THE YELLOW DOG
xt Volume
Trojan City. Wednesday, April 4, 192.’]
No Number
OLLEGE OF LAW CAMPUS TO RECEIVE NEW STATUES
lie executive committee of the School is contemplating a movent looking to the creation of a je campus for the students of law.
present the Law School campus -.ists of one piece of sidewalk six-feet long in front of the entrance he Tajo building at First and dway, one doorway, one small \tor holding nine persons, one hall-on the fourth floor, five feet wide
requisites For Fraternities Given To Ambitious Barbs
i Alpha-—Must look like a Hart )x and Schaffner ad. "Must con-jr Beta worth waiting for fifteen Must be able to put up with 1 walk as though he owned the •ersity. Must think that Al Wes-is funny.
mma Epsilon—Must use Stacomb. smoke Milo Violets. Must be to put up with Marquis Busby L<e Hoy Wolfe. Must read Vanity Must look like a man as much OSS ible.
i Kappa Tau- Must remember Phi Kappa Tau was founded in I—not in 1922. Must remember P. K. T. is a national frat even isn't anything else. Must not be iped of belonging to Phi Kappa Mut put up with Howard Lang-Must not object to religious .ics.
s*ta Psi—Must be able to pass Intelligence Test. Must not ex-
i'much.
Kappa Epsilon—Must be able raish alibis for failure of the y basketball teem. Must think Harry Kennedy is a good yell r. Must believe that Zke athletes made IT. S. C. 'Must consider l»ership in fraternity honorable, ma Chi-—Must have no self-ct Must believe Grant Khuns to good actor. Must be hardened r. Must put up with Frank Had-Enrollment in University and >ion from High School not rary.
:ma Alpha Epsilon—Must have a strong stomach. Must try to to eat with fork. Must learn of city life. Must forget past ry of frat. Must not object to 'pt politics.
i Alpha Mu—Must take Guy seriously. Must laugh at ?11 Jessen's “jokes.” Must pre-to think that the frat is as good ny other, and that you wouldn't another if you could.
:ma Tau—Must not be very par-r. Must have a good line of jokes.
:ta Sigma Nu—Must be able to n the same block with Phi Alpha ndure Henry McCann and sing songs to the Phi Mu's just across street at midnight. Bob Rowley lies that not given by Captain and Hot Dog.
by seventy-fice feet long, and one alleged club room, which at present is filled with two tons of discarded supreme court reports and one federal board operative not yet discarded and the rest or the rest room is filled with assorted lockers and antique furniture.
The school hopes to be able to secure the use of the roof for those desiring to frolic. The installation of a roof garden in connection with the Law School would undoubtedly add greatly to the popularity of that institution.
One of the most important additions to the Law School campus made for many months was made just lately. After months of longing the boys were delighted to find that some kind soul had installed a mirror in the boys’ rest room (Note—Not a smoking parlor). For information see Pat Millikan. C.D. (Chief Detective).
WELLING LIKES LICE GAZETTE
rtistic photography has been a r of mine for years, but the pic-which I have taken have never ed me,” said Dr. Ralph Tyler -lling in his office last week. ever,9’ continued the head of the >phy Department, ‘‘I have just ly found a method of appeasing esires. 1 have sent in a two-subscription for the Police Ga-
e periodical has in its weekly is-collection of the most artistic, tive and interesting example.-tern photography that can <>e And in addition, 1 find that •ity in looking at the pages of gazine is stimulating in me an in young women. My wife ot agree with me upon this >ut from a philosophical view-think it is a good thing.”
ADVERTISEMENT
to a slight attack of flu last was unable to attend one of k-end dances. I go with any-will show me a good time and covered sufficiently to attend |CI" tlis ]*air» Tri, Delta^Tri! 8 this week. Want a bid to Dagger formal sure.
Dirty Digs Sent In By Fair Mud Slinger
Dear Yellow Dog:
You asked for a lot of dirty digs, and I'm the girl who has more on everybody (and less on myself—come around some time!) than any other mud slinger on the campus, including Lindley Bothwell, thank you.
