. Zenaida’ s opinion on how church an d religion should not interfere w ith the sex lives of people is passionate: Sexuality, for both men and women, is som ething personal, ifs such an intimate issue to have anybody having to tell you w hat you can do and w hat you cannot, even the Church! No, I do not th in k the Church has anything to do w ith sexual matters, or w ith your sex life, for both men and women, whomever! Paradoxically, Rosalia’s experience of fam ily isolation and h e r lack of any type of advice helped h er to perceive sexuality as something n atu ra l and eventually to make h er own decisions in this regard. I felt good having sex before marriage, I think it was because I grew up practically alone. I did not have any support from my fam ily or from m y brothers, because I had m any brothers who were born after me. So, really... I had no experience in this regard or any advice or anything like that. And, G raciela ridiculed and questioned M exican society by arguing against th e social m andate of preserving virginity. No way... i f you g et married or not... why do I have to preserve m y virginity? No way, de una vez, right on, i f I have the chance! [laughs] The self-confidence displayed by Zenaida, Rosalia, and Graciela did not resonate w hen this issue w as explored in more depth w ith Lolita and Oralia. Lolita talked about a deep feeling of insecurity which she described as th e m ain reason for h er need to have sex and therefore to be w ith a man. While talking about her deep Catholic faith, Oralia said th at even though she did not regret it, and h er husband has never complained about it, she enjoyed sex before marriage, b u t she inevitably experienced ambivalent feelings of religious guilt later in h er life. As she stated: 94 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I know I offended God in that way as in m any other things. Then, I did my confession, so I already confessed and I know it was not right, because He d id not want me to do it, I am sorry because I offended God but I know He already forgave me and He knows I love my husband and that I would not do it w ith anybody else. The guilt and repentance experienced due to the influence of religion on the sex life of Oralia, and on some of the women discussed earlier, takes us back to the experience of all those, who far from feeling pleasure and joy, are still trapped in a web of family condemnation and moral punishment. B. Family Politics and Coercive Marriage: Pregnancy Out of Wedlock La m ujer seducida o violada, lejos de encontrar amparo y comprension en su familia o en la sociedad, encuentra a h i a sus verdugos m as ciegos, mas asquerosos y mas despiadados. [A woman who has been seduced or raped, far from finding protection and understanding from her family or society, she finds in them her m ost blind, brutal, and com passionless executioners]. Dr. Migud Padilla Pimentel, 1972, la Moral Sexual en Mexico “Pregnancy m akes sex visible; it converts private behavior into public behavior,” states Constance A. N athason in her book on adolescent women sexual behavior Dangerous Passages (1991). For th e M exican im m igrant women who m ade th e ir sexual activity visible through pregnancy out of wedlock, losing their virginity was transformed from an intim ate experience into public knowledge which ultim ately became a family affair. A daughter’s “lack of sexual control” fractured fam ily honor, and the moral dam age done to the family had to be repaired by forcing the woman to get m arried. This family dynamic ruled th e fives of three of the women in this study. The first two stories were shared by Irasema Quiroga and Trinidad Urbina, both from upper middle class fam ilies, bom and raised in Mexico City. Irasem a became pregnant after her boyfriend raped h er and our interview was the first time she 95 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. had talked about it. Trinidad became pregnant during a relationship w ith a boyfriend she never took seriously and never th o u g h t about marrying. These are their words: Yes, because I was forced to do it..., because me casaron a la fuerza (they forced me to get married). My father said, “We are not going to leave it like this” and he grabbed me and let’ s go... I, a poom ” l, he took me to the house o f my husband and I do not how many things they said... that he had to repair the damage... A n d then you wear white in front o f society, in order for you to be O.K. with them. B u t then, after a few m onths you give birth to your baby. J u st to tell you, the week..., the week after I got married, I was already wearing dresses for pregnant women because I already was five m onths pregnant. (Irasem a Quiroga). Well... yes, after my m other talked to me about all th a t [virginity], and then in that sense she was kin d o f strict, she wanted me to be a virgin until I got m arried b u t since she realized that “ Me comf el pastel antes del recreo (I ate the cake before recess)” she sent me to get married. B u t no way...!, later on I got divorced because I knew it w as not going to work. B u t I pleaded so m uch w ith her, I cried, I begged. I did not w ant her to force me to get married. She said “ No, no, she has to get married. After she gets married she c an get divorced if she wants.” (TrinidadUrbina). The pregnancies faced by Irasem a an d T rin id ad disturbed fam ily stability: pregnancy out of wedlock questioned la m oral de la fam ilia (the family’ s morality) and therefore family respect. These women’s unexpected pregnancies became family affairs and, as such, h ad to be solved by the family. Both families had to save la dignidad (the dignity) in front of society, to avoid at all cost el que diran (what people would say). Pregnancy out of wedlock puts in evidence a family’s failure to provide good m orals and a “pro-decency” sex education to a daughter. Sim ilar to the “virginity-until-m arriage” women, family politics on sexuality supersede a woman’s agency over her sex life: the family confiscates a woman’ s personal agency an d disowns her from her own sexuality.so 96 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. L ack of sexual ow nership was anticipated by th e psychological ordeal both women experienced after their first sexual experience—long before they knew about th eir pregnancies. Being rap ed was Irasem a’s first sexual encounter. She cried w hile sharing w ith me h er emotional collapse: Oh my God!... I fe lt so dirty, I d id n o t even w ant to see my parents. I felt as i f they were going to point the finger a t me, like they were going to guess w hat had happened to me. B u t you know, I got home all relaxed with all m y make up on pretending as i f nothing had happened to me, b u t no!, I felt so dirty and guilty. I used to share my bedroom w ith one o f my sisters and... no way... ! I did not even want her to touch me, not even get close to me. A nd I cried an d cried because I asked myself... why ? I do not know, but it feels ugly, very ugly. Trinidad also shared th e struggle she experienced w hile having sex with someone she did not love. H er testim ony is a clear sum m ary of the various forces th a t combine to expropriate a woman’s sexuality: a m other’s controlling and threatening teachings about morality and virginity, fear of pregnancy, and Catholicism as a source of guilt. As Trinidad stated: I d id not understand myself... why do I w ant to leave h im ? B u t I do not love him , I hate him!, but w hy do I let him touch my body? I did not know what was happening... well... b u t I knew it was not right. Then... my mother’ s warnings to avoid sex, you know..., about my future, and morality as well... th a t I risked getting pregnant. A n d she said “ Who know s w hat you are doing, you do not w ant to tell me but whatever you do i f you do not have intercourse it will create sexual deformations.” A n d all that made me so afraid, and then you know, Catholicism, that I was not supposed to do it before marriage. That created a lot o f guilt in me. B oth women ta lk ed about th eir failed attem pts to have abortions; family control became a n obstacle. Irasem a had a girl who is now attending college in Los Angeles, an d Trinidad had a son whose m ental retardation m ight have been caused by h e r unsuccessful attem pts to have an abortion. Since abortion is not legal in Mexico, Trinidad tried to self-induce abortion by taking th e herbal formula she bought from a hierbera a t the m arket w ithout telling 97 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. her mother.3i Later, she received the professional services of a doctor who was also unsuccessful in his medical attem pts to induce a n abortion. Feelings of guilt and self-destruction accompanied Trinidad after giving birth to her son. She suffered from a m ajor depression for years an d was suicidal. She is grateful to a support group in Los Angeles for helping h e r through this painful experience. Trinidad explained to me how she learned about hum an reproduction when she was 7 or 8 years old. A gynecologist by profession, Trinidad’ s mother gave her a to u r of a m useum in Mexico City while indicating to her the chronological evolution of hum an embryos and fetuses preserved in formal (a chemical preparation). Thus, women educated in u rb an areas (i.e., Mexico City) may be m ore likely to be exposed to education and occupational opportunities w hich m ay provide them w ith well-informed sex education. These women m ay offer this information to their daughters, b u t family ethics m ay still covertly define the ways in which th is knowledge should be interpreted by women: “This is the information you need to know about sex so you do not get pregnant before you get m arried and sham e our family.” Fernanda Galindo is the third woman who w as forced to get m arried after her family found out she was pregnant. Fernanda, bom and raised in Mexico City, reveals aspects of fam ily control and th e emotional cost of h er difficult experience. H er testimony is quite revealing: I wanted to die, I was 18 and I was studying to become an artistic education instructor. Then everything collapsed for me, everything fell down for me because o f an unwanted pregnancy. Then, like m y mother says, “ Nobody sent you to do it,” and nobody had sent me to do it. A nd I have kept all these feelings to myself, I have not told anybody, you know, the frustration. B ut the thing is that I was forced to get married, and I got married. 98 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. F ern an d a was sexually assaulted by h er uncle and three adult m en when she w as thirteen. As an older adolescent, she voluntarily accepted to have sex for th e first time. Only under th e influence of alcohol could she feel encouraged to possess her body and feel pleasure. As she explained to me: Emotionally... look, when it happened I was not conscious becauseldid not do it consciously. I did it after a party... I was kin d o f drunk so I d id it but I was not completely aware. I th in k I drank alcohol to feel more encouraged, less like a coward... but after I woke up and I looked at myself, I started to cry a n d felt so asham ed o f myself. A nd I felt also ashamed because habfa defraudado a m i m am & (I had defrauded my mother). My father, fortunately had died 3 years earlier... because i f he had been alive I do not think I would have done it. Defraudar in Spanish h as th e sam e m eaning i t has in English: to defraud. A nd if the term defraud m eans “to deprive of a rig h t or property by fraud; ch eat,” F ernanda h ad successfully learned th a t h e r family had ownership on her sexuality and th a t any transgression was against family politics and property.32 In addition, defraudar m eant being a transgressor by cheating and/or disappointing h er m other, a common experience for m any women examined in detail in the next section. Parental ownership of sexuality was clear: h er father’ s death made it possible for her to possess her sexuality. F ern an d a also looked for abortion as a strateg y to term inate her pregnancy, b u t a physician at a clinic talked her out of pursuing her plans. Clearly, losing one’ s virginity before m arriage fram es “sexual activity” as a dangerous experience, especially when followed by an unexpected pregnancy. 99 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. For th e vast m ajority of women who did not get pregnant, how is the first sexual encounter experienced when it happens before marriage? A third of those women who voluntarily had sex before m arriage experienced: These women described their first sexual encounters: I felt disappointed because I always thought it was something special, beautiful..., like everybody had told me. (Norma Ortega) I was scared, I felt something like fear because I d id not know about it and the next day I was like afraid o f something and I could not look him in the face because I was asham ed o f myself. (Diam antina E strada). I d id not like it..., you know, it hurts and then you bleed and I d id not like it a t all..., and he did not do it roughly or anything but I remember feeling bad. (Deyanira Estevez) I felt very bad an d very strange, he did not force me, but I would not know how to explain it to you..., I felt strange but I did not feel anything, I mean, I did not know w hat sex or love was about. (Felicia Gomez) W hen I d id it the fir s t time I fe lt worthless... I thought everything was gone for me. I fd t fracasada, I felt like a failure. (Idalia Jimenez) In sum , it m ay be sim ply morally chaotic for women to have sexual relations before m arriage. The m ultiplicity of unpleasant feelings surrounding a first sexual experience rem inds us of th e need to validate different sexual stories told by these Mexican women. Yet, w hat may m atter more is not only recognizing the existence of this interpersonal diversity, b u t exploring common patterns th a t emerge from these women’s first sexual experiences. Consistently, for a group fear confusion shame frustration guiit disappointment physical pain a sense of worthlessness and failure or fracaso 3 3 1 0 0 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of six women—from both Jalisco and Mexico City—w hat infiltrated their first sexual experience w as a sense of rem orse, culpability, and disobedience deeply rooted in a p ro -v irg in ity fam ily sy stem of m oral condem nation and punishment. C . Le falle a mi mama: I let mv mother down 34 In m ost patriarchal countries like Mexico, th e education of children is a m other’s responsibility. Not complying w ith th e educational standards and moral expectations m eans disobedience tow ard th e mother figure. In addition, any failure displayed by a daughter to comply w ith her m other’s teachings indicates a m other’s failure to successfully educate a daughter about sexual morality. Romelia Sanchez and Xochitl Arteaga, both from Jalisco, explain the feelings they experienced after having prem arital sex for the first time: I felt very bad because I said ;ya le falle a m i mama! (I already let m y m other down!). In other words, I felt bad, bad... I felt... and also because o f religion a n d I said iDios m io! (Oh m y God!) you were taking care o f me, why d id this happen to me? It made me feel so ashamed, so asham ed o f myself, and for my m other... and because everybody was going to know that I..., I felt as i f the world already knew about it a n d oh!... I felt so bad. (Romelia Sanchez) Le falle a ella (I let her down) a n d I felt bad because my mother had offered all her conf ianza (trust) and she used to tell me and my sisters, “ I f you think about it, there is no need for me to tell you anything about it, you know very well w hat is right and w hat is wrong, and I give you the freedom to go out.” So, guilt, anxiety, feeling dirty and all th a t I felt; ifs like you have it inside o f you. I felt all this inside because I did it without being married. (X6chiil Arteaga) Romelia and Xochitl knew th eir m others were to be held responsible for their sexual behavior. And both m others had an expectation th a t a code of sexual ethics m u st be followed. Not being able to comply w ith one of these principles represented “letting your m other down,” or at its worst, not being 1 0 1 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. able to live up to la confianza or tru st she had offered as a mother. 35 Their despair and guilt was aggravated by their awareness of religious regulations on women’s sexual behavior. Romelia knew th a t she would be punished and shamed by her family, her religion, and her society a t large. As p art of a deep concern about parents’ reaction toward prem arital sex, feelings of ambivalence—pleasure and guilt, happiness and shame, joy and sadness—were not unusual for some of the women. Y adira Velez relates her feelings after h er first sexual experience: Well..., my experience was nice but at the same time it was... how to say it...? sad, because I asked myself ^Me voy a casar bien? (Am I going to get m arried the right way?), or w hat is my mother going to say about it? or what is my father going to say? B u t it was kind of... I do not know, an experience... I do not know how to say it because I was afraid my parents would know about it. Yes, I was afraid o f that. I said to myself, they are going to kick me out o f my house! Unlike Romelia, Yadira was not concerned about el que diran or w hat people would say about her n o t being a virgin anymore. However, she was seriously concerned about both of her parents’ reactions. During the interview, Yadira recalled how, a t the age of 20, after a serious argum ent with her father, he slapped her face twice. Offended by her father’s physical and emotional abuse, Yadira decided to move out of the family house to cohabitate w ith her boyfriend—the m an with whom she had her first sexual relation and who is her husband at the present time. Cohabitating w ith h er boyfriend transform ed Yadira into a major transgressor of the virginal order: she was living w ith and having sex w ith a m an without being married. Accordingly, she was punished by her family (her father in particular) after she moved in w ith her boyfriend. As she recalled: 1 0 2 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well..., it was a major reaction o f anger, really major because he [father] said, “ You are dead to me, I do not w ant to know anything about you, all this man wants is to play w ith you, I do not w ant to know anything about any o f you.” He stopped talking to me for a t least three years or more. Then, after he started to talk w ith me, I got pregnant. A nd then, when I got pregnant, he stopped talking to me again. B ut then, one day, SU otra senora (father’ s second wife), one day she held m y child in her arms and talked to him about it and then he d id not reject me anymore, then he accepted me and my child. Sim ilar to those women who w ere forced to get m arried because of pregnancy out of wedlock: 1) Yadira’ s decision to cohabitate w ith her boyfriend became a fam ily affair w hich was p unished by h er fa th e r’s rejection, indifference, and anger even though, unlike those women, she w as not forced to get m arried; 2) Y adira h ad anticipated h e r lack of sexual ow nership after having sex and had foreseen the potential negative consequences of prem arital sex. H er feelings of ambivalence (feeling good but fearing h er parents would learn about it) were a clear indication of th is dynamic; and, 3) Yadira’s evident proof of being sexually active (getting pregnant) was punished again by her father’s indifference and rejection. U nlike the women who w ere forced to get married, Yadira’s stepm other functions as the m aternal figure who intervenes as la mediadora (Ypeij, 1998) by challenging the father’s long-term rejection andpunishment towardYadira andfacilitating a reconciliation betw een botihcfthem. Yadira’ s case is of special importance given its m any implications with regard to the father-daughter and m other-daughter relationships, gender relations, and power dynamics in family life within the context of a patriarchal society. Accordingly, “letting your m other down” is different th a n “letting your father down.” The former implies the unequal relationship betw een two women due to generational differences: a young woman is exposed to th e moral control and the family ethics embedded in the relationship between herself and an older woman who is socially responsible for h er sex education. In addition, the 103 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. mother or an y m aternal figure m ay become a m ediator betw een daughter and father. In co n trast, th e la tte r em phasizes th e evident unequal pow er relationship betw een a woman and a m an due to patriarchy. G enerational differences betw een fath e r an d d au g h ter, an d th e fam ily ethics th a t expropriate a daughter from her sexuality, intensify even m ore w ith this power differential. A young woman is exposed to the moral control of the m atern al figure—who a t tim es m ay become a protector—sis the one who is responsible for her education. W hen it comes to th e father, a young w om an is exposed to even greater ris k of h arsh punishm ent due to his power and control, rights an d privileges, as th e patriarchal head of th e f a m ily .3 6 O ther stories follow a sim ila r p attern , b u t n o t w ith th e intense an d painful consequences illustrated by Y adira. Two other wom en also recalled feeling am bivalent after their first sexual experiences: T hey both felt th ey le t their m others down, b u t they were able to recognize some feelings of pleasure while having sex. For Cecilia D uarte an d Emilia Falcdn, it w as dangerous to talk to th eir m others about sex. Secrecy about having sex protected both women. C ecilia D u arte clearly recalled h er am bivalent feelings as she described h er first sexual experience: Well... I felt bad... I felt bad and good: good because I loved him, and I fe lt happy. I felt content because I had had sex w ith the person that I loved but I felt bad because I would not have liked my mother to know about it, so I ju s t kept it to myself. Sim ilarly, Em ilia Falcon goes beyond this dynamic to express her clear awareness of th e negative consequences th a t would resu lt if h e r m other h ad known about h e r having prem arital sex. Em ilia recalled h e r first sexual experience. W hen I asked her, “How did you feel th e first tim e you had sex?” she replied, 104 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I felt nervous... I fe lt bad because o f m y mother’ s ideas. I felt bad for her, and I knew I would never tell her about it, and to this day I have never told her. What would have happened if you had told her about it? I think she would have reacted in a very aggressive way... she is like those people who believe that you have to be a virgin until you get married, you know, in order to wear el vestido bianco (white dress). As I will discuss next, being dressed in w hite on the wedding day is a powerful symbol and a social representation of a woman’ s sexuality. D. Vestida de blancoz Virginity and its Social Symbolism “I felt like I was fooling myself because for me, ir al altar de bianco (to walk down th e aisle w earing a white dress), th e woman should be a virgin, clean, pure, white, ju st like it is represented by th e dress. But since I was not, well..., I decided th at I should not do it, th a t is th e reason why I did not even get m arried by the Church,” expressed Cecilia D uarte, explaining the reason why she did not “deserve” to wear a white dress on h er wedding day and why she felt she ultim ately was not entitled to have a religious ceremony. Mexican social prescriptions impose m arriage as the moral and official passport society uses to endorse women’s sexual activity. E l vestido bianco is the seal engraved on th e p assp o rt. I t is th e m ost im portant sym bol representing w hat a patriarchal society can bestow on a woman on h er wedding day. El vestido bianco (a highly valued piece of fabric usually worn by a woman only once) carries in itself a social burden and a moral responsibility, the solid w hite symbolizing a woman’s virginity. Wearing the w hite dress was unthinkable for Yo voy a casarme vestida de bianco va a dolerte tanto te arrepentiras I will get married wearing white it will h u rt you so much you will regret it Vestida de bianco, a popular Spanish song 1 0 5 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Cecilia and the other women who associated prem arital sexual relations with fear of parents and fam ily disloyalty; th e ir total awareness of th e m orally charged social expectation made it impossible. Similar to Cecilia, Yadira Velez, after several conversations w ith a priest, allowed herself to m arry in the Church after cohabitating with her husband for more th an 14 years. Yadira explained the reasons for wearing a beige dress instead of a white one: When you shine wearing a white dress, los azahares (orange blossoms) represent the purity o f the bride, but when there is no virginity you cannot get married wearing white... I decided to have los azahares, but I decided to wear a beige dress because I already had m y children and everything. Even though Y adira had to m ake some intrapersonal accommodations to carry los azahares, or her orange blossom bouquet, for her, wearing a white dress was clearly impossible: she had already transgressed its m eaning by conceiving children; therefore, she did not possess the virginal p u rity th at entitled her to wear a w hite dress. For other women, family politics became p art of the decision to have a religious ceremony and to wear a white dress. For Emilia Falcon, wearing a white dress was a decision she made to satisfy her mother’s need to follow a social tradition: when a daughter gets m arried and therefore walks out of the family home she m u st be wearing el vestido bianco. Emilia recounted her conversation with her mother: I told my mother that we were planning on getting married but that I was going to get married only by el civil (legal marriage), but you know..., for the very same reason that she has those ideas o f her religion, you know, that you have to walk out your home wearing white an d all that. B u t anyway..., she was the only reason why I married in the Church... only because o f her... ju s t to satisfy her need. As mentioned earlier, Emilia was not a virgin at marriage and has kept th a t fact a secret to th is day in order to avoid a resentful reaction from her 106 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. mother. Em ilia decided to w ear h e r w hite dress to honor h e r m other socially and morally w hile protecting h erself from th e potential negative consequences honesty would entail. She was keenly aw are of th e symbolism of the white dress she would wear: el vestido bianco is a “well-deserved” m oral honor not only for the bride but for h er m other. I t also symbolized h er m other’s ability to appear as th e m orally and socially com petent m other who w as successful at overseeing and securing her daughter’ s appropriate moral behavior. Being dressed up in w hite does not only honor virginity w hen a virgin woman leaves h e r family home to get m arried, it goes far beyond: virginity is also honored and worshiped w hen an adult virgin woman dies. Tomasita Uribe, a woman from a small town in Jalisco, described how two of h e r adult relatives (cousin and aunt) were buried in ataudes blancos (white coffins) after passing away. Palom a, Tom asita’s cousin, had died from a serious hem orrhage subsequent to being raped by a neighbor who broke into h er house late one night. H er fam ily was informed b y th e physician conducting th e autopsy th at Paloma had been raped. As Tom asita recalled: They p u t her inside an ataud bianco because she w as not responsible for it. When they d id all the investigations and the doctor looked at her, they found out that she had been raped. I looked a t her in one o f those pictures, because in those pueblos (small towns) they take pictures o f the dead, and I remember she had a lot of flowers around her head. Paloma’s story exposes revealing dynamics. Palom a h ad not voluntarily agreed to have sex, she had been raped. M orally speaking, for h er family, she was still a virgin when she died. W ith regard to personal agency, a woman becomes a sexual subject (versus sexual object) only if h er virginity is lost in a voluntary sex act. In other words, a woman loses h er virginity only if she consents to have sex. This way, rap e or any type of sexual violence against a virgin woman does not deprive h e r of her virginity because th e sex act was 107 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. done against her will. A virgin woman who w as forced to have sex m ay not have th e tangible or physical evidence to prove h er virginity (especially if she has been vaginally penetrated) but more im portantly, spiritually and m orally she has retained it: h er sexual autonomy was subjugated and controlled. In the case of Paloma, h er integrity and decency w ere recognized and celebrated by h er fam ily even beyond death. The preservation of virginity was praised while becoming a family affair. A sim ilar experience happened to T om asita’s a u n t Carolina. W hen Carolina died, she was 50-years-old, but h er honeymoon tragedy had been well known by her family—she could not bring h erself to have sex w ith h er husband on h er wedding night. Tom asita described how h er extrem ely religious au n t C arolina had n o t received an y sexual education and therefore h a d no inform ation on w hat she w as expected to do as a woman on her wedding night. Tom asita explained: Sh e was from Guadalajara and she was a senorita when she got married. B u t how could you ever imagine that the next day after her wedding, the husband woke up in one home and she d id in a different one ?! Then, when we talked with her, she said it like this: th a t she had been afraid o f el instrumento dei esposo (the husband’s instrum ent) because when she looked at it, she got scared an d she was afraid and then she ran away. He also left. He m ust have thought she was crazy. Tom asita recalled th a t her au n t C arolina w ent back to live w ith h er family an d spent th e rest of h er life committed to religious activities. O n her deathbed, a t th e age of 50, C arolina called h e r hu sb an d to ask for his forgiveness because she h ad not been able to have sex w ith him. B ut he did not forgive her. Carolina’s fam ily knew h er life story and, when she died, they honored h er virginity by burying her in an ataud bianco, sim ilar to Paloma. To sum m arize, th e au th en tic m ean in g of v irg in ity is socially constructed. The true significance of virginity is not created in a social vacuum 108 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. nor it is divorced from society. Losing or preserving virginity goes beyond the bedroom and transcends stained or unstained bed sheets to become part of the social processes linked to powerful and conspicuously evident social and moral symbolism. Pregnancy out of wedlock, having children, w earing el vestido bianco and/or carrying los azahares on the wedding day, and finally being buried in a white coffin after death, are im portant indicators of th e social nature and m eaning of virginity. From a woman’ s active participation in the creation of a new life to th e end of her own existence, each of these symbols positions a woman’s sexuality w ithin the public domains of fam ily and society. Each symbol makes visible w hat is personal and intimate; each makes public what is private. Each symbol associates a woman’s virginity w ith specific objects connected to p articu lar scenarios an d circum stances of social and moral significance. A woman’ s loss of virginity does not become a family affair if she does not get pregnant—the issue m ay rem ain intim ate and silent. In contrast, pregnancy m akes sexual activity evident, and then, a woman is often coerced into m arriage by h er family. A woman who does not w ear el vestido bianco m ay place in jeopardy her own m oral integrity and decency; a woman who w ears it, honors herself and her family. And finally, after death, el vestido bianco is replaced by el ataud bianco to honor and m ake public w hat was personal and painful. All these visible symbols have m ade public w hat is private, they have revealed to society w hat a woman has lived in her intimate moments. They lin k a Mexican woman’ s virginity, as p art of h er sexuality, to im portant processes of social significance and control. In sum, beyond this powerful symbolism and an idolatrous reverence for virginity, it is still possible for a Mexican woman to give up virginity before m arriage without going through excruciating experiences of m oral and family condemnation. Unfortunately, as illustrated, only a few of these women had 109 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the potential to own their sexualities. It is clear th a t th e sexuality of M exican im m igrant women is expropriated and confined by fam ily politics and by a sexist society where m en are sexual subjects and women their sex objects. The final and m ost painful p a rt of th e pleasu re-danger spectrum is represented by the stories of those who involuntarily lost their virginity—the women survivors of sexual violence including incest and multiple forms of rape. E. Rape of a Virgin Being educated in a patriarchal society w here a devotion to virginity is so pervasive and exalted m ay magnify the trau m a involved in the rape of a virgin woman. While tru stin g m e w ith their tears, eight women in the study (four from Mexico City and four from Jalisco) explained in great detail th e horror, agony, confusion, sham e, and guilt they experienced as virgins during and after sexual victimization. Their testim onies uncover in painful ways, m any of th e social dynamics previously discussed in this chapter. For them , losing virginity while being raped m eant being violently robbed of their capital femenino, and of the possibility to casarse bien; being raped also m ean t experiencing family shame. A t the personal level, their stories are im portant especially because losing th e ir virginity in such traum atizing ways h ad a profound im pact on th eir em otional and sexual lives.S'7 In addition to th e psychological traum a, sexual violence against a virgin woman educated in a patriarchal society has im portant ramifications on h er own perception of h er moral integrity and her personallife. As discussed in m y first chapter, at the tim e of our interviews, none of the women survivors of sexual violence had received any type of professional help. T heir stories of th e high emotional cost a woman survivor of sexual violence experiences were painful, expressive, and graphic. Belen C arrera from Mexico City, for example, a t the age of 43, has lived all of h er life in an 110 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. excruciating struggle w ith her rage and pain while trying to understand why her father forced h er to have repeated intercourse w ith him from, th e tim e she was nine years old u n til adolescence. And she does not know w hy she never learned to be strong enough to tell her m other, instead, she has spent h er life living w ith her pain in silence. She asked m e to help her understand why she never learned to have respect for herself or w hy she was not able to protect herself from her fath er or from her two prim os (male cousins) who also sexually abused her. As p a rt of the post-incest traum a, Belen developed a fear of being rejected by m en later in her adult life. “N ot being a virgin m eans to be devalued and worthless as a woman,” was th e m essage she learned as she listened in silence to her friends’ conversations about virginity, prem arital sex, and men. As she recounted: I remem ber listening to these people or to las muchachas (young girlfriends), “ W ell, i f a m an knows that you are not a virgin, he is not going to love you, he is not going to marry you, there is no way someone will be interested in marrying y o u ” As w ith m any female survivors of incest, Belen’s sexual ordeal did not stop with her fa th e r and her cousins. As a young adult, Belen was also a victim of date rape. She still recalls h e r fear of being rejected by m en as the m ain reason she m aintained a relationship with her rap ist and finally decided to m arry him : This must have been so painful, how did you feel after all this happened? I felt very bad, I felt like trash, I felt extremely bad, but I m aintained the relationship w ith him because I wanted to get married. Was that the main reason to maintain the relationship with him? Yes, I wanted to get married, I said to myself, “ Nobody would ever love m e ” 111 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Finally, as if th e psychological ordeal of being a survivor of m ultiple incest and rape experiences w ere not intense enough, Belen was exposed to the additional danger previously described by m any of th e women in the study: Los ho mb res se lo echan en cara a uno cuando urto no es virgen (Men throw it in your face w hen you are not a virgin). Belen described for me h er husband’s disappointm ent and anger about her not being a virgin when he raped her: Well... when my husband abused me, when he raped me, he believed that I was a senorita but then later on he realized that I was not and he g o t very angry..., later on he asked me, “Why you were not a virgin?!” To this day, fear has kept Belen from telling h er husband she was raped by h er father and cousins. B elen’s story in ten sely reveals m any of th e dynamics previously discussed by those women who preserve th eir virginity as a safety device against potential dangers or risks. Belen h as been clearly exposed to a m isogynist ideology socially learned and prom oted by adolescent an d adult women th a t says th a t a w om an who is not a virgin risks being devalued, disrespected, and rejected. In addition, Belen, while being subjected to m ultiple forms of sexual abuse, was also exposed to a blatantly aberrant and magnified form of sexism from her husband who believed th a t a m an is entitled to expect virginity from a woman a t all cost and under all circumstances, including rape. Sim ilarly, N ora Ovalle from G uadalajara lost her virginity in Los Angeles while being violently raped by a Mexican m an she used to date. H er only daughter was the consequence of this traum atic experience. D uring our interview , Nora experienced im m ense pain an d anxiety while th e topic of virginity was discussed. N ora faithfully complied w ith the virginal order for tw enty eight years; all h er life, she dream ed of getting m arried w earing e Z vestido bianco. Being both raped and pregnant made it impossible for her. In 112 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. detail, N ora described the emotional collapse she experienced during and after the rape, including the im pact it had on h er belief system w ith regard to virginity and on th e sex education she w anted to provide for her daughter. I would like to know if you want your daughter to preserve her virginity until the day she gets married? Oh!... welly to tellyou the truth I do not even know... I spent such a long time taking care o f myself, for such a long time, and now I say, w hat for? if you finally end up being...! Now the truth is that I do not know what to think about it. I do not even know if I w ant my daughter to do the same or to explain, well, to her the way things are, you know, sexuality, your sex life, because I do not even know if it is worth preserving your virginity or i f it is better to give yourself to a man when you are in love, I do not know! [tears] Being raped goes beyond a painful personal violation: it uncovers the fragility of the virginal order. As with Belen, th e story of Nora exposes many moral contradictions th a t oppress women. On one hand, we see the symbolism represented by el vestido bianco which, after rape and pregnancy, Nora felt m orally un en titled to w ear. O n th e other hand, for Nora, being raped challenged an idealized code of sexual m orals by disrupting a generational continuation of patriarchally-based moral teachings on sexuality. Nora’ s loss of virginity through rape defiantly created th e possibility for her daughter to be educated in such a way th a t she could reclaim and possess her sexuality. The stories told by Belen and Nora best represent the pain, danger, and contradictions th a t unfold when a Mexican woman loses her virginity as the result of being sexually victimized. Testimonies shared by the other women who lost th e ir v irg in ity due to rape or victim ization under incestuous circumstances were equally traum atizing and painful. For example, Fernanda Galindo, is extrem ely protective of the two daughters she is presently raising. She thinks of them when she cries, experiencing flashbacks or memories of her uncle sexually assaulting her and her younger sister. Tomasita Uribe still cries 113 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. iii silence and confusion trying to forget th e ways in w hich h er uncle sexually- abused h e r w hen she was five or six years old. Victoria Yanez, a victim of rap to (kidnapping of a woman) and violation (rape), still rem em bers vividly th e fear of being killed after a m an she did not know kidnapped h er and took her to his house to rape and abuse her in extrem ely violent ways. She still swallows h er tears w hen she sees th a t her son resulting from being raped has th e rapist’s face and gestures.38 And, C andelaria de la Rosa came to th e U nited S tates running aw ay from her rapist, a neighbor who had raped her many tim es over the years since she was very young. Immediately after th e nurse told her th a t she had given b irth to a little girl, Candelaria cried and prayed th a t h er only daughter would not go through h er sam e ordeal. Beyond th e contrasting circum stances under w hich th e women w ere sexually victimized, all of them shared im portant commonalities. They felt morally devastated, devalued, enraged, and asham ed losing their virginity or experiencing sexual initiation in such an unexpected, aggressive, and offensive way. Consistent with the social symbolism linked to virginity, most of them, a t some point in th eir lives, lived w ith b itter regret of having lost a dream: m i ilusion era casarme de bianco (my dream was to m arry w earing white). And finally, th e ir ultim ate concern is to be able to le arn w h at they can do as mothers so their daughters do not repeat their same terrible story. Conclusion In th is chapter, I have discussed the ways in which virginity is socially constructed by Mexican im m igrant women. A cult of virginity or a need to w orship a n d preserve virginity u n til m arriage goes beyond th e values historically im posed and prom oted by a predom inantly Catholic church. Instead, preserving virginity is a norm socially constructed as a principal life- enhancing resource for Mexican women. Since m arriage is still a m eans of 114 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. subsistence for M exican women in general, preserving virginity is seen as a guarantee for a conflict-free m arital life, for an independent an d financially stable m arriage, an d for the possibility of survival in general. V irginity, as capital femeninOy possesses a social exchange value th a t wom en use in a patriarchal society as a subordinated social group in order to im prove and maximize th eir life conditions and opportunities. In addition, virginity is a protective g u ard a g a in st potential risk s (i.e., pregnancy out o f wedlock, potential family punishm ent, and sexism). These dynamics are linked to two central ideas: I) a complex ethic of fam ily respect, dignity, and honor which associates a daughter’s moral integrity w ith a need to preserve v ir g in ity until m arriage; and, 2) m en’ s expectation of m arrying a virgin and the corresponding fear of women to fail to comply w ith this gender ordinance. Losing one’s virginity before m arriag e for th e vast m ajority of th e women in th e stu d y does not necessarily tra n sla te into women resistin g oppressive ideologies. Even though a th ird o f these women experienced pleasure during th e ir first voluntary sexual encounters, the rem aining stories expose how M exican women’ s sexual encounters and experiences a re tied up with acts of dom ination, flowing from a gender hierarchy to wom en’s social marginalization and sexual victimization. The tru e m eaning of virginity is social. Im portant visible symbols of virginity and non-virginity (e.g., pregnancy, children, the white dress, orange blossom, the w hite coffin) reflect th e social n atu re and significance of virginity and sexuality. These symbols m ake public w h at is a woman’s private and intim ate affair. The powerful social symbolism associated w ith virginity is an invitation to conduct in-depth explorations of social circumstances u n d er which M exican wom en m ay contest th ese a n d m an y other m oral a n d social prescriptions oppressing their personal an d sexual lives. 115 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Lastly, for a woman, raised in a patriarchal society w here virginity is socially venerated and embodied by powerful religions and moral expressions, losing h e r virginity while being raped means m oral and spiritual devastation, undescribable psychological damage, and anger in silence tow ard the sexual oppression still so prevalent in such a condoning and sexist society. The social processes discussed in this chapter on Mexican women and virginity are continuously reproduced throughout th e life span of women. Las mexicanas actively transform and reproduce these dynamics as they face new challenges in their adult lives: providing sex education for their daughters. My next chapter examines th e m other-daughter relationship as an essential com ponent for a com prehensive study of M exican im m igrant women’s sexualities. NOTES 1. Religion plays a role as a source of guilt for som e of the wom en in the study who lost their virginity before marriage. But, ‘religious guilt' seem s more likely to b e exp erien ced as a c o n seq u e n c e rather than as an a n te c e d e n t or prior factor. Interestingly, religion is rarely referred to by these w om en as an isolated or exclusive condition controlling a woman's sexuality. Instead, it is alw ays examined in conjunction with other circumstances such as the family's education in regard to sexuality in general and virginity in particular. In my next chapter, I discuss the mother-daughter relationship with regard to promoting virginity. Of those mothers who ex p ect their daughters to preserve virginity until marriage, only three of them do it based on their religious values. Interestingly, two of these three mothers promote virginity based on their Protestant religion, and only one does it based on her Catholic faith. 2. Mexican scholars have recently expressed an interest In studying the social construction of virginity from a sociological perspective. Consistent with my findings. Ana Amuchdstegui (1998) concludes that the need for preserving premarital virginity is crucial for Mexican women to preserve their social status. Amuchastegui conducted her sociological research in three Mexican communities: two rural communities in O axaca and Guanajuato, and o n e in a working class vecindarlo in Mexico City. In contrast to Amuchastegui's exam inations based on moral theoretical paradigms, I incorporate a feminist perspective of gender relations, power, and inequality in my analyses. S ee ‘ La dimension moral d e la sexualidad y d e la virginidad en las culturas hibridas m exicanas' by Ana Amuchdstegul, Relaciones 74. Primavera 1998, Volumen X IX , 101-133. 3. Consistent with my findings and arguments, Oliva M. Espfn (1986) has examined Latina w om en's sexuality while following parallel paradigms. She expresses, “ The honor of Latin families is strongly tied to the sexual purity of women" (p. 277). In addition, while examining the Interconnections betw een Latino men, masculinity, machismo, and virginity, Espfn concludes: “Sexually, machismo is expressed through an emphasis on multiple, uncommitted sexual contacts which start in a d o le sce n c e .' Later on, she 1 1 6 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. em phasizes, 'Som ehow , a man is more ‘m a ch o ' if he m an ages to h ave sexual relations with a virgin' (p. 280). 4. Historical examinations of archives on colonial social life have analyzed how m ale suprem acy in both indigenous and Hispanic cultures reinforced w om en's subordinate position in colonial Mexican societies. See the collection Album d e la mujer: Antologia ilustrada de las mexicanas, volum e I I , by Marcela Tostado Gutierrez (1991) for a comprehensive historical analysis o f Mexican wom en's social life during the colonial years. 5. The Council of Trent (1545-1563) or El Concillo d e Trento written by Fray Gabino Carta explains the Catholic Church's teachings with regard to sexuality, and how this docum ent served as the basis to indoctrinate the indigenous population (Rubio, 1997). In th e Council of Trent, virginity was defined as an idealized condition. Accordingly, virginity was socially defined in Mexico as the best “certificate'a woman had to prove her d e c en cy and honorability: 'la virginidad era un estado mas perfecto q u e el matrlmonio (virginity wasastate more perfect than maniage)' (TostadoGut&rez, 1991: 197). 6. In Acechando el Unlcornio: La virginidad en la literatura mexicana. Brianda D om ecq (1992) exam ines how the Aztecs advised w om en against the loss of virginity. The Tzotzil (a Mayan group) used lack of virginity as a g o o d reason to invalidate marriage if the husband was not aw are of it. And, the Zapotecs exp ected th e just- married husband to show his mother during the wedding night a white silk handkerchief with spots of blood to prove his wife's virginity. D om ecq cites Fray Diego d e Landa (1959) as saying that am ong Mayans, “little girls were asked to b e ‘honest' and la falta de recato y pudor (lack of m odesty/honesty and chastity/shyness) was punished by rubbing them with black pepper (b eca u se of the sensitive nature of the subject it cannot b e said where) which caused a lot of pain' (Dom ecq, 1992:17-21). 7. In my next chapter, I discuss how this dichotom y is closely con n ected to the different standards of sexual morality socially established for men and wom en. These social processes b eco m e evident as I exam ine these w om en's experiences as mothers providing a sex education for their daughters and sons. 8. Interestingly, the original Spanish text loses its accu racy in the official English translation. The English translation reads: “W omen are inferior beings b e ca u se, in submitting, they open themselves up. Their inferiority is constitutional and resides in their sex, their submissiveness, which is a wound that never heals" (p. 30). See Octavio Paz. 1961. The Labyrinth of Solitude. New York: Grove Press. Translated by Lysander Kemp. 9. The new mestizo nation resulting from the conq u est was represented by an Oedipal triangle: La Malinche as the devalued fem ale or la India embracing the raped maternal figure; the Spaniard father, symbolized by the penetrating conquistador Herndn Cortes; and, their son or the first “official' mestizo called Martin Cortes. La Malinche, as the Mexican version of Eve in th e Genesis of el mestizaje, betrays her people while giving birth in a painful way to what m ay symbolize the first Mexican family. As stated by Paz: “ Y del mismo modo que el nlho no perdona a su m adre q u e to abandone para ir en busca de su padre, el pueblo mexlcano no perdona su traicidn a la Malinche" (p. 78). English translation: “And in the sam e way the little boy d o e s not forgive his mother for abandoning him to search for his father, the Mexican p eo p le do not forgive la Malinche for her betrayal.' S ee Otilia Meza's feminist version o f la Malinche's biography, Malinalli Tenepal: la gran calum nlada. 1988 edition, Mexico: EDAM EX. 10. The im age of la Virgen de G u ad alu p e has b een the object of sp ecial reexaminations, from em ancipatory perspectives, in Chicana/M exican American literature. For exam ple, lesbian theorists h ave redefined the im age of la Virgen de G uadalupe as a rep resen tation o f “in d ig en o u s liberation an d w o m e n 's em pow erm ent' (Zavella, 1997). In addition, in their research with Chicanas, Latina theologians have concluded that Mexican-American w om en may establish powerful spiritual relationships with la Virgen de G uadalupe which result in personal em powering experiences for them as wom en (Rodriguez. 1994). 11. S ee Norma Alarcdn “C hicana's Feminist Literature: A Re-vision Through Malintzln/or Malintzin: Putting Resh Back on the Object," in This Bridge Called My Back: 117 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Writings by Radical Women of Color, eds. Cherrie Moraga anci Gloria Anzaldua (1981), pp. 182-190, New York: Kitchen Table. W omen of Color Press. See Emma Perez's article ‘Speaking from th e Margin: Uninvited Discourse on Sexuality and Power" in Building with Our Hands: N ew D irections in C h ic a n a Studies. Adela d e la Torre and Beatriz M. Pesquera (1993) Berkeley: University o f California Press, for a com prehensive analysis on la Malinche from a Chicana feminist perspective. 12. Personal interview with Dr. G uadalupe I . Solis in Ciudad Valles, San Luis Potosf, Mexico (January 1998). 13. Three out o f the 39 Catholic w om en b e c a m e Protestant after migrating to the United States. Only on e woman in the study said she had been raised in Mexico as a Protestant Evangelical. 14. This finding m ay suggest a contradiction betw een M exican cultural values (beliefs and ideology) and Mexican w om en's sexual behavior (practice, lived reality). However, consistent with my findings, leading researchers in sexuality studies in Mexico, Ivonne Szasz a n d Juan Guillermo Figueroa (1997), have found that premarital intercourse is experienced, on the a v era g e, for the first time by w om en immediately before their first marriage. According to Szasz and Figueroa this dynam ic has not ch an ged over four generations. Even though the reasons responsible for this pattern of sexual behavior in Mexican w om en h a v e not b een exam ined yet in depth, it is important to mention the following ev id en ce. In his professional work as a premarital counselor with 446 young working-class heterosexual couples living in Mexico City, Miguel Padilla Pimentel (1972) found that 95% of these co u p les had practiced premarital sex. Based on the testimonies toid by the male partners to Padilla Pimentel, for many of them , premarital sex w as a w ay to ‘m ake sure' their future wives were virgins. According to Padilla Pimentel, after these men realized that these women were in fact virgins, they felt the moral com m itm ent to marry them as a w ay to com ply with a traditional sexual morality (pp. 84-85). See Miguel Padilla Pimentel (1972) La Moral Sexual en Mexico, Mexico: Editorial Novaro, S.A. De la Pena and Toledo (1991) in a major study with a total of 613 women and men living in Mexico City, indicated that ab ou t 40% of them (about the sam e percent for both genders), identified as very important a woman's preservation of her virginity until the day she g ets married. For an additional 25% of the participants, premarital virginity was defined as som ewhat important, in contrast, only 25% of the respondents identified premarital virginity as something that absolutely has no im portance (p. 19). In a study of adults living in Baja California, De la Pena and Toledo (1992) found that 54% of the fem ales in their study had experienced premarital intercourse. The only tw o women in the present study who have never cohabitated or been married, and who are still waiting until marriage to have intercourse for the first time, are preserving their virginity for reasons other than religion. See ch apter # 6 on sexuality an d religion, for an in depth discussion on the multiple and sophisticated connections b etw een sexuality, religion, faith, and religiosity in the lives of the wom en in this study. 15. The word la morbosidad literally m eans morbidity, illness, or disease, in addition, in Mexican society, the expression la m orbosidad has a special sexual connotation including sexual curiosity and/or sexual symbolism. An exam ple o f som eon e who is morboso/morbosa is a person who maliciously uses sexually explicit lan gu age in his/her verbal expressions. 16. See article by Ann Twinam (1989) ‘ Honor, Sexuality, and Illegitimacy" in Asuncidn Lavrin, Sexuality & Marriage in Colonial Latin America, London: University of Nebraska Press, pp. 118-155. Twinam offers an analysis of the historical and elitist roots of a link betw een a w om an's virginity and family honor, respect, and d e c e n c y in colonial Latin America. 17. The c o n c e p t of *casarse bien“ has b een identified by M exican researchers conducting research with Mexican w om en on their sexuality. In her presentation, 'Sexuatidad y Orden Moral: De las concepciones corporates al control social en una com unldad cam pesina en M exico" (1998 Latin American Studies Association conference, C hicago, II), Mexican anthropologist Rosfo Cbrdova Plaza explained that 118 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. young Mexican women living in Tuzamapan, Veracruz “dream of 'getting married the right w ay' b ecau se the prestige it involves accom panies their marriage throughout the years a n d it will b e rem em bered ev en when partners sep arate and e a c h o n e establishes a new relationship with another person." Original text in Spanish: 'las m uchachas suehan con 'casarse bien casadas/ porque el presflgio que esto Involucra a co m p ah a al matrimonlo a lo largo d e los anos y se sigue recordando, aunque la parefa se haya separado y c a d a uno se haya unido a otra persona." 18. Consistently, other researchers have exam ined the exch an ge value of virginity in both Mexican and Mexican American societies. In her recent sociological study of m en and w om en in three Mexican communities (Guanajuato, O axaca, and Mexico City). Ana Amuchbstegui (1998) conceptualizes premarital virginity as an asset or a transaction com m odity for Mexican wom en. As she states. 'La Importancia de la virginidad femenina p arec e depender de la idea d e que es un blen intercam biado por el matrimonio y. por extension, por la futura segurldad econdmica d e la mujer (The im portance of fem ale virginity seem s to depend on the idea of its nature as an asset which is exch a n g ed for marriage, and as a co n seq u en ce, for the future eco n o m ic security o f the w om an)' (p. 108). Amuchbstegui also found that informants living in areas where gender inequalities m ay b e less rigid (e.g., urban areas) are more likely to recognize w om en's right to experience sexual desire in comparison to other social contexts (e.g., rural areas). Patricia Zavella (1997) in her article “Playing with Fire: The G endered Construction of Chicana/M exicana Sexuality," examines the sexual story of a heterosexual Chicana and con clu d es that ‘the strategy of saving her virginity for m arriage and eventual m otherhood would provide her with the exp ectation of eco n o m ic stability, for the assumption was that a young man would support her in ex ch a n g e of her unsullied reputation" (p. 395). 19. The conceptualization of virginity as a form of capital has been exam ined by Mexican researchers. For exam ple, Rosfo Cbrdova Plaza (1998) con clu d es in her anthropological study in a community in Tuzamapbn, Veracruz: 'Existe en la com unidad un discurso normativo que sobrevalora la posesidn d e un himen intacto com o una suerte d e capital simbdlico que se Juega a una sola carta, el cual se supone que provee a la mujer de beneficlos en su futura union conyugal (There is a normative discourse in the community which overvalues the possession of an intact hymen as a type of symbolic capital which is at risk b eca u se there is only on e card to play, a condition which supposedly provides the woman with benefits later on in her marital union).' As mentioned, Zavella (1997), Cbrdova Plaza (1998), Amuchbstegui (1998), and Szasz & Figueroa (1997) have identified virginity as a form of social capitai. I am expanding on their research by creating the co n cep t of capital femenino in order to analyze th e social construction of virginity from a feminist perspective. The co n cep t of capital fem enino is m olded after the sociological conceptualizations of cultural caoital and human capital. Cultural capital refers to the ‘wealth in the form of know ledge or ideas which legitimate the m aintenance of power and status' (Jary and Jary. 1991). For an in depth theoretical analysis of the c o n c e p t of cultural capital, s e e Pierre Bourdieu's article ‘Cultural Reproduction and Social Reproduction" in Richard Brown (ed.) Knowledge, Education, a n d Cultural Change, London: Tavistock Publication, 1973, pp. 71-112. Human capital is a c o n cep t exam ined by labor economists. Based on human capital theory, ‘individuals who invest time and m oney (including foregone earnings) in education , training and other qualities that increase their productivity and thus their worth to an employer, are said to h ave a greater endow m ent of human capital." (Abercrombie, H ill, and Turner, 1988:115). See Abercrombie, Nicholas, Stephen H ill, and Bryan S. Turner. 1988. Dictionary o f Sociology, New York: Penguin Books. On human capital theory, see Ivar Berg (ed.) 1981, Sociological Perspectives on Labor Markets, New York: A cadem ic Press, inc. 20. S ee article ‘Honor, Sexuality, and Illegitimacy in Colonial Spanish America' by Ann Twinam (1989) in Asuncibn Lavrin, Sexuality and Marriage in Latin America, Lincoln and London, University o f Nebraska Press, pp. 118-155. Twinam exam ines the connections betw een wom en's sexuality, socioeconom ic status, honor, and birth out of 119 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. wedlock in colonial Latin America. As Twinam states: “Illegitimate wom en not only found their pool of potential marriage partners restricted, but their illegitimacy could adversely affect the occupational choices of their sons and the marriage potential of their daughters. A bsence of honor could thus limit the social mobility of both sexes, as well as the future of su cceed in g generations." (P. 124) Also, in Album d e la mujer: Antologia ilustrada de las mexicanas, Vol. I I , Marcela Tostado Gutierrez (1991:200) illustrates the experiences of Mexican women in colonial society with regard to virginity and its social exch an ge value. As she states, “ Asi la ley reconocfa la imporfancia del manfenimiento d e la virfud sexual de la mujer, d e la cual dependfan sus posibilidades maritales, honor de su familia ysu posicidn social (In this way, the law recognized for the woman, the im portance of the preservation of her sexual virtue, a condition upon which her possibilities to g e t married, to maintain family honor an d social status d ep en d ed ).' 21. Even though th e terms machismo and m acho h ave b e e n the ob ject of important examinations and redefinitions (Gutmann, 1996), most of the wom en in this study used these terms while referring to sexism and sexist practices. Accordingly, I use the terms machismo and machisfa as equivalent to sexism and sexist, respectively. In Cautiverios de las mujeres: Madresposas, monjas, putas, presas y locas, Mexican feminist scholar Marcela Lagarde (1997) defines machismo as th e id eology that ‘im pregnates all the political relations in society and the State, and o n e of the foundations of patriarchal culture." For Lagarde, to b e a m acho m eans to “b e strong, violent, conquering or victorious, authoritarian, and at the sam e time irresponsible and negligent based on forms of absolute and arbitrarian power which em a n a te from patriarchy and that is also articulated with other authoritarian political forms." The Diccionario de la Lingua Espanola, the official dictionary in the Spanish speaking world, defines machismo as an 'a c titu d de prepotencia de los varones respecto d e las mujeres (authoritative/dictatorial attitude of men with regard to women)" p. 1287. The Diccionario d e la Lingua Espanola is edited by th e Real Academ ia Espanola, Editorial Espasa Calpe, Madrid, Spain, 1992. Similarly, the Spanish Enciclopedia del Erotismo (1994) defines machismo as “/a valoracidn exa g erad a de la virilidad o d e las cualidades que se atribuyen al vardn, con menosprecio o discriminacidn hacia la mujer (exaggerated valuing of virility or of the qualities associated to th e man, with an attitude of rejection or discrimination toward the woman)" (p. 116). 22. This ev id en ce resonates with the previously discussed conceptualization of virginity as capital femenino which acquires a higher or lower e x c h a n g e value depending on the gender inequalities the wom an is exposed to in a given social context. Consistently, sexuality studies conducted in Mexico identify parallel patterns. Barrios and Pons (1994) have found that Mexican wom en living in rural areas are subjected to more severe and emphasized gender inequalities than wom en living in larger social contexts. In addition, Szasz and Rgueroa (1997) suggest more relaxed sexuality regulations for wom en living in large cities indicating a correlation betw een access to education, em ploym ent opportunities, social spaces, and sexuality. As they state: ‘women who live in less socially restrictive contexts or social groups, where they enjoy greater spatial mobility, and alternatives regarding their p lace of residence, life styles, and a c c e ss to education and paid work outside the hom e experience other standards regarding sexuality' (p. 13). Consistent with this assumption, my analysis of machismo and the ways in which mothers from Jalisco ed u ca te their daughters with regard to virginity (se e next chapter), illustrates machismo as m ore frequently perceived as a potential danger by women born and raised in Jalisco than by the women from Mexico City. In my next chapter, I introduce the c o n cep t of machismos regionales or regional patriarchies in order to explain this and other social dynamics. 23. The term sehorita refers to a woman who has never been married. The social use of this term implies that the woman is a virgin. A sehorita b ecom es a sehora when she gets married. In my conclusion, I discuss som e of the socially constructed linguistic taboos and gender traps associated with both terms. 24. In her acad em ic and clinical examinations of Latina sexuality, Oliva M . Espfn has identified a similar paradigm: “To enjoy sexual pleasure, ev en in marriage, may 120 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. indicate lack of virtue' (Espfn, 1986). S ee Manuel Pena's 1991 article for illustrations of the social construction of Mexican folklore and its multiple interactions with m achism o, and the dehumanization and sexual objectification of wom en. Manuel Pena. ‘Class, Gender, and Machismo: The ’Treacherous Woman' Folklore of Mexican Male Workers,' Gender & Society, Vol. 5, No. 1, March 1991, pp. 30-46. 25. La casa chica may have its historical roots in both pre-Hispanic an d colonial Mexican cultures. See Jacques Soustelle (1984) La vida cotidiana de los aztecas en vfsperas d e la conquisfa. Mexico: Fondo d e Cultura Econdmica. Soustelle talks about the marriage system am ong the Aztecs prior to the conquest of Mexico: ‘marriage was an arrangem ent betw een m onogam y and polygamy, there was only on e ’legitim ate' wife (the w om an th e man married while following all th e socially established cerem onies), but the man also had an indefinite number of official concubines who had a p la c e in the home." According to Soustelle, the concubines' social status was not “ridiculed or rejected" (p. 181). In addition, social and moral tolerance toward adultery by a man also resonated within colonial Mexican societal norms. In Sexuality in Colonial Mexico: A Church Dilemma, Asuncidn Lavrin (1989:68) states: ‘ In colonial society adultery by a man was viewed as a more excusable failing, o n e that would only bring him strong censure if it was carried out without discretion and in a m anner offensive to the wife and the family. Women a ccep ted this situation and were less likely to sue for separation or divorce on grounds of m ale adultery." In addition, examinations of Mexican men's masculinity associate ‘the frequency, diversity, and external expression of sexual practices' as a factor that confirms or reassures a Mexican man's masculinity (Szasz and Figueroa. 1997). See Matthew Gutmann's b ook The Meanings o f M acho (1996) for interesting anthropological illustrations and examinations of la casa chica (pp. 138-141). 