YELLOW
Vol. VI
March 15, 1921
DOG
Look Out For Its Snap
Los Angeles, Cal.
Number 1
Whines As S. C. Takes Second In Meet
Track Team Takes
How Dog I'o Tell
Tale of Troubles
Yei
PURE MINDS—
Our whelpinga will not be understood because of your I innocence nnd so no harm will be done you.
EVIL MINDS—
Our whelping* will not blight j you, for your hearts are already I hardened.	J
II has long been n problem of serious discussion where Schiller won his fa mous nickname of • Spec.” Our brindled cur lias roamed over the cinder nath iu 'lueste of information, has prowled around the Z. K. E. house and has followed the double trail of Schil-
|er‘ 8I1(1 - of a moonlight night,
all in vain. It's only when the sun shines bright, on the fair shoulders of our wondrous athlete, that the real reason is learned, for then the frackles blaze forth as specks on a turkey egg. Here you have the solution, though the world was long Inclined to think that "Spec" had some thing to do with spectacles, but the notion was false.
Gwyn Wilson. U. S. C.’s coi.iing golf champion, who has given up the cinder path for the fareway. and instead of digging holes, now "puts” them, has the record of 94 for the first nine. This mark stands unparalleled in the annals of golfdom for a beginner. It was believed for a while that there was
SKULL AND DAGGER
DEAD AND BURRIED
The said eternal "high brow" organ-
a saphead. about ten years of age, who j iza,*<’n known as Skull and Dagger has
...	.	Ilf fori V noacad mil nf rmr int/lol Tim
rolled up a larger score, but Investl , gation proved that hiB mark was only I 91. How proud the college should be I of its golfer, particularly when it is ; learned that he will always represent his Alma Mater and refuse to wear the j color of any club.
William Isenstine, our Oriental champion, was badly handicapped at the beginning of the season with a pulled
utterly passed out of our midst. The memory may call to mind their existence in the light of prehistoric time. They have deceased. The skull alone remains and the dagger with which they committed suicide. The dry bones of Skull and Dagger may be found sprinkled around the campus. The so-called president of this dead society has tried in vain to breathe
U. S. C.'s baseball team will not make the trip to Japan. Such is the derision of the faculty committee, and with it go the chances for a super-nine which would stand at the head of the baseball standing of western colleges and universities. Just why the Cardinal and Gold diamond artists should have no incentive to work beyond that of defeating the other college teams in Southern California remains to be explained by the committee above mentioned—the students have nothing to say on the matter.
Trojan teams, we say this for the benefit of the committee, have a high standing everywhere. Of nine monogram winners in track last year, five men went back to Harvard in competition for the final Olympic tryouts in the country and three crossed the Atlantic to represent the United States in Belgium. Incidentally, high point men for the American Olympic team was furnished by the University of Southern California when Charley Pad-doek captured first in the 100-metre dash and second in the 200-metres in addition to running the last lap for the American relay team, which took first.
Gridiron Games Were Played For the benefit of the committee we also remark that several football Karnes were played by the Trojan eleven last fall, and that said eleven did not lose a single game, numbering Oregon and Stanford among its victims. Furthermore, the team will in all probability make a trip to Berkeley next semester, unless the committee ran dig up an excuse to prevent such a proceeding, and will there stage a masterly battle with the team which is by common consent the greatest in the world. There is no doubt that California will have Its hardest game on the Saturday that U. S. C. meets her eleven on Alumni Field.
The basket ball squad of the University made up the strongest team among the Southern colleges and gave the high powered L. A. A. C. quintet plenty to think about ln both games which were played between teams.
Why Not Baseball?
In every major sport thus far along in the year Trojan athletes have given wonderful demonstrations of their | powers This work has been done by I •he bard work of the coaches and athletes themselves and with the aid of the whole-hearted enthusiasm and spirit which their efforts have kindled in the breasts of every member of [be student body. If this student body i had anvtbing to ay about the proposed trip to Japan by the squad, there [ would be no friction of hesitation before the favorable decision would be made |f the coach had his way his ; men would make the trip. But the •™>ty committee has come through , th a masterly demonstration of the i art that it In probably atrophied from I , •boulders up. and certainly so I rom the bead down, by deying to the ri»i ierB 0f l*1P ('ar<linal aud Gold the ii l° trave* t0 u country which is i th» lo meel mnre ,han *t8 share of | e eipense and Is anxious to see our i athletes In action.
will have no such trouble again. It is | also understood that William has re-jeently received a medal from the Royal I Order of Boneheads in Spain for worthy work done in Spanish. The Spanish department even went so far ! as to request our Bill to stay out of track meets in order that he might devote more time to his beloved study, j Did you ever notice what a change of environment would do for a ftllow? This long, lean Buschmeyer, whose strength was sapped by some invisible force in the past years when performing on the track, has been remade by attending Law, and only calling three nights a week instead of seven. And he practices once a week, regularly.