When they tell you that Lambda Rhos are slow, laugh at em. bee: use that house has the best system cf making college a success that there is you don't hear the guys raving .ibout how beair.iful is some Lambda Rho. and how gtHvl sha can dance, d- sit out dances, end In.w nice you don’t have to be when you’re engaged, but— the L. R. s land their saps. Loj!i up the marriage ’ists.
Phi Mu is the home of broken things, especially engagements. Berdine upset the dope by hooking him right away, but she started with that intention. Most Phi Jius just use engagements as excuses for acting the way all girls want to act every once in a while, and when they want a change of scone:y, they just call all bets off, aid start over again.
Zeta Tau Alpha has the system of the Phi Mus, and the ideals of a Theta Psi. They have kicked more girls out because they believed in personal property, and got serious when a fellow got soft, than any movie studio. But the Z. T's manage to keep a lot of things from being known, at that.
D. G.’s RIVAL SIG CHI
Delta Gamma is just as bad as Sigma Chi in rushing athletes. If a man isn't an athlete he’s gotta be from the same house where they are. Just look at all the Zekes rushed, and pledged, by DeeGees. Hal Taft, Monty Morrow, Dewey Starkey, Otto Anderson, Charley Graham. Spec Schiller, and Barney Hoyt, until the Phi Mus knocked him on the head. Where does Chet Dolley spend his evenings? And the rest of his gang? Rushing against the Zekes, per usual.
Talking about Zekes. let’s bawl out the U. S. C. Varsity Zeta Kappa Epsilon basketball team, for its brilliant showing. Seven of the nine men were Zekes, and only one game was won durning the whole season, and that one was fixed. The preliminary work was all right, but those Z. K. E. boys just couldn’t put it in the little round hole. Lack of experience and practice is what Coach Turner claims. Claim granted, but it doesn’t seem possible.
PHI ALPHA DANGEROUS
Phi Alpha is the Vote-for-me Club. Everybody knows that when a P. A. shakes hands with you he wants something. To show you what they do— at the Oratory failure— Great Divide, the program said Music from Phi Alpha. Sigma Tau orchestra was there except for one little P. A., and he didn't play half the time. Insidious propaganda, us girls think it is.
Delta Delta Delta gets away with more stufT than Grant Kuhns can carry. They can’t dance much, but their specialty is sitting out dances, and they sure can specialize. But one thing they have to do is either cut offff about five inches of hair from the head of Wm. Fox. S. A. E. dissipator. or hide him when visitors come. I like hair, but My Gaw (Dr. Allison), that guy looks like Absolam. Try to
Alpha Chi Omega and Phi Mu Sororities Clash In Terrific Basketball Contest
(By Allah, Official Hellspanic Athletic Correspondent)
For three-quarters, the Phi Mus and Alpha Chis had battled on the gridiron to settle the inter-sorority championship, with no scoring. Time after time Dot Roberts, the dashing little quarterback of the Alpha Chis, had hurled the fascinating and powerful fullback, June Harris, at the Phi Mu forward wall, and time after time hud the Phi Mus hurled her back with no gain, for it is well known throughout the sporting world that the line of the seasoned Phi Mus is well-nigh impregnable.
As the fourth quarter started, the play found Francis Cattell, the charming halfback with the educated toe, punting from behind her own goal line, the ball spiraling fifty yards into the arms of Berdine Jackman, safety woman for the Phi Mu eleven, who was
Rehearsals for the Traditional Ivy Day Academic procession began yesterday. In the photograph above (left to right) are Evelyn Smith, Helen Tobie and Evelyn Criffin as they appeared yesterdav practicing for thc annual solemn exercises staffed upon the old college lawn. According to Miss Biles, the coming Ivy Day will be as inspiring as it always has been in the past.— Photo fc\ Ward.