26. The c o n c e p t of virginal order is m od eled after R . W. Connell's c o n c e p t of gender order. I utilize the co n cep t of virginal order to integrate the co d es of sexual ethics, that with regard to virginity, are im posed on Mexican wom en by the family, the Church, an d a patriarchal ideology that c o n c e d e s sexual privileges to m en over women. For theoretical analysis of the c o n c ep t gender order, se e R . W. Connell (1987) Gender an d Power, Stanford: Stanford University Press. 27. I use this paradigm inspired on Carol S. V ance's examinations on w om en 's sexuality. S ee Carol S. Vance (ed.) PLEASURE and DANGER: exploring female sexuality. 1984 edition, Boston: Routledge 8 c Kegan Paul. 28. See Lynne Segal's book Straight sex: rethinking the politics of pleasure, Berkeley: University of California Press. 1994. 29. These few wom en's testimonies suggest the existence of multiple masculinities in Mexican society. Parallel to the social reproduction of multiple expressions o f fem ale heterosexualities, som e of these masculine identities are hegem onic, but som e are not (Connell, 1995; Gutmann, 1996). In this study, the overwhelming majority of the w om en identified the former pattern more frequently as they com plained about the multiple expressions of el machismo mexicano. For instance, 15 of th e w om en used this expression while reporting that they were aw are of their husbands' and partners' past or present extra-marital affairs. Unfortunately, very few of them reported non-sexist experiences with men. In my next chapter, I will discuss the existence of machismos reglonales or regional patriarchies as well as the various ways in which machismo is reproduced, co n tested , and/or ch a llen g ed by w om en as they provide a sex education for their daughters and sons. In my conclusion, I offer som e of my reflections on Mexican/Latino men and their sex lives. 30. See article by Ann Twinam. ‘Honor, Sexuality, and Illegitimacy in Colonial Spanish America," in Asuncion Lavrin, 1989, Sexuality and Marriage in Colonial Latin Am erica. pp. 118-155. Twinam exam ines the interconnections betw een honor, fem ale sexuality, virginity, and birth out of wedlock (h//os naturales) as parts of a rigid c o d e of morality during colonial years in Latin America (1630-1820). Twinam offers what could b e the historical roots of coercive marriage and the multifold forms of sexual oppression experienced by w om en like Irasema Quiroga and Trinidad Urbina in contem porary Mexican society. 121 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 31. Abortion in M exico is not legal e x c e p t for w om en whose p regn an cy is a co n seq u en ce of sexual v io len ce including incest and rape. 'In Mexico, abortion is legal under specific circum stances. For rape victims, abortion is legal but the process is com plicated and the sham e, guilt, and family involvem ent may make the process more difficult a n d excruciating for th e victim.' Information offered by Professor Patricia G aleana a t a conference on Mexican wom en hosted by E l Instituto Cultural M exicano in Los A ngeles (April, 28, 1998). Professor G alean a is a gender and w om en studies professor and researcher a t th e Universidad Nacional Autonoma d e Mexico (UNAM) in Mexico City. Eusebio Rubio (1997) states that the law d oes not prohibit abortion in c a se of rape or when the m other's health is a t risk. For m ore detailed information on abortion in Mexico and other Latin American countries, se e Lucfa Rayas, “Criminalizing Abortion: A Crime Against Women." In Report on Sexual Politics. Volume X X X I, Number 4. January/February 1998, pp. 22-26. 32. The Random House College Dictionary, 1988, New York: Random House, Inc. 33. The expression of fracaso or mujer fracasada was used by som e of th e w om en to describe the experience o f wom en who h ave sexual relations before marriage. This com m only used expression is quite revealing: being a fracaso means failing to com ply with the social and moral expectation of being a virgin before marriage and therefore having th e risk of being socially and morally d evalu ed . In Mujer, vlento y ventura, Juana Armanda Alegrfa (1977) exam ines th e social and moral burden p la c e d on women who are described a s a fracaso: society p laces an existential fracaso on them. Ivonne Szasz (1997) Identified the conceptualization of * fracaso" in her research with w om en ed u ca ted in th e state of Hidalgo. In her study, w om en p erceived pregnancy out of w edlock a s a sign of * fracaso" in a wom an's life when it w as not followed by marriage. The co n cep t of mujer fracasada has b e e n also identified by Rosio Cbrdova Plaza (1998) in her anthropological research with w om en from Veracruz. C 6rdova Plaza found that the c o n c e p t of mujer fracasada includes many social categ o ries of wom en including las m adres solteras or single m others who g e t pregnant out of wedlock. 34. In Spanish, the verb fallar g o es beyond “letting som eon e down." Falla r a Iso means: 1) malograrse (to turn out badly): 2) faltar (not to comply with a m an d ate or obligation), 3) frustrarse (to frustrate); and, 4) fracasar (to b e a failure) (Diccionario Larousse Sln6nlmos/Ant6nlmos, 1986 Edition, Mexico: Ediciones Larousse). Thus, for a wom an w ho associated premarital sexual relations with the expression */e falfd a m am d." experiencing premarital sexual relations d o e s not only m ean letting her mother down. Fallar also has multiform sexual and moral connotations which control a young daughter's sex life within family and social contexts. 35. Consistent with th ese gender dynamics, in her anthropological research in a M ichoacan community, Annelou Ypeij (1998) has identified the maternal figure as the one who is to blame for her daughter's immoral behavior or 'conducta indecorosa." Ypeij exam ines three central asp ects of the maternal figure for a better understanding of the mother-daughter relationship. First, the mother is la figura de confianza. that is, she inspires intimacy, sensibility, and trust In her daughter. Second, th e mother, responsible for the education of her daughter, b e c o m e s la m ediadora or a mediator in the father-daughter relationship. That is, gender arrangem ents within the family context make the mother responsible for the education o f her children while the ab sen t father works outside the hom e to com ply with his obligations as a family provider. As part of this dynamic, the maternal figure may protect the daughter from her father. And third, the m other is in ch arge o f protecting 'e l honor y la reputacidn d e la hlja (her daughter's honor and reputation)" while controlling her daughter's behavior. For in depth analysis of these dynamics, see article “Las hijas ’buenas' y las em p a ca d o ra s zamoranas." by Annelou Ypeij in Mummert, Gail an d Luis Alfonso Ramirez Carrillo (1998) Rehaclendo las dlferencias: Identldades de gdnero en Mlchoacdn y Yucatdn, Zamora: E l Colegio d e Michoacbn y la Universidad Autdnoma d e Yucatdn, pp. 179-209. 36. Ibid, 207. Ypeij (1998) also examines how young mlchoacanas working in las congeladoras (refrigeration warehouses/plants) in Zamora learn to o b ey and a c c e p t 122 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the masculine figure's authority within both dom estic (family) and public (work) contexts. These dynamics will b e reproduced in future generations within th e context of m arital life, as m ichoacanas g e t prepared as working daughters and, as future wives, not to question the authority of the male figure in th e family. 37. I explore som e of these stories in more depth in my additional chapters. Besides this group of w om en, whose loss of virginity w as a conseq u en ce of various types of sexual violence, there were other wom en who were survivors of sexual victimization but who were sexually offended later on in life after they had voluntarily lost their virginity. A total of 11 out of the 40 wom en in the study (27.5%) were sexually victimized at som e point in their lives. 38. Victoria Ydfiez was kidnapped and raped in the late 1970s while living in her smail town in Jalisco. Victoria's story is not an isolated or unique ca se. Fiona Wilson (1990) offers anthropological examinations o f el rapto or el robo (kidnapping of a woman) and la violaci6n (rape) as recurring forms of sexual violence against Mexican wom en living in rural areas located in th e western region of Mexico. According to Wilson, these forms of sexual brutality w ere prevalent In this particular geographical area in the 1950s and 1970s (pp. 78-80); families and husbands w ere especially protective of their daughters and wives, respectively. Wilson argues that education and w om en's increased participation in paid labor have b een responsible for a d ecrease in the incidence of .these type o f sexual crimes. See Rona Wilson (1990) De la casa al taller: mujeres, trabajo y clase social en la industrla texfil y del vesfido, Santiago Tangamandaplo, Zamora, Michoacdn: E l Colegio d e M ichoacan. Original title in English: Sweaters. A History of Gender, Class and Workshop Based Industry in a Town in Rural Mexico. 123 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 3 Sexualidadmadres e hijas: The m other-daughter relationship and sexuality “It h u rts me th a t my m other had not been able to be my M end,” said a tearful Soledad Torres, lowering h er voice. After a long pause, she continued, “Regarding m y daughter, I always tell her th at we are M ends and th at M ends talk about everything. More th a n anything, I would ta lk w ith her about th e good and bad of having prem arital sexual relations and all that, so she does not get pregnant and also to protect h er from venereal diseases. B ut I would be much more open with my daughter th an my mother was w ith me so th at there would not be so much taboo. There is no advantage or disadvantage if you are a virgin, I th in k th at is secondary.” Times have changed. Soledad and the other women educating daughters in this study are transform ing M exican women’ s sexual ideologies and th eir social construction across generations. Their stories about the relationships with their daughters illustrate and expand on the argum ent presented in the previous chapter on virginity. Even though it is well-known th at L atin Am erican Catholicism and cu ltu re place strong im portance on fem ale prem arital virginity, Mexican im m igrant women do not automatically advocate prem arital virginity when educating their daughters. And when they do, this practice does not stem from M exican Catholic cultural ideologies.1 Instead, they eith er reproduce or redefine th e im portance of virginity as capital femenino across generations based on the gender inequalities experienced as 124 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women. For them , m otherhood serves as an opportunity to resolve some of th e ir unfinished issues as women. T hat is, as th ey educate th e ir daughters w ith regard to sexuality, m others actively challenge the dynam ics of gender and sexual oppression they were exposed to as heterosexual women w ithin the contexts of the fam ily (e.g., family control on th e ir sex lives, coercive m arriage) and couple relationships (e.g., m arital conflict linked to sexuality issues). For th e se m others, th e issu e of PROTECTION from gender oppression and advancem ent as women (e.g., m arry up and social mobility) is central to the sex education of their daughters. In this chapter, I analyze the ways in w hich Mexican w om en unpack th e ir gendered sexuality luggage while providing a sex education for th e ir daughters in the U nited States. In particular, I examine how th ey transform th e significance of p rem arital virginity w ith in th e context of th e m other- daughter relationship. These redefinitions go beyond Catholic ethics and the values of family honor, or respeto a la fam ilia. Instead, a m other’s treatm en t of prem arital virginity w ith a daughter is based on four gender dynamics: Mothers are concerned about enhancing their daughters* life opportunities. M exican w om en are determ ined to improve the quality of th e ir daughters’ lives while safeguarding them from m any risks w ithin the context of a potential relationship w ith a m an (e.g., recrim in a tio n s, m arital unhappiness, discord and/or conflict) and from m any risks and dangers associated w ith a wom an’ s sexuality (e.g., pregnancy out of wedlock, sexually tran sm itted diseases, casual sex, promiscuity, etc.). Mothers decide whether to advocate prem arital virginity in their daughters based on the gender inequalities they experienced as women educated and located in particular social contexts. I introduce th e concept of machismos regionales or regional patriarchies to explain th e im pact of various expressions of sexism on women’s sexuality across geographical areas in Mexico. I identify the role of machismos regionales on the reproduction of multiple female heterosexualities via motherhood. 125 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Mothers explore the ways in which their daughters can become sexual subjects, versus sexual objects, by promoting sexual autonomy and agency. A s p a rt of this process, m others are confronted by th e m any gender traps and double binds of sexual m orality encountered by women educated in Latin Am erican societies. Mexican mothers who are exposed to culturally different sexual moralities in the United States may experience transformations in their perceptions of a woman*s sexuality while educating a daughter. However, regardless o f th e cu ltu ral context, a woman’s sex u ality is u su ally defined by m en. T h at is, women accommodate or adapt to th e ideas established by th e men in their social and cultural worlds. In addition, I examine th e social reproduction of la doble moral (double m orality standards) as a cen tral dynam ic em erging from these wom en’s stories. The concept of la doble moral is central to the understanding of th e ways in w hich Mexican women reproduce and contest sexism and hegemonic forms of m asculinity as th ey provide a gendered sex education for th e ir daughters and sons. L Virginity and th e Mother-Daughter Relationship As discussed in my previous chapter, Mexican im m ig ra n t women, as a subordinate group, socially construct virginity as a principal life enhancing resource. Some of them w ere exposed to m ultiform oppressive ideologies promoting prem arital virginity (e.g., respeto a la fam ilia an d sexism), and they behaved according to these norm s by having th eir first sexual experiences after m arriage. In contrast, m any of them experienced prem arital sex w hile being exposed to m any risk s, negative experiences, an d coercive social practices. J u s t a few experienced prem arital sex in positive ways. For all of them , as a group, loss of v irg in ity was symbolized by a pleasure-danger continuum, whereby danger w as m ore frequently experienced than pleasure. Table 3.1 illustrates the dynamics of multiple female heterosexualities. 126 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table 3.1 Participants' Pleasure-Danger C ontinuum Loss of premarital virginity is associated with... sexual agency and Intense nej f associated wit f experience includ f disobedience due t family respect, sham confusion, frustration, ambivalence, worthlessness, and failure or fracaso f associated with her first sexual f experience including feelings of f disobedience due to ethic of family respect, shame, fear, confusion, frustration, Intense negative feelings . Pregnancy and coercive marriage . Sexual victimization; (rape and incest) autonomy Sexual freedom Sexual risks/threats — > Sexual oppression gradually increase Across generations, th e mother-daughter relationship begins to invert the dynamics of this image. As the generation of Mexican im m igrant women in th e stu d y become m others, th ey are concerned about protecting th eir daughters and preventing th e ir sexual oppression. To do this, th ey m ust to im prove the life opportunities of their daughters, and all of them wanted their daughters to have a healthy sex life. They have different and contrasting views on how their daughters can accomplish these goals. They explore the various ways in which they can safeguard a new generation of women while challenging and/or protecting them from the forms of sexual and gender oppression they experienced (e.g., ethics of respeto a la familia, feelings of guilt after having sex, etc.). They m ay promote sexual emancipation, autonomy, personal agency in term s of sexuality, while stim ulating sexual literacy and education. They m ay also empower th eir daughters by facilitating less Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. challenge the danger extreme. All of the women interviewed were determined 127 restrictive sexual moralities connected to a woman’ s sex life. However, in spite of these women’s in terest in creating socially progressive changes across generations, the danger extreme is still recreated. The presence of sexism (machismo) and P ro testan t and Catholic religious values w ith regard to virginity still perm eate some of these m others’ ideas about virginity. As illustrated in Table 3.2, loss of virginity is now overrepresented by th e pleasure extreme; th e danger is greatly reduced b u t still alive. Table 3.2 Mother-Daughter Pleasure-Danger Continuum Loss of premarital virginity is associated with... emancipatory sexual morality . sexual agency and autonomy . socially progressive transformations across generations: NO emphasis on ethic of family respect NO expropriation of a woman’ s sexuality by the family . machismo . powerful religious values pirn* Sexual freedom Sexual oppression In addition, Tables 3.3 and 3.4 show im portant differences between two separate groups: women who preserved th eir prem arital virginity and those who did not, respectively. 128 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. JALISCO N=7 MEXICO CITY N=7 V £ > Table 3.3 Women Who Preserved Their Virginity Until Marriage Reason for preserving virginity: the overwhelming majority of women educated in semi- and pre-industrialized areas used the expression “ Los kombres se lo echan en cara a uno cuando um no es virgen [Men throw it in your face when you are not a virgin]” to explain that premarital sexual activity would expose them to marital conflict, e.g., being recriminated against, rejected, misjudged, or abused by a future husband. In contrast to their Mexico City counterparts, they were more likely to perceive premarital virginity as a form of social capital or capital femenino that could be exchanged for financial security and a conflict- free marital relationship. This dynamic is deeply imprinted by rural machismos as an expression of patriarchy promoting intensified gender inequality controlling female sexuality. Mother-daughter relationship and sexuality: mothers replicate their same gender pattern by promoting premarital virginity as a way to protect their daughters from sexism. Reason for preserving virginity: they are more heterogeneous than the Jalisco group. Half of them identified an ethic of family respect, moral obedience toward parents, and fear of them (the mother in particular) as the main reasons to refrain from premarital sexual activity. Other reasons included fear of pregnancy and its negative consequences on women. Mother-daughter relationship and sexuality: the overwhelming majority contests an ethic of family respect across generations by promoting sexual autonomy in their daughters. u Esa es decision de mi hya [That is my daughter’ s decision]” women used as an expression in order to explain it is a woman’s personal decision to be or not to be sexually active before marriage. Most mothers reported being concerned about providing a well-informed sex education that can protect their daughters from risks such as sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, and pregnancy out of wedlock. They believe in promoting the women’s sexual emancipation while teaching their daughters about the importance of sexuality as part of marital life. They were less likely to address fear of sexism, but the few women exposed to sexual violence or emotional abuse by men during their lives were inclined toward promoting virginity as for their daughters. Reproduced w ith permission o f th e copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. T ab le 3.4 Women Who Lost Their Virginity Before Marriage NON-VIRGINS BY CHOICE (N=20) Other than demographics (Jalisco = 9; Mexico City = 11), no inter-regional differences exist for this group. Similarities between both regions are evenly distributed. Pour dynamics characterize this group: Negative feelings for not complying w ith ethic o f fam ily respect (30%): a third of the women experienced guilt, remorse, and a sense of family disloyalty or disobedience for not being able to comply with family morality usually safeguarded by the mother. They identified this emotional experience with the expression: le falU a mi mam& (I let my mother down). (N= 6) Negative feelings as a woman (30%): a third of the women experienced many negative feelings (e.g., fear, confusion, guilt, disappointment, shame, frustration, physical pain, and a sense of worthlessness or fracaso) associated to their first sexual experience. (N=6) Pregnancy out o f wedlock a nd coercive m arriage imposed by the fam ily (15%): women who became pregnant were forced by their parents to marry as a way to repair moral damage done to family. (N=3) Pleasurable feelings (25%): women who experienced premarital sex as pleasurable reported the mechanisms responsible for their feelings (e.g., contested religious morality, family isolation, etc.) (N=5) Mother-daughter relationship and sexuality: across regions, they were more likely to promote sexual autonomy as they educate their daughters. Jalisco women more likely than Mexico City counterparts to express anger with regard to machismo. NON-VIRGINS DUE TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE (N=6) Regional differences: . They were more likely to be exposed to sexual victimization at an earlier age (e.g., childhood) than Mexico City women. Jalisco (N=4) . They received recriminations from husbands for not being virgins at marriage; fear and shame preventing them from talking with husbands about sexual victimization. . They promote virginity for their daughters as a protection form sexism. . One woman was forced by her family to marry rapist in order to repair damage done to family. The second woman (an incest survivor) forced Mexico City herself to marry her rapist due to fear of being rejected by men. The £ (N=2) former promotes sexual autonomy in her daughter; the latter promotes ° virginity due to Protestant values after religious conversion in the U.S. A . Promoting Emancipation and Sexual Autonomy sexuality transitions across generations The m ajority of the m others interviewed who expressed a permissive attitude tow ard prem arital sex for th eir daughters w ere from Mexico City. Interestingly, m ost of the Mexico City mothers who h a d preserved their own virginity until marriage identified themselves w ith this ideology. Most of these mothers actively redefined the sexual morality they were exposed to while growing up in Mexico. Over time, these mothers created and promoted a more em ancipated sexual m orality to educate th e ir d aughters. A focus on preserving virginity was replaced by an interest in providing their daughters w ith a contem porary perception of sexuality and a well-informed sexual education. Azucena Bermudez offers the best example of this type of sexuality transition across generations. I have changed..., for example, I was educated by m y mother in one way and now I am trying to educate my daughter to become more free, more liberal b u t not to the point o f el libertlnaje (lack of moral restraint). In other words, to explain things to her without making her feel that the loss o f virginity is bad for a woman. Back then, i f you were not a virgin a t marriage, you were bad, you were dirty, inside and outside. B u t w hat I am trying to say is... that was the old tradition. Perhaps these days mothers are better educated with regard to this issue and that is w hat we want to transmit to our children and to our daughters. A zucena Bermudez is a 43-year-old m other of th ree children, one daughter and two sons. She was train ed as a preschool teacher in Mexico City, and she currently works as a h ealth educator for an inner city community organization serving Latino immig ran t families in Los Angeles. Azucena, one of the most articulate women in m y study, also worked as a volunteer a t one of the inner city schools where I identified my informants. During our interview, she attrib u ted the transition of h e r sexual m orality to th e m any platicas 131 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. (informal presentations) on sexuality she has attended as p art of h e r train in g as a school volunteer and as a community educator. Azucena displayed a keen awareness of the problems faced by the M exican im m igrant com m unity: drugs, gang activity, sexually transm itted diseases, and a high incidence of L atina adolescent pregnancy. She said th a t she is educating h er children while exploring ways to protect them from these dangerous situations. W ith regard to h e r daughter, she em phasized a need to prom ote sexual autonom y and personal responsibility in h er while also com municating openly w ith h er on sexual m atters. “She is th e one who finally decides w hat to do w ith regard to sex,” Azucena firmly stated. Then, she added, “Like I said, it is completely up to h er. I ta lk w ith h e r about th e pros an d cons, th e good a n d bad of experiencing prem arital sex.” Similar to Azucena, two additional m others addressed the im portance of respecting a daughter’ s m oral autonomy w ith regard to sexual m atters. For them , choosing to preserve or to lose virginity before m arriage becomes th e daughter’s personal responsibility as she approaches a m ature age. W hen I asked Rosalia Silva and N orm a Ortega about th e way they felt w ith regard to their daughters experiencing prem arital sex, th ey replied, I would like for them to wait to have sex. Because you know, they are my little angels and I w ould not like for them to experience any risk, you know, to have sex that young. Here in the United States by the time they are 13, 14 they are already having sex. B u t when they get older, there is nothing I can do about it because she will be a young lady who will be completely aware o f what she does. (Rosalia Silva) With regard to contraceptives and all that, I would not allow her to use them a t an early age. B u t I know that at some point in her life she will have her first sexual relation, and I will not impose my will to keep her from doing it. On the contrary, I would like her to trust me so we can talk about it. (Norm a Ortega). 132 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. B esides p rom oting autonom y in a d au g h ter w ith re g a rd to sexual m orality, Rosalia Silva and N orm a O rtega shared an o th er commonality: virginity is no longer th e most im portant thing; instead, avoiding sexual excess becomes th e m o st crucial factor. Sexual activity before m arriage is appropriate only if specific lim itations are observed. B oth m others, fearing th eir daughters w ill have m ore th a n one sexual p artn e r, expressed th eir concerns about how to protect their daughters from promiscuous practices: I f she is going to marry the guy she is sleeping w ith, it is not a problem w ith me, but i f she is not going to marry him , and then she is going to be that way with one more and then another, that I would not like. (Rosalia Silva) N ot that she has to preserve her virginity until marriage, i f she does it, th a fs fine, but I do not w ant her to be, like a woman, w ith one m a n and then w ith another one. A nything... like people say, it is bad in excess. (Norma Ortega) An additional group of m others expressed the need to redefine priorities while offering sex education to th e ir daughters. For th ese th ree mothers, preserving their daughter’s virginity w as no longer the overwhelming concern. Instead, protecting them from pregnancy or sexually transm itted diseases and openly com m unicating about sex took priority. As w ith Azucena Bermudez, talking about “the good and the bad” of prem arital sexual relations becomes an essential component of their daughters’ sex education, Well, virginity is not that important, like I said, it is secondary. I really do not care i f she is a virgin or not w hen she gets married, it is up to her. B u t I w ant to talk openly w ith her about everything... sex, you know, about the type o f person she is sleeping with, and all the risks she is taking. (Soledad Torres) W ith regards to my daughter..., it is O.K. with me i f she wants to preserve her virginity until marriage, but in case she decides to have sexual relations before she gets married, I have to teach her everything about sexually transmitted diseases. (Graciela Hurtado) 133 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I have told her already, “ Look, you know what? I f s not a matter o f ju s t going to sleep w ith anybody,” I tell her... “ Because from there you find out there are many consequences, diseases, and you could also get pregnant and all that. A nd these days it is n o t only one disease, there are m any diseases.” (Jimena Lombardo) Soledad, Graciela, and Jim ena were seriously concerned about giving their daughters well-informed advice with regard to sexuality. While talking about th e sex education th ey would provide, they commonly reflected on their own fam ily history while exam ining the sexuality transitions th ey w ere actively undertaking. A fter examining her own perspective on virginity, Jim ena Lombardo talked about th e problems she experienced because she lacked a m otherly role model to provide her with an appropriate sex education. Now th a t she is educating her adolescent daughter about sexuality, she shares w ith her daughter some of h er own personal limitations as a mother. A n d th a t is what I tell her, “ Anything that you want to know ju s t ask me about it, even if I do not have the answer for you, we can look for it together.” Because I want her to trust me, before I was so afraid o f talking to her about it, I said to myself, how am I going to talk to my daughter about it? how is she going to take it?... because nobody ever had a conversation with me that helped me to know how to do it. As w ith Jim ena Lombardo, m any of these m others strive to develop a tru stin g m other-daughter relationship w ithin which they can communicate openly about sexuality. Trinidad Urbina illustrates how this dynamic works: Would you like for your daughter to preserve her virginity until they day she gets married? No, to me i t ’ s the same. The only thing is that I really have to talk with her about it. The group of mothers from Jalisco who promote sexual autonomy and emancipation is not as extensive as the one from Mexico City. However, they share four commonalities: 134 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. • These m others had prem arital sexual relations; • They experienced negative feelings while and/or after having prem arital sex; • As women, th ey became aw are o f th e ir own g e n d e r oppression a t some point in th eir lives. As mothers, all of them transform ed th e ir ow n n e g a tiv e feelin g s a n d experiences while redefining and reframing, through th eir daughters, prem arital sex as a n opportunity of sexual emancipation for a new generation of young women; • They were concerned about protecting their daughters in te rm s of s e x u a l p ra c tic e s (e.g., pregnancy, sexually transm itted diseases, promiscuity), and their experiences as women in a potential heterosexual relationship (i.e., intimacy, respect, healthy m arital life). W ithin th is group, three of th e women’s stories resonate w ith their Mexico City counterparts’ in two ways: a) one of them is concerned about sexually transm itted diseases and pregnancy out of wedlock; and, b) two of them display an interest in promoting personal agency and sexual autonomy in th e ir daughters. F irst, Idalia Jim enez addresses how she has redefined priorities while thinking about the sex education she will provide to her children, and in particular, to her daughter. What I have in m ind to tell them is th a t when they have their first sexual relation this is not som ething bad because it is something that their bodies desire, b u t that they have to take care o f themselves, not only because o f pregnancy, but because o f the many diseases that we have now. T hat is what concerns me the most, not sex itself that much, but the many diseases that we have these days. And second, Xochitl Arteaga and D eyanira Estevez talked about their desire to allow th eir daughters to develop some type of sexual agency and to promote moral independence with regard to sexuality. 135 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, that is her decision. She is the one who will decide about it. I have actually talked to my husband about it. I told him, *W hat i f she gets pregnant or anything happened to her?” A nd he said, “ She is my daughter and I am here to respond to her a n y tim e she needs m e.” Because, yes, she is sexually precocious... too muchI (Xdchitl Arteaga) I have to teach her in a way so she becomes more alert, so she knows about w hat is good and w hat is bad. For example, i f some day she has sexual relations, she has to think about it and m ake her own decision. I f she wants to do it some day, it is completely up to her. (Deyanira Estevez) Both Xochitl and D eyanira w ere from two different sm all towns near G uadalajara and both exhibited im portant ways in which M exican women m ay reclaim sexual agency by questioning and resisting sexual oppression. Xochitl, for example, had to challenge some of th e sexist traditions she was exposed to in her fam ily and her sm all town. Social awareness has helped her to resist some of th e social practices th a t commonly oppress women sexually in h er sm all M exican town. Xdchitl’s accurate interpretation of sexist M exican refranes or proverbs helps h er to question sexist ideologies. I th in k that we have to be equal, why is the man the only one who can have sex?! I remember that my father always said and has always said it, he says and many people say “Ahf va mi gallo... (There m y rooster goes...).” I do not remember how it goes but it seems like the father tells his son, “ Go o u t and do whatever you want.” B u t i f he has daughters, he locks them up, a n d that is not fair! Right? Because education m u st be the same. I f men receive opportunities, women m ust have the same opportunities. N ot ju s t because he is a man does it mean that he is going to do it, a n d not ju s t because she is a woman does it mean that she will not do it. To me, everything has to be equal. D eyanira exhibited a p arallel p a tte rn to the Mexico City m others interested in teaching “the good and the bad” of prem arital sexual experiences. She reflected on her personal history while examining her ultim ate decision to allow h er daughter to be open about exploring her own sexuality. In our 136 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. interview , she ta lk ed to me about th e personal sex u al tran sitio n s she experienced while still living in Mexico. As with X6chitl, Deyanira came from a conservative family an d was highly aw are of the religious teachings widely practiced in her sm all pueblo. H er rebellious of questioning family traditions u ltim ately helped h e r to reclaim personal autonomy. She now strives to promote this autonomy in h er daughter. A t least I was not that type o f submissive girl whose parents tell her to stay in a place and then you would have to stay there. O f all the children in my family, I was the one who rebelled against it, I was the black sheep o f the fam ily [laughs], I did not give them the chance to control me. They wanted me to be out there wearing a full-length dress, and that was not my kind o f thing. W hen I asked h er about w hat had helped her to rebel against the family rules, she said she h ad developed a more em ancipated perception of female sexuality after the age of 14 w hen she moved out of h er sm all town to live in Guadalajara. Well... I do not know, I think that whenyou live in a sm all town you live inside o f it, closeted. You do not know anything about the rest o f the world nor the rest o f the people. T h a t becomes your life. Now, i f you g et to know something other than your home and all that, that is w hat I think helps you to open your eyes. Deyanira’s story b est exemplifies how sexual transitions emerge when personal agency, social aw areness a t various levels, migration, and exposure to a d ifferen t social context combine to help a w om an become sexually em ancipated. H er story resonates w ith th e experience of a group of Mexican youth m igrating from a sm all town to Mexico City, outlined in a study by Ana A m uchdstegui in 1994. A m uchastegui found th a t some of the women exhibiting the greatest aw areness of their own sexuality were those who were able to separate themselves from their group social norms.2 137 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. In contrast to Deyanira, Felicia Gomez, another m other from a small town, talked about how her own permissive attitude with regard to her teenage daughters’ sexuality stems from h e r fam ily context. Felicia is not concerned about her daughters preserving th eir virginity until marriage. Instead, being able to develop healthy communication w ith a partner represents a critical issue in m arital life. Because I never saw it in m y fam ily as something special, because my mother never told me, aYou have to walk down the aisle wearing white, you have to be a virgin,” or anything like that. That is why it is not im portant for me. Actually I am not even m arried yet because m arriage for me is no longer important. Communication is w hat is important for me in your relationship with your partner, not having problems, having a nice relationship. And lastly, for a couple of m others from two small towns, w hether their daughters are sexually active before m arriage is not as im portant as whether their daughters are genuinely in love or whether the potential for a perm anent relationship exists. Oralia Pacheco and Romelia Sanchez have adolescent daughters. Both firmly promote these values while educating th eir daughters. In case they had sexual relations before marriage, I would like for them to do it with a person they really love and with the one they are thinking about spending the rest o f their lives with. I would like for them to be sure o f that. I feel like they are more likely to be respected that way. (Oralia Pacheco) I tell them, “ Take care o f yourselves, respect yourselves, respect your bodies, and the only thing I am going to ask you is that when you decide to have sexual relations do it because o f love. Do not do it because you w ant to impress your friends. No I Do not do it to satisfy nobody else’ s needs but only if you feel like you are deeply in love.” (Romelia Sdnchez) Even though O ralia and Rom elia are sexually perm issive, to some extent they are protective of their daughters. Resonating w ith some of the Mexico City m others, they are protecting their daughters from promiscuous 138 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexual practices. Being in love or in a perm anent relationship is a w ay to protect them from this risk. As Romelia stated: Well... I have talked w ith my daughters a n d I have told them th a t when they have sexual relations I w ould like for them to have one partner, right? That I would not like for them to go here and there experimenting. I would like for them to have one boyfriend, someone perhaps whom you love so deeply and with whom you make love, and if they get married..., well, that is my daughters’ problem. B u t my ideal is th a t they have one boyfriend, that they fall in love w ith him, and then they either cohabitate or get married. Rom elia and O ralia prom ote a parallel p attern to the one they followed as young women. Both had prem arital sexual relations. Both have m aintained perm anent relationships w ith the men w ith whom th ey had their first sexual experience. Across generations, this group of Jalisco m others prom otes sexuality tran sitio n s. W ith in th e context o f th e fam ily, ad d itio n a l transform ations take place as m others actively d isru p t the ethics linking values of respect for the fam ily w ith a daughter’s sexual activity. B. Contesting an Ethic of respetoa la tamUia Across Generations loss of virginity: from family oppression to maternal protection Loss of virginity and pregnancy out of wedlock no longer represent a risk for a daughter within the fam ily context. Mothers transform an ethic of respeto a la fa m ilia from potential punishm ent and condem nation (i.e., coercive m arriage) into family protection, offered m ainly by themselves as caring and understanding m aternal figures. For a group of m others, mostly from Jalisco, this dynam ic represented an im portant transition across generations. Even though m ost of these m others would have preferred th a t th eir daughters preserved th eir virginity as a safeguard from potential risks due to machismo (i.e., “m en throw it in your face when you are n o t a virgin”), these m others redefine th e loss of virginity and a potential pregnancy out of wedlock as a personal situation demanding a caring, understanding, and nurturing attitude 139 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. from, them as m others. Tom asita U ribe and Victoria Yanez anticipated a protective, more perm issive attitude tow ard th eir daughters in th e event of a potential pregnancy o u t of wedlock. I think that it is a mother's dream to know that their daughters will not have bad experiences in their lives. So it is im portant that they are virgins at marriage an d that they are respected by the men they choose. B ut i f the opposite happened, I would be a supportive mother. I would support them. I would not be like those parents who throw their daughters out to the streets. “ You get out o f here! You are this and you are th a t!” No ! Because all o f us are hum an beings. We all make mistakes in life. (Tomasita Uribe) I would not like my daughter to act crazy, to go out and sleep with more than one man, but i f some day she had an accident... i f she had a bad experience, ju s t the way it happens to people when they are young, it would h u rt me. B ut I would not be the way parents used to be in the past, when they used to h it you, to beat you up for doing it. No, not anymore! I would be a very understanding mother. (Victoria Yanez) M others like T om asita U ribe a n d V ictoria Ydfiez c rea te cross- generational sexuality transitions by challenging traditional patterns of sexual morality, and they become understanding and caring m others w ith regard to pregnancy out of wedlock. Interestingly, th ree additional m others promoting prem arital virginity as a way to protect th e ir daughters from th e danger of sexism, Salome Tovar, Yadira Velez, an d H ortencia Ibarra, expressed their concern about their daughters’ welfare while questioning old parenting patterns of sexual morality. Salome Tovar, for instance, reflected on her own experience after she learned th a t one of her adolescent daughters was pregnant. During the interview, Salome described her own reactions in detail after learning about her adolescent daughter’s pregnancy. E ven though Salome always w anted all of her daughters to be virgins at m arriage, again to gam er respect from men, she displayed a very understanding attitu d e and became her daughter’s ally during this difficult experience. Salomd recounts how her conversations w ith 140 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. th e nurses a t th e clinic helped h e r to develop a more understanding attitude tow ard h er daughter. However, h er daughter’s out of wedlock experience represented a serious problem for h er as a wife and as a mother. Salome was afraid of her husband, and she needed to protect herself and her daughter from his potential aggressive reaction. WeU... the nurses told me, “ Your daughter is neither the first one nor the last one to go through this.” I said, yes, they are right. B ut now what I feel is that when her father gets home he is going to kill me ! The nurse told me that I needed to understand my daughter, and she was right, she needed to he understood. But when I was on my way back home I did not know i f I was walking or flying. C onsistent w ith the processes discussed in m y previous chapter (Le falle a mi mama: I let my mother down section), Salome is aware of her moral responsibility for her daughter’s sexual behavior and is th u s aware of the potential consequences of it. In addition, while following the pattern of the mediator, Salom6 described how h er successful intervention and protection of h er daughter from her husband’ s negative reaction m eant she was a good wife and m o t h e r .3 W hat was interesting to observe is how Salome challenged an old tradition. She did not force her pregnant daughter to get married, instead, as the mediator, she questioned and confronted her daughter’s boyfriend for being irresponsible and challenged h er daughter to take her role as a single m other seriously. When I asked Salome if, at some point, she had thought about asking h e r daughter to g et m arried because of h er pregnancy, she replied: No, because the little girl’s father did not help a t all with anything. So by the time the baby was bom and he wanted to get closer to her, I told him th a t since he had not been around when my daughter needed him the most, she needed him no more. A nd I told my daughter, “ Now you are going to work so you can support your daughter and now you will become aware o f the responsibility that you got yourself into.” 1 4 1 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Salome Tovar’ s story offers some examples of how, in spite of promoting virginity until m arriage, a m other bom and raised in a small town in Mexico can create changes in sexual m orality across generations by n o t forcing a daughter to get m arried. Women like Salome challenge restrain in g family ethics th a t oppress an d force Mexican women to fit into fictional molds of family and social adjustm ent (i.e., coercive marriage). Y adira Velez h as never had a daughter pregnant out of wedlock. However, like Salome, she challenged th e socially created p attern s of moral adaptation involving th e sexuality of a daughter. While discussing w ith me some of the difficulties faced by Latina girls to preserve their virginity until m arriage, Yadira, from Mexico City, followed an identical attitu d e to these Jalisco mothers. She expressed a very understanding and caring attitu d e in case h er daughter became pregnant. W hen I asked her w hat she thought would happen to her daughter if she ever had sex before marriage, she replied: For me its som ething that is very... it would hurt me a lot, it would be painful for me but I would never kick her out o f m y house. I would talk to her very seriously about it but I w ould not tell her, “ Because you gave yourself completely to that guy, you have to marry him ...” especially if the m an is someone who is not desirable or convenient for my daughter, I would never force her to do it. As discussed in m y previous chapter, Yadira experienced the rejection of her father as a young woman after cohabitating w ith her boyfriend and getting pregnant. D uring th e interview , she explained how inconsiderate and unhealthy it would be if she were to follow the same family p a tte rn while educating her adolescent daughter. Instead, she explained why it would hurt her so much if her daughter lost her virginity. Her daughter is 16 years old, and a loss of virginity would represent the risk of getting pregnant and n o t being able to finish high school. Yadira has w itnessed m any stories of L atina 142 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. pregnant adolescent girls in her inner city barrio. Thinking about h er daughter repeating a sim ilar story provoked intense anxiety in her. tik e Yadira, H ortencia Ibarra has never had a daughter pregnant out of wedlock. Similarly, Hortencia promoted virginity until m arriage, b u t she said she would be a caring m other if her daughter had prem arital sexual relations. She questioned oppressive patterns th a t dem and th at a woman m ust tolerate, a t all cost and under all circumstances, m arital difficulties. And she criticized h er m other’s traditional teachings regarding th e ways women m u st deal w ith m arital conflict while addressing a need for change in the education of h er own daughters. H ortencia referred to th e w ay things used to be in Mexico, and her attitude clearly shows a transition after living in the United States. B u t look, over there i f a yo u n g g irl runs away w ith her boyfriend... uy! all the things th a t everybody is going to sayI A nd over here, w hat I think is... like I tell my daughter, “ The day you have a boyfriend and you marry him you are going to do it and that is fine. B ut if it is not that way, I am not going to kick you out o f my house or tell you to g et out to the streets ju s t because you had sexual relations.” I think I would not do that... its like my mother says, “ I f he treats you badly you have to change, you have to change because he is your husband.” A nd what I think is that if my daughter gets married, and she is not happy or she is abused or mistreated, why am I going to tell her to p u t up w ith him? Hortencia has clearly experienced a cross-generational transition with reg ard to her ideology on gender relations w ithin the m arital context. In addition, it is interesting to observe how women like Hortencia m ay also link th is type of personal transition to th eir im m igration experience {“ over there” v ersu s “ over here”). H ortencia clearly shows some of th e tran sitio n s in sexuality m others m ight experience w hile living in th e U nited States. Experiencing m otherhood while educating a daughter is an opportunity for th em to challenge and transform across generations traditional fam ily and 143 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. social p attern s th a t oppressed them in th e past. H ortencia cried w hile describing th e m any ex tra -m arital affairs h er h u sb an d has h ad and she became furious when she talk ed about her m other’s advice th a t she tolerate his behavior. Because of th is, she is still struggling to m aintain h er m arital relationship. Educating a d au g h ter was h er opportunity to challenge th e oppressive experience she lived w ithin her family context. M others like Y adira an d H ortencia illu strate w hat family th erap ist M u rra y Bowen describes as a Multigenerational Transmission Process. According to Bowen, fam ily em otional processes (e.g., em otional illness, p a tte rn s of em otional ab u se, etc.) are tra n sm itte d from generation to generation, and accordingly, as stated by Nichols and Schw artz (1991), ^Unresolved relationships w ith our original families are the m ost im portant unfinished business of our lives.” For many Mexican women like Y adira and H ortencia, promoting em otionally healthy and socially progressive parenting p a ttern s w hile educating a dau g h ter m ay become a coping m echanism to confront sexual oppression across generations. These women m ay begin to resolve original fam ily relatio n sh ip s by disrupting th e reproduction and transm ission of sexism from m others and fathers to daughters. By raising a daughter, a woman has th e opportunity to re-mother herself in a healthier and more appropriate m anner an d to create socially progressive changes involving gender relations. In spite of all th e se progressive changes, loss of virginity before m arriage still represents a danger for a woman. The m ain sources of danger are no longer the ethic of fam ily respect and adaptation to it (i.e., coercive m arriage and family honor), instead, machismo and religion become the m ain sources of oppression. 144 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C . Preventin g - T ofVSrginitv a major protection against sexism The m others who advocated prem arital virginity came prim arily from Jalisco. Most of them were women who had preserved their virginity until marriage themselves. This group included women who had involuntarily ended their virginity because of sexual violence (i.e., rape). As previously explained, m any of the women in the study refrained from prem arital sexual relations as a way to protect them selves from being rejected, misjudged or em otionally abused by th e ir fu tu re husbands. Accordingly, these Jalisco m others replicated th e sam e gender p a ttern th a t would eventually protect th eir daughters, as women, from the socially learned fear discussed in th e previous chapter: Los hombres se lo echan a uno en cara cuando uno no es virgen (Men throw it in your face when you are not a virgin). For these mothers, preserving th eir daughters’ virginity is a strategy used to protect their daughters from machismo. Virginity at marriage increases the likelihood th at a newly m arried wife will he respected by her husband. Hortencia Ibarra, a 33-year-old m other of two daughters, reflected on how virginity h ad protected h er from h er husband’ s potential complaints, and she faithfully promotes this belief as she educates her daughters. I already told her that I want her to preserve her virginity until the day she gets married... so, I would like for my daughter, well for both o f them, to be that way, to be virgins a t marriage so their husbands do not reproach them and they feel good about themselves. My husband, he cannot complain about it. Sim ilarly, Ju a n ita Loreto expressed th a t virginity represented a guarantee for her daughters to be respected in m arriage and to, therefore, have a healthy m arital relationship. When a girl is not a virgin, a m an, when she becomes his wife, is not going to treat her right because he would treat her like ina puta (awbcre). He would say,“ You were w ith other men before.” That is an excuse to fight, to argue, or to get divorced,if not worse than that. 145 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Azalea Zapata, from Mexico City, also preserved h er virginity until marriage, and she strongly believed th a t virginity would protect h er daughters from the recrimination of a macho husband: Men would always tell them things, “ Thatyou were not a virgin, that who knows with whom you were with before” A n d they would complain about it a lot. That is why I think th a t my daughters would be able to have a better marriage, so nobody would tell them anything. As discussed in my previous chapter, A zalea experienced serious difficulties while having sex w ith h e r husband (her husband’ s complaint about her vaginal lubrication). Because of th is painful experience she had as a m arried woman, she firm ly believed th a t virginity w as crucial for th e protection of her daughters from potential accusations from a man. Hortencia, Juanita, and Azalea preserved th e ir virginity until m arriage and they felt it protected them . They prom oted th e sam e sexual behavior p attern while educating their daughters. In addition, mothers who w ere not virgins at m arriage believed th at lack of virginity created m arital conflict for them, and they hoped th eir daughters would be protected from these problem s by preserving th eir virginity until m arriage. Candelaria de la Rosa, Tom asita Uribe, and Victoria Ydnez were survivors of sexual violence. Rape represented the first sexual experience for all of them. Even though their loss of virginity was forced, not voluntary, their husbands reproached them a t some point in their m arital lives for not being virgins. Shame, guilt, or th eir husbands’ refusal to listen kept them from revealing the tru th about their rapes to their partners. No, I did not tell him, I ju s t told him that I was not a virgin but I did not tell him about it because he did not w ant me to tell him about it. When I was going to tell him, he said, “ I f you don't want, do not teU me about it. I f you feel bad to tell me, do not tell me about it. After all, these days is kind o f difficult to fin d a virgin woman anyway. ” (Candelaria de la Rosa) 146 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. L ack of virginity a t m arriage h as been a t th e core of th e m a rita l conflicts experienced by these three women. Their husbands’ abuse of alcohol aggravated some of the personal difficulties faced by both of them . A h a ! It is good to be a senorita a t marriage because m en complain, they say, “ No, that is w hat you say, that you d id it w ith one man, but only God knows w ith how many you were w ith that I did not know about .” A nd i f s ju s t a reason for them to start drinking and to offend you. Either because they drink or because you have a fight. (Tomasita Uribe) Well, before my husband used to drink a lot and when he got home drunk he always complained about me not being a virgin a t marriage. He always yelled at me an d he said that I w as always thinking about someone else. (Candelaria de la Rosa) When we get angry at each other, he complains to me about it a lot and I ask him “ W hy” and he says that it is because he was upset. But when he gets upset, he always brings it up. He has never complained about the child but he has told me he is upset because I was with another man. (Victoria Yafiez) Exploring issues w ith regard to sexuality, virginity, and a daughter’s sex education was very painful for these three mothers. While reflecting on th e sex education th a t they would like to offer to th e ir daughters, th ey began to anticipate machismo in their daughters’ future lives. This provoked anxiety. W hat i f they end up w ith a machista m an like it happened to me? Well, you were not even a virgin. God knows who was the first man, or how many touched you,” and they do not say, “ The first one” but “ How m any touched you,” even i f it had happened only with one man! That is why I do not w ant for my daughters to suffer. That is why I w ant them to preserve their virginity until the day they get married. (Tomasita Uribe) B u t what if some day they have a fight, and I don’ t know... when you fight with your husband it always comes out... and then I think that probably some day he w ould say, “ W hy do you complain about it? I f you were not even a senorita when we got m arried! How do I know with how many men you were with?” I imagine that he w ould say som ething like that to her. (Victoria Yanez) 147 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Yet, as discussed in m y previous section, while th e y were concerned about their daughters encountering potential risks due to machismo, these two m others in particular, anticipated a protective, m ore perm issive attitude toward their daughters in the event of a potential pregnancy out of wedlock. These m others play th e role of the m ediator in two ways: 1) they mediate between a sexist society and their daughters by making them aware of some of the risks of losing virginity; and, 2) they mediate between th e fathers and their daughters by protecting them and providing support in ra9ecfapregnancycait(fwedlock. Finally, another danger now governing the sexual agency of a daughter m ay come from religion. Interestingly, it is not the Catholic religion which automatically controls the sexuality of a daughter; b u t P rotestant principles resulting from a m other’s religious conversion as p a rt of h er immigration experience. Three m others from Mexico City promoted a pro-virginity ideology based on religious principles. W ithin th is group we find Belen Carrera and Fernanda Galindo. Both women are th e only two m others in the study who became P ro te sta n t after living in Los Angeles. B o th sh ared m any commonalities—they were raised in the Catholic faith in Mexico City, they had prem arital sexual relations, and a t some point in th e ir lives they had been victims of sexual violence. For both, becoming P rotestant m eant redefining th eir sexual m orality w ithin th e fram ew ork of a m ore fundam entalist, traditional, and conservative ideology. Bel6n Carrera, for example, at the age of 43, after becoming a Protestant, now expects both her daughters, as well as her sons, to preserve their virginity until marriage. Belen explained th at being Catholic represented being ignorant about im portant m oral teachings such as preserving virginity u n til m arriage. After becoming literate in religious morality, Belen strongly believes th a t being sexually active is a sinful act of adultery condemned by God for single people of both sexes. 148 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Like I said... when there is fornication, there is adultery within any type o f situation or circumstance. A nd then th a t is why things do not work out right because, like the Bible dictates, sins or any type o f distraction is bad. L ater during the interview, Belen talked about some of the messages she is currently sending to her daughters w ith regard to virginity. I have told them not to let anybody touch their bodies, not to let anybody look a t their bodies. B u t in particular i f some day they fall in love, if they felt attracted toward a boy, that they should not do it, that they should respect their bodies. I f they love themselves, they have to respect their bodies so nobody sees them or touches them, and that they do not have sexual relations until the day they get married. Sim ilarly, F ernanda Galindo becam e a P ro testan t a t her m other’s insistence after living in Los Angeles for more than six years. She became highly involved in youth education a t h er new church and she is now conducting organized presentations for the girls a t th e Sunday school. There, Fernanda learned th a t virginity is a moral value th a t m ust be promoted, and the pastoral orientation she offers is based upon th is golden rule. F ernanda is also educating her oldest daughter while following these teachings. She reflects on her own fracaso or failure, that she became pregnant out of wedlock and was forced by h er family to m arry her child’s father. She reflects on her personal experience while educating her daughter: Like I already told her, “ I w a n t you to look a t the mistake I made and you do not have to go through the same but you have to behave in a different way.” Because I already told her what is going to happen to her if she has sex, and she cannot say that I d id not tell her. Like I told her, “ I would love for you to get married the right way, you know, wearing white. I would love for you to give me the satisfaction I was not able to give to my mother. It has to change. You have to be better than me.” F ernanda Galindo follows a parallel process to w hat some of the Jalisco mothers have exhibited—creating sexuality transitions across generations to resolve, question, or challenge some of h er unfinished personal issues involving 149 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexuality. In. Fernanda’ s case, as a morally devalued woman now m othering a daughter, she expresses a need to resolve through her child her own personal fracaso, th a t as a young woman, she was responsible for losing h e r virginity before m arriag e. F e rn a n d a ’s d a u g h te r is now in h e ritin g a m o ral responsibility—she has to be better th a n h e r m orally devalued m other. A more rigorous and restrictive P rotestant m orality is reinforcing th is m ulti- generational family ethic. A woman’s sexuality is associated w ith fam ily obedience, honor, and respect across generations. Belen C arrera and Fernanda Galindo reveal a sexuality transform ation th a t promotes a sexually regressive ideology. By becoming P rotestant, both m others incorporate a m ore restrictive sexual m orality w hich u ltim ately expropriates and controls a daughter’ s —and a t times, a son’ s—sexuality. The third woman in th is group is Lolita Iglesias. Lolita is a 26-year-old single m other raising h er th ree daughters in th e U nited States. Lolita has never been married. According to her, sexual and emotional involvement were more powerful than the Catholic Church’ s teachings on m arriage and sexual morality. Her first daughter was bom after she cohabitated w ith a form er boyfriend; her other two daughters were the resu lt of an unstable relationship. Lolita’s interest in prom oting a pro-virginity ideology with her daughters is based on her Catholic faith. While thinking about her oldest daughter, she commented: More than anything... I would like for them to be virgins a t marriage, it would be nice. My daughter is educated in the Catholic faith and that is what she has to do, to preserve her virginity until marriage so she is pure and can wear white. B u t more than anything, I would like my daughter to find someone who knows how to value her as a woman, even i f if she does not get married. 150 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Lolita said th a t m othering th ree girls has m ade h er reflect on her own experience as a woman. W hile talking about th e fu tu re lives of h er three daughters, Lolita reflected on h e r own sexual experiences outside of marriage. She explained how her own em otional difficulties (i.e., fear of loneliness) were responsible for h er previous relationships with men. She hopes h er daughters will not replicate h er story. In addition, in spite of h er interest in preserving her daughters’ virginity until m arriage, Lolita’s m ain concern is to know th a t her daughters will be valued as women, th a t they will “be tru ly loved and respected by a m an.” S im ilar to F e rn a n d a Galindo, she hopes h e r daughters will accomplish w hat has been difficult for h er to achieve in h e r life—to be valued, loved, and respected by a m an even if she never gets legally m arried. Lolita’ s additional concerns as a m other include the high incidence of pregnancy out of wedlock among L atina teenagers and sexually transm itted diseases. In sum, in spite of some inter-regional differences (i.e., Jalisco versus Mexico City), M exican wom en have th e potential to actively participate in sexuality transitions across generations via motherhood w hile educating their daughters. As illustrated: 1) th e y m ay express a special in terest in developing a well-informed level of sexual literacy in a daughter while supporting sexual em ancipation, independence and/or agency; 2) they m ay transform socially- learned ethics of respect for th e fam ily into ethics of caring, of u n d erstanding, and of a non-punishing attitu d e in the case of a daughter’s pregnancy out of wedlock; and, 3) they may d isru p t old patterns th a t force women into socially constructed molds of family and/or social adjustm ent (i..e., forcing a pregnant daughter to get m arried, tolerating an unhappy m arital relationship). All of th ese changes ta k e place as w om en create tra n sfo rm a tio n s across generational lines while challenging th eir own oppressive experiences as women. However, th e same sexual dangers th a t these m others faced as young 151 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women are still alive and well, and accordingly, they are also reproduced across th e generational lines. B ecause of th is, m others m ay pass onto th e ir daughters th e same beliefs th a t protected them as women. For example, a m other’s interest in prom oting prem arital virginity as a safeguard against sexist ideologies. Finally in families where a n im m igrant mother becomes Protestant in the United States, religion m ay control a daughter’ s sexuality by strengthening a fundam entalist sexual morality. Clearly, Mexican wom en may actively recreate m any possibilities across generations to challenge the sexual objectification of their daughters. However, unexpected gender traps may create sexual morality dilemmas for these m others as they educate their daughters. D . Sexual Oppression and Sfitism’ s Double Binds the disenchantment of virginity as capital femenino “ jOyeme ! jgTu me querias virgen y ahora me sales con que quieres que te haga lo que una mujer con experiencia haria?! (Hey! You wanted me to be a virgin and now you tell me th a t you w ant me to do to you w hat a woman w ith experience would do?!)” exclaimed Trinidad U rbina while sharing with me the sexual stories she has heard regarding th e problems encountered by virgin women after they get m arried. For some of th e m others in this study, th is painful paradox was p art of th e ir m arital experiences. They learned in an excruciating way th a t p rem arital virginity collapses as a form of capital femenino w hen a husband complains to his wife about her lack of sexual knowledge. E ducating th e ir daughters now presented them w ith a contradiction of sexual m orality—not being a virgin may translate into m arital difficulties, and siTnnltannmislv. being a virgin at m arriage does notautomatically translate into aform of m arital protection fcr a woman. As illustrated inTable 3.5,a danger-danger continuum b est represents this sexist double bind paradigm. 