If Swede Evans’ harem ever compared notes, what a mass of fur would fly.
nigh impossible.
dry
The
members of
Ufh J, \Tnf Spjlfl \ muscle'.“r,iris‘sFncerely"ho£d“thaVhe 'ife «»• sleeping cohorts, but rr fly iV UL kJClLLL	|„tlll —____V,	I. <_ to bring life Into dry bones is well
H aseballists To Japan?
AHA!
CAMPUS PERSONALITIES
By Humperdink Stover
It was a bright day, and Huperdink was feeling good. Huperdink always feels good when there is somebody near whom he can criticise. Here is a shorthand report taken by one of the Yellow Dog's fearless reporters:
When Swede Evans looks nasty, the man he’s staring at wants to move as quickly as possible. Swede Is like a young cultivated mountain—when he has his hair cut—and when he starts moving it’s like an avalanche coming | to meet you. When he arrives they play slow music and ring in the crepe. That is one type of bad man for you.
An old lady, after waiting in a confectionery store for about ten minutes, grew grossly impatient at the lack of service.
Finally she rapped sharply on the counter.
"Here, young lady,” she called, “who waits on the nuts.”
With due respect to everybody and everything we, the w'hole body of degenerates known as chemistry students, wish to express our deepest thanks and appreciation to the administration for that cozy little shack known as the Chemistry building. To anyone not having distinguished it from the other wrecks of architecture on the campus we might say that It is located in the vicinity of that prehistoric monument to the undefiled Theologs, the Theology building.
Skull and Dagger are content to rest on the fame and laurels of tbe dim past, when it had power and influence on the campus.
That such an organization should be dead is an act of providence. The rank and file must alone have honor, power and influence. Skull and Dagger Is the embodiment of aristocracy. It was a vicious union of the aristocrats in the school to dominate and to be the all powerful body. Its members were capitalistic leaders who had a monopoly on the various school activities. It was their purpose to control the destiny of the masses of student body and to reign supreme by tyranny
That such an organization should die was fortunate for the welfare of the common students. Let us rejoice in their passing, for the death of Skull and Dagger saved us from revolution and bloodshed. Such a despotic organization was detrimental to society and the Ideals of democracy.
Let us be on guard for fear this article will inject life Into their dead bones. On guard! for their resurrection would be hazardous.
Bears Kick Slats Out of
Trojan Horse; Yellow
Dog Scoops “Weakly”
By HAMMOND BEENS
To the sad melody of a “heckofalot 4 1 2” to “notverydarnmuch A i/j,” the California 8ear (not "Teddy”) stamped on the Trojan horse yesterday afternoon. The meet being of a dual nature, the local “nearly nudes” came in second.
The ‘‘Yellow Dog” sports expert lays the blame of the defeat in part on Forrest Blalock and Marion Raab, who weren’t near as fast as they said they’d be. Had these men won their events as advertised, Useless See would have been beaten anyway.
The ‘‘Yellow Dog” points with pride to the fact that it has scooped the Trojan In giving out the above details of vhe meet.
Condemn Library
A certain Methodist minister and his son came walking across the campus the ether day and when the old gentleman Baw this same little blonde, he turned to the boy and | said: “See here, son, I don’t want | to hear of you being around with | that girl any more. She has the I reputation of being wild.” But the j son replied: ‘‘She’s not wild at all, j father; in fact, I can get up quite I close to her.”
Now' Charlie Dean, on the other hand, is a cute, shy, retiring little chap I who never does anything he shouldn’t and always has his ears scrubbed. His j cheery, vacuous smile and vacant prattle of innocent collegiate joy is carry-1 Ing him straight to heaven on a Ford. ( The only question of interest in my mind is: Will the gas and the tires hold out?
Ask Baby Calland if he’s seen a j SNOWflake, but start running as you ; say it, and don’t stop till you reach Europe.
Don Warner can sure play the piano j standing on his head—especially when -?? Ask Don; he knows.
-
Extra! Extra! Two Gamma Eps seen at the Alex last Saturday night: and j with women, too! Nightie, night, j What is this world coming to?
Whenever Cap Rogers hoves In sight | seize the flrst shovel handy and stand j ready to heave to.
The only trouble we can see with Dumbbell Smith are his jokes. Don’t | get the Dumbbell started, it’s too hard j to make him stop.
Theta
IF YOU’VE A GIRL
*f you’ve a girl Who writes a nice, big letter,
And ser.ds it promptly, quickly off to you;
If you've a girl
Who does all you will let her And cheers you up when you are feeling blue;
If you’ve a girl
And you can never fret her While she is merry, happy through and through;
If you’ve a girl
And know that you’re her debtor Far more than all the cash you ever blew;
If you’ve a girl
Your aid and your abettor In every little thing you try to do;
If you’ve a girl
And heaven made no better An angel always sweet and fresh as dew;
If you’ve a girl
And no one else can get her Because to her one love she’s ever true;
If vnu’ve a girl
And I have never met her—
Why—then—there’s the girl for you!