Ben Franklin Visits Trojan Institution
HOW TO BE POPULAR pu Alphas Do AT LAW IS REVEALED Not Admil lhey
Know Al Wesson
HE-
E
Girls, if you want to be popular, always run to Pat Milliken and tell him you will make an affidavit to the effect that you saw certain boys at the Law School dance that had been drinking. In order to do this you will Jiave to practice smelling other people’s breath. This may best be accomplished by continually putting your nose into other people’s business. It is hard work at first, but you soon get used to it and in a short time you will become quite proficient.
Always tell the men students how ungentlemanly they are. They will either change their conduct or invite you to take a trip to a warmer climate.
When called upon to recite or if you are not called upon, but in on some one else and talk just as fast as you can and in the same tone of voice. Be as monotonous and tiresome as possible, for the instructor will be so glad when you sit down that he will give you a good grade out of sheer gratitude.
DIXON SETS PACE
“I strongly recommend pinochle for all young people,” said James Main Dixon in an interview recently. “It is an interesting and uplifting game and stimulates the mind to react upon high planes. I want to thank the members of Sigma Chi Fraternity again for showing me such an enlightening pastime.”
Further inquiry revealed that Sigma Chi entertained last week in honor of the Doctor with a German Beer Party. After six rounds of the card game refreshments in the form of pretzels, frankfurters and beer were served.
F rank Hadlock assisted the Doctor home in his coupe.
“Ding-a-ling-a-ling.”
“Phi Alpha House.”
“Hello, I want to speak to Al Wesson, please.”
“Lowell Jessen? Sorry, you have the wrong number.”
“No, no, I want to speak to Al, I said, not Lowell.”
“Oh. I see—you want the Trojan office. Al Tachet and Lowell are both there.”
“You don’t seem to understand. I want to speak to the fellow you was responsible for that Extravaganza.” “Edgar Hansen, you mean. Oh, sure, but he’s not here. Page the College of Music.”
Oh, dear, I said the person who wrote the Extravaganza music.”
At a tremendous and terrific hot-air session in the Old Chapel this morning, Coach Alan Nichols’ crack aggregation of throwers of the bull decided that a cerise sweater with a green me-blem of a snorting he-cow should be awarded to the debaters.
The team assembled at the call of Nichols. Hardly had the meeting been called to order when opinions began to be expressed vociferously and vehemently. Reverend Grieve, star hat-air artist for the Trojan institution and i leading pastor of the City of Oxnard, ‘stated that the award should be practical as '' eh as appropriate, and therefore he moved that a pound box of assorted cough drops should be presented to each Trojan orator at the end of the season. Professor Blank's furious with rage, arose to a point of
Now you re talking. ^ ou mean | order. “If the boys have throat trou Mary Taylor. But she wears an Al- j b]ej” he shouted, “the University will
furnish three-in-one oil, nothing more.”
pha Chi pin, not a Phi Alpha. Sure, most if the Alpha Chis are rtying to wear Phi A pins—.”
“You dumbell—
“Hay, did you say -.”
“No, I didn’t say I wanted to speak
Coach Nichols agreed with Blanks, stating that he had tried three-in-one and found it to be an excellent lubricant.
Ned Lewis and Roland Maxwell were
to Dudley Hayes either. I just wrant j on their feet in an instant insisting
to say something to Alfred -.”
“Oh. sure, I see, you mean you want to speak to the President of the Pauline Association. Just a minute— lam a dumbell, no fooling. Hay, Al, Al— -Telephone.”
S. A. E.’s TAKE DROP
Delta Beta Tau took an S. A. E. Vice President Sophomore | barter in 1921, and a big drop. They A. House, Phone W.5686.
(CONTINUED ON LAST PAGE)
..Yellow Dog would like to announce the marriage of Hilde-garde Stivers and Robinson Locks, but said secret has been kept under cover so long the Purp hates to let it out. Yellow Dog is as ashamed of it as they are, so it will be kept quiet from this time forth.
--o--
NEW JOKE (?)
..I'm a cannibal!. I’m a cannibal!