152 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Table 3.5 Sexism 's Double Binds o n a Danger-Danger C ontinuum . A virgin woman becomes a fracas o sexual as a wife and experiences mai conflict f . A non-virgin woman is r sanctioned by a sexist husband and experiences marital conflict danger danger Preserving virginity Losing virginity The formula: “Virginity = Conflict-Free M arriage” is no longer valid. It has been replaced by a gender la b y rin th of blind alleys, lead in g a w om an—regardless of w hether she loses or preserves her v irg in ity —to unavoidable danger. T hree mothers were caught w ithin this type of sexual m orality trap reproduced in sexist societies. Irene Juarez preserved her virginity until m arriage. She faithfully followed the moral values she learned from her family while believing th a t virginity, as capital fem enino, could be exchanged for m arital happiness. W ith tears in her eyes, Irene described el infiemo matrimonial (the m arital hell) she has lived through after learning about h er husband’s extram arital affair. Asking me if I could offer her consultation as a therapist, she spoke about the feelings of guilt she h as experienced as divorce now seems unavoidable. She was convinced her lack of experience and sexual incompetency drove her husband to look for a lover. While thinking about the sex education she would provide for her daughter, Irene was concerned about protecting h er daughter from a similar fate. By allowing her daughter to experience sex before marriage, she hopes her daughter will develop the skills necessary to become an appropriate “sexual performer,” therefore preventing m arital conflict and divorce. As Irene stated: 153 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I think th a t sometimes when you do not have sexual relations before you get married, the woman has the risk o f becoming a fracaso in her marital life. A nd, for nothing, I do not w ant for my daughter to go through w hat I have been through. For women like Irene, prem arital virginity is no longer a guarantee for a conflict-free m arital life. Instead, developing the necessary sexual skills before m arriage becomes crucial for protection from m arital discord. For women like Irene, a new form ula emerges—“Sexual Experience = Conflict-Free M arriage.” Accordingly, these women redefine the importance of prem arital virginity while educating their daughters. As w ith Irene, Beatriz C orrea preserved her virginity until the day she married. However, the panic attack she experienced on h er wedding night ten years ago, forced Beatriz and h e r husband to undergo psychotherapy during their honeymoon in Acapulco. T he first few months of m arriage became a difBcult period of sexual tension an d adjustm ent between th e couple. Now th a t Beatriz is educating h er daughter, she is confronted w ith a dilem m a—preserving p rem arital v irginity m ay help h e r daughter to be respected by h er potential husband, b u t lacking prem arital sexual experience may also provoke negative consequences. jMe daba tanta pena! (I felt so embarrassed!). I was so afraid to..., you know, when you go to bed for the first time w ith your husband. That first night I got extremely sick, I was so afraid, I felt so stupid. But then, regarding my daughter, I think I would like m y daughter to be a virgin when she gets married. I feel like you are much more respected by the man in your marriage. B u t then, you see, well, these days you do not know about men anymore! Sim ilarly, N orm a O rtega exam ined how ab stain in g from sexual experiences and preserving virginity m ight create discord in a woman’s m arital life. Norma was not a virgin w hen she m arried, as she had experienced sexual relations one tim e out of peer pressure and curiosity. B ut th is one prem arital 154 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexual encounter was dissatisfying, and by th e tim e she m et h er husband, she still felt completely inexperienced. Recently, Norma’ s husband h as threatened to take a lover. Like Beatriz, Norm a finds herself in a dilemma over w hat to teach her daughter. The longer she keeps her virginity, the better. Because... well, I was raised with th a t idea to be a virgin when you walk dow n the aisle. B ut then, I wo uld not know w hat to tell you! Because i f you are a virgin, then you, as a woman, go with some type o f ignorance when you get married. I think that is what happens. A nd I think that is one o f the reasons why people get divorced, because they get married while being ignorant. Testimonies offered by m others like Irene, Beatriz, and N orm a illustrate a dangerous and oppressive double bind encountered by M exican women. A woman m ay learn th a t virginity, as capital femenino, can be exchanged for a conflict-free m arital life. B u t th e woman’s husband m ay expect h er to be transform ed from a “pure an d naive” virgin into la amante perfecta or the perfect lover. In the case of Irene, her husband’ s rationale to tak e a lover was justified by Irene’s lack of sexual competency. Therefore, m others like Irene learn th a t prem arital sexual exposure, instead of virginity, is a new form of capital femenino th a t can protect their daughters from conflict and discord in a future marriage. For m others like Beatriz and Norma, the worth of virginity as capital femenino is defined by th e potential th reats and dangers heterosexual women encounter in th e ir sexual relations w ith men. In th e end, it is a m other’s job to decipher these double binds of sexual morality for h er daughter. These processes are transform ed by additional dynamics found in th e cross- cultural context of the U nited States. 155 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. E . Virginity. Cross-Cultural Differences, and the Gander M azp gender traps beyond borders For a m other, an im portant sexuality transition em erges out of her awareness of cultural differences in the U nited States—” A los hombres de aqui no les importa si son virgenes o no (Men over here do not care if they are virgins or not).” Amparo Barcenas and Patricia Quezada offered clear examples of this awareness. Even though th eir preference was for their daughters to preserve virginity until m arriage, both m others expressed some flexibility because of cultural differences. For Amparo Barcenas, after living in the United States for more th a n tw enty years, giving up her beliefs regarding virginity was still a personal struggle. However, seeing the cultural differences and the potential w ay m en living in the U nited States perceived virginity helped her to examine her own beliefs while raising her daughters. Those are the ideas that I have and they are so well-rooted and there is no way that I can get rid o f them. But, yes, I would like for my daughters to preserve their virginity until the day they get married... but, it is different here, th a fs also something I have noticed here, th a t men do not care i f a woman has had sexual relations. Looking back upon her life, Amparo realized th at the sexual difficulties she experienced w ith h er husband have m ade her develop prejudices against Mexican men. And these prejudices intensified while listening to the many frustrating sexual stories recounted by her Mexican friends. To Amparo, it was comforting to know th a t being in the U nited States would provide her daughters with alternative possibilities to be involved w ith men from different ethnic groups and to therefore experience a more satisfying sexual life. I have always thought that Mexican men do not care about love making. They don’t make sure the woman gets satisfied. I have a very bad image o f Mexican men, an d I shouldn’t, because I have never been w ith a man from a different race. B ut yes, I have always told my daughter Marisa not to marry a Mexican man. 156 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. F or P atricia Quezada, educating her three daughters in th e U nited S tates also offered her some alternatives regarding sex education. Living in a m ulticultural social context, h e r daughters were exposed to more th a n one sexual ideology w ith regard to virginity. H er daughters were exposed both to sexist m en who would reproach them if they were not virgins at m arriage and to m en raised in the United S tates who might he more likely to display m ore tolerant attitudes. When I asked P atricia if she would like her daughters to have prem arital sexual relations, she replied: I would say no... but then it depends because we are in this country... and it seems like it is no longer im portant if the woman is a senorita or not. I t depends. I f they m arry a man who is very machista, he w ill always throw it in their face. B ut i f they marry a man who was raised here and everything, I think that he will have a very different way o f thinking about it. Similarly, Diam antina E strad a and Yadira Velez perceive differences am ong m en w ith regard to th e ir opinions about v irg in ity and sexuality. D iam antina believes in prom oting a pro-virginity education w hen h er two d au g h ters reach adolescence. F o r her, exposure to th e risk of sexual oppression depends on the “type” of m an her daughters choose for a husband. How wouid your daughters' lives be different if they preserve their virginity until the day they get married? No, it would be the same... but, it depends on w hat type o f men they end up with, because there are good and bad men. So, who are the bad men? Pues... los machistas (Well... the sexist men) D iam antina’s awareness w as based on her personal experience and h er own perception of gender relations. H er consciousness about sexism w as based on a “bad m en / good m en” dichotomy. She addressed a need for h er daughters to preserve their virginity in case they ended up w ith the oppressive 157 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. type of man. Sim ilarly, Y adira Velez was raising her adolescent daughter to preserve her virginity until marriage. B ut unlike Diam antina, she emphasized th a t the differences am ong men were based on ethnic or cultural backgrounds. Yes..., I am teaching her to preserve her virginity until marriage but it is difficult for many young girls to comply w ith that these days. Los latinos are the ones who value virginity in a woman. A nd m any o f them perhaps do not value it, but m any o f them have it w ithin them because their parents teach them about it, so that way they teach it to the men and also to the women. As we can see, these m others seem to u n m ask sources of sexual oppression and to offer altern ativ es for sexual em ancipation for th eir daughters. At th e sam e time, they reflect a need for a w om an to comply with m en’s expectations—a need for preserving virginity is conditioned by what m en th in k about it eith er over here in the U nited States or over there in Mexico. A woman’s sexual destiny depends either on th e “type of m an” she will end up w ith (“good” versus “bad”), or on the m an’ s sexual m orality which is influenced b y his ethnic/cultural background. Thus, Mexican m others who are exposed to culturally different sexual moralities m ay experience transform ations in their perceptions of a woman’s sexuality while educating their daughters. However, regardless of the cultural context, a woman’ s sexuality is still norm ally defined by men. In short, m en still define th e rules about women’s sexuality and women still adapt or accommodate to the ideas of the standard, which is either restrictive or m ore flexible. Therefore, virginity and its w orth, as capital femenino, either over here or over there, is determ ined by m en’ s standards about women’ s sexuality. In sum, an analysis of the m other-daughter relationship offers a screen from which to examine, from a fem inist sociological perspective, the dynamics an d processes involved in the sex education of M exican wom en regarding virginity. On one hand, we have a m other’s efforts to transform h er daughter 158 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. into a sexual subject while exploring possibilities for h e r sexual emancipation, autonomy, and agency. O n th e other hand, we have a m other’s awareness of the sexual dangers she w as exposed to as a woman an d accordingly tries to protect h e r daughter(s) from th e same risks. Inevitably, a m other is also exposed to various expressions of double binds and gender traps where women have no choice but to become sexual objects whose sexuality is defined by m en—who are the only official sexual subjects in th e social gam e of heterosexual relations in patriarchal societies like Mexico. As discussed, im portant commonalities and pattern s are present within the regional differences between both groups of m others. Next, I will examine the gender dynamics linked to these regional contrasts. n . Virginity, m otherhood, and g e o g ra p h ic a l differences the social reproduction of regional machismos In general, mothers promoting sexual autonomy in their daughters were more likely to come from Mexico City. This group included both those who preserved th eir virginity u n til m arriage and those who did not. Most of the women who preserved their virginity until marriage identified themselves with this belief. These mothers have the following characteristics: They expressed an interest in protecting th eir children from m any risks (i.e., pregnancy out of wedlock, sexually transm itted diseases, promiscuity) while promoting practices of sexual autonomy, They created and promoted a sexual m orality w ith regard to v irg in ity based on a contemporary and well-informed perception of sexuality; and, T h ey d is r e g a r d e d th e im p o rta n c e o f re lig io u s se x u a l m orality, traditional values of fam ily morality, and machismo. 159 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. In contrast, th e m ajority of m others promoting a preservation of prem arital virginity w ere from Jalisco. They also disregarded both religious sexual m orality and traditional ethics of family morality linking a woman’s sexuality to family honor and respect. However, based on th e ir personal experiences as women, th ey still expressed a strong conviction th a t virginity will protect their daughters from th e dangers of machismo. Those who were virgins themselves a t m arriage felt protected by this belief in th e ir m arital relationships. Those who had involuntarily lost their virginity before m arriage (i.e. rape), reflected on the emotional cost a woman has to pay in h er m arital relationship because of h er lack of virtue. Most of them h ad actively participated in sexuality transitions across generations by educating their daughters in two ways: They displayed a caring, understanding, and non-punishing attitude in case of a daughter’ s pregnancy out of wedlock; T h ey c h a lle n g e d old p a tte r n s th a t force w om en into socially constructed molds of family and/or social adjustm ent (i..e., forcing a pregnant daughter to m arry, tolerating an unhappy m arital relationship). M others who w ere survivors of sexual violence were more likely to promote prem arital virginity than those who were not. Often, their exposure to various forms of sexual oppression (e.g., loss of virginity due to rape) caused future recrim inations from their husbands because of their alleged lack of virtue. Preventing the loss of virginity in a daughter became a safeguard from the potential sexual dangers th at they had experienced. A consistent pattern emerges as we look at both groups. M others from Jalisco were more concerned than th eir counterparts from Mexico City about protecting their daughters from machismo. In addition, they were more likely to express a need for challenging old ethics of respeto a la familia by developing 160 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. an understanding, caring and sensitive relationship w ith th eir daughters. Interestingly, m others from Mexico City did not address these two central issues. Instead, they were m ore concerned about educational issues Hire contraceptive use and sexually transm itted diseases. These dynamics suggest th a t women are more likely to be exposed to more intensified expressions of sexually oppressive practices in ru ra l or provincial places th a n in large and m odernized social contexts. T his p attern is consistent w ith the paradigm discussed in m y previous chapter—Mexican women living in rural areas are subjected to m ore severe and accentuated gender inequalities th an women living in urban social contexts (Barrios and Pons, 1994), and women who live in larger social spaces have th e po ten tial to be exposed to less rigid sexual regulations (Szasz and Figueroa, 1997; Amuchastegui, 1998). Thus, machismo, as an oppressive expression of masculinity, is socially constructed. M exican women are exposed to various degrees and types of socially constructed patriarchies across diverse geographical regions. And each one of these patriarchies prom otes multiple forms and various levels of gender oppression. I identify these gender patterns as machismos regionales or regional patriarchies.4 Each one of these expressions of m asculinity possesses particular social features depending on regional and geographical contexts. Thus, the more intense forms of machismo and gender inequalities which affect women raised in small provincial locations or pueblos could be identified as machismo rural. In contrast, th e disguised or de-em phasized machismo, compared to ru ra l areas, th a t affects women living in geographically and socially larger locations is identified as machismo urbano. For instance, the m ultiple possibilities reproduced by larger u rb an social contexts (e.g., education, paid-work, well-informed sex education or training) m ay offer women from Mexico City the possibility of being exposed to social circumstances th at 161 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m ay enable them to challenge sexual oppression. In this way, women educated in th is type of social space m ay have th e resources to contest sexist ideologies and practices while reclaim ing th eir sex lives. In sum, m ultiple forms of machismo (m asculinities) coexist in social and cultural opposition to the m ultiple forms of fem ale heterosexualities (femininities) discussed in the previous chapter. Across a socially constructed danger-pleasure continuum, women reproduce via m otherhood various fem ale heterosexualities as they educate their daughters. The social construction of m ultiple expressions of m asculinity and fem ininity has been exam ined by gender studies theorists. In his book Masculinities (1995), R.W. Connell argues th a t gender is constructed in social interaction and hence m asculinity and fem ininity are constructed by social practice. Thus, th e m ultiple expressions of m asculinity (i.e., machismos regionales) are not th e sam e across historical, social, and cu ltu ral contexts. They are fluid and reproduced through social practice in particular social and geographical situations. Accordingly, rigid expressions of b o th machismo urbano an d m achism o rural are u ltim a te expressions of hegem onic masculinity. They m ay also represent m en who lack privilege of hegemonic m asculinity (e.g., poor campesinos or working-class men who barely survive in urban areas, and who are exposed to class and/or racial oppression). Hegemonic m asculinity is the m asculinity th a t occupies th e hegemonic or leading position in a p attern of gender relations in a specific social context. In th is way, hegemonic m asculinity is socially constructed in relation to various subordinate m asculinities (e.g., gay masculinity) as well as in relation to w o m e n . 5 As stated by Connell (1995): 162 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Hegemonic masculinity can be defined as the configuration of gender practice which embodies th e currently accepted answer to th e problem of the legitimacy of patriarchy, which guarantees (or is taken to guarantee) the dominant position of men and the subordination of women. (P. 77) Both types of machismos regionales are fluid social processes and may be contested or emphasized, weakened or strengthened, depending on social contexts and circum stances. For instance, as m others educated in small locations become aw are of gender inequalities, they may challenge m any forms of rural machismo while educating theirs sons. In contrast, as m others living in larger cities are exposed to rigid forms of urban machismo, th ey m ay still promote many gender inequalities. Regardless of the geographical region, the social reproduction of machismo is closely associated to la doble moral or double standards of morality. H L Mothers. Sons, and Sexuality double moral ify standards and gender inequality La doble moral, or double m orality standards, are social prescriptions th a t shape the m oral judgm ent of women and men educated in patriarchal cultures like Mexico and m any Latin American countries. Based on la doble moral, the sexual behavior of men and women is socially judged and evaluated on contrasting and opposing morality paradigms which in m ost cases promote gender inequalities and therefore are oppressive to women. 6 The stories shared by the 29 women in this study who are educating sons reveal im portant insights with regard to the reproduction of machismo and its connections to double morality standards.7 The expression respeto a la m ujer (respect for a wom an) was consistently used by m any of these m others while talking about the sex education they w ant to provide for their sons. Paradoxically, these mothers’ attem pts to promote respeto a la mujer do not prevent them from reproducing 163 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m any forms of gender inequalities, double morality, and sexism while providing a sex education for these young men. Some of these women described th e experiences th ey have w itnessed w ith regard to th eir young sons’ sex lives while explaining their interpretations of respeto a la mujer. Amparo Barcenas, from Jalisco, shared with me some of the stories about h er seventeen year old son M arcos and his intense sex life. Amparo has realized th a t h er son consistently has sexual relations w ith every girl he dates. She is also aw are th a t if the girl does not have sex with him, he immediately term inates his relationship withher. Inher attem pt to educate her son withregard to sex,she expla in s: Well... I have told him, in fact he has gotten m ad a t me, that women are not for th a t and that he has to respect them. “ You have to respect young girls, m'hijo (my son). I f w ith time she accepts, that is o.k. B u t i f she does not w ant to, don’t tell me that ju s t because she does not want to have sex w ith you, you are going to leave her?” M any young girls call him a t home, many. Amparo has also w itnessed h er son having sex w ith his girlfriends a t her home. She has never talked to him about it because she feels em barrassed; instead she has talked to her husband while pleading w ith him to discuss this issue w ith their son. At Amparo’ s despair, her husband has also displayed a helpless attitude: I have talked with my husband about it so that he is the one to talk with them about it and then he says “ And, w hat am I going to tell them? What do I tell them?” A t the same time, Amparo explains her son’s and his present girlfriend’s sexual behavior in two ways. F irst, Amparo makes a statem ent th at m orally devalues this young girl. M y daughters went to see and I felt so bad when they told me that Marcos and M aruca were in the bedroom. A n d they said that she had her pants down and he also had his down. To me it seemed... I thought the worst o f that girl. 164 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A nd second, sh e judges th e girlfriend’ s m other for educating h e r daughter in a morally inappropriate m anner. A nd the mother o f her, o f this young girl... I do not know. They are from over there, a place in Mexico, and even though the mother knew th a t she was my son’s girlfriend—an d it seemed like she loved him a lot—and when we went to Tijuana she gave her perm ission to go w ith us. A n d I say, I w ould have not allowed my daughter to go. A n d I think her m other does not know that she is having sexual relations with Marcos. We both go to the same English school, and she is right there. O ther m others follow a sim ilar double standard p a tte rn while learning about th eir adolescent sons’ sexual behavior. Irasem a Quiroga, from Mexico City, described h er reaction after learning th a t her nineteen year old son was sexually active w ith h is girlfriend. U nlike Amparo, Irasem a confronted both her son Porfirio and his girlfriend for being sexually active in h er home. I have argued w ith him because o f it, in fact, I have talked with this young g irl and I told her that I did not like it. Both are seated and she is hugging him and she is also caressing him, and... don’tyou think that my son is going to get excited? Irasem a is clearly protective of h er son. She worries about his girlfriend “getting her son excited” thus m aking her responsible for his sexual reaction. While sharing with m e some of h er conversations with her son’ s girlfriend about this issue, Irasem a spoke about some of th e advice she had offered to her. As in th e previous instance, Irasem a’s words reflect a tendency to m ake the woman m orally responsible for a m an’s sexual behavior—a woman has to respect herself first in order for h er to be respected by a m an. She said, “iAy senora! So then you are saying that l a m o f the worst kind?” A n d I told her, “ No, m’ hija (my daughter), l a m not saying anything, only that you have to respect yourself in order for my son to respect you. I f he feels fine a n d you are touching him all over and doing things, it is logical, he is a man! A nd he is going to react. He is alive!” 165 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Irasem a also exhibited two of th e same reactions displayed by Amparo. F irst, she sen t a message to th e girlfriend w ith regard to her inappropriate sexual behavior which was in terp reted by the girlfriend as being m orally devalued. The other day I got home a n d they were watching television inside, and she was seated on the bed, almost laying down with him. Then I told her that a t least I did not accept it because I was raised perhaps old fashioned. And I told her my beliefs and she said again, “jAy senora! so then you are saying that I am a whore I” And second, while describing an episode, Irasem a perceived the girlfriend’ s parents as morally irresponsible or inadequate. I remember that was the day when I reprimanded both her and my son. It was 2:00 or 3:00 A .M when I was looking for him. I called her house and I woke them up because I wanted to know i f my son was over there and I told her,“ You are a woman and your parents do not even take care o f you as much as I take care o f my son.” D uring our interview, Irasem a shared with me h er persistent concern about her son Porftrio having hijos regados pordondequiera (childrensprinkled all over). She has confronted her son while expressing her fear in this regard. Like I have told him, “ You believe that you are fooling me? jNo m’hijo! I f I fool m yself that is different,” I told him. “ B ut you do not fool me.” The only thing is that I do not w ant him to have hijos regados por dondequiera or to have children with women he does not love ju s t because they find pleasure or because they like it or because o f a mistake or because they did not take their precautions. Stories like those shared by Amparo and Irasem a reflect a m other’s concern about a son’s sexual behavior while she unwillingly promotes la doble moral, sexist ideologies, and hegem onic m asculinities. These m others ultim ately state: 1) a woman (i.e., a son’s girlfriend) is responsible for a m an’ s sexual behavior or reaction; 2) a woman is m orally responsible and 166 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. autom atically devalued for inappropriate sexual behaviors; and, 3) a woman’s parents are morally responsible for their daughter’ s ‘deficit’ with regard to sexual m orality. In spite of any w ell-intentioned efforts to teach m orally responsible sexual behavior to adolescent men, this type of pattern ultim ately risks removing any type of personal responsibility from these young men and therefore reproduces machismo and social practices of la doble moral. The stories told by Amparo and Irasem a also reflect how la doble moral, as an expression of gender inequalities in Mexico, has prevailed throughout h i s t o r y .8 In addition, the stories told by these m others reflect the m alleable n atu re of machismos regionales. Amparo, from a sm all town in Jalisco, prom otes gender inequalities by recreating traditional forms of machismo rural, b u t she sim ultaneously expresses a genuine concern th at her son learn to respect women. Irasem a, bom and raised in Mexico City, illustrates how some form s of machismo urbano may be still reproduced by adopting rigid social forms th at emphasize gender inequality. L a doble moral is an open secret in M exican society— nobody talks about it or objects to it, b u t everybody knows about it and takes it for granted. Accordingly, women are cognizant of double m orality standards and their social prescriptions. In spite of their belief in an equal sex education for their children regardless of their gender, m others recognize th e dangers for women, vis-a-vis men, as th e most im portant reason for a gendered sex education.9 Tom asita Uribe, from Jalisco, illustrates this dynamic: Girls are one thing and boys are something else. Well, I think that everybody is the same, everybody has the same privileges and develops the same way in their professional careers. B ut when it comes to the personal aspect, they have to be different. I f s like I do not have to tell my son, “ Tu tienes que llegar senorito al matrimonio (You have to preserve your virginity until marriage)” because who is going to complain to him about it? B ut with women, yes !! So, there’ s no way I would give them the same sex education. (Tomasita Uribe) 167 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Sim ilarly, C andelaria, a rap e an d incest survivor, struggled while elaborating on a woman’s need to be m ore cautious, reserved, an d protective of her body. W hen I asked her if she would give the same sex education to her three sons as she would give to h er only daughter, she expressed, I think th a t she should be more reserved than my sons, to have more respect for herself. I would like for her to be more reserved, more careful w ith herself, to see sex like respect for herself In other words, not to let anyone abuse her, that she knows how to take care o f herself. In sum, daughters and sons are exposed to la double moral. However, because of the social privileges granted to m en by a patriarchal society, they do not encounter th e sam e social an d m oral risks women do. M others understand this social process well and provide a gendered sex education based on this dynamic. The social and personal damage resu ltin g from double m orality standards have been exam ined by feminist M exican scholars. For instance, scholar and activist M a rta Lam as (1998) has identified double stan d ard s of m orality, along w ith th e lack of sex education and the criminalization of abortion, as the three m ost sexist social practices oppressing Mexican women in contemporary society. As illustrated, some of the women in the study involuntarily reproduce machismo and double standards of morality. However, some m others disrupt th e propagation of sexist practices across generational lines through the sex education they provide for th e ir sons. A . Challenging Machismo mothers creating social change “ /Ay mujerI Some fathers teach th eir little boys to be machistas from the very beginning,” exclaimed Tom asita U ribe in a high pitched voice. Then she added, “Ju st because he is a m an, m any fathers tell their boys to screw all the women. No!, I am against th a t m entality!” Tomasita U ribe and m any of the other mothers who are educating sons expressed a keen social awareness 168 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of machismo and its multiple social expressions. They questioned some of th e sexual practices th a t reproduce sexism, and in doing so, facilitate social change w hile educating their m ale children. For m ost of these women, teaching respect for women by prom oting monogamy is th e central issue in preventing potential sexist behaviors in th e ir sons. Sexism is challenged by teaching respeto a la mujer, which is expressed by m aintaining an exclusive sexual and emotional relationship w ith one woman. As some of these m others expressed, I am teaching my sons to protect themselves as m uch as they can and not to m aintain a relationship w ith m any women at the same time. Why do they want to have many women i f one is more than enough?! T h a t is w hat I say, well, th a t is w hat I would like for them. I f they have one, and i f they w ant to have a life w ith a woman, well... marry her! T h a fs all they need. (Victoria Yanez) I have told my son th a t he and my daughter are equal and that he should respect his girlfriend. A nd i f I know th a t he has another girlfriend, I tell him that it is not right. The other day he was going to go out w ith another girl and I told him that he has to respect his girlfriend, that he owes some respect to her. I defend my son's girlfriend. The truth is th a t she is a good woman. He should tell his girlfriend w h a t he is doing, that is the way it should be. (O ralia Pacheco) M y son Victoriano has told me th a t he wants to have many women. He says, “ W hen I get married I w ant to have many women.” And I have told him that when he gets married he can marry only one woman. (Candelaria de la Rosa) In addition, some m others questioned social practices th a t promote th e sexual objectification of women who, throughout history, have been socially oppressed and marginalized in Mexican society: lasprostitutas (the prostitutes) and las siruientas (the maids). 10 Gabriela H urtado, from Mexico City, gives a clear example: I believe that both son and daughter have the same rights. I am against looking for prostitutas for my son. I am against it! We have to educate our children the same way regardless o f their sex. 169 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Mothers’ interested in teaching respect for women to their sons facilitate this process by using two strategies. First, a m other may use an old principle based on the family context: “You do not do to a woman what you don’ t w ant to be done to your sister.” Yadira Velez and Soledad Torres illustrated this p a ttern as they explained the messages both have communicated to their adolescent sons: I have told my son, “ You respect. I f you w ant to be respected, you have to be respectful. Before anything, you are a man but you have to be respectful because you have a sister and you would not like for your sister to be abused. So, if you abuse a girl... her brother would not like it, and i f you do something, you have to be responsible for whatever could happen later on.” (Yadira Velez) Like I told him... I would disagree i f my son, ju s t because he is a man, wants to be with everybody. I tell him, “ No, that is not right.” A t least that is the way I see it. Because what I do not want to be done to my daughter, I do not want him to do to anybody else. (Soledad Torres) And second, a m other may create a punishm ent-based approach while using a punitive image of the U.S. justice system as the basis for social and moral control in their new country, n As two of these mothers explained: Well, I have told him this way, “ My love, you should never touch girls. You should never touch them because it is their body and that is seriously penalized, especially here in the United States. A nd if you do it, you know where you are going to end up?... In jail!” (Tomasita Uribe) Sometimes when we go to places in our car and they see very attractive girls passing by and one o f my sons says, “ I am going to stick out my hand so I can grab these women's butt.” I tell him, “ I f you w ant to go to prison, yes, grab it!” And he says, “ Are they going to take me to prison i f I do it?...” —Yes, here you have to respect. (Candelaria de la Rosa) Beyond themes of monogamy, promiscuity, and promoting respect for women, other mothers reflected on the need to protect their sons from the risks 170 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of undesired pregnancy and from sexually transm itted diseases, especially AIDS. However, as m others discussed th e ways in which th ey would like to educate their children regarding sex, they were much more concerned about the dangers faced by daughters then those faced by sons. 12 For them , providing a sex education for a daughter was a rem inder of la doble moral and the m any dangers they encountered earlier in life (i.e., machismo, coercive m arriage, pregnancy out of wedlock, etc.) It w as also an opportunity for the mothers to create a transition across generational lines and to work through their personal issues as women. Finally, while educating a son in term s of sexuality, a Mexican m other exposes the ways in which she actively an d involuntarily participates in th e social reproduction of m ultiple m asculinities, the m any oppressive expressions of sexism, and the possibilities for sexual emancipation for a new generation of Mexican American women. C onclusion In th is chapter, I have exam ined th e sexuality transform ations experienced by Mexican women across generations as they socially construct the m eaning of virginity w ith in th e context of th e m other-daughter relationship. For the overwhelming m ajority of these mothers, a Catholic cult of virginity and sexually oppressive ethics of respeto a la fam ilia were not an influence on a young woman to preserve her prem arital virginity. Instead, m others redefine, transform , or reproduce th e im portance of preserving virginity for th eir daughters based on a prim ary concern to safeguard a new generation of young women under th eir protection. In addition, a m other’s interest whether to promote prem arital virginity in her d aughters) is based on the mother’s own personal experience as a heterosexual woman. A m other would decide to promote virginity based on four central gender dynamics. First, mothers are concerned about enhancing their daughters’ life opportunities (i.e., 171 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m arital happiness) w hile protecting them from m any risks an d dangers associated w ith a woman’s sexuality (e.g., pregnancy, promiscuity, sexually tran sm itte d diseases, etc.). Second, m others decide w hether to advocate p rem a rital virginity for th e ir daughters based on th e specific form s of patriarchy, or machismos regionales, they experienced throughout different regions in Mexico. Third, as women educate th eir daughters w ith regard to virginity, they actively reflect on and challenge the dynamics of gender and sexual oppression they w ere exposed to within th e context of the fam ily and m arital life. As women educate their daughters w ith regard to virginity, they resolve across generational lines some of their unfinished issues as women. T hat is, th ey advocate m ore open communication as they strive to protect their daughters from the sexual and gender-related oppression they themselves experienced. Lastly, as Mexican mothers are exposed to cultural diversity in the U nited States, they m ay experience transform ations in their perceptions of a woman’s sexuality while educating a daughter. However, regardless of the cultural context, a woman’s sexuality is usually strongly influenced and defined by m en’s perceptions of women’ s sexuality. Finally, as M exican women educate th e ir sons, they actively and involuntarily participate in the reproduction of machismo. La doble moral, or double m orality standard, created and promoted in patriarchal societies, is both reproduced and contested as Mexican im m ig r a n t women provide sex education for their sons. A t its worst, Mexican women involuntary reproduce sexism, hegemonic forms of masculinity, and m any forms of gender oppression against women. At best, they challenge sexism and facilitate gender equality transform ations between two generations of women beyond borders. Beyond the m other-child relationship, sex education, and the m ultiple social constructions of virginity, Mexican imm igrant women actively transform 172 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. their perceptions of sexuality and their actual sexual practices and ideologies, as well as the quality of th eir sex lives. B ut motherhood is not th e only vehicle for sexual transform ation. As Mexican women gain paid em ployment outside th eir homes and become financially independent, their sex lives experience multiple transfigurations. My next chapter is the first of two parts designed to examine th e im pact im m igration and life in the United S tates have on these women’s sexuality. N O TES 1. 35 out of the 40 w om en in this study ore mothering children; oil of them are educating their children in the United States. Of the 35 mothers, only three mothers identified religious reasons a s the rationale to prom ote premarital virginity in their daughters. Interestingly, two of them promote this value in their daughters based on Protestant ethics they both d eveloped after religious conversion in the United States. The third mother was the only o n e to say that she will promote premarital virginity of her daughters based on her Catholic religious values. 2. Amuchastegui explains how in her study, those individuals utilizing the expression "...en ese pueblo se acostumbra... (in that town, it's a custom to...)," were the ones who did not ad ap t them selves to the ways in which their sexualities w ere controlled by the group. See Ana Am uchdstegui (1994) La prlmera vez: El slgnlficado de la virginidad y la inlciacion sexual para jdvenes mexicanos, Research Report, Mexico City: The Population Council. 3. As discussed in my previous chapter, Annelou Ypeij (1998) has identified the family role of la m ediadora, or the mediator, for Mexican mothers living in a community in M ichoacan. That is, the mother has the family function to m ediate as a protector of the daughter in the father-daughter relationship. In this study, as the maternal figure in charge of her children's sex education, the mother also m ediates potential risks to the daughter, including the behavior of the father and of other m ale figures such as a boyfriend or a husband. 4. It is important to address the reproduction of regional contrasts and differences beyond borders especially b eca u se research on “regional variations' within Mexico and their corresponding im pact on M exican/Chicanos' sexual morality in the United States has not been exam ined in the literature (Zavella, 1997). 5. For Connell, masculinity as an object of know ledge is not an isolated social construct. Instead, masculinity is always “masculinity-in-relation” to femininity. As he states, “Masculinity an d femininity are inherently relational c o n c e p ts which have m eaning in relation only to e a c h other, as a social dem arcation and a cultural opposition. This holds regardless of the changing content of the dem arcation in different societies and periods of history. Masculinity, as an object of knowledge is always masculinity-in-relation" (p. 44). See R.W. Connell (1995) Masculinities, Berkeley: University of California Press. 6. The origin of sexual double standards in Mexico g o es back to the colonial years where the patriarchal nature of both M esoam erican (Indigenous) and Hispanic (European) cultures colluded to oppress the social lives of Mexican w om en in numerous ways (Tostado Gutierrez, 1991). Historically, the co n cep t of double standard is also linked to the creation of the “good -bad w om an' (/a buena-la mala) bipolar paradigm of morality discussed in my previous chapter. This morality paradigm was established during the colonial years when wom en living in Mexican territory received differential social treatment based on specific sociopolitical factors: religion, conquest, slavery, 173 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. race/ethnicity, and class (C astaneda. 1993). This paradigm placed wom en in social opposition to on e another a s m any social ca tegories of wom en living in Mexico em erged a t that m om ent in history: las espanofas (Spaniard women), las criollas (women of Spanish ancestry born in Mexico), las mestizos (wom en of both Spanish and indigenous blood), las indlas (Native Mexican), and las negras (women of African descent) (Tostado Gutierrez, 1991). C astaneda (1993) explains how Native Mexican or Indigenous w om en b eca m e politically and morally d evalued. As she states, 'She b eco m es th e other, the bad w om an, the em bodim ent of a corrupted, inferior, unusable sex: immoral, without virtue, loose. She is com m on property, sexually available to any man that co m es along" (p. 27). On the historical roots of la doble moral, see also Ann Twinam (1989) Honor, Sexuality, and Illegitimacy in Colonial Spanish America, in Asuncidn Lavrin (ed .) Sexuality & M arriage in Colonial Latin Am erica, Nebraska: University of Nebraska Press, pp. 118-155. 7. In this study, 16 women from Jalisco and 13 from Mexico City were educating sons; 50% of these young men are adolescent or young adults mostly ed u ca ted by their mothers in the United States. 8. Marcela Tostado Gutierrez (1991) exam ines how the law prom oted double morality standards in colonial Mexican society: *Una mujer 'honesta' que se vlstiera com o una prostituta perdfa el derecho a procesar a un hombre que la ofendiera, porque se suponia que estaba invifandolo al agravio (A ‘decen t' wom an who dressed up like a prostitute lost her right to legally prosecute a man who offended her because she was inviting him to com m it the offense/insult)." Later on, Tostado Gutierrez elaborates: "En contraste con esto, el comportamlento sexual de los hombres no tenia consecuencias legates, a menos que hubiera sido procesado por delitos de tipo sexual com o violacldn o adulterlo (In contrast, the sexual behavior of m en had no legal con seq u en ces, unless he had been processed for sex crimes such as rape or adultery)" (p. 201). See John D'Emilio and Estelle B . Freedman (1997) Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, for historical examinations on the promotion of double standards of morality in the U.S. Southwest (Mexican territory until the beginning of X IX century). D'Emilio and Freedman state, "Catholics, like Protestants, em phasized the im portance of fem ale purity, and they m aintained a double standard that allowed m en to indulge in pre- or extramarital sexual relations" (pp. 88-89). Finally, in her case study of a heterosexual Chicana, Zavella (1997) highlights an exam ple of double standards of morality: “Although Mirella had permission to date, her mother applied different standards of behavior to her and her brother, who was free to com e and g o as he pleased" (p. 395). 9. Most mothers said they feel equally comfortable while talking with their children, girls and boys, about sex. However, som e mothers from both locations said that, as sons g e t older, it is more difficult for them to discuss sexuality issues with their sons (a mother d oes not know men's issues/concerns well enough). Even though the majority of mothers said they believe in an equal sex education for their children regardless of their gender, mothers from Jalisco are more likely to prom ote a gen d ered sex education for their children than mothers from Mexico City. The most important reasons for Jalisco mothers to follow this pattern included their n eed to protect their daughters from sexism (i.e., potential recriminations, sexual violence), and a fear from pregnancy out of wedlock. Thus, la doble m oral m ay b e more em phasized in social contexts where gender inequalities are more intensified (i.e., pueblos). 10. In many Latin American countries, it is usual for young men to experience their sexual initiation with women who are socially oppressed and morally devalued in various ways: las prostitutas a nd las slrvientas. Matthew C. Gutmann (1996) talks about prostitutes as the sexual initiators for many young m en raised in middle and upper socioeconom ic strata in Mexico. (P. 133) Mary Romero (1992) identifies two dangerous sexual stereotypes encountered by maids: “ ‘as sexual initiator for the young males in the family,' and ‘as object of the fantasies of the more mature males' * (p. 90). See Mary Romero (1992) Maid in the U.S.A., New York: Routledge. These dynamics are 174 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. linked to la doble moral an d the previously discussed bipolar paradigm (/a buena/la mala) a s Mexican society p laces different socially constructed categories of wom en in opposition to e a ch other: la buena (the g o o d wom an) versus la m a la (the bad woman). For example, la novia (the girlfriend) of a young man represents the “g o o d w om an' he may marry in th e future. As the potential mother of his children, she deserves to b e respected, and having sex with her might represent a moral conflict. In contrast, la prostltuta represents the “bad woman." em bodying low instincts and no moral values, and therefore, she is a sa fe outlet for a man to h ave his first sexual experience. La sirvienta, th e socially d ev a lu ed fem ale figure in ch a rg e of a housewife's most denigrated responsibilities (i.e.. cleaning, cooking, washing and ironing clothes), is not worthy of any moral or social respect, a n d therefore, she Is extremely vulnerable to being sexually objectified, used, and victimized by the man she serves. The interlocking system s of oppression (gender, race, class) described by Patricia H ill Collins in her book Black Feminist Thought (1991) explain why for a Mexican maid the danger of being sexually objectified is almost unavoidable: her gender (fem ale), her com m on ethnicity (Indigenous background), and her d isadvan taged socioeconom ic class (poor or extremely poor). 11. As discussed in the previous section, Tomasita and Candelaria are from small pueblos in Jalisco. Their mothering style is a reflection of the rigid moralities (e.g., punishment and discipline approaches) they were exposed to in their social contexts. 12. Regardless of their gender, mothers consistently addressed a n eed to promote sexual literacy in their children by making sure they learn basic healthy sex education lessons: to take care of themselves, to protect them from dangers an d risks such as STDs or an unexpected pregnancy, to respect their bodies, to teach w hat is g o o d and what is bad with regard to sex, to watch for the p eop le they associate with especially with regards to drugs, sex and violence, to explain everything about sex and how to avoid promiscuity, and to postpone sexuality until com pleting their education . As a group, most mothers addressed these issues while expressing an interest in taking the initiative so that their children do not learn it from strangers on “ the streets." 175 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 4 Negotiating Pleasure: Employment, Money, and Power “When I arrived here, I was working, I was completely in charge of the household expenses, rent, everything. I supported m y m other so I think I had the right to enjoy some type of freedom. So I felt w ith m ore sexual freedom too, you know, and no more I had to ask m y mother for h e r permission to go out w ith a m an,” stated E rendira F uentes, a 32 year-old single woman who has lived in Los Angeles since she m igrated from her native G uadalajara eleven years ago. Azalea, a 43-year-old w om an who m igrated from Mexico City twelve years ago, reflected w ith an expressive tone of voice, “T hat ended a long tim e ago! So I do not have to cry if he does not give m e money, or if he does not give me enough to buy groceries. Like I said, I do n o t even have to have sex with him. I do not depend on him, I work. It [sex] is n ot an obligation anymore.” For Mexican im m igrant women like Erendira an d Azalea, working a full tim e job outside the home, earning a salary, and attaining financial autonomy or responsibility became an in stru m en tal com ponent w ithin a process of sexual em ancipation in the U nited S tates. In this firs t chapter designed to examine the im pact of im m igration an d life in th e U nited States on th e sex lives of the women in this study, I analyze their sexuality transitions from a studying up on sex perspective. B ased on this fem inist approach, I analyze how and w hy fem ale h ete ro sex u a lity tran sfo rm atio n s are lin k ed to socioeconomic forces th a t eith er prom ote or co n test th e oppression of 176 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. heterosexual women’ s sexual agency. Before and after migration, the sex lives of M exicanas are linked to and transform ed by dynam ics interlocking th e regimens of employment, work, time, and money in four ways: Mexican women9 s sex lives are transformed as they gain full-time employment, receive an income, and become financially independent in the United States. I introduce the Gender Stratification Theory (Theory of Relative Resources) to exam ine how and why w orking outside the home, earning a salary, and enjoying control over h er income, m ay provide a Mexican im m igrant woman w ith m any sources of personal power. P ersonal empowerment m ay transform h er sex life and perceptions of sexuality w ithin the contexts of m arital and family relationships. Mexican women9 s experiences o f sexual objectification within the socioeconomic context reveal social mechanisms o f gender inequality and oppression. I introduce a feminist perspective to examine th e power of m oney and th e objectification of th e sexual intercourse as p a rt of th e sex fives of im m ig ra n t women w ithin the context of both m arital and family fife. Mexican women9 s sex lives are influenced by the world of work in a capitalistic society. I introduce the concept of the faylorization o f sex to explain how survival needs and an intrusive work schedule invade th e bedrooms of M exican imm igrant women by redefining the quality of their sex fives. The taylorization of sex m ay provide a Mexican im m igrant woman w ith “sexual gains” (an improved sex fife) or m ay represent some “sexual costs” (a deteriorated sex life) as p art of fife in the U nited States. As they gain employment and become exposed to mainstream society, Mexican women create contrasting images about the sexuality of women representing dominant culture. T his process happens n o t in social isolation, it unfolds as they unpack their sexuality luggage in th e context of work. M exicanas also do sexuality and experience sexuality transformations via networking at their workplaces as they are exposed to other L atinas w ith whom they converse about sexuality related issues. 177 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. L Employment and Sex Life in the United States income and power redefining the politics of sex “ iHijole! (Gee whiz!), you are crazy, you ju s t came over here an d you becam e th a t way!” A zalea Zapata paraphrased h er partner’s words of both concern and surprise while explaining th a t he was completely aw are of the changes she had experienced in their m arital relationship after she came from Mexico City and started to earn a satisfying income as an apartm ent m anager in Los Angeles. The feelings experienced by th is m an take us back to early exam inations by Robert O. Blood, Jr. and D onald M. Wolfe in th e ir book H usbands & Wives: The Dynamics o f Married Living published in 1960. “W hat does it do to the husband-wife relationship for both partners to be employed?” (p. 3) Blood & Wolfe offered as the central question of their study as th ey paved th e road for the prolific work generated since the early 1970s on the redefinition of power and gender relations in m arital life w hen housewives work outside the home and earn an income. As Blood and Wolf state: The sources o f power in so intimate a relationship as marriage m ust be sought in the comparative resources which the husband and wife bring to the marriage, rather than in brute force. A resource may be defined as anything that one partner may make available to the other, helping the latter satisfy his needs or attain his goals. The balance o f power will be on the side o f that partner who contributes the greater resources to the marriage. (P. 12)1 Along the alm ost 40 years since the Blood & Wolfe publication, m any theories and em pirical research have em erged to explain the dynam ics connecting m arital power relations, income, work, and resources. In th eir 1983 publication American Couples, Philip Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz, explore th e dynamics betw een money, work, and sex w ith more than 6,000 N orth A m erican couples. They conclude th a t in heterosexual m arriages w here women work and bring money into the household, women have the possibility 178 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. to win more power, influence, an d control over their personal lives. Schwartz & Blum stein explain the reasons behind this interesting dynamics which include the following: 1) m en show m ore respect for paid work outside the home th an housework (men’ s sense of self-respect comes to some extent from the world of work); 2) women explore and develop a sense of self-worth th a t emerges from her decision-making ability required as p art of h er job responsibilities and interactions w ith co-workers; 3) women who are employed outside the home m ay discover unknow n personal abilities and qualities; 4) women m ay not w ant to give up the self-confidence emerging from th eir interactions a t work; and, 5) m en show more respect for th eir wives as resu lt of th eir success at work, among others. The studies conducted by Blood & Wolfe and B lum stein & Schwartz do not include the experience of M exican im m igrant women. Blood & Wolf study was conducted w ith 909 W hite and African American women from the Mid- W est and barely talked about sex in their pioneering book (only 3 statem ents on sex and m arital life are m entioned in the book). Blum stein & Schwartz, in contrast, talk substantively about heterosexual couples, money, work and sex. However, their heterosexual couples were overwhelmingly W hite (only 1% of them in th e ir sam ple w ere identified as Chicano/M exican American). F o rtu n ately , th e dynam ics lin k in g “incom e-earning—w o rk —personal control/power/autonomy” have been analyzed and expanded in-depth by other researchers in order to incorporate th e experience of L atin American women and Mexicanas in particular. F or instance, Rae Lesser Blum berg (1991) after conducting research w ith w om en in m any T hird W orld countries, has established h er Gender Stratification Theory (theory of relative resources) in which she states: 179 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. The greater the women’ s relative economic power, the greater their control over their own live: a) The greater the woman’s relative economic power, the greater the likelihood that her fertility pattern will reflect her own perceived utilities and preferences (rather than those o f her mate, family, state and so forth). b) The greater her relative power, the greater her control over a variety o f other “ life options,” including marriage, divorce, sexuality, overall household authority, an d various types o f household decisions (pp. 100-101). Blumberg utilizes h er theory to show how m any changes in a wom an’ s life unfold as economic power redefines gender relations between m en and women a t the micro-level (m arital relationship). She cites the work by M artha Roldan (1982, 1988) w ith a group of women from Mexico City to illustrate th e following: 1) as M exican women m ake a higher contribution to the household income, they have an increased control over decisions involving fertility; and, 2) as M exican women ea rn an income, they develop a sense of control over th e ir own lives which enhances, in turn, th eir sense of self-esteem. The changes experienced by these Mexican women w ith regard to their sex and reproductive lives have been not em erged in a social or a historical vacuum. They are th e re su lt of historical evolution in Mexican society. As discussed in m y first chapter, industrialization, urbanization, employment of women, the growth of contraceptive use, and th e AIDS epidemic, among others, have interacted a t contrasting moments in Mexican history while promoting continuous social and cultural changes determ ining social norm s on women’s sexuality. M igration, settlem ent, and the powerful presence of Mexican communities in the U nited States are becoming p a rt of this process of social and historical evolution. And as M exican women m igrate to the U nited States and experience socioeconomic transform ations, th eir sex lives are also vulnerable to be transfigured. 1 8 0 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Thus, th e analytical frameworks previously discussed provide us with im p o rta n t th eo retical elem ents in order to exam ine th e sex u ality transform ations experienced by some of the Mexican im m igr a n t women in the study.2 These women developed a sense of personal control and self-sufficiency as they improved their socioeconomic status prim arily due to th e financial independence attained after working and earing money in the U nited States. Im portant transitions in their sex lives and in their perceptions of sexuality unfolded as p art of this process while a power rebalancing in their relationships took place. U nfortunately, th ese theoretical fram ew orks have some limitations. Even though they are informative for the analysis of a redefinition in power relations in the context of couple relationships, th ey need to be expanded in order to incorporate m any im portant social factors in flu en cin g the sexuality of Mexican women beyond th e m arital scenario. For these immigrant women, employment, income-earning, control over income, and a redefinition in power balance is linked to the social constructions of female sexuality. Besides the m arital context, two additional social processes controlling a Mexican woman’s sexuality are linked to these power dynamics redefinitions. These sexuality redefinitions take place w ithin two analytical categories: Ethics of family respect controlling a daughter’s sex life m ay be contested by a single im m igrant woman as she develops financial independence and responsibilities w ithin the fam ily economy as p art of h e r im m igrant experience in th e U nited States. Earning an income and being exposed to the world of work m ay empower and help an im m igrant mother in multiple ways including a transform ation in h er perception of sexuality and accordingly to redefine the sex education she wants to provide for her children in the United States. In this employment section, I will analyze the stories of three women to illustrate how working a full-time job outside the home, earning a salary, and 181 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. attain in g financial autonom y or responsibility become an in stru m e n ta l component w ithin a dynam ic process of sexual em ancipation in th e U nited S tates. These sexuality transitions take place a t three distinct levels or dimensions: A Mexican immigrant woman as a sexual partner; A Mexican im m ig r a n t woman as a daughter in her relationship w ith her mother; and, A Mexican im m igrant woman as a m other in her relationship w ith her children. Azalea Zapata’s story is the perfect illustration of the first dimension. A zalea Zapata divorced a t th e age of 25 after living in a high conflict relationship w ith a husband of nine years. After h er divorce and w hile still living in Mexico City, she established a perm anent cohabitation relationship w ith another m an she identified as m i esposo (m y husband). Since th e beginning of their relationship, he has played the role of the family provider for both her and their son. Eventually, all of them m igrated from Mexico City to th e United States in 1985. D uring the interview, she recalled w ith g reat pride and enthusiasm some of th e positive transform ations in the quality of her sexual encounters w ith him as well as the sexuality transitions she has experienced after becoming financially autonomous in Los Angeles. “Before yes,” she expressed, “W hen I had ju st arrived to this country he obligated me to have sexual relations w ith him, b u t now... not anymore!” “So, if he ever w ants to obligate you to do it, w hat do you tell him?,” I asked her. Then, she replied: I tell him “ No” because I support myself, and i f he supported me and he gave me all the things that I need, then perhaps one might have to do w hat they [men] tell you. B u t since here, we all women work, and support ourselves, and help our parents, so then, not anymore, that ended a long time ago!! 182 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A zalea offers a clear aw a ren ess of how a w om an’s financial independence challenges two central processes in a heterosexual woman’s sexual encounters: 1) a woman who is financially self-sufficient challenges her own sense of m oral obligation to have sex w ith a p a rtn e r as a w ay to correspond him for being a fam ily provider; 2) a w om an’s financial independence alters th e power balance dynam ics in w hich h e r sexual encounters take place. As I discuss in m y next chapter, A zalea’s collective gender consciousness of “all women working here, supporting them selves and helping their parents” is a consequence of Azalea being highly involved while attending many platicas or sex education presentations a t com m unity based agencies. Azalea’ s story interestingly coincides with Blum stein’s & Schwartz’ s analyses with regard to th e dynamics hidden behind the equalizing effect of the com bination m oney-power-work on th e pow er balance of th e ir m arital relationships. First, a t some instances during our interview, A zalea expressed to me in more th a n one w ay her sense of self-worth and self-confidence from her ability to m ake im portant decisions as an apartm ent m anager. And second, while working as an apartm ent m anager in a predom inantly Latino im m igrant neighborhood, she has learned to become a leader an d an authority figure who makes im portant decisions for th e welfare of her community. As a consequence, h er p a rtn e r has w itnessed th e respect and acceptance she inspires to her com m u n it y and maybe reacting accordingly in th e ir m arital relationship. D uring our interview, Azalea talked to m e about el salario miserable she used to earn back in Mexico City as a labor worker. H er relationship w ith her p artn er back then w as different. He m ade a modest b u t reasonable salary while being the m ain fam ily provider; she contributed to the fam ily economy while earning th e m inim um wage a t a factory. These dynam ics were 183 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. transform ed as she made an equal contribution to th e family economy while supporting herself in the U nited States. Earning a sig n ific an tly higher salary while w orking in a less socially-devalued job position (apartm ent m anager) in Los Angeles triggered a series of unfolding consequences which redefined the power dynam ics in her couple relationship, transform ed the n atu re of her intim ate encounters with her sexual partner, and enhanced the quality of her sex life. A t age 43 and while living in Los Angeles, Azalea now feels like she has finally learned to be in control of h e r sex life; her financial independence has been intim ately linked to th is process. An enhanced sexual agency is one of the most m eaningful changes she h ad experienced after living for 12 years in the United States. The financial independence earned by a M exican im m igrant woman redefines th e power relations in th e bedroom. As indicated earlier, these dynamics are not exclusive of th e m arital relationship. Autonomous income earning and control of money gives immigrant women more control beyond the bed sheets of th e m arital bedroom and include other spaces w ithin the domestic sphere. In th e second dimension, for a single woman who earns an income as she becomes in charge of household expenses in the U nited States, acquiring more financial autonom y and power m ay be translated into developing a stronger sense of control in many areas of h er personal life including her sexuality. This dynamic m ay help a single im m ig ran t, woman who lives w ith her mother in the new country to question and d isru p t ethics of family loyalty and respect th a t control an d confiscate her rights over her own sex life, her body, and her sexuality especially when she is aw are of her own oppression. “I t was fair for me to set m yself free!,” exclaimed Erendira Fuentes w ith tears in h e r eyes and a saddened tone of voice while explaining to me some of 184 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the problems she experienced in her relationship with her m other because of her disapproval of h er dating in both countries. Erendira’ s story exemplifies th e dynamics of sexual em ancipation experienced by a single woman who becomes aware of h er own oppression as she becomes completely responsible for th e household expenses while living w ith her mother in the U nited States. She was 21 years old w hen both m igrated together from G uadalajara. By earning an income and developing a to tal financial responsibility of their apartm ent expenses, she experienced a transform ation in her personal life. “I was w anting to have a boyfriend but I have never had one and th e fact th at th ere is also more..., I felt like more free in th is country,” she expressed. As we continued, I asked her: “W hat made you feel more free in this country?” Then she replied: I do not know, perhaps... it is also that I was already working, I... well, since I was in Mexico I had already worked for two years but when I arrived here, I was working, I was completely in charge o f the household expenses, rent, everything. I supported my mother so I think I had the right to enjoy some type o f freedom. So I felt with more sexual freedom too, you know, and no more I had to ask my mother for her permission to go out with a man,” Erendira explained how at some point she felt strong enough to challenge her mother’s belief system and the restrictive family ethics th at had prevented her from being in control of her personal life. In addition, she explained how being 21 years old helped her to reclaim owning personal freedom and to have her first date. However, she said, she would have never imagined the u n folding chain of excruciating consequences she would have to confront after dating for th e first tim e in Los Angeles w ithout h e r m other’s perm ission. As she explained: I asked for her permission to have a boyfriend here in Los Angeles, but she did not want me to. So I said, “ Well, now I ju s t inform you that I will date this young man.” 185 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. How did she react when you told her that? Well, she wanted for both o f us to go back to Mexico. She took all o f m y belongings and moved away from the house. A t some point she asked me to go and live with m y cousin. When we got to his house she h it me, but th a t was the last tim e she h it me, I defended myself, I d id not allow her to h it me anymore. Then she got some o f my paychecks that I had been saving, because I was keeping them and said th a t we would go back to Mexico. In fact... she told me a bad word, aha, she told me that I was a ... [tears] D uring m y interview, I asked E rendira about th e current status w ith regard to her relationship with her m other and if both w ere still living together. She said she rath e r talked about a different topic. L ater on, w ith a sparkle lost in her still teary and sad eyes, E ren d ira said th a t even though she has never had intercourse, she has gradually learned to give herself permission to reclaim her sexuality w ithin the last ten years. After challenging h er family’s m oral dictatorship, she learned to enjoy w hat she identified as libertades sexuales (sexual freedom) and caricias atrevidas (risky caressing) w ith the few m en she has been involved w ith since then. While looking back in retrospect at her personal ordeal, with adeep sigh, she said thatshe wisher! shehaH rifineitrarHprin her life. Erendira’s compelling story is by itself a sociological portrait of a painful power revolt across generations and beyond borders as women like E rendira reclaim control from their family authority figures over both their personal and sex lives. The chaotic but equalizing power balance produced between both m other and dau g h ter is more th a n evident: E re n d ira ’s personal control emerging from h er improved economic status and financial responsibilities produced an equal balance which autom atically challenged the mother’ s control over Erendira’ s personal life. Being financially independent and responsible for th e household economy was the fuel feeding E ren d ira’ s empowerment; h er mother was completely aware and resented its im pact on family politics. 