"The city ordinance requiring that all tunnels be adequately lighted will affect U. S. 0., and make it necessary for the university authorities to install additional electric lights in the library,” said City Attorney Albert L. Stephens yesterday, as he passed unfavorably on Registrar J. H. Montgomery's alternative plan to import from the Pennsylvania coal mines, where they have become accustomed to working in total darkness, a number of boys to act as guides for those people who wish to enter the University library after twelve o'clock noon.
The unsatisfactory state of affairs at the university was ca'ied to the attention of the city poiice department last week when two rapidly-moving vehicles—Doctors Allison Gaw and James Main Dixon—collided in the
AN INVITATION
February 21, 1921. To Zeta Kappa Epsilon:
Pi Beta Phi at home Friday, 2 to 5 P.M.
R. S. V. P.
narrow passage way between the six tables of the library, beaching three students on the window sill, and burying two beneath a wreckage of chairs and tables. Although no one was seriously Injured, City Attorney Stephens states, it is possible that the library at some time may have a number of students in it, and that the loss of life, in such an event, might be appalling.
The commonly accepted explanation of the accident is that l>octor Dixon, being unfamiliar with the traveled channel, and unable to locate it in the darkness of 1:30 o'clock p. m , when the sun was on the west side of the buildings, failed to perceive Doctor Gaw’s danger until it was too late.
The flrst person to arrive on the scene of the accident was Superintendent of Buildings Huse, who urrlved in half an hour with a broom and dustpan. Had the Superintendent of Buildings not heard the sound of the disaster. lt is unlikely that the injured would have been attended to until a library attendant entered the room to lock tlie door at six o’clock.
THE ANSWER
February 22, 1921. To Pi Beta Phi:
Zeta Kappa Epsilon ALSO at home Friday, 2 to 5 P.M.
A VACATION REVERIE
Little bankroll, ere we part,
Let me hug you to my heart;
All the year I’ve clung to you,
I've been faithful, you've been true.
Little bankroll, ln a day.
You and I will Btart away,
To a gay and festive spot— .
I'll come home, but you will not.
SERVICE CAMPAIGN
Ambiguous
R. Burnight—And do you know nothing whatever of religion?
Cannibal Well, we got a taste of It when the last missionary was bere.
YELPS YOWLED YEARLY
Pictures for El Rodeo must be taken by the end of the semester.
The weekly Trojan will appear sometime this week.
"Toodles” Ralphs announces the publication of his new book, "Don’t Love Me, Love My Dog.”
Twenty-three flunks are kicked out of school. It is rumored thut more are to follow.
“Slim” Gordon, in a talk on segregation. at the (’oinitla Liten. ry Society, ■nude the bold assertion that U. S. C. Ib becoming a matrimonial bureau.
Junior Clar.s puts bun on dunclng. Charley Dean puts up noble plea ln fuvor of a Junior Prom at Solomon's.
The Yellow Dog takes pleasure ln announcing the pledging of C. Rastall to Phi Alpha. Also Fred Axe to Lambda Rho.
IN LAPLAND
___Psi leads the scholarship
again, I see, with Thatcher Taylor as
the star pupil. That's why they won’t	, 4U	.. . .
let him compete in any of the frosh	They sat alone in the moonlight,
track meets. They a|e afraid bis	And ihe ,0othed his troubled brow, brains will get mixed up with his feet ) „Dearesti ( know my life’s been fast,
and another Phi	But I'm on my last lap now.”
shot to the dogs too bad!
Harold and Amor Galloway are the original Horueos. The way they kid those Thetas is simply awful. I’d ad vise the fair young things to watch their step or they'll fall in and get wet.
I.ast
season baseball took its first
SOMETHING ON HIS
HIP, PROBABLY
"There’s a stranger outside who wants to see you, Mr. Blbbles."
"Didn’t he give you his card?” “No, sir. He merely said to tell you that you and he were in full accord on the eighteenth amendment ”
"Ah! Show the gentleman ln. He probably has a proposition of merit to submit.”—Birmingham Age-Herald.