I’m a cannibal! ...............
- Why are you a cannibal?. I’m a cannibal because I just had my girl for lunch. ...
Coach Elmer C. Henderson believes j in playiitg golf for exercise. On the Pi Beta Phi golf Links last week Henderson did not
play golf, but his attempt was worthy of notice. “Gloomy Gus” is an ardent follower of the sport, whenever he connects so he has something to follow.
GREEN TEA
Zeta Kappa Epsilon enjoyed her third tea of the new semester. Panama creams were also indulged in to excess.
that an emblem should be external and not internal in nature. The majority agreed with them and the discussion was resumed. Thereupon the mighty Brennan arose and declared for a brass watch charm in the form of a shovel. His proposal was quickly overruled.
The discussion next centered on wearing apparel. Clarence Wright declared for a sweater with an emblem representing a gust of hot air upon it. He was hotly opposed by Nichols, who favored the he-cow emblem. “Bull Durham is well enough advertised,” Wright stated fiercely.
“You’re a liar,” roared Nichols.
“Jump in the lake,” shrieked Wright.
In a minute they were at each other’s throats. A free-for-all ensued and when t’.ie smoke had cleared away the advocates of the he-cow emblem were found to be victorious.
-o-
DELTA PI CHAPERONED
Early yesterday morning Prof. Roy T. Thompson was seen walking home with the back seat of his Ford under his arm. He reported at the Police Station that while out for the evening with a feminine acquaintance his car had been stolen.
-o-
Buck Oudermuelen calling her up for a date:
“Hello, dear! Are you vacant tonight ?”
Delta Pi Sorority wishes to announce that it is now properly chaperoned in its associations with Phi Kappa Tau Fraternity. Prof. John L. Riggleman has just moved into the house .next door to the girl’s house and they feel that the neighborhood on Thirty-seventh Place will no longer question the relations between the two student organizations.
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PHI KAPPA TAU
Phi Kappa Tau wishes it known that none of its members are engaged . to Alpha Chi Omegas.
Benjamin Franklin says:
A child thinks 20 shillings and 20 years can scarce ever be spent.
Gamma Espilon A full belly is the mother of all evil.
Home Economics.
A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.
Maxwell Chamberlai n A light purse is a heavy curse.
Phi Beta Delta. All would live long, but none would be old.
Sara Taft Somers.
A man in a passion rides a mad horse.
Phi Mu.
A man without a wife is but half a man.
George Kerslake. An empty bag cannot stand upright.
Cap Rogers.
A plowrman on his legs is higher than
a gentleman on his knees.
George Boeck. Approves not of him that commends all you say.
Phi Alpha.
A traveller should have a hog's nose, deer's legs and an ass's back.
Stray Greeks. At 20 years of age the will regns; at thirty the wit! at 40 the judgment.
Guy Claire.
Be always ashamed to catch theyself idle.
Dick Emmons. Better slip with foot than tongue.
Zeta Tau Alpha. Changing countries or beds, cures neither a bad manager, nor a fever.
Gy*wnn WTilson. Clean your finger, before you point at my spots.
Yellow Dog.
Clearly spoken, Mr. Fog! You explain English by Greek.
Prof. Cooke.
Do me the favor to deny me at once.
Helen Huff.
Drink does not drown care, but waters it, and makes it grow faster.
Theta Psi.
Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.
Sigma Tau.
Ever since follies have pleased, fools have been able to divert.
Al Wesson.
Fine linen, girls, and gold so bright, (’hoose not to take by candle light.
Kappa Delta. Fish and visitors stink in three days.
Phi Alpha Mu house. Great modesty often bides great merit.
Ralph L. Powe.r (Ireat talkers, little doers.
Lowell Trautman. Happy’s the wooing that’s not long a doing.
Berdine and Warren. He is all clothed who is bare of virtue.
Karl Didricksen. He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals.
John Milton He that takes a wife, takes care.
Phil Tiernan. If your head is wax .don’t walk in the sun.