186 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. P arallel dynam ics have been discussed in research conducted in the U n ited States an d in Mexico. Vicky Ruiz (1993) exam ines how second- generation Mexican Am erican women develop a feeling of independence and a desire of leaving th e fam ily home after attaining employment and earning a salary. Similarly, A nnelou Ypeij (1998) finds th a t as young adult women in Zam ora, Michoacan gain employment and earn an income a t las congeladoras or refrigeration w arehouse/plants, they enhance th eir negotiation possibilities w ith th e ir parents. These young women develop a sense of personal freedom and self-confidence w ithin th e daughter-m other relationship context which eventually redefines power differential in th is relationship. These daughters feel m ore empowered an d m ake personal decisions w ithout th e ir p aren ts’ consent, e.g., they m ake own decisions w ith regard to fashion and m a k e - u p ^ The last story illu strates the th ird dim ension as an immigra n t m other experiences both a transform ation in h er perception of sexuality and a feeling of em powerm ent to ta lk w ith her children about sex. In telling h e r story, Rosalia Silva exclaimed, “H ere you become despierta, you open up your eyes, jse siente mas valorI (you feel more courage!)” while explaining how after em bracing financial responsibility by w orking full-tim e to support h er six child ren has helped h e r to become em otionally stronger and to become despierta (alert, w ith h er eyes wide open) in h er perceptions about sexuality. Becoming despierta w as translated also into feeling less intim idated, shy, or w eak to talk to her children about sex. As she explained while describing w hat would have happened if she had to educate her children in Mexico: I say that I w ould have felt more intim idated, I would have not felt the courage to talk with them about it [sex]. Here you feel m6s valor (courageous) but you do not know why, i f it is because o f the change o f country or because you have to protect yourself from everything. Over there I felt, like more shy, like more weak, like I was not going to be able to talk w ith them about sex. B u t not here, it was very much different. 187 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. You were saying that here you feel with mas valor... where do you think that comes from? Well, from me striving to make it everyday, from struggling to make it, to make sure I can support them and make them progress, over all. Some of the women in the study explained to me how as mothers they m ay feel devalued as an authority figure w ithin the family context. These mothers said th a t they m ay lack th e power to provide a sex education to her own children (especially her sons). They lived in geographical locations or social scenarios w here gender inequalities and particular forms of patriarchy are emphasized (e.g. small towns). For example, when I asked Romelia Sanchez, from Jalisco, if she would offer th e same education for her son versus her two daughters, she replied: Well, it is the same education hut only one thing. The way I see it is a t least it is important for the father to be in charge o f the boy because he is masculine, he is a man, right? I think, I don’t know i f I am mistaken, but I think he would take his father more seriously. I think he would take more seriously w hat the father has to say because he is the father. Unlike Romelia, Rosalia was bom and raised in Mexico City where some forms of machismos regionales m ay be softened in more th an one way but she m ight have not been free her from being exposed to those social d y n am ics. Her words reflect a redefinition in this power differential as an im m igrant mother earning a salary, working in a full-tim e job, and becoming completely financially responsible for h er children. By taking advantage of th e malleability of Spanish, I will use Rosalia’ s words to argue th a t women like her m ay acquire mas valor in two ways: 1) they experience mas valor or more courage a t th e personal level as they feel more courageous and stronger to talk w ith her children about sex as they gain employment, financial autonomy, and complete responsibility for their children and their household; and, 2) they 188 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. experience mas valor or m ore value a t the micro-social level, th a t is, th ey acquire a “higher value” as an authority figure w ithin the family context: th e y are com petent enough to support th eir children and autom atically m ore respected as an authority figure (mother / woman) to ta lk to her children (son / man) about sex. Employment, income, control over income, and financial responsibility had a clear im pact on th e sex lives and/or perceptions of sexuality for im m igrant women like Azalea, Erendira, and Rosalia. Employment interacted w ith th e politics of power and sex in m any areas w ithin their family lives and the domestic sphere. B ut th ere is also a sexual reality for some of the women who do not earn any income in th e United States. Their intense sexual stories expose these women’s sexual risks linked to sexually oppressive ideologies and practices. How is the sex life of some of the women who do not have a full-time paid job outside their homes after m igrating to the U nited States? W hat are the interconnections betw een th e power of money and sex in the context of m arital and family life? n . The Commodification of the Sex Act in Marital and Family Life If he gives me everything, how come I do not give him anything? Dolores Ponce, Ana I. Solorzano, and Antonio Alonso in El nuevo arte de amar: usos y costumbres sexuales en Mexico, 1990 “I, to tell you the tru th , I sw ear to God th a t I have never been able to have an orgasm never, never, neither with him or w ith anybody else, never! M ’ hijita, te bendigo, hazlo sin ganas y satisface tus carencias. My little daughter, I give you m y blessing, do it w ithout desire and satisfy your m aterial needs. 189 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. jLo hago por compromiso, s6lo por compromise> / (I do it because of an obligation, only because of an obligation!)” exclaimed Victoria Yaiiez, 34, while describing w ith tears in her eyes her sexual encounters w ith her husband. For women like Victoria, th e sex act is p a rt of a moral compromiso. T h at is, the sex act possesses an exchange v alu e as it becomes p a rt o f an erotic negotiation within m arriage. As discussed in chapter # 2, virginity is socially constructed as a form of capital femenino or a transaction commodity possessing social exchange value. As illustrated, a wom an who preserves virginity as part of el capital femenino does not necessarily perceive this process as oppressive or painful. Now, as exposed by Victoria, prem arital virginity is not the only aspect in a M exican woman’ s sexuality th a t has an exchange value. W ithin the context of m arriage and family life, sexual intercourse is subjected to a process of commodification. In contrast to prem arital virginity, other forms of sexual commodification can become painful and extrem ely oppressive for a woman. The sexual stories told by Victoria Yanez and Candelaria de la Rosa exemplify these dynamics. V ictoria Ydnez, from a sm all tow n in Jalisco, was kidnapped and violently raped a t age 16. After th is excruciating episode, m an y painful consequences unfolded later in her m arital life such as not being orgasmic or experiencing a lack of sexual desire. These circumstances were exacerbated by, first, Victoria never receiving professional help to overcome th e rape experience. And second, by Victoria feeling embarrassed, asham ed, and guilty, and therefore n o t being able to ta lk w ith h er husband ab o u t th e rape experience or the feelings she experienced during their sexual encounters. The combined effect of all these difficult circum stances along w ith Victoria’s sense of compromiso (obligation) to have sex w ith h er husband as a w ay to correspond him for being a family provider, have made of her sexual encounters 190 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w ith him a continuously sexually and emotionally painful oppressive ordeal. W hile exploring Victoria’s feelings during h er sexual encounters w ith h er husband, she explained: I do it because o f an obligation, only because o f an obligationI To tell you the truth, it is very rare that I feel like being with him , and even though he is a very attractive man, he is very good looking, but I tell m y sister, “ I f you knew, i f you knew the agony I go through!” A n d a t times I feel so enraged that I even cry when I am with him. V ictoria’s story illustrates th e dangerous domino effect a wom an is exposed while being sexually oppressed in more th an one direction. H er sex life h as been an unbearable w arfare for 18 years due to the psychologically dam aging consequences of being sexually objectified and abused (pain, anger, sexual discomfort, etc.) while being raped in an extrem ely violent way. The m ultiple ramifications of these harm ful effects later in life unfold themselves in agony, rage, and feelings of helplessness in the context of highly expected sexual encounters in her m arriage. Such an unendurable woman’ s sexuality luggage interm ingles in complex ways w ith being a full-time housewife and, therefore, not being able to become financially independent while living in the U nited States. A more th a n evident lack of sexual ownership and a well- learned sense of m oral obligation or compromiso moral toward a financially responsible husband, have made of Victoria’s sexualized body the only valuable asset available to her in her m arital and financial negotiations w ith him . As she explained for me: So, you were saying th at being sexual with him is like a compromiso... Yes, yes, it is like a compromiso that I have because he wants to be all over me. He is very... he treats me very well, but when he is happy, right?, Well..., but then, sometimes he is teasing me at night and I ask myself, “Si § 1 me da todo, <f,c6m o yo no le doy nada?” (If he gives me everything, how come I do not give him anything?)” A nd that is when I do things w ith him. 191 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. As many women living in patriarchal societies, and Mexico in particular, Victoria has learned a definition of m arriage as a moral contract: W hether she enjoys sex or not, she has th e compromiso to satisfy h er p artn er’ s sexual needs, she has th e compromiso to procreate the future generations, and she has the compromiso to be a good housekeeper. Her husband, in turn, has the compromiso to be a good provider for his wife and their children. Victoria was bom and raised in a small town in Jalisco. However, h er testim ony coincides w ith the experiences of many women bom and raised in larger cities (Mexico City) where more permissive patriarchies m ay exist in some social spaces but somehow gender inequalities m ay not allow possibilities for change.4 Victoria’s testim ony validates th e central argum ent offered by radical fem inist theorists who expose the sexually oppressive and objectifying n atu re of these m arital arrangem ents. These patriarchal prescriptions place a wom an as a sex o b je c t subjugated by the sexual needs of the man, a sex Su b ject (De Beauvoir, [1949] 1989; Dworkin, 1987). The sam e principle h as been utilized by feminists analyzing prostitution as a form of objectification promoting sexual enslavement. From this perspective, both marriage and prostitution are based on th e same foundation: female sexual slavery (Barry, 1984). T hat is, both m arriage and prostitution as institutions promote ideologies of women as property of m en over whom th e y (men) have possession, control, and domination (Brownmiller, 1975; Dworkin, 1981; MacKinnon, 1993). These dynamics have been observed by Mexican academics for decades. Raul Bejar N avarro (1986) m akes reference to M arla Elvira B erm udez’s analyses conducted in 1955 in th a t regard. Bejar Navarro states: The Mexican woman from ru ral areas, says Elvira Bermudez, when she gets married, she is bought by the m an who then will hiake u se’ of her, try in g as m uch as possible to tak e advantage of her. (This is m y translation from original text in Spanish. See B6jar Navarro, 1986:69).s 192 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Similarly, Padilla Pim entel (1972) has identified this sexualized gender pattern by statin g th a t for M exican women, m arriage legalizes a form of domestic prostitution or prostifuddn domestica. In addition to these contem porary p attern s, M exican w om en like Victoria have also inherited centuries of institutionalized sexual obligations. M exican wom en have been exposed throughout h isto ry to th e religious m andates statin g th a t negar el debito al marido (to deny one’s obligation to one’s husband) and despreciar al marido (to reject one’s husband) a re m oral prohibitions. These religious m andates existed in tw enty one of the confession guides or confesionarios used by Catholic priests in colonial M exican society (Lavrin, 1989; Castaneda, 1989). In the same historical period, rapists had to pay la dote (a financial compensation paid to the victim) as a potential form of punishm ent for raping a wom an (Tostado Gutierrez, 1991; Castazieda 1989). These historical evidences have reinforced gender dynamics between a m an’s obligation to compensate for using a woman’ s body for sexual satisfaction and a woman right to receive the corresponding monetary compensation. For a M exican woman, engaging into the sex act or being sexually available, acquires an exchange value not only within the context of m arriage. In addition, th e commodification of the sex act takes place w ithin the fam ily life context. As I discussed in chapter # 2, a woman’s sexuality is linked in more than one way to an ethic of fam ily loyalty and respect. For C andelaria de la Rosa, a 36-year-old housewife from Jalisco, living in conditions of perm anent sexual oppression were connected w ith her family’s economic circum stances and a sense of family obligation. Sim ilarly to Victoria, Candelaria was raped as a teenager by a 50-year-old neighbor while living in Mexico. She was continuously harassed by him since an early age, he raped her in m ultiple occasions, an d eventually got h e r pregnant. Paradoxically, C andelaria 193 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. identified the m an who persistently abused h er sexually as un amigo de la fam ilia (a family friend). She explained to me how, on m ultiple occasions, this m an had helped her fath er w ith m oney and m any financial favors (i.e., money loans) to take care of h e r family’s financial needs. D uring a personal conversation with C andelaria after m y formal interview, she described for me la obligation she felt tow ard this m an. She explained th e m ost im portant reason for her to allow him touch h e r body: he had been helping h er father financially and having sex w ith him or letting him touch h er body w as a sense of responsibility she experienced tow ard the well-being and financial status of h er fam ily. C andelaria talk ed ab o u t th e sexual im potence problem he experienced a t tim es w hile violently try in g to force h e r to have sex. Eventually, he was successful and got h er pregnant after raping her. At the age of 25, she was able to resist this m an’s persistent sexual abuse and coming to the United States was h er safest w ay to escape. As she explained, So, back then you were... 17 or 18... and he never had... he h it him self against the w all because he w anted to have sex but he could not do it a n d I always told him to leave me alone, I told him, “jDejeme en paz porque yo quiero rehacer m i vida! (Leave me alone because I w ant to sta rt all over with m y life!)” He was one o f the reasons why I came to the United States, I got pregnant. Later during the interview, Candelaria explained how she finally decided to have an abortion before leaving for Los Angeles. Coming to th e U nited States has helped h er to abolish th e sexual tyranny she experienced and to embrace some type of personal freedom. She explained how th is m an’s sense of sexual ownership affected her possibilities of developing a relationship with other m en while still living in Mexico. Eventually, she dated and m arried a Mexican im m igrant m an she m et in Los Angeles. While exploring h e r feelings after living in the United States, she expressed: 194 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. After I had lived here for a period o f time, I felt completely liberated from everything, I felt free! because this m an beat up many o f my boyfriends that I loved, men who also fe lt love for me. A n d he used to tell them that I was his woman a n d that I was n o t going to belong to anybody else but h im and my boyfriends ran away..., they ran away. Candelaria’s ordeal of sexual oppression became h er personal secret. To this day, she has never told h er husband, father, m other, or any of her family members. Like Victoria, she has neither received any professional help. Escaping to th e United States was the safest way for Candelaria to deal w ith such a sexual dictatorship. Avoid in g a family tragedy or an aggressive reaction from the rapist toward her father, or any family member including herself, was a major concern for her. W hen I asked her the question, “W hat would have happened if your father had know n w hat was happening w ith regard to this man?” she replied: I am completely sure th a t my father would have gone to fight with him , I am alm ost sure. A nd he [the rapist] always had guns underneath his bed and inside his car, because he was always doing bad things. He was always stealing the women from other men. He was always doing that kind o f thing and that is why he would always bear a gun. C andelaria’s story is m ore th a n revealing. It unm asks the complex dynam ics involving an econom ically underprivileged M exican woman’s sexuality: th e interlocking dynamics of gender, sexuality, and class within a larger social context of a patriarchal society. Her gender made h er vulnerable to the multiple gender and sexual privileges a patriarchal society endorses to a man. His rights become magnified by the power of his financial privilege and th e vulnerability of her socioeconomic marginality. H er sexuality as a woman, as discussed in chapter # 2, became part of a sophisticated ethic of fam ily loyalty and respect. This complex sexuality dynamic and h e r disadvantaged socioeconomic class interm ingle to sexually oppress her in a complex way: her 195 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexual ownership was sacrificed on behalf of her family’s economic welfare and safety. Being sexually abused by an econonomically-privileged man, helped Candelaria to make sure h er family would have its m aterial/financial needs met. Being sexually abused by a potentially aggressive m an went beyond a sexual torture to become a life or death matter. In sum, being socioeconomically disadvantaged w ith in Mexican society exposes a woman not only to be disfranchised from h er sexuality but to be sexually oppressed, exploited, and abused in multiple ways. Candelaria’s story also calls for an incorporation of a woman’s se x u ality for a b e tter understanding of M exican women’s personal lives and th eir connection w ith their immigration experiences. Consistent w ith Arguelles’ and Rivero’ s (1993) findings, immigration to th e United States for women like Candelaria represent a strategy to cope w ith or escape from the combined effect of gender, class, sexual and heterosexist abuse, oppression, and exploitation. As discussed, Victoria’s and Candelaria’s stories are more th an convincing and echo the m any untold sexual stories of im m igrant women whose sex fives are closely associated with their disadvantaged economic statu s.6 The sexual stories told by Victoria and C andelaria unm ask m any m echanism s of power an d control connecting sexuality, gender, and class relations in the personal fives of women bom and educated in a patriarchal society. Their personal experiences also expose th e vulnerabilities and potential sexual dangers for women living under forms of socioeconomic and gender oppression w ithin both m arital and family contexts. The fact th at m any prostitutes have a childhood history of sexual abuse is well documented (Crooks and Baur, 1996). Many of these women have been deeply emotionally damaged while learning th at love, sex, and attention can be exchanged for money an d physical/sexual contact. W ithin the context of 196 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m arital and fam ily life in a patriarchal society, this dynamic m ay complicate and “normalize” th e sex act as an accepted activity utilized for the exchange of m aterial goods. Interestingly enough, women like Victoria and C andelaria— both rape survivors—have learned to exchange their sexualized bodies for m onetary goods w ith in both m arital a n d fam ily contexts. However, th eir stories also invite us to explore some avenues for change. The incidence of raptos (kidnapping of a woman) and violation (rape) in the areas w here women like Victoria and C andelaria were educated started to decrease in th e 1960s and to disappear by 1970. Why? Fiona W ilson (1990) explains how education and employment opportunities for women, and the gender consciousness developed by the m others of these victim s w ere crucial factors responsible for these socially progressive changes in these regions. Finally, these stories expose th e reproduction of sexually oppressive socioeconomic arrangem ents for M exicanas and other Latinas living in the United States. For women like Victoria, life in th e United States so far has not challenged the gendered sex politics tak in g place in her bedroom. A ttaining paid employment m ay offer a potential avenue for personal em powerm ent, gender renegotiations, and sexual agency. Citizenship statu s, language barriers, limited education and occupational skills has delayed this possibility not only for her. Through my clinical experience w ith Latina im m ig ra n ts, I have learned th a t m any women with sim ilar personal histories cry th e ir pain in silence while living th e ir heterosexual encounters as a m arital obligation—a p art of everyday survival as im m igrant women living in the United States. E ven th o u g h em ploym ent m a y offer m echanism s fo r sex u al emancipation, attaining a paid job in a capitalistic society m ay be linked to a woman’ s sex life in a n additional way: sex life is vulnerable to the pressures of time. At tim es sex improves, at times sex degenerates, it all depends how sex 197 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. life is organized by im m igrant wom en around the dem ands of a busy schedule and th eir survival in a contem porary society which craves for more and m ore time. m . Work. Time, an d Sex Life in the Unites States with the clock b y the bed: the Taylorization of sex “I th in k m y sexuality is fading in this country, because en este pais puro trabajo, puro trabajo! (in th is country, ju st work, ju s t work!)” complained D iam antina E stra d a w ith a n in te n se and protesting tone in h er voice. D iam antina E strad a is a m arried, full-tim e housewife who lives w ith h e r husband and th eir two daughters. While exploring some of th e changes she had experienced in h er sex life after living in the United States, she explained how her husband’s busy schedule h as had a negative im pact on th e quality of h er sex life. The deteriorating n atu re of Diam antina’s intim ate life is p art of h e r immigration experience. However, h er personal experience has some parallels w ith the personal lives of th e W hite middle-class wom en and m en Arlie R. Hochschild (1997) discusses in h e r book The Time Bind: W hen Work Becomes Home and Home Become Work. In h er book, Hochschild goes in depth into th e personal experiences of these hard-w orking and dedicated women and m en to examine how th e quality of th e ir personal and fam ily lives is damaged by a busy routine, th e demands of work, financial need, fear of losing their jobs, and a sophisticated culture of the workplace a t all levels of th e organizational world (adm inistrative assistants, supervisors, m anagers, an d top-executives, etc.) even when working for a company proudly promoting “fam ily friendly” policies. Hochschild offers her interesting profound insights w ith regard to the invasive n atu re of w ork into their dom estic and family worlds. Interestingly, she remains outside these women’ s an d m en’ s bedroom doors. The intrusive n ature of work into fam ily life a t all levels and through m any avenues was already 198 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. intense enough for Hochschild to perhaps explore more intim ate connections between a “time bind” and sex life. But for im m igrant women like Diamantina, a deterioration in her sex life was part of her im m igrant experience as a “time bind” was created betw een h er husband’s busy schedule and th e ir needs for survival as a couple in th e new country. The demands of tim e and w ork have had a negative im pact on th e quality and th e frequency of th e ir sexual encounters and clearly on D iam antina’s sexuality. D iam antina started to notice a deterioration in th e sex life she had w ith her husband after m igrating to and living in th e U nited States. “Puro trabajo, puro trabajo”—th e social rea lity of m ost im m igrants and a su b stan tia l sector of m ain stream society— she repeatedly stated more th an once while associating th is life ethic principle w ith her husband’ s lack of sexual desire and therefore a deterioration of the quality of her sex life in her marriage. As she stated: jPuro trabajo! jpuro trabajo! Yes, because since the man works day and night so then the man’ s sexuality fades away, aha. The thing is that he works day and night and then he comes, and then he comes so tired and ju s t gets here to sleep and that’ s it! He does not even pay attention to the girls or to me either. The inability for h er and her husband to earn sufficient income by working in a day job is translated into a need for her husband to w ork day and night. She complained about the lack of employment opportunities and her husband’s need to stay w ith the transportation company th a t hired him some tim e ago as a trailer driver. The following is a dialogue illu stratin g these dynamics: For how long is he thinking ab o u t working for th a t company? Well, he has stayed there but I already told him that i f he continues working there, I better go back to Mexico because I am here ju s t like a piece o f furniture. That is what I tell him. 199 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. So, are you thinking about going back? Yes, then, when I think about how the situation is back there, I hold m yself back. D iam antina’s awareness of her deteriorated m arital life clearly makes her feel devalued. Returning to Mexico is an option to deal w ith her personal circumstances. In tu rn , the economic hardship she anticipates while thinking about going back, m akes her tolerate the current sexual dissatisfaction. In the middle of this process, Diam antina’s fears w ith regard to h e r future sex life emerge. As we explored her feelings of frustration, she elaborated: This must b e very difficult, what do think about yourself now that your sex life has deteriorated? Well, I feel bad because then you g et older and then you cannot do anything, and then I believe the menopause w ill come. A nd then, w hat i f I do not want to do it and then he wants to? Then, what is going to happen? He is going to look for someone else. A nd I, since I am a woman, I am reserved. Well, I would not dare to do something like that. From a fem in ist perspective, D iam an tin a’s explanations of h er anticipated fears have im portant im plications. T hey reflect a central mechanism of sexual power: 1) a woman’s sexual potency deteriorates with age and therefore she becomes devalued; 2) a woman is v ery likely of being abandoned if she does not satisfy her p artner’s sexual needs; and, 3) unlike a m arried man, a sexually dissatisfied m arried woman is inherently constrained to look for another sexual partner. At some point, she explained to me while blushing and w ith a mocking tone of voice, how out of h er frustration she had thought about having a lover. A clear understanding of th e previously explained dynamics have not allowed h e r to pursue h e r occasional sexual fantasies. 200 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. F or women like D iam antina, sexuality and h er sex life was defined b y a her husband’s busy schedule out of any personal control due to the lim itations and realities of her life as a n im m igrant. In addition, she explained the reasons for h er overwhelming routine as p a rt of her im m igration experience. Some of them included her full-time obligations as a housewife, th e m any doctor’s visits she m ade on foot to various free clinics in order to tak e care of h er tw o daughters’ health, her com m itm ents a t her P rotestant church, and h er daily struggle to find a paid job while figuring out how to m ake a living as a m arried woman and a mother. U nlike Hochschild’ s women an d men, D iam antina’s deterioration of her personal life was linked to a basic need for survival in th e new country. The realities of some of Hochschild’s women and m en w en t beyond covering their basic needs. The invasion of w ork into th eir personal lives was connected at tim es to m any sophisticated social processes including an “em otional culture of th e workplace” (i.e., work offering a support system for an employee’s personal problems, work offering a safe space to escape from fam ily problem s, etc.). H ow ever, like H ochschild’s W hite m iddle class employees and professionals, D iam antina’s intim ate life was redefined an d redesigned around the world of w ork and the dem anding schedule established and ruled by an industrial and capitalistic society. D iam antina’ s expression, “ E n este pais puro trabajo, puro trabajo” m ay have only one linguistic equivalent in English. However, in sociological language, it m ay have m ore th a n one meaning. “Time, Work-Discipline and Industrial Capitalism” is also an accurate translation for h er expression. This line is also the chapter title’s I am quoting from E.P. Thompson’s book Customs in Common (1991) w here he analyzes tim e m anagem ent as a cru cial tran sitio n a l component betw een p rein d u strial an d in d u stria l societies. Thompson examines how industrial societies implemented tim e regulation and 201 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m easurem ent as th e ideal w ay to control and m anage labor and work. He explains how the task-orientation system utilized in preindustrial societies (i.e., th e fam ily economy of a sm all farm er last century) as a w ay to manage and control labor was replaced by a system of tim e-m easurem ent resulting from th e multiple mechanisms emerging in industrial societies (i.e., employment of labor, division of labor, discipline between employer and employee, production needs, etc.). The concept of time, its efficient management, an d its place in the history of capitalism and industrial development is also central in Hochschild’s Tim e Bind. In her study, she cites Frederick Taylor (the engineering genius who studied and established th e principles of tim e m anagem ent and efficiency a t factories almost one hundred years ago) to argue th a t “fam ily life gets Taylorized” as p art of th e invasion of work into family life T h at is, family life has to be designed and lived based on principles of time efficiency learned by h e r inform ants a t th e ir workplace; th e “cult of tim e” m anagem ent and efficiency they worship at work is transferred and taken into fam ily life. In the exam inations of her case studies, Hochschild addresses how some of these dedicated employees learn to cover all their family needs on tim e and in a very efficiently manner. This experience is not an easy process and requires a great deal of investment in em otional energy and needless to say it requires more “tim e.” In my study, D iam antina paid a “sexual cost.” That is, h er sex life was clearly deteriorated by th e demands of survival and the pressure of tim e and w ork in an industrial society. O ther women, in contrast, experienced a “Taylorization” in th e ir sex lives which, interestingly enough, was not translated into a erosion in the quality of their sex lives. “Yes, it is nicer!, it is terrific to do it once a week or once every other week!,” exclaimed Rosalia Silva. Then she ad d ed ,“Because, well..., to me it is nicer th a n having sex everyday because everyday..., everyday... sex gets kind 202 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of boring,” as she explained how being m arried, being responsible for six children, and working full-tim e has made her redefine h er sex life in a “tim ely efficient m anner” by establishing a sexual agreement w ith her husband of less th an a year, Rosalia talked w ith great excitement how working fiill-time has created the need for both to establish a schedule for th eir sexual encounters. Interestingly, w aiting for th e appropriate day to have sex has created an atmosphere of sexual excitem ent in her marital life or a “sexual gain” as p a rt of her life in th e United States. She explains w ith great pride how coordinating work w ithin a busy schedule has had a positive im pact on her sex life. As she explained these dynamics for me: Well yes, because sometimes when I do it one time every 8 days, or one time every 15 days, we are happy because it is like doing it everyday. Because when we make it once a week or once every two weeks, I give m yself more. Ifs like... you do not give yourself the same way you do it everyday. So, your work schedule has something to do with the fact that you have sex with him only once a week... Yes, because he starts working at 5:00 A.M. and he has to get up a t 4:00 A.M. and I start working at 7:00 A.M. and have to get up a t 6:00 A.M. A nd he gets home at 5:00 P. M. and I do a t 6:00. Or sometimes he gets home a t 4:00 P.M. and I do a t 5:00 P.M., and we do not have a schedule. Im m igrant wom en like D iam antina and R osalia m ay not have inform ation on the changing rhythm s in the history of industrial life and capitalism. However, im portant transitions in their sex lives become the best pendulum m easuring contrasting differences w ith regard to time m anagem ent and economy between life in a developing nation like Mexico and survival as an im m igrant in a contrasting society mecca of capitalism , modernity, and industrialization. 203 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. As p a rt of m y own personal experience in th e U nited S tates, I have observed th a t N orth Americans use th e expression “T hank you for your tune” to express their gratitude after someone has spent “tim e” helping them with a particular issue. In m y 26 years of life in Mexico, I never heard anybody using its equivalent in Spanish, “ Gracias por su tiempo .” In general, in Mexico, people would use the expression “ Gracias por ayudarme ” or T hank you for helping me. U ntil I came to th e U nited States I found it fascinating to observe th a t people would be expressing gratitude to someone for th eir “tim e” instead of “help.” Socially speaking, in capitalistic societies “tim e” seems to have a higher value an d it is accordingly appreciated an d expressed by people in th e ir social interactions. Diam antina’s and Rosalia’s stories have also im portant implications in connection with m y previous section on employment, personal empowerment, and sex. For example, women like D iam antina m ay not have m uch power in th e negotiations w ith h e r husband: she is a full-tim e housew ife who is financially dependent on her husband’s income. W ith regard to th eir m arital relationship and h e r sex life, she m ay be in a devalued and disempowered position and therefore lack control over negotiations involving h e r sex life. Therefore, she is m ore likely to experience a negative sexuality transition. In contrast, Rosalia—a full-time employee in a paid position outside h er home and sh arin g equal household expenses w ith h e r h u sb a n d —m ay have th e opportunity to experience a positive transition in her sex life. By possessing a full-time paid job outside the home, she m ay experience an improved leverage in h er sexual negotiations with her husband which emerged from h er full-time paid status and enjoys the possibility to be in a m ore em powered position w ithin her m arital relationship. She m ay have a higher control on h er sex life as p a rt of h er m a rita l relationship negotiations an d therefore is in an 204 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. empowered position to redefine h e r sex life, in her particular case, on principles of tim e efficiency and m anagem ent. T he stories to ld by A zucena, E ren d ira, V ictoria, R osalia, and D iam antina illustrate how employment, income, and control over income m ay be linked—in more th a n one w ay and a t m any levels—to m any dynam ics of sexual em ancipation and oppression in the new country as a capitalistic society. M echanisms connecting employment, money, sex, and empowerment offer p o ten tial avenues of sexual em ancipation for M exican women. In addition, th e world of w ork introduced Mexican im m ig ra n t women to a new world: la sexualidad de las Americanos. IV. Employment as a Window to Mainstream Society Mexican women doing sexuality a t work For an y im m igrant who becomes p art of N orth Am erican society’s labor force, employment may represent an illuminating window through which s[he] has m ultiple opportunities to glance a t U.S. m ainstream society. M any of the women in th is study did not escape from this dynamic. M ainly from Mexico City, about 60% of th e study participants had some type of paid employment. Interestingly, through th eir m ore th a n 5-years of perm anent residency in this country, no n e of th ese w om en reported th a t exposure to a so-called “m ainstream culture” through th e world of work would have impacted th eir sex lives directly or indirectly. However, employment offered these women a space w here th ey in fact did sexuality by socially creating two dynamics: a) th ey create a personal opinion an its corresponding image w ith regard to w hat they identify as la sexualidad de las Americanos or the sexuality of N orth American women; and, 2) as active social agents, they critically examine these socially created images and opinions by selectively incorporating w hat is convenient or 2 0 5 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. appropriate according to th e ir own sexuality luggage or by rejecting through ethnic/cultural resilience dynamics. The vast m ajority of them had created, an image of las Americanos as sexually liberal. However, th ey created m ultiple interpretations about this perception. As I analyzed, th eir reactions, two extreme points on a continuum appeared: on one hand, some women were inclined to admire N orth American women for being in control of their sex lives. O n the other hand, some of them followed a process of ethnic/cultural resilience by identifying them as libertinas (women lacking moral restraint), promiscuous, highly active, and embracing a devalued sexual m orality. Between both extrem es, additional m ultiple expressions arose. T hese processes did not happen in a social vacuum. Women created these images as they unpacked their sexuality luggage. Their places of origin, education level, regional m achism os, an d th e type of employment m ediated th e creation of these images. For example, women who were from Mexico City, who had higher levels of education, and better paid jobs w ere more likely to reflect about the gender inequality they w itnessed in Mexico. W ithout dow ngrading Mexican women, they were less likely to reproduce devalued im ages of N orth American women’s sexuality. W hen I asked, “Do you think th a t Mexican women are different th an American women w ith regard to sexuality or the way in which they behave sexually? And why?” three of them articulated their gender consciousness: Sexually speaking we are all the same. We, women are the ones who p u t restrictions w ith regard to our sex lives because o f society. Beliefs and education with regard to sex is different here and over there, but we are all the same. (Azucena Bermudez) Here women have the opportunity to develop at the same level men do. You can make more money than some men or you can study even more than some men. So the woman might be more in control o f her personal life over here. (Emilia Falcon) 206 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Completely, 100%. Both societies are different, I think it is the same society w hat has done that. I fs like in Mexico, i f you are pregnant out o f wedlock, you are criticized. It is very dangerous for the womanI, oh my God! Yes, it is very different! (Zenaida Aleman) Their sexuality luggage unfolded as they explained th e ways in which they have selectively incorporated only aspects of these social contrasts. They celebrated th e ways in which th ey have conscientiously integrated new and old values. As they stated: Here women and men have the same rights. So I have changed here, but only certain things like I want to study more and I w ant to prepare m yself more. Sexually, personally, I have not changed, and I think ifs because o f my own beliefs. Oh! Also, the way I am educating m y children, I think I am changing in that way. (Azucena Bermudez) Sexually I have changed but not completely, only in some ways. I think that is because o f my values that I brought with me, you know, the way I was raised by my mother. (Emilia Falcon) In the society in which I live, I have taken what I think is better and I got rid o ff what I do not tike. So, I p u t them all o f them together, w hat I brought w ith myself, my own principles, my own beliefs, and I made a m ix o f everything to get m y own conclusions. (Zenaida Aleman) As I will discuss in next chapter, women like Azucena and Em ilia experienced changes in their perceptions of sexuality due to professional train in g and social netw orking ta k in g place w ithin th e ir im m igrant c o m m u n i t i e s . As a community educator, Azucena was actively involved in her inner-city Latino immigrant, barrio. She attended sex education workshops as p art of her professional development; she attributed her sexuality transitions to her training (e.g., becoming well-informed w ith regard to sexuality and educating her children accordingly). Em ilia explained how during h er conversations w ith C entral A m erican amigas she had redefined her opinion about women’s sexuality and some of h er actual sexual behaviors. 207 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. W omen who identified N o rth American women w ith devalued im ages reported th a t th eir employment and workplaces h a d provided them w ith a “window” or a social space to w itness their private lives and according to develop a perception of la sexualidad de las Americanos. M ost of these women have created these images w hile working in low-paying jobs, e.g., domestic work. Through a process of ethnic/cultural resilience, th ey created an im age of M exican women as more recatadas (possessing m oral restraint) and decentes th a n N orth A m erican women. Some of them alread y h ad a w ell-defined perspective on “N orth American women’s sexuality” even before m igrating to the U nited States. Women like Candelaria de la Rosa reflected on how w hile working for a Mexican resort in h e r native Jalisco, she witnessed some of th e N orth Am erican women tourists having casual sexual w ith her companeros de trabajo while staying a t a hotel by th e beach. As she expressed: I used to work at a hotel in Mexico and las Americanas used to mess around with all the workers. My male coworkers used to have sex w ith them, and a t times and on the sam e day, two or three o f these men had sex with the same wom an! A nd they were American or Canadian women. Similarly, some women shared w ith me their personal experiences while offering their personal services as domestic workers for W hite families living in th e Los Angeles area. Women like D eyanira E stevez and Y adira Velez explained to me how they have created a m orally devalued image of N orth A m erican women as they have been exposed to th e ir sexual behaviors and m oralities. D eyanira talked about how invisible h e r presence became as a domestic w orker as she cleaned w hile w itnessing group sex at one of these homes. Y adira explained her surprise while learning about the liberal sex education offered by her White employer to her children. As they stated: 208 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, yes, while cleaning their homes I became aware o f the type o f parties they would have. Like in one home, I was cleaning up and there were m any couples and everybody was having sex with everybody, ifs like I do not know i f they were exchanging sexual partners or what. A nd I am not surprised but perhaps in Mexico you do not see it that often. (Deyanira Estevez) Here Americans..., the people I know, where I work, well, I work for them a nd the lives o f their children are completely free, they even take them to get contraceptive pills. So, their life is completely liberal, there is no conscientious principles. (Yadira Velez) Women like D eyanira and Yadira have created a m orally devalued image of N orth A m erican women hased on a personal and direct contact in their employment relationships w ith them. O ther women have come to embrace sim ilarly degraded, images of North American women based on the information exchanged in conversations w ith some of th e ir im m igrant friends work in g as domestic workers for W hite families. Women like Lolita Iglesias talked to me about their conversations on this topic with some of their close friends. As she explained to me: I have not seen it but I have many friends who clean houses and they have told me that los Americanos like using marijuana and drugs, and that they like having orgies and that they exchange their sexual partners. Finally, m ultiple reactions emerged between both dimensions (respect versus resilience). Some women said they did not perceive any significant cultural or social differences between las Mexicanas and las Americanos with regard to their sex lives. Some described Mexican women as morally devalued (e.g. being sexually promiscuous) when compared with N orth American women (e.g. being more respectful toward their bodies). And some stated th a t they did not know North American women well enough to offer an opinion. As I discussed in m y previous chapter, women educated in various regions of Mexico m ay be exposed to different and co n trastin g sexual 209 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. moralities, sexual practices, an d various degrees of gender inequalities. The m any possible interactions am ong these contrasting patterns generates multiple female heterosexualities, multiple regional patriarchies, and m ultiple sexual moralities and practices. These multiple sexual ideologies and practices create m ultiple varieties of sexuality luggage th a t Mexicanas m ay bring with themselves when they m igrate to the United States. As employment w ithin N orth A m erican society’s labor force offers th em a window to dom inant culture, th ey unpack their varied sexuality luggage while creating a m yriad of images about the sexuality of women representing m ainstream society. Thus, between both extremes (respecting versus devaluing dom inant cu ltu re’s women), Mexicanas have endless possibilities in which they can create images of both themselves and N orth American women. Beyond biased or prejudiced images of both groups of women, these dynamics call for a need to redefine Mexican and North American societies as complex social contexts in which dram atic societal disparities, contradictions, and paradoxes create m ultiple and non-monolithical female heterosexuality expressions on both sides of the border. “W hen we do not have th a t much work, we ta lk about it [sex],” expressed Emilia Falcon. For Em ilia and other women in the study, th e world of work exposed them to the sex lives of other Mexican and Latina im m igrant women. Listening to and/or actively participating in informal conversations about sex a t their workplaces was a usual experience for some of these women. Most im portantly, talking about and listening to conversations on sexuality had a significant impact on these women’ s sex lives. For instance, for women like Emilia, being exposed to th e ideologies of las muchachas (young girls) a t the office w here she works represented both a change and a challenge in th e way she perceives her sexuality and h er actual sexual behavior. Emilia reported 210 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. th a t her M ends, m ainly from C entral Am erica, were amigos liberadas who exposed her to more liberal ideologies w ith regard to women’ s sexuality as they conversed about th e ir own sex lives. T he new inform ation she received triggered changes in h er own perspectives on women’ s sexuality and helped her to redefine th e gender politics underlying h e r sexual encounters w ith her husband. As she responded to m y questions, So, you were saying that you talk with your friends ab o u t sex... Well... I have had conversations w ith my friends about sex, you know, young women, who tell me a I do this and that, a n d i f he wants fine, a n d i f he doesn’t, ifs fin e too.” A nd then w hen I think about it, I tell myself “ No way, they are right, i f men do this, why shouldn’t I? I f we are all the same, why am going to stay behind? I have the same need!” So, sexually speaking, have you ch an g ed since then? Yes, my mentality. How? Well... now I tell my husband “ You know w hat? I w ant to do this or I do not feel comfortable when I do this.” Now, I am not going to tell you that we have a great communication, but now, sometimes... i f I do not w ant to do something, I reject him and say, “ You know w hat? I do not w ant to do it.” In other words, now I think more about myself. Em ilia Falcon stated th at she perceives her new social context in the U nited States as m ore permissive for a w om an to express an d to own her sexuality. As I discuss in my next chapter, in addition to netw orking a t her workplace, E m ilia w ent through a profound process of sexual ideology transform ation as she received new inform ation on sexuality and women’ s rights through Spanish speaking talk shows. Interestingly, w ithin th e context o f w ork, E m ilia se le c tiv e ly c h a n g es by ch allen g in g her M ends’se x u a l 211 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. practices—casual sex in particular—while reflecting on th e sexual m orality she learned from h e r mother. As she explained to me: Sometimes we talk and they are very explicit, they are very open. W hat I do not like about them , for example, I do not like about a woman..., perhaps because I have my mother's values is that you should not “ offer” sexually to one person or to another even if they are your friends or coworkers. Or i f you like ju s t for simply having some sexual pleasure, you go and have sex w ith someone ju s t like that, or you go a n d have a cup o f coffee and then you go to bed. Following a similar dynamic, th a t is, being exposed to sexual information and experiencing some sexuality transitions while showing some resistance to change, F ern an d a Galindo ta lk s about her compaheras de trabajo openly discussing th e ir sex lives. F ern an d a describes la curiosidad sexual she has experienced after listening to m any sexual practices (e.g., oral sex) openly and graphically discussed by her friends a t the garm ent shop w here all of them work. As she struggled to explain to me her changes in h er sex life, she Fernanda stated: N ot to change, but yes..., how can I say it...?, I have not changed the way I think about it [sex], because my way o f thinking is different than theirs. B u t sometimes their com m ents made me have ideas and I feel like asking, how can I say it...? I feel curiosity because o f w hat w h a t they do sexually I, because they say it in a way th a t I do not know i f they do it to flatter themselves or what. The change I am experiencing is that now I have m any doubts about w hat really happens in a sexual relation. W hile E m ilia Falcon show ed some resistance to accept h er friends practice of casual sexual based on h er values m ainly learned from her mother, Fernanda Galindo would not take th e risk to explore la curiosidad sexual she has developed after listening to th e sexual conversations of h er friends at work. Fernanda has talked w ith h er sexual partner, a M exican im m igrant man, about th e conversation on sexuality held by h er com paheras de trabajo. 212 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. However, her feelings of em barrassm ent and fear of being judged and devalued by him have not allowed her to explore some of these sexual practices (i.e., oral sex:) in th eir sexual encounters. W hen I asked her the question, “have you changed your sexual behavior w ith your p artn er after listening to all these conversations about sex:?,” she replied: No, like I said, I feel embarrassed. I cannot get to that point with him and doing all that kind o f things because then what is he going to think about me? [laughs]... Where did you learn to do it? Women like Em ilia Falcon and F ernanda Galindo were involuntarily exposed to inform al conversations about sex a t th eir workplaces. Both selectively experienced some type of sexuality transitions while simultaneously challenging and resisting to change in specific ways. Beyond borders, Em ilia and F ern an d a expose in th eir interactions a t w ork the two m echanism s controlling a woman’ s sexuality as discussed chapter # 2 on virginity: fam ily control and sexism. In th e case of Emilia, resistance springs from a m other’s influence on a daughter’ s sexual m orality and behavior; for Fernanda, a fear of being m orally devalued in her sexual encounters with a man raised in a sexist society is more intense th a n a desire to take the risk of possessing h er own sexuality and explore new sexual practices. In sum, biased or unbiased, prejudiced or unprejudiced, misinformed or well-informed, Mexicanas may develop m ultiple images of women representing m ainstream culture while exposing a keen awareness of the conspicuous social and cultural differences between both countries w ith regard to sexuality and sexual morality. Employment and the world of work may offer these women the social spaces to engage into this process. As illustrated, these women critically perceive and analyze th e sexual behaviors and ideologies th ey associate or identified w ith each culture as they unpack their sexuality luggage 213 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. while earning a living in the United States. In addition, their workplaces expose them to the sexualities of other L atin as who at tim es m ay be more liberadas sexualmente th a n themselves. Based on their personal experiences and social encounters, th ey m ay question, criticize or resist these biased or unbiased sexual ideologies and behaviors. As I will discuss in more depth in m y next chapter, im m igrant women are active agents who m ay selectively incorporate into their sex lives w hat is convenient and to embrace w h at is morally or culturally appropriate based on th eir unique sexuality luggage. They may also question and reject w hat is anxiety provoking, disson an t or ethically conflicting. Thus, the multiple possible interactions behind these complex dynamics expose one more lim itation of sexual assim ilation or acculturation paradigms. Becoming p a rt of the world of work by gaining employment and receiving an income has an im pact on th e sexualities of these women through m any social paths. Employment m ay also provide a space where im m igrant women create a perception of the sexualities associated to women representing mainstream culture or where they m ay redefine their own through networking w ith other L atina immigrants. Conclusion In this chapter, I have used a fem inist and sociological approach to explore the various social m echanism s through which M exican im m igrant women both experience significant sexuality transform ations aimed at either reclaiming and possessing or oppressing and expropriating th eir sex lives. F irst, women who gain full-time employment and have control over their income m ay experience a special type of personal em powerm ent th a t is translated into an enhanced control over their sex lives w ithin m arital and family contexts. Second, the world of work may also affect th eir lives through the invasive n atu re of a fast-paced capitalist society. Third, employment m ay 214 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. also offer women a social space to do sexuality, th a t is, to construct im ages about th e sex lives of th e women representing m ainstream culture and also to redefine th eir own sexualities while establishing social networking w ith other L atinas. Finally, living in th e United States does not necessarily m ean sexual em ancipation for a M exican im m igrant woman. Based on a fem inist approach, I exam ined the commodification of the sex act in th e lives of some M exican women before and after migration. As Mexican women m igrate to and establish a perm anent life in the U nited States, internal an d external sexual boundaries are socially defined, created, and recreated by an d for them. For example, networking w ith other L atinas w ithin the world of w ork became an im portant mechanism triggering sexuality transform ations for these women. Beyond the world of work, I will discuss in m y next ch ap ter th e m ultiple w ays in which M exican women dynam ically reconstruct th e ir sex lives and sexualities w ithin their im m igrant com munities through th ree social dimensions: social networks, sex education p resen tatio n s or platicas sobre la sexualidad, and Spanish-speaking ta lk shows. NOTES 1. Note: “his" refers to both the man and the w om an. The use of la n g u a g e in the a c a d e m ic world was not gender sensitive in 1960. 2. W omen from Mexico City were more likely to h ave a paid job than w om en from Jalisco. 15 out of 20 w om en from Mexico City had paid employment, whereas 9 out of the 20 w om en from Jalisco w ere em ployed. 5 out of 20 women from Mexico City and II out of 20 women from Mexico City were full-time housewives. 3. S ee Annelou Ypeij, “Las ‘hijas buenas' y las em p acad oras zamoranas," in Gail Mummert and L uis Alfonso Ramfrez Castillo (Ed.), Rehacfendo las diferenclas, Zamora: E l C olegio d e Michoacdn and Universidad Autdnoma d e Yucatdn, pp. 179-209. 4. In their book The Crossroads o f Class a n d Gender: Industrial Homework, Subcontracting, and Household Dynamics in Mexico City, Lourdes Beneria and Martha Rolddn (1987) illustrate the clear understanding of th e marriage contract held by a group of 140 wom en living in 15 colonias in Mexico City. As stated by Beneria & Rolddn: “It is important to stress that all wives thought that their behavior—in the dom estic and public spheres—should not transgress the limits imposed by the “respect" o w ed to their ‘masters' (their sehores ) respect being defined as o b e d ie n c e and d eferen ce, although the e x a c t definition and limits of respect varied accordin g to ea ch individual's marital experience. The elem ents m entioned as constituents of wives' duties under the marridge contract: unpaid dom estic work; child bearing and rearing; 215 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and sexuality in particular, their articulation, may b e differently defined and e n a c te d according to w om en's co n cep tio n of 'proper' wifedom -m otherhood and gender- related worlds and values' (p. 139). 5. Original text In Spanish: "La mujer mexicana del cam po, dice Elvira Bermudez al contraer matrlmonio es com prada por el hombre, lo que tiene com o consecuencfa un 'uso' de ella. tratando d e sacarle el m ayor provecho poslble' (p. 69). See Raul Bejar Navarro. (1986). E l m exlcano: asp ecto s culturales y psfcosociales. Mexico: Universidad Nacional Autdnoma d e Mdxico. 6. A recent new sp aper article “The Cost of a Tighter Border: People-Smuggling Networks' by Peter Skerry an d Stephen J. Rockwell (Los A ngeles Times. Opinion Section, Sunday May 3, 1998), cites how in a recent c a s e in Florida, 23 M exican immigrant wom en (including 13-year old women) from th e state of Veracruz b e c a m e prostitution slaves to pay off their smuggling fees to their coyotes. Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 216 5 iDe veras...?, Really?: Networking, Sex Education, and Talk Shows “T u rn on th e TV, tu rn on th e TV so you can see!,” Victoria Y&fLez restated her neighbor’ s words w ith excitement to explain how she had called her one m orning and passionately invited her to tu rn on th e TV in a Spanish speaking channel while describing th e advertising of a video on sexuality. Victoria recalled her neighbor’ s insistence and her own sexual curiosity as her reasons to order the cassette while watching the endless sexual promises of the seductive propaganda. Victoria described th e many way’ s in which her own ideas about women’s sexuality were transform ed after watching the video and discussing w ith her neighbor all the new information she had learned about sex. Victoria and the other women in this study are actively participating in m ultiple processes of sexuality transform ations as p art of th eir experiences as im m igrant women. Their stories about their sexuality-related conversations w ith M exican and other Latina im m igrant neighbors, friends, and relatives expand on the argum ent presented in the previous chapter on work, power, m oney an d sex. Becoming p a rt of U.S. society’s labor force may expose M exican im m igrant women to m ain stream culture, b u t m any socially constructed complexities (e.g., m ultiple sexuality luggage, ethnic/cultural resilience, varied non-monolithical female heterosexualities) m ake difficult to su stain th a t this experience would autom atically tran slate into becoming 217 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexually acculturated or assim ilated. Beyond m ainstream social contexts, women’s relationships w ith their M exican and L atina im m igrant relatives, neighbors, and M ends create a M exican women’s com m unity an d culture where conversations about sex become p a rt of their im m igrant experience. In these im m igrant communities, Mexican women are actively constructing new prescriptions and standards for w hat is socially accepted w ith regard to sexual ideologies and practices. In this chapter, I examine M exican women’s active participation in the creation of socially constructed sexuality transform ations w ith in th eir im m ig r a n t com m u n ities. Mexican women experience transform ations in their sex lives w ith in th re e social dim ensions: netw orking, sex education presentations or platicas sobre sexualidad, and Spanish-speaking ta lk shows. These sexuality transitions emerge based on the following dynamics: M exican im m ig ra n t women experience transformations in their sex lives as they exchange information on sexuality within their immigrant networks established in many social scenarios. N etw o rk in g w ith in L atin o /M ex ican im m ig ra n t a n d m ulticultural communities has two central functions in th e sex lives of Mexican im m igrant women. First, it represents a source of social support to cope w ith sexual difficulties and sexuality-related personal concerns. And second, it provides alternative sexual ideologies for these women to educate each other while challenging, renegotiating, and redefining th e ir previously established sexual m oralities, ideologies, and behaviors. Via networking, women undertake sexuality transformations that alternatively enhance and loosen their sexual oppression as women. On one hand, women m ay share sexual information and learn sexually liberating methods and insights on women’s sexuality. On the other hand, they m ay create new tools w ith which to effectively discipline, stigm atize, and negatively label other M exican women. A t its best, they enhance the quality of their sex lives w ithin th e context of couple relationships and en su re a healthier sex life for their daughters and their grandchildren. A t its w orst, in th eir interactions w ith other im m igrant 218 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women, they are exposed to the internalized sexism practiced by th e ir confidentes who prom ote socially le arn ed sexist ideologies and practices. Mexican women encounter transitions in their sex lives as they expose themselves to discussions on sexuality at sex education presentations and Spanish speaking talk shows. Even though each one of th em takes place a t contrasting social scenarios—las platicas usually happen outside in th e com munity and ta lk shows are seen in th e privacy of a hom e—both expose sim ilar dynam ics. F irst, they represent m eaningful sources of information th a t a t then- best have the potential to provide powerful m eans for sexual liberation. Second, th e y offer sources to become sexually lite ra te as women an d as m others w ith regard to th e sex education they are providing for their children. And third, they have a potential im p act in m ultiple ways on th e sexual morality, ideology, and behavior of Mexican im m igrant women. Mexican women are active agents who scrutinize the content they receive while they are being exposed to networks, sex education presentations, and talk shows. They select and reject th e inform ation on sexuality-related them es when they participate in conversations or w hen th ey expose themselves to discussions w ithin these th re e social dimensions. L Networking Sociological studies of M exican women and m en exam ining th e ir im m igration experiences to th e U nited States addresses th e im portance of networking as an essential, dynamic, and complex p art of th eir lives in their new land (e.g., Massey, Alarcon, D urand, and Gonzalez, 1991; Chavez, 1992; Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994; Woo, 1997).1 For the women in th is study, social networks represent an im portant component interm ingling w ith th eir sex lives in complex ways. These women’s sex lives were exposed to and transform ed by the netw orks they actively established in m ultiple social scenarios. They reported th a t conversing about sex while exchanging inform ation about their sex lives w ith other immig ra n t women (e.g., friends, neighbors, coworkers, sisters, sisters-in-law, aunts, among others), provided them w ith the means to 219 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m utually exchange advice, personal support, and information about sex while coping w ith th e ir sexual difficulties. In some instances, these personal interactions had a profound and im pressive im pact on th e sex lives of the women as they became each other’ s confidentes. These dynamics became part of th e daily life experiences between these im m igrant women and other im m igrant L atinas and Latinos, and in some instances, w ith U.S. bom and raised m ulticultural friends. They took place a t m any social scenarios including their schools, clinics, workplaces, churches, or in the privacy of their homes. A . Emanrapatory Networking- Being exposed to and becoming active members of grupos de amistades (groups of M ends) had a dram atic im pact on th e sex lives of some of the women. The story told by Romelia Sanchez from Jalisco illustrates with great detail these dynam ics. For Romelia, learn in g to perceive sexuality as a morally-acceptable topic to be discussed w as only the beginning of a series of changes in her sex life happening as a consequence of networking. Being part of a m ulticultural grupo de amistades she m et in Los Angeles while becoming an im m igrants’ rig h ts com m unity activist and organizer, helped her to overcome some taboos w ith regard to sexuality, to feel more comfortable with h er own sexuality, and to explore new inform ation about sex. One of our dialogues exposes th e tru st and freedom to ta lk about sex which em anated from the atmosphere in which her informal reunions with her groups of friends take place. She describes how she has changed the way she thinks, feels, and talks about sex as p art of this process: What is helping to make that ch an g e to happen? Well, the trust they give you to talk. In other words, nobody is going to criticize you because you talk about sex. A nd nobody would tell you that you are o f the worst kind for talking about it. In other words, there is more freedom to talk here. 220 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. So, where do you think that freedom com es from? Well, it is the atmosphere in which we live here in this barrio. A ll o f our friends that we have are very open and we have them from everywhere, North American, Argentineans, Guatemalans... it is a multicultural group! Romelia explained how m any of her m ulticultural friends were respectful and open while talking about sexuality related issues. She described w ith pride how some of them were well-educated and informed in sexuality m atters. Their conversations about sex w ere unplanned and happened as p a rt of th eir inform al encounters and improvised meetings or some of their planned group activities (i.e., parties, getting together on weekends to go to the beach, going out to th eir favorite cafes, etc.). Romelia described how their conversations about sex emerged as p a rt of a common effort to help, support, or offer orientation to some of th e group members who were experiencing concerns about their sex lives: So, you have these groups of friends, with whom in particular do you talk about sex? With all o f them. In other words, well..., all o f us do not get together, a t times 2 or 3 o f the couples come and talk. Or my neighbor comes and says, “ Well, I have this problem, w hat do I do ? ” Don’t worry, come over! A nd we go and see Conchita and we see what we can do about it, or we go and see someone else. B ut we always get together as a group. Romelia was excited and enthusiastic while describing the m any positive changes she had experienced in her sex life after having exchanged information about sexuality with h er grupo de amistades. She described how h e r m arital life, h er sex life in particular, has been deeply impacted by th e favorable influence of her group of friends. For her, a perception of sex as an obligation w as tra n sfo rm e d in to a p le a s a n t a n d se x u a lly satisfying experience as 221 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. consequence of h e r conversations w ith h er friends. As she explained it while anticipating m y tenacious inquiring: So, you w ere saying th at your sex life has ch a n g ed since you have been living in the United States... Yes, why? because now... how can I say it? Before m aking love was like..., like something th a t I had to do, and now its like som ething th a t can be enjoyed. I look a t it now as more pleasant... more... yes!, it is like as i f now, i f there’ s the need, both o f us have to agree. Now I see it more as a right than as an obligation. So, a t w hat moment does this ch an g e take place? Well..., everything has happened because o f my friends th a t we have had since... with whom we have talked a lot in a way that my m ind has opened up more. Aha, its like in the la st four years is that we enjoyed our sexual relations more As illu s tra te d by R om elia’s story, grupos de am istades offer a safeguarded social space to M exican women where they can discuss personal concerns about sexuality and become p a rt of a dynamic process of their own sexuality transform ations. Rom elia stated th a t she has never experienced stigm a or negative judgm ent by anyone in the group. In addition, women like Rom elia facilitate potential sex u ality tran sitio n s in th e lives of m any im m igrant women living in their neighborhoods and communities. As I will discuss in th e next section, Romelia w as an active organizer of platicas sobre la sexualidad for a group of im m igrant women in her barrio including friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. Other women found in their grupos de amistades a protected social space to openly discuss sexuality related them es and their sex lives. Em ilia Falcon and Norma O rtega, both from Mexico City, described how exposing their sexual concerns w as p a rt of th e ir conversations w ith th e ir groups of C entral American and M exican friends. As discussed in chapter # 4, Em ilia Falcon 222 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. discussed how h e r conversations a t work w ith h er m ostly Central A m erican friends have helped h er explore more egalitarian sexual politics in h er erotic encounters w ith h er husband. Sim ilarly, N orm a explained th e changes she has experim ented after exchanging inform ation on sexuality in h er reuniones de parejas (couples reunions). When I asked her, “W hat have you learned from your conversations w ith these couples?,” she replied: “I have learned th a t th ey have a lot of... how do you say? M ental freedom!, yes! to think about sex as something pleasant or as som ething im portant and things like that.” As she continued, I asked h er if she had experienced some changes in h er sexual behavior as a consequence of these conversations. She replied: Yes, in a positive way because... I did not know that sex was such an important p a rt o f being married, and I do not know why they coincided, well..., in less than two weeks, two or three people told me about the sam e thing. Yes, and that was a positive change because I am more concerned about my partner when we have sex, well, and I think this has been positive for me too. Talking about sex w ithin a group context (friends and couples) offered Rom elia, Em ilia, an d N orm a th e opportunity to explore th e ir sexuality concerns in the presence of th eir husbands. These opportunities facilitated sexual transform ations for them as individuals and as women involved in a heterosexual relationship. From a feminist perspective, Romelia’ s and Emilia’s testim onies exemplify how L atina netw orking m ay promote em ancipatory sex u ality tran sitio n s for heterosexual M exicanas. F irst, both wom en transform ed th eir perception of th eir heterosexual encounters w ithin th e context of marriage; they redefine their understanding of sex fro m a concept of a m arital duty in to th e notion of a right to experience sexual pleasure. And second, th e y contested th e inequality embedding in th e sexual politics of th eir apparently dissatisfying sexual experiences. 223 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. F o r o th e r w om en—e s p e c ia lly th o s e n o t in v o lv ed in a relationship—networking played an im portant role in exploring the importance of sexuality as single women. For A zucena Bermudez, for instance, las reuniones de amigas latinas (Latina friends’ meetings) taking place on a periodical basis a t many of her friends’ homes, represented a social space for them as single women to have conversations about their sex lives. Azucena described h e r circle of friends as being composed mainly by separated and divorced women, and single mothers. Azucena used the term mujeres maduras or m ature women while explaining how they, as women previously involved w ith a man, have learned more about sexuality and important aspects of their own sex lives w ithin the context of their group conversations. She explained how their informal meetings were the ideal forum to exchange ideas, feelings, and opinions as m ature and single women who were not involved in a relationship. Azucena described how she and h er contemporaries discussed while rethinking the meaning of sexuality in their personal lives and in their future relationships with a man. As she reported: In other words, we, as mujeres maduras we look at things in a very different way. In other words, it [sex] is necessary, why?... because your body is asking for it, it is normal, you are a woman, you are functioning! [high pitch of voice] B ut it is not a thing, a goal that we have to have a man ju s t to have him to go and sleep with him. So then, all o f us start looking at this and we talk to see i f it is necessary to have a partner for other kinds ofthings. The stories shared by Romelia Sanchez, Norma Ortega, and Azucena Berm udez illu stra te how m eaningful sex u ality transitions in M exican im m igrant wom en’s lives tak e place as th ese women create, expose themselves to, and participate in their social networks. Their stories also suggest th e participation of im m igrant (i.e., Latino) and non-im m igrant men (i.e., N orth Am erican) in th is process of sexual transform ation. The 224 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. experiences of these women take place within both form al and informal social situations (grupos de amistades, reuniones deparejas, and reuniones de amigas latinas). As discussed in m y previous chapter, besides these types of dynam ically established social circum stances, im m igrant women were also exposed to an d influenced by inform ally held conversaciones on women and sexuality in other types of social settings such as th e context of th e workplace. Beyond th e social arran g em en ts previously described (grupos de amistades, reuniones deparejas, reuniones de amigas latinas) and th e context of the workplace, other women in th e study experienced sexuality transitions after conversing about sexuality on a one-on-one basis w ith th eir neighbors, friends, acquaintances, and sisters. For Irasem a Quiroga, learning about her husband’s desire to have anal sex w ith h er represented a need to learn more about it and to approach her two neighbors. While explaining her feelin g s of despair an d anxiety to me, Ira sem a elaborated o n th e u rg e n t need she experienced to consult with her two neighbors individually to explore if anal sex was a common sexual practice. As she stated: I had to ask for..., not help, but I had to talk about it with another women, my neighbor, who lives right here and the other neighbor who lives a little bit ahead to tell me about it because it was horrible for me! I t was like..., I did not let him touch me. He was going to touch me an d I pushed him away. It was kind o f ugly. It was one o f the m ost horrible things th a t ever happened to me. Irasem a described the comfort she experienced after learning from her two neighbors’ sim ilar difficulties w ith both anal and oral sexual practices. She felt understood and validated in h er personal struggle after talking with th e first one of them , a woman in h er forties who m igrated years ago from E l Salvador. As she explained: 225 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I approached her a nd I told her about it and then she told me that the same thing, she had been through something similar. The same thing I was sharing w ith her..., you imagine, I was telling her som ething th a t she h a d experienced w ith her husband, both doing it orally and anally. “ The same, the same, the same! Imagine,” she said, “ I am reliving it!” As we continued w ith our interview, Irasem a described her conversation w ith h er second neighbor, a Mexican imm ig ra n t woman in h er fifties. Once again, she described th e comfort she experienced for a second tim e as h er Mexican neighbor disclosed h er own personal struggle w ith anal sex. From her Irasem a received specific inform ation on how to cope w ith h e r physical discomfort while experimenting with anal sex, as she reported: After talking with her I felt relaxed because I had felt like I was the only one in this world who was going through this. A n d after we talked, she told me that yes, th a t it would hurt a lot b u t that I needed to do it carefully and th a t I needed to be patient and th a t I should not tight m yself so it would not hurt th a t much, and also to do my best while doing it with him. B u t for me, it was horrible! A fter h e r conversations w ith b o th neighbors, Irasem a fe lt m ore comfortable about her new knowledge on anal sex. Even though anal sex never becam e a pleasurable sexual practice for Irasem a, she learned from them specific strategies such as th e use of a lu b rican t to avoid feeling physical discomfort. Sim ilar to Irasem a’s story, those stories of Victoria Yanez, E ren d ira F uentes, and Amparo B arcenas expressed th e sexuality tran sitio n s they experienced after participating in personal conversations about sex w ith their neighbors, M ends, and sisters, respectively. As illustrated in the introduction to this chapter, Victoria Yafiez attributed h er sexuality transform ations to h er neighbor’ s advice to buy an d watch a video on hum an sexuality. For E rendira F uentes, after becoming a P rotestant in Los Angeles, she was influenced by 226 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. th e comments m ade on sexuality by h er Mexican amigo within their religious context. In addition to the conversations th at E rendira held with her friend Conrado a t th e ir Adventist church, she regularly held telephone conversations w ith him to ta lk about sexuality. E rendira explained how both of them teased each other on th e telephone while sharing their personal sexual experiences. She recalls th e m ost important advice she received from him while helping her to make im portant decisions about h er sexuality, “Do n et be foolish, sex is not dirty, it’s healthy, but ju st take care of yourself!” L ater in our conversation, when I asked h e r the question, “All th e conversations th a t you had w ith him about sex..., have they had an im pact on you?, she replied: Yes, because the image o f sexual relations that I used to have was like sex was a sin. E ven thinking about it, having any sexual temptation in my m ind was sinful. So, after talking with him , I do not feel guilty i f I think or talk about it. Or i f I imagine something..., I do not feel guilty. I think it is healthy. Finally, for Amparo Barcenas having informal conversations about sex with one of h er kermanas has helped her to start looking a t women’ s sexuality in a different way. For Amparo, exchanging ideas w ith h er sister about how to b etter educate th e ir daughters w ith regard to sexuality has become an im portant p a rt of her life during th e 25 years she has lived in Los Angeles. While still struggling with some of h er traditional views on women’ s sexuality, exchanging ideas w ith her sister about sexuality has helped her to become more liberada or liberated w ith reg ard to the w ay she is educating h er adolescent daughter. While I explored w ith Amparo some of the cultural differences she has encountered while educating her children in the U nited States, she elaborated w ith sadness and resignation on the im pact h er conversations w ith her sister are having on the sexual m orality she is teaching to her daughter: 227 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. She [sister] has three adolescent daughters a n d they are completely free. The three o f them have sexual relations, and I think all this is helping me to accept that the same w ill happen with my fam ily some day. So far, I have described how some of th e women in th e study have been influenced in their sex lives by the social interactions th ey have m aintained within both group and individual networking. In addition, other stories were told to me illustrating sim ilar situations w here the women in the study play a contrasting role. T h a t is to say, im m igrant women are th e facilitators of networks th at influence th e sex lives of their friends, neighbors, and relatives. The stories told by J u a n ita Loreto, Candelaria de la Rosa, Xochitl Arteaga, Jim ena Lombardo, and Azalea Zapata dem onstrate how im m igrant women play an active role as confidentes to other Latina women (im m igrant and non immigrant) who also provide them w ith sexual advice. For Juanita Loreto, from Jalisco, providing support and understanding for some of her friends coping with sexual difficulties was p art of her routine as a full-time housewife. Before starting w ith our interview, Ju an ita asked me if I was a counselor who could offer my clinical services to some of her friends who were survivors of eith er domestic or some type of sexual violence. Ju an ita described the tru st w ith which her amigas share w ith h er intim ate issues about their sex lives w hen looking for her emotional support: Some people tell me such stories, incredible but it’ s the truth! Some people look for me and tell me, “ I can’ t believe how after I speak with you I feel so relaxed!” There are some people who call me to talk about it [sex]. I have some friends who call me and say, “ Oh! I feel so comfortable when I speak w ith you about my problems!” Similarly, Candelaria de la Rosa and Xochitl Arteaga, both from Jalisco, talked about the specific messages they would offer to th eir relatives and friends who were experiencing sexual difficulties in their m arital relationships. 228 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Candelaria de la Rosa, for instance, quoted herself while paraphrasing th e type of advice or consejo she gave to h er aunt: Well, my aunt som etim es used to tell me that she d id not have sexual relations w ith her husband and I gave her consejos, “ M otivate him!, i f he does not w ant to have sex, well, you can start by teasing him !” Because she wanted for him to be the one to initiate it and I advised her that the initiation was mutual, from both o f them. L ater on, C andelaria described the consejos she gave to a friend who complained th a t she could n o t experience orgasms. C andelaria recommended th a t h er M en d read lite ra tu re on women’ s sexuality to educate h erself in sexuality m atters. W hen C andelaria realized th a t her M end was illiterate she gave her specific lines to say to h e r husband during sex: A n d I told her, “ Tell you husband that you do not feel anything so he can explore the way to make you feel som ething because th a t is necessary for your body to feel relaxed and also to feel go o d ” Following a parallel p attern , Xochitl A rteaga described some of th e conversations she had w ith m any of her Mends who were suffering from sexual difficulties in th eir relationships. She offered an example of a Latina im m igran t M end whose sexual and m a rital life had been affected by a lack of privacy brought on by sharing her sm all home with extended fam ily members. Xochitl discussed w ith h er M end some of the options to improve th e quality of her sex life: A nd I tell her, “ B u t look, Eugenia, if you did not live w ith them, I th in k you would have a nicer relationship, otherwise, you cannot do it [sex]. I th in k that by living with other people, you lose your privacy. ” In addition, Xochitl talked enthusiastically and w ith a glowing face about other sexual stories she w as exposed to as part of h er personal conversations with her m arried M ends. She explained, for example, th e w ay she instructed a 229 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. U.S.-born and- raised Mexican-American friend about th e m ean in g of wearing seductive lingerie as an im portant p a rt of successful foreplay w ith her husband. Xochitl shared w ith me one of her dialogues w ith her Chicana M end while offering her advice on how a woman can create sexual excitement as part of m arital life: She said, “i,De veras? (Really?)” when I told her, “ No, its different when they [men] see you carelessly dressed wearing an old robe. So, i f they see you in an old and long robe, what kind o f emotions can be provoked that way? However, i f you take a shower, change clothes, get dressed, when the man looks at you, w hafs going to happen next it is different!” A n d she said, “ I think you are right, I w ill buy that type o f clothes.’ ’ A t first glance, X ochitl’s advice m ight seem to m ake th e wom an resp o n sib le for an a p p ro p ria te sexual atm o sp h ere. H ow ever, her recom m endation has th e potential to offer women clear avenues to explore sexual pleasure and excitem ent. At some point d uring the interview, Xochitl expressed the excitem ent and enjoyment she experienced as a woman while going through this preparation ritual for a sexual encounter w ith h er husband. In addition, while discussing w ith her the extent to which she believed all her recom m endations to h e r C hicana frien d w ere p a rt of th e w om an’s responsibility for the sexual satisfaction in m arital life, she commented: “I do it to please him and to please m yself too, I do it for the good of both of us.” Jim ena Lombardo an d Azalea Zapata, both from Mexico City, shared th e ir experiences of sexual m entoring to th eir younger and inexperienced female M ends. Both Jim en a and Azalea described th e ir efforts to play th e role of an older sister to these M ends. They give them advice on how to take care of th eir bodies, how to prevent a pregnancy (i.e., contraceptive pills, condom use, abortion, etc.), and how to have a healthy reproductive life. Jim ena talked about the ways she has tried to teach her friend Filomena about reproductive health: 230 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. W hat happened to her is th a t this young boy got her pregnant and then abandoned her and she had many problems w ith her family. I have known her for years. I told her, “ There are so many ways to prevent a pregnancy, what are you going to do if you get pregnant again?” In a very sim ilar m anner, Azalea Zapata described her desire to teach h er young friend to be a responsible parent while learning to develop an appropriate family planning method. W hen I asked Azalea, “W hat do you and your M end talk about?,” she replied: I have told her, “ Why don’t you use condoms? There are clinics out there where they can give you contraceptive p ills or something else.” I have told her many times, “ I f you already have three girls, why don’t you have surgery so you don’t get pregnant again?” She told me the other day that she had had sex not only with her husband but with someone else, and now she does not even know who the father o f the child is! The stories I have exam ined illu strate how group an d individual netw orking paves the w ay for sexuality transform ations for both th e im m igrant women in the study an d th e women (both im m igrant and non im m igrant) w ith whom they in teract. In general, netw orking has three important functions in the sex lives of imm igrant women: Networking represents a source of social and personal support. Mexican women use this social process in two ways: to cope w ith sexual difficulties they have in their re la tio n s h ip s a n d to m a in ta in th e ir psychological equilibrium with regard to their sexual health. 2 Networking provides alternative sexual ideologies th a t c h a lle n g e an d m o d ify previously established value systems and their actual sexual behavior. Networking offers im m ig ra n t women an opportunity to educate each other about sexuality. The sexuality transform ations I have discussed seem to promote a socially progressive sexual m orality and therefore might help women to move 231 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. toward an em ancipatory or liberating sex life. Paradoxically, while presenting their networking experiences, some women uncovered m any of the ideological risks to which they m ight be exposed while sharing th eir sex lives w ith th eir friends, neighbors, and sisters. As I will discuss below, in some cases th e netw orking forums in which Mexican women move w ith their friends and relatives also expose them to internalized sexism. B . Dangerous Liaisons: Networking and Internalized Sexism “Look, women are guilty of their problems w ith men, and I think th a t is the reason why they come to me to talk about all this!,” exclaimed Soledad Torres while condemning h er friends who will consistently look for h er advice and orientation as a strategy to explore solutions to th eir m arital difficulties. Soledad talked about th e stories she has heard from m any women complaining about their husbands’ infidelities. In th is study, I discovered th a t Soledad an d other wom en have internalized sexism by learning, practicing, and promoting sexually oppressive ideologies, m oralities, and behaviors which sexually oppress themselves as a social group. I utilize th e term “internalized sexism” to identify this dynamic w here women p articip ate in th e social reproduction of sexism w hile sim ultaneously oppressing themselves. 3 A t th e core of th is com bined psychological and social process, women socially create new tools w ith w hich they effectively control, stigm atize, and negatively label other women. Therefore, netw orking helps M exican women n o t only to share am ong themselves information and learn sexually liberating methods and insights b u t to alternatively tighten and loosen their sexual oppression as women. The following stories illustrate the presence of both internalized sexism and its social reproduction via networking. The sexual stories told by Irasem a Quiroga, Irene Juarez, O ralia Pacheco, and M acaria Negrete illustrate how 232 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. imm igrant women were exposed to th e internalized sexism of th eir confidences. The experiences described by Y adira Velez and Soledad Torres reflect how some women in th e study involuntarily promote sexually oppressive ideologies while offering sexual advice to their sisters, sisters-in-law, an d friends. Even though th e sexual experiences shared by Irasem a Quiroga, Irene Juarez, and O ralia Pacheco happened under different social circum stances, each of th eir sexual stories shares a common denom inator: a confidente who reinforced a sexually oppressive ideology by m aintaining th a t m arried women are responsible for the sexual satisfaction of their husbands and th a t failing to comply w ith th is principle is an indisputable excuse for a m an to look for a lover. Irasem a Quiroga who learned from her two neighbors th a t anal sex is a frequently practiced sexual behavior, described the specific recommendations of one of h er neighbors who em phasized the im portance of satisfying h er husband’s request for anal sex. Irasem a explained th a t h e r friend cautioned th at if she did comply w ith it, the husband would “look elsew here” to satisfy his sexual needs: I see th a t other couples do it and now I see it as som ething normal, and I feel more relaxed. A nd then she told me, “ Be patient, talk to him and everything, relax and try to do it. Look, like this, this way or this other way. Because if you do not do it, he will look for it somewhere else and...” A n d I said, oh my God! While explaining her need to m ake sure her h usband had his sexual needs met, Irasem a talked about how she would force h erself to endure the pain of anal sex for fear of being betrayed and later abandoned by him. She repeatedly said, “Yes, and I said: no, no, no, I have to be able to, I have to be able to, but for m e it’ s horrible!” W hen I asked her th e question, “After you go through all this, w h at motivated you to finally have anal sex w ith him?,” she replied 233 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. So he would not go out to the streets to look for it, ifs like,u I f they have a t home what they want, they do not look for it elsewhere” As did Irasem a Quiroga, Irene Ju&rez talked about how after learning of her husband’s extra-m arital affair, she had a conversation with a close friend who m ade h e r think th a t it w as her inability to satisfy her husband’s sexual needs th a t provoked him to find a lover. Irasem a stated: Well, she has told me th a t with regard to sex that perhaps it was m y responsibility for the change in my husband’ s sexuality. Perhaps I was guilty because I did not give him what he was asking for. L ater during the interview, we explored the negative effect of h er friend’ s comments on her sex life. Irene displayed her personal struggle while defending herself from her friend’s pronouncement on her inability to sexually satisfy her husband. A fter I asked her th e question, “The fact th a t she has made these comments to you, has th a t affected you sexually?,” she stated with tears in her eyes and an afflicted tone of voice: Yes, because, perhaps, I say sometimes to m yself that I am guilty and I have that inside my head, that I am guilty..., on one hand. B u t on the other hand, I say that it is not possible, I have not failed! B ut I do not how to have a different kind of sexual relationship other than w hat I know! In th e same vein, Or alia Pacheco expresses w ith her story a woman’ s concern over keeping her husband sexually satisfied to protect herself from being sexually betrayed or abandoned. O ralia Pacheco talked about some of her conversations with lassenoras whom she m et a t E l Centro Familiar where her children attend elem entary school. O ralia described with a glowing but concerned expression in her eyes some of the conclusions she reached w ith las senoras w ith regard to the im portance of wearing lingerie and taking care of one’s personal appearance to m ake sure a husband is sexually satisfied and to guarantee a happy m arital relationship. 234 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. For example, the other day, una senora came and told me that her husband had told her, * I would never leave you for another woman” an d I said, th a fs great! I asked her about w hat she did and she said that she always wears make up even a t home and that she is always all dressed up and th a t w hen her husband gets home, she always has a good attitude and a smile for him. So, then thafs w hat I try to be O.K. with him and to look good. Earlier during the interview, Or alia had talked to me about h er husband having an extra-m arital affair while both were still living in their small town in Jalisco. She believed th a t if she followed her friend’s advice, she could protect h erself from repeating the sam e story here living in th e U nited States. Interestingly, among h er reasons for coming to Los Angeles, O ralia talked to me about her desire to move with h er husband far away from h e r small town as a strategy to p u t some geographical distance between her husband and his lover. The last story presents a woman’s need for the m oral support and advice of a friend after being sexually victimized. M acaria N egrete talked about th e confusion and pain she experienced after her boyfriend sexually assaulted her in an extremely violent way. While feeling confused and hurt, M acaria talked w ith one of her friends to find support in h er decision to term inate her relationship with him. M acaria was advised by h e r friend not to leave th e relationship and to allow herself the time to recover from such a painful experience. As Macaria explained: / have a friend who tells me not to make a decision that quickly. She has had this type o f experience but it does not compare to what I went through. She has told me, “ Look, do not take it impulsively, do not make a decision like that, time w ill take care o f i t ” As I mentioned above, some stories reflect how some of the women in the study themselves promoted sexually oppressive practices w hen offering 235 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. advice or support to some of th eir sisters or sisters-in-law. First, Y adira Velez talked about how her youngest sisters and sisters-in-law consistently sought her out to disclose their m arital difficulties. Yadira talked about the advice she gave her sister-in-law who told h er ju s t recently it had been 3 m onths since th e two had had sex. As does Irasem a, Irene, and O ralia—Yadira also espouses the same principle th a t the woman is responsible for th e sexual satisfaction of a m an and th a t therefore women are responsible for m en’s sexual behavior. As Yadira clearly articulated it: I th in k th a t by her avoiding contact w ith him , he w ill go somewhere else. Even worse, i f she does not do it with him for 2 or 3 months, ifs natural!, they [men] would look for it some where else! I think that you as a woman have to do a lot to make sure the man is relaxed a t home so he does not go out to look for another woman, because it is the woman who sends her m an into another woman’ s arms. Soledad Torres who talked about her experience w ith friends who were looking for h er advice concerning sexual m atters in th e ir relationship. By saying “... women are guilty of th eir problems w ith men...!,” it could be argued th a t Soledad’s statem ent made th e women responsible for their hu sb an d s’ extra-m arital affairs. In sum , as illustrated by th e m ajority of th e women in th e study, netw orking provides M exican im m igrant women w ith th e resources to alternatively contest and reproduce th eir own sexual oppression. On one hand, networking provides them w ith an arena where they can discuss their sexual difficulties, m arital problems, and reproductive h ealth issues. In general, it serves to expand their knowledge of women’ s sexuality. On the other hand, the interaction w ith other women m ay expose them fu rth e r to sexist ideologies perpetuated by other Mexican or L atina women. In all cases, how ever, networking recreates social circum stances Mexican women use in o rder to 236 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. c re a te a discurso sexual or sex u al discourse w ith in th e ir im m ig ran t communities. Through th is sexual discourse, they expose th eir sex lives to other women and selectively transform various aspects of th eir sex lives. As will be seen below, im m ig ra n t networks, along w ith other social circumstances w ithin their communities prompt sexuality transform ations in th ese Mexican women’ s lives. n. Sex Education: Las platicas sobre la sexualidad Las platicas sobre la sexualidad w as an im p o rtan t source of new inform ation on sexuality for more th a n 60% of the 40 women participating in th is study.4 Las platicas sobre la sexualidad are form al presentations on sexuality conducted by Spanish professionally-trained h ealth educators (most of whom are Latina/o im m igrants them selves) at com m u n ity -b a se d agencies, hospitals, schools, and churches. A ttending las platicas provided women with not only new inform ation on sexuality b u t they also m ade an im pact on their sex lives. A ttending las platicas seem ed to provoke an a rra y of sexuality transform ations th a t occurred at different levels and to various degrees in the lives of these women. A . Gender Relations. Inst ryldticas- and SftYiialitv Las platicas provided some of th ese women w ith altern ativ e and emancipatory ideologies w ith regard to gender relations. Patriarchally-defined ideologies on social relations between m en and women were challenged as these women were exposed to m ore egalitarian perspectives on women’ s rights. One of th e basic tenets of machismo (i.e., th e woman is supposed to serve th e man) was rejected by some of th e women who expressed th a t th ey had learned new inform ation about women's equal rights.5 A zalea Z apata offered th e best example of this dynamic as she explained to me some of th e ideological lessons she learned at las platicas: 237 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I did not know! I did not know! When I lived there I used to th in k —and there are m any who still think th a t w ay—well, I always thought that the woman was supposed to serve the man. A nd here I have learned m any things, you know, that we women and men are equal and th a t we do not have to be their servants, that we are equal partners. Azalea’s words offer an example of how patriarchally-based perceptions th a t promote inequality in gender relations are understood by Mexican women. H er words also explain how m achism o, as an ideology, promotes social domination, inequality, and control by m en over women. A new transfigured ideology prom otes equal power dynam ics in th e m arital relationship. Sim ultaneously, th e sexual encounters between th ese women and th eir partners are redefined. D uring our interview, A zalea explained how while learning about women’ s equal rights she developed a n insight about women’ s sexual rights: she learned about her right to enjoy sexual pleasure and not to perceive sex as a m arital obligation. As she reported: About sex... well, I have learned that one can satisfy oneself, not only the man but the woman as well, that is why it is a couple. A nd no, I do not see it [sex] as an obligation. I have learned many things here, that is not an obligation to be w ith your husband. I should not be forced, only if I w ant it, I will do it. Thus, women used their knowledge and awareness of their sexual rights in order to reconstruct th e power dynamics involved in th e ir heterosexual encounters betw een them selves and th e ir partners. As discussed in my previous chapter, for women like Azalea, gaining paid employment and redefined gender dynamics may strengthen even m ore this process of sexual autonomy w ithin the m arital relationship. Following a parallel pattern, learning about HIV/AIDS a t las platicas provided some of these women w ith the necessary inform ation to become more assertive while claiming personal control and sexual ownership in their sexual encounters w ith their husbands and protecting themselves from El SIDA or 238 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. AIDS. Emilia Falcon’s experience after attending las platicas illustrates this process: After I went to a seminar on E l SID A, I told my husband, “ You have to use a condom if you w ant to have sex with me.” In other words, yes, it has influenced, because it m ight be my bad luck and I do not w ant to get infected. I have told him, “ I am not sure where you go when you go out so we better use a condom or lets see w hat we do about it. ” For other women, las platicas n o t only transform ed traditional forms and power dynamics of gender relationships. Learning about hum an sexuality in las platicas allowed some of them to feel more self-accepting of and comfortable with their bodies. This new facet of personal growth had a positive im pact on the nature and th e quality of th eir sex lives and their relationships w ith th eir partners. For example, Y adira Velez detailed the discomfort she always experienced by exposing her naked body while changing clothes in front of h er husband. She explained the personal freedom she felt after attending las platicas with a family counselor: I did not like for him to see me..., you know, I used to tell him, “ You know what?, I am going to change clothes, get out o f the bedroom.” Or I turned off the lights i f he was there, or even if he was there and he was sleeping, I turned o ff the light so I could change clothes. B u t not now, now I am more free to be able to change clothes. In this way, w om en experienced both personal freedom an d an improvement in th eir heterosexual relationships as a consequence of th eir knowledge on sexuality. Women also interpreted personal freedom in term s of sexuality as becoming mas abierta or opening up one’ s mind while elim inating some old taboos th a t do not allow women to ta lk openly about sexuality w ith a sexual partner. Some of them articulate how knowledge on sexuality helps them to “open up” their mind with regard to sexuality. Romelia Sanchez and 239 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Irene Juarez exemplify this process as they replied to m y question: “Has your sex life changed after attending las platicasT They stated: Yes, it has changed a lo t because before I talked w ith my husband but I was not th a t open. Now I can talk more, now I know more, right? Because like I tell you, here oneself opens up a lot w ith las platicas th a t I have been taking. (Romelia Sanchez) Well, yes, like I said, I am not the way I used to be in the past, soy mas abierta (I am more open). (Irene Juarez) Romelia in particular talk ed about the im portant w ays in which the quality of h er sex life w ith h er hu sb an d has changed after attending las platicas. She described w ith excitem ent th e open com m u n ication th a t she is now able to m aintain with him while discussing sexuality-related issues in her m arital relationship. From condom use to betrayal and m u tu al respect as a couple, Romelia w ent into detail to discuss the various aspects h er m arital relationship she is now able to discuss w ith her husband: A t the beginning we started to use condoms, because we did not use them , right? But... well, now my husband a n d I have something to talk about and before he and I talked about things but we had never talked about it seriously, you know, whether he ever wanted to have another partner or whether he ever w anted to have another wom an. Finally we cam e to an agreement, we told each other, “ We are going to respect each otherF In sum, Romelia’ s words encompass the various levels of sophistication with which these women create sexuality transitions in th e context of their intim ate-partner relationships. Sexuality, as a social and a cultural construct, flows m alleably while being decomposed, reconstructed, an d redefined as women are exposed to and in te ra c t w ith new inform ation on sexuality. Knowledge on sexuality obtained a t las platicas sobre la sexualidad is utilized by women to actively modify th e n a tu re of sexualized gender dynamics. Sexuality transitions influence th e n atu re of the gender relations between 240 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. these women and th e ir partners. In turn, redefined gender relations provide women w ith alternative and more em ancipatory ways of experiencing th eir sexual encounters. As observed, inform ation obtained from las platicas have the potential to promote sexuality transitions in im m igrant women’s sexual lives in three ways: W omen learn to challenge sexist ideologies th a t oppress them as sexual subjects while at the sam e tim e, th ey are exposed to em ancipatory belief system s th a t promote equal rights for women and th eir corresponding sexual rights. Women learn to question power dynamics th a t are oppressive to them as heterosexual women in th eir sexual encounters with men. W omen learn to enhance th e quality of their sex lives and their relationships w ith their partners in redefined contexts of m u tu al respect and social equality. Besides stim ulating a bidirectional interaction between gender relations and sexuality, at a personal level, las platicas helped women to learn a new language with regard to sexuality. Interestingly, becoming literate in m atters of sexuality went beyond th e domestic sphere as the women reported th a t they reached out to women in th eir imm igrant communities. B. Becoming Sexually Literate: From Private to Publics Learning about and becoming aware of E l SID A or AIDS was one of the m ost im portant them es discussed by the w om en who said they h ad been influenced by las platicas sobre la sexualidad. As I explored th e sexuality them es discussed a t these presentations, A zucena Bermudez and E m ilia Falcon described th e inform ation they have learned about AIDS/HIV a t las platicas'. 241 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I have learned, a lot o f information because I have been taking courses. They gave us a five-m onth course about all that, sexually transmitted diseases, m any themes but they focused a lot on El SIDA and also the diseases, but more on El SEDA (Azucena Bermudez) I have attended many seminars on E l SIDA at many places. In fact, ju s t recently I went to have my H IV test, right here a t the clinic. (Emilia Falcon) For other women, accumulating and m astering all inform ation received from las platicas w ith regard to El SIDA helped them to become m ore aware of the potential dangers of unprotected sex. For example, E ren d ira Fuentes described for me how she would retrieve th e information she has learned about STDs and would use it as a flashing lig h t to protect herself from getting sexually involved w ith the men she dates. As Erendira stated: I pay a lot o f attention at las platicas. I have memorized the information and every time I am in a difficult situation, when I am with a man, I remember all o f the information about how dangerous it is and I say “ No!” Perhaps, that is one o f the reasons why I am not sexually active, that is why. Being sexually literate also m eant learning about terminology related to the sexual experience. Cecilia Duarte talked about some of the new sexuality- related language she has acquired while attending las platicas. W ith a spark of excitement in her eyes, Cecilia explained how, even though she has always been orgasmic, she did not know the term “orgasm” until she attended las platicas. I did not even know what an orgasm was, I had never heard the word orgasm! Because... in other words, I had felt it but I had never heard about it and I did not know how it was called. So, I learned about it through the books I read and the courses a t the clinic. Becoming sexually literate also m eant being better prepared to provide a well-informed sex education to their children. Some of them, especially those 242 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. educating th e ir children in th e U n ited States, expressed th eir personal satisfaction for acquiring knowledge an d skills on sexuality which ultim ately would help them to provide their children w ith an appropriate sex education. These wom en reflected on th eir lack of opportunity to atten d th is type of platicas or to have access to educational m aterial while living in Mexico. As they establish comparisons between both N orth Am erican and Mexican social contexts, Cecilia D uarte and Idalia Jim enez exemplify how these platicas or cursos (courses) are providing them w ith the m eans to b etter educate th eir children w ith regard to sexuality: Here you have the opportunity to have this type o f training. They have graphic material th a t one does not know and you take advantage o f it. A nd when you learn about it, you like it. A n d then you can ask for information. A nd in Mexico we do not have that information. I have taken brief seminars in that regard and I have read books to learn to talk about sex to my children, you know, how to communicate more openly. Also how to communicate with m y partner. (Cecilia D uarte) Well, she [instructor] was giving the answers, and because of my children I changed. Because lets say, lefs suppose that we were in Mexico and in Mexico nobody talks about it. B u t a t least they gave us that movie a t the school and you trust the information and now you know how a baby comes out o f the mother’ s body. Otherwise, it would be difficult to explain it. (Idalia Jimenez) Beyond becoming sexually literate, learning inform ation for personal protection, or acquiring more resources to educate a child, one woman w ent from the private sphere to the public by extending her personal experience to h er com m unity. Romelia Sanchez talked u n in te rru p te d ly about th e im pressive im pact las platicas had on her sex life an d h er m arital life in particular. As a highly committed community activist, she wanted to offer to her neighbors and grupos de amistades how she had successfully changed h er personal life. She organized a group of women in her neighborhood (all of them Spanish-speaking Latino immigrants), and asked the com munity educator who 243 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. conducted las platicas to come to h er barrio to give th e sam e series of sex education presentations. Romelia expressed w ith great pride how m ost of her neighbors were able to complete and graduate after attending las platicas. She w as very excited w hile explaining th e reasons for some of h e r neighbors’ potential resistance to learn about sexuality. To tell you the truth I fell in love w ith las pl& ticas, I fell in love with the programs. She [com m unity educator] is a well- prepared w om an an d I ju s t loved the way she gave us a presentation. So I told her, “ Do m e a favor, why don’t you come to our barrio and I get you the people?” -And that is w hat I say, that is the way you can help people. A n d nobody is going to feel offended, even though everybody says “ No, I already know everything” a n d th a t is not true. You never g et to know everything, and i f you do, you forget about it. C . Bevond las nlaticas on S U > x z Tmmiyrant Women as Active Agents According to th e se women’s stories, th e sexuality tran sitio n s th a t emerged as a consequence of las platicas were of a non-linear fashion and they affected the women in different ways as well. Regardless of th e ir places of origin, women selectively discrim inated from among the hum an sexuality- related m aterial presented to them by th e ir educators. Some women rejected th e inform ation w hile others accepted i t after questioning th e knowledge discussed by th e ir educators. F or in stan ce, Azalea Z ap ata—who was impacted significantly in h er sex life after attending las platicas—chose not to change her sexual behavior after le a rn in g about some sexual practices unknown to her (i.e., oral sex). I did not know th a t oral sex existed, I never heard about it. B u t thank God, I have never done it because I think it is not right. O ther women changed only to a certain degree and explained how a process of personal aw areness helped them to incorporate into th eir lives only 244 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. specific m aterial th a t was acceptable according to th e ir value system. As Belen C arrera stated: Well, look, that also helps, the information, education helps a lot. W hat I know, what I have learned provides me with more information and I take w hat is necessary or positive. Because what it is not right, what I see as not being right, I get rid o f it, I do not take it. (Belen Carrera) Interestingly, some did not experience changes b u t anticipated if they continue being exposed to platicas on sexuality. N orm a O rtega, who experienced h er conversations w ith her Central American and Mexican friends as an opportunity to talk openly about sex, expressed: No, no, no. Well, las platicas m ight influence to some extent but, on me u n til today they have not influenced me. I have not changed the way I think about sex. (Norma Ortega) And finally, some women who attended las platicas said they were not influenced a t all in their sex fives b u t they expressed an awareness of the new information. They openly stated no personal changes in the ways they feel or behave sexually or perceive sexuality. Some elaborated more th a n others, some simply stated a brief answer. As they stated: Well, I think that I already have my ideas and it is difficult for someone to change them because I have attended presentations, movies about sex, about El SIDA, and I have never said to m yself “ until today I was th a t way, now I am going to be careful.” I am the same. (Candelaria de la Rosa) Well, I have not changed. I am still the same but I have more inform ation and I know how to take care o f myself. (Diam antina Estrada) Well, yes, it has som ething to do, they give you more information, more information but the way I think it is still the same, it has not changed. (Gabriela Hurtado) I t has influenced me because o f the information. Now I have more information but I have not changed the way I am. (Soledad Torres) 245 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Ill sum, im m igrant women as sexual beings are active social agents who go beyond a simplified process of “learning about sex and assim ilating the inform ation” or “becoming sexually acculturated.” While being exposed to inform ation on sexuality, these women meticulously choose the inform ation th a t is acceptable and incorporate it selectively into their personal lives. Sim ultaneously, they transform their own sexualities into new sexualities actively created as p a rt of th eir personal experiences w ithin specific social contexts. The new fem ale heterosexualities dynam ically created hy them selectively em brace both elem ents from th e ir country of o rig in and transform ed components incorporated from the im m igrant community and its institutions— in this particular case from las platicas. m . Spanish-speaking Talk Shows Cristina: There are many reasons why women lie to men and tell them that they have little [sexual] experience or that they are virgins. Denise, it is my understanding for example, th a t in y o u r case, you lie to m en because you believe that by doing so they are going to respect you more. Denise: Yes, ... well, when I was 14,1 had a boyfriend who was 26, and I knew that he wanted me only to have sex with him. It was not a serious relationship ... I was a child. Then, in order to be respected by him, I had to lie to him by making him believe that I was a virgin, and when he touched me, I told him that I was scared. Then, I tell all o f them [men] the same thing now, that I am a virgin so they respect me. Denise, a young adult G uatem alan woman, is one of the four Latina panelists who debated about virginity in front of an intense and challenging audience participating in a T.V. Spanish talk-show produced in 1995. Cristina is th e highly acclaimed L atina version of Oprah Winfrey leading this talk-show. El Show de Cristina is th e number-one daytime television show and one of the top ten Spanish language programs in the United States (Te3genandKamp, 1996). 246 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Talk shows in Spanish (i.e., E l Show de Cristina, Sevcec, E l y Ella, etc.) are popular for dealing w ith controversial topics previously considered taboo or forbidden in Spanish-language m edia. The preservation of prem arital virginity, as illustrated, is still identified as one of th e most contestable sexuality-related topics for L atinas who live in th e U nited States. Besides th is controversial issue, other sexuality-related topics openly discussed in talk shows include gay and lesbians coming out to th e ir fam ilies during the show, prostitutes and topless dancers challenging religious m inisters’ ideas of sex and morality, lesbians and gays talking about th eir sexual relationships, homosexual m en teaching heterosexual women howto please their sexual partners, among others. Spanish-speaking audiences living in the United States have made of E l Show de Cristina a success. E l Show de Cristina (or sim ply Cristina) is conducted and produced by Cuban-born journalist C ristina Saralegui. This popular ta lk show was established by Univision Network in 1989.7 Cristina became the Spanish-speaking T.V. netw orks’ answer to m ainstream television talk shows (i.e., Oprah Winfrey, P hil Donahue, Geraldo Rivera, etc.). Cristina has served as a role model an d com petition for other increasingly popular Spanish ta lk shows established afterw ards, e.g., Sevcec an d E l y E lla by Telemundo. C ristina Saralegui w as honored with the Em m y Award in 1991, the GLAAD A w ard in 1997, an d a sta r on the Hollywood W alk of Fam e in 1999.8 However, it is im portant to note th a t Cristina found rigorous opposition from religious leaders and influential conservatives when it was aired in Mexico. Cristina was accused of being “a th re a t to traditional M exican values and a potential corruptor of young people” (Telgen and Kamp, 1996).9 W hy is im portant to exam ine th e im pact of S panish speaking talk shows on M exican im m igrant women’s sexuality? The m ajority of the women in the study reported w atching ta lk shows on Spanish-speaking television 247 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. networks. As I will discuss later, ta lk shows play a n im portant social role on the sexualities of th e wom en in th e study at two levels. First, w hether they inform or w hether they conceal th e audience, Spanish-speaking ta lk shows represent socially constructed processes th a t M exicanas use to redefine their sexualities and sex fives in m ultiple and sometimes complex ways. And second, Spanish-speaking ta lk shows offer Mexican im m igrant women a safe space to bring out knowledge on th e ir own sexualities from the margin of silence to the center of attention and discussion in order to be explored, challenged, and renegotiated as a source of liberation.10 As bell hooks (1990) has asserted: M oving from silence to speech is for th e oppressed, th e colonized, the exploited, and those who stand and struggle side by side, a gesture of defiance th at heals, th a t makes new life, and new growth possible. It is th a t act of speech, of “talking back,” th a t is no m ere gesture of em pty w ords, th a t is th e expression of m oving from object to subject, th a t is th e liberated voice. (P. 340) Likewise, Ken Plum m er (1995) has examined th e telling of sexual stories and narrative (i.e., gay and lesbian personal experiences and women survivors of rape) as a sociological phenom enon th a t creates visibility, reaches public com m u n ities of discourse, facilitates the recreation of new spaces to dialogue (i.e., talk shows), and promotes emancipatory politics. In his own words: Moving out of a silence, th e stories helped shape a new public language, generating communities to receive and disseminate them on a global scale, ultim ately creating m ore and more spaces for them to be heard. All th is m u st be seen as political—as empowering. (P. 149) W hat are the sexual stories told by Mexican women with regard to talk shows and their sexualities? The im pact of Spanish-speaking talk shows on their sex fives goes from basic learning about sexuality and developing th e skills to provide an appropriate sex education as m others and grandm others to im portant changes in their sex fives and their sexual ideologies and behaviors. 248 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A. Social Rffalitv and SpYiialitv In general, ta lk shows or los programas offer women a safe space in which sexuality can be openly perceived and examined w ith th e ir repressive previous social contexts. Talk shows represented a forum on which sexuality issues could be openly addressed; they symbolized as a socially acceptable “eye opener” to the tru th w ith regard to taboos on sexuality. Salomd Tovar, Nora Ovalle, and Rosalia Silva clearly exemplified this dynamic while offering their personal opinions about talk shows: Well, she [Cristina] tries to open our eyes with regard to things that are hidden, things that m any times one does not dare to touch. For example, sometimes they have programas where they help people. Yes, for example, th a t whole thing about sex, we do not discuss it that much. A nd th a t is good because there is a lot o f rape over here but many times we do not talk about it, but she talks openly about it. (Salome Tovar) Yes, well... they are very open, they are. They open the doors to the truth. In other words, they talk about it appropriately, the way themes should be examined. Aha!, I like them. (Nora Ovalle) Well... they talk openly, they talk about it the way it is, th a fs w hat I like about it. They say things the way they are, it is not censured. T hat is what I like about it. (Rosalia Silva) Women perceived talk shows as an opportunity to learn about society and sexual life of Latinas and Latinos living in the United States. Talk shows are an opportunity to be indirectly exposed to new social contexts, to different people, and to distinct social behavior. These new social context are perceived and defined as “open” or morally relaxed and socially permissive in sexuality m atters when compared to previous social circumstances. As Em ilia Falcon expressed it: 249 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, more than anything, it [talk show] has enlightened me with regard to the aspect o f society here because here everything is based on the people who live here, to w hat extent they behave, the way they are, w hat they do, w hat they do not do, and how they do it. Even though in our countries it happens—and a lot—but simply, like I am telling you, they do not expose it to the public light because she is the aunt or the niece or the sister or w hat people are going to say about it, or that i f you are going out w ith that man or the other one or that you are a whore or whatever. In other words, it is the same situation, but here it is open and over there in our countries it is not. While some women acclaimed and celebrated ta lk shows for audaciously but appropriately addressing issues w ith regard to sexuality, some of them were critical of the same sexual openness. H om osexuality was one of th e topics th a t was consistently criticized in talk shows, especially El Show de Cristina.n Women from Jalisco—more then th e ir counterparts from Mexico City—w ere m ore likely to be critical of C ristina for producing and hosting shows on h o m o s e x u a l i t y . 