ANOTHER FISH STORY
M 'i,, 1 ■ student body since the | team w*len Coach Henderson ted a
® which won a great majority of ihh #<*1’ an<* ani>exed the champion-1*1 ®* lhe Southern California col- ; t>Hr..H| V “ w*de margin It was ham-the « i \ la<'{ °* suitable grounds, but pl_JrJof the men and the coach •Port! at r* s°n( e among the major
Thi ®rea* Chance Thi» Year raise year **lere was a chance to talki.H «	to one of the most
h»#HuiN V“m“ *" ,l,e We8t un(t in when ii ‘ 0,1 the entire country atit-mi, l,ro|>osed trip came to the **11! wi!JIVof tlle t’nlverslty Entbusl-wuo w S n ^ ^or there was no student ■ c*»ualiu 1101 ,lave <ared to remark eoJuZl iV*611 discussing his or her ^ 1 " ‘th an outsider; "Yes, they’re
Dear Skipper—What's the difference between old fashioned and new fashioned kisses?
Movie Maid—About five minutes.
“If you can’t laugh at the jokes of this age, laugh at the age of these
“It’s never too late to mend.” Grant I pokes.”
Kulins till' morning after the night Ik1	_____ ____ ______
fore. Grant is certainly to be com Tiny Townsend went to the Doc, one ! without u*jng a net?” he was asked, mended for his sincere effots; he Is day, all In. He was advised to take uj ••well,” replied the fisherman, “i I mending rapidly.	j Turkish bath. After doing so, Tiny j takeg the boat, and goes out a good j
--went home, declaring that he felt fine, j wayif and then I throws my chewing !
A Big Tau was tearing trousers down |)Ut that he |ia(j i0Bt his vest. That j tobacco into the water; then fish chew the street t’other day when an S. A. E waH	football season. The other | tobacco, and when they come to the
bailed him. "Whither bound, Sig (iay he felt ln tj,t. same condition, and j t0p to spit, I hit ’em with an oar." Tau?" yelled the 8 A. E. “Aw quit af,er taking another Turkish, he re
your kidding.” answered the Sig Tair turne(j home and said, “I certainly feel pear Captain Hilly—If you had a | "My feet aren’t tied yet, are they. flne un(, wlla( do you know? I found | Kiri out riding in your automobile, and
(Contii
•No." said the S. A E . but your tie Is.” And then it began to rain
TOO TRUE
She flaunts a skirt rather high, And quite a length of hose. The S. C. girl is never shy, However shy of clothes.
my vest ” my shirt.”
Du*d on page 4)
‘It was under nhe complained of being told and said | she would be all right if she only had j something around her, would you drive
Concerning Our Latest Little College back, as 1 did, and get her coat?
Vamp	Bashful Bob No, but 1 wouldu t do
She: ”1 am angry with you,” ad- 1 what you did, you cheerful prevari-1 dressing a certain slim Frosh, who j cator. has enlisted as one of her rushees.	-	—
He "And you are angry because i A woman Is never so disappointed as I asked to kiss you?”	when she asks a man to behave, and
She: 'Yes, becaui j you asked *’ he behaves.
A. ThorntoBj "You suy thlB hair restorer is good, do you?
Druggist: “Yes, sir; I know a man who took the cork out of u bottle of this stuff with his teeth und he had a mustache next day.’ ’
Judge: “Whut is your profession." Prisoner: “I am a poet."
Judge: “That Is not a profession. It is a disease.”
Registration for clasess Is like buying oil stock one day you think you have something, next day you haven’t.
She—You remind me of an egg
He—Not bad, I hope.
She—No, you have posibilltiea.
ON THE FRONT 8TEP8
He—Have you any class now, Mary?
She—Look me over!
NOTHING
Her lips were so near that, what else
could I do?
You’ll be angry, I fear, but Her Ups were so near—
Well, I can’t make lt clear,
Or explain it to you, but—
Her lips were so near that,
What else could I do?
REAL OPTIMISM Whatever else may happen,
Now that the country’s dry,
The sailor will have his port,
The farmer will have his rye!
The cotton still has got its gin,
The seacoast has its bar,
And each of us will have a bier,
No matter who we are.
I. Waterman again works out dally on the U. S. C. oval In preparation for the next Pasadena race.
It Is rumored that ‘‘Bill" Isenhauer was seen at the artists’ ball musque dressed In a bare costume.
Floyd Tarr was seen lust evening at
Wltzel's in a ono-act drama, "Borrowed
Clothes.”
Engineers had another hard times party. Must be a hard bunch.
Mr. Huse's revised edition of traffic rules Is just off the presa and may be obtained on request at the treasurer’s
office.
Minister—“Will you be at church tomorrow. Lambert?"
Lambert—"Yes, If It rains. I need an umbrella.
Fred to Myra—Why talk to Charlie, he talks about nothing?
Myrnu I like talking about nothing, j Its Ihe only thing I know anything
about.
WANTED — Good home for young lady who requires very little attention at night.—New Orleans Tlmes-Plcayune.
NOTICE
To Whom It May Concern: Greetings—
I, Leo Calland, commonly called “Babe,” take this means of announcing that I am neither in love or contemplating matrimony. Any statement that I have been bid K. I), is erroneous. Neither is it true that I spent my last week-end in the mountains viewing the snow.