Dudley Hayes. If there anything men take more pain?, about than to render themselves unhappy?
Hazel Jacobson. Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.
Emily Biles.
Let every new year find you a better man. ’
Evelyn Smith.
downed without a gain by a beautiful tackle of that ever-reiiable dainty end, Dixie Balcom. Only the corking of Cora McCorkle a few minutes previous had kept the Phi Mus from smashing over for a touchdown.
MILDRED CIRCLES FLANK
Then, using a confusing assortment of plays, Carolyn “Cuty” Cutler, the petite, brainy quarterback and captain of the Phi Mus, started a spectacular march down the field. Gladys Stone, twice all-American choice for fullback, hit the Alpha Chi center, Mary Taylor, for substantial yardage, while Mildred Holt, the fast darling little halfback of the Mus, circled the Chi’s right flank for long gains. Suddenly shifting the attack, “Cuty” Cutler tossed a delicious little pas* to the bobbed-haired Roma Stone, who was not stopped until she reached the one-yard line.
Here it was that the Phi Mus lost their chance for victory on an unfortunate break. On the first down, Caroline McQuiddy, the Mu's splendid gigantic tackle, took out her entire side of the line and Berdine Jackman walked over for a touchdown. But in the excitement Bess Kissinger had been holding and the ball was called back and the Figueroa street girls j.enalized fifteen yards.
DOT IS SAFETY LADY
Undaunted, Cuty Cutler called for a long end run from drop-kick formation by Milly Holt. Evading the entire team except Dot Roberts, it looked as though the sturdy sweet halfback was headed for a touchdown and undying fame, but the dainty brawny safety lady of the Alpha Chis was yet to be reckoned with. Making a beautiful swan dive, she clutched the speeding Milly by the right ear-ring ami threw her down before the goal was leached.
As soon as the dashing Milly could pick up all of her hairpins, she protested to referee Miss Biles that the Chi quarterback had jabbed her in the excitement with her lipstick. Miss Biles, however, had not seen the offense, and penalized Milly for illegal ues of hands. When the then enraged Mu halfback protested in language learned from her Zeke friends, she was (Continued on page 4)
PIT MILLIKEN SEEN
(CONTINUED ON LAST PAGE)
Yellow Dog’s best “pup” reporter has been trying to run down a rumor that set Law School on its ear during examination week. No one knows just where the rumor started, but in no time it had spread to the entire student body and the campus was filled with excited groups discussing the latest scandal. An investigating committee from the student body was appointed and with the aid of “Bevo,” Yellow Dog’s champion "snifter.” the search for truth was begun.
“Why,” said Mr. W'ilson. frosh prexy and deftly arranging his hair “It is impossible . I don’t believe Mr. Millikan would do such a thing. I don't think he can. Why, when I de livered my famous address at the Law School banquet, I told some real good stories and Mr. Millikan never smiled once. I’m sure he heard me too. Mr. Millikan smile? Never.”
Next, the committee went in search of Daw’son, president of the junior class. He was found in a corner of the junior room, carefully carving his initials in his leg. It was a new leg. we were informed, and he was afraid some one would steal it. After look ing at Dawson we decided that the junior class certainly had a great taste for nick-nacks.
He was so excited when told that Pat Millikan had smiled that he almost dropped his eye. “Oh, how you startled me.” he gasped, as he stuck a thumb-tack in his leg to hold up his sock. “I can’t believe he would do such a thing. He always seemed such a quiet, gentlemanly person. Surely he didn't do it in public! If he did it can mean only one thing and that is that he at last has found a class to which lie can give each one a D or less.”
Leonard Thomas, S. B.. president (we’d better explain that the S. B. ia for student body), said that plans were already under way to start a campaign to collect money for a memorial. “If it is found to be true that Pat Millikan actually smiled, then there is only one thing to do,” sakl J Mr. Thomas. “We will immediately procee dto erect a statue to Pat Millikan. the Sunny Jim of the Law School.