12 T his finding is consistent w ith my previous discussion in chapter # 3 on how larger social spaces (i.e., th e city) reproduce less restrictive sexual m oralities th an smaller geographical contexts (i.e., the small town). Accordingly, these women’s responses m ight indicate a greater tolerance tow ard homosexuality in the larger city and a tendency tow ard homophobic ideologies in sm aller or more traditional cities or towns. Lorena M arquez, Tom asita Uribe, Belen Carrera, Amparo B arcenas, and D eyanira Estevez described this tendency as they express th e ir personal opinions about the them es discussed in talk shows: I do not know... I think it is kind o f immoral... like something very immoral they are talking about. I do not know... I don’t like it and sometimes when they have women w ith women and m en w ith men, I th in k th a t is som ething horrible, like reproachable in a way that it should not be on television, that is m y opinion. (Lorena Marquez) 2 5 0 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I watch them because there is nothing else for me to watch b u t I do not allow my children to watch it. First, because they had homosexuals a n d I think th a t those T V shows should n o t be made. (Tomasita Uribe) Look, in the first place I do not watch Sevcec but Cristina. I do not know why she always seems to boast or to be supportive o f homosexuals, I do not know why. Quite often they have show s on gays because she defends them a n d supports them. (Belen Carrera) There are some shows that I like b u t there are others th a t I do not, like those on homosexuals, I do not like them. B u t i f it is about women or their partners I like them, because that is when you really learn. (Amparo Barcenas) I do not have anything against homosexuals but I think they have m any people o f those an d they are always ta lk in g vulgarities. (D eyanira Estevez) B. Sp Yiial literacy Following a p arallel process to th e one women experienced after attending las platicas, watching ta lk shows helped some of th ese women to become sexually literate. Learning about E l SIDA was identified by m any of th e women as one of th e m ost im portant them es discussed in ta lk shows. In addition, being exposed to information about AIDS helped them to acquire new inform ation on sexuality, sex-related language, sexual practices, and self-care issues and sexual health. Romelia Sanchez, Xochitl Arteaga, an d F ernanda Galindo describe these issues as central as th ey explain the inform ation they have learned from talk shows: From los programas I have learned about sexuality and more than anything it has demonstrated the importance o f El SIDA as a problem or m any problems. I f s like I did not know before w hat a hom osexual was or w h a t a heterosexual was, or m asturbation, a n d all that, an d I learned it form there. (Romelia S&nchez) 251 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Yes, I have learned with regard to E l SIDA because before I used to think that you would get it w ith a kiss, you transm it it with the saliva, and when there is contact and all that. So I used to think that it was also transm itted that way. A nd right there is when I learned th a t in real life is not th a t way. (Xbchitl Arteaga) I like it when Cristina m akes sus programas. For example, when they talk about how to take care o f yourself, w hat you are supposed to do and w hat you have to use if you are going to have a sexual relation, both men and women, the diseases you might get. For example, now th a t E l SIDA is on fashion, or the many venereal diseases we have out there, for both men and women. (Fernanda Galindo) Becoming sexually literate also m eant learning about the best ways to educate a child in term s of sex education. Thirty percent of the women in the study expressed w ith great excitem ent how talk shows provided them with the necessary inform ation to give an appropriate sex education to their children and sometimes to their grandchildren. As Yadira Velez, Felicia Gomez, Salome Tovar, and Irasem a Quiroga expressed: They [talk shows] give you... well, many times one does not know how to explain it to them, and one gets kind o f an idea of how to do it. (Yadira Velez) To me it is good because television helps me as a parent to know how to explain things to m y children with regard to sex. For me, as a parent, its very difficult to explain it [sex] to the children. (Felicia Gbmez) Well, el programs is good so I can be able to teach my grandchildren now because I cannot teach m y children anymore. B u t they are good to teach a little bit more to the grandchildren so they take care o f themselves much better and aU that. (Salome Tovar) Like with regard to drugs, they talk about your children, and I have liked that. Also about sex because it teaches you a lot whether you want it or not, there is always something you learn from all that. (Irasema Quiroga) 252 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Some women use ta lk shows and their discussions on sexuality as tools th a t facilitate com m u n ication w ith their children on sexuality related topics. Y ad ira Velez explained how she would tak e advantage of ta lk shows’ discussions of teenage pregnancy to involve her children, w atch it w ith them, an d have im portant conversations w ith them about sexuality. As she described her interest in watching talk shows, she explained: I like to watch them. I like to watch them w ith my daughter too and with my son. Some time ago they talked about pregnant girls, girls who are 13,14, and I like to see it with them so they become aware o f it. A n d I tell my daughter about it so she realizes that it is not easy, ju st they way they say right there. They said that it was not easy to end up having a baby, it would not be the sam e. A n d that is w h a t I do to m ake them understand. B u t yes, I like to watch them. Similarly, V ictoria Yanez took advantage of a difficult topic about sex w hen it was discussed on a ta lk show. She said she invited h er adolescent daughter to watch w ith her a talk show on Latina teen pregnancy and then she was able to further address and explore the issue w ith her. Well, I think it is good, it is very good. I like that T V show very much because when one does not dare to talk about it, when I do not dare to say something to my daughter, w hat I would like to talk with her, I tell her, “ Look, come so you watch this program,” and they say it right there. C . S r ct«1 Liberation Revealing stories were told to me about the complex web of interactions th a t are created from w atching talk shows and their subsequent im pact on the sex lives of these women. One of the most fascinating stories comes from two women Amparo Barcenas and Emilia Falcon, from Jalisco and Mexico City, respectively. Amparo Barcenas, a 45 year old mother of five children, bora and raised in Jalisco, came to Los Angeles a t age 20. Amparo’ s story reveals the multiple 253 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. levels w ith w hich ta lk shows in tera ct w ith M exican im m igrant women’s sexualities. Similarly to w h at Yadira Velez would do w ith h e r children, Amparo would take advantage of E l Show de Cristina to provoke a conversation w ith her husband about her sexual difficulties dining her sexual encounters w ith him. He has changed because I have seen los programas de Cristina and sometimes I have him seated right there and I tell him, a Stay right there!” [laughs]. I used to feel very embarrassed, in other words, I never told him about my problem, I d id not tell him about it. I, you know..., and I have seen it in El Show de Cristina, ..J faked it. Som e people have talked about it... women. A nd I faked my orgasms and all that, I faked it to make him feel that I was satisfied because I felt embarrassed with him, but not anymore. The sexual experiences openly discussed by C ristin a’s guest helped Amparo address with her husband h er lack of sexual satisfaction during their sexual encounters. Amparo explained to a great detail how th e sexual stories shared by some of these women helped her to identify some of her own sexual difficulties and facilitated m eaningful discussions w ith h er husband about it and ultim ately created positive changes in her sex life. Amparo explained how El Show de Cristina helped h er to become aware of her own sexual oppression as a woman. As a consequence, Amparo ultim ately undertook im portant sexuality transitions: 1) she claimed her right to experience sexual or erotic pleasure; 2) she redefined th e sexual politics of her heterosexual encounters from a gender and sexual equality perspective; and 3) she explored ways in which she can contest oppressive sexual practices. As Amparo examined the feelings she experienced while faking her orgasms, she elaborated the ways in which she felt sexually objectified and later on how C ristina helped her to become aware of and resist h er oppression. As she explained for me: 254 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Like that, I fe lt like that, like this man is only using me. A nd he saw me th a t I was sexually satisfied because I saw him that he believed th a t I was, but I realized that I was nothing but serving that man. A n d the whole thing should not be that way, I saw it in El Show de Cristina. I have learned th a t the whole thing should involve both o f us. When he wants to have sex with me now, I tell him , “ I f we are going to have sex, yes, but both o f us, if not, you go and look for someone else because I do not do it that way.” L ater during our conversation, Amparo quoted herself while sharing with me some of the lines she h as learned from E l Show de Cristina while exploring new w ays to find erotic and sexual pleasure in her sexual encounters w ith h er husband. “Look, I like it for you to do this to me, this m akes me feel veiy good,” Amparo stated as she explained the new avenues she is exploring to identify her own sexual feelings while becoming sexually assertive. E vidently, A m paro experienced a profound process of sex u ality transform ation. H er testim ony exposes immig ra n t women’ s sexualities as com plex and dynam ic processes taking place as p a rt of m ultiple social interactions. Following a parallel process to the one experienced by Amparo, other women expressed th e potential em ancipatory im pact of ta lk shows on women’ s sex lives. Em ilia Falcon, from Mexico City, passionately talked about how ta lk shows have offered a space to examine th e ways in which a woman’s sexuality is socially perceived and defined. W hen I asked her th e question, “W ith regard to sex, w hat have you learned from ta lk shows like C ristina and Sevcec?” she replied: In particular, well... the most I have learned is that the woman has the same right a man has to have or to dem and her own sexual satisfaction. Thai’ s what I have learned, that you can also demand w hat you want and to say “ I do not like this, I like this, or I w ant this or like this.” To p u t it simple, you can give yourself a greater value as a woman, to know more about your rights. 255 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Sim ilarly to Amparo, talk shows have offered Em ilia Falcon powerful lessons on women’ s sexual rights. This new knowledge strengthened Emilia’s gender consciousness th a t she h a d sim ultaneously explored in her conversations w ith her Latina im m igrant M ends. She sarcastically challenged the social context of gender inequality in which heterosexual encounters happen in patriarchal societies like Mexico. She condemned Mexican society w ith regard to women’s social condition as she reflected on h er own family history and life in her com m unity to illustrate her understanding of women’s oppression. As she kept elaborating on w hat she has learned after watching talk shows, she added: Well... basically what I have learned here, and what I felt, is like the woman imposes her willpower more, in Mexico it is not that way. In Mexico we are not good enough but for washing the dishes, taking care o f the children, and th a fs it! I f your husband gets home a t 10:00 or 11:00 at night and he is drunk or whatever condition he is in when he gets home, he starts shouting you down or hitting you, and thafs i t ! In other words, the woman..., might not be th a t way anymore, but always, at least in my entire fam ily, w h a t I saw in my fam ily and my surroundings..., my aunts an d their daughters, a n d my neighbors as well, that is the way it was. Emilia exposes how female oppression and machismo are connected and m utually reproduced by the prom otion of traditional roles and values in Mexican women’ s daily lives and experiences. Being objectified, oppressed, and socially devalued is clearly understood by women like Amparo and Emilia as they unm ask the social context of sexual dictatorship in which the majority of Mexican women are very likely to experience their sex lives. The sexuality transitions both women experience illustrate the complex web of interactions between the inform ation on sexuality openly discussed in ta lk shows and Mexican im m ig ran t women’ s sex fives. 256 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. The sexual stories told by Amparo and Em ilia were quite revealing and intense. N ot as intense b u t equally meaningful, other women shared some of the em ancipatory impact of ta lk shows on th eir sex lives. Lolita Iglesias, from Mexico City, talks about th e ways in which she has questioned previously learned information on sex as she has been watching talk shows. So, I have changed here in the United States. I remember that in Mexico they told me that one should make love underneath the sheets and now I see m any people in those talk shows where they talk about sex and say th a t one has to be more open, it does not have to be underneath the sheets, you can make love in the kitchen, or you can do it wherever you want, and that is not bad. O ther women w ent beyond the bed sheets to explain how ta lk shows have helped them to feel more comfortable while exposing a naked body in front of a husband. As Yadira Velez experienced after attending las platicas, V ictoria Yanez explained how she g radually learned to become m ore desenvuelta (free, open) while changing clothes in front of her husband after watching E l Show de Cristina. W hen I asked her the question, “After watching Cristina or M aria Laria, have you changed the way in which you see sex or th e way you behave sexually?” Victoria replied: Yes, I have changed a lot because before... oh my God! I did not even want to get undressed in front o f him. Well... but that is the way I used to be before, because, now, after seeing these talk shows..., yes, I still feel kind o f embarrassed but I feel like everything is more natural. So, I th in k now I am more desenvuelta. Both Yadira’ s and V ictoria’s associations between sexual behavior an d feeling more comfortable while getting undressed in front of their respective husbands reflect the com plexities of w h at it m eans to be fem ale a n d heterosexual for a Mexican woman. My question to them w ith regard to potential changes in their sexual behavior (after attending platicas or listening 257 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. to ta lk shows) triggered a response about a woman changing clothes and exposing her body to a husband as a behavior possessing a sexual connotation. Other women redefined their perceptions of virginity and sexual morality after listening to ta lk shows. Irene Juarez, for example, talked about the ways in which Sevcec’s ta lk show has helped h er to learn more about alternative ways of looking a t th e connection between love and women’ s sexuality. As she stated: Well, I love Sevcec’ s talk shows an d I like very much the shows he presents because I say that I have learned that when you love someone it does not matter i f you have sex before you g et married O ther women defined and perceived talk shows as opportunities to explore sexual practices beyond w hat is socially defined as th e norm. Some of them w ere im pacted a t th e level of th e inform ation th ey have now about sexuality; others w ere impacted in th eir actual sexual behavior. In one case, E rendira Fuentes, from Jalisco, talked about how los programas have offered her exposure to inform ation on sexual practices beyond w hat is considered as normative by religion. To me, they [talk shows] are fine because they inform people. I have learned a lot from these programas. I have perhaps learned m any things that I did not even imagine with regard to sexual practices. Such a s ... Like... I did know about homosexuals, lesbians, and ... about sexual relations. In other words that it is normal. B u t through these programas I have learned more about things that go out o f what you could say is the normal thing to do or w hat religion teaches you. In another case, Xochitl A rteaga talked about how h e r sexual curiosity has been stim ulated by ta lk shows and ultim ately how it has helped her to explore anal sex as a new sexual practice. W hen I asked h e r th e question, 258 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. “H ave th e se programas influenced your ideas about sex or your sexual behavior?,” she replied: I think that when I see all those things I start..., well... to see i f it is true. Also, besides one o f the things that... [long silence] O ne of the things that... One o f the things about the positions, i f like this or like that or on the back. Like for example, they say th a t anal sex did not h u rt and I said is it true? So, now that I am married... we too [nervous laugh]. So, I said, well, I will see i f it is true, and that was one o f the things that I said, well, i f they say it there, I will see..., you know, about people who have talked about anal sex. A n d I say, “ Well, lefs see i f it is true.” A n d that was one o f the things that I tried. D. Beyond Talk Shows and Sex I have received information but they have not changed m e W atching talk shows followed a parallel process to the one women exposed afte r attending las platicas: the sexuality transform ations th ey experienced did not follow a linear trajectory and th ey did not affect all women in th e sam e way. The women who watched ta lk shows like Soledad Torres, Gabriela H urtado, Olga Ponce, to m ention a few, are agents who selectively sifted th ro u g h th e inform ation th e y were exposed to on sexuality. For instance, some of them said to be exposed to new inform ation but th a t they rem ained unaffected by it. No, honestly in those programas I have received information but they have not changed me. (Soledad Torres) Well, I do not think so, ifs ju s t more information that you get about many themes. (Gabriela Hurtado) Sexually speaking no, no way. (Trinidad Urbina) Based on their personal sexual morality, others were discrim inating between th e shows th at they liked and those th at th ey did not. 259 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I like them because they educate you, every day you learn more, even though sometimes I do not agree, sometimes it is too open (Gabriela Hurtado) It is basically the information they give you, two or three that I have seen th a t are good, and the rest are completely stupid. (Olga Ponce) Some severely criticized talk shows, complaining th a t th ey are poor sources of inform ation on sexuality or considered them uninteresting and boring. I have seen pieces o f it but I do not like it. The few times I have seen it, I feel like it does not have anything to offer to me. I do not think they are educational a t all. Perhaps I have not analyzed them but to this day, well, I do not like them. (Oralia Pacheco) To tell you the truth, they do not give an answ er to your questions. (Deyanira Estevez) I do not believe I can learn from these programas. I t is very monotonous, and to say, “ AyI, its because I saw it on Cristina and I started to think about i t ! ” No, I do n o t believe so! (Zenaida Aleman) And finally, one woman said she was not interested in watching talk shows because she already knows everything about sex. Well, I am not interested because about sex... well, because I know everything about it. (M argarita Nunez) In sum, being exposed to las platicas sobre la sexualidad and talk shows in Spanish interacted w ith the sex lives of th e women in the study in multiple ways and at various levels. Even though each one takes place a t contrasting social scenarios—las platicas usually happen outside in th e community and talk shows are seen in th e privacy of a home—both exposed sim ilar dynamics: They represent meaningful sources of information th a t have the potential to provide powerful tools for sexual liberation. 2 6 0 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. They offer sources to become sexually literate as women and as concerned m others w ith regard to the sex education th a t can be offered to children and grandchildren. They have a potential impact on th e actual sexual behavior of women. In addition, both las platicas and talk shows expose their vulnerable nature: w om en a re s o c ia l a g e n ts w ho s c r u tin iz e d th e content received while being critical, selecting, or rejecting th e information th a t on sexuality they receive through these means. Conclusion In th is chapter, I have analyzed the sexuality transform ations Mexican women experience w ithin their im m igran t com m unitie s. Beyond the confines of m ain stream society, M exican women actively estab lish an im m igrant women’ s com m unity and culture w here conversations and discussions among themselves about sex become p art of their every day life experience as women. W ithin these im m igrant com m unitie s, Mexican women participate in creating transform ations in their sex lives w ithin three cen tral social dimensions: netw orking, sex education presentations or platicas sobre sexualidad, and Spanish-speaking ta lk shows. Five central dynam ics prom oting sexuality tran sitio n s tak e place w ithin th e se dim ensions. F irs t, women utilize netw orking w ithin their Latino/M exican im m ig ran t an d m u lticu ltu ral com m u n itie s as a source of social support in order to explore solutions to th eir sexual difficulties and concerns. Second, networking also serves as a social mechanism through which women educate each other w ith regard to sexuality while questioning and redefining th e ir sexual moralities, ideologies, and actual sexual behaviors. Third, via netw orking, wom en experience sexuality transform ations th a t system atically promote or challenge th e ir sexual oppression as women. On one hand, women m ay sh are sexual inform ation 261 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. th a t facilitates th eir sexual emancipation as women. On th e other hand, they expose themselves to th e internalized sexism prom oted by their confidants. T h at is, women m ay construct social m echanism s w ith which to ju d g e and condemn other M exican women. At its best, th ey improve the quality of th eir own sex lives and th e one of th eir future generations. A t its worst, in th eir interactions with other immig ran t women, th ey promote socially learned sexist ideologies and practices. Fourth, women experience transform ations in th eir sex lives as a consequence of th e ir involvem ent and/or exposure to sex education presentations or platicas sobre sexualidad and Spanish-speaking ta lk shows. B oth social dim ensions have th e p o ten tial to fa cilita te transform ations in th e sexual morality, ideology, an d behavior of M exican im m igrant women. T hey rep resen t sources of inform ation th a t provide M exican women w ith powerful m eans for sexual liberation. They also help them to become sexually literate which offers them th e resources to provide an appropriate sex education to th eir children and grandchildren. And fifth, as wom en are exposed to netw orking, sex education presentations, a n d ta lk shows, they are active social agents who selectively analyze the inform ation th e y receive while deciding to incorporate or reject such inform ation. B ut Mexican women are active social agents beyond networking, las platicas sobre sexualidad, and Spanish-speaking talk shows. In m y next chapter, I exam ine how Mexican women, as active social agents perceive and redefine Catholic ecclesiastical m orality regulations with regard to women’ s sexuality. NOTES 1. See Massey, Douglas, Rafael Alarc6n. Jorge Durand, y Humberto Gonzdlez, 1991, Los ausentes. El proceso social de la migracion intemacional en el occidente de Mexico. Mexico: Editorial Alianza. Chavez, Leo. 1992. Shadow ed Lives: Undocum ented Immigrdnts in Am erican Society. Forth Worth: Hartcourt Brace. Hondagneu Sotelo, Pierrette, 1994, G endered Transitions: Mexican Experiences of Immigration. Berkeley: University of California Press. W oo, Ofelia, 1997, La m igracidn de las mujeres mexicanas hacia Estados Unidos. Doctoral Dissertation, Universidad d e Guadalajara, Mexico. 262 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 2. S ee Ricardo C. Ainslie's article ‘ Cultural Mourning, Immigration, and Engagement: Vignettes from the Mexican Experience," in Marcelo M. Suarez-Orozco (ed), (1998) Crossings: Mexican Immigration in Interdisciplinary Perspectives, pp. 285- 305, Cambridge: Harvard University, David Rockefeller Center for Latin American Studies. Ainslie offers a culturally- and socially-contextualized psychological analysis of the cultural loss and grief experienced by Mexican immigrants and their corresponding psychological survival mechanisms. He argues that ‘immigrants m ake use of linking objects and linking processes to help sustain the sense of connection to the lost worlds, a connections that is essential to th e m aintenance of one's psychological equilibrium" (p. 297). For the women in this study, networking plays this linking role with regard to their sex lives. 3. The co n cep t of internalization has b een utilized by African American feminist scholars in the fields of sociology and mental health. In her book Black Feminist Thought, feminist sociologist Patricia H ill Collins (1991) explains the many ways in which African American women internalize the oppressive and devalued im ages that society has created about themselves as Black wom en. Collins cites Toni Morrison's novel The Bluest Eye (1970) to analyze how an “ ugly' eleven-year-old Black girl ... internalizes the denigrated im ages of African-American women and believes that the a b sen ce of blue eyes is central to her 'ugliness'" (p. 83). See Patricia H ill Collins (1991) Black Feminist Thought New York: Routledge. Similarly, feminist psychologist Beverly G reene (1994) utilizes the term ‘internalized racism" to exam ine African American w om en's lives. Greene argues that internalized racism ‘is observed in African American wom en when they internalize both the n egative stereotypes about African Americans and their cultural origins and the idealization of White persons and their cultural imperatives, negatively affecting their sense of self" (p. 20). I utilize the co n cep t of ‘internalized sexism" b ased on Greene's exam inations of racism in the life of African American wom en. See Greene, Beverly (1994) African American Women in Comas-Diaz, L illian and Beverly Greene, Women o f Color: Integrating Ethnic and G ender Identities in Psychotherapy, pp. 10-29, New York: The Guilford Press. 4. Out of the 40 study participants, 17 w om en (42.5%) said they h ave been exposed to and influenced in their sex lives by las pldtlcas sobre la sexualidad they attended a t many of these institutions. A secon d group of 8 wom en (20%) said they had attended these presentations but other than learning new information, they said they have not been influenced in any w ay by the experience. And a third group of 15 wom en (37.5%) said they have never atten ded any presentations on sexuality. Since most of the study participants where identified at clinics and schools where las platicas are offered, these figures are a con seq u en ce of the selection process of my sample. Las pldticas and los programas d e planeacidn familiar are a com m on practice in Mexico. During the last two d e c a d e s, public and private organizations have promoted health workshops designed to promote family planning (Rodrfguez. Corona, and Pick, 1996:355; Gutmann, 1996:93). Las pldticas offered at som e of the community-based a g en cies and schools where I identified my informants include discussions on sex ed u cation aim ed at empowering women with regard to personal control and ownership of their sexuality, and their bodies. HIV/AIDS education is also an important topic at these workshops. 5. The four-volume collection El dibum de la mujer: antologia ilustrada de las mexicanas by Tunon Pablos, Tostado Gutierrez. Tunbn, and Rocha (1991) is one of the finest a c a d e m ic examinations of Mexican w om en's daily lives within many social contexts an d throughout Mexican history. This publication exposes how machista ideologies have historically and systematically oppressed Mexican women. Volume I I I , p a g e 56 in this publication highlights o n e of m achism o's basic paradigm s: "E s indispensable que la autoridad del hom bre continue tanto com o la inferioridad respectiva de la mujer, la cual d eb e ser eterna com o la naturaleza.' Translation: ‘It is indispensable for the man's authority to b e maintained as well as the corresponding inferiority of the woman which should b e eternal as nature." 6. I use both terms ‘sexually literate" and ‘sexual literacy" to refer to well-informed education on human sexuality. I h a v e ad op ted these terms from the 1990 publication 263 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. “The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex" by June M. Reinisch and Ruth Beasley, New York: St. Martin's Press. 7. Univision is the oldest Spanish speaking broadcasting station in th e United States; followed by Telemundo which celebrated its 10th anniversary in 1997. 8. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is th e nation's lesbian and gay news bureau and the only national and lesbian and g a y multimedia w atchdog organization. GLAAD promotes fair, accurate, and inclusive representation as m eans of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. Cristina Saralegui has received numerous distinctions. She w as listed as on e of Hispanic Business's “100 Influential" in 1992; she was nam ed o n e of the “Legendary W omen of Miami." Cristina also received the Corporate Leader Award from the National Network of Hispanic Women, and has addressed organizations ranging from Women in Communications to the Union of American Women of Puerto Rico. Cristina, as a celebrity in Spanish speaking media, has b een awarded the keys to many cities in th e United States an d Latin America and has participated as Grand Marshall at important national parades (Telgen and Kamp, 1996). 9. Conservative social groups in Mexico were successful in their attem pts to have Cristina m oved from its original 4:00 p.m. time slot to 11:00 p.m., when many viewers h a v e g o n e to bed. Mexican television in general is subjected to strict censure. Historically, in Mexico, extremely explicit programming (either sexual or political) is automatically taken off the air (Riding, 1985). T.V. news are subjected to censure and programs discussing certain social themes are aired near to midnight (Riding, 1985). 10. Sonia Livingstone and Peter Lunt (1994) utilize the term “ social space" to identify the sp a c e that is created and m ediated by the m edia to create talk shows. Both authors refer to Habermas (1989) to argue that in contemporary society there is no sp a c e for the developm ent and expression of critical consensus. 11. Cristina was severely criticized for hosting a same-sex marriage cerem ony in one of her shows. During an interview with Don Francisco in 1998, she talked about this “ T V scandal" while stating her interest in promoting m onogam y in the hom osexual Latino community as a way to protect its members from getting infected with HIV/AIDS. 12. Eight w om en in th e study cen su red Cristina for discussing issues on homosexuality. Six of these wom en were from Jalisco, the other two were from Mexico City. Interestingly, hom ophobic attitudes were reported by De la Pena and Toledo (1991) in their study with a total of 613 women and men living in Mexico City: only 10% them a c c e p te d hom osexuality as normal, the overwhelming majority perceived homosexuality as enferm edad (disease, illness) (p. 22). 264 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 6 Confesiones de mujer: Religion, the Church, and Sacred Morality “The pope says th a t el metodo natural is th e only w ay to prevent pregnancy b u t th a t is impossible!,” vigorously stated Xochitl Arteaga, a 34- year-old housewife who has lived in Los Angeles for m ore th a n nine years. Then, she continued, “As a woman, you have to look for different ways to avoid getting pregnant. So, the Church has to change, the pope has no idea of what a woman has to go through. Then, he is against abortion too!, can you imagine? I would have 10 children by now!” Xochitl proudly identified herself as a highly committed catolica while recalling h er personal experiences as a dynamic member of th e Catholic organization E l Movimiento F am iliar Cristiano (The Christian Fam ily Movement) in h er native townin Jalisco. She also worked for m any years as a n active cursillista teaching workshops organized by her local parish. No doubt, th e Catholic C hurch is a powerful source of sexual oppression and control over the sex lives of M exican women. However, as illustrated by Xochitl, co n trary to a biased m isrepresentation of M exican women as abnegadas y sum isas (self-sacrificing and submissive), M exican im m igrant women are active social agents who contest, resist, and redefine Catholic moral prescriptions from their own sexual experiences as heterosexual women. In this study, th e overwhelming m ajority of the women (80%) identified the 265 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m oral ideals promoted b y th e Church w ith regard to women’s sexuality as u n realistic and highly antagonistic to cen tral aspects of th e ir daily life experiences and their social reality as heterosexual women. Accordingly, they passionately supported an d praised em ancipatory and progressive changes w ithin the religious institution w ith regard to ideologies on women and sexual m orality. In th is c h a p te r, I exam ine th e in te rse c tio n “C atholic C hurch—religion—sacred m orality—women’s sexuality” through th e eyes and from th e real sex life experiences of Mexican im m igrant women. For this group of heterosexual mexicanas raised in the Catholic faith, th e interconnection between sex life and religion is experienced based on the following dynamics: Women not only become aware of the patriarchal nature of the Catholic Church as an institution but perceive it as morally incompetent to regulate women*s sexuality. T hey perceive the ecclesiastical organization as morally fractured and deteriorated w hile questioning and condemning ethical contradictions and hypocrisies they have observed w ithin th e system including priests sexually abusing children and th e reproduction of im ages of heterosexualized and hypersexualized priests (i.e., p riests being m arried or having lovers). Women who are aware of the gender oppression and contradictions prom oted by regressive sexual moralities and ideologies do not automatically walk away from the Church nor stop exercising their faith, rituals, and religious practices. They reconcile both th eir Catholic faith and their own private sexual beliefs and practices by following two central patterns: a) They EITHER integrate both sexuality m atters and religious teachings by establishing a clearly polarized d u ality : “sex/sexuality/the body” versus “religion/the Church/the sp irit.” Both are sep arate and independent entities th a t belong in two different, divided, and m utually exclusive social spheres and/or personal dim ensions in a wom an’s life. S ex is a private m atter; and religion is a spiritual, not a public affair. OR, 266 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. b) They ex h ib it p erso n al agency b y allow ing themselves to make personal decisions while discrim inately selecting, incorporating, an d reconciling into th e ir sex lives only specific morality teachings based on the convenience or appropriateness according to their own personal life styles and social realities. Thus, Mexican women’s personal and individual ways of experiencing their heterosexuality as Catholic women acknowledges the existence o f multiple Mexicana heterosexualities. W hat M exican im m igrant women report they do in their personal sex lives w ith regard to Catholic sexual m orality is based on each woman’s critical adaptations of these m oral principles into her individual and unique experiences as a heterosexual woman. In this way, women socially construct emancipatory sexual moralities as they claim their rights to control their own sexuality including their reproductive rights. Mexican women, as a subordinate social group, mediate Catholic teachings on sexual morality based on their personal subjectivities emerging from their standpoint as women. T hat is, their individual judgm ent w ith regard to sexual m orality is determined from “within” in connection w ith their everyday and real life sexual and social situations and/or circumstances. And finally, for women em bracing progressive changes w ithin the Church, em ancipation does not necessarily tran slate into promoting a pro- choice mentality. Abortion rem ains a highly controversial and critical them e for this group of Mexicanas w ith regard to the way they perceive their sexual and reproductive rights and moral obligations as women. I. Sexuality and Catholicism in Mexico “Despite the official separation of church and state th a t has existed in Mexico since 1917, the Church has always been a powerful player in Mexican politics, especially where sexuality is concerned,” asserts leading fem inist Mexican scholar M arta Lamas in h er 1998 article “Scenes from a M exican Battlefield”. As M arta Lamas, m any Latin American scholars have examined 267 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. the ways in which the regulation of Mexican women’s sexuality was originally established and later on regulated by th e Catholic Church. This dynamic goes back in tim e to th e birth of el mestizaje in Mexico and th e aggressive estab lish m en t of colonial L atin A m erica. A chaotic sexual m o rality characterized the violent conquest period (early 1500s) and subjected N ative Mexican wom en to institutionalized forms of sexual tyranny: Spanish m en cohabitated w ith indigenous women who were voluntarily offered by th e indigenous m en or appropriated by force.1 Sexual violence (rape and sexual assaults) ag ain st indigenous w om en functioned as an in stitu tio n alized mechanism for ensuring subordination and compliance in the recently occupied areas in Mexico during the early 1500s (Meza, 1988). This type of oppressive practices ag ain st Native M exican women was strategically utilized by los conquistadores later on during the Spanish conquest of California in th e mid- 1700s (C astaneda, 1993).2 Beyond th e w ell-docum ented early sex u al oppression suffered by Native M exican women as a social group, L atin American scholars have also examined th e Catholic Church’ s intense desire to annihilate any previous sexual practices and regulations existent in N ative Mexican ethnic groups through the aggressive imposition of its sexual m orality characterized by guilt and punishm ent (Marcos, 1989).3 In spite of th e complex, changing, and a t tim es paradoxical state- Church relationship throughout M exican history, both th e state and th e ecclesiastical institution had shared common interests in regulating sexuality and sexual practices since early colonial years to th e present day in a predom inantly Catholic nation.4 For instance, Lam as (1998) offers a clear understanding of the regressive n atu re of the Catholic Church’ s sexual politics in contemporary Mexican society. She explains the Catholic Church’s m oral alliance w ith conservative political institutions (mainly the right-wing Parfido 268 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. de Action N ational or PAN) and other institutions under its control (National P aren t Association, N ational Pro-Life Committee, and religious associations such as the Opus Dei, th e Legionnaires of Christ, the Knigh ts of Columbus, etc.). Accordingly, these Catholic groups promote all th e family-values based, sexist, anti-abortion, an d homophobic ideologies established by th e Catholic Church which receive th e political and economic support of all conservative sectors in society.5 As if this were not oppressive enough, Catholic Church representatives a t higher hierarchical levels openly promote misinformed sex education. For example, the Prim ate Archbishop of Mexico, Norberto Rivera, recently stated during a mass in the Mexico City cathedral th a t condom use was “harm ful to one’s health and ought to carry explicit w arning like cigarettes and alcohol.” L am as’ words accurately describe th e c u rre n t state of th e Catholic Church in Mexico: “... the explicit and implicit rules about sexuality stink of the nineteenth century. ”6 On th e other hand, th e firm ly established fem inist m ovem ent in Mexico struggles for m any causes including th e decriminalization of abortion, the promotion of an em ancipatory sex education, th e respect for sexual diversity, and th e elim ination of double m orality standards th a t oppress women.? n. Feminism, the Church, and the Sexual Liberation of Latinas In spite of th e th reaten in g influence of th e C hurch w ith regard to sexuality m atters, in te rn a l divisions w ithin th e C atholic C hurch have challenged th is negative and regressive perception on wom en’s sexuality. Fem inist, theology em erged as a critique to the androcentric or male-centered thought and patriarch al structures w ithin the Catholic church. Fem inist theology was created n o t only to u n d erstan d the C h ristian tradition b u t to liberate C h ristian theologies, symbols an d in stitu tio n s from w hat has stim ulated and p erpetuated violence, alienation, and oppression against 269 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w o m e n .8 In particular, L atin American fem inist theologians have played an influential role to address th e importance of L atina women’s sexuality as a source of liberation. In th e article “Women and the Theology o f Liberation” (1989), A na M aria B idegain calls for a need to review the puritanical conception of sexuality as th e ideological foundation of the patriarch al m entality on which all sexist oppres sion is based in both th e Church and Latin A m erican society. T h at is, sexuality as linked to tem ptation and sin, and women and sexuality perceived as synonymous. 9 Similarly, Ada M aria Isasi- Dfaz (1996) proposes a.Mujerista Theology in the U nited States. Mujerismo is a group of Latina theologians who work from a religious perspective for the liberation of L atina women living in th e U SA The first task of mujerista theology is to enable L atinas to understand the m any oppressive structures (i.e. sexual oppression) th a t strongly influence th eir lives. According to Isasi- Diaz, radical changes m u st happen in society for th e liberation of U.S. L atina women in every single aspect of their lives. In Our Cry for Life: Fem inist Theology from Latin America, M aria Pilar Aquino (1993), an o th er influential L atin A m erican fem inist theologian, condemns Christian m orality, “machista cultures” and societies for repressing women’s sexuality and associating women’s sexual identity with guilt and sacrifice rather th an a source of hum an fulfillment and liberation. In Aquino’ s own words: In Latin Am erica women are evincing deep dissatisfaction w ith the social, political, cultural, and religious forms th a t have confined th eir sexual lives, both in the biological and the emotional sphere and in their gender identity, (p. 99). Aquino is concerned about th e “taken for granted” rights of husbands or p a rtn e rs to use th e ir w om en’s bodies. W om en a re physically and psychologically ill because it is taken for granted th a t the husband or partner 270 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. is entitled to this right. Latina women are discovering that their sexuality is a fundam ental p art of hum an life and should not make them suffer violence and repression. However, women have to deal w ith guilt feelings resulting from the church’ s attitude to sexual relations as sinful. Aquino calls for a need to incorporate women’s experience of sexual oppression and liberation into their analysis of the L atin American reality. Parallel to th e im portant academic w ork by Bidegain, Isasi-Diaz, and Aquino, groups of M exican women involved in religious activities w ithin the Catholic church have openly expressed th eir concerns as women and sexual beings. A group of actively involved Catholic women (religious nuns, catechists, and secular women) made the Carta al Papa (Letter to th e Pope) public during the pope’s visit to Mexico in 1990. As part of this letter, this group of Mexican Catholic women address th eir progressive ideology to the pope while exam ining th e ir concerns as women with regard to sexuality m a tte rs (see th is te x t below).1 * ) However, N orth A m erican fem inist theologians’, liberation theologists’, L atin Am erican fem in is t liberation theologians’, and Catholic women’s groups’ petitions have not been able to challenge John Paul II and his infallibility as pope.1 1 Beyond these facts, ecclesiastical authorities have no absolute control over how religion an d sexual m orality are tru ly lived and experienced by M exican women in th e ir everyday sex lives.12 In this chapter, I explore potential answers to the following questions: W hat Catholic religious teachings on sex and morality do Mexicanas bring as p a rt of their sexuality luggage when they migrate to the U nited States? W hat do they report they do w ith it in their actual sex lives? Does th e Catholic C hurch have the impact it attem pts to have on Mexican women and their sex lives? Why? Why not? 271 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. HL Carta aI Papa: Letter to the Pope Jo h n Paul II In order to explore how the women in the study them selves perceive and judge th e influence of the C atholic C hurch on th e ir sexuality as Catholic women, I read th e sexuality section of the Carta a l Papa as p a rt of m y interviews. Specific questions w ith regard to their opinions and reactions about the letter and th e role of the Catholic Church on women’s sexuality and then- own sex lives w ere openly discussed. The women’s personal reactions to the Carta al Papa are examined in th is section. Theparagraph of the Carta al Papa was read inSpanish to my inform ants. This is my English translation of the text: It is about time that zue, as a Church, recognize sexuality as holy and divine. It is about time that we assume sexuality as -part o f God's gratitude, and o f those who m utually give themselves in freedom and generosity, not only to have children. It is about time to m editate and recognize that sexuality is holy and divine. It is about time that we, as Catholic women, recognize that God has granted us w ith a body which we should love and rescue because it is a transcendent part of us as persons and of our unity with God. It is urgent for the Vatican, bishops, and priests to act and think in a radically different manner, by allow ing themselves to be questioned by the experiential w orld o f women so they act according to the Plan of God. It is urgent for all o f you to consider us as adult persons, capable to possess our lives and our bodies so our options are trusted and respected, and the right to intimacy, to sexuality, in a responsible manner and in harmony with the values o f the Kingdom: in truth, in justice, in love, and in equality. Only in mutual respect, and with a recognition in plenitude o f everybody's rights as persons, will we be able to contribute to a humanity w ith no lim its and a 'life in abundance' (John, 10, 10). 13 272 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. The reactions offered by th e women in th e study tow ard th e Carta al Papa uncover m any of the complex dynam ics th a t go far beyond th e cult of virginity discussed in Chapter 2. The testim onies articulated by these women offer multiple interconnections between th e social reality of Catholic Church as an institution and th e ir representatives a t all hierarchical levels (i.e., the pope, priests, nuns), Catholic religious faith, sexual morality, and w h at women raised in the Catholic faith really do w ith these interactions w ith reg ard to their sex lives. Their responses unm ask the keen awareness developed by these women while being bom an d educated in predom inantly Catholic families. 14 Strikingly, th e ir responses expose th e progressive m en tality of th e se women: the overwhelming m ajority of the women in the study (80%) supported, praised, and joined th e women who addressed progressive changes w ithin the Catholic Church in the Carta al Papa. W hat are th e reasons behind such an enormous support tow ard th e idea of questioning and rebelling traditional moralities with regard to women’s sexuality? W hat are th e causes responsible for such an enthusiastic encouragem ent tow ard progressive changes w ithin the Catholic Church? IV. True Confessions: Beyond C assocks a n d Penitence ‘ W h at these women said was right! The tru th is th a t we, as women, are not free w ith regard to our bodies because th e Church p uts all these things inside our heads!,” passionately sta te d Rom elia Sanchez, a community organizer. Then, she added w ith a sarcastic tone of voice, “A nd if the Pope did not interfere th a t m uch, men would not be th a t machistas. Why? because there would be equality, and if we had equality, there would not be a problem. Hey!, w hat would happen to m en if we had a female pope? [laughs]” Romelia identified herself as a practicing Catholic and a faithful devotee of la Virgen de Guadalupe. 273 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Romelia’ s words best represent the most prevalent and consistent tone of th ese women’s reactions to the text. These women’s responses were passionate and emotional as they articulated their keen awareness w ith regard to gender oppression and th e multiple interconnections between religion, culture, machismo, gender relations, and women’s sexuality. Sim ilar to Romelia, Trinidad U rbina and Emilia Falcon from Mexico City, and Erendira F u en tes from Jalisco passionately elaborated th e ir sagacious gender aw areness w ith regard to sexism, the Church, and women’s rights to body ownership and control. For example, Trinidad Urbina, a college educated woman from Mexico City, reacted with great joy and vitality while celebrating the potential changes and progressive m entality proposed by the text. “W hat a beautiful letter!, /oye, que bien! (hey, th a t’s great!), I like it because th e letter offers a socially progressive m entality!,” Trinidad exclaimed w ith a glowing expression as I finished reading the text for her. Then, she expanded in order to clarify for me the differences between God, patriarchy, and the Church as an institution. As she expressed, What gets my attention is what they say about the woman being responsible for her body instead o f God, I would say instead o f granting responsibility to the husband because men are the ones who say the way we are supposed to behave. As we continued, Trinidad explained to me in great detail how not only Catholicism promoted oppressive regulations against women but how other religions followed sim ilar principles. She clarified again for me th a t beyond oppressive religious practices, patriarchy was responsible for the regulation of a woman’s body and her sexual behavior. As Trinidad explained, T have a neighbor who goes cxitwearing those dark colors andavefl, she ismusw^mcma andl feel so sorry for her~but who imposes th a t type of attire?Muslimreligion? No!,nobody but men!” 274 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. And finally, Em ilia Falc6n, also a college educated woman from Mexico City, validated h e r support and th e im portance of th e Carta al Papa by reacting with reserved diplomacy and poise. Emilia articulated h er cultural aw areness w ith regard to the m ultiple historical connections between the Catholic Church and gender oppression in Mexico and L atin America. As she eloquently stated, I think that is a result precisely from the culture th a t we have in Mexico. I think that is a very good letter, to m ake sure the woman wakes up and becomes aware o f her own values that she embraces as a woman. T hat letter was made based on the culture over there, because over there the woman is nothing but an object. A n d yes, the Church does not give you m uch freedom. I f you look a t it, all our Latin American culture is based on what Catholic religion is all about. Lastly, the four women who identified themselves as P rotestant during th e interview expressed an equally supportive reaction to the letter, is One of them , E rendira Fuentes was raised Catholic b u t became P ro testan t in Los Angeles as she atten d ed an A dventist C hurch a fte r m ig ratin g from Guadalajara. She expressed an enthusiastic reaction to th e letter w ith an exemplary statem ent. As she stated, To me its fineI that the truth! Before, what a woman learned was that she had to be resignada y sumisa (to resign oneself and be submissive), not to give an opinion, not to talk about it, not to have any rights, and th a t is not fair! We are hum an beings equal to men and we should have freedom in everything and in pleasure and the way they said it, to have the right to be in control o f it. The women in th e study w ent beyond an explicit aw areness of the patriarchal nature of the Church as an institution. M any of them expressed a critical opinion w hile exploring controversial them es such as th e Church’s m oral frailty and its double morality standard practices. Women addressing these issues perceived the ecclesiastical institution as a m orally damaged and 275 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w eakened organization. These women questioned th e sexual morality th a t is linked to th e ir own sexualities as Catholic w om en by challenging th e conspicuous inconsistencies betw een m orality ideals and real practices promoted by its authorities and representatives. Two central them es w ere addressed as controversial b y these women: The sexual abuse of children by priests; and, The reproduction of images of highly heterosexualized and hypersexualized priests. F irst, th e provoking them e of sexual abuse o f children by priests w as one of th e m ost powerful reasons for some of these women to repudiate th e moral competence of th e C hurch as an institution. W omen like Tom asita Uribe from Jalisco and Irasem a Quiroga from Mexico C ity addressed th is controversial issue w hile questioning th e m o ral a u th o rity of C hurch representatives on their sex lives as Catholic women. For example, Tom asita Uribe firm ly stated her rationale behind her critical attitude in this regard She denounced th e ab erran t n a tu re of these practices w hile rejecting w ith disapproval th e Catholic C h u r c h , is As she vigorously stated: I tru st priests and nuns, I respect them. However, I have met m any who lead you through a different path. L ike those priests who abuse children. So, I think, how a person who has done th a t type o f thing, is going to talk w ith you about sexuality?! H ow in the world are they going to tell you to preserve your virginity until you g et married?! Similarly, Irasem a Quiroga, from Mexico City, denounced parallel m oral inconsistencies on the C hurch’s p art and promoted progressive changes while expressing h er confusion an d m oral disappointm ent. As she stated h e r disenchantm ent: 276 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, all this is very controversial because they preach and teach you one thing and themselves do a different thingI Priests always... how can I say it?... they were like an idol for me, the best, like a role model. B u t then, all the things that you learn about w hat priests doI I f the Church looked a t sex w ith more freedom and as something natural, it would be better. And second, wom en passionately debated over th e legitim ate moral value of the Church’ s teachings by uncovering taboos on the sexual practices of highly heterosexualized and hypersexualized priests. W ith enthusiastic narrative, they discussed how some of th eir amigas (friends) and/or conocidas (acquaintances) h ad m aintained sexual relations and/or had children w ith priests in their small towns. These women reacted with mixed emotions. Some reflected w ith an attitude of compassion and understanding for las amigas, las conocidas, and the priests themselves while addressing a need for th e Catholic Church to modify th e ir sexual m oralities in order for heterosexual priests to enjoy a healthy sexual and m arital life. O ther women had a critical attitude while disapproving th ese priests’ behavior. All of them condemned these contradictions. All of them shared w ith an expressive and colorful tone of voice their voyeuristic pleasure as they n arrated th eir secret knowledge about what God’s representatives on earth were disgracefully doing. Interestingly, th e women who shared th eir testim onies around these issues were all from different sm all towns in Jalisco. Some of these towns where located w ithin geographical or regional areas significantly distant from each other. Women from Mexico City did not reveal this type of story which may be an indication th a t priests are more likely to be protected w hen they become invisible in bigger and safer geographical and social spaces. As discussed in chapters # 2 and 3, the social characteristics of large cities may allow women—and priests in this particular case— to be protected from rigid moralities and m oral prosecution. These women and priests exemplify the 277 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. social syndrome best know n in Mexican popular culture as “ pueblo chico, infiemogrande, (small town, big hell).” B eatriz Correa, C andelaria de la Rosa, Xochitl A rteaga, and Felicia Gomez shared w ith me m any of their interesting stories w ith great excitement while exploring in great detail all these sim ilar issues. Beatriz Correa, for instance, talked to me about h er close personal relationships w ith some priests as a catechist while still living in her small town. As she continued, Beatriz recalled w ith a nostalgic tone of voice her experiences with h er catechist M ends while traveling de pueblo en pueblo or from town to town, as p art of th e ir Church related activities. As she recounted her experiences with great detail, she reminisced with a glowing expression in her eyes: W ith el padre I visited many, many places! A n d when he arrived, we used to go out to have dinner or to dance or to have a drink. We also used to go to eat com. We used to go to dance and the priests were so attractive! We said: Que Padre!! (a M exican expression for “great,” literally “W hat a father!”). [laughs] Some o f them... ay!! Well..., I have to adm it it, some o f them were very handsome! For women like B eatriz, a disjuncture between expected rigid and monastic life styles and real life practices of catechists, nuns, and priests m ay create a space to explore personal agency, autonomy, and pleasure. She described how she enjoyed being a catechist while taking advantage of la ingenuidad (naivete) of her m other in order to enjoy the personal freedom th a t otherwise would be difficult to obtain. As she expressed, “My mother was very ignorant because according to her, since we were w ith th e priest, we were safe..., and..., well..., I w as happy!” Beyond th is sense of freedom as a catechist, B eatriz told me she understood and always practiced respeto personal tow ard the priests. “They should have th e pope’s perm ission!,” Beatriz exclaimed while calling for radical changes w ith regard to demanding 278 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. celibacy from priests and explaining how eZ padre was exposed to th e rejection of some people in h er sm all town. She explained to me th a t even though she h as attended la m isa de los domingos (Sunday m ass) since h e r early involvement w ith th e Church, she did not considered herself a santurrona (a “saintly” religious or a m orally conservative woman) and was aw are of m any of the m oral contradictions w ithin the Chinch. Then, she referred to th e clear personal boundaries she learned to establish w hile traveling w ith el padre as she explained why th is w as not always th e case for other women. As she articulated her own understanding about th e difficulty in complying w ith an idealized m orality in real life, she expressed h er own criticism about some priests’ moral integrity. As she expressed: There was a p rie st,... [pause] a friend o f my very good friend... well, she had a child w ith that priest. A n d that is why I say that themselves do not respect w hat they preach. So, it is the same for them. Well, you find o f all kinds, some o f them comply with it but others do not. Similarly to Beatriz, Candelaria de la Rosa, bom and raised in a small town not far from th e coast, talked to me about h er old habit of attending la misa de los domingos. Consistently, she also talked about her knowledge about the moral contradictions w ithin the Church and the corresponding need for the institution to change th e ir regulations. As she continued, she expressed her feelings of sadness while sharing with me h er friend’s story w ith g reat detail. As she stated: I have a friend who had a child w ith a priest over there in my hometown, and he was lynched over there. A nd now the poor little boy has no father. And then, she does not tell him th a t his father was a priest so he is not traumatized. A s Candelaria finished her story, she concluded: “I think everybody has the right to enjoy sex. It would be better for priests to have th eir wives and for nuns to have their husbands.” 279 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A th ird woman, Felicia Gomez talked about the need to establish a clear separation between the Church and religion from sex an d m undane affairs, as I will discuss in more detail in th e next section. She assertively utilized th e term hipocresfa w hile describing m a n y of th e m oral inconsistencies she h as personally w itnessed on p a rt o f C hurch representatives. As she expressed with an ironic tone of voice: In fact, I..., in my hometown, I m et a priest who had some type o f m arital life, he had children! So, outside thechurch he was a norm al man. B ut inside the church, he was a priest. And fourth, Xochitl A rteaga, a extrem ely involved Catholic as I will examine later, shared w ith m e more th a n one story about los amorios (love affairs) betw een priests and some of th e women in h e r sm all town. She described w ith g reat v itality an d lucid detail th e effect of th is ty p e of circumstances on her respect tow ard th e Church as an institution failing a t its obligation to set good examples of moralidad y decencia. As she recalled these stories for me, she condemned th e inappropriate behavior of these priests. She stated: Well, one o f them, an old priest, he ran away w ith his secretary and th a t was a thing in that sm all town, olvfdese! (forget it!). A n d then when I was 13 or 1 4,1 met a priest who spent his life rescuing women from el burdel (the brothel). T hat was his job, and everybody in the town! you can imagine! I t seems like he left the Church later on and got married. As Xochitl continued sharing her stories, she vigorously concluded: “So if they [priests] tell you to behave like this and like that, w hy do they do it?! W hy if they preach about all that, how come they are not honest?! Don’ t you think?” Lastly, a group of women, although not a m ajority, expressed th e ir disapproval w ith regard to the C hinch’s influence on a woman’ s sexuality by addressing some of th e inconsistencies between the Catholic Church’ s highest hierarchy an d th e legitimacy o f th eir m orality teachings. Olga Ponce, from 280 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Mexico City, did not w ait for m e to finish, my reading of the text to express her discontent w ith an enraged, an intense reaction. As Olga stated: jAndale! (Yeah, right!) as i f I liked the pope th a t much. He is a millionaire isn’t he? To preach about all that... kindness, hum ility, and helping our brothers and sisters when he has all these millions on top o f him! Sim ilarly, Deyanira Estevez, from a sm all tow n in Jalisco, questioned the Church’s authority on a woman’ s sexual life while firm ly stating: “I do not care ahout w hat El Papa has to say because he does not help you in any way, nothing from nothing. He does not help you economically nor spiritually.” In general, the overwhelming majority of women in the study are keenly aware of th e patriarchal ideology and the m orality contradictions practiced by the Catholic Church. As paradoxical as it m ay appear, they do not necessarily tu rn aw ay from the C hurch nor do they stop practicing their religious beliefs, traditions, and observances. A t the core of th is process, they expose two complex patterns: Women E ITH E R reconcile both sexuality m atters and religious teachings by establishing a clearly polarized duality: “ sex/ sexuality / the body” and “ religion/the Church/ the spirit” are distinct and autonomous concepts th a t belong in two different, divided, and mutually exclusive social spheres and/or personal dimensions in a woman’ s life; OR, W omen ex h ib it personal agency b y conceding to them selves th e rig h t to make decisions while meticulously discrim inating, incorporating, and reconciling into their sex lives only specific m orality teach in g s based on th e convenience or appropriateness according to th eir own personal life styles and social realities. A. A Polarized Duality.* “ The church is fb r the spirit, sex is sep a ra te” The women in the study who followed this first dynamic associated the Church w ith practices prom oting religious faith and spiritual growth, and 281 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. established a clear cut with sex and sexuality as aspects th a t belong to worldly m atters involving the body and the flesh. For all of them , women’ s sexuality m atters are personal, private, and intim ate issues completely divorced from religious faith and spirituality concerns promoted by the Catholic Church. Some of these women explained how religious they were, some of them said they attended m ass regularly on Sundays b u t some said they did not, and some expressed with great pride their ardent devotion, respect, and love for la Virgen de Guadalupe. Beyond these differences, th e common denom inator among all of these women was an interesting belief: th e Catholic Church is an institution th a t promotes faith and takes care of spiritual affairs and m ust not interfere w ith women’ s sexuality concerns or worldly issues directly connected to carnal, erotic or sexual concerns. “ La iglesia es para el espiritu, el sexo es aparte (The church is for the spirit, sex is separate),” articulated P atricia Quezada from Jalisco; her words best represent this perspective. Patricia, for instance, talked about her tradition of attending la misa de los domingos on a frequently basis where she prays w ith respect and deep devotion. When I asked h er question, “Do you think th a t the Church should tell women how to behave sexually?,” she convincingly explained: No, I think the Church should not tell us how... like that, the way you said it... to behave sexually. I think the Church should not tell us how to behave in matters o f sex. When you go to mass, you go to pray, you go to ask for your personal needs. B ut sex is separate. Prayer is to take care o f the spiritual, not o f sex. Sex is separate. Similarly, Rosalia Silva, from Mexico City, identified h erself as a practicing Catholic and clearly explained this duality between both sexual and religious aspects as a consequence of a historical evolution of th e Church, modernity and social life, and her own life as a Catholic woman. “Well, I say th a t it [sex] is separate, isn’ t it? We do not have to let ourselves be influenced 282 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. by what th e C hurch says about sex anymore,” Rosalia categorically expressed. As we continued, I stated, “Aha..., so w ith regard to sex and the Church...,” then she added to m y incomplete sentence: Well..., you do not respect w h a t they tell you even i f you wanted because that [sexl is som ething very different. These are two different things. Matters th a t have to do w ith sex do not belong to the Church. Sex is a personal matter. O ther w om en like Felicia Gomez were brief b u t clearly reacted w hile establishing a clear division betw een sex and celestial affairs. As she stated by nodding h er head while reacting to th e paragraph of th e Carta al Papa: “Sex... well, I think th a t we do not have to involve God in those kinds of things because sex is something th a t is happening here in this world, on this earth, not in God’ s Kingdom.” Beyond th is tendency to establish a clear-cut polarized division between the connections religion-church-spirit, on one hand, and sex-sexuality-body, on the other, th ere is an ingrained conflict responsible for such an interesting dynamic. An intense inner struggle is unm asked as some of these women explained w ith a n enraged tone of voice a need for keeping both areas separate because of a powerful reason: m oral ideals promoted by th e Church w ith regard to women’s sexuality antagonize w ith central aspects of their daily life personal experiences and their social reality as heterosexual women. “The pope objects to condom use and says it is bad. B u t if you have 20 children, the church is not going to give you money to support them and to give them a good education!,” was vocalized by Soledad Torres w ith a high pitch of voice and a filming spark in her eyes while chuckling sarcastically. Soledad’ s words best exemplify th is discord betw een idealized m oral expectations from th e Church and a woman’ s need for personal agency, responsibility, and sexual autonomy. As we continued w ith th e interview, she expanded very passionately on this issue: 283 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, I th in k the Church should not say anything about sex. I think th a t all those issues about sexuality and birth control and abortion, a n d all that, is a personal matter, something about your personal life, and about your relationship between you and your partner. O ther women, like Norm a Ortega, expressed her skepticism and great surprise w ith regard to th e Carta al Papa. “ jgEs real eso?! (Is th a t real?!)” N orm a asked m e w ith an overjoyed tone of voice after I read th e paragraph for h e r. She celebrated w ith great enthusiasm such a ground breaking step tow ard progressive changes w ithin the Catholic Church. Sim ilarly to Soledad, N orm a explained h e r rationale for a need to m aintain a sharp division between religion and its idealized sexual m orality and women’s real life experiences involving sexuality m atters. “They do not know w hat a woman really suffers, yes, they really do not know,” Norma emphasized while explaining her rationale for a woman to be granted a total control over h er body and reproductive rights w hile keeping it independent from m isinform ed and biased regulations established by a m ale dominated religious institution. As she reflected later on th is issue: S exu a lity is a very n a tu ra l reaction o f your body, a physiological need. Even if you don’t w ant it, you have it. A n d sooner or later, you are not going to repress yourself ju s t because o f religion. I f you use contraceptive pills or condoms, th a t is supposed to be a sin. B ut the sexual need exists, the sexual need is there! So the woman is the one who should decide i f she wants to have children or not, to p u t it simple. In sum, th is group of women are active agents y et m em bers of a subordinate social group who in th eir oppression m ust redefine th e Catholic C hurch’s responsibilities as those th a t involve exclusively and solely the promotion of faith and spiritual growth of its members. Based on th eir social location and standpoint as women w ith sexualized bodies as well as personal an d social realities as women, they clearly challenge the Catholic Church’s 284 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. involvement with, sexuality m atters or worldly concerns by becoming aware of their unrealistic sexual morality. B . Personal Agency. R eligion, and Sex: “The woman is the one who decides more than anybody else” With, regard to the second dynamic, a group of women clearly exhibit a parallel process to the one discussed in chapter # 5 on “Networking, Sex Education, an d Talk Shows.” T h at is, women actively exercise personal agency by selectively perceiving, judging, and incorporating or accommodating into their sex lives only specific information offered by the Catholic Church. In other words, these women m eticulously discrim inate and accept only th e knowledge and values th a t would not interfere w ith th eir own personal life styles and value systems w ith regard to sexuality. Interestingly enough, women who were highly committed and involved in church activities in their places of origin displayed this type of pattern. As previously discussed in th e introduction to th is chapter, Xochitl Arteaga, from a small town in Jalisco talked to me about the excitement she experienced while attendinglos cursillos de la iglesia (courses organized by the Church periodically) when she was a teenager before she m igrated to Los Angeles at age 25. During th e interview, behind her glowing expression and persistent curiosity, Xochitl said she had a special interest in discussing issues connecting religion, the church, and women’ s sexuality because of her active participation in E l Movimiento Familiar Cristiano (the C hristian Fam ily Movement) and her personal experiences while living in a convent after a love disappointm ent experience. Xdchitl’s zealous restlessness while discussing these issues became more evident while we explored h er experience at las platicas prematrimoniales (prem arital group presentations). Attending las platicas prematrimoniales offered Xochitl both the opportunity to comply w ith 285 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. an official requirement to get m arried by the Church and a clear social scenario to learn about th e in stitu tio n ’s sexuality teachings th a t a t some point she would freely challenge and contest. “When you see th a t the inform ation is good for you, you take it, if you see th a t is ... well, old fashioned, you get rid of it, you do not pay attention to it,” Xochitl firmly stated as we explored w h at she did w ith all the information offered to her by las amas de casa (housewives) and las parejas catolicas (Catholic couples) leading these presentations. As we continued, Xochitl explained to me the sexuality related inform ation she received from las platicas. She described, for example, th e mix of terro r and curiosity she experienced as one of the presenters gave one of h e r lectures: “A nal sex, you cannot do it th a t way, it has happened th a t women get to the hospital dying w ith th eir intestines outside!” After Xochitl overcame her own astonishm ent while describing her instructor’s ideas on anal sex, I asked her: “W hen they tell you all this about anal sex, w hat do you do about i t later on?” Then she replied: Well, only i f I experience it will I be able to know if it really happens or not. I tried to do it b u t it was som ething experimental. My husband and I understood that we could not do it and that was the end o f it. A t some point Xochitl explained to me how las revistas (magazines) she had read in Mexico helped h er to gradually become sexually literate and to question the inform ation received from los cursillos or las pldticas pre matrimoniales. As she elaborated for me: “I th in k it happened because I sta rte d to read. Well, you know th at Vanidades and Cosmopolitan have good articles written by psychologists on things about sex and in th a t w ay you get to learn things th a t help you a lot.” Clearly, Xochitl exhibited personal agency and autonom y as she evaluated and explored th e validity and reliability of th e knowledge she 286 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. received. Ultimately, she selected, accepted or rejected th e various sources of inform ation she is exposed to while m aking personal decisions involving h e r sexual behavior. For instance, a t some point during th e interview, Xochitl explained to me th a t even though she knew th a t v irginity was a m oral expectation demanded by the Catholic Church, she voluntarily decided to have sex before she got m arried and she said th at she would n o t be concerned about her daughter experimenting prem arital sex. “They are too rigid... it cannot be th a t way!,” she exclaimed as she told me th a t she w as completely aware of th e unrealistic nature of th e Catholic Church’ s teachings on sexuality. As a w ay to conclude her opinion about all these issues, Xochitl expressed: “Well, I th in k it is up to oneself, uno es quien decide mas que nadie (oneself is the one who decides more than anybody else).” As w ith the previous group of women, questioning one’s loyally to th e teachings of the Catholic C hurch is not a sim ple process. For women like Xochitl, reconciling a highly committed religious life while being able to embrace personal agency with regard to her sexual life was n either a smooth experience nor an overnight transform ation. As p art of this process, she played an active role by c h a lle n g in g the C hurch’ s teachings; not surprisingly, priests graciously dism issed h er progressive opinions. While I w as still draw n by m y own curiosity, I commented, “You w ere a highly involved Catholic, did you ever question some of these priests or educators w ith regard to th eir teachings on sex?” T hen she replied, “Yes!, th e priests would laugh, th ey only said ‘jAh, tremenda muchacha!’ (W hat a young lady!)” As we finished our discussion on issues related to th e Catholic C hurch and h er sex life, I verbalized m y la s t enigma. “I t gets my attention th a t you were highly involved in the Church and at the sam e time you had your own progressive ideas about your sex life, how do you reconcile these two p arts of your life?” Then, she replied: 287 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, you do not stop feeling guilty. I think that in the deepest part o f m y heart I have a little bit o f guilt. B ut you have to take it out! You have to talk about it, even i f you are invaded by these feelings o f guilt and regrets. Where would I ended up i f I did not do it?! As discussed, th e firs t group of wom en w ould recognize th e contradictions as well as the chaotic disjuncture existing between the Catholic C hurch’s sexual m orality and th eir sexual and social realities as women. Women like Xochitl, in addition, experience a personal inner struggle by paying a psychological cost in order to harm onize two im portant aspects of their life: on one hand, religious faith as a source of inner strength; and on th e other, sexual autonomy and agency as im portant and intim ate personal concerns as women. O ther women, not as highly com mitted in church activities as Xochitl Arteaga but em bracing religiosity w ith th e same intensity in th eir ardent faith and devotion, expressed parallel experiences. For example, A zalea Zapata, bom and raised in Mexico City, articulated with a gentle and warm hearted tone of voice her love an d respect for th e Catholic Church: “I love th e Catholic C hurch very m uch because they do n o t force us to do an yth in g, there is freedom for everybody to do w ith our personal lives whatever we can. But we all know w hat is good and w hat is bad.” Sim ilarly to Xochitl, Azalea recognized the potential value found in some of th e teachings offered by th e Catholic Church and sim ultaneously identified th e importance of granting agency to the individual to m ake personal decisions depending on her/his life circumstances. As Azalea organized her ideas to give h er opinion about the Carta al Papa, she exclaimed: iAyL. the pope and every single priest always tell you things. A nd that is O.K., but I think that it is better for each person to do whatever is convenient for that person. Right? I think that they interfere but each one o f us possesses his / her life and we do what is good not what is bad according to ourselves. 288 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. I explored w ith A zalea concrete examples of h er interesting ways to reconcile h er deep devotion w hile attending Sunday m ass on a weekly basis, her respect for w hat C hurch authorities have to say about sexual morality, and h er flexibility to respect an individual’ s autonomy. She patiently explained the m ain reason why these th ree aspects of her personal religious life were not m utually exclusive: the Catholic Church is a highly permissive and inform al institution. She recognized th e possibility of confession as an outlet th a t makes everything possible. In addition, she em phasized the im portance of redefining w hat is m orally appropriate according to th e individual’s social and economic circum stances. As we discussed h er opinion about reproductive health, she emphasized a woman’s right to choose an y contraceptive method including contraceptive pills and abortion depending on her socioeconomic conditions or limitations. Sim ilarly to Azalea, Irasem a Quiroga, also from Mexico City, talked about th e ways in which she reconciles her Catholic faith, a woman’ s need to be autonomous with regard to her reproductive health, and a woman’ s personal socioeconomic circumstances. “I am Catholic because it was inculcated in my mind by m y parents b u t yo tengo los pies en la tierra (I have my feet on the of her coworkers at a garm ent shop while living in Mexico. Irasem a described the poverty she witnessed back in Mexico while recalling the personal lives of these women who frequently got pregnant and had children uno tras otro or year after year because of, as she stated, the popular m andate socially and religiously rooted she sarcastically recited for me: “Yo voy a tener todos los hijos que Dios me mande (I will h av e all the children God w ants me to).” For Irasema, being realistic or keeping her feet on the ground did not translate into feelings of guilt or remorse. As Azalea, Irasema strongly supported a woman’ s 289 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. need to make personal decisions on h er sexual and reproductive health beyond religious m andates based on her personal and socioeconomic circumstances. For women like Xochitl Arteaga, A zalea Zapata, and Irasem a Quiroga, m aking special arrangem ents to reconcile th eir religious faith while creating personal adaptations an d arran g em en ts to in stitu tio n al reg u latio n s on sexuality is p art of w h at it means being a Catholic woman. F or women like Xochitl the experience implies a process of psychological ordeal or guilt and repentance; for w om en like A zalea an d Irasem a rep resen ted a sm ooth endeavor. Azalea and Irasem a, w ithout experiencing feelings of sham e or rem orse, said to respect th e Church’s sexual mores which becam e for them malleable enough depending on social circumstances and realities. O ther wom en in th e study also expressed th e ir religiosity w hile articulating a need to accommodate an d integrate while harm onizing th eir faith, religious practices, and progressive changes w ithin th e C hurch w ith regard to sexual morality. Yadira Velez, also from Mexico City, talked to me about her deep devotion as a guadalupana while showing me w ith great pride an d respect some of h er colorful and splendid lithographs of th e Virgin of Guadalupe, the Virgin Mary, and other virginal images hanging on the walls of h e r home w hile we h ad an inform al conversation before beginning our interview. “I am not completely religious because I am not completely involved in the Church. I believe in m y virgins, in m y Virgin of Guadalupe, in m y God, and I attend Sunday m ass,” she clarified la te r on for me while em phasizing w ith an euphoric an d assertive tone in h e r voice after I asked her if she considered herself a religious person. As w e en g ag ed in o u r in te rv ie w , we explored her opinion about the Carta al Papa which she celebrated w ith great joy. Yadira reacted to my reading of the passage w ith the following: 290 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Well, yes, sex is a beautiful thing but the m an is machista and things have to be done the way he says. B u t sex should be done on a m utual agreement, th a t is w hat m akes it beautiful. The letter is not offensive, quite the opposite. A s tim e and years pass by, the Catholic Church and human life have to evolve. As p arad o x ical as i t m ay appear, Y ad ira Velez, a fascin atin g guadalupana, redefines for h erse lf her m eaning o f religiosity, passionately experiences h e r faith, and complies with each one of th e established religious rituals and festivities. Sim ultaneously, she em braces a progressive m entality supporting continuous changes w ithin th e C atholic C hurch as p a rt of modernity an d social evolution. Sim ilarly to Xochitl as well as the first group of women who establish a polarized duality to reconcile religion and sex, Y adira exposed a stru g g le behind th is complex process to a ttu n e w hat seem s irreconcilable. Y adira talk ed to me about h e r personal struggle w hile integrating a desire to comply w ith these two im portant p arts of her life and making im portant personal decisions. “The C hurch does not authorize the use of contraceptive pills but I took them for a long tim e because... icomo es queyo me iba a cuidar? (how was I supposed to ‘ take care of m yself? in other words, ‘ prevent a pregnancy5 )” Y adira added during th e interview w ith a gesture of concern as we explored some of h er personal decisions w ith regard to h e r sexuality and reproductive health. Intrigued by Y adira5 s struggle, I asked her, “How do you do it, follow your religious practices and th e n make your own decisions w ith regard to your sex life a t the same tim e?” She replied: In p a r ti feel fine, in p a rt I do not feel fine. Because I know that I have done things against my religion but to some extent I feel relaxed because it is not possible to have m any children i f you do not have the economic means for it. W hy bring children to this world i f they are going to suffer? Besides describing for m e h er feelings of am bivalence and h er personal struggle w ith C hurch m andates, Y adira confided to me the m any tim es she felt 291 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. guilty after she had prem arital sexual relations and then after cohabitating for more th an ten years. She said how finally she made her confession not long ago and a t some point felt more comfortable and at peace w ith God and with herself. In sum, these women’ s sexual lives within th e context of their social condition as Catholics challenge the biased and prejudiced misrepresentation of Mexican women as abnegadas and sum isas. Their stories reflect sim ilar processes to those illustrated in chapter # 5 on networking, sex education, and talk shows w ith regard to Mexican women’s personal agency and sexuality: M exican im m igrant women do not autom atically ta k e an d incorporate oppressive ideologies into th e ir sexual lives even those coming from the controlling and dom inant Catholic Church. Instead, they m ay become active agents who contest, resist, and redefine in m any creative ways such moral prescriptions from th eir own sexual experiences as heterosexual women. Sexually speaking, the uniqueness of each one of these women’ s personal and individual ways of experiencing th eir heterosexuality as Catholic women is consistent with th e ways in which they experience their loss or preservation of prem arital virginity (chapter # 2) and, motherhood and sexuality (chapter # 3). That is, multiple female heterosexualities are constructed and systematically reproduced by, through and w ithin social practice. As discussed earlier, these dynamics resonate w ith fem inist theorist Lynne Segal’ s (1994) proposal to acknowledge the existence of multiple heterosexualities. Segal’ s invitation to recognize m any heterosexualities while examining women’s sexuality as a social and political issue (that is, considering each and every one of the social, cultural, and political forces th a t oppress women’s sexuality) offers an e n lig h te n in g a lte rn a tiv e to ex p lo re the m any possibilities for M exican 292 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. im m igrant women to claim th e ir rights to sexual autonomy, pleasure, and emancipatory sexual moralities. As stated by Segal: There are different heterosexual experiences and different heterosexualities. W e need to explore them , both to affirm those which are based on safety, tru st and affection (however brief or long-lasting), and which therefore empower women, and also to w onder (because it won’t ever be easy) how to strengthen women to handle those which are not. (P. 261) In addition to recognizing m ultiple heterosexualities an d M exican women’ s sexuality w ithin th e ir social context, for Mexican im m igrant women as a subordinate social group, Catholic teachings on sexual m orality are dynam ically mediated by th e ir personal subjectivities emerging from their standpoint as women, th a t is, th eir individual judgm ent “within” in connection w ith th e ir everyday and re a l life sexual an d social situ atio n s and/or circumstances. As illu strated by their sexual stories, these women do not autom atically assimilate Catholic sexual m oralities into their sex lives: they either question the Catholic C hurch representatives and th e ir m orally debilitated and/or ideologically inconsistent real life practices or they critically process, challenge, redefine, and accommodate sexual mores from various personal perspectives. F urtherm ore, women creatively utilize various mechanism s to soften and harm onize w hat m ay look irreconcilable a t first sight. For these women., Catholic faith w ith its corresponding religious practices and sexual morality, on the one hand, and a woman’ s sex life and her real-life sexual practices, on th e other, are not necessarily m utually exclusive. As illustrated by the personal experiences they highlighted in th eir testimonies, women have the potential to redefine the purpose of religion and faith in their lives while becoming aware of the disjuncture between ideal moral values and their authentic sexual and social realities as women. Women m ay reconcile a highly committed religious life while looking for possibilities for a 293 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. self-governing sex life. However, women’s decisions to transgress internalized Catholic prescriptions controlling th e ir sexualities m ay produce an emotional cost (e.g., feelings of guilt, ambivalence, remorse). As p a rt of th is experience, a m orally debilitated C hurch (i.e., p riests abusing children, priests having children, etc.) m ay help them to cope w ith these feelings of inadequacy. After all, in spite of th e m oral and psychological cost Catholic women may pay, it is still possible to have sexual agency w hile m aking concessions to preserve religious practices and beliefs. The w om en in th is study follow p arallel processes to Jean ette Rodriguez’s (1994) conceptualization of religiosidad popular. T hat is, how religion is tru ly lived and experienced by the m ajority of people.17 Following a sim ilar m echanism , th e women in th is study create a commonly self-defined em ancipatory sexual m orality or moral liberadora in m any creative ways. Accordingly, th e y do not necessarily compromise th e ir Catholic faith and religious practices. This moral liberadora emerges from w h at Dorothy Sm ith (1987) identifies as th e “standpoint of w o m e n , ” 18 For Sm ith, standpoint of women is defined as: A m ethod th a t, a t the outset of inquiry, creates th e space for an absent subject, and an absent experience th a t is to be filled w ith th e presence and spoken experience of actu al women speaking of and in the actualities of their everyday worlds. (P. 107) This way, if we see Mexican wom en from th e ir social location as a subordinate group an d sta rt from th e standpoint of M exican im m igrant women’ s sexual experiences and everyday life experiences—as a subordinate social group, as Catholic, and as sexual beings— we will be able to make visible w hat was previously invisible. Accordingly, the dom inant forms of sexual morality established by the Catholic C hurch rupture a t th e very point where a 294 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. critical standpoint comes to surface: the experience of Mexican women raised in Catholic families as a standpoint from which being a woman, being sexual, and being Catholic can be know n and understood ONLY from “w ithin.” The ru p tu re or disjuncture w here th e standpoint originates is closely associated to w hat Sm ith describes as “bifurcation of consciousness,” a concept utilized by h e r to explain th e subordinate status of women in society. F or Sm ith, women—unlike m en—experience a bifurcation of consciousness: women enter into a world ruled by and for m en and at the same tim e go through a transition process to re-position them selves into th e ir own location in society as a subordinate group, th a t is, as female and local. However, the local has not been th e site for the development of systematic knowledge or rules governing society. Women in the study clearly experience a bifurcation of consciousness: th ey are bom and raised as members of the Catholic Church (an institution created and controlled by and for men) and are exposed to their rigid morality, however, th e y experience a tran sitio n as they occupy th eir location and everyday life experiences as a subordinate group who neither has political nor economic power or control over such regulations. This bifurcation estranges Mexican women and keeps them voiceless. As illustrated, women who become aware of the disjuncture while looking at sex and religion from their standpoint b reak th eir silence. For heterosexual Mexican women raised in th e Catholic faith who become aware of th e ir bifurcation of consciousness, the disjuncture has m ultiple translations. It m eans challenging m any moral contradictions and incongruities w ithin the C hurch as an institution. It means redefining the Church, morality, and sexuality from a particular social location as women. It m eans praying the rosary w hile taking contraceptive pills and using condoms. It m eans m aking complex accommodations to reconcile religious faith and sex. 295 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. It means belonging while being excluded. It means obeying while resisting. It means feeling guilt while contesting. It m eans going to m ass and kneeling down in the m orning and having sex while figuring out erotic pleasure a t night. It means praying while being sinners. The sim ilarities connecting these women’s stories and their common patterns suggest a collective social struggle or bifiicartion of consciousness shared by Mexican women as a subordinate social group. By creating new and more authentic and/or realistic sexual m oralities (i.e., a moral liberadora for and by M exican women), they m ay challenge the danger and risks of being sexually oppressed while still being able to practice th e ir Catholic faith. Interestingly, a m inority group of women do not experience a disjuncture or a need to reconstruct and create a moral liberadora, th ey are obedient and faithfully comply w ith the sexual moralities promoted by the Catholic Church. C . Catholic Obedience: “ One must follow God’ s mandates” A m inority of women (20%) in th e study questioned, objected, and critiqued the tex t from the Carta al Papa for considering it inappropriate and defended fundam entalist perspectives on women’s sexuality and sexual m orality th a t have been traditionally established an d promoted by the Catholic Church. “Well, I do not agree. I believe th a t in order to live in harmony uno debe de seguir los mandatos de Dios (one m ust follow God’s m andates),” proclaimed Oralia Pacheco w ith a serious facial gesture while severely disapproving the Carta al Papa. H er words best represent w hat was verbalized by th e other few women in th is group. The vast majority of these women were from various small towns in Jalisco which m ay indicate a greater tendency for them to be exposed to oppressive ideologies and a higher pressure to conforming in term s of sexual m orality and Catholicism th an those women educated in th e capital of th e state (G uadalajara) and/or from larger 296 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m etropolitan areas. This p a tte rn is consistent w ith previous discussions (chapters # 2 and 3) on virginity, sex education of a daughter, and sexism in small tow ns versus larger and/or more urbanized social contexts. However, traditional values are still prevalent in cities like Mexico City. M acaria N egrete—th e only w om an from Mexico C ity who objected to th e letter— used the expression “I am not very liberal” while anticipating h e r moral panic and various concerns about radical changes w ithin th e Catholic C hurch w ith regard to women’s sexuality and moral values. As she explained h er reaction to the text: Perhaps ifs kind o f exaggerated but I think som ething like th a t it is like a time bomb w ithin religion, within the Church. W ith a change like that, everything would collapse. Women’ s reactions to L a carta al Papa expose th eir general feelings and perceptions on sexual m orality and the Church as a n institution. In addition, Mexicanas also reflected on a specific social, religious, and individual issue: abortion. V. Abortion: Between la ignorancia and /a liberacidn Abortion is illegal in Mexico except for those women whose pregnancy is the result of sexual violence. 19 Consistently, the women in this study identified abortion as one of th e m ost controversial them es w hile conversing on issues associated w ith religion, m orality, and women’s sexuality. They discussed a variety of topics as we explored th eir personal opinions about abortion. Among these them es were: rape, unplanned parenthood, poverty, religion, women’ s moral rights and obligations, women’ s agency w ith respect to their sex lives, and contraceptives. As I will discuss in this section, three of these women recalled th e ir memories and feelings about th eir own abortion experiences. Consistent w ith the previously discussed tendency to express conservative attitudes and opinions on various issues involving sexuality (i.e., virginity, 297 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. daughters and sex education, machismo), women from Jalisco w ere more likely to object to abortion practices while wom en from Mexico City w ere more likely to support a pro-choice alternative. Paradoxically, however, four contrasting categories em erged as I analyzed th e data: Anti-abortion: about 50% of th e women in th e study objected to abortion practices; Pro-choice: 20% s u p p o rte d a b o rtio n or p ro -ch o ice ideologies; Ambivalent: 20% expressed am bivalent opinions about this issue; and, No opinion: 10% did n o t give an opinion about abortion As discussed in th e previous section, th e majority of th e women in this study were more likely to promote an d support progressive changes w ithin the Church. However, a substantial num ber of them support a n anti-abortion ideology. W h at a re th e reaso n s for w h at m ay be in te rp re te d as a contradiction? Two groups w ithin th e anti-abortion category represent this interesting paradox: W omen who sim ultaneously support progressive changes w ithin th e Catholic C hurch b u t who perceive abortion as a socially-regressive alternative for women; and, W o m en w ho s u p p o r t p ro g re s s iv e c h a n g e s b u t w ho perceive abortion as a crime for reasons different thanreligion. In both groups, women object to abortion practices b u t explain their r a tio n a le as b e in g based on reasons other th an religious or sacred values. A m inority of women w ithin the anti-abortion category referred to th e Church or religious reasons to defend their argum ents. 298 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Interestingly, for the first anti-abortion group, women do not perceive abortion as a pro-choice or m odernistic, contem porary, fem in ist or em ancipatory women’s rights option with regard to women’ s reproductive health. Q uite th e contrary, th ey perceived abortion as a regression to rudim entary, incomprehensible, misinformed, and pre-modem acts involving reproductive h ealth and sexuality. Em ilia Falcon firm ly articulated th e expression, “Having an abortion shows too m uch ignorance!” This statem ent best represents this perspective. A college educated woman from Mexico City who promoted a passionate support for the Carta al Papa, Emilia explained for me w hy she contests abortion as an ap p ro p riate alternative in th e reproductive life of women. As she expressed: Well, I do not agree, unless the woman has been raped. I do not agree because with, a ll the scientific progress that we have accomplished and then for a woman to let herself getting pregnant! To me, it is very stupid! I fs too much ignorance on a woman’ s part! It is the result o f ignorance. As did Em ilia Falcon, two additional women from Mexico City, Gabriela Hurtado and Jim ena Lombardo—also advocates of progressive changes within the Catholic C hurch— firmly described abortion as a consequence of a woman’s lack of appropriate sex education or ignorancia to be in total control of her reproductive health and sexual life. Not being cognizant about contraceptive methods and choosing abortion as a last resource is not perceived in any way as emancipatory. Instead, for them , it is a proof of a woman being misinformed or being a mujer ignorante. They place th e entire burden of reproductive knowledge on th e woman; a woman is solely responsible of pregnancy. Gabriela H urtado, for instance, was brief while reacting: “I am not in favor [of it] because th e woman should prevent the pregnancy!” Following a parallel perspective, Jim ena Lombardo was more emphatic and energetic while sharing 299 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w ith me some of h e r conversations w ith her close M ends w ith regard to abortion. As Jim ena stated: Abortion is the worst you can do. There are many ways para cuidarse (literally “To take care of oneself” a.k.a. “To prevent a pregnancy”). I have friends who have had many abortions, God!, have they had them! Then, they come to me to talk about it. I tell them, “ Why are you so stupid and do not prevent it? fiCufdate!! (literally “Take care of yourself,” or “Avoid getting pregnant”). And lastly, women from Jalisco who also em brace a progressive m entality articulated an analogous opinion but, in contrast, th eir responses were softened. The reactions offered by Hortencia Ibarra, Patricia Quezada, and Xochitl A rteaga follow th is tendency. These three jalisciences used expressions such as “Well, it would be better to prevent it” or “It’s better to prevent it than to have an abortion” while addressing the need for a woman to be able to take contraceptive pills or to have access to other potential contraceptive methods such as th e rhythm or “N atural Family Planning” and condom use instead of choosing abortion. The second anti-abortion group is represented by women who, like the previous one, promoted progressive transform ations within th e Church but perceived abortion as a crime based on different and non-religious reasons. For instance, Rosalia Silva, from Mexico City, stated: “It is bad to take away the life from someone who is not responsible for our m istakes.” A fter Rosalia replied, I asked, “W here did you learn th a t abortion was a crime?,” she responded fervently: Well, from my own mind!, you feel it inside, my God!, you feel that you have a life inside o f you, and no! at least I would not do it! Along the same lines, Yadira Velez, also from Mexico City, explained, “I think it is a crime because I think he/she is already a h u m an being.” Women 300 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. from Jalisco offering sim ilar opinions include L orena Mdrquez an d Salome Tovar. Lorena, from a small town, briefly exclaimed: “Ifs kind of ugly, ifs like a crime!” Sim ilarly, Salome, b o m in a small tow n and raised in G uadalajara, expressed, “I t is a murder because he/she is a little person who cannot defend him/herself.” How do these women develop the idea th a t a fertilized cell, an embryo or a fetus is a hum an being? F irst, they learned it from their own em otional experiencing of pregnancy, e.g., “You feel that you have a life inside o f y o u ” Second, th e y based it on th e ir subjective and cognitive interpretations of knowledge about human development. For example, Norma Ortega exclaimed, “Definitely, it is a m urder because I have th e knowledge about how th e fetus evolves, you know, the brain, th e heart, so, th ere is life!” And third, women identified Catholic teachings as th eir source of inform ation. T he women offering th is explanation were more likely to be from rural areas in Jalisco th a n from la rg e u rb an contexts. T his dynam ic is consistent w ith previous discussions on virginity a n d exam inations on th e em phasized gender inequalities and sexual m oralities promoted in pre-industrial social contexts (e.g,t pueblos and ranchos). A n additional anti-abortion group included a m inority of w om en who oppose abortion practices based on their religious beliefs. Interestingly, two out of th e th ree women discussing their own abortion experiences fall into this category. For example, Victoria Yafiez, from a sm all town in Jalisco, m ade a long pause when I asked her opinion about abortion, then she continued w ith a w hispering and secretive tone of voice: “The truth..., the truth..., I am going to confess som ething to you..., I h ad an abortion here.” Victoria said she did not regret having an abortion, b u t she explained to m e th e anxiety and confusion she experienced before she finally decided to do it. W hen I asked Victoria if she 301 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. knew th a t abortion was legal in the U nited States, she responded, “The only thing th a t I can say... I think th a t is against God’s law.” Similarly, Diam antina E strada—the only woman educated in a P rotestant family while growing up in Mexico City—also shared her secret w ith me. As we discussed her experience, she described some of th e negative feelings she experienced after having th e abortion. As she explained to me: What do you think about abortion? Well, the truth, I had one abortion. Now I regret it because I used to go w ith my sister-in-law to the hospital and now I see that her daughter is 4 years old and I feel remorseful for what I did. Do you feel guilty now? Yes, but since God forgives everything I do not feel guilty anymore. God is love and he forgives everything. In th is study, women like D iam antina and Victoria, and those who survived some type of sexual violence a t some point of their lives (chapter # 2) reported feelings of guilt and sham e w hile disclosing th eir painful secrets: having an abortion or being raped. “ Me remorderia la consciencia toda la vida (My conscience would regret it m y entire life),” was fin expression used by th e women who had never had an abortion while wishing they would never have to experience one. And finally, th e last ideological perspectives were represented by the two following categories: Pro-choice women; and, Women who expressed am bivalent opinions and feelings w ith regard to abortion. The pro-choice group faithfully agrees w ith th e following fem inist paradigm w hich Olga Ponce briefly and assertively expressed: “Abortion is 302 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. solely an d exclusively a woman’ s decision.” Olga and th e other women in this small y et intense group of women in m any ways em brace the fundam ental ideas supporting this em ancipatory principle. W omen from Mexico City following this perspective also include Irasem a Quiroga who emphasized th a t a woman’s lack of appropriate socioeconomic conditions is a viable reason to support abortion. She exclaimed, “Well, I am in favor of abortion!” O ther women from Mexico City item ized th e m any reasons w hy a woman should have th e right and the access to the resources to have a safe abortion. Soledad Torres was articulate while explaining her rationale in detail. When I asked her, “W hat is your opinion about abortion?,” she replied: I t s better to have an abortion than to throw the child away in a trash can or to mistreat him /her continuously, or not to be able to take care o f him /her appropriately. I think ifs better to have an abortion than these situations when you do not want to have a baby. A nd Azalea Zapata, as did Soledad Torres, also addressed a wom an’s rig h t to have an abortion given h er d isad v an tag ed socioeconom ic circum stances. She reacted to one of my incomplete sentences. W hen I prompted, “So, with regard to abortion...,” she elaborated: I think that those women who need it, should have it done because it is very sad to see these many children living and suffering in poverty, I see it a lot in Tijuana. So, abortion is not a crime. Well, that is what I say. Consistently, pro-choice women from Jalisco also emphasized th e family and socioeconomic contexts as factors connected w ith a woman’s decision to have an abortion. For instance, Tomasita Uribe clearly stated with a furious and powerful tone of voice: “They say th a t abortion is disgraceful but I th in k it is more crim inal to bring children to this world and to abandon them, to have them w ithout clothing, w ithout food, w ithout education.” And G raciela H ernandez, from a town outside G uadalajara, who sim ilarly to th e other 303 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. women exposed her unconditional support for abortion. During our interview, I asked Graciela if she thought th e C hurch should have an opinion about abortion, she passionately replied: “The Church...?! No! I do not th in k so, I think th a t is a woman’s decision!” The am bivalent group included wom en who struggled w ith a divided opinion on abortion while articulating contrasting meanings in th eir responses. These women offered common reactions, th eir answers contained long pauses followed by messages such as “On one hand, it is fine but on the other one, it is bad;” or “I am between yes and no;” or, “Well, it depends.” All of them debated w ith their own moral dilemmas while explaining the m any justifiable excuses for a woman to have an abortion (i.e., rape, b irth defects, m alform ations or prenatal complications, etc.). Trinidad U rbina offered in a sentence th e utmost expression symbolizing w hat this group of women attem pted to articulate beyond their listing of acceptable reasons to have an abortion. Trinidad in the following way reacted to my incomplete sentence: So, with regard to abortion... I have a dual opinion about it. The ideal would be, o f course, to give sex education to women. B u t i f it is not available to you, abortion then becomes a necessary evil. As indicated in th e virginity chapter, Trinidad has a son w ith a m ental retardation problem probably caused by h er unsuccessful attem pts to have an abortion through clandestine means while hiding from her mother. Based on family ethics of honor and respect, T rinidad was coerced by her m other and married the father of th is child. Interestingly, th e last two groups of women (ambivalent and pro-choice) were consistently m ore likely to be from Mexico City th an from Jalisco, pre industrial regions in particular. This p a tte rn suggests the following social dynamics: 304 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C onsistently w ith previously discussed ideologies on virginity and sex education of a daughter (chapters # 2 and 3), women living in u rb an areas m ay be less likely to be exposed to th e gender inequalities (i.e., anti-ab o rtio n m entality) characteristic of sm all pueblos and th e ir social and m oral contexts. Women living in larg er cities m ay be m ore likely to become aware of legal regulations w ith regard to abortion, and accordingly, more likely to challenge social gender inequalities and Catholic Church’ s anti-abortion regulations. Women living in u rb an areas m ay be m ore likely to be exposed to fem inist and/or progressive ideologies and/or fem inist literature in g e n e r a l.20 Even though it was not indicated by any of th e women in th is study, women living in urban contexts m ay have easier access to modem technologies (i.e., am niocentesis and genetic studies), and sophisticated medical services w hen compared to women from ru ral and pre-industrial areas. This knowledge m ay have an influence on their perceptions of abortion. In sum, the testim onies of these women illu strate interesting dynamics w ith reg ard to Mexican im m igrant women and abortion. F irst, like th e netw orking processes by w hich women prom ote socially learned sexist ideologies and practices (chapter # 5), women effectively discipline, stigmatize, and condemn other women for not being in total control of th eir sex lives and therefore, for not knowing how to prevent an unw anted pregnancy. W hile faithfully prom oting th e oppressive social syndrom e “She should know b etter ” th ey m ay share social resources (i.e., netw orking) to enhance th eir own sexual oppression as w om en w ith regard to issues involving abortion. Second, ak in to the processes linked to the social construction of virginity (chapter # 2), unexpected pregnancy and th e possibility of an abortion are linked to im portant visible social symbolism. A woman’ s unw anted pregnancy becomes th e visible symbol n o t only of h er sexual activity b u t of h er irresponsible, misinformed, and inappropriate sexual behavior and ultim ately 305 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. her ignorancia. W e see how having an abortion, th a t is, a private issue, becomes th e center of a public debate th a t exposes women not only to being condemned m orally b u t also socially devalued. A woman’ s personal decision to have an abortion transform s her publicly into a socially regressive woman living back in th e d ark ages: a mujer ignorante. Ultimately, th e decision to have an abortion or not becomes a public affair subjected to the corresponding moral control of social institutions. As stated by Lucia Rayas (1998): “The feelings of guilt and indecency th a t surround abortion arise because the very fact of pregnancy attests to having exercised sexuality—a trem endous affront to institutions like th e state, law, and religion which seek to control women’ s sexual lives.” And third, the testim onies of these women unm ask interesting disjunctures w hich suggest potential com plications w ith reg ard to the implementation of emancipatory social mechanisms for the sexual liberation of Mexican im m igrant women. As illu strated by some of their reactions with regard to abortion, women educated in developing or Third World societies may run the risk of supporting their pro-choice m entality exclusively on th e basis of economic h ardship and socioeconomic oppression rath er th a n perceiving abortion as a right over their reproductive health as women regardless of their social circumstances. In addition, although there is an im portant representation of Catholics for a F ree Choice in Mexico, not all women who embrace a progressive m entality as m em bers of the Catholic Church (i.e., women supporting the Carta al Papa) autom atically promote an em ancipatory ideology in crucial aspects of th e ir reproductive and sexual lives (i.e., pro-choice m entality). Looking a t abortion from th e stan d p o in t of Mexican women certainly com plicates W estern definitions an d u nderstanding of women’s sexual liberation. For instance, these women’s ways of experiencing their pregnant 306 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. bodies and th e idea about having an abortion (i.e., Rosalia’s words: “You feel th a t you have a life inside of you,” m ay represent controversial issues and potential contradictions while we rew rite our sexual liberation scripts as feminists concerned about Mexican and Latina women. Finally, even though highly respected M exican intellectual Carlos Monsivais once expressed th a t abortion in Mexico w as socially accepted by the general population and therefore it was “m orally decrim inalized” (Rayas, 1998), the illegal status of abortion in Mexico with its unrighteous criminalizing legal definition, the powerful and punishing anti-abortion social presence of the Catholic Church, an economically and politically empowered pro-life right wing and other conservative sectors, ALL of them reinforce th e anti-ethical and forbidden n a tu re of abortion. These facts are clearly represented by th e feelings of guilt, remorse, ambivalence, and moral inadequacy so evident in the testim onies of th e women in th is study. Progressive women and m en who support abortion in Mexico and the m ajority of L atin American countries still face the risk of being politically and morally incorrect. As Lucia Rayas (1998) accurately states: “Even for the m ost liberal Latin Americans, abortion brings up feelings of guilt, a certain sense of indecency, and deep sorrow.” Conclusion In this chapter, I have analyzed the ways in which Mexican im m igrant women perceive and redefine Catholic ecclesiastical m orality regulations. By analyzing th ese women’s reactions to m any topics involving the Church, religion, morality, and their own sex lives as mujeres catolicas, this chapter highlights four basic ideas. First, contrary to a general m isrepresentation of Mexican women as abnegadas and sumisas, the overwhelming majority of the women in the study (80%) passionately supported an d praised emancipatory and progressive changes w ithin th e Catholic C hurch w ith regard to sexual 307 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. m orality versus a m inority (20%) who supported th e statu s quo of th eir traditional teachings. Second, women promoting progressive sexual m oralities and ideologies follow specific patterns: 1) th ey perceive the Catholic C hurch as a m orally fractured an d debilitated organization, and they question and condemn m orality contradictions w ithin th e C hurch (i.e., sexual abuse of children by priests, priests having lovers and children); 2) even though they repudiate th e m oral in teg rity of th e in stitu tio n , M exican wom en do not necessarily abandon th e Church nor their faith, rituals, and religious practices. Instead, they redefine an d reconcile both sexuality m atters and religious teachings in two w ays: a) th ey estab lish a polarized d u ality betw een “sex/sexuality/the body” (private) and “religion/the Church/the spirit” (spiritual not public) as separate and m utually exclusive social spheres and/or personal dimensions in a wom an’s life; and, b) th e y m ake personal decisions while discriminately selecting, incorporating, and reconciling into their sex lives only sexual values and practices based upon its convenience or appropriateness according to th eir own personal sex lives. Third, I introduce Lynne Segal’s redefinition of heterosexuality to recognize th e existence of m any diverse and fluid female heterosexualities while exploring th e m any possibilities for Mexican immig ran t women to claim their rights to sexual autonomy, pleasure, and emancipatory sexual moralities. In addition, I utilize Dorothy Sm ith’s concepts of “standpoint of wom en” and “bifurcation of consciousness” to argue th at Mexican women’s sex lives as women educated in a predom inantly Catholic society can be examined and understood ONLY from “within.” T hat is, through th e ir everyday real life experiences as w om en, as sexual beings, and as Catholics. And finally, for women em bracing progressive changes w ithin the Church, em ancipation does not necessarily tran slate into prom oting a pro- choice mentality. A bortion rem ains a highly controversial and critical theme 308 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. for this group o f Mexicanas w ith regard to the way th e y perceive their sexual and reproductive rights and moral obligations as women. NOTES 1. I utilize th e term “Native Mexican women* to identify w om en of indigenous origin living in the o ccu p ied areas in Mexico during the years of la conqulsfa. See Asuncidn Lavrin's book Sexuality and Marriage in Colonial Latin Am erican (1989), Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, for a co m p lete and in-depth historical examination of the Catholic Church's influence on the regulation of sexuality in colonial society as well as the sex lives of th e p eop le living during that particular period in Mexican history. 2. See Otilia M eza's feminist review of La Malinche's biography in the 1988 edition of her book in Spanish: Matinally Tenepal: la gran calum niada. Also, s e e article by Antonia C astaned a (1993) “Sexual V iolence in the Politics o f Conquest: Amerindian Women and the Spanish Conquest o f Alta California" in Building With Our Hands by Adela d e la Torre and Beatriz Pesquera, Berkeley: University o f California Press, for well- d ocu m en ted e v id e n c e of sexual v io len ce against ind igenous w om en living in California and its connections with patriarchal concepts of domination and control. 3. in her article 'Curas, diosas y erotismo: el catolicismo frente a los indios," Sylvia Marcos (1989) offers a com pelling analysis of how missioners and priests who evangelized th e indigenous groups in Mexico design ed very detailed confession guides or confesionarios consisting of a questionnaire they utilized in their confessions in order to explore in depth the sexual lives and practices of th e indigenous people. As accurately stated by Marcos: “Meticulous questions were required and it was necessary to repeat them hundreds of times during the confessions in order to make sure the Catholic c o n c ep t of dirty sex had an im pact on the consciousness of the indigenous people" (translation is mine), p. 19. Marcos also discusses how pre-Columbian cultures in Mexico exp erien ced a wide variety o f eroticism and sexual practices beyond a restrictive procreative sexuality prom oted since ancient times by the Catholic Church. S ee b ook Sexuality and Catholicism by Thomas C. Fox (1995) for a well- docum ented explanation on why sin, and not blessing, has b een the predominant Catholic perspective on human sexuality. This negative view stems from centuries and g o e s b a ck to old Christian notions that s e e sex a c ts — unless intended for procreation—as sinful. This is also asso cia ted to the Judeo-Christian Creation story: Adam and Eve, th e Temptation, the Fali, con cu p iscen ce, and the banishment from Paradise. Fox also analyzes idealist Greek philosophy (i.e.. Plato) which viewed sex as the lowest part of human nature, also reinforced this perception. Christianity b e c a m e so influenced by this thinking that sex within marriage was also suspect. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) argued that celibate life is to b e preferred b eca u se it is “unseared by the heat of sexual desire." Aquinas also argued that Jesus had to b e conceived virginally b ecau se sin is transmitted by the m ale seed . Throughout virtually all of church history the only moral justification for sex in marriage was intercourse with the intention of procreation. A bove all sex, women w ere viewed as threats to salvation. 4. As discussed in chapter 2, m ore than any other social institution, the Roman Catholic Church has m olded M exican society's values an d morality in regard to wom en's sexuality. Even though som e Protestant or Non-Catholic denominations (i.e.. Mormon Church, Evangelical, Jehovah Witness, Baptist) h ave attracted a small sector of the M exican population during th e last tw o d e c a d e s, m ost M exicans are predominantly Catholic (Riding, 1985; Gutmann, 1996). Based on th e 1990 Census in Mexico. 89.7% of th e M exican population is Catholic, 4.9% is Protestant or Evangelical, 0.1% is Jewish, 3.2% do not have a religious affiliation, and 2.1% belong to another religion and/or to a non-identified religion. Information ob tain ed from Luis Basteri (via Lorenzo Espinosa), Direccibn General de Pianeacidn y Programacidn y Presupuesto en el Distrito Federal d e la Subsecretana de Servicios Educativos. Summer 1999. 309 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Latinos represent about 65% of the approximate 4 million Roman Catholics in the Los Angeles archdiocese. Based on statistics offered by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops.about 20 million Latinos living in the United States are Roman Catholic—approximately 66% of the total U.S. Latino population. See article ‘Southland Churches Face Shortage of Latino Priests' by Maria Elena Ferndndez, Los A ngeles Times, Sunday October 31, 1999, Section B , pp. 1 and 10. The Protestant presence in Mexico g o e s back to the result of divisions within the Roman Catholic Church. President Benito Juarez (mid-and late X IX century) clashed repeatedly with the Roman Catholic hierarchy, which he considered too aristocratic and retrograde (Gonzdlez, 1995). Demographic studies on religion in Northern Mexico explain social processes of transnational migration underlying the Protestant presence in towns and cities located along the Northern Mexican border (Herndndez, 1998). in addition, in spite of a consistent d ecrease in numbers. Latino and Latina immigrants living in the United States are mainly Catholic. Information obtained from Los A ngeles Times, March 25, 1998, Section A, article by Anne-Marie O'Connor ‘Church's New W ave of C hange.' See this report for an interesting analysis of the ways in which Latino immigrants have influenced Catholic religious practices and rituals in the United States. 5. The Catholic Church prohibits all forms of artificial birth control, rejects sterilization and abortion in every circumstance, condem ns in vitro fertilization and reproductive tech n o lo g ies that rep lace sexual intercourse (i.e., artificial insemination), calls masturbation an ‘intrinsically grave disorder,' prohibits the expression of sexual intimacy betw een gays and lesbians, and has a rigid and negative position against condom use to prevent th e spread of the AIDS virus. Based on the 1994 official Catechism of the Catholic Church; quote taken from Persona Humana. 6. Lamas (1998) examines why, in spite of more than 15 years of gender research, feminist and g a y activism, and passionate support from progressive intellectuals and influential m edia figures, there is a frightened public sector (including the governing Partido Revolucionario Insfitucional or P R I) to confront the Catholic leaders with regard to their socially regressive sexual moralities and misinformed information on sexual education. Unfortunately, the now legalized and protected status of the Catholic Church m ay en h an ce this attitude from the public sector. The 1917 Constitution established progressive anti-clerical laws that created a rigid separation betw een the Church and the state and prohibited any legal status to the Catholic Church in Mexico. Unfortunately, this social scenario w as modified in 1992 as part of president Carios Salinas d e Gortari's attem pts to “modernize" Mexican society. Since then, the Catholic Church has been legally em pow ered (e.g., now Catholic priests ca n vote) and protected by the constitutional am endm ents taking p lace during the Salinisfa administration. This scenario is aggravated by the evident negligen ce or lack of concern expressed by Mexican politicians with regard to sexual politics which may suggest both the State and the Church are complicitous participants. 7. Progressive organizations include Catholics for a Free C hoice, the Mexico City W omen's Health Network, GIRE, Sor Juana's Closet, Letter S, and the Gay Cultural Circle. Other activist groups include Patlatonally (Guadalajara), Embrace (Monterrey), Fight (Tijuana), the Rosario Castellanos W omen's Center (O axaca), and the San Cristbbal Women's Group (Chiapas). See Marta Lamas' 1998 article, p a g e 21. 8. Influential North American feminist theologians include; Mary Daly (her ground breaking book 1969, The Church and the Second Sex. and 1973, Beyond G od the Father: Toward a Philosophy o f Women's Liberation). Daly's work put forth som e of the original critiques of patriarchal structures and church use of androcentric langu age patterns as integral aspects of women's oppression and promoted a gender-sensitive inclusive langu age. Other feminist theologians include: Rosemary Radford Ruether: (1974, Religion and Sexism: 1974, New Woman, New Earth): M adonna Koibenschlag (1979, Kiss Sleeping Beauty Good-Bye): and, Elizabeth Schussier Fiorenza (1983, In Mem ory o f Her: A Feminist Reconstruction of Christian Origins). 310 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 9. Bidegain (1989) challenges religious experiences that are seen as asexual or that perceive sexuality as unfit for the divine life as well as perceptions of asexuaiity as the only viable m odel of a Christian lifestyle, and a monastic spirituality as the Christian ideal. 10. Carta at P apa was published by Teresita d e Barbieri in the Mexican journal Debate Feminlsta, Ano I , Vol. 2. Septiembre 1990, pp. 357-361 11. Pope John Paul I I and his insistence on absolutes on morality and sexuality are most evident in his 1993 encyclical Verltatis Splendor (The Splendor of Truth). Veritatis Splendor represents the final connection betw een moral absolutes of the church sexual teachings and th e authority of the pope: John Paul I I , said he alone, as p op e, is the supreme instructor and knew and had the right to express moral absolutes. One of the most important examinations of the question infallibility app eared in the 1970 book Infallible? by Father Hans Kung. Kung' w as later stripped from his position as Catholic theologian at the University of Tubingen (Germany) in 1979 a little more than a year after John Paul I I b e c a m e pope. Kung published the 1995 version of his previous book but now with the title: Infallible? An Unresolved Enquiry. See Thomas C. Fox, (1995) Sexuality and Catholicism, New York: G eorge Braziller for an interesting discussion on Kung's case. 12. Based on examinations of M exicana/o sexuality studies, Patricia Zavella (1997) concludes, “Mexican residents in the U.S.—like others—do not simply follow church doctrines when it co m es to decisions ab ou t contraception, abortion, or submitting to sexual v io len ce.' S ee Zaveila, Patricia (1997) “Playing With Fire: The G endered Construction of Chicana Mexicana Sexuality," pp. 392-408 in Roger N. Lancaster and Micaela D'Leonardo (editors). The Gender-Sexuality Reader: Culture, History, Political Economy, New York: Routledge. 13. Original text in Spanish in La Carta al Papa reads as follows: Es tiempo que com o iglesla reconozcamos que la sexualidad es santa y dlvina. Ya es hora que asumamos la sexualidad como parte d e la gratuidad de Dios y de qulenes se dan mutuamente la llbertad y generosldad, no solo para tener hijos. Ya es hora de reflexionar y reconocer que la sexualidad es santa y divlna. Ya es hora que como mujeres catdlicas reconozcam os que Dios nos ha concedido un cuerpo, al que debemos am ar y recuperar, pues es parte frascendente de nuestras personas y de nuestra unidad con Dios. Es urgente que el Vaticano, oblspos y sacerdotes, actuen y piensen de un rnodo radicalm ente dlstinto, dejdndose Interpelar por el mundo vivencial de las mujeres, para que actuen acordes al Plan de Dios. Es urgente que nos consideren personas adultas, cap aces de apropiarnos de nuestras vidas y nuestros cuerpos, para que confien y respeten nuestras opciones, y el derecho a la intimidad, a la sexualidad, d e m anera responsable y en armonfa con los valores del Reino: en verdad, en justicia, en am or e igualdad. Solo en el respeto mutuo, en el reconocimiento pleno de los derechos de todos como personas, podemos contrlbuir con la humanidad sin Ifmites y a “ la vida en abundancia" (Jn. 10, 10). 14. As previously indicated, 39 out of the 40 women in the study were ed u cated in families promoting the Catholic faith: only o n e was raised in a Protestant church. Most of them were born and raised in a society strongly influenced throughout history by the Roman Catholic Church in terms of sexual morality. 15. As indicated in chapter 3, conversion into a new religion after migration and settlement was not frequently experienced by the women of this study. Only three of the 39 Catholic w om en converted into a Protestant denomination after living in the United States: Beien Carrera, Fernanda Galindo, and Erendira Fuentes. Of the 4 0 study participants, only Diamantina Estrada was raised Protestant in Mexico. Even though the conversion-into-a-new church incid en ce is not striking, it is important to mention that two out of the three women who b e c a m e Protestant (Belen Carrera and Fernanda Galindo) b e c a m e more fundamentalist in their attitudes with regard to the sexual morality especially while educating their daughters.. Based on 311 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. their reiigious v a lu e s, b o th h o p e their d a u g h te r s will refrain from premarital sex. Interestingly, both w om en support the socially progressive ch a n g es proposed in La Carta a l Papa. Erendira Fuentes w as the only single wom an who b eca m e Protestant, who in contrast, reported a sexual morality transformation (from conservative to liberal) after religious conversion. 16. Arguelles and Rivero (1993) have illustrated similar moral contradictions within the Church. They h a v e exam ined how Latina immigrants have b een ex p o sed to the attem pts of sexual an d econ om ic exploitation by priests and pastors while looking for spiritual support at religious institutions in the United States. 17. Jeanette Rodriguez (1994) explains how in th e c a s e of M exican Americans, religiosldad popular is represented by the com plexity o f spontaneous expressions of faith which have b een celebrated by the p eop le over a considerable period of time. They are spontaneous b eca u se they want to an d not b eca u se th ey h a v e b een m andated by the official hierarchy, in this c a se the Roman Catholic tradition. Rodriguez illustrates in her study how and why Mexican-American wom en may perceive the im age of th e Virgin of G u ad alu p e as an em pow ering figure and not a s a source of oppression. See Rodriguez, J ea n ette (1994) Our Lady o f G uadalupe: Faith an d Empowerment Among Mexican-American Women. Austin: University of Texas Press. 18. See Smith, Dorothy (1987) The Everyday World as Problematic: A Feminist Sociology. Boston: Northeastern University Press. 19. For more detailed information on abortion in Mexico and other Latin American countries, see article by Lucfa Rayas: 'Criminalizing Abortion: A Crime Against W omen,' in Report on Sexual Politics, Volume X X X I, Number 4, January/February 1998, pp. 22-26. 20. In his ethnographic work with working class families living In a colonia popular in M exico City, anthropologist Matthew Gutmann (1996) describes how m any o f the Mexican women residing in urban locations are exposed to and read the Mexican and oldest feminist publication of popular diffusion in Latin America: fern m agazine. Gutmann also cites how workshops and cam paign s in favor of the legalization of abortion have b een reaching out these working class w om en since early 1980s. See Matthew Gutmann's book (1996), The Meanings o f Macho: Being a Man in Mexico City, pp. 93-95. 312 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. C onclusion: Gendered L a b yrin th s o f Mexicana Heterosexuality In th e N orth American movie American Beauty, sexuality is the theme flowing through th e stories of deeply emotionally wounded W hite middle class women and m en living in a suburban neighborhood. As th e husband playing th e main character, Lester (Kevin Spacey) overcomes his chronic depression after experiencing colorful sexual fantasies about A ngela—his teenage d au g h ter’s b e s t friend. A ngela (M ena Suvari), a n em otionally fragile, hypersexualized, and histrionic adolescent comes out as a virgin to Lester in th e m idst o f a painful episode. C arolyn (Annette Bening), Lester’s wife, tem porarily resolves her m arital and sexual frustrations by having an extra m arital affair. The neighbor (Chris Cooper), a fascist homophobic and "rage- oholic" ex-M arine, finally gets in touch w ith his deepest fear: his homosexual orientation. H is unresolved anger and pain gives a bloody end to the story. The least afflicted characters were two openly gay partners. The sex lives of all of these characters were unpacked as th e movie unfolded; sexuality linked m any of the stories a t multiple levels while creating sexual tensions insophisticated ways. After seeing American Beauty, I walked out of th e movie theater while reflecting about th e Mexican Beauty th a t could be w ritten w ith the endless sexual sto rie s im m igrant M exicanas an d M exicanos live invisibly to m ainstream society as their personal lives unfold in th e U nited States. This chapter condenses the social processes connected to some of these sexual 313 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. stories as reported by a group o f 40 heterosexual Mexicanas living in the city of Los Angeles. The chapter sum m arizes the findings of th is study and discusses im portant implications for other Mexican and L atina im m igrants and their family members. L Gendered Sexuality L uaaaae immigration and the reproduction of multiple Mexicana heterosexualities W hat is the impact of im m igration and U.S. life on the sex lives of heterosexual Mexican women? The heterosexual M exicanas in this study experience sexuality transform ations in th e United S tates but not in social isolation. Pre- and post-migration social and economic contexts surrounding their personal lives and experiences shape these transform ations. On one hand, th ey bring sexuality luggage containing their gendered sexual ideologies and practices previously established in their diverse and contrasting Mexican regional areas. As their personal lives unfold in the U nited States, the content of th e ir sexuality luggage d eterm ines th e n a tu re of th e ir sexuality transform ations. On the other hand, th eir sex lives are transform ed not through acculturation, but by a triad of social dimensions including: class and gender, immigration, and community. Each dimension unfolds through specific socially constructed avenues: C lass and g e n d e r highlights their socioeconomic conditions within th e context of gender relations, power and inequality. As Mexicanas obtain full-tim e paid employment and become financially autonomous, they discover m any sources of personal empowerment which helps them in turn to redefine gender relations of power. More egalitarian gender relations within m arital and family contexts offer Mexican women em ancipatory avenues to negotiate th e nature of th e ir heterosexual encounters and to improve the quality of their sex lives. 314 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Immigration identifies th e ir everyday life experiences in a sexually invasive capitalistic socioeconomic system. As they become p art of a developed society, women are exposed to the fast paced rhythm s of capitalism which translate into either sexual costs or sexual gains in their personal lives. C om m im ity refers to th e ir im m ig r a n t com m unities. As Mexicanas establish and live a perm anent life w ithin their geographically and socially segregated im m igrant barrios, th ey socially construct a M exican women’s com m unity and culture. A socially constructed discurso sexual becomes p a rt of everyday life in th ese im m igrant com m unities as women converse w ith each other about th e ir own sex lives and diverse sexuality- related topics. V ia networking, sex education presentations or platicas sobre la sexualidad, an d Spanish speaking T.V. ta lk shows, these w om en explore answers to th eir sexual difficulties, educate and help each other w ith regard to sexuality, challenge or promote sexually oppressive ideologies and practices, and actively reconstruct new social and moral standards w ith regard to female heterosexuality ideologies and practices. Mexicanas constantly unwrap, unload, and pack up again th eir sexuality luggage as th e ir sex lives in teract w ithin each one of th ese th re e social dimensions. As th ey go through th is process, they expose contrasting sexual moralities, various degrees of gender inequalities, and multiple sexual ideologies and practices governing heterosexual interactions. The m ultiple possible combinations of these interactions are countless but they are fram ed w ithin th re e c e n tra l concepts proposed in th is study: m u ltip le M exicana heterosexualities, capital fem enino, an d m achism os regionales or regional patriarchies. M exican im m ig ra n t fem ale heterosexuality is non-m onolithic. As illustrated by th e women in this study, either losing or preserving virginity 315 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. before m arriage exposed m ultiple expressions of fem ale heterosexualities moving along a bipolar paradigm identified by a p le a su re-d a n g er continuum. U nfortunately, as m an y women educated in T h ird World and developing societies, heterosexual M exicanas are more likely to be exposed to th e danger continuum , th a t is, th e m ultifold sexually oppressive social practices and ideologies controlling th e ir sexualities. Sexual violence (e.g., m a rita l an d acquaintance rape, incest, etc.), pregnancy o u t of wedlock and im m inent coercive m arriage, and intense negative feelings and emotions associated w ith th e first sexual experience, represent some of th e examples illustrating th is dynam ic. Even th o u g h only a sm all n u m b er of women in th is stu d y experienced prem arital sexual experiences as pleasurable, their testim onies highlight avenues for th e sexual em ancipation of women living in patriarchal societies. C ontesting C atholic C hurch teach in g s on fem ale sexuality, establishing a profound connection between sex and love, and developing a sense of self-confidence are some of these p ath s indicated by th is group of women. They seemed to em brace a sense of high self-esteem, self-worth, and em otional stability. For example, Graciela H ernandez reported th a t h er ex- husband raped her more th a n once a few days after th eir m arriage ceremony. H er m arriage lasted one week; she filed for a divorce immediately. Beyond the pleasure-danger continuum, preserving or losing prem arital virginity also unm asks revealing dynamics of gender inequality lin k ed to M exicana heterosexuality. A highly debated concept in Mexicana and L atin a im m ig ran t com m unities, virginity becomes connected to gendered social m eanings unrelated to th e cult of female virginity traditionally associated to Catholic religious teachings. Beyond th e undeniable oppressive n a tu re of religious ideologies, M exican women commodify virginity as a form of capital possessing a social exchange value in th e m arriag e m arket: th ey socially 316 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. construct virginity as a form of capital fem enino they can use to enhance their living conditions and opportunities. T hat is, women living in patriarchal social contexts transform prem arital virginity as a commodity th a t can be traded for financial stability and happiness v ia m arriage—a M exicana’s utm ost social mechanism of survival (Szasz and Figueroa, 1997). Accordingly, the more accentuated, th e gender inequalities in a particular social scenario (.e.g., pre industrial societies, small towns, ranchos), the higher the value of prem arital virginity as a capital femenino. This central dynamic uncovers the existence of contrasting expressions of p atriarch y w ithin both M exican society and immigrant communities. As non-m onolithic expressions of fem ale sexuality, M exicana heterosexualities coexist not in social isolation b u t in reciprocity to equally socially constructed multiple m asculinities and male heterosexualities. I use the term of m achismos regionales to identify socially constructed expressions of multiple patriarchies linked to oppressive expressions of masculinity. Women educated in rural and pre-industrial regions are exposed to rigid and more em phasized expressions of sexism and gender inequalities which I identify as m achism o rural. Women exposed to this patriarchal expression in this study live largely in pre-industrial villages or pueblos and ranchos in Jalisco. Consistently, m arriage in these peasant contexts is not based on m arital sharing and sexuality for pleasure, but rather m arriage for economic reasons and sex for reproduction purposes.1 E l robo or el rapto (kidnaping of a woman by a man) is more likely to be accepted as a ritual of courtship. Sexual violence against women in these geographical regions is m ore likely to be condoned. In contrast, women educated in urbanized areas are exposed to disguised or less emphasized gender inequalities, I identify these patriarchal expressions 317 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. w ith th e term of machismo urbano. Women, exposed to higher education and employment opportunities are more likely to have th e resources to contest sexually oppressive ideologies and practices. Even though it is still prevalent, sexual violence against women living in th ese areas is more likely to be challenged by organized women’s groups m ain ly located in larger social contexts such as Mexico City. As a non-m onolithic entity, M exicana heterosexuality is socially established in Mexico through complex m echanism s of class and gender inequality for the women in this study. Social institutions and circumstances surrounding their immigration and everyday life experiences in the U.S. further reproduce this dynamic. Even though no indigenous women participated in this study, racial and ethnic oppression p rev alen t in Mexico m ay seriously aggravate these dynamics for th is particular group of women. Regardless of their indigenous or mestizo backgrounds, for M exicanas who m igrate to th e U nited States, education and employment opportunities are conditioned by xenophobic practices, anti-im m igrant political agendas, language barriers, and racial/ethnic oppression an d segregation. Since paid em ploym ent and education m ight be directly connected to a wom an’s sex life via renegotiated gender relations, the quality of a heterosexual wom an’s sex life m ight be affected by these inescapable dynamics. Beyond the social dangers Mexicanas m ight be exposed to in the U nited States, m ultiple Mexicana heterosexualities, fem inine capital, and regional patriarchies are m utually connected and socially reproduced within th e two principal and broader contexts regulating M exican female heterosexualities: the patriarchal family and machismo. 318 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. n. The Patriarchal Family the sexuallzed female body as a family property The family, as an institution im m ersed in and in social conspiracy w ith a patriarchal society, is th e prim ary in stitu tio n th a t creates, organizes and controls gender politics governing female heterosexuality- The family is the ultim ate social channel through w hich th ese gender politics are taken into practice. Fam ily power and control are a t th e exit of th e gender maze for m any of the women in this study who go through excruciating social and emotional lab y rin th s w hile an d afte r experiencing th e ir firs t p rem a rital sexual experiences. For them , being sexually active before m arriage is more dangerous th a n pleasurable for two reasons: 1) including pregnancy due to rape, getting pregnant o u t of wedlock m ay lead a woman to coercive m arriage imposed by both or an y of her parents through a n ethic of fam ily respect designed to repair th e m oral damage done to the honor of th e family; and, 2) experiencing intercourse w ithout getting pregnant m ay not lead a woman to coercive m arriage b u t she m ay experience a deep sense of fam ily disloyalty and unpleasant feelings (e.g., feeling asham ed, fearful, guilty, am bivalent, disobedient) due to an ethic of fam ily respect safeguarded m ainly by th e m other figure. A wom an m ay rath er preserve her virginity until she gets m arried in order to protect herself from these dangerous situations. In the m eantim e, she is being expropriated from her sexualized body which is ultim ately under the power and control of h er family. A t the end, m arriage is th e least dangerous an d m orally accepted official rite of passage for a heterosexual woman in order to finally possess and explore her sexualized body and sexuality. W earing a white dress on h e r wedding day becomes p art of this ritu al: the dress is a social symbol rep resen tin g a w om an’s virginity. Accordingly, a woman m ay wear it to show respect for family. 319 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. T he sexual stories of th e women, in this stu d y unm asking family control over M exicana heterosexuality are not isolated events. Through anecdotal cases or direct personal contact, I have been consistently exposed throughout my life to parallel experiences lived by Mexicana an d L atina clients, relatives, acquaintances, and friends. I have been approached by Mexicana and L atina professionals an d colleagues who, after reviewing m y research work, have confided to me their own experiences of coercive m arriage imposed on them by th eir fam ilies due to pregnancy out of wedlock an d th eir feelings of fam ily disloyalty after experiencing prem arital intercourse. T he sexual stories in th is study are not ahistorical. They resound w ith Michel Foucault’s (1977) argum ents on exam ining historical constructions of hum an sexuality, the sexualized body as the object of power and control, and sexuality not as instinctive b u t as a concept constructed through and w ithin social practice. For heterosexual Mexicanas, th e connections between honor, female sexuality, virginity, an d b irth out of wedlock (hijos naturales) w ere essential components of a rigid code of morality during colonial years in L atin America (Twinam , 1989). Racial, class, and gender oppression prevalent in colonial societies established th e origins of th ese dynamics. For centuries, these social processes have been faithfully reproduced in every S panish speaking country of our hem isphere to this day. Finally, the most powerful avenues o f social control linked to Mexican fem ale heterosexuality and th eir sexualized bodies belongs to the family and male-defined ideologies. In th is study, I define incestuous sexual relationships as the sexual relationships between a woman and h er immediate relatives including fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, and grandfathers. D uring m y presentation a t a sexuality conference in Mexico C ity (1998 Congreso Latinoam ericano de Sexologia y Educacidn Sexual), I was questioned b y a m ale Mexican clinician 320 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. about m y definition of incest. He argued th a t incest is lim ited only to im m ediate relationships such as father and brothers. For him, uncles and cousins should not be included in the definition. H e used the sexist refran mexicano or popular M exican saying “A la p rim a se le arrim a (You can get physically/sexually close to your female cousin)” to argue th a t sex between a woman and her male cousin should not be considered incestuous. In fact, he emphasized, th a t it w as not unusual for Mexican m ales to experience sexual in itia tio n w ith th e ir fem ale cousins. The com m ent made by th is “professionally-trained” sex educator and clinician, who identified himself as a doctor, illustrates m any of the ways in which M exican society still condones and normalizes the sexual objectification of women w ithin the family context. In addition, it is equally frightening to see how these dynamics may be actively perpetuated and reproduced by sex educators and professionals working in the sexuality studies field. The m ost d isturbing and crude expression of socially regressive ideologies and practices controlling female heterosexuality in contemporary L atin American societies is th e political transform ation of ethics of fam ily honor and respect into official legal regulations controlling a woman’ s personal life. As I began to interview these women in 1997, coercive m arriage as a m easure “to repair” th e moral damage done to a wom an and her family w as still a legal practice in m any Latin American countries. As reported by the 1997 publication of Contem porary Sexuality: The International Resource for Educators, Researchers, an d Therapists'. “Laws th a t exonerate rapists who m arry th eir victims exist in Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, G uatem ala, H onduras, N icaragua, Panam a, P arag u ay , the D om inican Republic and V enezuela, according to an atto rn e y for th e C enter for Reproductive Law and Policy. In Costa Rica, a rap ist is exonerated if he only 321 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. expresses a desire to m arry h is victim, regardless of w hether or not she accepts his offer. Only a q u a rte r of rapes are reported in Peru, w here an estim ated 25,000 women are believed to be raped each year. Particularly, in poor areas, families pressure rap e victims to m arry th eir assailants because they believe a m arriage offer restores honor to both th e victim and her family. If the victim s are reluctant to go through w ith th eir m arriages, families will often tell th em th a t law says th e y m ust m arry th e ir assailants or withdraw the charges.” ( April 1997, Vol. 31, No. 4, p. 11) Overwhelmingly male, politicians leading L atin American nations do not overthrow socially regressive legislatures in a period of two years especially regulations affecting women, aging populations, homosexuals, indigenous groups, socially marginalized an d poor people, and children. But these and other oppressive practices are n o t foreign to L atinas living in th e U nited States. P opular culture publications edited by and for U.S. L atinas have discussed th is problem. For instance, L a tin a m agazine published the article “M arry th e R apist or Live in Sham e” in its May 1999 issue. Collective gender and social consciousness m ay help to act locally and think globally and generate research on this particular issue. F em inist informed research on sexual violence against Latina women will dissem inate knowledge to hum an rights and women’ s organizations challenging these socially regressive legal regulations a t an international level. HL Contesting Oppressive Family Ethics generation versus acculturation Do never-married and childless Mexicanas who m igrate independently to the U.S. experience absence of parental control over th eir sex lives? For the women in th is study, absence of p atria rc h al fam ily control over th e ir sexualities helps them to develop personal autonom y over their sex lives. 322 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Personal isolation, geographical distance from parents, and a sense of personal freedom experienced in th e new land, create safe circumstances for some of these women to reclaim th e ir sex lives as th e y rebel against oppressive sexual ideologies. The lite ra tu re on M exican im m ig ran t women offers parallel dynamics to those exposed by the women who m igrated independently in my study. In h er book G endered Transitions, Hondagneu-Sotelo (1994), exposes two similar phenom ena in th e lives of her single female inform ants: 1) single childless women m igrating to the United S tates often experience debilitated patriarchal family constraints on their behavior; and, 2) single women w ithout the support of a fam ily m ay establish a relationship w ith a m an and move in with him as a survival strategy. W hat happens to single women who m igrate to the U.S. and move in with their extended fam ily relatives? The fam ily authority figures in charge of observing sexual m orality in Mexico (i.e., parents) m ay transfer th eir moral power through transnational networking to extended family authority figures living in the U nited States. This way, los tios (uncles) and las tias (aunts) of single im m igrant women m ay become the am bassadors of sexual m orality in charge of controlling and confiscating h er sexuality. However, women m ay become aw are of new and debilitated loyalties: original family control over a woman’ s sexuality stem s from an immediate fam ily member (i.e., father and/or mother), and los tios and las tia s, as p art of th e extended family, do n o t have the same rights, power, and/or moral au th o rity to dem and sexual obedience from a niece. A wom an m ay owe some type of respect and obedience to her tios. However, w hen it comes to her sexuality and m oral obedience, the woman m ay create new and m ore perm issive ethics of fam ily loyalty and respect linked to her sex life w hile contesting morally debilitated family loyalties. In the 323 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. new country, a sense of anonym ity and isolation m ay help h er to further enhance th is dynamic. In general, the experiences of these women expand on the literature on immigration and Mexican women which examines how a patriarchal ideology is weakened b y a “transference of power” from the m igrant m ale to th e wife who stays behind (Gonzalez de la Rocha, 1989) and by d ie independence gradually developed a n d practiced by w om en due to th e ir h u sb an d s’ absence (Hond agneu-S otelo, 1994). Besides debilitated family ethics, an additional mechanism exposes the non-static an d contestable n a tu re of fam ily ethics controlling female heterosexuality. Motherhood is a malleable vehicle for sexual transformation as women educate their daughters w ith regard to sexuality in the U nited States. In th is study, mothers transform a punishing ethic of respect for the family into a n ethic of protection for their daughters. While resolving their own unfinished issues as women, m others examine th eir personal ideologies w ith regard to prem arital virginity. Via motherhood, they pass these prescriptions onto th eir daughters. Based on th e type of m achism os regionales they were exposed to in Mexico, mothers would assign for th eir daughters a higher or lower value to prem arital virginity as a form of capital fem enino. To w h at extent are generation and regional patriarchies and, to w hat exdent are im m igration and U.S. life responsible for sexuality transitions across generations? All of them seem to be m utually interlocking forces. As a m other review s previously learned sexuality precepts, h er exposure to a specific form of regional patriarchy will interact w ith the specific changes she experiences in the U.S. such as learning more about sex via education received from community-based agencies, networking w ith other Latinas, and from the media w ithin th e imm igrant community. This type of complex interaction may 324 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. determ ine th e degree an d type of sex u ality transform ations M exican im m igrant mothers experience and reproduce as they educate th eir daughters w ith regard to sex. B u t this type of interaction m ay be im pacted by m any additional factors including the ways in w hich Mexican im m ig ra n t women define and experience “modernity” within th eir communities and th eir families, and the consequences on their perceptions of sexuality and th eir actual sex lives. Lastly, motherhood exposes the gendered mechanisms (e.g., double m orality standards) an d traps through w hich m others either reproduce or contest sexism as th ey educate both th eir daughters and sons in th e U.S. M others exposed to cross-cultural differences in the U.S. m ay experience changes in th e ways th e y perceive fem ale heterosexuality. However, regardless of the cultural context, a woman’ s sexuality is usually governed by male defined codes of conduct regulating female heterosexuality. IV. Machismo socially learned male-defined ideologies and practices From least to most, emphasized degrees of control, the women in this study have been exposed to sexist ideologies and practices regulating their sexualities. Depending on the nature and characteristics of the m achismos regionales to which th ey were exposed, th e ir sex fives were conditioned differently by these gendered prescriptions. A t times, these prescriptions had a powerful impact on a woman’s sex fife; a t tim es, these prescriptions were not as intense. An illustration of the first dynamic in this study is illustrated by the women who report th a t they preserved th eir virginity until m arriage as a protection from a socially learned fear of machismo represented by the expression: “H usbands throw it in your face w hen you are not a virgin.” Women who were not virgins at m arriage due to sexual violence experienced 325 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. earlier in their lives (e.g., incest, rape) report the circumstances under which th eir husbands would complain to them about not being virgins a t m arriage. M ostly educated in sm all towns and pre-industrialized regions, these women were exposed to these oppressive expressions of ru ral sexism. Women from Mexico C ity m ay be exposed a t tim es to sim ilar dynam ics. However, as previously discussed, u rb an contexts m ay provide them w ith th e resources to co n test th ese p ractices (e.g. education, paid em ploym ent, w om en’s organizations). Are Mexicanas who m igrate to the U nited States no longer exposed to these expressions of sexism? For Mexican im m igrant women, m igrating to the U nited States does not necessarily tran slate into improvement in their living conditions. The M exican im m igrant community, a potential safety haven protecting its m em bers, m ay be transform ed by an in terestin g type of transnational m achism o into a dangerous social scenario th reaten in g th e personal safety and im pacting the sex lives of Mexican im m igrant women.2 W ithin th e im m igrant com munity, some social spaces w here dangerous m achista or sexist practices well-learned in Mexico are faithfully reproduced and promoted as p art of social life. Sexual violence w ithin the contexts of th e family of origin (e.g., incest), m arriage (e.g., m arital rape), and other dangerous social circumstances (e.g., gang rape) affect M exican im m igrant women. After I collected and analyzed my data, I joined the Los Angeles Commission on A ssaults A gainst Women (LACAAW) to continue w ith my clinical training. I conducted individual and group psychotherapy w ith Latina im m ig ran t survivors of domestic and sexual violence a t LACAAW as p a rt of a nine-m onth clinical intem ship.3 Most of these women lived in im m igrant barrios in th e Los Angeles area. 326 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. B ased on LACAAW’s sta tistica l re p o rts, m em bers of th e Latino com m unity requested th e following services during th e agency’s 1997-1998 fiscal year: Number of persons: Type of service offered to them by L A C A A W : 3,855 Crisis intervention due to sexual assault 2,553 Domestic violence related services 1,441 Youth related services According to C athy Friedman, LACAAW’s Associate Director - G rants and Operation, 95% of th e clients receiving th ese services were women. Most of them identified m en as th e ir offenders; 90% of these crimes a re usually intraethnic. T hat is, assau lt takes place betw een a m ale offender victimizing a fem ale of his same ethnic or racial background. Ms. Friedman explained th a t m any of the survivors requesting services a t th e agency usually do n o t report crim es to the Los Angeles Police D epartm ent (L.A.P.D.). In a 1996 report, Ms. F riedm an indicated th a t 232 forcible rape crim es were reported in E ast Los Angeles. In contrast, a to tal of 6,084 dom estic violence related calls were received by the L A P .D . from th e same area.4 W ithout th e intention of promoting negative images of Mexican/Latino m en, it is im portant to address the m any ways in which hegemonic expressions of sexism still oppress M exican and other L atinas in real life and w ithin their im m ig ran t com m unities. An expression of tran sn a tio n a l sexism m akes possible these expressions of oppression across borders. V. The C atholic Church on internalized source of guilt and shame The testim onies offered by th e women in th is study m ake orthodox Church-blaming discourses difficult to sustain as th e exclusive or m ajor source of social control over M exicana heterosexuality. W ithin the field of sociology of 327 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. sexualities, M exicana sexuality studies cannot afford being decontextualized from th e everyday life social practices and experiences connected to th eir sex lives. Among these socially constructed contexts we find th e following: class and gender relations, family life, socioeconomic conditions, community life, social networks, media, and the ways in which organized religion is interpreted and experienced by women. T h at is, it is essential to stu d y up how female heterosexuality is constructed w ithin the structure of power of society and its institutions including ecclesiastical organizations. The overwhelming majority of the women in this study were educated in the Catholic faith. The punishing and oppressive n ature of Catholic sexual m orality was n o t by any means denied by them. The testim onies of women who identified religion as the source of guilt, sham e, and rem orse while contesting religious morals confirm this fact, e.g., losing their prem arital virginities, having or imaging an abortion, challenging socially progressive changes identified in La Carta a l Papa, etc. However, women experience Catholic religious guilt and sham e as a subjective or internalized [personal, private] expression of control over th eir sex lives. Eventually, a Catholic woman m ay confess her sins and be forgiven by a male figure representing the Church. In contrast, family control (e.g., coercive m arriage) and socially learned fear of m ale defined ideologies and practices (e.g., “Men throw it in your face when you are not a virgin”) m ay become externalized [social, public], pragmatic, and unmerciful forms of female heterosexuality control. In theory, the Catholic C hurch formulates m oral values th at are sexually oppressive to heterosexual Mexicanas. B ut in practice, family and male defined codes of sexual conduct establish gender politics linked to Mexicana heterosexuality. Potentially, fam ilies and men could use religious morality in order to enforce their own ethics. A t the end, women m ay either conform or contest the result 328 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. of ail these dynamics. Then, they would decipher their sex lives between both extremes: pleasure and danger. In sum, a M exican woman m ay avoid prem arital sex, abortion, or contesting religious teachings due to its em otionally and morally disturbing consequences. B ut th is dynamic m ay be n either an exclusive nor an isolated one controlling h er decision. As illustrated by th e women in this study, a woman’ s heterosexuality is constructed and controlled by, through, and w ithin complex gendered social mechanisms. While consistently promoting socially progressive changes w ithin the Church, a comprehensive understanding and integration of each an d every one of the social forces controlling M exicana heterosexuality m ay highlight new avenues for social change through gendered parenting skills and sex education programs designed by professionals working at public schools, agencies, clinics, and community based institutions serving Mexican and Latino populations. VI. The Expropriation of the Sexualized Body implications for Mexicanas and their reproductive health “ E l me cuida” or “He takes care of me” was a common response used by m any women in this study to explain th at condom use was their contraceptive m ethod of choice. A n expression th a t m ight be interpreted as caring an d loving, it rather reflects th e dynamics through which a woman m ay learn to experience her heterosexual encounters w ithin a hierarchical relationship of dependency, inequality, and lack of power and control. If Mexican women learn to disow n control over th e ir sexualized bodies, w hat is the social and psychological significance of this dynamic on th e ir reproductive and sexual health? If the feminine body of las Mexicanas is constructed by society as a family and male property, w hat implications do these gender politics have on a 329 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. wom an's sen se of ow nership over b o th h er sexualized body an d h e r reproductive health? Academics a t the Transborder Consortium for R esearch and Action on Gender and Reproductive H ealth on th e MexLco-U.S. Border have reported th a t cervical cancer (the second m ost common cancer in female populations in the world) moved up w ithin the la st six decades from the 24th to the 2nd position as a cause of d eath in Mexican women (Mendez Brown de Galaz, 1998).5 The incidence of this disease is 4 tim es higher in Mexico th a n in the U nited States; disease rates for women of Mexican origin living in the U nited States are higher than for non-Mexican (Giuliano, 1998). Even though th e specific risks of such a striking incidence have been explored (e.g., m alnutrition, vaginal infections, lack of m edical services, inappropriate testing, etc.), research ers a t th e consortium have addressed the need for research about th e im pact of th e gendered ways in which women learn to take care of th eir sexualized bodies on their reproductive health. The sam e dynamics need to be explored w ith regard to cervical cancer, HIV/AIDS, other sexually tran sm itted diseases, b reast cancer, teenage pregnancy, family planning, abortion, and other sexuality- related health issues and concerns affecting Mexican women. How does a patriarchal society express its property rights over a woman’s sexualized body? F irst, com m unity educators w orking w ith imm igrant women m ay have more th a n one of the answers. Reyna Campos, a lead community sex educator w orking w ith L atina im m ig ran t women a t CUnica Para L as Am ericas (CPLA), paraphrased during a n interview w ith me some of these wom en’s excuses to refuse having a m am m ogram as p a rt of breast cancer prevention programs: “ N o puede verme otra persona, solo me ha visto m i esposo (Nobody else can see me, only m y h usband h as seen me).” CPLA is a 10-year-old community based, nonprofit licensed free clinic providing 330 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. health-related services to an an n u al average o f30,000 low income Latinas and Latinos living in the Los Angeles inner-city area im m igrant com m unity. In the sum m er o f 1999, CPLA issu ed certificates of completion to 165 L atin a im m igrants who attended its 12-week gender-sensitive sex education program called E ntre M ujeresy S u s Parejas (Between W omen and their Partners). Second, linguistic taboos m ay be m asking additional answ ers. The social use of th e term s senorita and senora is determ ined by specific social contexts exposing p a rtic u la r aspects of a w om an’s sexuality a n d h e r reproductive health. Their use in social contexts exposes sophisticated and revealing linguistic prohibitions prevalent in M exican society. The term senorita possesses m eaningful m oral and sexual implications. A young girl becomes a senorita after she has her first period and her sexualized body leads her into adolescence. L ater in life, she rem ains a senorita as a young single woman who officially becomes a senora w hen she gets m arried. Being a senorita m eans being single and therefore being a virgin. It is always seen as offensive to use senora to refer to a woman who is still a senorita [read: virgin], because it would imply she had lost h er virginity and th a t she is sexually active. Since sexual activity transform s a senorita into a senora, it is seen as morally an d politically correct to use senorita to refer to a woman whose m arital sta tu s is unknown. My personal experience during a trip in 1998 to M onterrey, Nuevo Leon—m y hometown in Mexico—reflects an interesting dynamic. D uring my stay in Mexico, I had both m y annual pap sm ear and a m ammogram exams done. W hile looking for estim ates by telephone and in person, and later on while being examined, consistently— without asking m e if I was single or m arried—secretaries, nurses, medical assistants, and doctors referred to me as Senora G onzalez. I have never been married, but a senorita, as a single and therefore a virgin woman, would have never requested a pap 331 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. smear. Only a senora, as a m arried and sexually active woman, could have requested this type of medical service. A senorita socially disowns and does not possess control over both her sexualized body and her reproductive health.6 Now, as a M exicana gets older, how do p atriarch al rights over her gradually declining sexualized body get expressed? How does a senora take care of her body w hen it is no longer socially controlled as a potentially productive body (i.e., not being able to get pregnant) or desexualized and socially devalued as a feminine body (i.e., not sexually attractive)? How do women who are no longer in a reproductive age perceive their bodies and th eir reproductive health? P art of this gendered puzzle m ight be hiding in the fact th a t 35% of cervical cancer deaths happen to M exicanas over 65 years old (Mendez Brown de Galaz, 1998). Fem inist paradigms like the one I have presented are useful to analyze the m any ways in which the reproductive health and other health issues affecting Mexicanas a t different life stages are bound up w ith social contexts promoting fem ale subordination an d gender oppression. They also offer alternative avenues to explore ways in which they can renegotiate oppressive gender relations in order to reclaim and possess control over their bodies, their sexuality, and both their emotional and m ental health. V II. Implications for Clinical Practice feminist therapy with Mexican and Latino families Fem inist scholarship has made im portant contributions to the academic development of other disciplines such as psychotherapy. Fem inist reviews of family th erap y prom pted the em ergence of fem inist fam ily therapy in the 1970s. The la tte r has challenged conventional therapeutic models th a t tend to ignore gender an d power issues, to intensify women’s sense of emotional inadequacy, and to utilize clinical interventions th at promote gender oppression 332 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. and interfere w ith emotional healing of women and their families.? Similarly, fem inist L atina academics have addressed the im portance of a comprehensive understanding of race, class, gender, citizenship, culture, and language as crucial for the appropriate clinical trea tm en t of L atinas.8 B ased on th e findings of the present study and my own clinical experience, I identify th e following four themes in order to offer recom m endations for gender sensitive and effective clinical work w ith Mexican/Latina women and their families. A. Immigratimi and Family I ,ifk Tranaitinna F or a better clinical understanding of a M exicana client, it is crucial to conduct in-depth exploration of issues w ith regard to family history before and after m igration. Some of these issues can be explored while addressing particular questions with a Mexicana client: 1. The reasons for migration QUESTIONS: W hat are the various reasons w hy you m igrated to the U.S. ? How d id fam ily members react to this transition ? 2. The stages and type of fam ily m igration arrangem ents QUESTIONS: In the fam ily, who m igrated fir st? D id fa th er migrate first, then mother and ch ild ren ? D id the wom an migrate by herself and left children w ith her parents livin g in Mexico? How have these transitions im pacted your fam ily, emotional, and sex lives? 3. A woman’s exposure to geographic an d socioeconomic contexts and their corresponding ideologies (e.g., type of m achism o regional) prior to migration QUESTIONS: W hat d id you learn about sex in your fam ily a n d in the com m unity in w hich you were educated? How did th a t m ake you feel? How does it make you feel now ? W hat do you th in k about it? 333 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 4. The im pact of post-migration experiences and daily life experiences on a woman’s emotional and sexual life QUESTIONS: How has yo u r em otional life changed after m igrating a n d establishing a perm anent life in the U.S. ? W hy do you think th is h as happened? How do these changes m ake you feel? 5. The changes in family life (quality and structure) before and after establishing a perm anent life in th e U.S. QUESTIONS: How has your fa m ily life changed after m igrating? How h a s th is impacted you em otionally? 6. The emotional, moral, and financial support system(s) before and after migrating QUESTIONS: Who do you usually talk to w hen you need help or you have a personal problem? Do you look for frien d s or relatives? In w h a t w ays does th a t help you ? 7. The emotional investm ent involved during and after the migration process (e.g., exploration of losses of family members, financial stability, friends, etc., and their corresponding grief processes) QUESTIONS: Have you ever experienced feeling o f loss and sadness after m igrating to the U.S. ? When? How often? W hat have you done abou t these feelings ? H ow do you copew ith these feelings ? Refer to m y interview guide (Appendix) for additional questions on these particular areas. For example, a Mexicana educated in social contexts characterized by intense forms of gender inequality (e.g., sm all town) m ay require a special level of clinical sensitivity. The therapist m ay need to gradually explore th e most appropriate way to help her establish connections betw een h er socioeconomic background, her em otional problems, and th e healing process. Similarly, while 334 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. conducting sexual histories and sex therapy w ith a woman educated in these social contexts, it is im portant to reflect and norm alize the feelings the client m ay experience as p art of th is process. As th e th erap ist learns about the m oral and social regulations controlling female heterosexuality in the client’ s place of origin and im m ig ra n t com m unity, it is im portant not to create models of psychological adjustm ent from W esternized perspectives about fem ale sexuality. Besides its ethnocentric n atu re, th is ris k of psychotherapy m alpractice m ight stim ulate feelings of emotional and social inadequacy in a client. A t th e end, psychotherapy becomes successful if it is transform ed into a judgm ent-free anthropological venture: a therapist immerses her/him self in a sensitivity process while learn in g and exploring a woman’ s psychosexual development as s/he helps a M exicans to establish connections between her in tim ate feelings and em otional wounds associated to her sex life. The M exicans client may develop a sense of gender aw areness as she explores the in tim ate processes connecting h e r sex life and th e social and economic conditions in which she was educated and where she currently lives. As p a rt of this experience, she m ay develop a sense of personal empowerment as she explores alternatives to reclaim and develop control over her em otional, personal, and sex lives. A M exican/Latina woman and her family m em bers may enhance th e quality of their emotional lives w hen the therapist helps them to challenge and disrupt fam ily life patterns th a t are oppressive to women, th a t h u rt the emotional life of the entire family, and th at promote toxic family patterns in future generations. In couple and family therapy w ith heterosexual couples, men m ay benefit by exploring and developing adaptive and functional non- hegem onic expressions of both th eir m asculinities and their em otional capacities attached to these m asculine identities. In their relationships as 335 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. partners and fathers, heterosexual m en m ay grow emotionally as they explore non-misogynous ways of enhancing the quality of their personal lives with their partners and fam ilies. This process m ay help to transform th e entire traditional m atern al responsibility for em otional h ealth and behavior of children into a g reater emotional involvem ent on a fath er’ s part. It m ay eventually tra n s la te into N ancy Chodorow’s vision (1978) of g reater “m othering” on m en’s p art and h ealth ier definitions of m asculinity and femininity for future generations of Mexican and Latino children. B. T .imniiatip. Therapeutic Tools Both languages, Spanish and English, are im portant variables in conducting psychotherapy with Mexicanas and other L atinas. For instance, Olivia Espin (1987) states th a t Spanish rem ains the language of emotions because it was in Spanish th at affective or emotional meanings were originally imprinted. Accordingly, in my clinical work w ith Mexicanas and other Latina im m igrants, I have learned th at original childhood trau m a and unresolved emotional issues for m any of them were established in Spanish. In my clinical work w ith survivors of multiple incest and rape, I have learned th a t bilingual women m ay effectively use English as a defense m echanism in order to distance them selves from the original trau m a which w as experienced in Spanish during childhood in their L atin American countries and/or in the U.S. w ithin th eir Spanish-speaking fam ilies of origin. Thus, a th erap ist m ay sensitively use Spanish as a clinical strategy to help a client to identify feelings (e.g., pain, sham e, anger) attached to th e original traum a as an im portant avenue leading to healing. Simultaneously, since im portant emotions for these clients were established in Spanish (e.g., shame), a therapist can effectively use English to create a safe and comfort zone for a client in order to facilitate in-depth exploration of sexuality-related issues. For instance, I have learned 336 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. th a t bilingual L atina clients make use of English i n order to discuss topics th a t perhaps were forbidden in th eir first language. N one of my study participants fell into this category, b u t in m y clinical w ork I have learned th a t m any S panish speaking women would use bad words in English to express th eir feelings or to discuss controversial issues (e.g., sex). Because of the em otional and m oral m eanings attached to these expressions in Spanish, a client m ay use E nglish as a w ay to cope w ith anxiety or discomfort. Thus, E nglish m ay symbolically give women some type of “emotional permission” to explore these issues. Based on th is dynamic, Salgado de Snyder (1987) and Espfn (1987) have suggested th a t a selective use of English an d Spanish in th erap y can enable a client to explore sensitive issues such as sexuality. Thus, bilingualism and a keen awareness of its clinical uses (i.e., switching back and forth between E n g lish and S p a n ish as needed) rep rese n t im p o rtan t tools for th e psychotherapeutic treatm en t of Mexicanas and other Latinas. C. Group Psychotherapy and Community Support Groups The impact of social networking on the sex lives of Mexicanas highlights the im portance of identifying group psychotherapy as a technique to achieve success in the trea tm en t of Latinas. Based on th is study’s findings and m y own clinical experience, an all-Latina female group form at facilitates dialogue, em otional connectedness, and healing. In addition, therapists who conduct L atina women’s support groups a t community-based institutions (e.g., schools, hospitals, clinics) located in inner city barrios facilitate the em powerm ent of these women’s im m igrant families (Gonzalez-Lopez & Taylor, 1997). L atinas often b etter learn to value them selves and other women as a result of group m em bership (Vasquez, 1994). It h as been suggested by B utler (1985) th a t the all-women group model enables women to: a) validate each other’s strengths; b) develop m utual support systems; c) break down feelings of 337 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. isolation; and d) help each other perceive various possibilities for growth. F urtherm ore, a process of m utual identification is facilitated w hen the therapist and th e group members are all of th e same sex and ethnicity. There is always th e potential for the therapist an d group members to serve as role models. Issues th a t have been culturally prohibited from direct and open expression, such as feelings about womanhood and anger toward sig n ificant others, are m ore likely to be discussed in a n all-Latina female group format (Comas-Diaz, 1987). Lastly, fem inist th erap y approaches have proven to be successful in group w ork w ith Latina im m ig ra n ts (Comas-Dlaz, 1988). D. Gender attd Intraethnic Sensitivity A M exican/Latina woman survivor of sexual violence m ay benefit from learning about sexual violence against w om en (e.g., incest, acquaintance, m arital and gang rape, etc.) from a social perspective of gender and class inequality. Therapeutic models th at address sexual violence against women as a social problem prom oted and condoned by sexist societies help female clients to dim inish a sense of personal responsibility for their own victimization, to reduce feelings of sham e and guilt, and to facilitate em otional healing. Similarly, a M exican/Latina woman may im prove her sense of identity when she explores h e r personal relationship w ith h er own body and h e r sense of ownership. W hen appropriate, a psycho-educational approach m ay help a woman to evolve em otionally from perceiving her need to guard h e r body or seeing her body as an object to serve m en to a sense of personal control, autonomy, self-care, and possession of h er body, sexuality and reproductive health. And lastly, a M exican a/Latina m ay experience healing w hen her th erap ist norm alizes an d validates her confusion, anxiety, and em otional distress due to th e potential contradictions underlying the practice of religious beliefs and h e r search for sexual autonom y and control. A w om an may 338 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. experience healing when she explores alternative ways to reframe and redefine h er spiritual relationships w ith religious entities from new emancipatory and liberating perspectives. Lastly, there are im portant considerations to discuss about M exicanas w hen com pared to other L atinas. F irst, L atin as possess rem ark ab le intragroup differences w ith regard to demographics and economic distribution th a t characterize the various subgroups composing the 32 million Latinos and L atinas living in the U nited States. The m ajority of Latin Americans are of Mexican descent (approximately 64%), Central/South American (13%), Puerto Rican (11%), Cuban (5%), and O ther Latin A m erican origin (7%).9 Three- quarters of all persons of Latino origin live in five states: California, Texas, Florida, New York and Illinois (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1994). And second, in traeth n ic diversity among Latino groups can be traced to th eir various modes of incorporation into U.S. society which is closely associated w ith specific historical events, i.e., loss of the Southwest for Mexicans, annexation to th e U.S.A. for Puerto Ricans, exile for C ubans, forced and voluntary im m igration for Central and South American refugees, etc. These historical differen ces—along w ith contem porary an d m ore recen t m ig ra tio n p a ttern s—are essential in understanding their initial placement w ithin the N orth A m erican economy, th e ir different trajecto ries of socioeconomic progress, and the corresponding social and economic contexts shaping L atina im m igrants’ sex lives. Thus, even though L atinas m ay speak th e sam e language or share some commonalities with regard to their historical background (e.g., Spanish conquest), their pre- and post-m igration socioeconomic contexts will define strikingly different sexuality transitions as part of th eir immigrant experience. For example, a Cuban im m igrant woman living in Miami who is politically 339 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. protected by a conservative right wing in th e new land might feel more inclined to support ideologies th a t challenge pro-choice in itiativ es an d behave accordingly. T hus, both psychotherapeutic and intraethnic sensitivity are im portant in our clinical work w ith L atin American women living in th e United States. Regardless, social change m ay happen in the privacy of a clinical scenario as clinicians avoid replicating th e various socially constructed forms of oppression M exican/Latina women have been exposed to in th eir everyday life experiences. In this way, fem inist psychotherapy m ay be perceived as one more expression of social activism. VHL What About the Men? multiple masculinities, multiple male heterosexualities I have been asked countless tim es about Mexican m en a t m ost of my conference, lecture, and workshop presentations. “W hat about th e men? We interviewed Mexican men in E ast LA . and they said th at they really don’ t care if women are virgins or not when they get m arried,” a female researcher stated after I finished presenting a paper on virginity a t the 1997 T hinking Gender conference in UCLA I thought about the m en as well. As I conducted m y interview s, I fantasized about interviewing each one of the m en invisibly p resen t in the sexual stories told by the 40 women; I thought about how these m en’ s own sex lives had been socially constructed. I thought about the m en being reported by the women as engaging in sexually oppressive practice and ideologies. Then, I thought about th e few male sexual offenders I have worked w ith as a clinician and their own sexual victimization as children. I thought about each m an being reported in th is study as em bracing non-sexist expressions of m asculinity. Then, I thought about m y caring and sensitive M exican and 340 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Latino m en clients who have reported nev er being physically or sexually abusive to a woman or a child. Inevitably, I thought about th e m en in my family: m y younger brother cleaning m y apartm ent, cooking, and w ashing the dishes while I worked on this dissertation; m y older brother ironing his shirts while getting read y for his busy job schedule as a m anager in m y highly industrialized M exican hometown; and, m y fath er fixing mole an d rice for me during m y Christm as visits to Mexico. Consequently, I thought about the need to continue w ith m y own learning about th e social, economic, historical, cultural, and psychological complexities linked to the construction of Mexican masculinities and th eir respective sexuality expressions. As I th o u g h t about each one of th e se men, I confirm ed th e non- monolithical nature of Mexican society w ith regard to the social construction of m u ltip le fe m in in itie s an d m a sc u lin itie s an d th e ir co rresp o n d in g heterosexualities. Some of these forms of m asculinities m ay n o t necessarily prom ote sexually oppressive practices a g a in st women (C onnell, 1995; G utm ann, 1996). For example, for non-sexist Latino m en reported in this study (e.g., m en involved with women who described pleasurable prem arital sexual experiences; and, m en th a t women in th e study eventually m et in Los Angeles and w ith whom they developed h ealth y sexual relationships), their masculinities and m asculine identities m ay b e associated w ith th e ir preference to m arry a non-virgin as a way to enjoy a m ore sophisticated sex life or as a legitim ate respect for women. As I revised m y exam inations w ith Professor P ierrette Hondagneu- Sotelo (my d issertatio n Chair), I reflected on her observations. M any questions emerged: How are male heterosexualities socially constructed by M exican society? W h at would M exican m en have to say about th e ways female heterosexualities are socially constructed by the same society? W hat 341 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. are the personal, emotional, and sexual costs Mexican m en pay because of these social prescriptions? Some of them m ay include: 1) m en not having access to sexual partners due to th e cult of virginity; 2) m en being forced themselves by th e woman’ s fam ily to m arry someone they m ight not love but “got pregnant” by accident; 3) m en not being allowed to explore sexuality during courtship w ith th e woman th ey love because of ethics of family respect; and, 4) homophobia. W hat are the connections between th e father-son relationship an d M exicano heterosexuality? Is sex only about power? If fem ale heterosexualities move along a pleasure-danger continuum , w h at is the equivalent of this continuum for Mexican heterosexual men? W hat are male heterosexuality’s vulnerabilities for a m an who is educated in a patriarchal society? How does p atria rc h y castigate specific m ale heterosexuality expressions? Is it phallocentric definitions of sexuality? e.g. love m aking is only about penile penetration. Is it about sexual perform ance or emotional intim acy during th e heterosexual act? Does th a t create some power for women? How do they affect women's sexuality? Why? To w hat extent? W hat about heterosexual Mexican im m igrant men? Their sexual stories are yet to be explored and articulated. There are m ultiple expressions of heterosexual encounters, but there are always two versions of it: one is told by th e woman, the other one is told by the man. W ithout attem pting to reproduce stereotyped images of Mexican m en, this study is an academic effort to explore w hat Mexicanas have to say about their own female heterosexualities. As an analogy, I attem pted to become the social gynecologist of Mexican im m igrant female heterosexuality. Others, without excluding myself, shall follow the path I am trying to b reak and explore how heterosexual Mexicanos unpack their sexuality luggage while constructing m ultiple social m eanings associated to m ale heterosexuality. As a heterosexual Mexicana and an im m igrant, I felt 342 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. com pelled to b reak th e silence w ith th e se 40 stories about M exicana heterosexuality, sexual stories th a t go through unimaginable social landscapes be>ondthebed sheets andbeyond the borders between Mexico andtheUnited States. NOTES 1. Similar findings have b een found in other areas of Mexico, in her study with wom en living in rural areas in the state of Hidalgo. Ivonne Szasz (1997:172) concludes that a w om an's sexuality is more linked to reproductive purposes than to sexual a g e n c y and pleasure. See Szasz, Ivonne. 1997. G§nero y valores sexuales. Un estudio d e caso entre un grupo de mujeres mexicanas. Estudios Demogrdficos y Urbanos, Vol. 12, Numeros 1 y 2, pp. 155-176. 2. Transnational machismo is a term I am adapting from the concept “transnational motherhood" utilized by Hondagneu-Sotelo and Avila. In their article “I am here, but I am there: the Meanings of Latina Transnational Motherhood," Hondagneu-Sotelo and Avila (1997) utilize this c o n cep t to exam ine the mothering arrangements and their underlying motherhood meanings that are actively created by Latina immigrants across the miles and beyond international borders in order to take care of and/or provide for their children who remain behind in their countries of origin. 3. LACAAW, a 29-year-old feminist nonprofit agen cy, was the first community-based organization providing hotline crisis intervention services to rape survivors living in the Los A ngeles area. 4. Statistical data was obtained from 1998-1999 State of the County Report. United Way of Greater Los Angeles. This report's sources of information include the following: Statistical Digest 1996, Los Angeles Police Department, Information Resources Division Statistical Unit. California Criminal Justice Profile 1996; California Department of Justice, Division of Criminal Justice Information Services. Criminal Justice Statistic Center; and. Year in Review 1996, County of Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. 5. The Transborder Consortium for R esearch an d Action on G ender an d Reproductive Health on the Mexico-U.S. Border is constituted by academ ic institutions located in Mexico (E l Colegio de la Frontera Norte and E l Coiegio d e Sonora) an d in the United States (Southwest Institute for Research on Women-University of Arizona). 6. S ee the book Cautiverios d e las mujeres: madresposas, monjas. putas. presas y locas by Marcela Lagarde (1997) for an interesting analysis of the social dynam ics linked to the use of the term sehorita. 7. 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In Sexuality & M arriage in Colonial L a tin A m erica, edited by A suncion Lavrin. Lincoln an d London: U n iv ersity o f N ebraska P ress. Vance, C arole S. 1984. Pleasure a n d Danger: Exploring Fem ale Sexuality. Boston: Routledge and K egan P aul. Vasquez, M elba J . T. 1994. L atin as. In Women o f Color: Integrating E thnic and G ender Identities in Psychotherapy, edited by L illian Comas Diaz and B everly Greene, pp. 114-138. New Y ork and London: T he Guilford P ress. W eeks, Jeffrey. 1985. Sexuality a n d Its D iscontents. London: Routledge. Wilson, Fiona. 1990. De la casa a l taller: M ujeres, trabajo y close social en la in d u stria textU yd elv estid o . Santiago Tangam andapio. Zamora: E l Colegio de M ichoacan. Woo M orales, O felia. 1995. L as m ujeres m exicanas indocum entadas en la m igration in tern atio n al y la m ovilidad tran sfro n teriza. In Gonzalez, Ruiz, V elasco, and Woo M orales, Mujeres, M igraciony M aquila en la Frontera, pp. 65-87. 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In The G ender-Sexuality Reader: Culture, H istory, P olitical Economy, edited by Roger N. L an caster and M icaela Di Leonardo. New York: Routledge. 359 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. A PPE N D IX INTERVIEW GUIDE English version Note: T he interview questions th a t w ere n o t exam ined in th is dissertation (e.g., section VI - sexuality, AIDS, and sexually tran sm itted diseases; and section X - participants’ reactions to th e some of th e vignettes) have n o t been included in th is interview guide. I. Sexuality: general concepts 1. How com fortable do you feel by know ing th a t you are going to be talk in g w ith m e about topics related to sexuality? 2. W hat m otivates you to participate in th is study? 3. In sim ple term s, how would you define th e term s “sexuality” and “virginity”? 4. Tell m e..., how you were raised to feel about sex? II. Religion and sexuality 1. In w hat religion w ere you raised? 2. W hat beliefs about sex did your religion teach you? 3. Did you believe these? Why? W hy not? 4. Do you still believe these? Why? W hy not? 1U. Sex education in the home 1. W ere you allow ed to ask questions about or discuss sexual topics w hile grow ing up at home? W ith whom? When? A t w h at age? Tell me about these experiences. 2. How did your m other, father or th e person in charge of your education (grandm other, aunt, godm other, etc.) respond to these questions? Do you rem em ber some examples? 3. If you w ere a little girl all over again, know ing w hat you know now, would you like to change th e w ay you would be educated in regard to sexuality? Why? How? 4. If you had a daughter, w hat type of sex education would you give to her? Why? 360 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. IV. Puberty and adolescence 1. W hen you first learned about reproduction... How old were you? How did you learn about it? Who told you? How did you react? 2. In reg ard to your m enstruation... W hen did you have it? How did you feel about it? 3. A t w h a t age did you s ta rt to date? 4. W hat k in d of em otional relationship did you have w ith someone before you got physically involved? 5. W hen w as th e first tim e you h a d intercourse? W hat feelings accom panied your first sexual experiences, for example, guilt, satisfaction, anxiety, etc.? V. Sexuality and the media 1. The tw o m ost im portant T.V. B roadcasting N etw orks in Spanish {U nivision and Telemundo) p resen t ta lk shows w here a variety of topics about sexuality are openly discussed, for exam ple, C ristina and Sevcec. Do you w atch these T.V. shows? W hat, if any, have you learned from them ? W hy do you like them ? W hat do you th in k about th ese shows? VI. Sexuality, AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Diseases VII. Sexuality, Immigration, and Cultural Differences 1. Do you th in k th a t Mexican society is different th a n N orth A m erican society in term s of th e ir perceptions or ideas about sexuality? Why? How? 2. Do you th in k th a t Mexican women are different th a n N orth A m erican women w hen it comes to sexuality or th e ways they see them selves or behave as sexual beings? Why? How? 3. Do you th in k th a t after em igrating to and living in th e U nited S tates you have changed your opinion, values, or your personal perspective about your sexuality and sexuality in general? If answ er is NO: W hy do you th in k th a t h as not happened? If answ er is YES: W hy do you th in k th a t h as happened? 361 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. MU. Sexuality and social institutions, contexts, and networks in the United States 1. Do you th in k life in the U nited S tates has changed th e w ay you behave or th in k in regard to sex? W hy? (Explain) If YES go to #2 If NO go to # 3 2. In w h at specific ways has your sexual life changed afte r you left Mexico to come to th e U nited S tates? W ould you please give som e concrete exam ples? How do you feel about it? W hat do you th in k about y o u rself now? How is your sex life a t th is m om ent and du rin g la s t years? 3. Do you ta lk about sex w ith your friends, your relativ es, or th e people you are surrounded by h ere in th e U nited S tates? W hat are some of th e stories you have talk ed about? In w hat context do your conversations tak e place, for exam ple, in private, a t hom e, a t work, on th e phone, etc.? 4. Do you ta lk about sex w ith your friends and relatives w hen you go back to Mexico for a visit? W hat are some of th e stories you have talk ed about? In w h at context do your conversations tak e place, for exam ple, in private, a t hom e, a t work, on th e phone, etc.? 5. As you establish your life here in th e U nited S tates, do you think th a t schools, hospitals, clinics, churches have h ad som e influence on th e w ay you th in k and behave about sexuality? Why? How? How about your neighborhood? or your friends? IX. Sex education: current beliefs and attitudes as a mother 1. Do you have children? How m any? W hat are th e ir ages? How m any sons? How m any daughters? If she DOES NOT have any children, go to next section. 2. Do you feel com fortable while talk in g about sex w ith your children? 3. W hat type of sex education w ould you like to give to your son? W hat type of sex education w ould you like to give to your daughters? W ould sex education be different depending on gender? Why? W hy not? 4. Im agine you had stayed in Mexico, do you th in k you w ould give your children th e sam e sexual education you would give them (or th a t you are giving or have given to them ) h ere in th e U nited S tates? Why? 362 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. X. Personal reaction to real life situations (vignettes) 1. C a rta al P apa (L etter to th e Pope) A group of actively involved Catholic wom en (religious nuns, catech ists, and secular women) m ade th e C arta a l Papa (L etter to th e Pope) public to th e Pope during h is v isit to Mexico in 1990 to address some of th e ir concerns as women. a) Do you know som ething about th is letter? In th is le tte r they openly ta lk about th e need for a radical change in th e w ay th e Catholic church perceives w om en and sexuality. I w ould like for you to liste n to th e following passage included in th is le tte r (this is m y E nglish tran slatio n of original tex t in Spanish): I t is about tim e th a t we assum e sexuality as p a rt o f God’ s gratitude, and o f those who m utually give them selves in freedom a n d generosity, not only to have children. I t is about time to m editate and recognize th a t sexuality is holy a n d divine. I t is about tim e th a t we, as Catholic women, recognize th a t G od has granted us w ith a body which we should love and rescue because it is a transcendent p a rt o f us as persons and o f our u n ity w ith God. I t is urgent for the Vatican, bishops, a n d priests to act a n d th in k in a radically different manner, by allow ing themselves to be questioned by the experiential w orld o f women so they act according to the P lan o f God. I t is urgent fo r aU o f you to consider us as a d u lt persons, capable to possess o u r lives a nd our bodies so our options are trusted a n d respected, a n d the right to intim acy, to sexuality, in a responsible m anner a n d in harm ony w ith the values o f the Kingdom : in truth, injustice, in love, and in equality. O nly in m utual respect, and w ith a recognition in plenitude o f everybodys rights as persons, w ill we be able to contribute to a h u m anity w ith no lim its an d a “ life in abundance ” b) W hat is your opinion about th e passage th a t I ju s t read for you? XI. Interviewee’ s personal information 1. M ay I a sk your age? 2. W here in Mexico w ere you bom and raised? 3. F or how long have you lived in th e U nited S tates? 4. M ay I a sk your m arital statu s? 5. M ay I a sk your occupation? 6. How m any years of education have you com pleted so far? 7. How m any brothers an d sisters do you have? 363 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. XU. Interviewee’s personal reaction to interview 1. Is th ere a question I did not a sk you th a t you consider would have been interesting, controversial or difficult for you to be asked? 2. Is there a question th a t you find difficult to answer during th is interview? 3. Is th ere som ething we did not discuss about sexuality th a t in your opinion w ould be im portant for you to sh are w ith me? 364 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. APPENDIX I N T E R V IE W G U ID E S p a n is h v e rs io n Note: The interview questions th a t were no t exam ined in this dissertation (e.g., section V I - sexuality, AIDS, and sexually tran sm itted diseases; and section X - p articip an ts’ reactions to th e some of th e vignettes) have not been included in this interview guide. I. Sexualidad: conceptos generates 1. ^Como se siente u sted al saber que h ab lara conmigo sobre tem as que tienen que ver con la sexualidad? 2. <iQue la motiva a p articip ar en este estudio? 3. E n term inos sencillos, «?c6mo definirfa usted los t£rm inos “sexualidad” y “virginidad”? 4. Digam e, en cuanto a la crianza que u sted recibio, id e que m anera le hizo sen tir en relacion al sexo? II. R elig io n y sexu a lid a d 1. <?En cual religion fiie u sted educada? 2. <iQue creencias en relacion a la sexualidad aprendio usted de su religion? 3. i U sted obedecio o practico este tipo de creencias? <?Por que? £Por que no? 4. ^Aun cree usted en este tipo de creencias? <iPorque? ^P orqueno? IU. E ducacion sexual en la fd m ilia 1. < j;S e le perm itia a u sted hacer preguntas o h ab lar sobre tem as sexuales en su casa cuando e ra n in a y conforme usted crecia? ^Con quienes? iCuando? ^Aqueedad? Digame acerca de estas experiencias. 2. iComo respondian su m adre, padre, o la persona que estaba encargada de su educacion (abuela, tia , m adrina) a estas preguntas? ^Recuerda u sted algunos ejemplos? 3. <iSi u sted fuera de nuevo u n a n in a pequena, sabiendo lo que ahora sabe sobre el sexo, como le g u staria cam biar el modo en que usted seria educada en relacion a la sexualidad? ^Porque? £Como? 4. ^Si u sted tuviera u n hija, que tipo de educacion sexual le daria Ud. aella? 365 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction p